Ballmastrz 9009 (2018) s02e09 Episode Script

1
"Ballmastrz."
Blabber Ball: Championship time!
If you're not happy today,
you suck.
We're live from Lartha, capital
Menazone cradle of Crayzar,
and hot, steaming
heart of the game.
E-E-Everyone's psyched,
especially the Leptons,
our surprise underdogs,
who mark their first
and probably last
championship.
I've never been so
cautiously optimistic.
If you're like me
or have a brain,
you might wonder, "How'd they
get here?" So now
Thanks to a generous
donation from me,
a reenactment of my rise
to glory as Ballmaster
as performed by kids
from my former orphanage,
The Ulsa Guerin
Home for Unlovable Children.
[Grunts] Goal.
[Laughter]
Why did none of those
filthy orphans depict us?
How oddly offensive.
Today's everything
I ever wanted,
so why's the vibe
here kind of off?
Sure, the limelight
scorched the brat's brain,
but as long as he and me
bring the Ballmaster,
it's all good, right?
- [Chuckles]
- Oh!
Blabber Ball: The Leptons face
our returning champs, Bad Omen.
[Dial-up feedback]
[Grunting]
♪♪
♪♪
Aah!
[Roars]
[Laughs]
[Grunts]
♪♪
Together:
[Gasping and yelling]
Good thing my teammates won't
face your unspeakable horrors
since I'll defeat you myself
as Ballmaster.
[Laughs maniacally]
[Shrieks]
Aah!
Aah!
Don't make me go back there.
No one will notice
if we bail
and let Ballmaster
handle things, right?
♪♪
I do hope you realize, Gaz,
the true game has already begun.
[Grunting]
Well, it's time
for my pregame ritual
of picking a stall
to cry in.
Why so glum, chums?
I got this.
Cool it, twerp.
You may be our ace in the hole,
but we can't win this
without a full deck.
You worry too much.
If you hang out till I win,
I'll buy you an alcohol drink
as thanks
for not getting in my way.
Speaking of which,
thanks for getting
out of my way.
[Grunting]
[Crowd chanting "Crayzar!"]
My fantastic fanatics,
your merriment is merited.
Oh, you,
your senses exploding.
Game-begotten spectacle,
you still yearn for more,
and now, the championship
shall provide.
The greatest of the great
shall become become greater,
an impossibility made manifest
by our noble pursuit
of never-ending joy.
Today, you'll get all I've
decided you deserve and more
because Crayzar cares.
[Cheers]
Now, play for our love.
[Laughs]
Oh, I got him.
Like I even
had to say it.
[Laughter]
- [Grunting]
- [Laughing]
[Grunts]
You're not me.
Why'd you grab
the ball?
To protect
your selfish ass.
These baddies
ain't like the rest.
You can't take them alone.
[Grunts]
Never in my years
of tireless tribulation
did I imagine my sacrifice
would aid my dearest chums
in fulfilling our highest
Ow!
What the [bleep] man?!
- [Hisses]
- Leto, uh, please help me.
- Oh, dude.
- Ah, screw it.
Ballmaster's got this.
True. I'd risk my neck,
but Ballmasters we ain't.
Should I even try here?
[Glasses beep]
Aaaaaaaaah!
[Chuckling]
[Laughing]
Aw, damn it.
They're not even trying
to be a team.
Ballmaster's our weapon,
not our babysitter.
Uh, well, I'm not
giving up so easy.
Mamma didn't raise
no quitter.
[Gasps]
[Laughs]
Mamma was a screw up,
and so am I! [Screams]
Ready for me to win
as Ballmaster?
If by "me"
you mean "us,"
both of who
will share credit equally,
then hells yeah.
Huh?
They're closing in,
moron.
We got to pass
the ball.
Or I'll do everything,
like always.
- [Grunts]
- Yeah!
[Chuckles]
Gaz, I'm starting to think
you don't believe in our team,
who only believes in me.
[Grunts]
Alright, kiddo.
It is on.
Ace, buddy,
I think her head's biting off
more than our ball can chew.
[Grunts]
- Wh-Whoa!
- [Grunts]
Leave me out of this.
He's taken over Ballmaster.
Vorelord:
[Laughs maniacally]
♪♪
Whoa!
[Laughing]
[Grunts]
♪♪
♪♪
Aah!
Ugh.
Ha.
[Beeping]
[Dial-up feedback]
[Grunts]
[Grunting]
Aah!
Aah!
- Whoa!
- [Laughing]
Ha-ha!
[Grunting]
♪♪
[Grunts]
[Screams]
[Cheers and applause]
♪♪
Huh? Unconventional
play, Captain Digzy.
Not now, Goldilocks.
The runt's gone rogue,
so I got to bring the pain.
Even if perhaps he was in pain
before the game began?
Superstardom is lonely work,
you may recall.
So what?
Ballmaster was supposed
to help the team.
Says the Captain
pummeling her protege.
You think
you can do better?
Then get off your golden throne
and do it, freak.
Mnh-mnh. Soldiers need
a Crayzar and a captain,
a mortal leader
who shares their pain.
Leaders need to bleed,
Digzy.
So what are you to this boy?
A god? A demon?
Or are you finally
A leader ain't the fix here.
The brat needs a spanking,
and that's what he gets.
Look at me,
armchair quarterbacking.
So gauche.
[Both grunting]
♪♪
Aah!
You want me to stop now
when I've almost got everything?
If I just keep pushing,
I'll finally be
Alone.
There's only room for one
on top of Shit Mountain.
Someone should've told me
back in the day,
but now, I'm telling you.
So list
[Exhales sharply]
[All gasp]
Oh, no.
[Grunting]
[Grunts]
[Groaning] You.
[Grunts]
[Grunts] Gaz, what am I
[Exhales sharply]
I'm so sorry, Gaz.
How could I do this
to my captain,
my hero, my friend?
Meh, don't sweat it.
Being a big shot [bleep] you up
just as bad as being a loser.
[Chuckles]
Sure does.
I kind of thought I was a God
for a second.
Well, you're no God, kid,
'cause I believe in ya.
Now, let's win this
like a team.
[Chuckles]
[Gasps]
[Laughs maniacally]
[Grunts]
Aah!
We got this, guys.
[Laughs maniacally]
[Grunting]
Whoa!
Ballmastrz.
- [Chuckles, grunts]
- Aah!
[Yelling]
♪♪
[Grunts]
[Both laugh]
Are we back in sync,
pal?
You know it,
ya moody bitch.
Yeah! [Chuckles]
Time's up, game's over,
and the Leptons have pummeled
their foes and their bros.
That was the most
baller-ass schizo playing
in the history
of the game.
- [Grunts]
- Uh
My first kiss was
as terrifying as I imagined.
- [Chuckles]
- We sure learned a lesson, kid.
I'll only whop your ass
in private from now on.
[Cheers]
A Ballmaster and a fitting
leader, at last.