What About Brian (2006) s02e08 Episode Script

Previously on "what about Brian" I don't want a relationship.
I just want to focus on my career.
You can do both, you know have a career and a social life.
I do.
And that's exactly why I'm gonna find a buyer for this house before you do.
I'm the one who destroyed this marriage.
I can't do this anymore.
Angelo had a great life.
He got married.
We were starting a family.
He finally got a part in a movie He really did do everything he wanted to do.
- Want a lap dance? - Yes, please.
My real name it's Heather.
I'm sure Heather is a great girl, but are you really gonna throw away everything you've worked for? This is Heather hillman.
We just got married! The girls are down.
Why do parents always say that? Like you hid behind the couch and shot 'em with a tranquilizer gun.
You got a tranquilizer gun? I bet they have one at Cosmart.
They have everything at Cosmart.
Yeah.
- What the hell is this? - The food for Adam's party.
Dude, you're throwing a wedding party for Adam.
You can't serve everybody pretzels and party mix.
- You're right.
- Yeah, of course I'm right.
You gotta have the mini-quiche.
- Spinach, meet cheese and bacon.
- That's what I'm talkin' about.
Hey, did you order the 12-foot subs? Yes, dear.
Wait.
Did you ask Deena to switch with you next weekend so you can help me with the prep? She's not gonna do it.
What? Dude, it's all about the nanny days, okay? If I have the girls on the weekdays, and Maria's gotta pick 'em up after school, and if Deena's got 'em on the weekends, then Maria's gotta watch them while she sells the cupcakes at the farmers market, and it's like the kids are with Maria seven days a week, and that's not good.
You lost me on "nanny days.
" Dave, do not let me down on this party.
It has got to be great.
Why, for Adam? For Adam, and also because I want to invite Bridget.
Well, she'll definitely say no.
No, she won't.
I'll get her to come if it's the last thing I do.
She just needs to get to know me, see me at my best, and that's when I'm with you guys all my friends.
First of all, you're not all that great when you're around us, and second of all, she already rejected you.
No, there's just something standing in the way, and once I figure out what it is why do you always do that, Bri go for a girl that you can't have? I don't always go after a girl I can't have.
You always do.
You should take a page out of Adam's book and just go for the easy pick.
Heather is an easy pick? A girl who dances naked for other men? Hey, listen if my wife got naked and actually danced for me, I would be with her for the rest of my life.
You're a simple man with simple needs.
Mark my words we'll be throwing a 50th anniversary party for Adam and Summer.
- Heather.
- Whoever.
- oh, god.
- Oh, baby, we woke you.
I am so sorry.
- Hi, Adam.
- Hey, Betty.
Jasheika got thrown out of her apartment, and she didn't have anywhere to go.
No, I'm not coming home! No, I'm not going to tell you where I am.
Okay, they can be crazy, but they're sweet.
They just need a shoulder sometimes.
- I have to get up in three hours.
- I know.
Look, they're leaving, ok? Come on.
Let's Wait.
You're gonna eat these? What did he say? He says he loves me.
- I don't know what to do.
- Yes, you do.
You stand firm.
You don't want to go back there.
Jasheika, he is never gonna change and you're never gonna get out of this rut until you look in the mirror and say, "I'm a stone fox, and I don't deserve this.
" Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like when Heather was with Manny, right? And all that bad stuff was going down, and she got out of it.
Who's Manny? Ancient history.
I'll tell you sometime.
is that your alarm? Oh, god.
You better get in the shower.
It's the movie that he was doing in italy when he died.
They're having a screening for distributors, and they're inviting me.
I don't think I should go.
- Is this your husband? - Yeah.
If my husband looked like this, I'd never get over him.
The hardest thing about losing my brother is that I'm never gonna see him walk into a room again or hear him talk.
If there was footage on him anywhere, I would want to see it.
Topping the leaderboard once again Bridget keller.
And debuting at number seven, Mr.
Brian Davis.
You probably all think he just got lucky, being my son, and caught a good gig.
But remember what I taught you in this business, you make your own luck.
Wonder if they got him the car yet.
Interest rates are down.
We got four new listings on the westside I want them all in escrow by the end of the week.
Let's do it.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
You, too.
What was the car comment? He gets you a company car if you sell a listing over $3 million.
- Oh, god.
- Oh, no, take it, because next time you won't have me to help you sell your listing.
Well, you won't have me there to get you your next listing.
I'm gonna miss riding with you.
I'm throwing a party friday night, at at my place, for all my friends.
You want to come? I can't.
Why? Because I'm I'm kind of seeing someone off and on, and what you're asking me is is on a date.
It's a party.
We're friends.
I thought we already figured all this out.
I'm sorry.
I-I should probably say no.
Bye, Brian.
- hey, Deena.
- Hi, sven.
Double light vanilla latte, nonfat milk.
That's very good, but, no, not today.
I wanted to talk to your manager.
She's not here.
Right.
Okay.
Well, I I'm starting my own business making these cupcakes, and I wanted to see if maybe she'd like to to order some.
- Can I try one? - Sure.
Try that one.
The frosting.
I want to mainline that frosting.
Okay, well, I'll just leave these with you, and if she wants to order some, have her give me a call.
There you go.
- Hey, Deena.
- Yeah? Can I give you a call sometime? Maybe we could grab a hamburger or something? So you gonna go out with him? - No.
- Why not? I just think I need to be with myself for a while.
I don't want to date.
I-I don't want to get involved.
Well, what happens when you do want to date? - What do you mean? - You're gonna be rusty and boring.
Yes, you are.
You need a practice date or two or three.
- Well, practice for what? - Charm and the art of conversation and not being nervous.
If you go out with a guy you're not really into, there's less pressure.
Know what I mean? you wanted to see me? Yeah, we have a tradition here at the company.
Whenever an agent brings in a commission on a property $3 million or more you buy them a company car.
I know.
You know, maybe you shouldn't with me, dad.
You know, 'cause I'm your son, and it might I thought you wanted me to treat you like everybody else.
I-I do, but I'm sort of a car guy.
It's kinda my thing, and I'm picky about them.
Come on and look at this, car guy.
Gee, dad, it's really not that one.
That one.
Oh, my god.
Is that the one? What one? The one that was on the poster in your bedroom at your mother's house.
I can't believe you remembered that.
That's amazing.
Take me for a ride.
how'd you find it? Cars like this don't show up in the pennysaver.
It was on the internet in Pittsburgh.
You shipped it from Pittsburgh? Well, that was no big deal.
I had to get you a car.
And to tell you the truth, I didn't want to listen to you whine around the office that I got you the wrong one.
Yeah, I live right up around the corner here.
Wanna come and meet Tracy? I don't understand why you don't want to meet my wife.
'Cause I don't want to start to like her and then have you move on to someone else.
Listen, Tracy is it.
She loves me.
She takes care of me.
She's the one for the long haul.
That's why I want you to meet her.
- Michael.
- Hey, babe.
Hi.
Michael, I'm all stinky with fertilizer.
Brian, this is my wife stinky.
This is my son.
Brian.
Hi, I'm tracy.
So do you like the car? He was searching the net forever.
It's the one.
It's the exact one he had on the wall when he was a kid.
I had a feeling.
He never listens.
I never listen to you? You know, Susie and Tim want us to meet them downtown tonight.
- Not at that place again.
- No, not at that place.
Heather, I need some help.
Hi, baby.
I am so late.
Oh, thank god.
- Here they are.
- What have you been doing all day? Well, I did laundry.
I know.
I'm messy.
- You hate that I'm messy.
- No, no.
I-I love it.
I love that you wear a g-string to work and I love that you have your friends over here in the middle of the night, and I love that you have your junk all over my house.
Your house? I didn't mean that.
I just meant you know, I'm sorry.
- Just go to work.
- No, no, let me just clean up.
- You know, Heather - No, it's your house.
You've made it perfectly clear.
- What - What is this? My tips.
Baby, the bank would like these in nice little piles facing up.
- I'm not going to the bank.
- Why not? Because then I have to declare it on my tax return.
Heather, grown-ups don't put their money in plastic sacks.
You know what, Adam? I have been living on my own since I was 15 years old.
There was no money from the folks or friends to bail me out.
So I will keep my money wherever I please.
I'm going to work.
Don't wait up.
Well, don't bring the two strippers over tonight.
Most men would actually kill for that.
Thanks for coming with me, Dave.
You know, I'm kinda excited to see Angelo again.
I'm so nervous, like he's gonna see me, too.
Isn't that crazy? This whole thing is crazy, Nic.
If you had told me a year ago that'd I'd be single and that Ange would be gone That's that's Valeria Giacho she's the star of the movie with Angelo.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Ready? Let's do it.
- Yeah.
You okay? Come on.
Let's get out of here, okay? You stay.
You watch the movie.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Why was she crying like that? - I don't know, Nic.
Maybe she thought the movie sucked.
Why is her arm in a sling? - Was she in an accident? - Come on.
- You gotta cut it out.
- Angelo was in an accident In Naples What was he doing in Naples when he was supposed to be catching a plane in rome to come home to see me? Okay, whatever you're cooking up in you head right now it's nonsense, so let it go.
What if there is something, some secret? How can I just walk away and ignore that? How? Okay, I wish I didn't know all of Deena's secrets.
I wish I didn't know about Richard.
I would have never slept with Suzanne.
I'd still have my job.
I'd still have my wife.
I'd still have my family.
I am telling you that Angelo loved you, and Deena loved me, and now I wish to god I would have been happy with that.
so, Sven, what else do you do? You know, besides coffee? - W-what do you mean? - You know, I mean, most people have a dream, you know, something else they like to Yeah.
Not me.
No, I really like being a barista.
- More time for surfing.
- Right.
You are super hot.
- Thanks.
- Deena? Hey, T.
K.
What what are you doing here? I'm just having a drink with some colleagues.
What are you doing? This is my friend Sven.
- What's up, dude? - T.
K.
How are you? - I'm gonna hit the john.
- Okay.
So are you on a date with him? I mean, not not a real date.
I'm just practicing.
Practicing what? How to have a conversation with someone who's brain-dead.
Well, look, if you need any practice with insecure rich guys - Do you know any? - I know one.
He's available tomorrow night if you are.
I can't.
I can't two nights in a row.
My kids I just How about this weekend? I've got to go to Australia for a few weeks.
- Really? - Yeah.
Well, look, maybe I'll run into you again sometime.
I'll work something out.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- Okay.
- Okay.
I'll call you.
You you look better today.
yeah, well, I got a full night's sleep.
Heather didn't work? No, she worked, and she slept on the couch.
Yeah.
Listen Adam if a friend knows something, something important, about another friend, should the friend tell the other friend, even if it might cost him the friendship? If a friend has a friend, and that friend is me, then yes.
You should tell them everything.
All right.
I ran a record check - on Heather.
- What? I-I was at the courthouse, and I-I just did it? After after hearing everything you said about not knowing her look, I wouldn't even have brought it up, but there's something on it.
- I asked Ivy what I should do.
- What, you showed Ivy? No, man, I just asked her if I should tell you.
Well, I don't want it, and I won't read it.
Adam, Heather might be the mother of your children some day.
Don't you think you should know the score on her? - How about I just ask her? - And what if she lies? You're pissing me off, Jimmy.
Look, well, throw it away then, but it's yours now.
I did what I thought was right.
I like this one the apple spice.
Figures you would.
I like the chocolate.
Dave, do you think it would be weird if I invited my dad? I met his wife.
She seems really cool.
No.
Are you guys having a church wedding or a civil ceremony? - No, we're not the - we're not the couple.
It's for a buddy of ours.
We're throwing a party.
He just got married.
Whatever you guys say.
You know, I don't think he believed us.
You're not helping.
That's probably Hansen from work.
It's the school.
Hello? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm Larissa's father.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
Everything okay? Larissa got into a fistfight.
They're suspending her from school.
Larissa, can you tell your mommy and daddy what happened at recess today? I punched Connor Carter in the face.
Y-you punched a boy? Yes, and he has some pretty serious bruising and swelling.
Honey, why would you do something like that? Because he said I didn't have a daddy.
- Honey, that's just not true.
- I know.
That's why I punched him.
It's important for you both to spend as much time as you can with the girls right now.
Well, we do.
We spend a lot of quality time.
I got them on the weekends.
And I'm with them on the weeknights.
Except when she goes for her dates.
That's when we have Maria.
Her dates? Last night was her practice one, but tonight's her real one.
She picked out a beautiful dress.
- I helped her.
- That's sweet, honey.
I asked you if you could switch days, and you said no because you didn't want the girls with the nanny again, right? And then you go on two dates in a row? What the hell's that? I didn't plan on getting asked out, Dave.
It just happened.
Well, did you ever hear of the word "no," Deen? How about that? Are you mad that the girls were with the sitter or at the fact that I had 2 dates? No, I don't care if you have a hundred dates, Deena.
I don't care if there's a line around the street.
I just want you to do it on the weekends.
The weekdays, you're supposed to be here with your daughters, and you're not here.
You're out on some kind of weird date, when your daughters need you.
- I really hate you sometimes.
- Well, guess what? I hate you back.
I've given my life to these girls, Dave.
Here we go.
I have been here for every nightmare and every earache and every tantrum while you were out making video games - Which is my job! - Since they were babies.
Don't you dare tell me I am neglecting my children because I take one night It wasn't one night.
It was 2 nights! Two nights! 2 nights! 2 nights, Dave, to do something for me! Girls, go to your room.
Of course you're not a bad mother.
- You're the best mother.
- No, I'm not.
I'm a bad mother.
I feel so guilty because sometimes I got mad, you know, 'cause I missed out on things because I've been doing babies for the last six years.
It's natural to feel that way.
You know, when that teacher called, I was making four dozen cupcakes for another kid's birthday.
Honey, please don't cry.
and I don't hate you.
I don't hate you either.
Did you hear that, girls? I don't hate your mother.
what the hell are we gonna do? Nice car! Everyone's talking about it.
- Thanks.
- How does it drive? Good.
Are you mad at me? No.
Then why are you giving me the cold shoulder? Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend before? Before the Elizalde house, the bedroom, the champagne because you didn't want to jeopardize the sale? No, no.
It had nothing to do with that.
Why am I even telling you this? You know what? You're me.
You're me in a dress.
You yank people around.
"I like you.
I don't like you.
Come closer.
Go away.
Oh, actually, I'm seeing someone.
" I've been doing that for years, and I finally see why all the girls I've dated hate me so much.
I'm a real jerk.
Yes, hello.
Is there someone there who speaks english? I'm calling from the cliffwood insurance company in the U.
S.
Thank you.
Yes, I I'm calling regarding a fatal accident that occurred on november 4th in one of your rental cars.
We got all the records back in Italian, and I can't decipher them all.
The victim's name is Varzi.
R-Z, yes.
Thank you.
And there was a passenger in the car? There was.
Valeria Giacho.
Grazie mille.
I got the envite for your party.
That was a mistake.
Look, I don't want to yank you around.
I don't want to be that girl.
You said we could be friends, and I'll tell you something.
I could really use a friend tonight.
- What happened? - God, I don't know.
That guy just not always so nice.
Then he's an idiot.
So am I.
You want to get a drink? Are you buying? - yeah.
- Sure.
Let's go.
And when we get good and drunk, you're gonna call that guy and dump him.
You got it.
"I'm sorry.
This is our house, so I got us a cleaning lady.
Love, your husband.
" You want it? I think you've proven you're drinking me under the table.
Well, I come by it naturally.
My father is a very charming, very wily, old drunk who I could never count on, so so we have something in common difficult fathers.
Yes.
You have a dog bed.
But no dog.
I had a dog for a while, but the car girl took him.
It was very "Kramer vs.
Kramer.
" - Did you just say "car girl"? - She's a girlfriend I had.
So what would that make me? Real estate girl? Actually, you don't have a name.
I mean, it's Bridget, but we only name girls who we know we don't really like.
Why do you like me? I'm so mean.
You're mean because you don't want people to know you're all soft and vulnerable underneath.
And it's very sexy.
- Okay.
I have to go home.
- You can't drive home.
Then drive me home.
I'll drive you home if you call on-and-off guy and break up with him.
- You call on-and-off guy.
- What's his number? No, don't call on-and-off guy.
It's too late.
I promise I'll do it tomorrow.
tonight I want to do something to piss him off.
And what's that? Where's your room? Over there? That way? Breakdown go ahead and give it to me Breakdown, take me through the night Breakdown I'm standin there, can't you see, Breakdown, it's all right It's all right, it's all right Why didn't you wake me up last night? I had some reading to do.
Oh, yeah? For school? No.
If you wanted to know about my past, all you had to do was ask.
Jimmy did that.
I didn't read it.
- I don't want to know what's in it.
- I'll tell you what's in it.
I was arrested twice for cocaine possession.
The second time I went to jail for 3 months.
Why wouldn't you tell me something like that? You didn't put it on the questionnaire.
Do you have a criminal record? I never would have thought of that! Then why'd you do the check? I don't think this is about a background check.
This is about you keeping secrets from me.
You know, I-I-I don't want the girls down at the strip club knowing more about you than I do.
I don't care about them.
I don't care if I never see them again, but you you don't want me to leave.
I keep trying to tell myself that this is great as long as it lasts, and if it ends, I'll get back on my feet, but I don't know if I will.
Come on.
I'm here.
I love you.
And as far as security goes, there is none.
I mean, Dave and Deena ruined their whole marriage because they kept too many secrets, and I don't want to make that mistake.
I was also arrested another time for shoplifting when I was 16.
Well, I stole a hot dog off of old man beeman's barbecue in the fifth grade.
I don't know if I can live with that.
Yeah.
Yes? I think have the wrong room.
I'm so sorry.
Nicole? That is you, right? Angelo's Nicole? Angelo talked about you all the time.
He couldn't wait to see the baby.
He wanted to raise it in Rome.
He kept asking my advice on how to convince you to move to Italy.
He was a very very italian man.
Is that your way of telling me that he was having an affair with you? I know that you were in the car with him when the accident happened.
I wasn't with him when he died.
We were both unconscious.
- He died in the hospital.
- So were you having an affair with him? It wasn't an affair.
It was a moment, that's all.
Angelo wanted you.
You meant more to him than I ever could.
I don't care about that.
I just want to know the truth.
That is the truth.
I hate this.
I hate that he's gone.
I hate that he lied to me that something like this could happen, and we just have to go on with our stupid little lives.
But he was here.
You have the evidence inside you a baby, ready to come out and grow up and see Rome and fall in love.
It isn't so little, life, is it? No.
It's friggin' epic.
Just a minute! Hey, T.
K.
What are you doing here? I thought you were packing for Australia.
No, I'm supposed to be on a date with you, but you canceled it.
And I'm sorry.
I just had to be with my girls tonight.
- It's okay, it's okay.
I get it.
- Yeah.
I didn't want to interrupt.
I-I just didn't want to be gone for so long without giving you this.
- You shouldn't have.
- Come on.
Open it up.
It's to keep track of all your practice dates.
Yeah, and these are my numbers right here.
Right here.
That's my cell number, that's my pager, the home in Malibu and in Aspen and that's my business manager.
And that one there is my mother, but you might not want to call her after 10:00 P.
M.
or she'll yell at you.
Okay.
What are you doing, Dave? So could I come in for a minute? I want to ask you in.
It's just that my husband ex is in there.
Right.
Listen, I'm sorry I had to cancel our date.
I-I didn't want to.
It was the one I actually wanted to go on.
- I'll call you.
- Okay.
I mean, it's a 19-hour difference.
Yeah, I can't calculate that, but if you call I'll answer.
Listen come here for a minute.
Bye.
Bye.
In sports, the international basketball league was busy last night Who was that? Nobody.
Just one of the moms from school.
Well, I guess I should be heading back to Brian's.
Thanks for letting me stop by.
I think Larissa knows that she has a daddy and all that.
Well, that's good.
Now I just gotta find this Connor Carter kid and kill him.
Good night.
Hey, Dave.
Yeah? Do you want me to tell you when I have a date? No.
Some things you don't need to know.
Good night.
Night.
Take all your chances while you can Never know when they'll pass you by Like a sum the mathematician cannot solve Like me trying my hardest to explain Brian! I cannot tell you how excited Tracy is to be coming to your party tonight.
I don't want you to come.
Well, why not? I can't make conversation with your wife and pretend I don't know about your cheating.
- I'm not cheating on her.
- I saw you.
Well, maybe if you could tell me what you think you saw Bridget, dad I saw you this morning downstairs, arguing.
That was nothing.
Bridget is volatile.
She's upset about something Bob did with a listing.
Why can't you leave them alone? Why can't you keep your hands off them? Every time I even think about getting married, I stop and I think, what if I'm just like you? I am not having an affair! Dad, if you ever cared about me If you are really serious about ever having a real relationship with me I did have an affair with Bridget at one time, but I put an end to it.
It's been over for months long before you came here.
I want this thing to work with Tracy.
I love Tracy.
Then why do you do it, dad? Why? Because it's life.
You know that.
I hope you know that.
A woman is just there's nothing like it in the world.
And when you get older, they look right through you.
Hey, man.
What are you doing? You're not supposed to go on a beer ru for your own party.
It's the least I could do.
Hey, man.
Thank you for this party.
It really means it means a lot to Heather and to me.
Yeah, well, we really wanted to do it for you.
I mean, dude, you're married.
Yeah.
Sure seems like it.
Seems like everyone's going there.
And I, feel like I never will, like I'll always be outside the window, looking at in all the warm happy families.
So what happened? Something bad between you and Bridget? So bad.
Come on now.
She had an affair with my dad.
why do these things always happen to you? I don't know, man.
I don't know.
oh, god.
- There you are.
- Hey.
This is a great party.
Did you guys really plan all this yourselves? Yep, every little bit.
So did you bring a date? Come on, Dave.
I wouldn't do that to you.
You can go on as many dates as you want.
I just don't want to be the babysitter when you get home.
- That sounds like a plan.
Yeah.
- Yeah? Daddy, is this real beer or root bear? - That'd be real beer.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Perhaps we should've gotten a babysitter tonight.
Maybe we should've.
Dave, Deena, we're cutting the cake! - You got a problem with me, Jimmy? - No, I don't, Heather.
Next time you want to know something, ask me to my face.
Okay.
I got a question for you.
You gonna support him? You gonna help him get this partnership? 'Cause I got news for you.
He's worked 7 years for it, and if he doesn't make partner at this firm, he never will, anywhere.
It'll be too late for him.
If that's what he wants, I'll support him every step of the way.
Okay.
Hey.
I don't even know what to say to you.
All the lies you've told me I never told you a lie.
I told you that I was seeing someone off and on.
And that's - him? - Brian, I haven't been with him in almost 3 months, and the other day before the staff meeting, he scolded me about you.
He told me to stay away from you.
And so you did what he said? I didn't know what else to do.
I thought that if you knew about me and your father, that you would never see me in a romantic way again.
You're right.
I won't.
Brian all that all that "just friends" stuff that was all an act.
I wish more than anything in the whole wide world that I would have never gotten involved with your father, and it's not because he's my boss, and it's not because he's married or because he's 30 years older than me.
It's because of you.
Because the first time that I ever laid eyes on you, I thought Oh, no.
This is a guy I could fall in love with.
And I know that there is no hope for us.
I get it.
But I just want you to know it was real.