The Marriage Ref (2010) s02e08 Episode Script

Are you married? You are.
That's your wife right there? With her hand still in your lap.
That's adorable.
That normally only happens with dating people.
But she's still in love with you.
How long have you been married? - Six, seven months.
- Six, seven months.
Oh.
That doesn't even count.
You shouldn't even be allowed to say you're married if it's six, seven months.
You should be like, "we're trying it.
" Tonight The Marriage Ref From super group the Black Eyed Peas, grammy award-winning musician Will.
I.
Am.
- If he's O.
G.
, like hardcore gangster with it.
Like, "what? Gangsta fantasy, what? Here we go.
" He's checkin' all that stuff out.
From Warwick, Rhode Island, Gil and Blanca Fontes.
The only thing who it's gonna help my eyes get used to this color is sunglasses.
You're not gonna wear sunglasses in the house.
Star of the hit show 30 Rock, and author of the new book, How to beat up anyone, the groundbreaking Judah Friedlander.
- How long have you been married? - I just got divorced this morning.
From North Carolina, Robert and Stephanie Wilson.
- I pray every night that someone buys that vineyard.
- Going out on your own takes a little bit more guts.
- There's not even vines here.
- From The Tonight Show and Oprah, the hilarious Ali Wentworth.
- Wow! From Revere, Massachusetts, Victor and Karen Lange.
- Fantasy football's a wicked good time to me.
- To me, fantasy football is justDumb.
And now, please welcome your host, Tom Papa! - Thank you! Thank you so much.
Welcome to The Marriage Ref.
I'm Tom Papa.
Your husband acting like a moron this weekend? Your wife bugging you to do things you don't wanna do? It's okay.
After you watch the couples we have on the show tonight, you're gonna realize you're doing just fine.
Say hello to our celebrities, everybody.
Thanks for being here, guys.
- Am I the only married person on the panel? - Well, let's see.
Will.
I.
Am.
- I'm married to, uh, music.
- Married to music.
Do you think you'll be married one day, if you break up with music? - UmYeah, I'm gonna get married eventually.
But it's gonna be like, she gotta be open-minded to have, like, you know, a three-way relationship.
- Ohh.
- Yeah! - Wow! - He means music, everybody.
And how long have you been married? - Ten years.
- Ten years.
How long have you been married? - I just got divorced this morning.
What's up, ladies? How ya doin'? - No, you actually have never been married.
- No, man, not legally.
- Oh.
All right, this is how it's gonna go tonight.
You're gonna watch some couples have their fights, and you're gonna decide who's right: The husband or the wife? And then, at the end of the show, our studio audience is gonna vote on which of tonight's three winners is the rightest.
And that person will win $25,000 and a billboard in their hometown declaring they are right.
- All right, let's meet our first couple.
From historic Revere, Massachusetts, it's Victor and Karen Lange.
- Everything about her, I love.
She's my best friend.
She makes me happy.
- He's a good listener.
- I'm the total package.
That's all you gotta say.
"He's the total package.
" I just can't wait to grow old with her.
It's gonna be fun.
You're so cool.
- I love fantasy football.
I never could play it, you know.
I'm too skinny, too small.
So fantasy football's perfect for me.
I get to be a g.
M.
And to coach--everything.
So fantasy football is a wicked good time to me.
- To me, fantasy football is just dumb.
- I own two teams, so I spend all Sunday on fantasy football.
- Key word, fantasy.
It's not real.
- You traded Peyton Manning for marshawn lynch and roethlisberger.
You didn't even get a change to veto it.
- It's fantasy.
- I have to make sure all my guys are healthy.
- A guy gets injured, and Victor acts like I punched his mother in the face.
- I can't believe I traded him for Donald Driver.
- Victor's conversations are like controlled by fantasy.
- Dude, you are the commissioner, and you have veto power.
- I didn't see that I had to use the veto power on that trade.
- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- Four interceptions and a fumble.
6 for 138 and a touchdown.
Negative ten points right there.
Dominated.
While he's out there watching football, I'm in here, slaving like cinderella.
Sunday's my only free day.
So I would like him to just enjoy time with me.
So what's the big deal if you miss one game? - 'Cause you try to take one game from me, Karen, I'm not foolish-- you're gonna go for two, you're gonna go for three.
And then all of a sudden, I got no Sunday.
It's my day.
It's the man's day.
- Really? It's the man's day? When's it my day? When's the woman's day? There's just so much that we could do besides football.
- Hey, here we go.
- Yeah, there you go.
- We could go ice skating.
Go to the aquarium.
- Get him! Pick him! Ah, see, he's scared.
He's scared.
- Look at historical things, - yeah, here we go! And I'm startin' that defense today, baby! - Anything but football.
Chuck E.
Cheese.
I wouldn't even care.
- You should be able to sit down and support your husband, support my team.
- I'll sit down with you the day I get one Sunday, woman's day, Karen's day, all day.
- You can have that.
- 7:00 in the morning.
Breakfast till midnight.
- You can definitely have that.
- We do everything I want.
- Yeah.
- Then you go right ahead and do that.
- With you.
- No.
No, not on Sunday.
- So the issue here is, should fantasy football be allowed to ruin real Sundays? You play fantasy-- yes, you think so? - Ahem, if my husband was playing fantasy football, I'd go do some fantasy shopping.
- But do you feel like maybe she married him and thought, "oh, this is gonna be my prince charming, and then he ends up looking, you know, like that? - Well, that's her problem.
- I'm more worried about his three friends that are just sitting there on the couch.
You know, those guys They're all wearing the same outfit too.
It's like they're a part of his team.
- There's no chips.
There's no buffalo wings.
It looks like a fantasy party.
- It's pretty depressing, man.
- But he's really into it.
He likes doing this thing.
I mean, do you care what your husband does if he - Well, he's just not being attentive to her.
That's what she's upset about.
- But on Sundays! Who-- - fantasy footballs are a lot of time, though, not just on Sundays.
It's basically, Monday through Saturday is research.
And then Sunday, it all goes down.
- Not only that, you also have to check up on the college stuff, because those dudes that are about to graduate and go to the NFL, that's part of your whole - So you're planning for the future years of it by checking out the college guys who are gonna be pro? - If he's O.
G.
, like hardcore gangster with it.
Like, "what? Gangsta fantasy, what? Here we go.
" He's checkin' all that stuff out.
- So there's a chance that he's even, like, driving around, checking out peewee games in his neighborhood, like "Oh, little Bobby Johnson.
I'm gonna get him in 20 years.
" - If he wants to be a winner.
- Really? - I--I got friends that, they be on that fantasy stuff - Right.
- And it's like a drug.
They, like, cracked out on fantasy stuff.
- Really? - It's serious business.
- But wait, what do you get at the end of fantasy football? - You get a fantasy pile of money.
- Really? - Yeah, you go upstairs, and you pop a fake thing of champagne - Right.
- With your fake friends.
- Right.
- And you're like, "we did it!" - And all these fake naked girls jump out of the closet and go, "we knew you could! We knew you could!" - Yeah, and she's downstairs vacuuming.
All right, we have to take a quick break.
So strap on your fake helmets.
We'll have the Langes right here in the studio when we come back.
Karen Lange explains the problem with fantasy football.
- How many years have you been playing? - I've been playing for about five years.
- How many years have you won? - Never, but I-- - never, right.
Will this husband be victorious? - My wife is always right about everything.
Please, let me be right this one time.
That's all I'm asking.
And later Everybody's kung fu fighting.
- We talk about it.
- Absolutely had no-- - he said--no, no, no.
- Look at the way you're dressed! Find out why when The Marriage Ref continues.
- Okay, welcome back to The Marriage Ref.
Allow me to introduce Victor and Karen Lange.
- Welcome, guys.
- Good to see you guys.
Thanks for being here.
- I just wanna start off by saying that you can make money off this.
This is why-- - you can? - Wait a minute.
You can, but he doesn't.
- That's not the point.
- Ever.
How many years have you been playing? - I've been playing for about five years.
- How many years have you won? - I've--never.
But I can try.
- Never, right.
- But he seems like he enjoys it.
He seems like it's something that he enjoys in his life.
- Yeah, but I don't.
I meanI, you know, I wanna go out on a Sunday with my husband, with my family.
- Right.
- Not have texting.
Not have reading paper.
- She can go out on a Sunday all she wants.
Doesn't need me there.
You know what I mean? - Really, but even when you are there-- - I will go anywhere she wants to go, Monday through Saturday.
- What's wrong with Saturday? - I work.
- You work? - I work Saturday nights.
Sundays, I-- - Tom, may I? - Yes, sure, Ali.
- Can I talk to the husband? Let me ask you a question.
- Yeah.
- Tell me some of the romantic things you do for your wife.
Not--not incl-- not fantasy football.
But, I mean, do you wine and dine her? - I surprise her with roses.
I take her out to eat.
- You surprise me with roses? - Plenty of times! - Really? - A couple weeks ago, I came home with a thing of yellow roses for you.
- For my birthday.
- But I still did it.
It was a surprise.
She was shocked.
- You--you see what I'm getting at.
- Can I tell you something? Like, you're not in the playoffs.
There's no payoff.
There's no super bowl ring.
There's no money, there's-- - this is my super bowl ring right here.
- Aww.
- Oh, then, really? Aww, yeah.
Here we go.
- Nice, my friend! - How 'bout that, Ali? Very good.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Doesn't take much.
Now let me ask you this.
Say it's June, it's a Sunday in June-- what's happening? - I mean-- - baseball.
Yeah, there you go.
Story of my life.
- Do you have a fantasy baseball league? - He has a fantasy everything.
Look, if you had a wife as good-looking as me, right? - Yeah.
- Would I not be your fantasy? Would you not want me to be your fantasy? I mean, I think there's plenty of other guys out there-- - she has a valid point there, but on Sunday, it's all about the football.
It's all about-- - and I'm real.
I'm all real.
- I know you are.
- Well, you gotta understand, it's all about the football.
- Would you allow him to do anything just for himself without you, just to have his own time? - No.
- It's not about allowing him.
You know, I want him to want to give things up for me.
- I want to be with my wife Monday through Saturday.
I want my wife to be in there Sunday, in the game room with me, sitting on the computer, saying, "okay, honey, good job.
" - Yeah, why not throw on a Jersey? - You ask about me, her ever surprising me-- me ever surprising her.
You know, she can ma-- you know, and come with me on Sundays.
- I said yes.
That was, that was the-- - do you ever, like, sit and watch football with him? - No, I don't like it at all.
- Absolutely not.
- Do you help her clean after? - Ugh, never! - Yes, I do.
- Ah! - Absolutely, I vacuum the room.
You know, make the bed.
- Uh, really? - Do you wash dishes with her? - No.
- He has not washed a dish-- - she's better at it than me.
I mean, it's--you know, I'm better than her at fantasy football.
- I would be okay with the fantasy, but he overindulges.
- Was he like that when you first met him? - He liked sports.
He didn't play fantasy the whole time we were together.
- I didn't start playing fantasy until I moved in with her.
Once I moved in with her-- - thanks.
- That's when I started playing fan-- - why? - 'Cause I met her brothers.
Her brother had a guy that, you know, his name is j.
D.
He's the commissioner of the league, and he asked me if I'd wanna do fantasy.
- Talk to the commissioner.
Maybe you can cut a deal.
- I try, I try! - Well, he's on my side.
- This is a really interesting one.
This, to me, as a married man, this is very interesting.
Because people always have their separate interests-- their golfing, their book clubs, they have whatever-- and there's always the other one who's resenting it.
I wanna go to the final call just to see where you guys stand.
- Can I just say one thing really quick? You know, my wife is always right about everything.
No matter what it is, she's always right.
And I don't disagree with that.
I make sure she is always right.
You know, if she says the sky is green, I say, "no, it's blue," she says it's green, I say, "you're right.
" You know what I mean? But just, please, let me be right this one time.
That's all I'm asking.
That's all I'm asking.
- Wow.
- Just this one time.
- All right.
- Please.
- We're going to the final call.
- Wow! - Who is right? Victor or Karen? And I'm gonna start with you, Will.
I.
Am.
- Because it's--he's been transparent since the beginning.
He started playing fantasy football when they moved in together.
- Right.
- You have no kids? - I have two daughters.
So that cuts into family time as well, not just Karen time.
It cuts into family time.
- I love my family more than anything in the world.
- You gotta give me Victor or Karen.
- It'll be Karen.
- Karen.
- Because there's kids.
- Because of the kids.
Throwing in the kids at the last minute.
A hail Mary pass.
- And the mother-in-law, too.
- Next I'm going to Ali.
Victor or Karen? - I'm with you.
- Victor.
Victor.
All right, so it's a tie breaker.
This is very interesting.
It's coming down to my friend, Judah Friedlander.
- It's, um - Victor or Karen? - You know, it's very tough.
I like both you guys a lot.
But I think it comes down-- - No, no, you guys are cool.
You guys are cool.
It's hard to pick.
- It is.
- But basically it comes down to, you got fantasy football - Right.
- But you got a real wife.
So I'm going with Karen on this one.
- Going with Karen! - Thank you.
- Wow! - Going with Karen.
- Wow.
- Well, congratulations, you win.
And you may be the winner of $25,000 and your own billboard.
A big round of applause for the Langes, everybody.
- All right, let's meet our next couple.
From the tiny town of Warwick in the tiny state of Rhode Island, it's Gil and Blanca Fontes.
- We met at a dance.
- We met at a dance.
She just came into this room with a glow around her.
And I was just like, "oh, my God.
" And she was walking towards me, and I knew.
- That's when you fell.
- Oh, my God, did I fall.
- Once we got to know each other better, certain things on him were telling me you're not wrong when you liked him.
- I love to decorate.
I change my living space all the time.
Because you get tired to look at the same things.
- What Blanca calls "home improvements" drives me crazy.
This used to be a nice wood paneling.
One day, I come home and boom.
The walls are this color.
- Doesn't it look beautiful? - I come home These couches are here.
- He never want to change anything.
It's boring, like, the same way all the time.
- You take it upon yourself to change things around.
Why? - This is much better.
You have more space to play the keyboard.
- It's called a "man cave" because it is a man cave.
Your "cave room.
" - It's not that I'm against change, it's just that I would like to be able to have some say in it.
Blanca is very sneaky about her redecorating plans.
- I'm hiding the paint because I don't want Gil to see it until the door is painted.
I'm gonna paint it with my sister.
- I'm here! - Hello! - I am afraid to leave Diana and Blanca alone.
- Ooh, it's bright! What about Gil? - I don't know.
- He'll go crazy.
- That's why you gotta do it fast before he comes.
- Yeah.
If we do it when he's here, of course he's not gonna allow us to do it, you know.
So that's why we have to wait for him to leave.
- See what he says, Diana, when he comes.
Be prepared.
- Oh, my God.
This is not good.
- Why? What did I do? - That is ridiculous.
Please consult me with this stuff before you do it.
- I didn't tell you because I knew you were going to say no.
- It's not that I would say no.
I would maybe say no to this color.
This door looks horrible! - Aw, no.
You like it, you like it.
After your eyes get used to the color, you're gonna say, "guess what, I think it's cool.
" - The only thing that's gonna help my eyes get used to this color is sunglasses; That's it.
- You're not gonna wear sunglasses in the house.
- You're funny, Gil.
You're funny.
- So the issue here is, is there anything in your house that can't use a nice, fresh coat of orange? Judah, what does your house look like? - Uh, well.
It's pretty messy.
Their house is clean, I'll give them that.
- Right.
- But I don't consider that redecorating.
She just, like, moved a keyboard over five feet.
That's not That's just A.
D.
D.
, that's not redecorating.
- No, that's making room for the man cave.
- But that's what I kinda feel like-- there's a little bit of her just not taking him seriously as the husband, or the man.
It's kind of a respect thing also.
- It's called a "man cave" because it is a man cave.
Your "cave room.
" You're not gonna wear sunglasses in the house.
- You're funny.
- I would maybe say no to this color.
This door looks horrible.
- Aw, no.
You like it, you like it.
Her saying "you like it" is like, "you idiot, you idiot.
" - To me, it seems like he's getting teamed up on a little bit.
- Yeah.
- And the whole thing is, you're married, so you should be sharing.
And she's just kinda putting it all on him.
- Yeah.
- So I think there should be more of a, you know, both of them coming together to decide on what to do.
- Yeah.
- Judah, let me tell you something about marriage.
- Please do.
- But this is one particular thing.
This is not--this doesn't embody their marriage.
- No, it was the wall and the door.
That's two things.
- But I'm sure there's things he does I mean, the fact that he has a man cave.
My husband doesn't have a man cave.
- Kind of a man cave.
And he has the-- look at the little skateboard guy that she put up on it.
- That is the wimpiest man cave.
- That's the worst man cave I've ever seen in my life.
- Let's look at the house, just as the house.
Could you live in a house with these colors? This is like pee-wee's playhouse.
- You see on the corner as-- you know, I pay attention to the details.
The top corner of that lamp there is green, so she's probably thinking that the green wall goes with that green-- - that's right.
- The green also matches the pain and fear of defeat in his eyes.
- You like it, you like it.
- I like it, I like it.
- All right, when we come back this whole wall could be lime green because Blanca and Gil Fontes will be right here.
See you in a minute.
- Welcome back to The Marriage Ref.
Now please welcome our next couple.
Gil and Blanca Fontes, everybody! Hey.
Good to see you.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Oh, nice to have you guys here.
You look great.
- Thank you.
But we're having a big problem here.
- I know.
- We got big problems here.
- We need your help.
- Okay.
- We're fighting a lot because he doesn't want me to do anything in the house.
- She--she-- - he doesn't want me to do any decorations.
- She never lets me consult with anything, she never consults with me with anything, and she does what she wants.
- I want to talk with you about it.
And you always say, "no, no, no.
" - I say no to the crazy - All you say is "no.
" - All you do is talk to your sister; That's all you do.
You talk to your sister all the time about it, and you never talk to me.
- You didn't marry a New England woman.
You married a domini-- - we live in New England.
- He married a Dominican woman.
- We live in New England.
- A Dominican woman! - A vibrant Dominican woman.
We like colors.
- You know, that's fine.
- We enjoy everything fresh.
- We bring the colors in.
- No, you don't have any color.
- Absolutely not true.
- You know what, it-- I'm Dominican, and it's true.
- Oh, no! - It's really true.
- Thank you, dah! - That's not true.
- Let me ask you a question, though.
Do you ever ask him? Did you start out trying to ask him? - Absolutely.
- Wait a minute.
Absolutely no.
She did, when we first-- - easy, Gil, let her talk.
- I wanted to do all the decorations together.
I said, "sweetheart, this house is an old-looking house.
We need to redecorate.
" And then he, all of a sudden-- "no, no, no, no, no.
We don't have to spend money, we don't have-- that looks good.
" And I always say, "sweetheart, we gotta put down more touch here.
" - Right.
- To make it look good.
- We chose all the colors.
We did, we had all the colors chosen.
We had nice walls, all color changed.
Then when I go off to work and my sister-in-law comes up, they change the colors.
- Because - But we had them right.
So we had it--all nice, new paint.
- You never wanted to talk about it.
- Look at the way you're dressed! How come I can't get into the apartment? Exactly, it needs a little bit of color.
- Good job, Ali.
And that's what we did.
- I have to say, there are some colors that may take getting used to.
I mean, that lime green wall - It's the worst color that you could possibly have.
- But that is gorgeous! - Well, to us, because we're Dominican.
But not to him.
- It is the absolute worst color you can have.
- Guess what? If he-- - I looked it up on Google.
I looked it up on the Internet.
It's the worst color that you could possibly have in the kitchen.
- If you get this - If you get that.
- You get the wall, too.
Right, guys? - Yes! - Whoo! - Don't let her play with you.
She is a dictator under this charm.
At home, she's a dictator.
Absolutely.
- Hold on.
- All this charm.
- Okay, hold on, hold on.
Will.
- If he came home while you were out with your sister and painted the wall, would you be upset? - No, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't.
- Oh, yes, you would.
- No, because.
- No, no.
See, for example, he had his own paint.
- The only reason I would be mad maybe, will, would be because I'm always open to talk.
But he's not.
- That is not true! - I really don't think that-- - she's always talking.
Like she is now.
- I would not, if he said, "Blanca, let's do this, let's do that, I love that.
" And I said, "oh, okay, sweetheart, let's do it.
Okay, how about this? How about that?" - I think that it's fair-- I mean, because there seems to be two people involved in the actual design.
There's a design team with Blanca and Diana.
And I don't think we can really go forward unless we talk to Diana.
- Oh, my God.
- So please welcome Diana, everybody.
Aah! That's my sister! That's my helper.
That's my savior, Diana.
- All right now, Diana, welcome, welcome.
- Not me, not the husband.
- This is how you feel all the time, isn't it? - Yes, it is, it is.
- Now I'm gonna put up some of your design work.
And walk me through it because I don't really understand all of it.
So let's start with the lime green wall.
Why, girls? Why? - This is very fresh color, I think.
Very refreshing.
- And it's greenish -yellowish, too.
It's kind of a technique, that we mix yellow with green.
This is much better than the brown panel.
- Okay, now how about the other room? We have the-- okay, this room.
You had this room.
- That is my room.
- That was your room.
- That--well, yes.
- That was before.
And then it turned into this.
Now what's that? I have to say, that looks kinda nice.
- It does.
- Because I did it like that.
I changed it! - You changed it? - Yes! Blanca.
Do you have a job? - Yes.
- What do you-- - to be the woman of the house.
- Okay, okay.
- All right, you know what this show is all about? It's taking a situation where there seems like there's no end result, and we end it.
- Right.
- We're gonna go to the final call.
And I'm gonna start with Judah.
Who is right? Blanca or Gil? - I'm gonna go with Gil on this one.
- Yeah.
- Going with Gil.
- Because of the man cave issue.
I think it needs to be a team effort.
- Okay.
Ali, Blanca or Gil? - I'm gonna solve everyone's problems so we can all just go home.
- Yes.
- Gil - Yes! No.
- I'm with Blanca.
I think a woman, as crazy as she may be, should decorate the way she wants.
It makes her happy, and passionate, and full of life.
- Yeah! - But Don't touch Gil's room.
That's all.
- All right.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- So you have one-- you have one - Whoo! - And Gil has one.
And we seem to have a split audience on this.
So we're going to-- - because the house belongs to the woman.
Whoo! - See, right there! Right there! - All right, we're going to a tie breaker, guys.
A tie breaker.
Going to Will.
I.
Am for the tie breaker.
- You're choosing to stress over an issue that is not that important.
So that being said, Blanca is right, right? It's paint.
- Blanca's right, everybody.
Congratulations.
You win.
- Thank you, thank you! - Congratulations.
- And you may be the winner of $25,000 and your own billboard.
And if you win that money, you could buy a lot of paint.
- Oh, yes! - Oh! - A big round of applause for the Fontes, everybody.
Okay, we have to take a quick break.
But before we go, feast your eyes on this.
And now, the Fontes remix.
- I love decorating and I do it when he's not around.
- oh, that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh - You like it.
- uh-huh, uh-huh that's the way - uh-huh, uh-huh.
I like it.
- uh-huh, uh-huh - that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh - You like it.
- uh-huh, uh-huh - He likes it.
He likes it, he likes it.
Coming up next Will.
I.
Am goes country.
Right? That would be the poppin'-est.
- And later, see the world premiere of our brand-new show within a show.
- It's a little something we like to call Wine quiz.
You don't want to miss it.
Stay tuned.
- Welcome back to The Marriage Ref.
All right, let's meet our next couple.
From South Carolina's northern brother, North Carolina, it's Robert and Stephanie Wilson.
- I was in the air force, and so was Bob.
And we worked in the same hospital together.
- I liked her personality, and I thought she was cute.
- Bob looked so nice in his flight suit.
He was a hot commodity on base.
- She was the one person I didn't wanna be without.
- I make him dress up in the flight suit sometimes.
- Owning my own business has always been a dream of mine.
I like all different types of wine, and I've always enjoyed working outside, so I wanted to buy this winery and a vineyard, and it would be a good investment for us.
- He's delusional.
You know, although he thinks he's a farm boy, he's not a farm boy.
- Smells like soil.
- He's never made a glass of wine.
The only thing he's ever done is pour it out of a box.
He's a physician, by trade.
- Well, I don't know a whole lot about it right now except what I've read online, but I mean - Online, there's information about a lot of things.
- Yeah, I'd probably hire some people to help take care of the vineyard, and the land, and stuff like that.
Jimbo is a guy who's been in construction his whole life.
And Eduardo's very good at everything he does.
- I've never grown "grapeses," but I will learn.
And I like to learn a lot of things.
- He does.
He leathings real quick.
- I might as well just go out and hand my money to anybody.
- Anything that needed to be done, the two of those guys could do it.
- I can make it grow.
- He can do it.
- What business have you ran? You never ran a business before.
- When I was in high school, I-- - oh, my God! I ran a business, a lemonade stand.
Does that mean I can go run the winery? No.
- Bob's got a pretty wide mind.
I mean, he's got a lot of ideas.
- I trust Bob as my husband.
But everywhere we go, he's got some idea.
- You know, down at the beach, for instance, I think we're in tremendous need of a water park.
- He's made some silly investments.
- She thought that I was crazy to buy Iraqi dinar.
- That dinar is still sitting in our safety deposit box at the bank.
- I still think that that investment could pan out.
- I always tell the kids, "you know, if anything, you have Iraqi dinar.
" - You know, sometimes, I think he's too intelligent.
- I believe that it's the risk -takers that have gotten us everything that we have in this country.
- I pray every night that someone buys that vineyard.
- Going out on your own, you know, takes a little bit more guts.
- There's not any vines here.
- No guts, no glory.
- I think Mr.
rob can make it happen.
- What do you say? - I think you've lost your mind.
- So the issue here is, has a waiter ever approached your table and said, "we have a nice cabernet from North Carolina"? You gotta dream, right, guys? - Yes.
- Nothing wrong with dreaming.
- Look at the three of us-- a comedian.
- Right.
- A high -fashion lingerie model, and a musician.
- All of us went after a dream that maybe if people had said "no" to - That's true.
- I think he should start a wine company.
She looks like she needs a drink.
She's a little stressed out.
Why not start one up? - If you're gonna start a vineyard, and you don't know anything about it, are these the two guys you want helping you out? - Well, they learn quickly.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
You need a little more on your resume than "he learns quickly.
" - They're very confident.
I believe them.
I think they can do it.
- You think they can do it? - They're a good team.
Look at them.
I think they have a dream, and I think that they should go for it.
- What do you think, will? Have you ever drank wine from North Carolina? - America needs a lot of jobs right now.
- Yeah.
- So whatever it takes.
- No, I'm just saying.
Like, why do we have to import wine from France? Why can't we have wine from North Carolina? - Maybe 'cause it doesn't grow there? - That guy can make it grow there.
- Yes.
- That's the guy to do it.
- Technology nowadays, they can put, like, greenhouses in skyscrapers.
- Really? - Yeah, man.
Technology's crazy right now.
- Wow.
So he doesn't even need to be outside, this guy.
- Boom.
- Boom.
- North Carolina could be the next Napa valley.
Who are we to say? - Is there anything your husband can come up with as an idea, and you would say, "that's crazy"? Or would you support him no matter what? - Everything's a good idea.
- Uh-huh.
- Unless it's illegal.
Or it somehow hurts me.
- Well, maybe that's what she's worried about.
Maybe it's sinking a lot of dough into a winery.
You know, it takes a long time-- - oh, you know what, you gotta roll the dice.
- You gotta roll the dice.
- You gotta gamble in life.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Just gotta go for it? - Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
If George came home and said, "I'm giving up being an abc anchor.
I'm gonna play the banjo.
" - Right.
- You know, maybe - You'd be like, "go for it?" - No, no, no.
He'd be single playing the banjo.
- But you know what, if he played the banjo and put out an album, I'd buy it.
I would buy that banjo album.
- Really? - I definitely would.
- I mean, seriously.
Because, like, banjo Like, okay Garth Brooks-- Garth Brooks, right? Garth Brooks plays the heck out of an acoustic guitar, right? - Right.
- Ray Charles played the hell outta some pianos.
- True.
- You ain't really seen no banjo.
That's like an open void right in that spot.
Come in the marketplace rockin' the banjo, like, on some Jimi Hendrix stuff.
Like Right? That would be the poppin'-est.
Boom.
- And I'm in the front row.
- Wow, I don't think we've figured out their problem, but we have a new business plan.
All right.
We'll take a quick break.
When we come back, we'll pop open a box of wine and toast the arrival of the Wilsons.
- Welcome back to The Marriage Ref.
Please welcome Robert and Stephanie Wilson.
Hey, guys.
Welcome.
Thanks for being here, guys.
Thank you.
- You guys look great.
- Thanks.
- Are you drunk? - No.
Not yet.
- Not yet? Do you drink wine every day? - No, just occasionally.
- Oh.
And what made you think, "you know what, I wanna start growing this stuff?" - I don't know, I just always had an interest in the social side of, you know, growing the grapes, and making the wine - That sounds nice.
Why wouldn't you wanna do that? - We can't afford it.
- What do you mean? - You know, I've tried to tell Bob-- I don't think he realizes our country's in a recession.
- Oh, you don't know that, Bob? - I kn-- I know we're in a recession.
And that's part of the reason this winery's such a good deal.
It's in foreclosure, you know.
- Oh, really? - There's something, though, I wanna add that the two things people do during a recession Are go to the movies and drink.
So if you can get any of these grapes to actually grow - Right.
- You never know.
You could use the sorrow of our country-- The muscadine grape It is one of the best-growing grapes in the nation.
- What grape is it, Bob? - It's the muscadine grape.
- Muscadine.
- It's native to North Carolina, it's a sweet grape, it's the highest grape in flavonoids-- which is the ones that are good for your-- - I love flavonoids.
- Good for the health.
- Yeah.
- Good for the health, yeah.
- I have to say, like, you have done some research.
And to be fair, you've assembled a team to help you out.
And we've actually brought part of your team here.
- And we wanna put him to the test, so please welcome Jimbo, everybody.
All right! - Good to see you, Jimbo.
- Good to see you.
- All right.
You feel okay? - Yeah.
- All right, great.
- I feel great.
- We're gonna ask you some questions to test your wine knowledge.
- All right.
- And it's a little something we like to call Wine quiz! Let's get started.
- Okay.
Question number one.
What is the difference between red wine And white wine? - Uh, I'll probably have to say the color.
- Actually, you're right.
It is the color.
- Good deal, good deal, good deal.
- Okay.
Question number two.
How many gallons of wine are produced from an acre of grapes? - Uh - How many gallons? - 400.
- Ooh, close.
- Halfway there.
- Halfway there.
Good point, Jimbo.
Good point.
- Next question.
In order to thrive during fermentation, a grape's naturally occurring yeast needs a continuous supply of carbon, nitrogen, sulfur, and what? - Uh, probably a little Jimbo and Bob in it, I guess.
I don't know.
- A little Jimbo and Bob.
- Yeah.
- You're right.
You got two out of three, and that proves that you know just as much about wine as anybody in this studio.
So congratulations, Jimbo.
Here is your prize, a 2011 prom night zinfandel.
- All right! - All right.
Thank you very much.
- A big round of applause for Jimbo, everybody.
Thank you, Jimbo.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you for playing Wine quiz! Well, he knows-- he knows some of it.
You think he's a world champion? - Well, he might be a world champion in the making.
I think that he still needs some training to do.
- Right.
- Um, you should maybe start a little winery in your backyard.
And actually do a little wine before you move to the big yard.
- What do you mean, like make one bottle of wine? - Make a couple wines.
- Yeah, you know, you have a backyard.
- Start with a cup of wine.
- He started a garden this year in our backyard.
And we ended up reaping six jalapeno peppers, and a-- - all right, all right.
- And a $300 water bill because he kept on forgetting to turn off the sprinkler.
- All right, I think it's time to make the call.
Judah, if you were gonna make the call here-- - if I'm gonna make the call here? - Who is right and who is wrong? Robert or Stephanie? - I am gonna go with the wife on this one because I think you need to work your plan out a little more first.
- All right, so it's one for Stephanie, Bob.
- When I saw the video, I was with Bob.
I was all about dreams.
But you know what threw me? The jalapeno peppers.
If he can't even grow a few vegetables, how is he gonna grow a vineyard? I'm with the wife.
- Honey, I love you.
- Yeah.
Will? - Stephanie.
- Stephanie.
Clean sweep for Stephanie.
Congratulations, Stephanie.
You win.
- Thank you! Whoo, whoo, whoo! - Sorry, Bob.
And you may be the winner of $25,000 and your very own billboard.
A big round of applause for the Wilsons, everybody.
All right, we have to take a quick break, but when we come back, we'll put an end to this nail-biter and find out who is the rightest of the right.
Come on back.
Coming up next Who will win $25,000 and Judah Friedlander's heart? - First of all, you ladies all look really hot.
SoAwesome.
- They're all married.
- I know, but nevertheless.
Announcer someone's face will end up on this billboard.
Find out who's the rightest when we come back.
- All right, we're back with tonight's finalists.
And they're all hoping to be the rightest of the right, and the winner of $25,000 and their own billboard.
Here's a reminder of the arguments they've won tonight.
Karen Lange with the fumbled Sundays.
- Fantasy football's a wicked good time to me.
- To me, fantasy football is just dumb.
A guy gets injured and Victor acts like I punched his mother in the face.
- 6 for 138 and a touchdown, negative ten points right there.
Dominated.
- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
- Karen, why are you the rightest? - I'm the rightest because, like anybody else, I'm just looking to have family time and husband time and, you know, be number one in my husband's life.
And not come second to something that's not real.
- Oh, very good.
Blanca Fontes with the paint wall fight.
- What Blanca calls "home improvements" drives me crazy.
This is not good.
This is--this is not good.
- After your eyes get used to the color, you're gonna say, "guess what, I think it's cool.
" - Blanca, why are you the rightest? - I'm the rightest because I have to work hard to get my house a homey, homey home.
Having to work hard.
- What up, homey? - And Stephanie Wilson with the grape expectations.
- Well, I don't know a whole lot about it right now, except what I've read online.
- I've never grown "grapeses," but I will learn.
And I like to learn a lot of things.
- He does.
He learns things real quick.
- No guts, no glory.
- I think you've lost your mind.
- All right, Stephanie, why are you the rightest? - I'm the rightest of the right because I married a doctor Wilson, not a farmer Wilson.
All right, audience, the time has come so please vote now.
Now, you guys are not voting, but who are you guys rooting for? Who would you like to see be the rightest? Ali? - All I can say is six jalapenos.
That's all I can say.
I know.
Even I can grow jalapenos.
Will.
I.
Am.
You're gonna say you love all of them, I know it.
- I do.
I really do.
But Blanca's passion to make the house a homey, homey, homey Blanca.
- Blanca.
How about you, Judah? - Thank you, will.
- First of all, you ladies all look really hot.
SoAwesome.
But I-- - Judah, they're all married.
- I know, but nevertheless.
They look hot.
It's a fact.
I am gonna go-- it's a tough call, but I'm gonna go with Stephanie.
- With Stephanie, wow.
Two for Stephanie.
Okay, the results are in.
It's time to find out who will be the rightest.
In third place, with the fewest votes, not the winner of $25,000 or their own billboard Karen Lange.
- Thank you.
- A big round of applause for Karen, everybody.
Thank you, Karen.
- All right, now it's down to Blanca and Stephanie.
One of them will win $25,000 and their own billboard.
And the other Gets nothing.
The rightest of the right, the winner of $25,000 and their own billboard, is Stephanie Wilson! - Sorry, Blanca.
All right, let's get Bob out here.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Come on out, Bob.
All right, Stephanie, you just won $25,000 But Bob, only you can make it official, so let's hear you say it.
You're right, honey.
Congratulations.
And here's what your billboard is going to look like.
Ah! - Thank our panel-- Judah Friedlander, Ali Wentworth, and Will.
I.
Am.
- Stephanie Wilson is right.
- Here, have your moment in the sun, baby.
- I won.
Why don't you go whine about it now? All couples tonight will receive a six-night all-inclusive stay in a waterfront unit at Verandah resort and spa, Antigua.
Airfare furnished by Orbitz.
- Keep fighting, America.
Good night.