True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e08 Episode Script
212 - True Date
Previously on True jackson, vp Jimmy.
I'm sorry about that.
I shouldn't be jumping Into your arms like that.
It's okay.
It's not okay.
I mean, we're just friends.
True.
Yes? I don't wanna be Just friends.
Oh.
True jackson, vp Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
Jimmy, jimmy, jimmy.
Jimmy! Hey, true.
How's it going? Good.
What's all the junk In the reception area? We got pranked by Simon christina last night.
He filled the reception area With mannequins and hung A bunch of purple drapery.
Uncle max hates Purple drapery.
Everyone knows that.
SoPretty fun dance The other night.
Yeah, pretty fun.
Punch was good.
Yeah.
Music was kickin'.
Yeah.
And then there was that part Where you said you wanted to be More than friends.
Remember that part? Yeah.
About that, I was thinking Maybe we could get something To eat sometime.
Oh, I don't know, But I'm free tonight! Awesome, so am I.
Then, it's a date? It's a date so! Where do you wanna go? I was thinking We'd hit whiskers.
Whiskers? You know, that new Cat-theme restaurant.
What do you do, Drink from saucers? Uh-huh.
And sit on scratching posts While cats rub their faces Against your legs.
And once an hour they lower An enormous ball of yarn From the ceiling.
The place goes crazy.
Sounds great.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Here's your mail.
Is this my new trampoline? Yep.
I love trampolines.
When I was a kid, My brother and I invented a game Called basketleen.
It's a combination Of trampoline basketball.
Basket weaving.
Although now that you say it, Basketball would have been Pretty cool too.
Hey, true, staff meeting In five minutes.
How'd it go? Great.
Jimmy asked me out on a date.
Not even! I know, right? Wow, you and jimmy, More than just friends.
That's huge.
I know.
I just heard the news.
I've wished for this My whole life.
You wished jimmy and I Would go on a date? What? No.
I wished I'd get An audition to be In the junior magicians' club.
The j.
M.
C.
, y'all! What's in the box? Brand-new trampoline.
I know you love jumping.
Oh, you knows it.
Nice give.
This one's a keeper.
As you can see by this chart, We've made significant gains In our third carrot.
Did he just say carrot? However, our couture line Has experienced A decribbitz in sales.
Decribbitz?! This report is riddled With typos and made-up words.
Uh, max, I believe I can offer an explanation.
Ella in accounting broke up With jose in proofreading.
That would explain Why our expansion has doopled In foreign meerkats.
I was under the impression We had an office No-dating policy.
I don't believe so.
Yes.
We instituted it After you asked that intern To load boxes into your car And then took him to mexico.
I had absolutely no idea He'd fallen into the trunk.
And besides, I don't believe A memo ever went out.
Maybe because benita in legal Started dating jim in memos.
That's it! Effective immediately, All employees are banned From dating each other.
Mr.
Madigan, I'm just a kid, But it seems like A company can't tell you Who we can and can't date.
Funny you mention that, true.
Yes, we can.
And if anyone breaks the rule, They will be fired.
Now, to the next order Of business, Our new line of evening goons.
Aah! This is ridiculous! Meeting adjourned.
Hey, true, I can't wait for our date.
Date nut bread In the break room? I love date nut bread.
Thanks for the tip, co-worker.
â« from my head to my toes â« â« it's all real and you know â« â« fresh and cool â« â« it's just what I do â« â« t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p â« â« working at a grown-up job â« â« I never really knew â« â« I could work this hard â« â« just us t to sit at home â« â« and watch tv â« â« now I'm in an office â« â« as the new vp â« â« I'm always setting trends â« â« with my two best friends â« â« when things get out of hand â« â« we have a plan â« â« we're just messin' around â« â« and we're makin' new ground â« â« for the whole wide world â« â« to see â« â« if you see us in town â« â« you know it's goin' down â« â« 'cause I'm the new vp â« okay, we can't let anyone Find out we're going to dinner.
Uncle max will fire us.
I know.
Mail.
Ahem, mail.
So what are we gonna do? We should go To a secret place.
Yeah, but where? A secret place.
It's a restaurant On 94th street.
Don't look for a sign Above the door Or a door.
Hey, true, here's the dresses For your fashion-related Work function.
They're really for your date.
That was just code.
I know, I cracked that code When I saw you Getting all winky.
These are pretty nice.
Yeah, the blue one says, "hey, what's up?" And the red one's all, "you wanna dance?" And the black one says, "fix me.
" fix me? The zipper's broken.
There's a note on the back.
I think I'll go With the red one.
Who wants to see a trick? If it involves you Making nasty sounds With your hand and your armpit, We have already seen it.
It does not, Although that remains a classic.
Presto brand magic handcuffs.
Only 49 cents.
Where'd you get them? That place is the worst.
My mom once bought A knock-off valentine mcdougal T-shirt there.
It said "valenpine mcshmougal.
" still, you can get Some great bargains.
Check out my new roller skates.
Those are sneakers.
Yeah, the wheels fell off.
That reminds me.
Did you read that chapter For history class? How does that remind you Of history class? We're studying History's greatest morons.
Ha ha, good one.
No, we really are.
This week's chapter is On count frederick the imbecile.
He tried to marry a chicken.
I haven't read That chapter yet 'cause I've been so busy With work.
I'll get to it Right after my date.
Date? Date nut bread.
I was talking about Date nut bread In the break room.
I looked in the break room.
There was no date nut bread.
Did you look In the break room? I just said I did.
Anyway, the factory is ready For your final fabric approval.
That's today? Can you do it for me? As much as I'd love To do your work, I'm too busy planning my wedding To peru's greatest shortstop, Brock champion.
Why can't you do it? Because I'm doing something.
What? Um, nothing.
Just to recap, You can't go to the factory Because you're too busy Not doing anything.
Oh, that's correct.
Makes sense to me.
Me too.
Have fun at the factory, yes? Lulu, can you come To the factory with me Just in case There's a lot of paperwork.
And, ryan, tell jimmy I'll meet him at a secret place.
Where? A secret place.
Where? The restaurant's called A secret place.
Oh, I've been there.
It was awful.
Lulu! No, it used to be Called awful.
I wonder why they Changed the name? Hey, jimmy, True needs to meet you At a secret place.
It's a restaurant.
I know.
Thanks.
Wow, nice tie.
It's the madigan First date tie.
It's been in our family For seven generations.
I think there's a little Ketchup on it.
Nope, that's blood From the civil war.
You wanna see a magic trick? I got a big audition To be in the j.
M.
C.
I need to know If this trick is convincing.
Okay, make it quick.
I'm in a hurry.
Good evening, Ladies and gentlemen, How are we all doing tonight? Terrific.
Legend has it That a wizard named elgor pick it up.
Abracadabra alan kazam! Pretty cool.
But what's the trick? How'd you do that? Magic, my friend.
All right.
Now where's the key? Oh, there is no key.
You just tug on 'em And they open.
Seriously? Not the tie, not the tie.
Okay, you go that way, I'll go this way.
Ooh! So that's why They were 49 cents.
I'm gonna kill you.
Relax.
We'll just go back to the store And have them free us Before your date.
Okay.
Let me just hit the can.
What are you planning On doing there? You're not gonna like it.
Thanks for coming With me, lulu.
No problem.
Even though we're in a hurry, We should take our time Picking out just The right fabric, These things can't be rushed.
The red one, let's go.
Hello, ladies.
Mr.
Madigan?! How's the fabric approval Going? Great.
I just finished.
Oh, good.
Well, as long as you're here, You can help me pick out buttons For a blazer I've been working on.
We'd love to.
These are my top 1,000.
You said what now? I'm sorry.
Are you in a hurry? Kind of.
Lulu and I are just headed out To get some dinner.
Oh, fabulous, I'll come with.
Shouldn't you go home And have dinner with your wife? Well, doris is spending Another night out With the girls.
It's a little annoying, But she's just too cute To get mad at.
Now, where are we going For dinner? I don't think you'd like Where we're going.
Sure, I would.
That new place, whiskers, The cat restaurant.
I'm sorry, It almost sounded like You said "cat restaurant.
" it's kind of a gimmick.
They have a hundred cats Running around, Climbing all over your food.
You drink from saucers.
Sweet caesar's bucket.
Sounds gross, right? No.
It sounds fantastic.
I've always wanted to eat Like a cat.
I'll get my coat.
We'll wait right here.
Is there a reason you climbed Over the turnstile Instead of paying? No one pays for the subway.
It's just a suggested donation, Like when you go to a museum Or the movies.
If we weren't in such a hurry I'd explain all the things wrong With that sentence.
Take it easy.
What's the worst That could happen? Hold it right there.
Let me handle this.
I wish you wouldn't.
Thought you could get away Without paying, huh? Not at all.
My friend paid And since we're essentially One person, We only have to pay one fare.
I never thought about it Like that.
You can go.
Really? No.
I'm taking you both downtown.
Great.
Can this day Get any worse? Ooh, I gotta hit the can Before we go.
You don't think it was wrong We ditched mr.
Madigan, do you? Of course I do.
That was not the answer I was looking for.
I mean, not at all.
Right now the most important Thing is to get you To your date with jimmy.
Still, fefeel kinda bad.
Poor mr.
Madigan, All alone in the factory, Wondering where we went.
Ah! There you girls are.
Now, who's ready to go To whiskers? I know I am.
Purr.
I don't know if I can wait For the restaurant.
I'm really hungry for a pretzel.
There's a pretzel stand Upstairs.
Really? You'll get one for me? I didn't say that, but okay.
Hello? Is anybody here? Doris? Where is everyone? The workday is over, doris.
Feel free to mention to max I was working late, You know, if it comes up In conversation.
It won't.
Where's max? He's at the factory Looking at buttons.
Who's buttons? I'll kill her! No, I mean actual buttons.
Oh.
What are you doing here, Doris? I brought max a gift.
Guess where it is? I'm guessing there.
You guessed right.
I've been pretending To go out with my girlfriends While I take A cheese sculpting class.
You and max seem like A really happy couple.
Can I ask you About married life? Oh, phew, it's not all It's cracked up to be.
Really? Because I'm getting married.
Oh, thank goodness, Marriage is amazing.
I only said it was bad Because I thought You were going to be alone For the rest of your life.
Yes, well, anyway I used to cry myself to sleep Thinking about you.
A sad, sad spinster, Sitting alone On a rocking chair, Waving to no one.
Anyway.
Oh, I find that I have Some concerns about the wedding.
And I thought maybe you could Help put me at ease.
Of course.
Now, just to be clear, This man you're marrying, He's real? Yes! Sir, I know What my friend did was wrong And he feels bad about it.
No, I don't.
If we weren't attached To each other, I'd throw him onto the tracks.
That's a huge infraction.
I'd have to write you up For that.
I was wondering if you could Look the other way Just this one time, because If I go downtown with you, I'm gonna disappoint A very special girl.
Tonight's our first date.
First date, huh? I remember my first date With alison mclaney.
You know her? We don't even know you.
Right.
Anyway, I knew Alison loved to ice skate, But I didn't know how.
So for the month Leading up to our first date, I took skating lessons, Six hours a day, Seven days a week.
And you know what happened? You had a great first date? No, I got recruited By the new jersey devils.
Come on, we're gonna get To that first date.
Wait, what do you mean, we? Why don't you just let us go? Funny story, I can't find The key to my cuffs.
This doesn't feel right.
Are you worried About your date? No, I just feel bad about Ditching mr.
Madigan again.
We had to.
Jimmy's waiting for you At the restaurant.
Yeah, you're right.
But still, I just hate Picturing my boss Standing on that platform, Sad and confused.
Hey, hey, hey.
I didn't know If you wanted mustard On your pretzel, So I got you one of each.
Great.
What are we gonna do now? As soon as we get To the next station, We'll try to lose him In the crowd.
Good plan.
Nothing's keeping me From my dateitith jimmy.
We're not going anywhere, Folks.
There seems to be a bear On the tracks.
Great balls of fire, That's a rat! You people in the first car Are gonna wanna see this thing.
I don't get any reception Down here.
If I don't get To the restaurant by 8:00, Jimmy's gonna think I stood him up.
I've got to say, that really Is an inordinately large rodent.
His tail looks like a jump rope.
Do you know how bad it is To start a relationship By missing the first date? This could doom the whole deal.
You know what you have to do? You have to will this train To start.
Close your eyes and will it.
Do you think that'll work? I do.
Did I do it? What was that sound? That rat's trying To pry open the door With a metal pipe.
I'm starting to get A bad feeling about this.
Cheer up.
How does the old expression go? Better late than never.
Yeah, better late than never, Not better late And handcuffed to two dudes.
I said I was sorry.
He gets like this sometimes.
Excuse me, sir, Are you a magician? Yes, I am.
It's pretty impressive.
Well, if you thought That was impressive, What do you think of this? Kind of the same trick, But still pretty cool.
Excuse me, do you know How to get these handcuffs off? Yes, you just pull them And they release.
Oh, we already tried that.
Hmm, what are those, prestos? They were recalled.
The only thing that'll go Through those is a hatchet.
You don't have one Up your sleeve, do you? Let me check.
This is hopeless.
Hopelessly romantic.
This is a story You're gonna tell Your great-great-grandkids.
Hey, it's me again.
The good news is the rat Appears to be losing interest, But unfortunately our brakes Are locked.
Must have happened When I was panicking And randomly hitting buttons On the control panel.
That's odd.
Why didn't you just throw The manual override switch? I don't know what that is.
I'm sort of an amateur Train enthusiast.
I'll go talk to him.
You know what's weird? That a huge rat stopped A new york city train? No, I think that nun Is wearing boxing gloves.
Just like that puppet.
We're moving.
I can't believe We're really moving.
You're gonna make your date.
This is your conductor, Max madigan.
Next stop, times square! See? You made it on time.
Excited? Yeah, but I can't help But feel bad about Ditching mr.
Madigan.
Yoo-hoo! Over here.
Oh, come on! What are you doing here, Mr.
Madigan? I couldn't find That cat restaurant, So I just popped Into this place.
How's that for coincidence? You know what would be An even bigger coincidence? If someone else we knew Walked in, Like, I don't know, jimmy.
Jimmy? Yeah, what if he walked in? That would be nuts.
Nuts, indeed.
Something odd is going on here.
Odd? You and jimmy aren't trying To go on a date, are you? A date? Where would you get that? I'm here with you and lulu, And jimmy's with ryan And that guy.
Officer jake hooley.
It just seems suspicious That you would mention jimmy And then a moment later, He'd walk in, Even if he is with ryan And that guy.
Officer jake hooley.
We're not on a date, Uncle max.
I'm just out with my buddies, Taking advantage of this Restaurant's three-for-one deal.
Then why are you wearing The madigan dating tie? This isn't the madigan Dating tie.
Sure it is.
It has civil war ketchup on it.
Well, since we're all here, Do you guys wanna sit with us? Sounds great.
Are those presto brand Handcuffs? I used to own a pair of those.
Did they work? No.
I spent the better part Of last winter Cuffed to my radiator.
I survived off a single sleeve Of crackers.
I lost 40 pounds.
Can I start you folks With something? Yeah, we'd like A plate of nachos, Some seltzer water, And a hatchet.
One number six, coming up.
Brock wants a baseball theme For the wedding, And I was thinking More along the lines Of no baseball theme whatsoever.
Amanda, weddings are made up Of ideas that are different, But blend together.
It's like he's peanut butter And you're sardines.
Do you understand? Yeah.
No.
Two things that don't sound Like they're gonna taste Good together, But then once you try them, It's all you ever want to eat For the rest of your life.
Are you saying That's all you eat, Peanut butter and sardines? Uh-huh, and cheese.
Oh, this is good.
Cheese brain? Mm-mm.
You must.
I'll pass.
Okay.
Thanks for dinner, uncle max.
And you were right.
The sweetheart dessert for two Was much better split six ways.
I guess I'll be heading home.
I'm going that direction.
I'll walk you.
That'd be great.
I need to walk off dinner.
I'll come with.
I just have to wash my hands.
We're finally alone.
That had to have been The world's worst first date.
I thought my parents' First date was bad.
They got stuck on top Of a ferris wheel And my mom was all, "climb down and save us, larry!" That was the night My dad broke both his legs.
We can still Turn this night around.
You wanna go to happyberry? I should probably get home.
I've got school tomorrow.
Oh, no.
I still have A whole chapter to read.
Oh, yeah, and I have to Get back to the office And finish the mail run I skipped 'cause I was Getting ready for tonight.
This has been the most Exhausting night of my life.
True.
Yes? Oh, no, I was agreeing.
I should have just said "yeah.
" Sorry.
We can try again tomorrow night.
Jimmy, I don't know If I'm ready to do this.
And I like you too much To mess up what we could have Because I couldn't give us 100%.
Then maybe we should wait.
You know, until a better time.
Is that okay with you? Actually, I'm kind of relieved.
My stomach's been In knots all day About lying to uncle max.
Yeah, it's pretty amazing We were able to fool him.
Hi, kids.
You two aren't on a date, Are you? No, we're just friends.
Good friends.
Well, this has been A fun night.
Okay, okay, okay, Before we play our first game Of basketleen, I wanna thank jimmy For weaving the basket.
Ooh.
Thank you.
Kids, have you seen max? No.
And what are you wearing? You like it? I'm just playing With some notions For my wedding dress.
We're thinking Of an upscale baseball theme.
What are you serving, Hot dogs and caviar? Now we are.
Someone write that down.
You don't want us To be bridesmaids, do you? Ha! [snorts.]
of course not.
Unless you want to.
We'd love to.
I don't want to brag, But my head is delicious.
Here, have the rest.
True, did you spend Company money To buy a trampoline? Yes.
Great idea! I want one for my office.
Now, let me show you kids The moves that got me onto
I'm sorry about that.
I shouldn't be jumping Into your arms like that.
It's okay.
It's not okay.
I mean, we're just friends.
True.
Yes? I don't wanna be Just friends.
Oh.
True jackson, vp Was filmed in front Of a live studio audience.
Jimmy, jimmy, jimmy.
Jimmy! Hey, true.
How's it going? Good.
What's all the junk In the reception area? We got pranked by Simon christina last night.
He filled the reception area With mannequins and hung A bunch of purple drapery.
Uncle max hates Purple drapery.
Everyone knows that.
SoPretty fun dance The other night.
Yeah, pretty fun.
Punch was good.
Yeah.
Music was kickin'.
Yeah.
And then there was that part Where you said you wanted to be More than friends.
Remember that part? Yeah.
About that, I was thinking Maybe we could get something To eat sometime.
Oh, I don't know, But I'm free tonight! Awesome, so am I.
Then, it's a date? It's a date so! Where do you wanna go? I was thinking We'd hit whiskers.
Whiskers? You know, that new Cat-theme restaurant.
What do you do, Drink from saucers? Uh-huh.
And sit on scratching posts While cats rub their faces Against your legs.
And once an hour they lower An enormous ball of yarn From the ceiling.
The place goes crazy.
Sounds great.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Here's your mail.
Is this my new trampoline? Yep.
I love trampolines.
When I was a kid, My brother and I invented a game Called basketleen.
It's a combination Of trampoline basketball.
Basket weaving.
Although now that you say it, Basketball would have been Pretty cool too.
Hey, true, staff meeting In five minutes.
How'd it go? Great.
Jimmy asked me out on a date.
Not even! I know, right? Wow, you and jimmy, More than just friends.
That's huge.
I know.
I just heard the news.
I've wished for this My whole life.
You wished jimmy and I Would go on a date? What? No.
I wished I'd get An audition to be In the junior magicians' club.
The j.
M.
C.
, y'all! What's in the box? Brand-new trampoline.
I know you love jumping.
Oh, you knows it.
Nice give.
This one's a keeper.
As you can see by this chart, We've made significant gains In our third carrot.
Did he just say carrot? However, our couture line Has experienced A decribbitz in sales.
Decribbitz?! This report is riddled With typos and made-up words.
Uh, max, I believe I can offer an explanation.
Ella in accounting broke up With jose in proofreading.
That would explain Why our expansion has doopled In foreign meerkats.
I was under the impression We had an office No-dating policy.
I don't believe so.
Yes.
We instituted it After you asked that intern To load boxes into your car And then took him to mexico.
I had absolutely no idea He'd fallen into the trunk.
And besides, I don't believe A memo ever went out.
Maybe because benita in legal Started dating jim in memos.
That's it! Effective immediately, All employees are banned From dating each other.
Mr.
Madigan, I'm just a kid, But it seems like A company can't tell you Who we can and can't date.
Funny you mention that, true.
Yes, we can.
And if anyone breaks the rule, They will be fired.
Now, to the next order Of business, Our new line of evening goons.
Aah! This is ridiculous! Meeting adjourned.
Hey, true, I can't wait for our date.
Date nut bread In the break room? I love date nut bread.
Thanks for the tip, co-worker.
â« from my head to my toes â« â« it's all real and you know â« â« fresh and cool â« â« it's just what I do â« â« t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p â« â« working at a grown-up job â« â« I never really knew â« â« I could work this hard â« â« just us t to sit at home â« â« and watch tv â« â« now I'm in an office â« â« as the new vp â« â« I'm always setting trends â« â« with my two best friends â« â« when things get out of hand â« â« we have a plan â« â« we're just messin' around â« â« and we're makin' new ground â« â« for the whole wide world â« â« to see â« â« if you see us in town â« â« you know it's goin' down â« â« 'cause I'm the new vp â« okay, we can't let anyone Find out we're going to dinner.
Uncle max will fire us.
I know.
Mail.
Ahem, mail.
So what are we gonna do? We should go To a secret place.
Yeah, but where? A secret place.
It's a restaurant On 94th street.
Don't look for a sign Above the door Or a door.
Hey, true, here's the dresses For your fashion-related Work function.
They're really for your date.
That was just code.
I know, I cracked that code When I saw you Getting all winky.
These are pretty nice.
Yeah, the blue one says, "hey, what's up?" And the red one's all, "you wanna dance?" And the black one says, "fix me.
" fix me? The zipper's broken.
There's a note on the back.
I think I'll go With the red one.
Who wants to see a trick? If it involves you Making nasty sounds With your hand and your armpit, We have already seen it.
It does not, Although that remains a classic.
Presto brand magic handcuffs.
Only 49 cents.
Where'd you get them? That place is the worst.
My mom once bought A knock-off valentine mcdougal T-shirt there.
It said "valenpine mcshmougal.
" still, you can get Some great bargains.
Check out my new roller skates.
Those are sneakers.
Yeah, the wheels fell off.
That reminds me.
Did you read that chapter For history class? How does that remind you Of history class? We're studying History's greatest morons.
Ha ha, good one.
No, we really are.
This week's chapter is On count frederick the imbecile.
He tried to marry a chicken.
I haven't read That chapter yet 'cause I've been so busy With work.
I'll get to it Right after my date.
Date? Date nut bread.
I was talking about Date nut bread In the break room.
I looked in the break room.
There was no date nut bread.
Did you look In the break room? I just said I did.
Anyway, the factory is ready For your final fabric approval.
That's today? Can you do it for me? As much as I'd love To do your work, I'm too busy planning my wedding To peru's greatest shortstop, Brock champion.
Why can't you do it? Because I'm doing something.
What? Um, nothing.
Just to recap, You can't go to the factory Because you're too busy Not doing anything.
Oh, that's correct.
Makes sense to me.
Me too.
Have fun at the factory, yes? Lulu, can you come To the factory with me Just in case There's a lot of paperwork.
And, ryan, tell jimmy I'll meet him at a secret place.
Where? A secret place.
Where? The restaurant's called A secret place.
Oh, I've been there.
It was awful.
Lulu! No, it used to be Called awful.
I wonder why they Changed the name? Hey, jimmy, True needs to meet you At a secret place.
It's a restaurant.
I know.
Thanks.
Wow, nice tie.
It's the madigan First date tie.
It's been in our family For seven generations.
I think there's a little Ketchup on it.
Nope, that's blood From the civil war.
You wanna see a magic trick? I got a big audition To be in the j.
M.
C.
I need to know If this trick is convincing.
Okay, make it quick.
I'm in a hurry.
Good evening, Ladies and gentlemen, How are we all doing tonight? Terrific.
Legend has it That a wizard named elgor pick it up.
Abracadabra alan kazam! Pretty cool.
But what's the trick? How'd you do that? Magic, my friend.
All right.
Now where's the key? Oh, there is no key.
You just tug on 'em And they open.
Seriously? Not the tie, not the tie.
Okay, you go that way, I'll go this way.
Ooh! So that's why They were 49 cents.
I'm gonna kill you.
Relax.
We'll just go back to the store And have them free us Before your date.
Okay.
Let me just hit the can.
What are you planning On doing there? You're not gonna like it.
Thanks for coming With me, lulu.
No problem.
Even though we're in a hurry, We should take our time Picking out just The right fabric, These things can't be rushed.
The red one, let's go.
Hello, ladies.
Mr.
Madigan?! How's the fabric approval Going? Great.
I just finished.
Oh, good.
Well, as long as you're here, You can help me pick out buttons For a blazer I've been working on.
We'd love to.
These are my top 1,000.
You said what now? I'm sorry.
Are you in a hurry? Kind of.
Lulu and I are just headed out To get some dinner.
Oh, fabulous, I'll come with.
Shouldn't you go home And have dinner with your wife? Well, doris is spending Another night out With the girls.
It's a little annoying, But she's just too cute To get mad at.
Now, where are we going For dinner? I don't think you'd like Where we're going.
Sure, I would.
That new place, whiskers, The cat restaurant.
I'm sorry, It almost sounded like You said "cat restaurant.
" it's kind of a gimmick.
They have a hundred cats Running around, Climbing all over your food.
You drink from saucers.
Sweet caesar's bucket.
Sounds gross, right? No.
It sounds fantastic.
I've always wanted to eat Like a cat.
I'll get my coat.
We'll wait right here.
Is there a reason you climbed Over the turnstile Instead of paying? No one pays for the subway.
It's just a suggested donation, Like when you go to a museum Or the movies.
If we weren't in such a hurry I'd explain all the things wrong With that sentence.
Take it easy.
What's the worst That could happen? Hold it right there.
Let me handle this.
I wish you wouldn't.
Thought you could get away Without paying, huh? Not at all.
My friend paid And since we're essentially One person, We only have to pay one fare.
I never thought about it Like that.
You can go.
Really? No.
I'm taking you both downtown.
Great.
Can this day Get any worse? Ooh, I gotta hit the can Before we go.
You don't think it was wrong We ditched mr.
Madigan, do you? Of course I do.
That was not the answer I was looking for.
I mean, not at all.
Right now the most important Thing is to get you To your date with jimmy.
Still, fefeel kinda bad.
Poor mr.
Madigan, All alone in the factory, Wondering where we went.
Ah! There you girls are.
Now, who's ready to go To whiskers? I know I am.
Purr.
I don't know if I can wait For the restaurant.
I'm really hungry for a pretzel.
There's a pretzel stand Upstairs.
Really? You'll get one for me? I didn't say that, but okay.
Hello? Is anybody here? Doris? Where is everyone? The workday is over, doris.
Feel free to mention to max I was working late, You know, if it comes up In conversation.
It won't.
Where's max? He's at the factory Looking at buttons.
Who's buttons? I'll kill her! No, I mean actual buttons.
Oh.
What are you doing here, Doris? I brought max a gift.
Guess where it is? I'm guessing there.
You guessed right.
I've been pretending To go out with my girlfriends While I take A cheese sculpting class.
You and max seem like A really happy couple.
Can I ask you About married life? Oh, phew, it's not all It's cracked up to be.
Really? Because I'm getting married.
Oh, thank goodness, Marriage is amazing.
I only said it was bad Because I thought You were going to be alone For the rest of your life.
Yes, well, anyway I used to cry myself to sleep Thinking about you.
A sad, sad spinster, Sitting alone On a rocking chair, Waving to no one.
Anyway.
Oh, I find that I have Some concerns about the wedding.
And I thought maybe you could Help put me at ease.
Of course.
Now, just to be clear, This man you're marrying, He's real? Yes! Sir, I know What my friend did was wrong And he feels bad about it.
No, I don't.
If we weren't attached To each other, I'd throw him onto the tracks.
That's a huge infraction.
I'd have to write you up For that.
I was wondering if you could Look the other way Just this one time, because If I go downtown with you, I'm gonna disappoint A very special girl.
Tonight's our first date.
First date, huh? I remember my first date With alison mclaney.
You know her? We don't even know you.
Right.
Anyway, I knew Alison loved to ice skate, But I didn't know how.
So for the month Leading up to our first date, I took skating lessons, Six hours a day, Seven days a week.
And you know what happened? You had a great first date? No, I got recruited By the new jersey devils.
Come on, we're gonna get To that first date.
Wait, what do you mean, we? Why don't you just let us go? Funny story, I can't find The key to my cuffs.
This doesn't feel right.
Are you worried About your date? No, I just feel bad about Ditching mr.
Madigan again.
We had to.
Jimmy's waiting for you At the restaurant.
Yeah, you're right.
But still, I just hate Picturing my boss Standing on that platform, Sad and confused.
Hey, hey, hey.
I didn't know If you wanted mustard On your pretzel, So I got you one of each.
Great.
What are we gonna do now? As soon as we get To the next station, We'll try to lose him In the crowd.
Good plan.
Nothing's keeping me From my dateitith jimmy.
We're not going anywhere, Folks.
There seems to be a bear On the tracks.
Great balls of fire, That's a rat! You people in the first car Are gonna wanna see this thing.
I don't get any reception Down here.
If I don't get To the restaurant by 8:00, Jimmy's gonna think I stood him up.
I've got to say, that really Is an inordinately large rodent.
His tail looks like a jump rope.
Do you know how bad it is To start a relationship By missing the first date? This could doom the whole deal.
You know what you have to do? You have to will this train To start.
Close your eyes and will it.
Do you think that'll work? I do.
Did I do it? What was that sound? That rat's trying To pry open the door With a metal pipe.
I'm starting to get A bad feeling about this.
Cheer up.
How does the old expression go? Better late than never.
Yeah, better late than never, Not better late And handcuffed to two dudes.
I said I was sorry.
He gets like this sometimes.
Excuse me, sir, Are you a magician? Yes, I am.
It's pretty impressive.
Well, if you thought That was impressive, What do you think of this? Kind of the same trick, But still pretty cool.
Excuse me, do you know How to get these handcuffs off? Yes, you just pull them And they release.
Oh, we already tried that.
Hmm, what are those, prestos? They were recalled.
The only thing that'll go Through those is a hatchet.
You don't have one Up your sleeve, do you? Let me check.
This is hopeless.
Hopelessly romantic.
This is a story You're gonna tell Your great-great-grandkids.
Hey, it's me again.
The good news is the rat Appears to be losing interest, But unfortunately our brakes Are locked.
Must have happened When I was panicking And randomly hitting buttons On the control panel.
That's odd.
Why didn't you just throw The manual override switch? I don't know what that is.
I'm sort of an amateur Train enthusiast.
I'll go talk to him.
You know what's weird? That a huge rat stopped A new york city train? No, I think that nun Is wearing boxing gloves.
Just like that puppet.
We're moving.
I can't believe We're really moving.
You're gonna make your date.
This is your conductor, Max madigan.
Next stop, times square! See? You made it on time.
Excited? Yeah, but I can't help But feel bad about Ditching mr.
Madigan.
Yoo-hoo! Over here.
Oh, come on! What are you doing here, Mr.
Madigan? I couldn't find That cat restaurant, So I just popped Into this place.
How's that for coincidence? You know what would be An even bigger coincidence? If someone else we knew Walked in, Like, I don't know, jimmy.
Jimmy? Yeah, what if he walked in? That would be nuts.
Nuts, indeed.
Something odd is going on here.
Odd? You and jimmy aren't trying To go on a date, are you? A date? Where would you get that? I'm here with you and lulu, And jimmy's with ryan And that guy.
Officer jake hooley.
It just seems suspicious That you would mention jimmy And then a moment later, He'd walk in, Even if he is with ryan And that guy.
Officer jake hooley.
We're not on a date, Uncle max.
I'm just out with my buddies, Taking advantage of this Restaurant's three-for-one deal.
Then why are you wearing The madigan dating tie? This isn't the madigan Dating tie.
Sure it is.
It has civil war ketchup on it.
Well, since we're all here, Do you guys wanna sit with us? Sounds great.
Are those presto brand Handcuffs? I used to own a pair of those.
Did they work? No.
I spent the better part Of last winter Cuffed to my radiator.
I survived off a single sleeve Of crackers.
I lost 40 pounds.
Can I start you folks With something? Yeah, we'd like A plate of nachos, Some seltzer water, And a hatchet.
One number six, coming up.
Brock wants a baseball theme For the wedding, And I was thinking More along the lines Of no baseball theme whatsoever.
Amanda, weddings are made up Of ideas that are different, But blend together.
It's like he's peanut butter And you're sardines.
Do you understand? Yeah.
No.
Two things that don't sound Like they're gonna taste Good together, But then once you try them, It's all you ever want to eat For the rest of your life.
Are you saying That's all you eat, Peanut butter and sardines? Uh-huh, and cheese.
Oh, this is good.
Cheese brain? Mm-mm.
You must.
I'll pass.
Okay.
Thanks for dinner, uncle max.
And you were right.
The sweetheart dessert for two Was much better split six ways.
I guess I'll be heading home.
I'm going that direction.
I'll walk you.
That'd be great.
I need to walk off dinner.
I'll come with.
I just have to wash my hands.
We're finally alone.
That had to have been The world's worst first date.
I thought my parents' First date was bad.
They got stuck on top Of a ferris wheel And my mom was all, "climb down and save us, larry!" That was the night My dad broke both his legs.
We can still Turn this night around.
You wanna go to happyberry? I should probably get home.
I've got school tomorrow.
Oh, no.
I still have A whole chapter to read.
Oh, yeah, and I have to Get back to the office And finish the mail run I skipped 'cause I was Getting ready for tonight.
This has been the most Exhausting night of my life.
True.
Yes? Oh, no, I was agreeing.
I should have just said "yeah.
" Sorry.
We can try again tomorrow night.
Jimmy, I don't know If I'm ready to do this.
And I like you too much To mess up what we could have Because I couldn't give us 100%.
Then maybe we should wait.
You know, until a better time.
Is that okay with you? Actually, I'm kind of relieved.
My stomach's been In knots all day About lying to uncle max.
Yeah, it's pretty amazing We were able to fool him.
Hi, kids.
You two aren't on a date, Are you? No, we're just friends.
Good friends.
Well, this has been A fun night.
Okay, okay, okay, Before we play our first game Of basketleen, I wanna thank jimmy For weaving the basket.
Ooh.
Thank you.
Kids, have you seen max? No.
And what are you wearing? You like it? I'm just playing With some notions For my wedding dress.
We're thinking Of an upscale baseball theme.
What are you serving, Hot dogs and caviar? Now we are.
Someone write that down.
You don't want us To be bridesmaids, do you? Ha! [snorts.]
of course not.
Unless you want to.
We'd love to.
I don't want to brag, But my head is delicious.
Here, have the rest.
True, did you spend Company money To buy a trampoline? Yes.
Great idea! I want one for my office.
Now, let me show you kids The moves that got me onto