Dawn of the Croods (2015) s02e09 Episode Script

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing.]
[Sandy snarling.]
What is it, girl? Is Eep trapped in a hole? A hole filled with bigger, deeper holes? That doesn't seem possible.
[Sandy growls.]
[gasps.]
Eep's already dead? [screaming.]
No, Thunk, your sister is alive and well with her friends.
Sandy's just anxious to meet that new family moving into the Norks' old place.
I miss those Norks.
They're in a better place now, that big cave in the sky.
We can see everything from here! [growling.]
Oh, looks like my little special someone is excited to sniff the new family's baby.
I don't know about excited.
I'd say I'm curious.
Oh, you mean Sandy.
- Whoa! Easy, girl.
- [screaming.]
[all.]
Hi! We're your new neighbors.
Oh! [giggling.]
What a charming way to say hello.
I love it.
I just love it! Well, yes, this is how we say hello, here, on purpose.
[laughing.]
This is Cliff.
- He's named after his grandfather - How sweet.
- who fell off a cliff.
- Even sweeter.
[sniffing.]
- How cute! - They think they're people! - [grunting.]
- [growling.]
What a cave, Teena.
It gets so much natural darkness.
Yeah, once you put up some cave paintings, get rid of that carcass over there Oh, that's not a carcass, sillies.
It's a "car-put.
" A carcass that stays put.
Try it.
Try it! Wow! It feels like my feet are walking on softer feet.
[growling.]
[sniffing, growling.]
[whimpering, howling.]
It's okay.
Don't cry.
And don't you cry either, Cliff.
[sighing.]
[snarling.]
Wow! He stopped crying.
You're amazing.
How did you get to be so good with babies? I'll let you in on a little secret.
I used to be one.
[laughing.]
How'd you like to watch Cliff for the afternoon while I settle in? I'll pay you three eggs.
[gasps.]
Me? All my babysitting dreams are about to come true.
[cackling.]
Now, this is babysitting! I'll do it! And I promise we'll clear the gorge.
[stammers.]
Super! Good news.
You and I are gonna spend all day with your new best friend, Cliff.
[grumbling.]
I know! I'm excited, too! [barking.]
- [growls softly.]
- [sighing.]
[Ugga.]
Have fun babysitting, Thunk! We know you're going to do great.
Are we sure he'll do great? I'd be lying if I said I had no doubts, but I really want to get a car-put.
[cackling.]
I know! Me too.
It felt like the floor was giving me sweet, hairy kisses.
Bye! Now, you guys play nice while I baby-proof the cave's danger areas.
[rattling.]
[babbling.]
[moaning.]
[Cliff laughing.]
Good job, Cliff! Your artwork is so lifelike, I almost forgot it used to be alive.
And Sandy, you, uh Hey, you played with them, too.
[groaning.]
Danger areas secured.
Now, what else would a good babysitter do? A-ha! I don't know.
So, how about I tell you a story instead? Once, there was an amazing babysitter, who was also quite handsome [gasping.]
and really good at cave painting, as it turns out.
And he had a magic tail that let him bounce everywhere.
He never once had to use his legs.
- [grunting.]
- [moaning.]
[growling.]
And backflip to the moon they did.
And ow! Bad baby! This is not a toy.
This is a toy.
On second thought, I can see how this could be confusing, but still.
You should know better, Sandy.
[gasping.]
[grumbling.]
Nice try, but you can't just blame this on the person next to you.
[fart squeaking.]
He did it.
Sorry, but as a good babysitter, you can have Krispy Bear back when you've learned to play nice.
Now, tell Cliff you're sorry and give him a hug.
[groaning.]
- [growling.]
- What was that? [babbling.]
[chickunas clucking.]
[Ugga and Grug laughing.]
Oh, what a day! Would you just pick one already? [laughing continues.]
Hello, fellow childcare expert.
Tell me, do you prefer the overhand leash grip or the wrap-around wrist method? Ha! You walk your babies? Amateur.
My babies walk me.
[babbling.]
That's the good Sandy I know.
Keep it up, and soon, you'll get this back.
Whoa! How'd you get in there? I meant Did I lose it? No, wait.
Here it is.
[gasping.]
Now, back you go.
[moaning.]
[babbling.]
Aw, is somebody tired of walking? [groaning.]
Lullaby time.
Dead prey, tasty prey Fills baby's belly right Dead prey, tasty prey Helps baby sleep at night - [snarling.]
- Whoa, Sandy! If you want a different song, just ask.
[growling.]
[screaming.]
Sandy! Cliff! Are you okay? Am I okay? You are far from okay! [panting.]
Oh, no! I mean, everything's under control.
You're an embarrassment to the job.
[growling.]
[straining.]
[roaring.]
[screaming.]
Sandy? Cliff? Okay, Thunk, just think like a baby.
I'm hungry and I need to poop.
This isn't working.
Some babysitter I am.
More like a baby let-them-run-away-er.
[sighing.]
Bad Thunk, silly Thunk You let the babies fight Bad Thunk, silly Thunk You'll be paid no eggs tonight [gasping.]
[screaming.]
- [scream echoes.]
- [gasping.]
Sandy! Thank you, singing For solving that problem! [wind howling.]
- [yelping.]
- [rumbling.]
[straining.]
[giggling.]
[yelping.]
[straining.]
[moaning.]
[sniffling, babbling.]
[groaning.]
[panting.]
[blowing raspberry.]
[babbling.]
Wow.
That is really aggressive, and not how you thank Sandy for saving your life! Wait, has Cliff been acting like that all day? - [growling.]
- Why didn't you say something? [stammering.]
[babbling, grunting.]
You tried to, but I was too distracted making up stories and baby-proofing my butt? - That does sound like me.
I'm sorry.
- [giggling.]
[babbling.]
Yeah, okay.
Save it, buddy.
[babbling.]
- [sniffling.]
- [sighing.]
There.
Our very own car-put.
So soft, so fluffy, and so [grumbling.]
bitey? - Our car-put has bitey bugs! - [buzzing.]
Yeah, but it does pull the room together.
Knock, knock! How'd it go, baby whisperer? I'll be honest.
Cliff was kind of a handful.
I know.
He's the worst.
I just needed a break or I was going to lose my mind.
[cackling.]
[sighing.]
Time to go back to Mommy's waking nightmare! Say goodbye, Cliff! Come on.
- [chuckling.]
- [gasping.]
You earned it.
[growling.]
You're right.
[giggling.]
[sighing.]
[gasping.]
[music playing.]
[Gran.]
Ooh! Looks like the Grr! berries are in season.
Let's get them, gardening club! [hissing.]
[grunting.]
Gardening club? [snickering.]
[Marm.]
And this is my granddaughter Blonk.
She's around your age and just made head bonker.
Oh, Marm, she has your smile.
Why, thank you.
Would you believe these are fake? And Gorp, your grandson is striking.
He's half lizard on his father's side.
Again with the lizard baby! I'm proud of him.
Hey, Gran, your friends and I are talking favorite grandkids.
It's Sandy.
Now, what are you doing with my pals? Our weekly chat and chew.
We have so much in common, like telling long stories and joints that make cool noises.
- [groaning.]
- [cracking.]
- [squeaking.]
- [popping.]
Oh! That reminds me.
I have something to show you guys.
[groaning.]
Oh, your grandson is such a sweetheart.
- Too bad it means he'll die young.
- Yeah, that's going to happen.
Ha! Please! He's my grandson, so he's not dying anytime soon.
Unless he bugs me.
Speaking of dying, that lizvult's back to drag off the weakest.
Definitely going to be Weez this time.
Not today! Not while I can still - [back cracking.]
- Okay, today.
- [lizvult roaring.]
- Ta-da! Made it myself.
Helps me get around without putting undue pressure on my knees.
Of course, this also works.
Thunk, fight him off! Don't worry.
I'm totally in control of this situation.
My, that's a strong beak you've got there.
What's your name? [grunting.]
Drop him, you jerk! - [grunting.]
- [screaming.]
[grunting.]
We were getting to know each other.
Her name is Bessie.
And I thought I was living on borrowed time.
[chuckling.]
[laughing.]
- Mm-hmm.
- [Thunk cheering.]
Hey, who wants to help me clean? It's totally fun, and I'm totally telling the truth and not lying! Can't right now.
We're watching our stories.
Dirk is spinning a web a web of lies! [gasping.]
He's about to defeat his arch-rival.
Gran, are you seeing this? - [shrieking.]
- [gasping.]
Hey, buddy, hope you enjoy eating me.
Let me know if I can do anything to help.
[groaning.]
I've seen enough! Ugga, I'm taking Thunk somewhere incredibly dangerous where he'll toughen up or die! Uh-huh.
Great.
Have fun! You know, that'll rot your brain if it bites you.
Happened to a buddy of mine.
What about you, Sandy? You want to help your old man clean? You can eat all the dirt we find.
[Sandy whirring.]
[both.]
No! Ah! Sorry! How do I reverse this? [hacking.]
[grumbling.]
At least the cave's clean? - Thunk, you like old people, right? - Not just like.
I love them.
Well, if you want to ever be an old person, you've got to get tough.
That's why, when I was your age, we did the trials of the tar pits.
- The kids who passed got to grow up.
- And the kids who failed? The kids who passed got to grow up.
- Hey! - Hey, guys! Are you here to help me with my trials? [grunting.]
Wow! But let's see you do that with two hands.
[shrieking.]
That was fun.
So, when do the trials start? [groaning.]
Gorp was the first trial.
We'll come back to that later.
Now, let's toughen you up.
[sizzling.]
[giggling.]
[hurling.]
[sighing.]
Mm ooh.
[gasping.]
Look, Gran! Hot stone massage.
[grumbling.]
- [growling.]
- [grunting.]
Who's a good boy? You are.
Yes, you are.
[grumbling.]
[straining.]
[giggling.]
- [hissing.]
- [screaming.]
And they said I couldn't lift my own body weight.
Take that, everyone I know.
- [grunting.]
- [yelping.]
Thanks, Gran, but I don't know how to get out.
Well, I guess this is my life now.
[growling.]
[both.]
Yay! Nice work, my boy.
Look, I'm sorry I ruined your stories, but I'll find you a new show to watch, like, um these butterhummers.
[buzzing.]
They just fly around looking pretty.
Where is the drama? Okay, okay.
Well, buzztles have a lot going on.
Too much going on.
I can never keep the names straight.
Dad, the story of Dirk's romance is special.
Even though he and Flit are in love, they can never be together.
Really? Why? He was a spider ant.
She was a gnat fly.
They were from different worlds.
Huh.
Tell me more.
- Betrayal.
- Passion.
[Eep.]
He was in a cocoon.
[Ugga.]
Love at first sight.
And then, she left him hanging by a thread of spider silk! Ah! We know.
It's shocking.
No.
Look! What? [cheering.]
I can't believe it! [laughs.]
We can find out if Dirk and Flit live happily ever after! Ow, you little! [gasping.]
Uh At least the cave's clean? Doing great, Thunk.
I think you're ready to rematch old Gorp here.
Do I have to? Gorp's my friend.
Oh that's sweet.
Now, less lip and more flip! [grunting.]
[yelping.]
[groaning.]
- Oh, yeah.
- Go ahead.
- [panting.]
- You tired him out.
Finish him! I can't flip you, Gorp.
What if I hurt your hip and you're never able to hold your lizard grandson again? - [shrieking.]
- Ha-ha! I still got it.
Darn it, Thunk.
Again with this sweetness.
I thought you were finally toughening up.
You want to know what happened to the kids who didn't pass the trials? They lived long and happy lives? No! They died young, with all their hair on their head and their short-term memory and their hair on their head! And so will you! [whimpers.]
You're wrong! I'm a different kind of tough.
I will get old, even older than Weez! Older than Weez? Good luck! I knew dirt back when it was still a rock.
[back cracking.]
That's what I get for being cocky.
Thunk, stop! I'm going to catch up.
We both know I'm tougher than you.
So, maybe you are, but I don't need your dumb trial of the armpits.
It's "trials of the tar pits"! Because this area is full of - [shrieking.]
- Thunk! tar pits! Thunk, grab hold! I don't need your help.
I can get out of this mess.
You're not tough enough.
Let the old lady do the heavy lifting.
[screaming.]
Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to take a moment to think of my final words.
Yeah, got them.
No, no, no! With no show to watch, I guess we'll just watch reality.
Ugh! I hate this reality show! - Not so fast! - [gasping.]
Dirk! It's a shocking twist.
That wasn't Dirk.
It was his evil twin Donk! Dirk was hiding under a rock with his true love Flit the whole time! [shrieking.]
[giggling.]
And the best part we're upgrading to a big screen! [straining.]
Stop thrashing! It's making us sink faster.
Is not! [continues straining.]
Who am I kidding? We're goners! And look who's circling again.
Scram, you! The tar pits won our bodies fair and square.
You lose.
Don't talk to Bessie like that! [gasping.]
Talk to her like this.
Bessie! Hey, Bessie! Bessie, who's the Bessie? Who's the Bessie-Bessie? Hey, Bessie boy! Bessie girl! You're the Bessie girl! Stop that! Do you want that mangy bird to scavenge our corpses? No, I want her to rescue our corpses while they're still alive.
- [Bessie shrieking.]
- Oh! That worked! No violence required.
Thanks, Bessie.
We owe you one.
One corpse, that is.
[cawing.]
Thunk, you really are sweet, and it turns out that's a good thing.
I didn't appreciate it before, but now I am certain you get it from me.
That's nice.
Reminds me, back in my day, when And there I go! Bye, Weez! Have fun with your new friend! [laughing.]
Hey, what are you watching? Shh.
It's the season finale.
Dirk and Flit are getting married.
Flit looks so beautiful.
Oh, I've already seen this one.
The fly dies in the end.
[groaning.]
Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum ba-dum