Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s02e09 Episode Script
Rule #81: There's No Crying in Porn
1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" Harris won't say he's my boyfriend.
So he's not big on commitment.
Not so much.
Not yet anyway.
- JD.
- Hi.
Um, you look nice.
Do you want to go get some tacos? - And you are? - My name's Carl.
You're a gigolo? Prefer "companion," but yeah.
[panting.]
- This is how you like it? - Yeah.
- You okay? - I had a bad date.
Well, I've been meaning to congratulate you.
Gordon Beach, I mean, come on.
Doorman had this for you.
Maybe it's a wedding present.
Oh, my God.
- Here's your card.
Enjoy your day.
- - Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
To remind me of the first night Ooh ooh ooh Oh, excuse me.
Abby.
Abby, friends don't let friends text and walk.
- You could hurt yourself.
- Sorry.
It's just Harris is on fire with the texts.
Ooh, Harris has got it bad.
Yeah, you have no idea.
- We had a talk the other day - Okay.
About seeing other people, which honestly was very hard for me.
- Mm-hmm.
- But as soon as I agreed to it, suddenly he is just all about me.
I think it was just something he needed to say.
Yeah, I think you played that right, Abby.
- You think so? - Mm-hmm.
- Girls, girls - Hi.
I am here to celebrate, ladies.
Ms.
Badass Banai's freeing me of Frumpkis.
- Oh, my God.
- What? Is your divorce final? Not only is it, but the Frumpkii have given up all claim to the bakery.
- That's amazing.
- Jo! Rize is mine! Rize is mine! - [shrieks.]
- Let's get bombed, baby! Boo, I can't.
I have to go home and write after this.
No, no, you can not.
I declare this a national holiday.
Frump Freedom for all.
I wish I could, but I am kind of screwed.
My book is due in a few weeks and I'm on chapter three.
Well, maybe we can help.
We've got three divorces between the two of us? Three.
That's right.
I mean, all I have of chapter three is exactly nothing.
Except the title, which is, uh, "Who do we belong to? Embracing non-monogamy.
" Or "Fun with non-monogamy.
" Soon as we honor Delia, I'm just going straight home to my desk.
- Got it.
- You have it together then.
You're gonna be great.
Okay.
Hey! Woman of the hour! Power woman! - Oh, hi! - Hi! Thanks so much Mwah For coming.
- Oh, well - [phone rings.]
I-I'm sorry, I have to I'm sorry.
I have to Something terrible is happening.
What? I still don't have a drink in my hand.
- [phone chimes.]
- Oh, Jo.
Oh, my God, Abby.
We are going inside.
- I'm sorry.
- Delia's event.
I'm sorry, I'll meet you in there.
I have to go to the restroom anyway.
Oh, Harris.
[phone chimes.]
Abby? What? Carl! I thought what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Hi.
- Usually, yeah.
- Hi.
But I'm actually here with a client.
How are you doing? Oh, you're working.
- Yeah.
- Which one is she? You know I can't tell you that.
Discretion is everything in my line of work.
Of course.
Yes, I understand that.
How would you feel if you were Cameron Diaz? Is it really Cameron Diaz? No.
I wish.
Oh.
[both laugh.]
- Don't do that to me.
- Look at you.
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
You know, I've been in L.
A.
off and on.
Really? And I thought about looking you up a lot.
Really? I just I don't know, I didn't know if it'd be weird.
No, I'm very flattered.
In that case, can I see you again? I mean, technically, I do owe you, because you paid, but you didn't get the full boyfriend experience.
I was very satisfied with my experience.
You gave a great foot massage.
- Magical hands.
- You really do.
That's bad for a Republican.
[shudders.]
Gosh, now I need to bathe.
[both laugh.]
- Here's my card.
- A card? Here until Friday.
Love to see you.
Remind me of the first time - Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Ooh ooh ooh Willing to fall in forever if it feels right [laughs.]
Hey! Oh, my God.
- Phoebe! - What? You're not gonna believe who I just ran into in the lobby.
- Lady Gaga.
- What? - What? - I don't know.
I was thinking about Lady Gaga.
Carl.
From Vegas.
- No! The gigolo? - Oh, my God.
The gigolo! No, he's a companion.
Please keep it down.
- He's here.
- Oh, I have to meet this guy.
No, sit down.
Jo, sit down.
'Cause he is working if you know what I mean.
- What? - Oh, my God.
[cell phone rings.]
- Albert.
Hey, I thought you were getting an award.
Where have you been? I've been calling all morning.
Breakfast meeting, why? Someone sent photographs of the two of us in a hotel to Gordon's house.
What? Did he see them? No.
But, Albert, what the hell? Someone's following us.
Gordon? You think he's on to us? Jesus, I don't know.
I don't think so; he seemed totally normal this morning.
What about Sherry? She's at Terranea for couple of days getting wrapped in seaweed.
She should be home tomorrow, I think.
What are we gonna do? We are going to stay cool.
Cool? Okay, how? Just try to keep your game face.
Okay.
We will figure this out.
Okay.
When are we gonna meet this sad Dr.
Sexy Pants? I have no idea.
Honestly, I don't even know when I'm gonna see him next.
So ask him.
I don't want to seem clingy.
He has been texting you ever since you got here.
Stop being so coy and say, "I want to see you.
" I'm with Abby on this one.
He wants to stay casual.
She has to be more casual than he is.
- Oh, come on, no.
- What if he freaks out about - Who cares? - I did it.
- I told him I want him now.
- All right That is what a feminist looks like.
- Hello.
- All right.
- Boom.
- Oh, wow.
- And he texts back already.
- What'd he say? He is in DC at the at the Correspondents Dinner.
He'll be back in a few days and then when he gets back, we will find a night.
Okay, well, there's your answer.
He'll see you in a couple of days.
Hmm? The Correspondents' Dinner is a big deal.
[scoffs.]
Is it? It's political nerd prom.
It's black tie.
The President's there.
He didn't tell you he was going? Yes, I knew about it.
I didn't know it was this week.
He did tease me about needing a date, so Well, maybe he didn't have a plus one.
Yeah.
- [microphone squealing.]
- Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you all to Power Women 2016.
[applause.]
- All right! I have the extreme honor of presenting our annual Power Women award to one of the most dynamic, brilliant, and powerful women in this great city of ours, a fierce advocate for her clients - Okay - [phone chirping.]
- A strong, unwavering professional, - and the kind of role model I want for my daughters.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ms.
Delia Banai.
- Whoo! Ow! - [cheers and applause.]
[upbeat percussive music.]
We love you! Thank you.
Do not tell me you're live-tweeting this shit show.
Sorry, no, I'm reading Harris's Twitter feed.
He's he's at the Correspondents Dinner in DC.
That's cool, he's with the Obama.
That's fine by me.
It's just, I'm hoping he didn't take that woman from New York as his date, you know, from the book convention, because she is just Oh.
Are you okay? Albert's wife had us followed.
She has pictures of us in a hotel, and if Gordon finds out, my life is over.
Hey.
- Let's breathe, okay? - Okay.
It's just my career.
It's my life, Abby.
This is everything that I have worked for.
And I screwed it up.
Well, what did Albert say? He said to act like it's not happening and, he would work it out, whatever that means.
What am I supposed to do, Abby? I can't go to work.
I'm a wreck.
Gordon Oh, God, I can't tell Gordon.
He's gonna know something's wrong.
Can I stay at your house? Uh oh, yes, sure.
I'll tell him we're having a girl's night.
Yeah, of course.
Come and stay.
Becca's there.
She's living in the guest house.
Okay.
But we'll figure that out.
That's not a big deal.
And I have to warn you, I do have to write all night.
I mean, like 5-hour energy drink/espresso writing.
I'm not gonna make a sound.
I just need a place to hide.
My safe house is your safe house, so.
Okay.
[upbeat rock music.]
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hi.
How are you? What's going on? - How was your day? - Mom, you won't believe it.
My coach says I'm a natural.
He's like, "You have mad skills, Ja.
" Of course you do.
You can do anything.
She has such a strong serve.
And a new outfit, I see.
Oh, yeah, we saw them and we just fell in love, didn't we, Zo? Eey.
Zo-eey.
Oh, of course.
Well, I just call her Zo.
Oh, you might want to take that off so you don't get it dirty before the match.
- Yeah.
- The match? I'm playing in a tournament.
Oh, my gosh, that's great.
I can't wait to see you play.
Actually, Mom I'm so sorry, Joey.
The parents aren't invited.
I'm Jo.
She's Zooey.
Why can't the parents come? Well, the coaches want the girls to start seeing themselves as athletes and competitors.
With the parents there, they might lose focus.
That's not right.
She's gonna be competing and nobody's gonna be there to cheer her on? - I'll be there.
- Why do you get to go? Oh, first of all, I'm a team captain, and second, I'm not Zo's mama.
I'm just her buddy.
[both chuckle nervously.]
Please, Mom? Yeah.
Yeah, sure, why not? Yeah, of course, if it's club rules, then Of course.
Why don't you go change? Okay.
- She's so cute in that.
- You give it a rest, psycho.
I think we both remember what you were doing with Scott the last time we saw each other.
You are not right in la cabeza.
So let me be clear.
If you do one thing around my kid that is remotely nuts, I'm coming after you.
You understand? Yes.
Change of venue, so it'll be on Tuesday now [phones ringing.]
I thought you were staying home.
I need to know what's going on.
She wants you fired.
What? No.
- Delia, it's okay - No, it's not okay, Albert.
And by the way, why doesn't she want you fired? Because she wants me to keep making the money she so loves to spend.
Look, she's upset but I promise you, I will handle it.
How? A few days will pass, I'll say I'm sorry, we'll plan a vacation, it'll blow over.
It always does.
I'm sorry, what? Have you done this before? Not this.
But I've had flings.
Flings.
- Plural.
- Yes.
Although this one could cost me.
You're a pretty big fish.
Who were the little fish? [sighs.]
It was just one night stands, mainly [audio distorting.]
Paralegals Women who were around the office.
They meant absolutely [indistinct laughter and chatter.]
- Hey.
- Hey! Oh, my God, you came! Hey, Abby.
Hey, what's going on out there, Payton? The gang for "Blood Sisters" never got a chance to say good-bye to Becca.
It all happened so fast.
So they just wanted to come by and throw her a little baby shower, is that cool? Just as long as there's only a couple people.
For sure.
- Okay.
- Great, great, all right! Abby.
Why don't you come have a drink with us? The girls They're catching us up on everything that's happened on set.
I can't.
I have to write.
Big deadline.
Oh, got it.
We'll keep it down.
And Abby Thanks for being so cool.
That's me.
Coolio.
Coolio Iglesias.
Okay.
[distant pop music.]
[indistinct chatter.]
[chatter gets louder.]
[distant cheering.]
[cell phone buzzing.]
Hey, hot stuff.
What are you wearing? - Frowny face.
- Huh.
Harris did indeed have a plus one and it is Miss New York.
Oh, suck that.
What a tool.
- Yeah.
- Come on! Now I'm distracted by all this.
No, you know what? This is what I agreed to.
The problem is that he's "having fun with non-monogamy" while I am sitting here, trying to write about it, without having lived it.
- I like where this is going.
- Yes! I need to get out there and do some research.
Starting now.
Bring it on in here, fellas.
Say "Hottie sandwich!" - Both: Hottie sandwich! - [laughs.]
Tag me on Instagram, sexy.
I will definitely do that.
[muttering.]
How do I do that? Um Hey! Hey! You're having fun.
Am I crazy, or is Kip, you know, hitting on me? You are not crazy.
Kip would hook up with anything.
Not that you are anything.
That's not what I meant.
I know what you meant.
And I'm not looking for picky.
I'm just looking for pick me! [laughs awkwardly.]
I'm kidding.
Let's me and you take a picture.
Oh, God, no.
Let me see.
Abby! You look camera thin.
Did you lose weight? I did not, and that's just the pregnant talking.
God, I know.
I'm like a beached manatee.
Well, manatees are cuddly and adorable.
It's got to be so much harder to be not allowed to move.
This whole bed rest.
I can only imagine.
Look at all these insane gifts you got! Oh, my God.
"Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.
" I should have been the one that gave this to you.
Oh, why didn't I think of this? Is there anything in there on bloating? Bloating.
Bladder control.
There's a whole section on body changes.
And I-I did go a little bit overboard on the whole diarrhea thing.
I kind of forgot I'm living with the expert.
I know.
Apparently I did too.
[gasps.]
Will you sign it for me? [laughs.]
Let's see.
"To my ex-husband's ex-girlfriend "who is currently my live-in, non-sexual girlfriend.
" Will I ever be able to wear a bikini again? You will, you'll get back in shape in no time.
Abby.
You had two kids.
You wrote the book.
Tell me the truth.
It's gonna be fine.
And you can always get your boobs fixed.
[laughs.]
[heavy metal music.]
JD? JD? JD! Hi! [music stops.]
- Hi.
- What are you doing here? Yogurtland, 'cause all good things spring from the land of yogurt.
We talked about it before, remember, on the on the phone last night? This place has tons of flavors and all these, magical toppings.
It's like the, unicorn of frozen yogurt.
Oh, yeah, the unicorn yogurt.
Yes, that was I'm sorry.
I should have called, I just The gallery gave me your address, and I I wanted to say hi again in person.
And I was dying to see your art.
Uh Wow.
Are these all yours? Wow, they're They're intense.
I mean, they're great.
Is this how you experience women? I I don't really have What? Experience? [clears throat.]
JD, I'm sorry, I shouldn't I c I can't I can't talk about it.
We don't need to talk about it.
I have some.
Some experience.
Okay.
I just never made it all the way to completion.
Oh.
Can I These women Do you mind if I ask? Okay.
Are these women that you have been with or Not so much physically.
I know them from I watch, a lot of Porn? Yeah.
Porn.
These are all women from porn.
I think because I have a hard time talking to live people.
You're talking to me.
And last time I checked, I'm pretty alive.
Sorry, lady, we're closed.
How did we do today? Completely out of Cruffin-Nookies.
I'd say that butter is winning this week.
Cool.
I thought you left early to be with Zooey.
Uh, she has a thing today.
A "thing"? What thing? She has a tennis tournament at the club.
Ah, and you're not there? What, make you too nervous to watch her? No, it's It's not cool for the parents to be there.
Makes the kids feel like kids.
Do you want to be there? Yeah, sure.
Then go.
Nah, I'm officially uninvited.
Club rules.
No, no, no, no, no This is something else.
This is capitulation.
This is defeat.
Rules are rules.
You rule.
God, I mean, you're acting like you have no right to your own daughter whatsoever.
Why don't you finish closing up? Okay, I'm going home.
Look, Jo, you can tell me to piss off, you know.
Just talk to me.
Jo.
Look.
How about you come over and hang at my place, yeah? We'll have some beers.
Have a talk.
Jo, something's not right with you.
No hanky-panky, I promise.
Thanks, but I'm not falling into your sweet man trap.
Night.
[laidback pop music.]
Abby? [cheering.]
Hey, Delia.
Hi.
- You're throwing a party.
- I thought you had to write.
- I do.
It's just this swarm of impossibly beautiful youth descended on my house and so Albert is a man-whore.
- Excuse me? - He's a serial cheater.
He cheats serially.
He has done what he did with me with other women many, many times.
Okay, first, wow.
And then, wow.
I risked my entire future on a man who will just sleep with anything that moves.
It turns out, he can have any woman he wants.
[men cheering.]
I think we should get drunk with those children.
I am way ahead of you on that one.
- Harris had a date.
- [groans.]
And at first, I was all, "What?" And then I was all, "right.
" And then I was like, "you know what, "I can sit here and be all pathetic or I can get out there and do what's good for the gander.
" - Meaning get laid? - Oh, yes.
Well, honey, you need a real man.
You don't need one of these, Ken dolls.
You're right.
I need a real man.
Hello there.
I know this is short notice, but are you free tonight? I am free.
And for you, on the house.
15-love.
Uh-oh, all right, I'll be right back.
Hi.
Hey, I don't know a thing about tennis.
What'd she say about love? Oh, it means zero.
The other girl hasn't scored.
Aha, love means nothing.
Huh, great game you got going on here.
- Oh.
- Hey, how's our girl doing? Hey, Jo.
Didn't expect to see you.
Didn't expect to see you here.
What happened to no parents? Well, Robert's a member.
And he's also taken an interest in tennis himself.
He is in the beginner's clinic.
Oh, of course he has.
Well, Robert's always been a follower.
Ah, come on, Jo.
Robert! Class is starting.
I got to go.
You two, play nice.
Hydrate, Honeybear.
I will hydrate.
Drinking water.
So important.
Who knew? Match point.
Looks like one more point and Zooey will win the match.
- Are you serious? - Mm-hmm, yeah.
- No way! - Yep.
[laughs.]
- She won? - Yep.
- She won? - Yeah! She won! Oh, yeah! - Jo - Congratulations! Yeah! Baby! I'm so proud of you! Oh, how cool are you? Oh, Charlene, what happened to my serve the last time? What do you mean? Your serve was great! You creamed that kid! You were just dropping your head, sweetie.
You need to look up for the ball.
- Okay, so like that? - Yeah.
Yeah, just keep that tossing arm up while you go up to it.
- Okay, right.
- There you go.
- Hey, Zo.
- Come on, Zo.
Mom, the kids are going out for Pho.
Can I go with them? Well, I was hoping we could, you know Yeah.
Of course, it's your event.
Go.
- Bye.
- Thanks, Jo.
I'll have her back to you by 10:00.
Zo! [somber music.]
Great job.
I was diagnosed, at 11.
Social anxiety disorder.
Doesn't that just mean you're shy? Um Debilitatingly shy.
Meeting new people is challenging.
Well, you talked to me when we met.
I was drawing you.
Work is different.
It's almost like being alone.
But, I mean, also um, it's you.
Me what? It's you're easier to speak with.
Good.
Because I like talking to you.
I like looking at you.
I like you.
I like you too.
Good, so we have that in common.
I just don't think that love should be that limiting.
But how can it not be? I mean, if you love somebody, you don't want to share them.
- Why not? - That's easy for you to say.
I mean, you you make a living seeing a lot of women so [laughs.]
If you were in a relationship, I think you would I am in a relationship.
What? Really? How's that work? Well, it's good.
We have an agreement.
We're open.
I just don't think I'm built that way.
Ah, more of a one-man woman? No, more, I don't know, insecure.
- Come on.
- I get jealous.
- Really? - Yeah.
I mean, if you're into somebody, if I'm into somebody, I don't want to I just want to keep 'em all to myself.
- Yeah.
- Is that wrong? I mean, maybe it's 'cause I'm old.
Nothing you can do about it.
The heart wants what it wants.
But my lady and I feel that loving each other doesn't mean that we should be closed to new experiences.
- Hmm, yeah.
- Hmm.
Okay.
Who's the guy? Someone.
Someone who is more comfortable being non-monogamous.
And you just want to lock it down? I don't know.
Maybe I want to make it more of a two-way street.
Interesting.
I like that.
A lot.
With you.
['60s pop music.]
God What's her story? She was at a resort, I think? And then she wanted a massage, and an Asian girl came into her hotel room.
Not her porn story.
Who is she? What is she feeling? Oh.
Hmm, I don't I don't know.
Well, why did you paint her? I was just trying to get the form right.
What do you feel when you look at her? Scared.
When I watch the the stuff I watch, everybody knows what to do.
- They're all - They're actors.
They're pretending.
I don't know how to do that.
Well, let me help you.
I mean, not to pretend.
But to To feel.
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry.
God, I'm sorry, Phoebe.
I think I gave you the wrong impression.
I'm not interested in you that way.
Oh.
I'm really sorry.
I I I I appreciate what you're trying to do.
No, I'm I'm sorry to assume.
Um Could I have some water? She wants me fired.
Out of the building, never to be heard from again.
That bitch.
I mean, yeah.
I'm sleeping with her husband.
But it's Albert.
He's like - He's like my - Gymnastics coach? What? No.
He's like my work husband.
I have a work boyfriend.
He plays my boyfriend on the show.
And I'm sleeping with him.
Yeah.
I need to keep this job.
My whole life is over if Oh, God.
This woman is gonna destroy me.
- Why? - Hey.
Shh, she does not want you fired.
What makes you say that? Because it's what she asked for.
I played a lawyer once.
- You? - I wore glasses.
And this person was saying that they wanted, like, $100,000, but really, they just wanted their mother's love.
A lot of characters just want love.
Huh.
I'd really like to pose for you.
Um Okay.
Here's your water.
I was lying.
You're all I think about.
I can't eat.
I can't sleep.
You have no idea how hard it was for me to get that yogurt down.
I thought I was going to choke on the cookie pieces.
- I want you so bad.
- Shh I just don't want to disappoint you.
You won't, no matter what.
But you have to promise me that I'm not pushing you into something that you don't You aren't ready for.
That's not what's happening.
I am beyond ready.
I just might need a little bit of help.
Okay, so let's just let's explore.
Look, porn is great for some things, but it's not real.
It's super intimidating.
And half the things they show, women don't even like anyways.
Like what? I don't know who came up with coming all over a woman's face.
But not fun.
Not for me anyways.
It's really annoying.
Huh.
But it feels really, really good when two people are in it and they are connected and the warmth just - Feels warm? - It feels amazing.
Sometimes, that's what sends me over the edge.
I want to take you over the edge.
Then do it.
Okay, why me? Why Stop! I don't know, JD.
I don't know.
I just know how I feel.
Me too.
I'm gonna kiss you now.
And I've emptied out my cards too Now I'm leaning on that Bring your love, baby, I can bring my shame Bring the drugs, baby, I can bring my pain Jo.
Still got that beer you promised me? Yeah, 'course.
Come in.
So this is how tuna fish feel.
Minus the mercury.
So did you make the tournament? Yeah, yeah, I did.
And? She won.
Nice! Good for her! Yeah.
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
God, I would have loved to have seen Charlene's face when you turned up.
I bet she was furious.
She was actually okay.
Come on, she's a super villain with pageant hair.
She cares about my kid.
Why are you spoiling this for me? I mean, Charlene, she might have problems and everything, but I'm the one my kid's embarrassed of.
She didn't even want me there today.
Well, one day, she'll remember that you were there and it will matter.
Why are you second guessing your instincts, Jo? I came in there like a Mac truck, today.
And Zooey, she just tolerated me.
She tolerated me.
Jo.
What's going on? I did something really stupid.
Um I let somebody hurt me.
It was, one of the creeps I went out with.
And this psycho could have killed me.
[giggles.]
Wow [laughs.]
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Did I I know I should ask this but You were right on the money, babe.
I thought so.
Sorry about the part where I cried.
That was beautiful.
I don't know.
There's no crying in porn.
Oh, I'm pretty sure everybody cries in porn.
Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.
Thank you.
You can leave now.
Do you want me to go? Oh, I just don't want to take up any more of your time.
Oh.
Oh, I thought we'd go again, but, yeah, that's probably a good idea, I'll just go Yes, please! Okay, my Uber is here, so I'll walk you down.
Oh, no, that's okay.
Thank you.
That was exactly the kind of everything I needed.
A little fun with non-monogamy.
It's what we both needed.
I'm glad you called.
Me too.
Are you sure you've got to grab that Uber? Let me know when you're If you come back into town.
- I am coming back actually.
- Yeah? - In a couple weeks.
- Oh.
If everything goes the way I hope, I may be getting a place here.
Really? Because of your client? I was actually thinking about getting back into acting.
I had a meeting with some agents this week.
And I hope you don't mind, but I used your name at WME.
Uh I knew they repped you and it got me a meeting.
So I'll let you know how everything turns out.
Okay.
Um that's great.
- So.
- Whoa, hey, hey.
Hey, get back here.
Okay.
Good night, Abby.
Good night.
- Your pelvis goes forward.
- Um-hmm.
Your back is straight, chest up, shoulders back.
And then it's just up down, up down.
Okay.
Hold on a second.
Okay.
So it's like this? - Uh-huh.
- And then? Up, down.
[laughs.]
- This is posting? - Yeah.
It's also called banging your balls on the back of a horse.
I don't have any balls.
Well, not you, but [laughs.]
- I definitely don't.
- No, you don't.
[laughter.]
You are, like, a totally different person then when I first met you.
Well, a lot has happened since then.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, it was really good yogurt.
- It is.
- You're amazing.
That's what's different.
You're amazing.
- No, you are.
- You are.
You are.
- You are.
- All right.
It's 7:00 a.
m.
What are you doing summoning me here at this ungodly hour? I'm not waiting for you to handle things.
- You don't have a choice.
- I think I do.
Sherry.
You have ten minutes.
Then let me be direct.
I owe you an apology.
What I did was wrong.
I wasn't thinking about the damage I was doing to you or your marriage, and I'm sorry.
I want you to know there was never anything substantial between us.
It was a mistake.
And it'll never happen again.
Thank you.
Can I go now? Not until you tell me: what do you really want? I want this to have never happened.
You know I can't give you that.
[sighs.]
I want the Malibu house titled to me as well as the London flat.
I want the suite at Dodger Stadium, and I want the court-side Laker season tickets.
- Hold on.
- Seems fair.
Is that it? What is this, a divorce negotiation? Are you leaving me? Not yet.
That's it.
For now.
I think this firm still has some growth potential.
Sherry.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Sorry.
I came in to get some milk and it just felt so nice in here.
You all right? I think I'm gonna quit acting.
I don't feel much like an actress.
You are in the manatee stage.
No major decisions.
It's all so stupid, pretending to be a superhero vampire who's in love with a demon king.
People are crazy about your show.
Abby, I couldn't talk to anyone at the party last night.
It's like they were speaking a foreign language.
"So-and-so's hooking up with so-and-so" and "What's-her-name left the show.
" And I just didn't care.
It's okay.
But I want to care.
Those people are my friends, you know What if we don't get each other anymore? I'll lose them.
Maybe.
But you can't force yourself to be somewhere you're not.
I mean, I have been doing my damnedest with Harris, but So, what? It's just over? No, it's not over.
It's just different, maybe.
Changing.
What is? Everything.
It's the starkness of the dawn So show me where you fit
So he's not big on commitment.
Not so much.
Not yet anyway.
- JD.
- Hi.
Um, you look nice.
Do you want to go get some tacos? - And you are? - My name's Carl.
You're a gigolo? Prefer "companion," but yeah.
[panting.]
- This is how you like it? - Yeah.
- You okay? - I had a bad date.
Well, I've been meaning to congratulate you.
Gordon Beach, I mean, come on.
Doorman had this for you.
Maybe it's a wedding present.
Oh, my God.
- Here's your card.
Enjoy your day.
- - Thank you.
- Thank you so much.
To remind me of the first night Ooh ooh ooh Oh, excuse me.
Abby.
Abby, friends don't let friends text and walk.
- You could hurt yourself.
- Sorry.
It's just Harris is on fire with the texts.
Ooh, Harris has got it bad.
Yeah, you have no idea.
- We had a talk the other day - Okay.
About seeing other people, which honestly was very hard for me.
- Mm-hmm.
- But as soon as I agreed to it, suddenly he is just all about me.
I think it was just something he needed to say.
Yeah, I think you played that right, Abby.
- You think so? - Mm-hmm.
- Girls, girls - Hi.
I am here to celebrate, ladies.
Ms.
Badass Banai's freeing me of Frumpkis.
- Oh, my God.
- What? Is your divorce final? Not only is it, but the Frumpkii have given up all claim to the bakery.
- That's amazing.
- Jo! Rize is mine! Rize is mine! - [shrieks.]
- Let's get bombed, baby! Boo, I can't.
I have to go home and write after this.
No, no, you can not.
I declare this a national holiday.
Frump Freedom for all.
I wish I could, but I am kind of screwed.
My book is due in a few weeks and I'm on chapter three.
Well, maybe we can help.
We've got three divorces between the two of us? Three.
That's right.
I mean, all I have of chapter three is exactly nothing.
Except the title, which is, uh, "Who do we belong to? Embracing non-monogamy.
" Or "Fun with non-monogamy.
" Soon as we honor Delia, I'm just going straight home to my desk.
- Got it.
- You have it together then.
You're gonna be great.
Okay.
Hey! Woman of the hour! Power woman! - Oh, hi! - Hi! Thanks so much Mwah For coming.
- Oh, well - [phone rings.]
I-I'm sorry, I have to I'm sorry.
I have to Something terrible is happening.
What? I still don't have a drink in my hand.
- [phone chimes.]
- Oh, Jo.
Oh, my God, Abby.
We are going inside.
- I'm sorry.
- Delia's event.
I'm sorry, I'll meet you in there.
I have to go to the restroom anyway.
Oh, Harris.
[phone chimes.]
Abby? What? Carl! I thought what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Hi.
- Usually, yeah.
- Hi.
But I'm actually here with a client.
How are you doing? Oh, you're working.
- Yeah.
- Which one is she? You know I can't tell you that.
Discretion is everything in my line of work.
Of course.
Yes, I understand that.
How would you feel if you were Cameron Diaz? Is it really Cameron Diaz? No.
I wish.
Oh.
[both laugh.]
- Don't do that to me.
- Look at you.
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
You know, I've been in L.
A.
off and on.
Really? And I thought about looking you up a lot.
Really? I just I don't know, I didn't know if it'd be weird.
No, I'm very flattered.
In that case, can I see you again? I mean, technically, I do owe you, because you paid, but you didn't get the full boyfriend experience.
I was very satisfied with my experience.
You gave a great foot massage.
- Magical hands.
- You really do.
That's bad for a Republican.
[shudders.]
Gosh, now I need to bathe.
[both laugh.]
- Here's my card.
- A card? Here until Friday.
Love to see you.
Remind me of the first time - Bye-bye.
- Bye.
Ooh ooh ooh Willing to fall in forever if it feels right [laughs.]
Hey! Oh, my God.
- Phoebe! - What? You're not gonna believe who I just ran into in the lobby.
- Lady Gaga.
- What? - What? - I don't know.
I was thinking about Lady Gaga.
Carl.
From Vegas.
- No! The gigolo? - Oh, my God.
The gigolo! No, he's a companion.
Please keep it down.
- He's here.
- Oh, I have to meet this guy.
No, sit down.
Jo, sit down.
'Cause he is working if you know what I mean.
- What? - Oh, my God.
[cell phone rings.]
- Albert.
Hey, I thought you were getting an award.
Where have you been? I've been calling all morning.
Breakfast meeting, why? Someone sent photographs of the two of us in a hotel to Gordon's house.
What? Did he see them? No.
But, Albert, what the hell? Someone's following us.
Gordon? You think he's on to us? Jesus, I don't know.
I don't think so; he seemed totally normal this morning.
What about Sherry? She's at Terranea for couple of days getting wrapped in seaweed.
She should be home tomorrow, I think.
What are we gonna do? We are going to stay cool.
Cool? Okay, how? Just try to keep your game face.
Okay.
We will figure this out.
Okay.
When are we gonna meet this sad Dr.
Sexy Pants? I have no idea.
Honestly, I don't even know when I'm gonna see him next.
So ask him.
I don't want to seem clingy.
He has been texting you ever since you got here.
Stop being so coy and say, "I want to see you.
" I'm with Abby on this one.
He wants to stay casual.
She has to be more casual than he is.
- Oh, come on, no.
- What if he freaks out about - Who cares? - I did it.
- I told him I want him now.
- All right That is what a feminist looks like.
- Hello.
- All right.
- Boom.
- Oh, wow.
- And he texts back already.
- What'd he say? He is in DC at the at the Correspondents Dinner.
He'll be back in a few days and then when he gets back, we will find a night.
Okay, well, there's your answer.
He'll see you in a couple of days.
Hmm? The Correspondents' Dinner is a big deal.
[scoffs.]
Is it? It's political nerd prom.
It's black tie.
The President's there.
He didn't tell you he was going? Yes, I knew about it.
I didn't know it was this week.
He did tease me about needing a date, so Well, maybe he didn't have a plus one.
Yeah.
- [microphone squealing.]
- Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to welcome you all to Power Women 2016.
[applause.]
- All right! I have the extreme honor of presenting our annual Power Women award to one of the most dynamic, brilliant, and powerful women in this great city of ours, a fierce advocate for her clients - Okay - [phone chirping.]
- A strong, unwavering professional, - and the kind of role model I want for my daughters.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ms.
Delia Banai.
- Whoo! Ow! - [cheers and applause.]
[upbeat percussive music.]
We love you! Thank you.
Do not tell me you're live-tweeting this shit show.
Sorry, no, I'm reading Harris's Twitter feed.
He's he's at the Correspondents Dinner in DC.
That's cool, he's with the Obama.
That's fine by me.
It's just, I'm hoping he didn't take that woman from New York as his date, you know, from the book convention, because she is just Oh.
Are you okay? Albert's wife had us followed.
She has pictures of us in a hotel, and if Gordon finds out, my life is over.
Hey.
- Let's breathe, okay? - Okay.
It's just my career.
It's my life, Abby.
This is everything that I have worked for.
And I screwed it up.
Well, what did Albert say? He said to act like it's not happening and, he would work it out, whatever that means.
What am I supposed to do, Abby? I can't go to work.
I'm a wreck.
Gordon Oh, God, I can't tell Gordon.
He's gonna know something's wrong.
Can I stay at your house? Uh oh, yes, sure.
I'll tell him we're having a girl's night.
Yeah, of course.
Come and stay.
Becca's there.
She's living in the guest house.
Okay.
But we'll figure that out.
That's not a big deal.
And I have to warn you, I do have to write all night.
I mean, like 5-hour energy drink/espresso writing.
I'm not gonna make a sound.
I just need a place to hide.
My safe house is your safe house, so.
Okay.
[upbeat rock music.]
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hi.
How are you? What's going on? - How was your day? - Mom, you won't believe it.
My coach says I'm a natural.
He's like, "You have mad skills, Ja.
" Of course you do.
You can do anything.
She has such a strong serve.
And a new outfit, I see.
Oh, yeah, we saw them and we just fell in love, didn't we, Zo? Eey.
Zo-eey.
Oh, of course.
Well, I just call her Zo.
Oh, you might want to take that off so you don't get it dirty before the match.
- Yeah.
- The match? I'm playing in a tournament.
Oh, my gosh, that's great.
I can't wait to see you play.
Actually, Mom I'm so sorry, Joey.
The parents aren't invited.
I'm Jo.
She's Zooey.
Why can't the parents come? Well, the coaches want the girls to start seeing themselves as athletes and competitors.
With the parents there, they might lose focus.
That's not right.
She's gonna be competing and nobody's gonna be there to cheer her on? - I'll be there.
- Why do you get to go? Oh, first of all, I'm a team captain, and second, I'm not Zo's mama.
I'm just her buddy.
[both chuckle nervously.]
Please, Mom? Yeah.
Yeah, sure, why not? Yeah, of course, if it's club rules, then Of course.
Why don't you go change? Okay.
- She's so cute in that.
- You give it a rest, psycho.
I think we both remember what you were doing with Scott the last time we saw each other.
You are not right in la cabeza.
So let me be clear.
If you do one thing around my kid that is remotely nuts, I'm coming after you.
You understand? Yes.
Change of venue, so it'll be on Tuesday now [phones ringing.]
I thought you were staying home.
I need to know what's going on.
She wants you fired.
What? No.
- Delia, it's okay - No, it's not okay, Albert.
And by the way, why doesn't she want you fired? Because she wants me to keep making the money she so loves to spend.
Look, she's upset but I promise you, I will handle it.
How? A few days will pass, I'll say I'm sorry, we'll plan a vacation, it'll blow over.
It always does.
I'm sorry, what? Have you done this before? Not this.
But I've had flings.
Flings.
- Plural.
- Yes.
Although this one could cost me.
You're a pretty big fish.
Who were the little fish? [sighs.]
It was just one night stands, mainly [audio distorting.]
Paralegals Women who were around the office.
They meant absolutely [indistinct laughter and chatter.]
- Hey.
- Hey! Oh, my God, you came! Hey, Abby.
Hey, what's going on out there, Payton? The gang for "Blood Sisters" never got a chance to say good-bye to Becca.
It all happened so fast.
So they just wanted to come by and throw her a little baby shower, is that cool? Just as long as there's only a couple people.
For sure.
- Okay.
- Great, great, all right! Abby.
Why don't you come have a drink with us? The girls They're catching us up on everything that's happened on set.
I can't.
I have to write.
Big deadline.
Oh, got it.
We'll keep it down.
And Abby Thanks for being so cool.
That's me.
Coolio.
Coolio Iglesias.
Okay.
[distant pop music.]
[indistinct chatter.]
[chatter gets louder.]
[distant cheering.]
[cell phone buzzing.]
Hey, hot stuff.
What are you wearing? - Frowny face.
- Huh.
Harris did indeed have a plus one and it is Miss New York.
Oh, suck that.
What a tool.
- Yeah.
- Come on! Now I'm distracted by all this.
No, you know what? This is what I agreed to.
The problem is that he's "having fun with non-monogamy" while I am sitting here, trying to write about it, without having lived it.
- I like where this is going.
- Yes! I need to get out there and do some research.
Starting now.
Bring it on in here, fellas.
Say "Hottie sandwich!" - Both: Hottie sandwich! - [laughs.]
Tag me on Instagram, sexy.
I will definitely do that.
[muttering.]
How do I do that? Um Hey! Hey! You're having fun.
Am I crazy, or is Kip, you know, hitting on me? You are not crazy.
Kip would hook up with anything.
Not that you are anything.
That's not what I meant.
I know what you meant.
And I'm not looking for picky.
I'm just looking for pick me! [laughs awkwardly.]
I'm kidding.
Let's me and you take a picture.
Oh, God, no.
Let me see.
Abby! You look camera thin.
Did you lose weight? I did not, and that's just the pregnant talking.
God, I know.
I'm like a beached manatee.
Well, manatees are cuddly and adorable.
It's got to be so much harder to be not allowed to move.
This whole bed rest.
I can only imagine.
Look at all these insane gifts you got! Oh, my God.
"Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.
" I should have been the one that gave this to you.
Oh, why didn't I think of this? Is there anything in there on bloating? Bloating.
Bladder control.
There's a whole section on body changes.
And I-I did go a little bit overboard on the whole diarrhea thing.
I kind of forgot I'm living with the expert.
I know.
Apparently I did too.
[gasps.]
Will you sign it for me? [laughs.]
Let's see.
"To my ex-husband's ex-girlfriend "who is currently my live-in, non-sexual girlfriend.
" Will I ever be able to wear a bikini again? You will, you'll get back in shape in no time.
Abby.
You had two kids.
You wrote the book.
Tell me the truth.
It's gonna be fine.
And you can always get your boobs fixed.
[laughs.]
[heavy metal music.]
JD? JD? JD! Hi! [music stops.]
- Hi.
- What are you doing here? Yogurtland, 'cause all good things spring from the land of yogurt.
We talked about it before, remember, on the on the phone last night? This place has tons of flavors and all these, magical toppings.
It's like the, unicorn of frozen yogurt.
Oh, yeah, the unicorn yogurt.
Yes, that was I'm sorry.
I should have called, I just The gallery gave me your address, and I I wanted to say hi again in person.
And I was dying to see your art.
Uh Wow.
Are these all yours? Wow, they're They're intense.
I mean, they're great.
Is this how you experience women? I I don't really have What? Experience? [clears throat.]
JD, I'm sorry, I shouldn't I c I can't I can't talk about it.
We don't need to talk about it.
I have some.
Some experience.
Okay.
I just never made it all the way to completion.
Oh.
Can I These women Do you mind if I ask? Okay.
Are these women that you have been with or Not so much physically.
I know them from I watch, a lot of Porn? Yeah.
Porn.
These are all women from porn.
I think because I have a hard time talking to live people.
You're talking to me.
And last time I checked, I'm pretty alive.
Sorry, lady, we're closed.
How did we do today? Completely out of Cruffin-Nookies.
I'd say that butter is winning this week.
Cool.
I thought you left early to be with Zooey.
Uh, she has a thing today.
A "thing"? What thing? She has a tennis tournament at the club.
Ah, and you're not there? What, make you too nervous to watch her? No, it's It's not cool for the parents to be there.
Makes the kids feel like kids.
Do you want to be there? Yeah, sure.
Then go.
Nah, I'm officially uninvited.
Club rules.
No, no, no, no, no This is something else.
This is capitulation.
This is defeat.
Rules are rules.
You rule.
God, I mean, you're acting like you have no right to your own daughter whatsoever.
Why don't you finish closing up? Okay, I'm going home.
Look, Jo, you can tell me to piss off, you know.
Just talk to me.
Jo.
Look.
How about you come over and hang at my place, yeah? We'll have some beers.
Have a talk.
Jo, something's not right with you.
No hanky-panky, I promise.
Thanks, but I'm not falling into your sweet man trap.
Night.
[laidback pop music.]
Abby? [cheering.]
Hey, Delia.
Hi.
- You're throwing a party.
- I thought you had to write.
- I do.
It's just this swarm of impossibly beautiful youth descended on my house and so Albert is a man-whore.
- Excuse me? - He's a serial cheater.
He cheats serially.
He has done what he did with me with other women many, many times.
Okay, first, wow.
And then, wow.
I risked my entire future on a man who will just sleep with anything that moves.
It turns out, he can have any woman he wants.
[men cheering.]
I think we should get drunk with those children.
I am way ahead of you on that one.
- Harris had a date.
- [groans.]
And at first, I was all, "What?" And then I was all, "right.
" And then I was like, "you know what, "I can sit here and be all pathetic or I can get out there and do what's good for the gander.
" - Meaning get laid? - Oh, yes.
Well, honey, you need a real man.
You don't need one of these, Ken dolls.
You're right.
I need a real man.
Hello there.
I know this is short notice, but are you free tonight? I am free.
And for you, on the house.
15-love.
Uh-oh, all right, I'll be right back.
Hi.
Hey, I don't know a thing about tennis.
What'd she say about love? Oh, it means zero.
The other girl hasn't scored.
Aha, love means nothing.
Huh, great game you got going on here.
- Oh.
- Hey, how's our girl doing? Hey, Jo.
Didn't expect to see you.
Didn't expect to see you here.
What happened to no parents? Well, Robert's a member.
And he's also taken an interest in tennis himself.
He is in the beginner's clinic.
Oh, of course he has.
Well, Robert's always been a follower.
Ah, come on, Jo.
Robert! Class is starting.
I got to go.
You two, play nice.
Hydrate, Honeybear.
I will hydrate.
Drinking water.
So important.
Who knew? Match point.
Looks like one more point and Zooey will win the match.
- Are you serious? - Mm-hmm, yeah.
- No way! - Yep.
[laughs.]
- She won? - Yep.
- She won? - Yeah! She won! Oh, yeah! - Jo - Congratulations! Yeah! Baby! I'm so proud of you! Oh, how cool are you? Oh, Charlene, what happened to my serve the last time? What do you mean? Your serve was great! You creamed that kid! You were just dropping your head, sweetie.
You need to look up for the ball.
- Okay, so like that? - Yeah.
Yeah, just keep that tossing arm up while you go up to it.
- Okay, right.
- There you go.
- Hey, Zo.
- Come on, Zo.
Mom, the kids are going out for Pho.
Can I go with them? Well, I was hoping we could, you know Yeah.
Of course, it's your event.
Go.
- Bye.
- Thanks, Jo.
I'll have her back to you by 10:00.
Zo! [somber music.]
Great job.
I was diagnosed, at 11.
Social anxiety disorder.
Doesn't that just mean you're shy? Um Debilitatingly shy.
Meeting new people is challenging.
Well, you talked to me when we met.
I was drawing you.
Work is different.
It's almost like being alone.
But, I mean, also um, it's you.
Me what? It's you're easier to speak with.
Good.
Because I like talking to you.
I like looking at you.
I like you.
I like you too.
Good, so we have that in common.
I just don't think that love should be that limiting.
But how can it not be? I mean, if you love somebody, you don't want to share them.
- Why not? - That's easy for you to say.
I mean, you you make a living seeing a lot of women so [laughs.]
If you were in a relationship, I think you would I am in a relationship.
What? Really? How's that work? Well, it's good.
We have an agreement.
We're open.
I just don't think I'm built that way.
Ah, more of a one-man woman? No, more, I don't know, insecure.
- Come on.
- I get jealous.
- Really? - Yeah.
I mean, if you're into somebody, if I'm into somebody, I don't want to I just want to keep 'em all to myself.
- Yeah.
- Is that wrong? I mean, maybe it's 'cause I'm old.
Nothing you can do about it.
The heart wants what it wants.
But my lady and I feel that loving each other doesn't mean that we should be closed to new experiences.
- Hmm, yeah.
- Hmm.
Okay.
Who's the guy? Someone.
Someone who is more comfortable being non-monogamous.
And you just want to lock it down? I don't know.
Maybe I want to make it more of a two-way street.
Interesting.
I like that.
A lot.
With you.
['60s pop music.]
God What's her story? She was at a resort, I think? And then she wanted a massage, and an Asian girl came into her hotel room.
Not her porn story.
Who is she? What is she feeling? Oh.
Hmm, I don't I don't know.
Well, why did you paint her? I was just trying to get the form right.
What do you feel when you look at her? Scared.
When I watch the the stuff I watch, everybody knows what to do.
- They're all - They're actors.
They're pretending.
I don't know how to do that.
Well, let me help you.
I mean, not to pretend.
But to To feel.
Oh.
Oh.
Sorry.
God, I'm sorry, Phoebe.
I think I gave you the wrong impression.
I'm not interested in you that way.
Oh.
I'm really sorry.
I I I I appreciate what you're trying to do.
No, I'm I'm sorry to assume.
Um Could I have some water? She wants me fired.
Out of the building, never to be heard from again.
That bitch.
I mean, yeah.
I'm sleeping with her husband.
But it's Albert.
He's like - He's like my - Gymnastics coach? What? No.
He's like my work husband.
I have a work boyfriend.
He plays my boyfriend on the show.
And I'm sleeping with him.
Yeah.
I need to keep this job.
My whole life is over if Oh, God.
This woman is gonna destroy me.
- Why? - Hey.
Shh, she does not want you fired.
What makes you say that? Because it's what she asked for.
I played a lawyer once.
- You? - I wore glasses.
And this person was saying that they wanted, like, $100,000, but really, they just wanted their mother's love.
A lot of characters just want love.
Huh.
I'd really like to pose for you.
Um Okay.
Here's your water.
I was lying.
You're all I think about.
I can't eat.
I can't sleep.
You have no idea how hard it was for me to get that yogurt down.
I thought I was going to choke on the cookie pieces.
- I want you so bad.
- Shh I just don't want to disappoint you.
You won't, no matter what.
But you have to promise me that I'm not pushing you into something that you don't You aren't ready for.
That's not what's happening.
I am beyond ready.
I just might need a little bit of help.
Okay, so let's just let's explore.
Look, porn is great for some things, but it's not real.
It's super intimidating.
And half the things they show, women don't even like anyways.
Like what? I don't know who came up with coming all over a woman's face.
But not fun.
Not for me anyways.
It's really annoying.
Huh.
But it feels really, really good when two people are in it and they are connected and the warmth just - Feels warm? - It feels amazing.
Sometimes, that's what sends me over the edge.
I want to take you over the edge.
Then do it.
Okay, why me? Why Stop! I don't know, JD.
I don't know.
I just know how I feel.
Me too.
I'm gonna kiss you now.
And I've emptied out my cards too Now I'm leaning on that Bring your love, baby, I can bring my shame Bring the drugs, baby, I can bring my pain Jo.
Still got that beer you promised me? Yeah, 'course.
Come in.
So this is how tuna fish feel.
Minus the mercury.
So did you make the tournament? Yeah, yeah, I did.
And? She won.
Nice! Good for her! Yeah.
- Have a seat.
- Thank you.
God, I would have loved to have seen Charlene's face when you turned up.
I bet she was furious.
She was actually okay.
Come on, she's a super villain with pageant hair.
She cares about my kid.
Why are you spoiling this for me? I mean, Charlene, she might have problems and everything, but I'm the one my kid's embarrassed of.
She didn't even want me there today.
Well, one day, she'll remember that you were there and it will matter.
Why are you second guessing your instincts, Jo? I came in there like a Mac truck, today.
And Zooey, she just tolerated me.
She tolerated me.
Jo.
What's going on? I did something really stupid.
Um I let somebody hurt me.
It was, one of the creeps I went out with.
And this psycho could have killed me.
[giggles.]
Wow [laughs.]
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Did I I know I should ask this but You were right on the money, babe.
I thought so.
Sorry about the part where I cried.
That was beautiful.
I don't know.
There's no crying in porn.
Oh, I'm pretty sure everybody cries in porn.
Believe me, you have nothing to worry about.
Thank you.
You can leave now.
Do you want me to go? Oh, I just don't want to take up any more of your time.
Oh.
Oh, I thought we'd go again, but, yeah, that's probably a good idea, I'll just go Yes, please! Okay, my Uber is here, so I'll walk you down.
Oh, no, that's okay.
Thank you.
That was exactly the kind of everything I needed.
A little fun with non-monogamy.
It's what we both needed.
I'm glad you called.
Me too.
Are you sure you've got to grab that Uber? Let me know when you're If you come back into town.
- I am coming back actually.
- Yeah? - In a couple weeks.
- Oh.
If everything goes the way I hope, I may be getting a place here.
Really? Because of your client? I was actually thinking about getting back into acting.
I had a meeting with some agents this week.
And I hope you don't mind, but I used your name at WME.
Uh I knew they repped you and it got me a meeting.
So I'll let you know how everything turns out.
Okay.
Um that's great.
- So.
- Whoa, hey, hey.
Hey, get back here.
Okay.
Good night, Abby.
Good night.
- Your pelvis goes forward.
- Um-hmm.
Your back is straight, chest up, shoulders back.
And then it's just up down, up down.
Okay.
Hold on a second.
Okay.
So it's like this? - Uh-huh.
- And then? Up, down.
[laughs.]
- This is posting? - Yeah.
It's also called banging your balls on the back of a horse.
I don't have any balls.
Well, not you, but [laughs.]
- I definitely don't.
- No, you don't.
[laughter.]
You are, like, a totally different person then when I first met you.
Well, a lot has happened since then.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, it was really good yogurt.
- It is.
- You're amazing.
That's what's different.
You're amazing.
- No, you are.
- You are.
You are.
- You are.
- All right.
It's 7:00 a.
m.
What are you doing summoning me here at this ungodly hour? I'm not waiting for you to handle things.
- You don't have a choice.
- I think I do.
Sherry.
You have ten minutes.
Then let me be direct.
I owe you an apology.
What I did was wrong.
I wasn't thinking about the damage I was doing to you or your marriage, and I'm sorry.
I want you to know there was never anything substantial between us.
It was a mistake.
And it'll never happen again.
Thank you.
Can I go now? Not until you tell me: what do you really want? I want this to have never happened.
You know I can't give you that.
[sighs.]
I want the Malibu house titled to me as well as the London flat.
I want the suite at Dodger Stadium, and I want the court-side Laker season tickets.
- Hold on.
- Seems fair.
Is that it? What is this, a divorce negotiation? Are you leaving me? Not yet.
That's it.
For now.
I think this firm still has some growth potential.
Sherry.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Sorry.
I came in to get some milk and it just felt so nice in here.
You all right? I think I'm gonna quit acting.
I don't feel much like an actress.
You are in the manatee stage.
No major decisions.
It's all so stupid, pretending to be a superhero vampire who's in love with a demon king.
People are crazy about your show.
Abby, I couldn't talk to anyone at the party last night.
It's like they were speaking a foreign language.
"So-and-so's hooking up with so-and-so" and "What's-her-name left the show.
" And I just didn't care.
It's okay.
But I want to care.
Those people are my friends, you know What if we don't get each other anymore? I'll lose them.
Maybe.
But you can't force yourself to be somewhere you're not.
I mean, I have been doing my damnedest with Harris, but So, what? It's just over? No, it's not over.
It's just different, maybe.
Changing.
What is? Everything.
It's the starkness of the dawn So show me where you fit