Vice Principals (2016) s02e08 Episode Script

1 The teachers, they didn't teach the test on purpose.
They want you fired.
It's a full mutiny.
- You guys are jerks.
- (Talking over each other) - They're in.
- (Cheers and laughter) Why are you with Abbott if you're in love with Snodgrass? Snodgrass is with Brian.
Yeah, but Abbott? You hate her.
I'm sorry I strung you along but it's not right.
I can't do this.
Ow.
Right in the tits.
- Boo! - (Yells) Where the hell did you get that? It was in the trunk.
Isn't it really strange how everything worked out for Russ? - Sorry (Sobbing) - We all make mistakes sometimes.
Okay, kids, I have an announcement to make.
The HSAP test results are in.
And I wish I could say that the news was good, but I can't.
It's great! 98th percentile English, 99th percentile math! The highest scores in the state! - RUSSELL: Come on! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! - (cheering) Yeah, yeah! Whoo! HAAS: Say a few words.
Here you go.
Uh, hello.
Hey, everybody.
Uh, Jeremy, you have always been a mentor to me for a very long time, so this really means a lot.
I would like to share this moment with some teachers who came up with their own very, very special ways of helping me out.
Mr.
Seychelles, Ms.
Deets, Mr.
Milner, and Ms.
Abbott.
- (cheers) - Come on, guys.
Don't be shy.
Come on.
Come on, that's right.
For all your help with our HSAP success, I want to honor you.
Now form a line right there.
These are my gold star teachers! (cheering) Mr.
Seychelles.
No.
No.
(muttering) You fucking wear it.
Mr.
Milner.
Ms.
Regina Deets.
And, last but not least, Ms.
Abbott.
Our gold star teachers will now be available to all of our students 24/7! I have posted their personal phone numbers on our school's Web site.
And get this.
They will also be our prom chaperones.
- (cheers) - They will be there with you on your night! Okay, let's bring it down.
Bring it way down.
Down, down, down, down.
Down, down, down.
Let this be a lesson for every student sitting here before me that no matter what obstacles we face, no matter what challenges lie before us, we will fight, and we will win.
Because we are ALL: Tigers! And hear us Roar! - Hear us! - Roar! - Hear us! - Roar! Now give yourselves a hand.
(applause) (theme music playing) Swift, have you seen Neal? I've been looking for him everywhere.
Oh, um, he asked me to give you this.
What the fuck is this, a spaceship on a ladder? I think it's a train.
On a ladder? No, I think those are train tracks, sir.
- Oh, yes.
- Yeah.
Gamby? Gamby? Hello! What the fuck, man? Why are you acting so weird? You missed the assembly, you call me out here to these train tracks.
As you can see, I have no weapons.
I am unarmed.
So, tell me Russell, do you feel bad about shooting me? Do I feel bad about what? So am I.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You got this all wrong, friend.
Friend? Are we friends? Of course we're friends! What the fuck is wrong with you? I found the shooter's mask in your Jeep.
You hid it in your wife's trunk, you fucking coward! Uh, okay.
You are completely insane.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Mask, what, like a Halloween mask? The shooter's mask, you motherfucker! You tried to fucking kill me for a job, Russell! Come on, Gamby.
No.
Don't try to sweet-talk me.
Settle your affairs and gather your things.
I am banishing you from North Jackson High.
If your resignation is not on Haas's desk by first thing in the morning, I will fucking shoot you.
Well, if you're not gonna shoot me now, do you mind getting that gun out of my fucking face? I say when the gun goes down.
What if you shoot me in the back as I'm walking away? If I want to shoot you in the back, I could shoot you in the back.
But I've already told you, I'm not going to 'cause I'm gonna shoot you fucking tomorrow morning, not a moment sooner.
You're making a big mistake.
You're not in control, Russell, so shut the fuck up! (sighs) RAY: How many kids you got coming? Oh, I think we'll invite around 30, right? All right.
With kids and parents, too.
No, it's like ten.
I just gotta know how many.
(clanking loudly) That's a fascinating story.
But I'd like to share something with you right now that's a little more fascinating.
- It's over.
- What's over? All the bad shit that's been happening this year.
All the horrendous terrible stuff, it's finally done.
My case is solved.
Hey, cops caught your shooter.
No, the cops didn't catch shit.
I caught him, and I dealt with him.
Wait.
It's a him? Don't worry about who it is, okay? Just know that it's done.
- We're safe again.
- All right.
Were we ever in danger, Gamby? Oh, yes, Ray, we were.
Every fucking day of our lives.
Whew.
What a relief, huh? Feels different, right? - I don't know, feels the same to me.
- Yeah.
No.
It's different.
Come on, Nash.
Let's get this show on the road.
Eh, let's give him five more minutes.
You know, he might just be running late.
No.
Nash, look, Russell is not showing up today, okay? - Are you sure? - Yeah.
I've never been more positive of something in my life.
Ah.
There he is.
Heh-heh.
(sighs) Good morning, friendly employees.
What the hell you doing here? Well, I'm here for work, dummy.
We were just about to raise the flag without you.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
You can't do that.
I'm the boss.
Yeah.
Blossoming! Minds and hearts blossoming.
Hello.
Russell! Russell, you motherfucker.
What do you think you're doing? My job.
I'm being the principal.
I told you what would happen if you came back here.
Oh, you're gonna kill me? Get real.
I don't have time to play make-believe with you anymore, Gamby.
Do not take my threats lightly.
I am a man to be feared, you son of a bitch! Because of the way you're acting, you're a man to be laughed at.
Oh, here they are.
The reporters from The Review.
They're gonna do a little story on me for their Sunday edition.
Excuse me, Gamby.
- Hi.
- This way.
- Okay, great.
- This way.
We'll walk.
We'll walk.
Fuck! Boom, boom, boom.
Willows, I need you.
My shooter has revealed himself, and he is none other than Lee Russell.
- Russell? - (chuckles) I think I'm finally starting to get your sense of humor.
It's dry as hell, but it's funny, man.
Are you kidding, boss? No, I'm not kidding.
I'm deadly serious.
And you should know that I have a firearm we need it.
You brought a gun to school? You can't have a gun in school, Gamby.
Can't bring a gun to school, boss.
No, duh.
I said I have a firearm.
I didn't say I brought it here to school.
Goddamn it, Willows! Don't start doing your job now.
You feeling all right, Gamby? Yes.
I'm fine.
GAMBY: Amanda, I want to be honest with you about something.
Okay.
Honesty's good.
I've done some things, some terrible things to help Lee Russell rise to power.
How terrible? Lee and I burned down Belinda Brown's house, and then we blackmailed her, we forced her out of her job.
We basically destroyed her whole entire life, - and then Lee shot me.
- Holy fuck.
What? I know, it's a lot to take in.
Just breathe.
It's okay.
I just want you to know that all the wrongs are about to be righted.
I'm gonna fix all the terrible shit that I've done, okay? You You burned Dr.
Brown's house down? Shh.
Yes, yes.
But the more important crime here is that someone I trusted shot me.
Why are you looking at me like that? I guh be should class now.
ABBOTT: You motherfucker, Gamby! This is because of you! You did this to me! Come on, this is not the time or place.
I told you we're done.
So you wanna break up with me and then have Russell punish me? I will take everything from you.
Everything we've built.
I will fucking destroy you! Come on.
Come in here! - Get the fuck off of me! Get off me! - Go fucking in there! Stop fighting me! Fucking go! Gold star teachers! Go! Everyone stop what you're doing! I have a revelation that is going to rock you.
Neal Gamby spent spring break with Lee Russell.
- SEYCHELLES: Oh, my God.
- They're still friends! No! He was never part of our group! What in the hell, Gamby? I knew we shouldn't have asked him to payday drinks.
Forget it.
Soiled.
Gone.
You sold us out to your BFF? GAMBY: He's not my BFF, okay? In fact, I'm working on a plan right now to topple him once and for all! (mockingly) Oh, I'm working on a plan.
I'm working on a plan.
Backstabbing prick.
See? Nobody likes you again.
Does that feel familiar? Sue? ABBOTT (LAUGHING): Fucking choke on it.
Look, nothing I ever did here was ever not in the best interest of North Jackson High School! I'm done.
I'm done.
You'll see.
I'll show you all.
Oh, hello, Gamby.
Newspaper story went well.
I think they'll write something nice.
If you think lording those reporters over me is gonna impress, well, you got another thing coming.
Your time is up, Russell.
You're forcing my fucking hand.
Go ahead then.
Do it.
Pull the trigger.
Fuck! As much as you like to act like Rambo, the truth is you're just a softhearted man.
You don't have the fucking balls to go to war with me.
Now, I tried to reason with you.
But you're like a child.
So you're fired.
- So you're gonna take it there? - Oh, you're goddamn right I am.
You just tried to fucking kill me, Gamby.
Well, you tried to kill me first.
- Get out.
- No.
- Get out.
- No, it's my school, too, Russell.
Fucking get out.
Get the fuck out! Get out! There's no lime in here.
Where's the lime? In five, four, three two, one.
RUSSELL: Good day, Tigers.
And what a wonderful day it is to be a Tiger.
I want you to be on the lookout for this Sunday's edition of The Review, where a certain prized principal, your very own, might be the feature, feature story.
A fun fact.
On this day in 1994, Russia agreed to phase out the production of weapons-grade plutonium.
Now, if they can do that, certainly we can phase out loitering in the hallways.
Today's Korean proverb is (speaks Korean) Which means "At the end of hardship comes happiness.
" And that is a very valuable lesson for all of us to learn.
So, thank you very, very much for this Neal Gamby, what are you doing (grunts) (yelling) (screaming) (cheering) (grunting, shouting) (TV tone droning) RUSSELL: Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? - Hey! Hey! - (scuffling) Aah! - (blow thuds) - (screams) (screaming) Hah! Hah! Hah! - (shouting) - (shrieking) You know what? Come on, you fucker! Come on, get up, Gamby! Come on! - (over headphones) - And little drops of rain Caress our face and wash my blouse (grunting) Ah! Ah! Ah! Ha! Are fun Kites are fun SNODGRASS: No, guys, guys, guys.
Get back! - (panting) - (shouts) (chattering) ALL: Oh! Aah! - Oh! - No! Ooh! Oh! Go! Go! Go! (whimpering) What the hell? (students exclaiming) Oh, you're gonna throw shit at me? Help me! Help! Help me! Fuck him up, Mr.
Gamby! You fucker! (students cheering, applauding) (Russell shrieking) - Freeze, Gamby.
- (Taser crackles) Willows! You escort this maniac off of this campus! He is no longer an employee of North Jackson High School! He is nothing! Come on, boss, you gotta go.
No! You take him out front.
- I want everyone to see him.
- No! (echoes) Everyone! (engine rumbling) SNODGRASS: Hey, Neal.
Uh, your gate was open.
Yeah, no duh.
Disabled all my security perimeter.
All my defense weapons are offline.
Are you okay? I tried calling.
What happened? What do you think happened? I just outgrew North Jackson.
Had to step down.
No other choice.
Step down? That was you stepping down? Okay, I was fired.
Whatever.
C'est la vie.
What, did you come here to make fun of me? No, I'm I'm here to see if you're okay.
Well, yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fucking training to play basketball.
Maybe this'll be my new life, you know? I'll just play pickup games for money.
(grunts) God! Fuck! All that stuff I told you about what I did for Lee, that's the reason why I didn't talk to you after the shooting.
I just I was ashamed of who I'd become.
You know, when you read my book you were the only person who believed in me.
And I believe in you too.
I mean, what you've done is is very fucked up, but I believe that you're a good person, and that your heart is in the right place.
And I know that Russell is a true tyrant.
Check this shit out.
This was in my mailbox.
So you're a gold star teacher now, too.
This is all my fault.
I have to stop him.
I need to hit that son of a bitch where it hurts.
I wanna come with you.
If I make this shot, you may come with.
Okay.
- Did I do it? - You did.
GAMBY: This is gonna be hard for you to believe, but I found out that Lee Russell tried to murder me.
- (scoffs) - (gasps) A few months ago, I would have said no way, but now, anything is possible with him, I guess.
So you'll help us destroy him? I know he's caused you a lot of pain.
Those lies he spread about your ex-boyfriend, the stuff with the sex to the other boys.
He totally ruined his life and possibly yours.
I'm sure there's some level of abuse going on as well? No.
There was not any real abuse.
It's Are you sure? Because if there was something, then that'd be an easy way to get him out.
We could just report him to Haas and (clucks tongue) boot him out.
(speaking Korean) (shouting in Korean) Lee (shouting in Korean) Excuse me.
What is she saying? She's saying to take you to his hiding place.
- Come on.
- (thunder rumbles) He liked to keep detailed records.
SNODGRASS: Oh, my God.
It's all so organized.
It's like a serial killer's storage unit.
God, and it smells like him too.
Gross.
(shrieks) Goddamn! What the fuck are you doing? Sorry, sorry.
GAMBY: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
Ugh.
CHRISTINE: Here it is.
His sister's diary.
Almost every entry is about Lee.
His family knows who he is more than anyone.
I think that's why he hates them.
Can we borrow this? Where the fuck are you taking us anyway? Stop complaining, Reggie.
Right on time, Dayshawn.
Workers, my people, come to me.
SEYCHELLES: Diamondbacks and cockleburs around here.
- Just right here.
- Ouch! Oh, Jesus.
This is a Gamby thing? I don't know about you guys, but I don't feel safe around this violent psychopath.
You can go fuck yourself, Gamby! - Move, Sue.
- It's okay, people, just let her go.
It's fine.
Thank you, gold star teachers for coming.
I appreciate it.
Now where are the goddamn bad kids? ROBIN: What do you want? Robin, what the fuck? I told you to be here five minutes ago! I thought you got fired.
I was conquered by Lee Russell, yes.
- And for that I'm sorry.
- Why are you still here, then? The reason why I brought all of you out here is because each of you represent the backbone of this school, and right now North Jackson needs you.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, it's more big words.
You and Lee are butt buddies.
Who are you trying to kid? I'm not trying to kid anyone, Milner.
I'm not butt buddies with Lee.
Yeah, man, so what if he is? Maybe Lee Russell is fucking Mr.
Gamby? That don't mean he's not trying to help us.
Well, that'd be him fucking over his butt buddy, and they're already fucking if they're butt buddies.
We're not butt buddies! No one else say we're butt buddies, it's annoying! Just saying, that's just possible.
People, look, I have no respect for that man.
He has put his boot on our throats long enough, and it is time that lying sack of shit was taken the fuck down! - Amen! - Hey, we got your back, Mr.
Gamby.
Whatever you fucking need.
Lee Russell never done anything to me, but I'll whip that skinny motherfucker's ass.
Lee's a slippery eel.
How we gonna take him out? With a secret weapon.
Behold! Lee Russell's sister's diary.
Inside this are all the exploits and disgusting behavior that Lee Russell has done since he was a child.
His secrets shall be weaponized.
(murmuring) Oh, they're butt buddies.
This is what we're gonna go with, guys.
'Cause he's not gonna want anyone to know about what's in here.
This is gonna fuck him up.
This is gonna be the go-to.
This is how we do it, guys.
GALE: I do like the husband.
I think the husband's nice and like, the whole Neal? What are you doing here? What happened to your face? Gale, don't make me feel self-conscious about my wounds, okay? Look, it's all coming to an end.
It's over.
Whoa, whoa.
What's over? I thought you already told us that it was all over? That's because I thought it was over, but it wasn't over.
Now is the time when it's the over for real.
It's all starting in a few moments.
Is everything okay, buddy? You need anything from us? Strength and forgiveness.
I'm about to enter the belly of the beast and I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it out.
So it's important for me to let the both of you know how much you mean to me in case I don't make it out alive tonight.
Gale, I know you and I have never been on the same page, but without you, there would be no Janelle.
So, for that, there'll always be a very tiny, minuscule, eensy-beansy part of me that will love you forever.
Wow, Neal, I'm Shh.
It's fine.
Don't say something snide and ruin it.
Okay, thank you.
That's very sweet of you.
- I don't even have the words.
- I know.
- (door opens) - JANELLE: What's going on? - Um - Janelle.
Baby, it's time for your father to meet his fate.
I just want you to know that I'll always be your dad and I'll always be with you.
Even if I get myself killed this evening.
You're scaring me.
(breathes deeply) Ray, will you give me a ride to the prom? (door opens, closes) To the prom king and the prom queen.
May your life be a dream.
Or a fucking nightmare.
(chuckles) (lighter clicking) Hey, no students allowed backstage, you know that! And smoking weed at a high school prom? What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh, that's real original.
You have a tiger mask.
Just, just give me that.
Oh, no wonder.
Neal Gamby's boy.
Look at you.
Fucking stupid.
Uh I'm Whoa, whoa! Get the fuck! Whoa, whoa! No, no, no, no! No! No! Open this fucking door! GAMBY: Greetings.
Jesus fucking Christ.
You don't give up, do you? Face it, Gamby.
I'm smarter than you.
Whatever you say.
I just wanted to stop by to show you something that Christine gave me.
Christine? You talked You talked to Christine? She gave me a little tour of your hiding place, with the binders, the toys, curios.
- You fucker, that's private.
- Oh, I know it is.
Very private.
Just like this.
Look familiar? Give that book, you (chuckles) Whew.
You had quite the colorful childhood, huh? That's my personal property, Gamby.
Give it back to me.
"June 3rd, 1984.
"Lee tied a cat up in a sack and drowned it in a pond.
Now we call him 'The Kitty Killer' till he cries.
" Gamby, don't, okay? Be an adult.
Give it back to me, please.
And then there's this one, of course.
Pretty humorous.
"August 12th, 1989.
"Today me and my sister were spying on Lee in the bathroom, "when we caught him standing on the bathroom sink inspecting his own asshole in the mirror.
" - There's a Polaroid attached to this one.
- Gamby, I'm asking you, please.
Don't do this, okay? Just give it back to me.
It's the tip of the iceberg, though.
I mean, the juicy stuff? That comes in the teen years.
Okay.
You've had your laugh.
I get it.
(laughs) I'll laugh with you, honestly.
I I totally understand.
Just give it back to me, please? I'll forgive everything, okay? That's That's It's mine.
My people have control of the PA system, and I am fully prepared to walk out of this room and read this diary in its entirety to every single fucking person in that prom.
And I might start with this.
"April 2nd, 1993.
"Today Lee was kicked out of gymnastics for" Don't! Don't read that.
I know what I did that day.
I never want to see your face again.
It's over, Lee.
You're done.
You're gonna leave this fucking school, and you're never gonna come back.
The gold star teachers have given me an official recommendation to replace you.
All that stands in my way is your resignation, which I have kindly filled out for you.
Sign it.
Sign it, Russell.
You still think I'm not so smart? I beat you.
It's over.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
He's gone.
Sweet, sweet darling Either call your friends to play Burn for hours and days Louder than a megaphone - (echoing) - Megaphone Wearing your shoes I aim to roam Stealing wonder away, oh I'm coming home Home to roost Tonight I've grown to love you I'm coming home Home to roost Tonight I've grown to love you Roost Tonight I've grown to love you