Van Helsing (2016) s02e08 Episode Script

Previously on Van Helsing Realize your true power, Vanessa.
Join me.
(ROAR) What are you doing with this key? Keep it safe.
Argh!!!! We follow you.
As many as you wish.
You bite me now or I'm done.
Hiya, soldier.
Holy shit.
(AXEL): What's up with Samurai Jane over there? She's my sister.
(SPITS) (LAUGHS) - (HELICOPTER WHIRRING) - Hey! Go! (VANESSA): Axel! Axel! Axel! Go! Go! Go! - (MUFFLED YELLING) - Axel.
Vanessa Van Helsing.
Axel! (GROANS) Vanessa.
Guys.
Hey.
- Hey! - (GROANS) Morning, sunshine.
I'm not really a morning person.
Yeah, apparently.
Hey.
Come on, big fella.
Get up.
Get up! Doc.
Doc.
- What the? - Get up.
Oh, shit.
(GROANS) What happened? I'm trying to remember.
- (COCKS GUN) - Oh, wait.
- That helicopter.
Do you remember that? - Yeah.
And Vanessa? Oh god, that's right.
Who were they? I don't know.
Military.
- You said you saw markings, right? - No, they weren't military.
Not once I got a look at them.
- Then who were they? - I have no idea.
They had training.
Gassed us, scooped up Vanessa, got out of here real quick.
So what does that mean? Now we go follow them and we get her back.
You bet your ass we do.
They headed north.
- What? - End of discussion.
That's not the way they went.
I saw them go that way right before I passed out.
Ok, well I passed out after you and I'm telling you that's not the way they went.
Is that right? Yeah, that's right.
Just before I went down I saw them go south.
You were already out.
Guess that wasn't quite the end of discussion.
(ENGINE STARTS) (VEHICLE DRIVES AWAY) Anything? Not on the map.
Then again it's from a Shell station.
I wouldn't expect it to have all the secret hideouts of shadow organizations that like to run around in black helicopters.
- Funny, army man.
- Hey.
Marine.
Oh, excuse me.
You're goddamn hilarious for a marine.
That's right.
(SIRENS WAILING) Really? Oh, shit.
Easy, Doc.
(SIRENS WAILING) Even in an apocalypse a sister can't drive a car without getting pulled over by a 5-0.
(DOORS SLAM) Sorry, officers.
I don't have my license and unfortunately this thing isn't registered.
Yeah, I didn't figure it would be.
It'd be pretty damn impressive if it was.
Ah, fact is you folks never broke any laws or anything.
We were just so damn surprised to see a another vehicle on the road we had to pull you over just to check you out.
Understood.
No harm done.
Where re you headed? Not sure, exactly.
Lost track of a friend of ours.
Trying to find her.
Thought she might try to get above the ash and the vampires.
Maybe head for Denver.
Oh, God.
Here's another one going to Denver.
What the hell you wanna go to Denver for? You wanna get above the clouds, you just gotta go to Crooked Falls, just up there.
In the mountains, safe as houses.
Well, that's what folks say, anyways.
Very interesting.
What are we doing here? Staying cool and not getting shot.
What's your name, Sheriff? Walt.
Sheriff Walt Turner.
I'm Axel.
This is Doc, Julius, and Scarlett.
We're just passing through.
Ok by us.
You know, maybe you might wanna stop in town.
You re gonna go right by it.
We got water and all that.
Modern conveniences.
Oh, that's real nice but I think we ll pass.
Well, I wouldn't do it for just anybody.
I mean, you all seem like good people.
And I know you are, soldier.
Where did you serve? Iraq.
Then Afghanistan.
(CHUCKLES) First division.
What else? Goddamn.
Uh look-uh, please.
Please, be our guest.
It'd be my honour, soldier.
Sounds good.
Could use a shower.
Yeah, no shit.
Well, what do y'all say? Give us a little company and we'll do you up one hell of a barbecue.
Alright.
We follow you? (LAUGHS) Yeah! Follow us! (LAUGHS) See what I see? Yeah.
Food, guns, and gasoline.
The big three.
Yeah.
(HONKING) (DOORS SLAM) (DOORS SLAM) Glad to meet you.
Axel, isn't it? That's right.
Thanks.
Hello, miss.
I'm, uh, Danny Douglas.
I'm one of Walt's deputies.
Scarlett.
Like in Gone with the Wind.
No.
As in the colour of blood.
(LAUGHS) My parents were funny people.
I guess.
A pretty thing like you shouldn't be named after blood.
And you're Doc.
What's your name again, big fella? - Julius.
- Like in Julius Caesar.
No, like in "Gone with the Wind".
(LAUGHS) This is one funny group.
I like that.
Well, come on inside and see our fortress.
Oh, uh, just one thing.
Uh, we're gonna need your weapons.
All of em.
Uh, just until we eat and you're on your way.
Sorry, but we gotta be a little pre-cautious here.
It's how we've survived this long.
Look, humour me.
Yeah.
Hey.
(CLAPPING) Ah, we got two! Thanks, Julius.
Doc? Way to go, Scarlett.
Alright, come on in.
Pre-cautious my ass.
Come on, you.
Up you come.
Thanks.
It's ok.
I got you.
You know, I keep thinking What? We're gonna come around a corner in the trail and we're gonna see Sam feeding on Mohamad.
I can't get that image out of my head.
God, that's bleak.
All we can do is keep going, hope we can catch up with them and nothing bad has happened to him.
Thanks for being in this with me.
- You're welcome.
- (SIGHS) Come on.
Sam won't stop for anything.
- We can't, either.
- Shh, shh, shh.
(ANIMAL SOUNDS) That woman.
It's the nurse from the triage.
The one I punched.
Yeah.
And the man.
And the girl.
Callie.
You know her? It's a long story.
Feed.
(SCREECHING) Woah.
It's alright.
No! No, not her! Not her! (DMITRI): No, Scab.
No.
No.
No, a bigger one.
Enough to satisfy the others.
(SCREAMS) - No, no! - (SCREAMING) - No, no, no! - Stop it! You don't have to do this! - No, please! - Stop it! (CHOKING) (SLURPING) (HOWLING) (HOWLING) (COUGHS) (FEASTING) - (WHIMPERING) - (HOWLING) (WHISPERING): We gotta help these people.
How? It's impossible.
We gotta find a way.
What about Mohamad? (SCREAMING) These people here now, we help them first.
(DOOR OPENS) Holds up to 200, not including staff.
We got three levels plus a sub-basement.
It's on well and septic.
We got two generators down below and we make our own gasoline.
- Nice.
- Oh, no, efficient I like to think.
Built in 1935 by one of those WPA crews so it's, you know, stylish and built to last.
It's got reinforced concrete two feet wide on all sides.
This thing would have held up in Fallujah.
(LAUGHS) I don't know about that but she's a good old girl, plus she sits on a hillside so we got height advantage.
Can see damn near ten miles in all directions.
Ok.
In you go, soldier.
Have a look at that.
Holy shit.
Come on, come on.
Have a look at this.
(LAUGHS) Isn't this somethin? Nice, huh? This is the heart of the place.
- This is beautiful.
- Yeah.
When things went for shit we scooped up everything we could.
It was one of them big stores just outside of town, a knife and gun place killed people we've known for 20 years.
Except they weren't people anymore.
And we, uh we ended up with all of this.
Ok, come along.
Here, we've got more to show ya.
- Come on, come on.
- Whole lot of fire power.
I hate guns.
Woah, that's a blast from the past.
- What is? - Gun-hater.
Guns are the best friends you ve got these days, little lady.
Speaking of that, Walt, do you think we can get some rounds before we go? We're running kinda low.
Not a chance.
Not one bullet.
Sorry about that but we're in it to win it.
You don't get ahead by giving away the thing in life that keeps you there.
Bullets.
Bullets are life.
Ok, I don't think he's saying give them to us.
He's suggesting we make a trade.
You ain't got shit we want.
Not even your pretty face.
If you did we'd have taken it from you already.
Mmm.
Good to know.
What I can offer you is plenty of hot water, soap, change of clothes.
After that we'll fill your bellies, give you a good night's sleep.
Come morning we'll give you back all your weapons, top you up with gas, and you can be on your way.
Fair enough? - Sounds fair.
- Good.
Now, wait till you see this.
(CHUCKLES) - (SPITS) - (DOOR OPENS) Don't get excited.
The hot water doesn't work in the ladies.
- That's all.
- Oh, I could fix that for ya.
No, don't worry about it.
- I'm pretty good with tools.
- Yeah, I bet you are.
(LAUGHS) Yeah, your sister, we used to double up on showers back at the hospital.
- Mmm.
- Save water and what not.
Yeah, you wish, army man.
(LAUGHS) Kinda do.
Kinda do.
- Hey-oo.
Hey.
- Hey.
Thought you were one of those knuckle-draggers.
Wouldn't want you to take a bullet to the head for lifting a pair of jeans.
Hospitality only goes so far, apparently.
- Yeah.
- Although they did say we could take some clothes, so - What? - I'm done.
- I'm ready to go.
- Really? That's it? One hot shower, you're out? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
Walt is a bit much, huh? I don't trust him.
Come on.
He's just a big fish in a small pond.
I've met guys like him before.
- Guys like that are all bark.
- Maybe, maybe not.
Come on, you don't actually think these bozos have a real plan up their sleeve, do you? They re just playing at being big shots.
That's it.
Ok, well they took our weapons.
Yeah, and we're gonna take theirs.
Alright, now you're talking.
- Look, you wanna go, we'll go.
- Yeah, I wanna go.
- Totally.
- Great.
- Right after we eat.
- What? No, wait.
You wanna stay for dinner? Dude, I'm hungry.
Plus, it's barbecue.
Nobody does barbecue like redneck assholes do barbecue.
- You re an idiot.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah, I might be.
Come on.
Stay and prove me wrong.
This is bullshit.
We gotta go now.
No hot water in the ladies room.
That's bullshit.
That's f (LOW SNARLING) (WESTERN MOVIE PLAYING) Hey, nice duds.
Good.
I see you found our storage area.
Yeah, thanks for that.
Appreciate it.
Oh, you re welcome.
Ah.
Anybody want a beer? It still holds up pretty good, I tell ya.
- Yeah, sure.
I'll take one.
- Yeah, I'll take one, too.
Huh.
I haven't had a beer since 193 Oh, uh quite a while.
Well, you deserve one.
Ladies? - Nah.
- Ah, your loss.
You guys gotta try this beef jerky.
They make their own jerky here, it's delicious.
(DISHES CLATTER) Ah, Big Mama.
Hell of a cook.
Damn good cop, too.
She's been our dispatcher for the last 20 years.
How's dinner coming, Big Mama? It's all good.
Just need us some meat.
You got it, sweetie.
(CHUCKLES) Ah, hey.
You guys, uh, wanna come along? Help out? We're just gonna start preppin the roast.
Yeah, sure.
Sounds great Why don't you just relax, enjoy your beer? I grew up making barbecue.
Uh, well I feel bad making you little ladies do all the work.
Hmm, believe me, Walt, you make us little ladies feel a lot worse when you call us "little ladies", so Oh god, I know, I know.
Sorry about that.
You wanna come along? Welcome.
Here we go.
(MOVIE CONTINUES) (CRICKETS CHIRPING) (FAINT COUGHING) We stop here tonight.
Master.
We should keep moving while it's dark.
The prisoners are tired.
If they die we have no food.
If we have no food we cannot make it to where we must travel, and it is far.
Then, master, we should rest in daylight when it is harder for us to move about freely.
The humans are used to resting at night so we rest now.
(THUD) (GROWLS) Tell them.
We rest.
(GROWLING) See how nice the temperature is down here? That's all the concrete I was tellin you about earlier.
Wow, impressive.
Yeah, we like to think so.
Mmmhmm.
It was all Walt's idea to turn this area into a fire pit.
It was pretty damn great when we finally did.
Oh, I can't take all the credit.
Big Mama came up with the idea for the smoker.
Nice.
One of the best implementations we ever did.
Woah.
Some of the best damn jerky you re ever gonna eat in your life.
(HISSING) (LAUGHS) Alright, well where is this brisket at? Let's get this shit going.
Alright.
Here, you better put those on.
You might need them when we put the critter on the spit.
Axel? Uh, you re gonna wanna see that.
- Ok.
- (CLEARS THROAT) - (SNARLING) - (CRIES OUT) - Jesus! - Come on, get back, get back, get back.
She's ok.
It's ok, it's ok.
- You guys are eating vampires? - Oh yeah.
You never had one? Super succulent.
- Are you kidding me? - Look, trust me.
These things cook up like turducken, only juicier.
Way, way juicier.
Yeah, it kinda tastes like chicken.
- Well, yeah.
But sweeter.
- Way sweeter.
Look, are you dropping out of this? Ok, so be it.
Come on, Danny, let's go.
Ok boys, in there first.
Get right to the back.
Ok, in we go.
Hey.
Ok, round up.
Get her in the corner.
- Ok, hold her down.
- Get that thing off.
- Get it off.
- Come on.
(ZAPPING) Get her on the table.
On the table.
- (ZAPPING) - Hey! Hold on to her.
- (SNARLING) - (ZAPPING) Nail her down.
Come on, nail her.
(NAIL GUN POP) (SNARLING) - (NAIL GUN POP) - That's it.
Get the feet done now.
Get the feet.
- (NAIL GUN POP) - There.
Ok now grab a hold of the head there.
(SNARLING) Look, you guys better move back.
This part can get a bit messy.
(LAUGHS WARILY) This this is the messy part? The trick is to incapacitate just shy of total annihilation.
Just a quick shot to the front lobe.
(WHIRRING) Oh, God! See? Not too deep and not too shallow.
Well, we're all set.
Let's sizzle.
Yeah, we're looking forward to it, Walt.
(CLEARS THROAT) Where are you going? - That was a good one.
- Ok, fire it up.
(MUFFLED SCREAM) (WHISPERS) Oh, yes.
(SNARLS) (WHISPERING) Help me.
(SCREECHING) (SNARLING) Ok, let's go! Run! Run! (YELLING) Go! Run for your lives!!!! Do it now! Go! Go! (GROWLS) Shh.
(RIPPING) No! It matters not.
Let them go.
Nothing will stop our pursuit to this Scarlett.
Follow me.
(PANTING) Hey, guys.
Hey.
They gave us a deck of cards.
Doc showed me a game.
- Cool.
- Pretty fun.
We're going.
- Now.
- What? Why? Because these dudes are cannibals, that's why.
- Cannibals? - Yeah.
What, like they wanna eat us? Nah no, not so much.
They eat vampires.
They cook them alive.
What?! Apparently it's the new white meat.
Oh my god.
I'd ease off the beef jerky if I were you.
I hope you all like slaw cause I made up a ton of it.
- Uh - Great.
- Excellent.
- Thank you.
They got a feral on a spit downstairs they re roasting under a UV light.
That's our big feast.
I say we get the hell outta here while we still can.
Not before grabbing a few things first.
Oh, shit.
What's the plan? Scarlett and I will hit up the armoury.
You guys grab your stuff, head to Wanda, wait for us there.
What if we get caught? - Then what? - Don't get caught.
Here we go.
Rise and cool.
(MOVIE PLAYING) (EXHALES) God I love this place.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
And you and you and you.
Ok, come on.
Let's go.
Yeah, let's go, let's go, let's go! (HUMMING) (CRANKING) (SIZZLING) Come to Mama, you little bastard! (LAUGHS) (HUMMING) - (STEAMING) - (SIZZLING) (SCREECHING) (SCREECHING FADES) Even you don't deserve that.
You spoiled dinner! You stupid bitch! (STRUGGLING) (PAN BANGING) (GRUNTS) (PAN CLATTERS) (GROANS) (SCREAMS) (THUMP) (GROANS) (GROANING) (PANTING) - Keep moving! - (SCREECHING) (PANTING) - Keep moving! - Oh God! Where's Callie? Callie! Everybody's scattering.
We can't keep them together.
Look, we gotta help as many as we can, ok? That's all we can do.
- Callie! - Callie! What about Mohamad? We said we'd keep looking for him after - He's gone.
Mohamad is gone.
- You can't know that.
Look, he's dead, alright? Or he's one of them.
That's the truth.
We both know it.
I have to live in the present now.
Be with the living.
I can't be in the past anymore.
I won't do it.
Let's go! Where are they? They should have been here by now.
They ll be here.
We gotta go now! Got to go, got to go.
(DOORS OPEN) Where's Julius? You haven't seen him yet?! He left ahead of me.
Shit! Wait, are you sure? How can I possibly get that wrong? Alright, shut up, sit down, he ll be here.
He's coming.
He's coming.
- Come on.
- Hey, you re late.
Let's go.
Let's go! We gotta go now! (SHUTS DOOR) (STARTS ENGINE) (COCKS GUN) - (GUN SHOT) - (GLASS SHATTERS) (GUN SHOT) - (GUN SHOT) - Jesus! (GUN SHOT) Open the damn door! Shit.
Open the door! Open it! (OPENS DOOR) Hey Walt.
Now which one of you sons of bitches gutted Big Mama? So you come into our home after a kind and generous invitation on my part.
You come in here and you kill one of ours, steal from us try to, anyway.
You kill, you steal, you take food out of our mouths, and for what? For one of them.
I don't get it.
But I'm gonna.
You are gonna explain yourselves or die trying.
Might as well start with you.
Your type's always ready to give up the info when push comes to shove.
My type? You know what I mean.
Now talk.
Ok.
I got a couple words for you.
I knew it.
Eat shit.
There.
A couple words.
(LAUGHS) That was that was good.
(THUD) (SPITS) You re gonna regret that.
(THUD) I guess I'm doubly gonna regret that, huh? You get it, boys? Doubly? That means twice.
(CHUCKLES) Well, looky there, this asshole can count.
Well, to two.
Boy, you are really asking for it.
And I'm gonna give it to ya.
- (SNAP) - Stand em up.
Now, I want some answers or I'm gonna turn this marine into a gimp.
At the count of three.
One two (CRIES OUT) (GROANS) Shit! (COCKS GUN) Three.
Tell them to put the guns down and let us go.
Now.
Just go ahead and blow his brains out.
(COCKS GUN) Let me guess.
Twelve gauge? It's a good guess.
Exactly.
Put it down nice and slow.
(THUD) Get down.
- (WINCES) - (COCKS GUN) Somebody start talking! Don't hurt her! I'll tell ya what you wanna know.
You wanna know why I killed her? I killed her because I couldn't stand to see what she was doing to a vampire.
Why? Julius? Don't.
Because I used to be one.
(MURMURING) Now, what the hell did you just say? What he means is Exactly what I said.
I was a vampire.
I was a ruthless killing machine.
Was.
Until she changed me.
(GROANS) (CRIES OUT) This is bullshit.
No, it's not.
He's telling the truth.
She has abilities or-or powers, or something, and she's done it before.
Done what? To who? To me.
And him.
And of course him.
It's true.
I've seen her do it.
She really can turn them back.
(LAUGHING) This is total horse shit! You can't come back, not after you've been Yes, you can! Just easy.
Just look at my hands, ok? Look.
Look at my hands.
There's a scar on them.
It's not done by a fire, it's done by the sun.
The way vampires get burned.
Look! Well, it's possible, I guess, right? Yeah.
Maybe.
Vampires, huh? Well, I'll be.
You (LAUGHS) I wonder what they taste like.
One-time vampires? Hmm? That's a damn good question, Danny Boy.
I think we oughtta find out, huh? (CHUCKLES) And I'm gonna start with you.
(LAUGHS) Fine, start with me.
I am not even a vampire.
We ll see about that.
Set up the roof, boys, for the test.
Let's go.
View to die for, huh? Now then, as you can see, we're giving you each a chance, more than you were gonna give us, and a hell of a lot better than you did to Big Mama.
How is it better than what happened to Big Mama? Because it just is.
This is justice.
Huh? But like old-school type justice.
What, like the wild west? No, no, no, no, no.
Older than that.
Like back in ancient times.
Witches in Salem, that sort of thing.
- I don't quite follow.
- You will.
Ready boys? (CLEARS THROAT) Toss that bitch who stabbed me over the edge! - No, no! - (CLAMOURING) - Woah! - Wait a second, wait! What is the plan here? She says she is not a vampire.
So we toss her over the side.
If she dies from the hanging then she was right.
She's an actual person.
But if she lives then she's a vampire.
And we eat her.
We had to use it one time on this old man we just wasn't sure about.
And? Ah, it turns out he was just drunk.
Wow.
That story's a two out of ten.
You guys are a bunch of complete idiots.
A vampire will definitely die if you toss it over and hang it.
I mean, it might take a little bit longer but it will definitely die.
Oh, well, uh, we ll just have to see then, won't we, Miss Smarty Pants? Go for it! (CLAMOURING AND SCREAMING) (SCREECHING IN THE DISTANCE) - What the hell was that? - Shit, this isn't good.
That's the Sisterhood.
They're killers.
- (SCREECHING) - They're worth 20 of you guys, each.
I can't see a goddamn thing.
Yeah, well I can.
- You can see in the dark? - I guess so.
She can see in the dark.
She's a vampire.
I'm not a goddamn vampire! Look, it doesn't matter! We put up with this stuff for three years and we're still here.
That's right, lady.
Ain't nothing we can't kill once we get started.
Plus, we've got the advantage of this rooftop.
(SQUELCH) (COUGHS) (THUD) - (SCREECHING) - (GASPS) Oh, shit! Sorry, I-I couldn't really hear what he was saying because he has a spear made of bone in his chest.
Come on, Chief, your call.
What's it gonna be? (SCREECHING) Hurry up! Come on, please.
Just let us go.
Without us you're all gonna die.
(SCREECHING) Take your time, asshole.
No rush.
(SCREECHING) (WALT): Boys? Let's go down and show that bloodsucker who's boss.
Don't be an idiot.
Ok? I've had a run-in with the Sisterhood and I'm telling you right now, you do not let us go we're all gonna die.
Little lady, we didn't survive the rising by shaking in our boots every time a vampire appears.
This is different.
Not much meat on them bones.
At least cooking time will be quick.
Let's go get dinner.
You go down there, you re gonna die.
Danny, keep an eye on em.
If they get out of line, stretch 'em.
(SCREECHING) (THUNDER ROLLS) Such a shame to waste such a beautiful face like yours.
You know, the trick is just get up on it before you go cold.
Well, that is the only chance you'd have to get up on it, dipshit.
What about you, big boy? Huh? You got something funny to say? You touch me, I'll beat you to death with your own fists.
I think that's pretty funny.
Don't you? What's a little filly like you doing out here all alone? (THUNDER ROLLS) (CHUCKLES) This sucker's brave, huh? - Stupid.
- (COCKS GUN) But brave.