Back to the Future (1991) s02e09 Episode Script

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) MAN: (SINGING) Tell me, Doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the '50s Or 1999? All I wanted to do Was play my guitar and sing So take me away I don't mind But you better promise me I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time I'll be back in time Gotta get back in time Greetings, friends, Emmett L.
Brown down here.
Lost in the modern desert and searching for water.
Some people believe it can be done with one of these, called a "divining rod", or dowser.
(ROD WHINING) Eureka! Hoover Dam and the Colorado River! I, of course, believe that using this map of the area was a lot more intelligent choice.
Divining rods do work very well as walking sticks, or something to hang your coat on, however.
Hoover Dam is capable of generating 1,940 mega watts, and we could have used some of those watts in Hill Valley not too long ago.
The electricity went out and I felt absolutely, well, powerless.
It all started as we were preparing the annual Founder's Day celebration.
WORKER: I hate Founder's Day.
Every year I put up these posters, and every year I hit my thumbalina! (SCREAMING) VERNE: This mule looks more like a giant rat on stilts! We shoulda made a paper-mache monster smash-up truck! They're cool! The pioneer's mule is a sacred symbol of Founder's Day.
The judges are sure to award us a trophy.
Or a big bag of rat chow.
They should give you brat chow! CLARA: What's all that ruckus out there? Honestly, those boys don't realize that the spirit of Founder's Day is for all of us to work together.
Emmett! Get your filthy shoes off my costume! Ugh, but, Clara-boo, being in charge of the food booth (GRUNTS) is of the utmost importance.
(LOUD CRASHING) (EXCLAIMS) CLARA: Dad-gummet, Emmett.
Now, Clara-bell, let's not be hasty.
Perhaps Father could help us.
Some stinkin' help! And we were gonna win a trophy! CLARA: You just work out in the lab and we'll holler when something else needs ruining.
Ah, Clara, you're so cute when you're sarcastic.
(GRUNTS) (SNORING) (DOC HUMMING) Thank you, Einie.
(PHONE RINGING) Pre-Founder's Day greetings! Emmett, this is Sheriff Taylor.
Hello, Andy.
I'm callin' all the kooks, nuts and mad scientists in town with this warning.
Don't do nothin' wacko, like short out the power and foul up our Founder's Day celebration.
No, Sheriff, I was just perfecting the E.
L.
B Hot Diggity Dogger.
This baby'll boil and serve Whoo! That's a lot of wiener water.
But heed my warning, Emmett! No monkey business! (POUNDING ON DOOR) Huh? What? Brown, I'm throwing a party in a couple of hours.
Why, Mr.
Tannen.
Biff, I'm touched.
A party would be lovely.
I'm not invitin' you, knucklehead.
I need some chairs.
Good afternoon.
And what goofball thing-a-ma-doo-dad is this? I was just about to test Uh, say, Mr.
Tannen, might I use you as a guinea Uh, offer you a hot dog? BIFF: I am gonna need extra energy carryin' back all those chairs you're loanin' me.
Me and some pals are gonna watch the Founder's Day tractor-pull contest on Channel 93.
Hey, that's a little bit of all right.
It worked! Say, Brown, how did you (SCREAMS) Customer bypasses beverage.
Perhaps should try diet soda.
Oof.
If I want abuse, I'll go home to Biff Jr.
Allow me to make amends with my E.
L.
B yo-bub-no-stub folding chairs.
Radar-equipped and programed to scoot out of the way.
Thus avoiding injury to this little piggy.
BIFF: Big deal.
Just don't expect me to clean 'em when I'm done.
And don't keep buggin' me about bringin' 'em back.
Now to test my super sudsy soap for the clean-up cycle.
Two drops oughta do it.
One and two.
(EXPLOSION) Perhaps that was one drop too many! (SNIFFS) Ah, but that lemon scent adds the perfect touch.
(BUBBLING) Emmett Lathrup Brown, scientist, husband and father, or just another name for disaster? While you're cleaning up your mess, I'm taking the boys to the tractor-pull contest.
Yeah! All right! And find a new lab! (ENGINE ROARS) Or you'll have to find a new family! Have Bunsen burner, will travel.
Hmm, perhaps the McFlys will allow me to complete my work in their garage.
Is that better? MAN: Oh, yeah.
Perfect! That is, if it's snowin' at the tractor-pull contest! After the money I win on Muddy Mama, I'm gonna buy me one of them, uh, new satellite plates.
Better reception and Swedish TV.
(ALL LAUGHING) Biff, don't tell me you bet on that broken-down tractor.
Monster Mayhem's gonna knock Muddy Mama flat on her keester.
(LAUGHS) (GRUNTS) You kiddin'? After tonight, I'm gonna be sittin' pretty! Whoa! Wait till I get my mitts on that nut-case Brown.
Hey, Doc, our garage is your garage.
Although it may be a tad messy.
Great Scott! Hey, I said it was messy.
No! Look at the power source! This is a one-ten non-grounded outlet.
Not nearly enough voltage for my custom power tools.
Ah-ha! Tapping directly into that transformer will suffice.
It sounds dangerous.
Should I call 911 now? DOC: Nonsense! This shall be as easy as "pi R-squared.
" (GLASS SHATTERS) That is, if I open up the window first.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) ANNOUNCER: (ON TV) Fish head pull.
Muddy Mama is closing in on Monster Mayhem.
Come on, Mama, pull them fish heads! I know you got the power, baby! Ooh, terrific party, Tannen.
(LOUD CLAMORING) DOC: Marty, I think I've done enough work for one night.
MARTY: Don't you mean, "enough damage"? BARNEY: Sheriff Taylor, Sheriff Taylor! The power's off all over town! I know it, Barney.
I'd type up a warrant for Doc Brown's arrest if my electric typewriter was working.
I wonder if Clara knows I'm responsible for blacking out the entire city.
She knows.
ALL: (CHANTING) Doc Brown is a clown! The lights are down in our fair town! Boo, Emmett! My son can't study by firelight.
He's no Abe Lincoln, you know! How do you expect Dennis to recharge my electric golf cart? And we all missed the end of that tractor-pull contest.
Oh, for land sakes, what are you ladies so het up about? Since the refrigeration units don't work, the produce is half-price.
Which makes it cheaper to do this! (SHRIEKS) (CROWD CLAMORING) BOYS: (CHANTING) Daddy is a genius! Daddy is a genius! There's lots of space behind his face because his brain's on Venus.
JULES: If you don't stop, you're gonna drop when my fist comes between us! You release my brother this instant! Sure.
Sure.
VERNE: Whaaa! Thanks, skunkhead.
We have Father to thank.
I wonder if the family will let me back inside tonight? I suspect that this constitutes a negative.
Ah, if only there was a way I could make amends to the city.
I've got it! I know how to fix the problem and provide unlimited free power to the entire city! All I need are a few supplies from the Hardware Hut.
Woof! No, go fish.
(SINGING) Gray skies are going to evaporate Put on a felicitous countenance (TIRES SCREECHING) Hold it right there, Doc.
Oh, Sheriff Taylor! Was I walking in excess of the speed limit? Don't make me haw-haw.
(TIRES SCREECHING) (BRAKES SCREECH) You're a threat to this town's welfare! (TIRES SCREECH) Not to mention I've gotta wash my dishes by hand and compact my trash by foot! Show your face around here again and I'll put it behind bars! MARTY: Eh, Doc, I don't think this is such a great idea.
DOC: Now, Marty, Sheriff Taylor merely said not to show my face.
How do I look? Well, like a cross between wild Bill Hickock and the Phantom of the Opera.
Perfect! No one will recognize me, not even my own mother.
(CAR HORN HONKING) Howdy, stranger.
Howdy, Doc.
Oh! MARTY: Can't you just tell me what you need and I'll go get it? You buying hardware would look very suspicious, Marty-san.
Oh, yeah, I'd stand out like a sore thumb among all those geisha girls.
Thanks, ma'am.
Say, enjoy your stay here in the US of A.
Domo arigato gozaimasu.
Whoo! Say, while I'm here I might as well pick up a few things I've been needing.
Oh, no, you don't, Doc Brown.
That sheriff disguise won't fool me! Mmm-mmm.
No way! (CRASHES) MARTY: Can you see all right? A little lower.
(SPEAKING IN LOW VOICE) Can you see all right? Finished! Ow! Behold, the world's most efficient generator.
I call it the hydro-luna-sol-winderator.
Drawing energy from water, wind, sunlight and moonlight, it should supply unlimited free power.
Yeah, too bad it also blocks traffic.
(ELECTRICITY BUZZING) Okay, Marty.
Here goes nothing.
(MACHINE POWERING UP) Marty, look! MARTY: Whoa, brainstorm, Doc! Eureka! (LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY) (GRUNTS) Uh-oh.
Dr.
Brown, you remember what I told you about bein' caught inside the city limits? Yes, Andy.
Well, forget it.
Thanks to you, the coffee machine down at the courthouse is workin' again.
(PEOPLE CHEERING) Mom! Hey, Mom! The power's back on, the TV'II work by itself.
What I go through so we won't miss Northern Exposure.
(BLOWS) Ah.
No more tedious lifting of the chess pieces by hand.
Mother, do you think Father had something to do with this timely resurgence of electricity? CROWD: (CHANTING) Doc Brown deserves a crown! He brought light back to our town! Yes, Jules, something tells me he did.
Honey, I'm home! I hope you don't mind, but I brought a few friends for dinner.
CLARA: Emmett, I'm sorry I got my dander up.
That's okee-ma-dokee, Clara.
(GURGLING) I don't blame you for your indignation.
But I make this solemn pledge.
If I have anything to do with it, the electricity will never go off again.
Goodnight, boys! Hmm.
That's peculiar.
This must be one of those long-life bulbs.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING) (RINGING) (GRUNTS) What? Oh, hi, Ralph.
Hey, hey, I got a bootleg video of the tractor-pull contest.
A mob to run Doc Brown outta town? Ha! Let me shave and I'll be right there! (SCREAMING) I say we end this electrical menace, run the Browns out of town.
Then head over to my place to watch a video replay of the tractor-pull contest! (CROWD AGREEING) Uh-oh.
It appears a rabble has been roused, and something tells me they ain't selling Girl Scout cookies.
Brown! Open up, or I'll huff and I'll puff, and, uh, I'll breathe out real hard! Nobody here, but us geisha.
Wanna massage, geek-sama? Uh, no thanks, honey, uh, uh, miss.
Very well, then.
Back to our tea ceremony.
(WOOD SNAPPING) (YELLS) Oucha-ma-geisha! It's Brown! Grab him! Here's the bag of bolts that's causin' all the trouble.
I say we destroy what we don't understand! (CROWD AGREEING) Fellow Hill Valley-ians, my generator simply overheated.
Perhaps if I ALL: Boo! We need somebody who understands mechanical things! Hey, I hooked up my own TV antenna! ALL: (CHEERING) Biff, Biff, Biff! I know how to cool this thing off.
(SHOUTING) No! (EXPLOSION) Doc Brown, help us! Well, there is one way to dismantle the beast.
But I'll need this video tape! Hey! I paid 200 bucks for that thing! What are you doing? I gotta rewind it and get it back by midnight! Oh, this thing could double as a Founder's Day carnival ride! (SCREAMING) Perhaps it would help to have a pillow here.
ALL: (CHANTING) Brown's no clown, he saved our town! He didn't let Hill Valley down! Thank you.
Greetings, everyone! What a beautiful Founder's Day morning! What good's a Founder's Day with no bash-'em-up bumper cars? No rock concert! No electricity.
Well, I, uh Electricity? The founders of Hill Valley didn't have electricity.
Didn't have bash-'em--up bumper cars either.
Mega-boring.
But they did have horseshoe tossing, and quilting bees, and barn dances.
Now where have I seen that face before? Did they have tractor-pulls? Eh, no, but they chased greased pigs and the winner got a home-baked apple pie.
Greased pigs? Cool! Well, we can celebrate Founder's Day just like the founders did.
(ALL CHEERING) I think they got the message.
Yup.
Now how about givin' me a lift home in that fancy carriage of yours? I'll grab my guitar for the barn dance! The high school mascot's a greased pig! Do we take the horseshoes off the horse before we toss 'em? Ah-ha! Thanks, Clara, and thank you, old timer.
We had the best Founder's Day of all time.
In fact, we almost considered leaving the power off permanently.
But the kids got tired of watching TV by candlelight.
(CHUCKLES) Ah-ha! Just what I was searching for.
A handy water faucet.
I don't think there would be any problem if I quickly used it to fill my canteen.
(ALARM WAILING) Gadzooks! This valve has opened the gates for the water reservoir! (CONTINUOUS BEEP) AUTOMATED VOICE: Accessing emergency demonstration during power failure.
DOC: If you're ever caught in a blackout and you can't find your way around, you can be the family hero by using ordinary household items to make an emergency candle.
You'll need some heavy string, a metal nut or a washer, a small dish or ashtray, and a few ounces of vegetable oil.
Vegetable oil makes good fuel, because its energy is easily converted into heat.
To make your candle's wick, tie one end of the string to the metal nut or washer, then cut the string at about two inches.
Next, place the metal nut in the vegetable oil making sure that the free end of the string stays above the surface of the oil.
You may want to bend the string to ensure that it sticks out from the oil.
The string soaks up some of the oil and allows it to mix with oxygen.
The three things necessary for fire are fuel, oxygen, and heat.
Don't forget, scientists of the future, always exercise extreme care when utilizing an open flame.
Your homemade candle should last for several minutes.
Plenty of time to find what it was you were looking for, the flashlight! Ah, there.
Phew! The water is again flowing to the generators and, ah, power has been restored.
Ah.
Ah! Damnits-lue-says, I forgot to fill my canteen.
(SIGHS) I wonder if anybody would mind if I momentarily opened the valve again.
(ALARM WAILING) But I'm thirsty.
How am I gonna get water? (ALARM STOPS) See you in the future.