Adam Ruins Everything (2015) s02e09 Episode Script
Adam Ruins His Vacation
1 Previously on "Adam Ruins Everything" I still have a lot to learn.
I think it's time I go see who else is out there I can learn from.
- (DOORBELL) - Hello, my Internet girlfriend! Can I live with you? How did we meet? It was so cute.
We were both editing the same Wikipedia page.
We got into this fight over what source to use for one of the citations.
So we started e-mailing.
And then we realized we both had a significant other die on the very first date.
So one thing led to another And a month ago, I showed up here in South Dakota unannounced and have been staying with her ever since.
Yeah, I know, you've told me this story three times already.
And it never gets old.
Well, you are a lucky man, Adam.
Melinda's the best fountain designer at our fountain design firm.
And she makes a mean brunch.
To new love.
Mmm.
Champagne's lovely.
Must have been expensive.
Oh.
- Should I say? - What? Well, pricy wines don't taste any better than cheap ones.
Even wine snobs can't tell the difference.
Boom, you're ruined! God, babe, you are so cute when you ruin stuff.
Melinda says I'm an L.
A.
six but a South Dakota 12.
Hey, look at the time.
Gosh, that went so well.
Even my boss loves you.
- I'm so amped.
- I know.
I used to be lonely and unhappy, but meeting you fixed me and it's gonna last forever.
Well, what else should we do to celebrate our love? Dinner with your parents? Oh, we can't, they're dead.
Oh, right.
What about a romantic vacation? I love it! We can go to my favorite place in all of South Dakota, Mount Rushmore.
Ooh, and then I can ruin it for you! - Oh, wait, what? - This is gonna be great.
Hi, I'm Adam Conover.
And I'm his girlfriend, Melinda Patel.
And this is "Adam Ruins Everything"! Oh, I love Mount Rushmore.
The history, the grandeur.
The outdoor freeze-resistant pedestal fountains.
It's America's greatest national monument.
I have to disagree.
Mouth Rushmore is America's weirdest national monument, not the greatest.
First, it's actually surprisingly small.
The heads are only 60 feet tall, or about one-tenth the size of the Washington Monument.
And it was also never finished.
The rubble at the base is just debris from the construction no one cleaned up.
But most importantly, the history of Mount Rushmore is real weird.
Oh, yeah.
I did always wonder why we carved president heads into the side of a mountain.
What's up with that? Well, this national monument was actually designed to be a national tourist trap.
In the 1920s, a group of South Dakota historians was trying to figure out how to attract tourists to their state.
Hmm How do we get people to come see our big, boring rocks? (GASPS) We'll carve wild west legends into them! Cowboy rocks Cowboy rocks (ALL) Cowboy rocks! Cowboy rocks! Cowboy rocks! Bit of a leap.
Unfortunately for them, the sculptor they hired, - a man named Gutzon Borglum - Eww, bad name.
Well, he had his own ideas.
Screw this wild west crap.
I shall fill your mountain with presidents! A noble project that will immortalize me, Gutzon Borglum.
Okay.
But then he carved all our greatest presidents.
Washington was the first, Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, Lincoln ended slavery and Roosevelt he liked hunting? (ANDY) And he was friends with the sculptor.
Teddy, you are the coolest.
I'm gonna sculpt your face into a mountain.
Wow.
- You're, like, obsessed with me.
- (FIRES RIFLE) That's the reason he was on the monument? And people were cool with that? They pretty much had to be.
Borglum was incredibly stubborn about doing things his way.
In fact, his original plan for the monument was a little bit too ambitious.
I'll sculpt the heads, then their entire torsos, and inside the heads, I'll build a hall of records, and that's where we'll store the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence! He wanted to put the Constitution in a mountain in South Dakota? I mean, I love South Dakota, and even I think that's insane.
Yep.
Borglum became so obsessed that Congress even threatened to cut his funding.
I'm not paying for your passion project.
Stick to the sculpture or you're cut off, Borglum! But he had only finished the heads when, in 1941, he died.
Uhh! Oh, come on! Since the sculptor was dead and the project was out of money, his workers decided to call it quits.
Well, we did the heads and Borglum's dead.
Time for us to go to bed.
Okay, so the sculptor was a maniac whose name sounds like some Swedish muppet's death rattle, and the monument was never finished.
That's not so bad.
And it was built on stolen Native American land.
Yeah, that's worse.
(ANDY) In 1868, the United States signed a treaty agreeing that this land would remain part of the Sioux Nation.
We've taken a lot from y'all, so you keep this land and we'll stay out.
(ANDY) But six years later, that all changed when General Custer found gold.
You found what? It's worth how much? Sorry! Should have said "no take-backsies.
" It was a real Custer fluck.
In 1980, the Supreme Court ruled this land grab unconstitutional, and ordered federal compensation now worth over $1 billion.
The problem is, the Sioux don't want the money.
So to this day, it's sitting on hold in the U.
S.
Treasury.
Wait.
Why don't you take the money? It was never about the money.
We just want our land back.
Think about it.
Our government broke a treaty, stole Native American land and then carved our own leaders' faces into it.
That's such an insult.
And for what? So tourists can come see a big version of the heads on our money? I never thought I'd say this, but North Dakota was right.
Mount Rushmore does suck.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to ruin your favorite place.
I just thought you'd want to know the real history.
No, it's fine.
How about this? Why don't we do something you like, so there's nothing to ruin? Well, I love games.
Ooh, and there's a gas station in Aberdeen that has a Ms.
Pac Man machine.
I think we can do better.
Why don't we go to Vegas? We can point out all the engineering flaws in the Bellagio fountain, - then hit the slots.
- That sounds great.
Except slot machines aren't games at all.
They're deliberately engineered addiction machines! Babe, remember, we're on vacation.
You don't have to find something to ruin everywhere ver mind, I see that you do.
(SNAPS FINGERS) Here we are, Sin City.
So glamorous.
Hey, they even have slot machines right in the lobby.
Wait a minute.
Adam, is that you? Yeah, once you have a TV show, you kinda lose control over what they put your face on.
Well, I'm gonna go score us tickets to Carrot Top.
We have the same hair guy.
Don't play these.
You know, they suck you right in.
But why shouldn't I play it? It's just a slot machine.
(ANDY) Actually, today's slot machines don't just steal your money, they're deliberately engineered addiction.
Interesting marketing strategy.
Definitely gonna play this one now.
Oh, I get it, I got sucked in.
Whatever, I'm not gonna get addicted.
(ANDY) In the old days, you wouldn't have.
Early slot machines were so simple, they were barely thought of as gambling.
Aw, shucks, Cal, we lost again.
No matter.
Let's cap off this harmless fun with a harmless cocaine cola.
But as slot machines became computerized in the '80s, casinos realized that frequent slot players could be even more profitable than the high rollers who play table games, so they began to look for ways to make slot machines harder to win and more enticing to play.
All right, Mr.
Computer.
Let's get these chumps hooked.
(ANDY) In the old mechanical slot machines, the reels were controlled by gears, and the odds of landing on any given stop were equal with each spin.
But these new slots are capable of hundreds of different virtual stops.
That means casinos can program different odds for each symbol, and it takes a lot more plays to win.
And they're also programmed to land on more near-misses.
A near-miss makes it look like you almost hit the jackpot which psychologically tricks you into feeling like you can improve your luck the more you play.
Next time will be different.
(ANDY) Yes, it will.
Because now, things are even worse.
Today, most machines are video slots.
Bigger, flashier and even more addictive.
So many chances to win.
(ANDY) Modern slot machines are designed to be so confusing that it's really hard to tell when you're actually losing.
Whoo! I'm a winner! Actually, you're not.
You bet a dollar, but you only won 50 cents.
This is called a false win.
The lights still flash and the buzzer sound, so even though you lost money, you still feel like you're winning and keep on spinning.
Whatever.
I can stop if I want.
You can try, but you'll be fighting your own brain.
With each false win, you get a tiny hit of dopamine, the chemical that activates your brain's reward centers.
(DING) Whoa, Mama! The old noggin noodle's loving this.
I am in the zone.
The zone is what gamblers call it when they're completely absorbed in the flow of a game, and using player loyalty cards, casinos track your every move to keep you there.
Ooh, shiny! (ANDY) The data on your player loyalty card tells the casino which games you like, how much money you bet, even what snacks you order.
Most importantly, they also know when you tend to get frustrated and walk away.
Huh.
I haven't won in a while.
Maybe I should stop.
Oh, she's coming out of it.
Send in the luck ambassador, now! Complimentary fried cheese? Guess I could stay a little while longer.
Back in the zone, baby! Some machines are so sophisticated, they don't even need to interrupt your game.
When you reach your frustration point, they just put a play credit right on your screen.
The goal of all this tracking is to keep you hooked and in the zone as long as possible.
Away, slot machine boyfriend.
I'm no gambling addict.
I can stop any time.
I'm sorry, Melinda, but the design of these games is so addictive, they're not just preying on problem gamblers, they're creating them.
This is Natasha Dow Schull, associate professor at NYU and the author of "Addiction by Design.
" Casinos would love you to believe that some of us are born addicts and the rest of us will never develop a problem.
But according to a 2002 study, people who regularly play slot machines become addicted three to four times faster than people who play other games, even if they've never had a problem before.
I've met people whose lives were destroyed by their addiction to slots.
They've gotten divorced, they've gone bankrupt, they've gone to jail, they've even committed suicide.
That's terrible.
But the casino wants us to gamble responsibly.
That's just them trying to shift the blame onto you.
That little sticker does nothing compared to this hardcore addiction machine, and the casino has no incentive to do anything that could actually protect its customers because slot machines are such a huge moneymaker.
Upwards of 85% of a casino's profits come from slots, and multiple studies have shown that problem gamblers generate 30% to 60% of total gambling revenues.
Casinos are making addictive products and profiting off of the addicts they create.
Slot machines are deliberately engineered addiction.
Deliberately engineered addiction.
Deliberately engineered addiction.
Will somebody shut this thing up? Okay, my sweet, two tickets to No, no, no, Adam, we gotta get out of here.
I can't believe it but you This machine ruined Vegas for me.
Can't we just go to a beach somewhere where we can get fun tropical drinks with little umbrellas in them and just relax? No more ruining? Like, what if we just went to Hawaii? That sounds perfect.
Just don't ask how Hawaii became part of the U.
S.
, because that story is real messed up.
No, see, that's what I'm talking about Look, Melinda, I got laid! I've always wanted to do and say that.
Oh, now, this is relaxing.
Let's just sit back, sip our drinks and enjoy all this traditional Hawaiian culture.
Yeah.
Every year, over 8 million tourists come to Hawaii thinking they're getting a traditional Hawaiian experience, but the truth is, most of this isn't traditional at all.
Adam, that sounded like the beginning of a ruin.
You promised! Just relax.
Of course, of course.
But real quick Tiki bars were invented by a California restaurant owner and hula dancers only started wearing grass skirts on the U.
S.
vaudeville circuit.
And let me guess.
Hawaii was taken from the natives by General Custer and a sleazy casino owner.
Did I get it? Ruin over.
Nope.
The real story of Hawaii is way weirder and darker than that, and the real irony is, almost no one knows about it.
Come on, I'll show you! (SNAPS FINGERS) (ANDY) Long before it became a state, Hawaii was a full-fledged sovereign nation.
They had a queen.
No splashing, everyone! No splashing.
(ANDY) A democratically elected house of representatives.
All those in favor of Marco, say Polo.
(ALL) Polo! (ANDY) And ambassadors all over the world.
So then I said aloha, and aloha! - (LAUGHING) - Classic Hawaii! I love your country.
Wow, I had no idea.
So what happened? We just straight up invaded them, didn't we? What? No, come on.
This is a sovereign country.
We wouldn't just take it.
Not yet, you wouldn't.
The strange story of Hawaiian statehood begins with a group of white Hawaiian businessmen.
What's up? Wait, they're white and Hawaiian? Yeah, we're the descendents of Christian missionaries.
And us white guys could do a way better job running this place.
Cheers, brahs.
They called themselves the Hawaiian League, and they were basically a secret club for powerful racists.
So powerful that in 1893, they threatened a violent coup and forced the queen to give up her throne.
Out of the pool, Queen! I have no choice.
- Hawaii is yours.
- (MEN) Whoo! What? How? Did they have an army? Nope, but a corrupt U.
S.
ambassador did.
Hey, U.
S.
ambassador.
I was thinking maybe you could back me up with some marines 'til this little coup is over.
That's against the law.
But what the heck? I mean, you're letting us keep the navy at Pearl Harbor.
The Hawaiian League also realized it would be better for trade if they became part of the United States, so they appealed for annexation.
Me and the ambassador have been thinking, if you annex Hawaii, I'll make a lot of scratch.
You'll basically have military control over the entire Pacific, bro.
It would be rad.
Hey! That's against the rules! You can't sign that treaty with them.
They stole my country.
I have a petition from 95% of native Hawaiians saying we do not want to be part of the United States.
Ambassador! Did you help to overthrow a foreign government? You put me in a real bind here.
Old Uncle Sam doesn't know what to do.
Conflicted, America didn't make up its mind for years until the start of the Spanish-American War.
- Hola.
- Spain? Get outta here! Okay, that's it.
This is America now.
Get 'em, boys! Ay! Ay! No, no! No! Get off of me! So Congress declared they were annexing Hawaii, and they were officially declared a U.
S.
territory.
We still live here.
My people aren't just going away, you know? - Oh, whatever! - Come on.
This is insane.
America just took Hawaii? Yes, that's actually how it happened.
And it was illegal.
This is Williamson Chang.
He's a law professor at the University of Hawaii.
According to international law in 1898, the only way to annex another country is by war or treaty, but the United States never invaded Hawaii and treaty attempts died in Congress.
Instead, they passed a joint resolution, which is only supposed to apply to domestic affairs, not acquiring a foreign sovereign nation.
That means that the annexation of Hawaii was illegal under our own laws.
And the saddest part is that for years, many Hawaiians didn't know this history existed.
The real story wasn't taught in the schools.
They were told that the treaty was legal and many native Hawaiians believed it.
That's terrible.
So today, our community is divided.
There are those who would like to see the kingdom restored.
Others think it's in Hawaii's best interest to remain part of the United States.
Regardless, an apology for the annexation of 1898 would be a huge step forward.
But until then, why don't we start with a complimentary Mai Tai? (MOANS) Americans travel to Hawaii every year on vacation, but when we do, almost none of us realize that this was once a respected sovereign nation and we just kinda took it.
This is awful.
Oh, I know.
America's history of foreign policy is No, I mean, this is awful.
We were supposed to be having a fun, relaxing vacation together, but everywhere we went, you just ruined things.
This was a terrible first trip together.
Here.
Go get laid by yourself.
Wow.
You are history's greatest monster.
Hello, we are here behind the scenes at "Adam Ruins Everything.
" I'm here with professor Williamson Chang because I have way more questions for him about the history of Hawaii.
So I'm very curious about the culture of Hawaii.
What was it like before, you know, it became part of the United States and how did the culture change? Well, Hawaii was a kingdom.
1887, lolani Palace had lights before the White House.
- Really? Electric lights? - Electric lights.
The native Hawaiian people were declared the most literate people on earth.
They came from a culture which was completely sustainable before the first Westerner came.
Hawaii had 800,000 people on these islands who lived off the land and on the water.
Today, we only have, let's say five days worth of food on the island.
If that's gone, we're in great trouble.
So before the 800,000 people - They were absolutely sustainable.
- Wow.
They didn't have money, there was no need for private property.
Everyone had a place in society.
It was very, very harmonious.
Well, we'll be right back with more "Adam Ruins Everything" and more Williamson Chang right after this.
Hello, we're back behind the scenes here on "Adam Ruins Everything" with Professor Williamson Chang, 'cause we got a couple more questions about the history of Hawaii.
How did things change after after annexation? Well, the majority of people, the plurality of voters were native Hawaiian.
Then after the overthrow, Hawaiians couldn't vote.
They weren't allowed to vote.
Native Hawaiians were not allowed to vote in the state or federal governments? They didn't have power.
Because, like in the south of the United States, there were barriers to voting, like you had to own $600 worth of property and have an income of so and so, and Hawaiians couldn't qualify.
You had to be loyal and Hawaiians weren't gonna side with those who overthrew the queen.
Hawaiians were so unhappy, so depressed, they began to lose their sense of place.
By the time they were allowed to vote in 1959, they had become a small minority.
So the question of what we do with this information is such a difficult one, because this was happened over a hundred years ago.
You're absolutely right.
The history of Hawaii has been kept from Hawaiians, there's been deliberate deception, but it's been over 100 years, what do you do? Even though with the original, you know, annexation was illegal, it's sort of the political reality today, so That's a very good point.
So it's difficult to know how we would I mean, how would you like to see the issue addressed? This is a question that requires deep thought.
There are many Hawaiians who say, "Oh, we want the kingdom back.
" Some people are saying, "Well, why do you want to go back to a monarchy?" The question is, after 100 years of being told you don't you're not a country, you're not a people, no one's ready.
But it seems like the most important thing is to have an open conversation about this.
The worst part is that the government and the people writing the textbooks aren't open about it and aren't honest about what happened.
Well, it's like the South African experience, so much wrong for so long.
Nelson Mandela said, let's have a process called truth and then reconciliation.
So what we're doing today is great because it's the first step is the truth.
Well, thank you so much for coming on the show, Professor Chang.
And now, back to "Adam Ruins Everything.
" Melinda, are you mad? No, I'm just sketching a new fountain.
It shoots a column of water 100 feet into the air, which then lands directly on your dumb, adorable face, because, yes, I'm mad.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
I just don't get why you couldn't just relax and spend time with me.
Ruining is just what I do.
It's how I connect with people.
I thought you liked it.
But when you're constantly correcting me and fingersnapping your learning ghosts everywhere, and telling me everything I like has a terrible history, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for you or something.
I didn't know you felt that way.
Probably wish I would die, just like all your other boyfriends.
No, God no.
I just I think you need to learn how to turn it off every once in a while, not just for me, but because it's good for you.
What do you mean? Look, as a nation, Americans are really bad at relaxing.
In 2015, we let 658 million vacation days go unused.
And even when we did go on vacation, 30% of us brought work to do.
But studies show that going on vacation actually makes people more productive when they go back to work, so it's really important to take time off.
And look, I really do love it when you ruin things.
That's what makes you Adam.
But I just think if you could take a break every once in a while, well, that's how you'll be the best Adam you can be.
Oh You taught me something.
Okay, I'll do it.
For the rest of the trip, no more ruining.
I am gonna relax.
Bartender, one virgin Mai Tai, please.
I'm proud of you, babe.
Of course, it does have a lot of sugar in it, and sugar is the primary cause of Wait.
Of course.
Almost ruined the moment.
Yeah.
Almost.
I think it's time I go see who else is out there I can learn from.
- (DOORBELL) - Hello, my Internet girlfriend! Can I live with you? How did we meet? It was so cute.
We were both editing the same Wikipedia page.
We got into this fight over what source to use for one of the citations.
So we started e-mailing.
And then we realized we both had a significant other die on the very first date.
So one thing led to another And a month ago, I showed up here in South Dakota unannounced and have been staying with her ever since.
Yeah, I know, you've told me this story three times already.
And it never gets old.
Well, you are a lucky man, Adam.
Melinda's the best fountain designer at our fountain design firm.
And she makes a mean brunch.
To new love.
Mmm.
Champagne's lovely.
Must have been expensive.
Oh.
- Should I say? - What? Well, pricy wines don't taste any better than cheap ones.
Even wine snobs can't tell the difference.
Boom, you're ruined! God, babe, you are so cute when you ruin stuff.
Melinda says I'm an L.
A.
six but a South Dakota 12.
Hey, look at the time.
Gosh, that went so well.
Even my boss loves you.
- I'm so amped.
- I know.
I used to be lonely and unhappy, but meeting you fixed me and it's gonna last forever.
Well, what else should we do to celebrate our love? Dinner with your parents? Oh, we can't, they're dead.
Oh, right.
What about a romantic vacation? I love it! We can go to my favorite place in all of South Dakota, Mount Rushmore.
Ooh, and then I can ruin it for you! - Oh, wait, what? - This is gonna be great.
Hi, I'm Adam Conover.
And I'm his girlfriend, Melinda Patel.
And this is "Adam Ruins Everything"! Oh, I love Mount Rushmore.
The history, the grandeur.
The outdoor freeze-resistant pedestal fountains.
It's America's greatest national monument.
I have to disagree.
Mouth Rushmore is America's weirdest national monument, not the greatest.
First, it's actually surprisingly small.
The heads are only 60 feet tall, or about one-tenth the size of the Washington Monument.
And it was also never finished.
The rubble at the base is just debris from the construction no one cleaned up.
But most importantly, the history of Mount Rushmore is real weird.
Oh, yeah.
I did always wonder why we carved president heads into the side of a mountain.
What's up with that? Well, this national monument was actually designed to be a national tourist trap.
In the 1920s, a group of South Dakota historians was trying to figure out how to attract tourists to their state.
Hmm How do we get people to come see our big, boring rocks? (GASPS) We'll carve wild west legends into them! Cowboy rocks Cowboy rocks (ALL) Cowboy rocks! Cowboy rocks! Cowboy rocks! Bit of a leap.
Unfortunately for them, the sculptor they hired, - a man named Gutzon Borglum - Eww, bad name.
Well, he had his own ideas.
Screw this wild west crap.
I shall fill your mountain with presidents! A noble project that will immortalize me, Gutzon Borglum.
Okay.
But then he carved all our greatest presidents.
Washington was the first, Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, Lincoln ended slavery and Roosevelt he liked hunting? (ANDY) And he was friends with the sculptor.
Teddy, you are the coolest.
I'm gonna sculpt your face into a mountain.
Wow.
- You're, like, obsessed with me.
- (FIRES RIFLE) That's the reason he was on the monument? And people were cool with that? They pretty much had to be.
Borglum was incredibly stubborn about doing things his way.
In fact, his original plan for the monument was a little bit too ambitious.
I'll sculpt the heads, then their entire torsos, and inside the heads, I'll build a hall of records, and that's where we'll store the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence! He wanted to put the Constitution in a mountain in South Dakota? I mean, I love South Dakota, and even I think that's insane.
Yep.
Borglum became so obsessed that Congress even threatened to cut his funding.
I'm not paying for your passion project.
Stick to the sculpture or you're cut off, Borglum! But he had only finished the heads when, in 1941, he died.
Uhh! Oh, come on! Since the sculptor was dead and the project was out of money, his workers decided to call it quits.
Well, we did the heads and Borglum's dead.
Time for us to go to bed.
Okay, so the sculptor was a maniac whose name sounds like some Swedish muppet's death rattle, and the monument was never finished.
That's not so bad.
And it was built on stolen Native American land.
Yeah, that's worse.
(ANDY) In 1868, the United States signed a treaty agreeing that this land would remain part of the Sioux Nation.
We've taken a lot from y'all, so you keep this land and we'll stay out.
(ANDY) But six years later, that all changed when General Custer found gold.
You found what? It's worth how much? Sorry! Should have said "no take-backsies.
" It was a real Custer fluck.
In 1980, the Supreme Court ruled this land grab unconstitutional, and ordered federal compensation now worth over $1 billion.
The problem is, the Sioux don't want the money.
So to this day, it's sitting on hold in the U.
S.
Treasury.
Wait.
Why don't you take the money? It was never about the money.
We just want our land back.
Think about it.
Our government broke a treaty, stole Native American land and then carved our own leaders' faces into it.
That's such an insult.
And for what? So tourists can come see a big version of the heads on our money? I never thought I'd say this, but North Dakota was right.
Mount Rushmore does suck.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to ruin your favorite place.
I just thought you'd want to know the real history.
No, it's fine.
How about this? Why don't we do something you like, so there's nothing to ruin? Well, I love games.
Ooh, and there's a gas station in Aberdeen that has a Ms.
Pac Man machine.
I think we can do better.
Why don't we go to Vegas? We can point out all the engineering flaws in the Bellagio fountain, - then hit the slots.
- That sounds great.
Except slot machines aren't games at all.
They're deliberately engineered addiction machines! Babe, remember, we're on vacation.
You don't have to find something to ruin everywhere ver mind, I see that you do.
(SNAPS FINGERS) Here we are, Sin City.
So glamorous.
Hey, they even have slot machines right in the lobby.
Wait a minute.
Adam, is that you? Yeah, once you have a TV show, you kinda lose control over what they put your face on.
Well, I'm gonna go score us tickets to Carrot Top.
We have the same hair guy.
Don't play these.
You know, they suck you right in.
But why shouldn't I play it? It's just a slot machine.
(ANDY) Actually, today's slot machines don't just steal your money, they're deliberately engineered addiction.
Interesting marketing strategy.
Definitely gonna play this one now.
Oh, I get it, I got sucked in.
Whatever, I'm not gonna get addicted.
(ANDY) In the old days, you wouldn't have.
Early slot machines were so simple, they were barely thought of as gambling.
Aw, shucks, Cal, we lost again.
No matter.
Let's cap off this harmless fun with a harmless cocaine cola.
But as slot machines became computerized in the '80s, casinos realized that frequent slot players could be even more profitable than the high rollers who play table games, so they began to look for ways to make slot machines harder to win and more enticing to play.
All right, Mr.
Computer.
Let's get these chumps hooked.
(ANDY) In the old mechanical slot machines, the reels were controlled by gears, and the odds of landing on any given stop were equal with each spin.
But these new slots are capable of hundreds of different virtual stops.
That means casinos can program different odds for each symbol, and it takes a lot more plays to win.
And they're also programmed to land on more near-misses.
A near-miss makes it look like you almost hit the jackpot which psychologically tricks you into feeling like you can improve your luck the more you play.
Next time will be different.
(ANDY) Yes, it will.
Because now, things are even worse.
Today, most machines are video slots.
Bigger, flashier and even more addictive.
So many chances to win.
(ANDY) Modern slot machines are designed to be so confusing that it's really hard to tell when you're actually losing.
Whoo! I'm a winner! Actually, you're not.
You bet a dollar, but you only won 50 cents.
This is called a false win.
The lights still flash and the buzzer sound, so even though you lost money, you still feel like you're winning and keep on spinning.
Whatever.
I can stop if I want.
You can try, but you'll be fighting your own brain.
With each false win, you get a tiny hit of dopamine, the chemical that activates your brain's reward centers.
(DING) Whoa, Mama! The old noggin noodle's loving this.
I am in the zone.
The zone is what gamblers call it when they're completely absorbed in the flow of a game, and using player loyalty cards, casinos track your every move to keep you there.
Ooh, shiny! (ANDY) The data on your player loyalty card tells the casino which games you like, how much money you bet, even what snacks you order.
Most importantly, they also know when you tend to get frustrated and walk away.
Huh.
I haven't won in a while.
Maybe I should stop.
Oh, she's coming out of it.
Send in the luck ambassador, now! Complimentary fried cheese? Guess I could stay a little while longer.
Back in the zone, baby! Some machines are so sophisticated, they don't even need to interrupt your game.
When you reach your frustration point, they just put a play credit right on your screen.
The goal of all this tracking is to keep you hooked and in the zone as long as possible.
Away, slot machine boyfriend.
I'm no gambling addict.
I can stop any time.
I'm sorry, Melinda, but the design of these games is so addictive, they're not just preying on problem gamblers, they're creating them.
This is Natasha Dow Schull, associate professor at NYU and the author of "Addiction by Design.
" Casinos would love you to believe that some of us are born addicts and the rest of us will never develop a problem.
But according to a 2002 study, people who regularly play slot machines become addicted three to four times faster than people who play other games, even if they've never had a problem before.
I've met people whose lives were destroyed by their addiction to slots.
They've gotten divorced, they've gone bankrupt, they've gone to jail, they've even committed suicide.
That's terrible.
But the casino wants us to gamble responsibly.
That's just them trying to shift the blame onto you.
That little sticker does nothing compared to this hardcore addiction machine, and the casino has no incentive to do anything that could actually protect its customers because slot machines are such a huge moneymaker.
Upwards of 85% of a casino's profits come from slots, and multiple studies have shown that problem gamblers generate 30% to 60% of total gambling revenues.
Casinos are making addictive products and profiting off of the addicts they create.
Slot machines are deliberately engineered addiction.
Deliberately engineered addiction.
Deliberately engineered addiction.
Will somebody shut this thing up? Okay, my sweet, two tickets to No, no, no, Adam, we gotta get out of here.
I can't believe it but you This machine ruined Vegas for me.
Can't we just go to a beach somewhere where we can get fun tropical drinks with little umbrellas in them and just relax? No more ruining? Like, what if we just went to Hawaii? That sounds perfect.
Just don't ask how Hawaii became part of the U.
S.
, because that story is real messed up.
No, see, that's what I'm talking about Look, Melinda, I got laid! I've always wanted to do and say that.
Oh, now, this is relaxing.
Let's just sit back, sip our drinks and enjoy all this traditional Hawaiian culture.
Yeah.
Every year, over 8 million tourists come to Hawaii thinking they're getting a traditional Hawaiian experience, but the truth is, most of this isn't traditional at all.
Adam, that sounded like the beginning of a ruin.
You promised! Just relax.
Of course, of course.
But real quick Tiki bars were invented by a California restaurant owner and hula dancers only started wearing grass skirts on the U.
S.
vaudeville circuit.
And let me guess.
Hawaii was taken from the natives by General Custer and a sleazy casino owner.
Did I get it? Ruin over.
Nope.
The real story of Hawaii is way weirder and darker than that, and the real irony is, almost no one knows about it.
Come on, I'll show you! (SNAPS FINGERS) (ANDY) Long before it became a state, Hawaii was a full-fledged sovereign nation.
They had a queen.
No splashing, everyone! No splashing.
(ANDY) A democratically elected house of representatives.
All those in favor of Marco, say Polo.
(ALL) Polo! (ANDY) And ambassadors all over the world.
So then I said aloha, and aloha! - (LAUGHING) - Classic Hawaii! I love your country.
Wow, I had no idea.
So what happened? We just straight up invaded them, didn't we? What? No, come on.
This is a sovereign country.
We wouldn't just take it.
Not yet, you wouldn't.
The strange story of Hawaiian statehood begins with a group of white Hawaiian businessmen.
What's up? Wait, they're white and Hawaiian? Yeah, we're the descendents of Christian missionaries.
And us white guys could do a way better job running this place.
Cheers, brahs.
They called themselves the Hawaiian League, and they were basically a secret club for powerful racists.
So powerful that in 1893, they threatened a violent coup and forced the queen to give up her throne.
Out of the pool, Queen! I have no choice.
- Hawaii is yours.
- (MEN) Whoo! What? How? Did they have an army? Nope, but a corrupt U.
S.
ambassador did.
Hey, U.
S.
ambassador.
I was thinking maybe you could back me up with some marines 'til this little coup is over.
That's against the law.
But what the heck? I mean, you're letting us keep the navy at Pearl Harbor.
The Hawaiian League also realized it would be better for trade if they became part of the United States, so they appealed for annexation.
Me and the ambassador have been thinking, if you annex Hawaii, I'll make a lot of scratch.
You'll basically have military control over the entire Pacific, bro.
It would be rad.
Hey! That's against the rules! You can't sign that treaty with them.
They stole my country.
I have a petition from 95% of native Hawaiians saying we do not want to be part of the United States.
Ambassador! Did you help to overthrow a foreign government? You put me in a real bind here.
Old Uncle Sam doesn't know what to do.
Conflicted, America didn't make up its mind for years until the start of the Spanish-American War.
- Hola.
- Spain? Get outta here! Okay, that's it.
This is America now.
Get 'em, boys! Ay! Ay! No, no! No! Get off of me! So Congress declared they were annexing Hawaii, and they were officially declared a U.
S.
territory.
We still live here.
My people aren't just going away, you know? - Oh, whatever! - Come on.
This is insane.
America just took Hawaii? Yes, that's actually how it happened.
And it was illegal.
This is Williamson Chang.
He's a law professor at the University of Hawaii.
According to international law in 1898, the only way to annex another country is by war or treaty, but the United States never invaded Hawaii and treaty attempts died in Congress.
Instead, they passed a joint resolution, which is only supposed to apply to domestic affairs, not acquiring a foreign sovereign nation.
That means that the annexation of Hawaii was illegal under our own laws.
And the saddest part is that for years, many Hawaiians didn't know this history existed.
The real story wasn't taught in the schools.
They were told that the treaty was legal and many native Hawaiians believed it.
That's terrible.
So today, our community is divided.
There are those who would like to see the kingdom restored.
Others think it's in Hawaii's best interest to remain part of the United States.
Regardless, an apology for the annexation of 1898 would be a huge step forward.
But until then, why don't we start with a complimentary Mai Tai? (MOANS) Americans travel to Hawaii every year on vacation, but when we do, almost none of us realize that this was once a respected sovereign nation and we just kinda took it.
This is awful.
Oh, I know.
America's history of foreign policy is No, I mean, this is awful.
We were supposed to be having a fun, relaxing vacation together, but everywhere we went, you just ruined things.
This was a terrible first trip together.
Here.
Go get laid by yourself.
Wow.
You are history's greatest monster.
Hello, we are here behind the scenes at "Adam Ruins Everything.
" I'm here with professor Williamson Chang because I have way more questions for him about the history of Hawaii.
So I'm very curious about the culture of Hawaii.
What was it like before, you know, it became part of the United States and how did the culture change? Well, Hawaii was a kingdom.
1887, lolani Palace had lights before the White House.
- Really? Electric lights? - Electric lights.
The native Hawaiian people were declared the most literate people on earth.
They came from a culture which was completely sustainable before the first Westerner came.
Hawaii had 800,000 people on these islands who lived off the land and on the water.
Today, we only have, let's say five days worth of food on the island.
If that's gone, we're in great trouble.
So before the 800,000 people - They were absolutely sustainable.
- Wow.
They didn't have money, there was no need for private property.
Everyone had a place in society.
It was very, very harmonious.
Well, we'll be right back with more "Adam Ruins Everything" and more Williamson Chang right after this.
Hello, we're back behind the scenes here on "Adam Ruins Everything" with Professor Williamson Chang, 'cause we got a couple more questions about the history of Hawaii.
How did things change after after annexation? Well, the majority of people, the plurality of voters were native Hawaiian.
Then after the overthrow, Hawaiians couldn't vote.
They weren't allowed to vote.
Native Hawaiians were not allowed to vote in the state or federal governments? They didn't have power.
Because, like in the south of the United States, there were barriers to voting, like you had to own $600 worth of property and have an income of so and so, and Hawaiians couldn't qualify.
You had to be loyal and Hawaiians weren't gonna side with those who overthrew the queen.
Hawaiians were so unhappy, so depressed, they began to lose their sense of place.
By the time they were allowed to vote in 1959, they had become a small minority.
So the question of what we do with this information is such a difficult one, because this was happened over a hundred years ago.
You're absolutely right.
The history of Hawaii has been kept from Hawaiians, there's been deliberate deception, but it's been over 100 years, what do you do? Even though with the original, you know, annexation was illegal, it's sort of the political reality today, so That's a very good point.
So it's difficult to know how we would I mean, how would you like to see the issue addressed? This is a question that requires deep thought.
There are many Hawaiians who say, "Oh, we want the kingdom back.
" Some people are saying, "Well, why do you want to go back to a monarchy?" The question is, after 100 years of being told you don't you're not a country, you're not a people, no one's ready.
But it seems like the most important thing is to have an open conversation about this.
The worst part is that the government and the people writing the textbooks aren't open about it and aren't honest about what happened.
Well, it's like the South African experience, so much wrong for so long.
Nelson Mandela said, let's have a process called truth and then reconciliation.
So what we're doing today is great because it's the first step is the truth.
Well, thank you so much for coming on the show, Professor Chang.
And now, back to "Adam Ruins Everything.
" Melinda, are you mad? No, I'm just sketching a new fountain.
It shoots a column of water 100 feet into the air, which then lands directly on your dumb, adorable face, because, yes, I'm mad.
Yeah.
That's what I thought.
I just don't get why you couldn't just relax and spend time with me.
Ruining is just what I do.
It's how I connect with people.
I thought you liked it.
But when you're constantly correcting me and fingersnapping your learning ghosts everywhere, and telling me everything I like has a terrible history, it makes me feel like I'm not good enough for you or something.
I didn't know you felt that way.
Probably wish I would die, just like all your other boyfriends.
No, God no.
I just I think you need to learn how to turn it off every once in a while, not just for me, but because it's good for you.
What do you mean? Look, as a nation, Americans are really bad at relaxing.
In 2015, we let 658 million vacation days go unused.
And even when we did go on vacation, 30% of us brought work to do.
But studies show that going on vacation actually makes people more productive when they go back to work, so it's really important to take time off.
And look, I really do love it when you ruin things.
That's what makes you Adam.
But I just think if you could take a break every once in a while, well, that's how you'll be the best Adam you can be.
Oh You taught me something.
Okay, I'll do it.
For the rest of the trip, no more ruining.
I am gonna relax.
Bartender, one virgin Mai Tai, please.
I'm proud of you, babe.
Of course, it does have a lot of sugar in it, and sugar is the primary cause of Wait.
Of course.
Almost ruined the moment.
Yeah.
Almost.