Doogie Kamealoha, M.D. (2021) s02e09 Episode Script
Now What?
1
BENNY: Previously on
Doogie Kamealoha, M.D
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
LAHELA: Things have just been rocky
since he got back from Australia.
It's like I don't even know you anymore.
Okay, so if I've changed so much.
So why do you even want to be with me?
- Well, maybe I don't.
- Fine.
Then don't be.
Walter and I just broke up.
Oh, sweetie.
Whoa.
LAHELA: If it isn't my
friend, the dirt biker.
What are you here for? Concussion.
- ACL tear?
- Nope.
Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
STEPH: So this Nico guy you were
kissing, isn't he like your patient?
NICO: Well, look, can
we just have one day
where we can pretend you're not a
doctor and I'm not a cancer patient?
CLARA: Nico should not be
out of the hospital yet.
His cancer is not
responding to treatment.
LAHELA: I know that, Mom.
NICO: Today showed me the
kind of life I can live
when I'm done with this.
And having you in charge of my treatment
gives me the best chance for
more days in the sun with you.
Hi, I'm Dr. Lahela Kamealoha.
Thank you for being here with me.
I would like to review an
experimental cancer treatment
I recently pursued with a
patient CAR-T cell therapy.
In CAR-T cell therapy, we
genetically reprogram T-cells
with chimeric antigen receptors,
turning them into CAR-T cells,
giving them the ability to
target and destroy diseased cells.
Then, we infuse the CAR-T cells
into the patient after one last round
of lymphoid-depleting chemotherapy.
NICO: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can you maybe just dumb it down a notch?
LAHELA: Yeah.
We remove your white
blood cells and arm them
and then pump them back in.
Okay, so you're basically
turning my immune system into,
like, a Game of Thrones,
E-tumor killing army.
A hundred percent.
That's pretty sick. (SCOFFS)
Is it painful?
It is a
process.
And we have to fly
out of state to try it.
But this is (SIGHS)
it's kind of
My last shot.
Nico
if this works
it will give you a new life.
It'll give us a new life.
Okay, let's do it.
LAHELA: I worked the phones for days
before finally finding him a spot
in a clinical trial in Philadelphia,
where we began the process of drawing
and re-engineering Nico's blood.
Then we returned home for the infusion.
Which was
painful.
(NICO BREATHES DEEPLY)
Once complete, we had
to wait for the results.
A process every physician in here knows.
Totally sucks.
I mean, it's been three
weeks since we started CAR-T,
and we still don't have
Nico's test results.
That's why I dragged you
to this pickup soccer game.
To take your mind off
it all for a second.
Do they only do the
World Cup every four years
because everyone's too
hot for people to handle?
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
Sorry, guys.
Nico's test results are in, I got to go.
Now. The next goal wins.
Fine.
Sorry! Science!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Holy Rapinoe.
Holy Crapinoe!
All right, come on.
Let's see what you got.
Aloha.
Outside.
(ALL CHEER)
Who was that?
Lahela Kamealoha, my best friend.
Wasn't she your ride?
Hela! Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
It worked. No evidence of blasts.
- What?
- Nico, your cancer is gone.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(THEME MUSIC)
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Your tree mongoose had babies.
- Oh!
Also, our baby mongoose bites bad.
Ooh. A gift.
Little "forgive me" for
stranding Mama at hot boy soccer?
No, it's for Nico, beating cancer.
Both worthy.
It's for his bell ring.
Amazing. What is that?
Well, if a patient beats cancer,
they ring a bell before
leaving the hospital.
- Wait, so he finally gets to leave?
- Yeah.
I mean, he spent his whole life
in hospitals, so it's a big deal.
The biggest. Are you nervous?
Most YA novels end with the
hot patient boyfriend dying.
You two are entering
uncharted territory.
All I know is that I'm excited.
Which is why I got him
this Koa wood bracelet.
So fire! Bell-ring bling.
- You think he'll like it?
- It's great.
My mom's ex-boyfriend
had a handcuff bracelet
to remind him he was falsely accused.
I just realized he escaped from prison.
- Thank you.
- Mom, can we lose the lunchtime notes?
Seventh grade is a World War One trench.
Those are poison gas.
I bet there's plenty of poison
gas at seventh grade lunch.
- Farts.
- (SOFT CHUCKLE)
It's just kind of embarrassing.
No, it's not, you big silly.
"Don't forget to flash
those widdle dimples."
Well, I don't want you to forget.
Come on, BP, it's not that embarrassing.
Not even a widdle bit.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
(GASPS) This
This is how I find out
you're having another kid.
Explain your logic.
I know what tampons are.
They're magic sticks a
woman buys on her period.
That means you're pregnant.
You think if a woman is on her
period, that means she's pregnant?
Uh, yeah, it's a period.
They don't say a woman's
on her question mark.
Anyway. Congrats, Mom.
Welcome to Storkville.
I guess, you'll have new widdle
dimples to write notes for.
Brian Patrick, what
What have they been
teaching you in health class?
It's mostly coming up with an elaborate
backstory for our CPR dummy, Gerald.
He just inherited his
great uncle's ranch
and is hoping it'll
give him a fresh start.
Hey, y'all you can keep the catheters,
but I am taking the no-slip booties.
All right. I'm getting
ahead of the trend.
Hey, anything you want,
it's your bell ring.
Well, in that case,
I am taking the beep-beep-boop
machine. Mwah.
We have been through
a lot together. He's
Well, he's seen me naked.
So you ready?
Actually, I think I want to stay.
(SOFT CHUCKLE) Come on,
let's go ring this darn bell.
("DOG DAYS ARE OVER" BY
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE)
Happiness hit her ♪
Like a bullet in the back ♪
Run fast for your mother
run fast for your father ♪
Run for your children for
your sisters and brothers ♪
Leave all your love
and your longing behind ♪
You can't carry it with
you if you want to survive ♪
The dog days are over ♪
The dog days are done ♪
The horses are coming ♪
So you better run ♪
(BELL RINGS)
(ALL CHEER)
NICO: Ooh.
This is it. I'm finally out of here.
No longer tethered to an IV pole.
This must be how dogs feel when
they're finally let off leash.
Like so.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Okay. So I know this
is a big step for you.
Which is why I got you this.
- Is it the beep-beep-boop machine?
- Maybe.
It's your patient wristband.
I had it made into a bracelet.
It's Koa wood.
Koa means warrior in Hawaiian.
So, you never forget
the battle we fought.
Wow, um
Thank you.
This is great.
It's just, I was kind of
hoping to forget this place.
Honestly, I never want to think
about a hospital ever again.
But thank you. It's Yeah.
Yeah, of course. (SOFT CHUCKLE)
We're halfway through the
menstrual cycle when things get fun.
A spike of luteinizing hormone
at the end of the
follicular phase and pop!
The oocyte enters the fallopian tube
on its voyage to the uterus.
We're dangerously close to
ruining Christmas, honey.
Oh, um
What's this little puppet show?
I called your principal
to discuss health class.
And long story short,
we mutually agreed that I should come
teach your class all about puberty.
BOTH: No way.
If you do this, Mom, I swear to
God, I will marry a Giants fan.
Ooh, oh, oh. (SIGHS DEEPLY)
Brian Patrick, this is important.
Sure is, Mom.
But you should probably
spice it up a bit.
Seventh graders get bored quick.
You should make it fun.
Like that hospital talent show you did.
- You think I should sing?
- Absolutely not.
- Yeah, that's not a good idea.
- Thank you.
- You should rap.
- Come again, Pops.
- Rap?
- Sure.
I could spin up the old turntables
and DJ, and we can do it together.
- No, no, no, no.
- Ooh.
Big Philly style.
And raps are kind of catchy.
I mean, the kids may actually
remember reproductive facts.
Exactly. This is perfect.
And you love rap, don't you, BP?
I did until 30 seconds ago.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
- So how was Nico's bell ringing?
- Oh, it was perfect.
Tasteful, quick.
No rogue toasts by tipsy relatives.
And the after party was lit.
Noe made it nine minutes in
one of the morgue drawers.
Nine minutes and six seconds.
Yeah, I think Nico had a great time.
Yeah, he seemed really happy.
So, how are you two, huh?
Mm.
Great. (SCOFFS)
Great. We are great.
Okay, three greats
equals "garbage fire."
The only thing is, he really
doesn't want to hear about work.
Body surfing is crazy. I
legit have sand everywhere.
Definitely on my butt.
And I think it's traveled
its way to my ear.
Oh, people get crazy
stuff stuck in their ears.
Last week, a lady
presented with tinnitus
and then we extracted a googly eye!
She said it got stuck in
there in the third grade.
(GIGGLES)
Sorry.
- Another hospital story.
- Hey, no, it's cool.
I am going to jump back
in the water. (GRUNTS)
(WAVES CRASHING)
I mean How can I be myself if I have
to edit the hospital out of my life?
I mean, I'm like 70 percent
hospital and 30 percent
You can't even come up
with the other 30 percent.
That's how hospital you are.
And truth patrol,
sometimes you smell like it.
Oh, awesome.
I just don't get it.
I mean, chemistry has
never been an issue for us.
In the hospital, out at the waterfall.
And we've always been great together.
Yeah, that was back when
you were doctor and patient.
Yeah. You just have to
find your new dynamic.
Right?
Like I had to do with
Kai after years of
Stalking him.
I was going to say adoring,
but the line is razor-thin.
Hmm. It's not that thin.
Own your creep, girl.
Okay, well, how do
we find a new dynamic?
I mean, I can't really escape my job.
Find something you have in
common outside the hospital.
A real connection that can sustain you.
You'll get there even if you
have to dig deep to find it.
- Like we did with googly-eyed Cheryl.
- Ugh.
Was it really that bad?
Girl, I also pulled a
Barbie shoe out of her nose.
Her head was like a Toys R Us.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
So, what would you say
your life philosophy is?
What?
You know, I think that we have to learn
as much as we can in this lifetime
because we're going to use it
somehow in our next lifetime.
But what do you think?
I am mostly trying to
figure out this menu.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
The zip pack looks good.
My dad loves spam.
Are you a spam man?
Totally. I love spam.
However, I do think anything
beats the hospital food.
Oh, well, what about the
chocolate chip cookies?
Can't get enough of those.
I think the hospital ruined them for me.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Do you hear music or am
I detaching from reality?
You're darn right, I do. Is
that Beauty and the Beast?
I love that movie.
- Tune as old as song ♪
- Me too.
- Oh, come. Come here.
- Bittersweet and strange ♪
- Finding you can change ♪
- It's the ballroom scene.
LAHELA: At the time, the
animation was groundbreaking.
As a kid, I was convinced that
every candlestick could talk,
so, I burned myself many times.
(CHUCKLES)
When my mom was pregnant
with Brian Patrick,
I wish she'd be like Chip, the
anthropomorphic teacup child.
Yes.
Mrs. Potts raised him
as a single kettle,
and she ran the whole darn kitchen.
I mean, mad respect.
- Ooh.
- Oh, she definitely saw us.
Does she look right into my eyes?
- Hello?
- Oh, hi.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Oh, no. You were serious, Dad.
For sure.
Hey, all the Kamealoha men are
blessed with rhythm, even you.
I've heard you freestyle in the shower.
That ain't freestyling, Dad.
Mom, you're all mic'd up. Hit it.
(CLARA RAPPING) Oh, oh ♪
It's gonna be an
educational show ♪
'Cuz my rhymes-like-menstrual-fluid
are ready to flow ♪
Hey, I was gonna scratch it up some!
Here's the deal with the deal.
Last night, I pulled a Lahela and read
everything there is about puberty.
I even downloaded a period tracker app
so you and I could ride the tide.
So no need for you to come to
school and embarrass anyone.
You, me, the long history of rap.
You want to talk embarrassed.
Imagine being a young
woman in your class
who doesn't know what's
happening to her body.
You think that's fun?
Your father and I are doing
this, and that's final.
Now, excuse me.
I need to find a rhyme for follicle.
And before you say it,
I'm already using
Monocle in the pre-chorus.
- (BENNY AND CLARA GASP)
- Oh, rats.
Dad's turntables. We'll have
to cancel the presentation.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
No worries, son.
I got another beatbox
machine right here.
(BEATBOXING)
Oh, that groove is infectious.
My God.
This is why Lahela raced through school.
She is a genius.
(BEATBOXING CONTINUES)
LAHELA: And we are draped.
CHARLES: Ooh. Someone's glowing.
- Did you connect with Nico?
- We found it.
Beauty and the Beast.
- Oh, I love Beauty and the Beast.
- Yes!
Animated orig? Live action
with Hermione Granger.
Late 80's TV series with
my girl, Linda Hamilton.
- Who cares? They're all bangers.
- Yes.
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Yeah, but it's a little thin, right?
I mean, we all just connected on it.
A movie's a great start.
Just don't pull a Lahela.
Go slow. Builds
Yeah, just build on it.
Big Beauty and the Beast fan.
(IN FRENCH) Good evening, miss.
musk is hitting hard right now.
It's not cologne.
The valet just insisted on Febreze-ing
the inside of my bike helmet.
There is a valet, right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
And Alpine Meadow suits you.
- This place is fancy, huh?
- Yeah.
I thought we'd class it up, so I
set up a little night for us. Here.
Does "class it up" mean
Captain Crunch cosplay?
Because I am down.
No. See, it's like a tailcoat
from Beauty and the Beast.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
(IN FRENCH) The beauty.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
I am so sorry that I asked our
server about the spam du jour.
I did not think that she was
going to go talk to the chef, okay?
Or that the chef was going to
come out here and apologize.
But hey, free escargot!
("TALE AS OLD AS TIME" PLAYING)
Come on, beast.
- Let's dance.
- Oh, no.
Okay.
Tale as old as time ♪
Uh-huh.
True as it can be ♪
Barely even friends ♪
Then somebody bends ♪
Unexpectedly ♪
Just a little change ♪
Small, to say the least ♪
Both a little scared ♪
Neither one prepared ♪
Beauty and the Beast ♪
Ever just the same ♪
Ever a surprise ♪
Ever as before ♪
Ever just as sure ♪
As the sun will rise ♪
Ooh, oh, oh ♪
Tale as old as time ♪
Tune as old as song ♪
Bittersweet and strange ♪
Finding you can change ♪
Learning you were wrong ♪
Certain as the sun ♪
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east ♪
Tale as old as time ♪
Song as old as rhyme ♪
Beauty and the Beast ♪
Tale as old as time ♪
Song as old as rhyme ♪
Beauty and the ♪
Beast ♪
(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)
I am sorry for elbowing you
in the ear during that spin.
That's okay. I deserved it,
after going in for the
lift and kneeing your stuff.
Hey, what are you doing on Tuesday?
There's this band, the HayJos,
and they're having a concert.
Yeah, sounds fun.
Wait. Tuesday?
I actually have a thing.
It's okay. You can tell me.
I'm giving a talk at the hospital.
It's actually about your CAR-T therapy.
Hey, do you maybe want to come?
I mean, I know people
would love to see you.
Oh, wait, did you set all
this up so you could ask me
to be a part of some
sort of cancer show?
What? No. Of course, not.
Like, do you want
me to be the poster boy
- for your big medical success?
- Okay.
I just thought of that right now.
I'm sorry. I just thought you
might want to be a part of it.
No, no. No way. I
I am done with all of that.
Okay, I don't understand
what is going on with you.
Nico, you beat cancer.
- I mean, you're alive.
- Am I?
Because right now I'm
standing on a balcony
and I'm wearing nautical pajamas
and I'm reliving a
cartoon for some reason
and it still comes back to cancer.
Oh, I (SIGHS)
Wait, Nico, wait.
Look, I'm trying to be here for you.
Please, just talk.
You really can't escape
the hospital, can you?
I thought so.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
- Oh, honey, you look amazing.
- CLARA: Yeah.
I can't believe you found
all that in your closet.
The last time I was wearing this
jersey, I was booing Santa Claus.
Today, the P stands for puberty.
And I dusted this look off.
You look great.
And yes, I know the Backstreet
Boys totally stole your look.
(LAUGHS) Oh!
There's Brian Patrick, hi. Hi, honey.
Hi. It's Mom.
- Hey, nerd.
- Kai, what are you doing here?
I told my chemistry teacher
what Mom and Dad are about to do,
and he was like, you got to go see that.
(LAUGHS)
- Look at it. (LAUGHS)
- GIRL: Oh, my God. So embarrassing.
Darn, you mother.
- How's the fire building going?
- I Lahela-ed it.
I went too hard at Beauty and the Beast
and we ended up in a fight
over my CAR-T presentation.
I'm so sorry, sweetie.
I asked Nico to come and he flipped out.
I mean, I don't get it.
Beating cancer is the
best moment of his life.
Well, maybe he doesn't see it that way.
I mean, maybe for him, it's
the end of a painful story.
And not everyone wants to share that.
Or at least not yet.
I mean, in a way, he
really is like the Beast.
Ugh. I am Beauty and the Beast-ed out.
No, think about it.
He told Belle never to visit
the West Wing of the castle
and then got all cranky-puss
about it when she did.
Right? Why?
Because that's where he
kept the enchanted rose.
Right? Like locked up with all the
broken mirrors and the gargoyles
and those portraits with
those gaudy gold frames.
It wasn't until he was ready to
share with the rose meant to him
that the relationship could blossom.
- Beautiful.
- It just came out.
(SIGHS)
I guess, I have been thinking
about all of this as our story.
And it still can be.
You just have to take your time.
Go at his pace.
CLARA: Okay.
Hi, everybody.
I am Brian Patrick's mom.
Who is ready to learn
all about their growing
and changing bodies.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Okay, let's just
Yeah. Kick it.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Oh, oh ♪
I hear all y'all have
some consternation ♪
Learning about young
ladies' menstruation ♪
But it's a fact-of-life
and totally normal ♪
A mucosal discharge
whose trigger's hormonal ♪
My life is over.
So grab a tampon
and get your cramp-on ♪
Hit-it-with-an-ultra
if it's an amped one ♪
Ride-it-out,
slide-it-in, pad it up ♪
- Or save the day with ♪
- Diva Cup ♪
Or save the day with a Diva Cup ♪
- Hey, DJ Maxi ♪
- Aloha, boss ♪
Time to break it
down with a menopause ♪
(ALL LAUGH)
Boys, just pay attention, okay?
- Boo. You get out!
- That's not nice.
Get off the stage!
(ALL LAUGH)
To the young punks
poking fun and laughing ♪
We'll-see-who's-laughing last
when your voice starts cracking! ♪
(ALL GROAN)
Now there's no
need to stigmatize ♪
Just 'cuz an egg wasn't fertilized ♪
Don't throw shame,
don't get roped-in ♪
Help each other
along like a fallopian ♪
Be like ovaries, organs-so-polite ♪
They take turns from
the left and the right ♪
- Passing lil eggs to a lining so thick ♪
- GIRL: It's good.
Hoping and praying
just one will stick ♪
Our bodies are changing
stuff's starting to smell ♪
Sniff your underarm? ♪
Ripe as hell ♪
But it's all of us and
it's kind of so Gucci ♪
To explore your body
like a tween Vespucci? ♪
Fifteenth century Florentine explorer.
Be cool everybody,
this ain't the '80s ♪
We're all-just-boys-and
girls becoming men and ladies ♪
We're on our own clock
and it's not always fair ♪
My older brother Kai's
still waiting for chest hair ♪
(ALL GROAN)
Widdle Dimps out.
(ALL CHEER, APPLAUSE)
Brian Patrick! That was so awesome.
Thank you for supporting me.
- I knew you had to flow.
- Actually, Dad, women do.
That's why I was trying to support.
And also rap, the entire art form.
You know what? I earned it.
Where's that fire alarm?
(LAUGHS)
- Seriously.
- Oh, Brian Patrick, don't
- Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry about the other night.
I've been thinking about beating
cancer as something that we did.
But it is your story.
And if you're not ready to
share it, then I get that.
I appreciate that.
And I am so sorry for
bolting. That was not cool.
I mean, before the check? Come on, bro.
But I should not have said that you
can't get away from the hospital.
The truth is, that's, that's my problem.
You know, I don't know who
I am outside of that place.
It's all I've ever known.
I know how that is.
But I can help you.
And we can figure it out together.
Yeah.
I don't know that we can.
What do you mean?
Lahela, you chose a life at the
hospital, and that's amazing.
That's who you are.
But I did not choose that.
And I just need time.
I need to find out who I am.
What do I choose, you know?
Okay. Well, how much time do you need?
So now what?
Is this it?
Lahela, you saved my life.
But I have to figure out
what I'm going to do with it.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(SOFT LAUGHS)
Thank you.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
It was a long, long road.
But CAR-T cell therapy was successful.
The patient made a full recovery
and his long-term prognosis is positive.
I had wished that he
would be here today.
But
I trust that he is thriving.
And finding himself cancer free.
With any luck,
I hope we can one day
bring this amazing procedure here
to Oahu Med.
Thank you.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)
That was so powerful, Lahela.
Thanks, Mom.
Dr. Kamealoha, your boyfriend
was outside looking for you.
Okay.
Hey.
(SOFT GASP)
(CLOSING THEME MUSIC)
KIDS: Mom.
(MAN GRUNTS)
BENNY: Previously on
Doogie Kamealoha, M.D
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
LAHELA: Things have just been rocky
since he got back from Australia.
It's like I don't even know you anymore.
Okay, so if I've changed so much.
So why do you even want to be with me?
- Well, maybe I don't.
- Fine.
Then don't be.
Walter and I just broke up.
Oh, sweetie.
Whoa.
LAHELA: If it isn't my
friend, the dirt biker.
What are you here for? Concussion.
- ACL tear?
- Nope.
Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
STEPH: So this Nico guy you were
kissing, isn't he like your patient?
NICO: Well, look, can
we just have one day
where we can pretend you're not a
doctor and I'm not a cancer patient?
CLARA: Nico should not be
out of the hospital yet.
His cancer is not
responding to treatment.
LAHELA: I know that, Mom.
NICO: Today showed me the
kind of life I can live
when I'm done with this.
And having you in charge of my treatment
gives me the best chance for
more days in the sun with you.
Hi, I'm Dr. Lahela Kamealoha.
Thank you for being here with me.
I would like to review an
experimental cancer treatment
I recently pursued with a
patient CAR-T cell therapy.
In CAR-T cell therapy, we
genetically reprogram T-cells
with chimeric antigen receptors,
turning them into CAR-T cells,
giving them the ability to
target and destroy diseased cells.
Then, we infuse the CAR-T cells
into the patient after one last round
of lymphoid-depleting chemotherapy.
NICO: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Can you maybe just dumb it down a notch?
LAHELA: Yeah.
We remove your white
blood cells and arm them
and then pump them back in.
Okay, so you're basically
turning my immune system into,
like, a Game of Thrones,
E-tumor killing army.
A hundred percent.
That's pretty sick. (SCOFFS)
Is it painful?
It is a
process.
And we have to fly
out of state to try it.
But this is (SIGHS)
it's kind of
My last shot.
Nico
if this works
it will give you a new life.
It'll give us a new life.
Okay, let's do it.
LAHELA: I worked the phones for days
before finally finding him a spot
in a clinical trial in Philadelphia,
where we began the process of drawing
and re-engineering Nico's blood.
Then we returned home for the infusion.
Which was
painful.
(NICO BREATHES DEEPLY)
Once complete, we had
to wait for the results.
A process every physician in here knows.
Totally sucks.
I mean, it's been three
weeks since we started CAR-T,
and we still don't have
Nico's test results.
That's why I dragged you
to this pickup soccer game.
To take your mind off
it all for a second.
Do they only do the
World Cup every four years
because everyone's too
hot for people to handle?
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
Sorry, guys.
Nico's test results are in, I got to go.
Now. The next goal wins.
Fine.
Sorry! Science!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Holy Rapinoe.
Holy Crapinoe!
All right, come on.
Let's see what you got.
Aloha.
Outside.
(ALL CHEER)
Who was that?
Lahela Kamealoha, my best friend.
Wasn't she your ride?
Hela! Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
It worked. No evidence of blasts.
- What?
- Nico, your cancer is gone.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(THEME MUSIC)
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Your tree mongoose had babies.
- Oh!
Also, our baby mongoose bites bad.
Ooh. A gift.
Little "forgive me" for
stranding Mama at hot boy soccer?
No, it's for Nico, beating cancer.
Both worthy.
It's for his bell ring.
Amazing. What is that?
Well, if a patient beats cancer,
they ring a bell before
leaving the hospital.
- Wait, so he finally gets to leave?
- Yeah.
I mean, he spent his whole life
in hospitals, so it's a big deal.
The biggest. Are you nervous?
Most YA novels end with the
hot patient boyfriend dying.
You two are entering
uncharted territory.
All I know is that I'm excited.
Which is why I got him
this Koa wood bracelet.
So fire! Bell-ring bling.
- You think he'll like it?
- It's great.
My mom's ex-boyfriend
had a handcuff bracelet
to remind him he was falsely accused.
I just realized he escaped from prison.
- Thank you.
- Mom, can we lose the lunchtime notes?
Seventh grade is a World War One trench.
Those are poison gas.
I bet there's plenty of poison
gas at seventh grade lunch.
- Farts.
- (SOFT CHUCKLE)
It's just kind of embarrassing.
No, it's not, you big silly.
"Don't forget to flash
those widdle dimples."
Well, I don't want you to forget.
Come on, BP, it's not that embarrassing.
Not even a widdle bit.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
(GASPS) This
This is how I find out
you're having another kid.
Explain your logic.
I know what tampons are.
They're magic sticks a
woman buys on her period.
That means you're pregnant.
You think if a woman is on her
period, that means she's pregnant?
Uh, yeah, it's a period.
They don't say a woman's
on her question mark.
Anyway. Congrats, Mom.
Welcome to Storkville.
I guess, you'll have new widdle
dimples to write notes for.
Brian Patrick, what
What have they been
teaching you in health class?
It's mostly coming up with an elaborate
backstory for our CPR dummy, Gerald.
He just inherited his
great uncle's ranch
and is hoping it'll
give him a fresh start.
Hey, y'all you can keep the catheters,
but I am taking the no-slip booties.
All right. I'm getting
ahead of the trend.
Hey, anything you want,
it's your bell ring.
Well, in that case,
I am taking the beep-beep-boop
machine. Mwah.
We have been through
a lot together. He's
Well, he's seen me naked.
So you ready?
Actually, I think I want to stay.
(SOFT CHUCKLE) Come on,
let's go ring this darn bell.
("DOG DAYS ARE OVER" BY
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE)
Happiness hit her ♪
Like a bullet in the back ♪
Run fast for your mother
run fast for your father ♪
Run for your children for
your sisters and brothers ♪
Leave all your love
and your longing behind ♪
You can't carry it with
you if you want to survive ♪
The dog days are over ♪
The dog days are done ♪
The horses are coming ♪
So you better run ♪
(BELL RINGS)
(ALL CHEER)
NICO: Ooh.
This is it. I'm finally out of here.
No longer tethered to an IV pole.
This must be how dogs feel when
they're finally let off leash.
Like so.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
Okay. So I know this
is a big step for you.
Which is why I got you this.
- Is it the beep-beep-boop machine?
- Maybe.
It's your patient wristband.
I had it made into a bracelet.
It's Koa wood.
Koa means warrior in Hawaiian.
So, you never forget
the battle we fought.
Wow, um
Thank you.
This is great.
It's just, I was kind of
hoping to forget this place.
Honestly, I never want to think
about a hospital ever again.
But thank you. It's Yeah.
Yeah, of course. (SOFT CHUCKLE)
We're halfway through the
menstrual cycle when things get fun.
A spike of luteinizing hormone
at the end of the
follicular phase and pop!
The oocyte enters the fallopian tube
on its voyage to the uterus.
We're dangerously close to
ruining Christmas, honey.
Oh, um
What's this little puppet show?
I called your principal
to discuss health class.
And long story short,
we mutually agreed that I should come
teach your class all about puberty.
BOTH: No way.
If you do this, Mom, I swear to
God, I will marry a Giants fan.
Ooh, oh, oh. (SIGHS DEEPLY)
Brian Patrick, this is important.
Sure is, Mom.
But you should probably
spice it up a bit.
Seventh graders get bored quick.
You should make it fun.
Like that hospital talent show you did.
- You think I should sing?
- Absolutely not.
- Yeah, that's not a good idea.
- Thank you.
- You should rap.
- Come again, Pops.
- Rap?
- Sure.
I could spin up the old turntables
and DJ, and we can do it together.
- No, no, no, no.
- Ooh.
Big Philly style.
And raps are kind of catchy.
I mean, the kids may actually
remember reproductive facts.
Exactly. This is perfect.
And you love rap, don't you, BP?
I did until 30 seconds ago.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
- So how was Nico's bell ringing?
- Oh, it was perfect.
Tasteful, quick.
No rogue toasts by tipsy relatives.
And the after party was lit.
Noe made it nine minutes in
one of the morgue drawers.
Nine minutes and six seconds.
Yeah, I think Nico had a great time.
Yeah, he seemed really happy.
So, how are you two, huh?
Mm.
Great. (SCOFFS)
Great. We are great.
Okay, three greats
equals "garbage fire."
The only thing is, he really
doesn't want to hear about work.
Body surfing is crazy. I
legit have sand everywhere.
Definitely on my butt.
And I think it's traveled
its way to my ear.
Oh, people get crazy
stuff stuck in their ears.
Last week, a lady
presented with tinnitus
and then we extracted a googly eye!
She said it got stuck in
there in the third grade.
(GIGGLES)
Sorry.
- Another hospital story.
- Hey, no, it's cool.
I am going to jump back
in the water. (GRUNTS)
(WAVES CRASHING)
I mean How can I be myself if I have
to edit the hospital out of my life?
I mean, I'm like 70 percent
hospital and 30 percent
You can't even come up
with the other 30 percent.
That's how hospital you are.
And truth patrol,
sometimes you smell like it.
Oh, awesome.
I just don't get it.
I mean, chemistry has
never been an issue for us.
In the hospital, out at the waterfall.
And we've always been great together.
Yeah, that was back when
you were doctor and patient.
Yeah. You just have to
find your new dynamic.
Right?
Like I had to do with
Kai after years of
Stalking him.
I was going to say adoring,
but the line is razor-thin.
Hmm. It's not that thin.
Own your creep, girl.
Okay, well, how do
we find a new dynamic?
I mean, I can't really escape my job.
Find something you have in
common outside the hospital.
A real connection that can sustain you.
You'll get there even if you
have to dig deep to find it.
- Like we did with googly-eyed Cheryl.
- Ugh.
Was it really that bad?
Girl, I also pulled a
Barbie shoe out of her nose.
Her head was like a Toys R Us.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
So, what would you say
your life philosophy is?
What?
You know, I think that we have to learn
as much as we can in this lifetime
because we're going to use it
somehow in our next lifetime.
But what do you think?
I am mostly trying to
figure out this menu.
(SOFT CHUCKLE)
The zip pack looks good.
My dad loves spam.
Are you a spam man?
Totally. I love spam.
However, I do think anything
beats the hospital food.
Oh, well, what about the
chocolate chip cookies?
Can't get enough of those.
I think the hospital ruined them for me.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Do you hear music or am
I detaching from reality?
You're darn right, I do. Is
that Beauty and the Beast?
I love that movie.
- Tune as old as song ♪
- Me too.
- Oh, come. Come here.
- Bittersweet and strange ♪
- Finding you can change ♪
- It's the ballroom scene.
LAHELA: At the time, the
animation was groundbreaking.
As a kid, I was convinced that
every candlestick could talk,
so, I burned myself many times.
(CHUCKLES)
When my mom was pregnant
with Brian Patrick,
I wish she'd be like Chip, the
anthropomorphic teacup child.
Yes.
Mrs. Potts raised him
as a single kettle,
and she ran the whole darn kitchen.
I mean, mad respect.
- Ooh.
- Oh, she definitely saw us.
Does she look right into my eyes?
- Hello?
- Oh, hi.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Oh, no. You were serious, Dad.
For sure.
Hey, all the Kamealoha men are
blessed with rhythm, even you.
I've heard you freestyle in the shower.
That ain't freestyling, Dad.
Mom, you're all mic'd up. Hit it.
(CLARA RAPPING) Oh, oh ♪
It's gonna be an
educational show ♪
'Cuz my rhymes-like-menstrual-fluid
are ready to flow ♪
Hey, I was gonna scratch it up some!
Here's the deal with the deal.
Last night, I pulled a Lahela and read
everything there is about puberty.
I even downloaded a period tracker app
so you and I could ride the tide.
So no need for you to come to
school and embarrass anyone.
You, me, the long history of rap.
You want to talk embarrassed.
Imagine being a young
woman in your class
who doesn't know what's
happening to her body.
You think that's fun?
Your father and I are doing
this, and that's final.
Now, excuse me.
I need to find a rhyme for follicle.
And before you say it,
I'm already using
Monocle in the pre-chorus.
- (BENNY AND CLARA GASP)
- Oh, rats.
Dad's turntables. We'll have
to cancel the presentation.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
No worries, son.
I got another beatbox
machine right here.
(BEATBOXING)
Oh, that groove is infectious.
My God.
This is why Lahela raced through school.
She is a genius.
(BEATBOXING CONTINUES)
LAHELA: And we are draped.
CHARLES: Ooh. Someone's glowing.
- Did you connect with Nico?
- We found it.
Beauty and the Beast.
- Oh, I love Beauty and the Beast.
- Yes!
Animated orig? Live action
with Hermione Granger.
Late 80's TV series with
my girl, Linda Hamilton.
- Who cares? They're all bangers.
- Yes.
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
Yeah, but it's a little thin, right?
I mean, we all just connected on it.
A movie's a great start.
Just don't pull a Lahela.
Go slow. Builds
Yeah, just build on it.
Big Beauty and the Beast fan.
(IN FRENCH) Good evening, miss.
musk is hitting hard right now.
It's not cologne.
The valet just insisted on Febreze-ing
the inside of my bike helmet.
There is a valet, right?
- Yes.
- Okay.
And Alpine Meadow suits you.
- This place is fancy, huh?
- Yeah.
I thought we'd class it up, so I
set up a little night for us. Here.
Does "class it up" mean
Captain Crunch cosplay?
Because I am down.
No. See, it's like a tailcoat
from Beauty and the Beast.
(LIGHT MUSIC)
(IN FRENCH) The beauty.
(GENTLE MUSIC)
I am so sorry that I asked our
server about the spam du jour.
I did not think that she was
going to go talk to the chef, okay?
Or that the chef was going to
come out here and apologize.
But hey, free escargot!
("TALE AS OLD AS TIME" PLAYING)
Come on, beast.
- Let's dance.
- Oh, no.
Okay.
Tale as old as time ♪
Uh-huh.
True as it can be ♪
Barely even friends ♪
Then somebody bends ♪
Unexpectedly ♪
Just a little change ♪
Small, to say the least ♪
Both a little scared ♪
Neither one prepared ♪
Beauty and the Beast ♪
Ever just the same ♪
Ever a surprise ♪
Ever as before ♪
Ever just as sure ♪
As the sun will rise ♪
Ooh, oh, oh ♪
Tale as old as time ♪
Tune as old as song ♪
Bittersweet and strange ♪
Finding you can change ♪
Learning you were wrong ♪
Certain as the sun ♪
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east ♪
Tale as old as time ♪
Song as old as rhyme ♪
Beauty and the Beast ♪
Tale as old as time ♪
Song as old as rhyme ♪
Beauty and the ♪
Beast ♪
(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)
I am sorry for elbowing you
in the ear during that spin.
That's okay. I deserved it,
after going in for the
lift and kneeing your stuff.
Hey, what are you doing on Tuesday?
There's this band, the HayJos,
and they're having a concert.
Yeah, sounds fun.
Wait. Tuesday?
I actually have a thing.
It's okay. You can tell me.
I'm giving a talk at the hospital.
It's actually about your CAR-T therapy.
Hey, do you maybe want to come?
I mean, I know people
would love to see you.
Oh, wait, did you set all
this up so you could ask me
to be a part of some
sort of cancer show?
What? No. Of course, not.
Like, do you want
me to be the poster boy
- for your big medical success?
- Okay.
I just thought of that right now.
I'm sorry. I just thought you
might want to be a part of it.
No, no. No way. I
I am done with all of that.
Okay, I don't understand
what is going on with you.
Nico, you beat cancer.
- I mean, you're alive.
- Am I?
Because right now I'm
standing on a balcony
and I'm wearing nautical pajamas
and I'm reliving a
cartoon for some reason
and it still comes back to cancer.
Oh, I (SIGHS)
Wait, Nico, wait.
Look, I'm trying to be here for you.
Please, just talk.
You really can't escape
the hospital, can you?
I thought so.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
- Oh, honey, you look amazing.
- CLARA: Yeah.
I can't believe you found
all that in your closet.
The last time I was wearing this
jersey, I was booing Santa Claus.
Today, the P stands for puberty.
And I dusted this look off.
You look great.
And yes, I know the Backstreet
Boys totally stole your look.
(LAUGHS) Oh!
There's Brian Patrick, hi. Hi, honey.
Hi. It's Mom.
- Hey, nerd.
- Kai, what are you doing here?
I told my chemistry teacher
what Mom and Dad are about to do,
and he was like, you got to go see that.
(LAUGHS)
- Look at it. (LAUGHS)
- GIRL: Oh, my God. So embarrassing.
Darn, you mother.
- How's the fire building going?
- I Lahela-ed it.
I went too hard at Beauty and the Beast
and we ended up in a fight
over my CAR-T presentation.
I'm so sorry, sweetie.
I asked Nico to come and he flipped out.
I mean, I don't get it.
Beating cancer is the
best moment of his life.
Well, maybe he doesn't see it that way.
I mean, maybe for him, it's
the end of a painful story.
And not everyone wants to share that.
Or at least not yet.
I mean, in a way, he
really is like the Beast.
Ugh. I am Beauty and the Beast-ed out.
No, think about it.
He told Belle never to visit
the West Wing of the castle
and then got all cranky-puss
about it when she did.
Right? Why?
Because that's where he
kept the enchanted rose.
Right? Like locked up with all the
broken mirrors and the gargoyles
and those portraits with
those gaudy gold frames.
It wasn't until he was ready to
share with the rose meant to him
that the relationship could blossom.
- Beautiful.
- It just came out.
(SIGHS)
I guess, I have been thinking
about all of this as our story.
And it still can be.
You just have to take your time.
Go at his pace.
CLARA: Okay.
Hi, everybody.
I am Brian Patrick's mom.
Who is ready to learn
all about their growing
and changing bodies.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Okay, let's just
Yeah. Kick it.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
Oh, oh ♪
I hear all y'all have
some consternation ♪
Learning about young
ladies' menstruation ♪
But it's a fact-of-life
and totally normal ♪
A mucosal discharge
whose trigger's hormonal ♪
My life is over.
So grab a tampon
and get your cramp-on ♪
Hit-it-with-an-ultra
if it's an amped one ♪
Ride-it-out,
slide-it-in, pad it up ♪
- Or save the day with ♪
- Diva Cup ♪
Or save the day with a Diva Cup ♪
- Hey, DJ Maxi ♪
- Aloha, boss ♪
Time to break it
down with a menopause ♪
(ALL LAUGH)
Boys, just pay attention, okay?
- Boo. You get out!
- That's not nice.
Get off the stage!
(ALL LAUGH)
To the young punks
poking fun and laughing ♪
We'll-see-who's-laughing last
when your voice starts cracking! ♪
(ALL GROAN)
Now there's no
need to stigmatize ♪
Just 'cuz an egg wasn't fertilized ♪
Don't throw shame,
don't get roped-in ♪
Help each other
along like a fallopian ♪
Be like ovaries, organs-so-polite ♪
They take turns from
the left and the right ♪
- Passing lil eggs to a lining so thick ♪
- GIRL: It's good.
Hoping and praying
just one will stick ♪
Our bodies are changing
stuff's starting to smell ♪
Sniff your underarm? ♪
Ripe as hell ♪
But it's all of us and
it's kind of so Gucci ♪
To explore your body
like a tween Vespucci? ♪
Fifteenth century Florentine explorer.
Be cool everybody,
this ain't the '80s ♪
We're all-just-boys-and
girls becoming men and ladies ♪
We're on our own clock
and it's not always fair ♪
My older brother Kai's
still waiting for chest hair ♪
(ALL GROAN)
Widdle Dimps out.
(ALL CHEER, APPLAUSE)
Brian Patrick! That was so awesome.
Thank you for supporting me.
- I knew you had to flow.
- Actually, Dad, women do.
That's why I was trying to support.
And also rap, the entire art form.
You know what? I earned it.
Where's that fire alarm?
(LAUGHS)
- Seriously.
- Oh, Brian Patrick, don't
- Hey.
- Hey.
I'm sorry about the other night.
I've been thinking about beating
cancer as something that we did.
But it is your story.
And if you're not ready to
share it, then I get that.
I appreciate that.
And I am so sorry for
bolting. That was not cool.
I mean, before the check? Come on, bro.
But I should not have said that you
can't get away from the hospital.
The truth is, that's, that's my problem.
You know, I don't know who
I am outside of that place.
It's all I've ever known.
I know how that is.
But I can help you.
And we can figure it out together.
Yeah.
I don't know that we can.
What do you mean?
Lahela, you chose a life at the
hospital, and that's amazing.
That's who you are.
But I did not choose that.
And I just need time.
I need to find out who I am.
What do I choose, you know?
Okay. Well, how much time do you need?
So now what?
Is this it?
Lahela, you saved my life.
But I have to figure out
what I'm going to do with it.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(SOFT LAUGHS)
Thank you.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
It was a long, long road.
But CAR-T cell therapy was successful.
The patient made a full recovery
and his long-term prognosis is positive.
I had wished that he
would be here today.
But
I trust that he is thriving.
And finding himself cancer free.
With any luck,
I hope we can one day
bring this amazing procedure here
to Oahu Med.
Thank you.
(AUDIENCE APPLAUSE)
That was so powerful, Lahela.
Thanks, Mom.
Dr. Kamealoha, your boyfriend
was outside looking for you.
Okay.
Hey.
(SOFT GASP)
(CLOSING THEME MUSIC)
KIDS: Mom.
(MAN GRUNTS)