American Dragon: Jake Long (2005) s02e09 Episode Script

1
[Cheering]
Aah!
Ohh!
Unh. Surrender
the ukrono hourglass,
and I promise you
a quick end.
You want the ukrono,
huntsfool
Come and get it.
[Screams]
It's a base hit for the am drag.
The crowd goes wild.
[Imitates crowd cheering]
You are no match for me.
I've been hunting your kind
for 20 years.
How nice for you.
Aah!
Ground ball up the middle--
[cheering]
Now where could Jake be?
Is he still studying
at the library?
Actually, daddy,
he's on a mission to get--
A mission to get
an "a" in english.
Ha ha. Aw, that is
my little jakester.
Always got both feet
on the ground.
The hourglass is mine. Uhh.
Ohh
Huh? Say what?
Look, Jake's on TV.
Library my aunt Fifi.
Uh-huh. You know it.
Say what?
Say whoo-whoo.
He's cool, he's hot
like a frozen sun ♪
He's young and fast,
he's the chosen one ♪
People,
we're not braggin' ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
He's gonna stop his enemies
with his dragon power ♪
Dragon teeth, dragon tail,
burnin' dragon fire ♪
A real live wire ♪
American dragon ♪
American dragon ♪
He's the American dragon ♪
His skills are
gettin' faster ♪
With grandpa,
the master ♪
His destiny,
what's up, g? ♪
It's showtime, baby,
for the legacy ♪
I'm a dragon,
and I'm braggin' ♪
I'm the magical protector
from the N.Y.C. ♪
Ya heard? ♪
American dragon ♪
Yeow!
No TV or video games
for 2 weeks?
Uh-huh. You lied to us,
little mister,
and in this house, you do
the crime, you do the time.
Do you have anything
to say for yourself?
It's just I had
to do my duty.
I mean,
I'm the American
Uh-huh. Well, let's hear it,
Mr. Baseball.
You're the American what?
I'm the
The American kid
who's grounded.
Jake.
I'm really sorry
about tonight.
Mom, do you have any idea
how often I've taken
the heat from dad
about magical stuff
he doesn't know about?
Well, if you didn't
eat all the cookies,
who the heck did?
Magical elves?
Oh, now, for the last time,
bedtime means bedtime.
The world won't end
if you're in bed by 10:00.
Actually, it kinda will.
Do you honestly expect me
to believe
that a dog
ate your homework?
It's like dad doesn't even know
who I am, who we are.
All these years. Didn't you
ever wanna tell him the truth?
Come with me.
It was the last day
of high school.
June 27th, 1986.
Your dad and I had been
going out a year,
so I decided
to write him a letter
and tell him the truth.
The existence
of magical creatures,
all of it.
I was going to slip it
into his locker that day,
but I just couldn't.
Don't you ever wonder what
might've happened, you know,
if you'd told him the truth?
Every day.
But trust me, Jake,
some secrets
are better left secret.
Ah, yes,
the ukrono hourglass,
built by nordic elves
back in 1103 a.D.
Yeah? Well, that hunk of junk
got me grounded for 2 weeks.
Jake, that junk has the power
to transcend the boundaries
of time.
If it fell into the wrong hands,
who knows what untold horrors
could be unleashed
throughout magical history.
What about the untold horrors
of no TV for 2 weeks?
The cag-ed lion does not roar
because it is cag-ed.
It roars because--aah!
That's a new one.
No. It's my back again.
[Speaking Chinese]
I fell from a ladder the day
we first opened the shop.
Tell me about it.
I'm the one you fell on.
Come on, kid, we gotta
find a safe place
to stash this thing.
So what you're saying
is if someone wanted
to use this thingy
to go back to, say,
June 27th, 1986,
they just flip these
little doohickeys around,
and punch in the date
and turn it over?
Yeah. It's actually
kinda cool the way--
uh-uh, no way.
Don't even think about it.
Time traveling's a bad idea.
One little change, and you
could end up thrashing
the entire fabric
of space and time.
Or I can change things
for the better.
Fu, there's a whole
side of my family
that my dad
doesn't know about.
I have the chance
to change that,
the chance to reverse
the last 20 years
and redo everything
without the lies,
the secrets,
ach, I'm sorry, kid, really,
but it's just too dangerous.
I'm sorry, too, fu.
Ahh
But I gotta do
what I gotta--
no.
Don't turn it
Unh.
Over.
I-I think it worked.
Fu, check it out.
It's my school.
All I gotta do is make sure
mom gives dad that letter,
and we can get out of here.
Uch, is there anything I can say
to change your mind?
Pretty much, no.
Uhh, all right,
let's make it quick.
So, this is 1986.
This is what I call
kicking it old school.
These finals are heinous
to the Max, fer sure.
It's, like,
gag me with a spoon.
Wow, nuggets made of chickens.
That is so rad.
Jake: No way.
Uh those are
my parents.
Susan, I want to share
something with you,
something
very special.
Ahem.
Uh, what the heck's
he doin'?
Aah!
It's my latest
break-dance moves,
sweet potato.
I call it my popalackin',
electric-zappin',
bugaloo-sluggin',
fliptastic shovel.
What do you think?
It's tubular, Jonathan.
And so are you.
I'll see you at
the beach party tonight.
Till then, sugar num-nums.
[Gibberish]
[Thud]
I'm ok.
I'm amazed he made it
to adulthood.
Man, so close.
Done the do, fu.
Let's roll.
Not just yet.
I know that smell.
It's sloppy Joe day.
You sure your old man's
gonna take the news ok?
Totally. He may be
kind of uptight sometimes,
but deep down,
my dad's a cool dude.
Susan! You're--you're
a monster?!
Jonathan, how did you even--
I mean, I can explain.
Explain what?
That my girlfriend
is a grody to the Max
fire-breathing dragon?
I told you, it skipped
my generation,
but my whole family--
No, I don't wanna hear
any more. We are finished!
La la la la la la la ♪
I can't hear you.
La la la la ♪
[Hums gibberish]
He just needs
a little space.
I mean, in 20 years, this file'd
be, like, ancient history.
Right?
Guess again, kid.
If your folks don't
get back together,
you're gonna be
ancient history.
Aw, man!
We gotta get your parents
to kiss and make up
before the sand runs out.
Where we goin' again?
To see the one guy
who can help us.
Sheesh, didn't you guys
ever have customers?
Ehh, we better go in
through the back.
Look at those graphics.
Today's technology is amazing.
[Pounding on door]
Yeah, yeah, I'm comin'.
Well, well, well. Look who's
been time traveling again.
Note to self--
Lay off the cannolis.
What can I say?
We never learn.
So, nice place.
Wait a minute,
don't tell me.
I don't even wanna know.
Didn't this joker
tell you what happened
the last time he--
I mean, I--i mean,
we used the ukrono?
So this is the island
of Atlantis.
Huh, I wonder what this does.
Look, the old man's gonna freak
if he sees us together,
so we need you to scram
for a day or so.
Uh-uh, no way.
As an official
animal guardian,
it is my moral obligation
to protect the continuity--
here.
The bus to Atlantic city
leaves in an hour.
Avoid the shrimp.
Ok, kid, here's the plan.
I'll go in and tell the old man
about the break-up.
Once he hears
how heartbroken your mom is,
he'll convince your folks
to get back together
and history will be
right on track.
Susan and Jonathan broke up?
[Speaks Chinese]
Thank the sweet heavens.
I've been praying
she'd cast off
that meatheaded mortal
for months. Whoo-hoo.
No, you gotta convince her
to get back with Jonathan.
All right, I will persuade
my only daughter
to devote her entire future
to this ridiculous,
non-magical misfit.
Not! Ha ha ha. Not. Not.
I just heard that today.
Very humorous. Ha ha ha.
Have you gained weight?
This is Lana, the love lady.
Jonathan from Fillmore high,
how's your love life?
Terrible.
We were supposed to be going
to this halley's comet party
but I just
found out my girlfriend
is some kind of dragon.
Dragons partying
at Jones beach
I locked in the frequency.
Next caller.
Got it.
Master.
Young apprentice,
we have information on
a possible dragon gathering.
It is time
for your first hunt.
I shall show no mercy
and slay my first dragon.
Dude, is his voice
ever gonna change?
Ha ha ha.
Ok, plan b--your mom
and dad were supposed to go
to that beach party.
If we can get 'em there
and reunite their va-va-voom,
we're back in business.
I'll bring your old man.
You handle your mom.
How am I supposed to--
Susan, it is for the best.
You are better off with
someone who walks forward.
Someone with a hairstyle
befitting to this planet.
Someone--aah!
Someone magical.
Young dragon,
I am in your debt.
Who are you?
Uh, my name is, uh
B-Beyonce Timberlake.
I'm the, uh,
Canadian dragon. Eh?
Beyonce Timberlake?
What kind of bogus name
is Beyonce Timberlake?
Perhaps the name
of your future husband.
As if. Dad, I still
love Jonathan.
I understand,
my lotus flower.
A broken heart
needs time to heal.
Well, time's up.
[Whistles]
Jones beach, keep
the meter running,
and have them back
by midnight.
Who needs a stupid
beach party?
I can have plenty of fun
right here.
Holy hammocks. I did it.
It took me 3 years,
but I finally finished it.
Whoa. What in the?
You grody mutt.
Get back here.
Beyonce, I'm really sorry
my dad put you up to this.
It's cool. As far as
I'm concerned,
[accent]
It's all about
you and Jonathan.
This is hopeless.
He isn't coming.
Jonathan's never gonna
accept me for who I am.
Mom, no. Wait.
Come back.
I am never
time traveling again.
Fu, we're gonna need
a plan c. Mom bailed.
What?
Kid, time's almost up.
I believe
That's mine.
Wha-what's going on here?
Hey, dad--i mean, dude,
I know you don't know me,
but it's really important
you and Susan
get back together.
Lives depend on it.
I'm from the future,
and you and Susan
are my parents.
Yeah, right. And I suppose
that's a magical talking dog.
You are correct, sir.
Aah!
See? That's you
and that's mom
and that's me
and that's
your daughter.
We're a really
happy family,
except that
you ground me,
a lot.
Uh-huh, yeah. Look,
whatever your name is,
this has been the worst
day of my life, ok?
The girl of my dreams
is a dragon,
there's dog slobber
on my puzzle game,
and I can't get my collar
to stay up to save my life.
So if this is some kind
of sick joke
Dragon up.
Now do you believe me?
Aah! [Stammers]
Could this day
get any worse?
It just did, dragon.
It's you. The huntsman.
Dude, what's with the voice?
You sound like an accordion
stuck in a wood chipper.
No one makes fun
of my voice.
Whoa!
Hah. At last, I shall slay
my first dragon.
Aah!
Whoa-a-a-a! Oof.
Get used to having me
whip you, huntspunk,
'cause in about 20 years,
I'm gonna be--waah!
Whoa!
Enjoy my detonator, dragon.
[Beeping]
No way am I fetching that.
Huh?
Yaah!
Take cover.
Show yourself, dragon.
[Both coughing]
Oh, no, dad!
No, no! This is
all my fault.
It's because of my letter.
Dad, we have to save him.
There, there.
We will do our best.
Although, my daughter,
there are still plenty
of fish in the sea.
Ok, ok. I was just
putting it out there.
Look, there's gotta be
some way we can find him.
I didn't want
to show you this,
but, uh Ha ha ha.
I have been using
an enchanted compass
to keep track of Jonathan
on your dates.
My darling, I may possess
all the magic and strength
of a great dragon warrior,
but I am also a single dad.
For the last time,
if you value your life,
you will tell me
everything you know.
I will tell you nothing!
Very well.
Ohh
[Beast roars]
In the tenth grade,
I filled my teacher's trunk
with 3-bean salad.
In the seventh grade,
I drove our lawnmower over
our sister's pool
And in sixth grade,
I took all the money I made
for the less fortunate
and spent it at the arcade!
Tell us the location
of the dragons.
Why put yourself in
harm's way just to protect
some hideous monsters?
See? That's you
and that's mom
and that's me
and that's your daughter.
We're a really happy family.
The only monsters I see
are you!
Check it.
He's defending us.
He's so brave.
My daughter,
if an ordinary human
is destined
to be your true love,
I suppose
you could do worse.
Very well. Let's begin.
Aah.
Dragon up!
[All scream]
That's right, am dragon--
I mean, can drags
in the hizzouse.
Looking for me?
Get him.
[Beast roars]
Who dares?
Look out,
sweet potato!
Aah!
Ohh!
Say goodbye, dragon.
Wha?
Aah!
Oops, that's gotta hurt
with the clawing and pinching.
Yo, let's blow this crib.
[Screaming]
Oh, please tell me
we caught that on the
surveillance cameras.
Dude, did you hear him?
He was, "say goodbye, dragon,"
and he was all, "no! Help me!
It hurts! Ow!"
Dragons--i will slay each
and every one of them
if it takes until
the end of time.
[Yells; Echoes]
Uh, wha-what happened?
You tripped over a boom box
and hit your head.
What about the freakos
who were torturing me?
They wanted information
about you guys being dragons.
We had that fight, remember?
Dragons? Dude,
sounds like
somebody's mp3 file's
been corrupted.
My what? So Susan and I
aren't really your parents?
Parents? Oh, Jonathan,
you really must've hit
your head hard.
Uh, kid, we gotta scram.
Well, I gotta get back
to Canada. Good day, eh?
May your journey be safe,
Beyonce Timberlake.
Thank you
for everything.
If we can ever
return the favor
Don't worry, you will.
Susan, look.
It's halley's comet.
I thought it was
pronounced Haley?
Haley. I've always
liked that name.
Hey, g, what's up?
How's your back feelin'?
My back? It's fine.
Why do you ask?
You know, your bad back from
when you fell off the ladder
in nineteen eighty--
Kid, ixnay
on the ackbay, huh?
Oh, right. 'Cause that never--
So you never--
Fu dog
[Scolds in Chinese]
You have been
time traveling again,
haven't you?
Look, I promise, I will
never, ever, ever do this
kind of thing ever again.
Is this a bad time?
Heh heh heh heh heh.
Oh, boy.
Morning, dad.
Morning, mom.
Morning, Haley.
Wow, someone's awfully chipper
this morning.
What can I say? I'm happy
for everything we have here,
just the way it is.
You know, you and mom together,
me and Haley existing.
Jake, I hope you don't think
I like punishing you.
It's just I can't
bear the thought
of seeing you hurt.
Your mother and I
talked about your grounding,
and, well
We've decided to let you off
with a warning this time.
Have a good day, all.
Of course. I just hate
seeing you get punished
for something
you didn't--
what the?
Time traveling?
And on a school night?
You are grounded,
young man. No TV.
No video games.
2 weeks.
Aw, man!
Here's me reintroducing
the concept of a toga party
to the romans.
Here I'm telling Betsy Ross
that red, white and blue
would make a pretty
color combination.
And this here's
my contribution
to art history.
Yeah, she was all smiles
until--[Belches]
Blame it on
the 2 dozen meatballs I ate
for breakfast that morning.