Good Girls (2018) s02e09 Episode Script
One Last Time
1 Previously, on "Good Girls" Did you come to steal my baby like you stole my husband? We can do this.
Let's meet this little guy.
- Are you in love with your ex? - Kind of.
So do I even have a shot here? [MOANING.]
- How's it going with the sister? - I'm out of the friend zone.
- Already? - Yeah.
- You didn't tell him yet? - Tell me what? We're partners now.
What's homeboy look like? That's him.
- [GASPING.]
- Can you guys kill him or not? Half up front, the rest after we dust him.
Oh, my God! Oh, no, no, no! First thing that you did was to check on your money.
He left me, and he took my kids.
It'll be worse for him when they find out he took the pen cap.
So you let me know how you want to play it.
You took this from my house while my daughter was missing.
Are you gonna give it to him? - No.
- I would never even think about it.
Did you remove a pen cap from the evidence locker? I did not.
I failed.
- Like, inconclusive or - Capital "F".
Failed.
Feds, they opened up an IA deal or whatever.
- I have literally no idea - Internal Affairs, okay? They investigate dirty cops.
You might want to pack an umbrella today.
I'm done.
- You quit? - You get them up.
- I'm so over it.
- [LAUGHS.]
You pull the covers off? "Covers"? I threw water in their faces.
There's a full-on insubordination at this point.
And then when we're 30 minutes late for drop-off, - who's gonna get the call? - You get the call.
- I get the call.
- All right, I got this.
- Drink that.
- Thank you.
[TV PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
[PLAYING BACH'S TOCCATA AND FUGUE.]
[EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES.]
- Oh, that's nasty.
- Right? [LAUGHS.]
Daddy! Stop it, Daddy! You're gonna give us nightmares.
Then don't be sleeping.
Okay, cereal's on the table.
- I want hotcakes.
- Hotcakes? You must still be dreaming if you think - you're gonna get hotcakes.
- [KNOCKING.]
You expecting somebody? - No.
- Hmm.
You need a haircut, buddy.
Morning.
Morning, all.
- Mind if we come in? - What's going on? - What's up, Mike? - You guys go get dressed.
What's happening? You mind if we not do this in front of them? I need you to turn around, buddy.
Let's just talk about this, okay? Mhmm, been there, done that.
You have the right to remain silent.
- I know the drill, Mike.
- Go to your rooms.
Hey, hey, listen.
Listen to your mommy, okay? Daddy's gonna be fine, okay? You go to school and I'm gonna call you when I can, okay? [BOTH MOUTHING WORDS.]
This didn't have to happen.
[DOOR SHUTS.]
- [CHILDREN LAUGHING DISTANTLY.]
- [FRANCE GALL'S "CHARLEMAGNE" PLAYING.]
Qui a eu cette idée folle un jour d'inventer l'école Qui a eu cette idée folle un jour d'inventer l'école C'est ce [CHILDREN YELLING.]
De nous laisser dans la vie, que les dimanches, les jeudis Hey, Mommy! We're making panca [MUSIC, VOICES STOP.]
You can't just take them away.
Is this where you meet? Who says that? "Mommy's friend with the drawings on his neck.
" [CHILDREN CHATTERING, LAUGHING.]
I keep them far away.
Jane says he's got a little boy about her age.
- What do you want? - I want you done.
- It's not that simple.
- I want my family safe.
How do you think we pay for things? - Who cares? - We could lose our house.
- So we'll get an apartment.
- With four children? Probably sleep better.
It's not just the house, Dean.
It's braces, it's college, it's the clothes on their backs.
At least the park would be a park again.
Wait! Will you just wait? What about Emma's birthday? We're doing it at my mom's.
Kids would love to see you.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[TV PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
Pajamas? It's almost lunch.
Gee, thanks for the update, Father Time.
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
Great, come on in.
Um I just wanted to say thank you for delivering my son.
Starbucks.
You shouldn't have.
Look, it'd be weird if I got you, like, a tennis bracelet or a massage or I just didn't want to be creepy.
So you went with what you get your postman on Christmas.
Everybody loves a latte.
Hey, um, thanks so much for putting absolutely no thought into this.
I have to get to work, so maybe we could talk another time.
Hey, where are my pants? Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm Noah.
He's my friend.
I've heard really great things about you.
Um you move fast.
I work with him.
Of course you do.
He's my boss.
Ah, of course he is.
[SHOWER RUNNING.]
Well, enjoy your lattes.
[MUFFLED CHATTER.]
Next.
Hey, how you doing? Well, look who it is.
Can we just do this? I knew you'd be back.
How much this time? - 35.
- Hundred? Thousand.
Do I look like a genie to you? I've brought my pay stubs.
- For $500.
- So? So you must be tripping, girl.
Your wish is denied.
Next.
I am in real trouble, okay? Well, you wouldn't be here if you weren't.
I need to post bail.
Aww, bunny.
For who? My husband.
Mhmm.
- What's that? - What's what? "Mhmm.
" I'm just wondering how it feels.
How what feels? Being no better than the rest of us.
Next.
There's no security.
It's basically just him, the safe, and his bitch-ass judgment.
What if he recognizes you? I'll drive getaway.
Isn't he behind glass? We wait till it closes, he comes out to lock up.
You hold the gun, B hits the safe.
We're gonna need new masks.
My treat.
- Can I pick them? - Sure.
Then I'm down.
I'm gonna lose my kids.
Stan is in a jail cell.
- Because of us.
- I just need to get him out.
I know.
I mean, how else am I gonna get the money? I need 35 grand.
Yeah, I'm not Merrill Lynch.
Well, then can I get some fake cash so I can move cars? [LAUGHS.]
Uh, how's my cut coming? [MOODY POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
- Slow.
- And why's that? You know why.
So those stoner kids didn't feel bad and put all your money back? You'll get your cut.
And when you do, you'll get more money.
That's how this all works.
You know what would be so nice? Hmm? Is if you gave me a break just once.
Rough week? My husband took my children.
I know it's lonely at the top.
[SCOFFS.]
Will you set her up for me.
On my tab, please.
I'll have another.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
So here's the thing.
Are you trashed right now? He's in jail because I'm not.
You are bombed.
So if we're gonna do this thing, I would like to choose the masks.
Okay.
And also, can I stay the night here? Because it's really weird without my kids.
It's really weird without Stan, too.
Only three stuffed animals, all right? Last time your suitcase looked like Noah's damn Ark.
Poor Grammy was picking up fuzz for a week.
Hustle.
She's making you spaghetti.
- How's Daddy gonna eat? - They'll feed him.
Where does he go to the bathroom? You know, in a bathroom.
- There's a toilet in the cell.
- What's a cell? Okay, you know what? Daddy's gonna come home real soon.
But right now we gotta motor, or Grammy's gonna eat all your spaghetti.
No! Go get your animals then, go.
And not that giant thing you won at the fair.
Go find your retainer, please.
Did he do it? It's complicated.
Did he do what they said he did? Yes.
Then he should stay in jail.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Wanna do something? - Uh - Look, I know you're supposed to wait two days or whatever to not seem like a psycho, but it's tomorrow in India and I ordered a pizza.
- To here? - And wings.
- Huh.
- Yeah, and then I felt gross, so I ordered a salad and some green juice.
Wow.
And then I didn't want to come off like one of those health nuts, so I ordered Chinese.
Mm.
Well, I I have to go do something with my sister.
Her husband left, so it's kind of like a whole thing.
Oh.
I'd love to meet her.
You know, you you just met my ex.
- I feel like that's enough.
- Mm.
That's a lot.
Okay, I tell you what.
Why don't you stay here, okay? - Okay.
- Eat till you barf.
- I'll be back.
- Right.
[QUIRKY PIANO MUSIC.]
[SAINT PRIVAT'S "POISSON ROUGE" PLAYING.]
[MICROWAVE DOOR SHUTS.]
I'm starving.
Why do you even eat those things? They take three minutes to heat in the microwave.
That's a plus? They're ten for ten bucks at Kroger.
Yeah, 'cause you gotta eat like four of them to make one regular meal.
You know what else is a lean cuisine? - Hmm? - Ordering a Big Mac - and taking one bite.
- Mm.
Or having, like, three fries, and it tastes way better.
- Okay.
- Or one bite of pizza.
All the toppings you want.
- Boom! - Mm-hmm.
- We should market this.
- Why are we in crime? You guys, 10:00.
That's how you use the clock thing, FYI.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
So cute.
I know.
I found cute colors.
I was gonna tie-dye mine, but [DEVIOUS MUSIC.]
Don't move! We're closed, y'all.
This'll be quick.
- Come on! - Go, move! Okay, okay.
I'm moving, I'm moving.
All right.
- Hurry up! - I'm moving, I'm moving.
- Open the safe! - I'm opening it.
[SAFE BEEPING.]
Come on! It's not gonna open.
- What do you mean? - It's on a timer.
It won't open again till morning.
What? I mean, I'm happy to do this all night, but someone gonna see your asses in the window and call the cops, so What do we do? Why don't y'all just come back in the morning? I'll bring the croissants.
At some point, I'm gonna need a burrito.
And a big old cup to urinate in.
- Oh, my God.
- It's the only way to get the money.
What else were we supposed to do? How about anything? Oh, I'm sorry, should we have left him there? He would have had the cops waiting with donuts when we were back.
Croissants, but I can't believe y'all kidnapped a guy.
Again.
He's like a baby bird, you know? You you can't touch it and then just put it back.
That is not a baby bird.
That is a grown-ass man duct-taped to a booster seat.
We have to feed him and care for his bodily needs.
So, a baby bird.
Oh! Emma's birthday! Hey! Hey! Hey, yo! Yo, anyone out there? Yeah, we're back here.
Hey, you got my food? We're working on it.
Hey, and, uh, can somebody fire up my next playlist? What do you, uh, want to hear? Phillatio.
That's "P-H.
" Straight up Phil Collins.
Can I help you? [SIGHS.]
Hey.
Yeah, uh I was just looking for a towel.
Hall closet.
Okay, see, your mom just said "closet.
" Whoa, these are dope.
They used to be my grandpa's.
Oh, yeah? You know how to do a Windsor? Is that the big one? It's the power knot.
I don't know any of them.
Oh.
Well, I'll show you.
But first you have to help me take down all those wings out there.
Yeah, my mom said you went crazy.
Mm, I like having options, so - [COUGHS.]
- You can smell it from the hall.
Yeah, it's a real clash of cultures, isn't it? [MELLOW MUSIC.]
You figure out how to take a dump with ten guys watching you yet? No matter how long you're in there you never learn how to wipe with dignity.
[SIGHS.]
- What's your angle, here, man? - That's a fair question.
Um, you go on record saying you saw Leslie Peterson's murder.
How Beth Boland chopped him up, put him in a freezer, and threw away his body.
I didn't say any of that.
Well, I didn't see you take that pen cap, but I know you did.
How's that? - I got a guy who saw you.
- Who? I haven't found him yet.
But there's always someone out there that needs to save his own ass, right? Well, you know I'm not that kind of cop.
I can also find a guy to say he saw you take that missing cash from the Linwood bust.
I guess you'd know the type.
Listen, man, you do what you gotta do to get to the letter of the law.
Think about it, okay? You know what I was thinking about? How you say at my table and you pretended like we were the same.
Not so much, huh? Not at all.
Brother.
Not at all.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
[PLAYFUL HOLLERING.]
[SIGHS.]
[CHILDREN LAUGHING.]
[IMITATING CHOMPING NOISES.]
I'm gonna eat you! [GOOFY GROWLING.]
Oh, oh, oh! Mommy! Hey! Happy birthday! Hey, sweetie.
[SMOOCHES.]
I missed you.
Thank you so much for doing this.
- Happy to.
- I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to be late.
Yeah, what, uh what happened? That nest in the front yard, a baby bird just fell right out.
Hmm.
Hit me up with another one, will ya? [SIGHS.]
- I need some salsa.
- I just dipped you.
But I'm gonna need it on every bite, girl.
Look, the chip is just a vehicle to get the salsa to my mouth.
Okay, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
En fuego.
[SCOFFS.]
Okay, you know what? We're out of chips.
Can I have my burrito then? You do know that there's still a gun pointed to your head, right? Second one this month.
- Seriously? - And you know what? I'm no gun rights person, but honestly, if you don't shoot me and I get a burrito out of it, it's a hell of a lot better than getting yelled at by a bunch of trash people who think that their money problems are somehow my fault when they just need to get off they dumb asses and get they lives right.
So, what's up? Where my burrito at? - I forgot it.
- No you didn't.
Yes, I did.
[SNIFFS.]
I smell the chorizo.
[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY.]
How 'bout you dig up that guac you also forgot? [CHILDREN CHATTERING.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, I-I I put a knife in the freezer for that.
Then it doesn't stick to the frosting.
Oh, I just ran it under hot water.
- Does that work as well? - Better.
Hmm.
I'll have to try it next time.
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
Now, if John were here, he'd be six scotches in by now.
Dean said he loved a party.
Oh, he was the life of the party.
He was Santa at Christmas, had a pie-eating contest every Thanksgiving.
On July 4th he'd take Dean down to Indiana and fill the car with illegal fireworks.
Dean does that with Kenny.
- Does he? - He's a good dad.
So was John.
[SNIFFS.]
Not much of a husband, though.
He dipped his pen in the company inkwell many times.
How many? I stopped counting.
Dean's never said a word.
Well, the kids want to remember Santa, and pies, and skyrockets.
And the crazy thing is, in the end it's all that matters.
Would you grab the ice cream? And run the scoop under hot water.
Judith? Did Dean tell you what's going on? He told me why he left.
What'd he say? That he's too much like his father.
- [GROANING.]
- You got this, you got this! You got this! Go! [GRUNTING.]
[MUFFLED SPEECH.]
Now I'm gonna barf.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[GRUNTS, LAUGHS.]
[SCOFFS.]
- Fail! - Oh, well.
Someone's at the door - Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
I've been waiting downstairs for like 20 minutes.
Oh oh, my gosh.
Uh, I forgot.
Did you pack a bag? We were watching a movie.
Do that at the hotel.
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY.]
- Sorry.
- Do they have "Top Gun" at the hotel, though? 'Cause he's never seen it, so Do you, like, live here now? No, Annie and I had plans and then she had to go, so All right, 'cause you're here, like a lot.
I would have brought Sadie down.
I didn't know.
No, no, no.
It's fine, it's fine.
Um Annie probably just forgot that you were coming.
Yeah, well, she is kind of a mess.
I don't know about that.
Mm, I know her pretty well.
[EPIC MUSIC PLAYS ON TV.]
Look, uh, I wouldn't get too comfortable here.
- What does that mean? - Well, I just don't think she really knows what she wants.
Well, I think she knows what she doesn't want.
Ready.
- See you, Goose.
- Later, Mav.
It's a classic.
I know.
[MELLOW MUSIC.]
What time is it? Almost go time.
Hey, wake up.
[GROANS.]
God, I got the worst taste in my mouth.
Ugh.
Let's just do this.
I'm coming in.
You have to drive.
There's something I need to do.
[SPITS.]
Just wake him up.
Come on, sunshine.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
It's time to make those donuts.
[DEVIOUS MUSIC.]
Okay, great.
Now get down on the floor.
- Okay.
- But easy, easy.
- Head down.
Now count.
- How high? - I don't know, a million.
- That that's impossible.
List all the Phil Collins songs.
Uh Su-Su-Sussudio - I got it, let's go.
- [STAMMERING.]
"Against All Odds" - Come on.
We gotta go.
- "In the Air Tonight.
" Hold up, I'm looking for something.
Uh, that was a good one.
"In the Air Tonight.
" Do y'all remember "In the Air Tonight"? Where are the contracts everyone signs? - Contracts for what? - What are you doing? The ones with the nasty fine print.
- Red cabinet.
- Head down! - Okay, uh, "A Groovy Kind of Love" - Dude! - What are you doing? - I need another bag.
I only brought this one.
Okay, take as many as you can.
- Okay, why? - 'Cause no one should feel like trash.
We gotta go, now! - Now! Down.
- Ooh! "I Wish It Would Rain Down.
" That was a good one.
Hey, bunny.
I knew you'd be back.
[INTROSPECTIVE MUSIC.]
We can run away But we can't hide for long I don't know why I can't change I will always stay this way And thinking of you Thinking of you Thinking of you [MUSIC FADES.]
So how'd you do it? I robbed a Qwik Cash with the girls.
Which one? Six mile.
Good.
That guy's a dick.
So you're just cool with it now? You did what you had to.
[SIGHS.]
You're a cop, Stanley.
I don't even know what that means.
Just don't get caught.
Got the keys? - My mom, uh, got her makeup.
- Are you kidding me? Full on Texas pageant glitter action.
All you want to do is keep them off the pole.
Mama Boland's got different plans.
Why didn't you tell her the truth? I did.
I cheated on you.
Well, that's not the reason I got into book club.
Isn't it? Getting cheated on makes you do crazy things.
Like hire teenage hitmen.
How'd you know? I'm not a total idiot.
- It's over.
- Which part? All of it.
Bring the children home, okay? [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Ugh.
Why are you always here? Why are you always sleeping? I had a night.
I bet.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
What did Sadie forget? Uh What's with this dude? What do you mean? I mean, you've known him for like a second and all of a sudden he's Sadie's wingman? So? So it's not normal.
- What, that that he likes me? - No, not That somebody would actually want to stick around after boning me, or ? No, just the fact that he's so far up your ass after, I don't know, a week? Okay, I'm sorry, don't you have a new family to deal with? - It's shady.
- Yeah.
Why don't you go ahead and give Idaho a little skin-to-skin? His name is Dakota.
[LONG EXHALE.]
I'm a D-bag, okay? So I know when I see one.
Just Be careful.
[MOODY MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY.]
[GRUNTS.]
I'll have another.
And he'll have a Chardonnay.
No, I won't.
Whatever you want.
Your tab's still open.
You're starting early, huh? [CLEARS THROAT.]
The one perk to losing your kids What's that? Day drinking.
Thanks, man.
Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Dean's bringing them home tonight.
That's good.
And I have your cut.
Even better.
I don't have it here.
Sorry.
Didn't get a chance to Can I get you something to eat? Yeah, what you got? I could make you a sandwich.
Yeah, I'm not really much of a sandwich guy.
- I'm out of bread anyway.
- [CHUCKLES.]
What am I doing here, Elizabeth? It's just habit.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[MOANS SOFTLY.]
My kids will be home soon.
Here's your cut.
I thought you left it at home? - Guess not.
- [CHUCKLES.]
All right, swing by tomorrow.
- I'll hook you up with the funny money.
- I don't need it.
- Yeah, but how you - I'm not.
I'm done.
Is that right? No more cash, no more pills.
I'm gonna take a shower.
You should go.
It's over.
Next? [KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
Welcome to Qwik Cash.
How may I assist you today? Why didn't you tell the cops? We offer many different types of loans.
I know when I'm being hustled.
Did your mother teach you those manners? How 'bout a "thank you"? If you want a cut of the money, it's already gone.
Yeah, I didn't think it went into your 401K.
- Okay, you know what? You might think I'm trash, but I work really hard for what I have.
And I've got a 12-hour shift ahead of me my second double of the week and it's barely gonna cover my groceries let alone the roof over my head which I only have, by the way, because my mother who wrote the book on manners, I'll have you know died.
God rest her soul.
I want your address.
Don't you have it in your system? No, I need it for your school district.
You can get your GED online.
I majored in finance at MSU, bitch.
Then who's it for? My nephew.
He's smart.
Or I I could go to the cops.
Fine.
Little nerd just needs a leg up.
We all do.
[WOMEN VOCALIZING.]
[BITTERSWEET MUSIC.]
Save it for the sake of the fight Copy/paste the child inside You used to smile, but now you are staged I hate to watch you walk away I hate to watch you walk away Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? I hate to watch you walk away Thank you, baby.
I hate to watch you walk away I hate to watch you walk away CHILDREN: Mommy! Oh, my goodness, hi! [OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
[MOUTHS "THANK YOU".]
[PEPPY POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
[BILLIARD BALLS THUDDING.]
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Noah, right? It's Noah? - BOTH: Yeah.
- Oops.
Um, so I had an epiphany.
Why are we, as a company, not making, uh, bite-sized treats? I think we should slow things down.
With us.
- Oh.
- Yeah, I just you, I mean, I have I have a kid, so I I gotta be careful.
- You know? - Yeah, right.
I don't even really know anything about you, you know? What do you want to know? Just that you're not a total D-bag.
[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY.]
Here's the thing uh, I kinda am.
Seriously? - Yeah, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my God.
What why do I always do this? I'm not just a grocery store manager.
I'm I'm on probation.
For what? Well, I stole from my last job, and then I had to lie to get this one.
- What did you steal? - Money.
Lots of it over a long period of time and then, uh I mean, it was, uh they didn't notice at first and then it got easier.
Listen, I'm not this is not something I'm proud of.
Noah.
- What? - Sweet, sweet Noah.
[INHALES.]
What? Okay, we're gonna need some shots for this conversation, because we are so much more alike than you could ever know.
Let's meet this little guy.
- Are you in love with your ex? - Kind of.
So do I even have a shot here? [MOANING.]
- How's it going with the sister? - I'm out of the friend zone.
- Already? - Yeah.
- You didn't tell him yet? - Tell me what? We're partners now.
What's homeboy look like? That's him.
- [GASPING.]
- Can you guys kill him or not? Half up front, the rest after we dust him.
Oh, my God! Oh, no, no, no! First thing that you did was to check on your money.
He left me, and he took my kids.
It'll be worse for him when they find out he took the pen cap.
So you let me know how you want to play it.
You took this from my house while my daughter was missing.
Are you gonna give it to him? - No.
- I would never even think about it.
Did you remove a pen cap from the evidence locker? I did not.
I failed.
- Like, inconclusive or - Capital "F".
Failed.
Feds, they opened up an IA deal or whatever.
- I have literally no idea - Internal Affairs, okay? They investigate dirty cops.
You might want to pack an umbrella today.
I'm done.
- You quit? - You get them up.
- I'm so over it.
- [LAUGHS.]
You pull the covers off? "Covers"? I threw water in their faces.
There's a full-on insubordination at this point.
And then when we're 30 minutes late for drop-off, - who's gonna get the call? - You get the call.
- I get the call.
- All right, I got this.
- Drink that.
- Thank you.
[TV PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
[PLAYING BACH'S TOCCATA AND FUGUE.]
[EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES.]
- Oh, that's nasty.
- Right? [LAUGHS.]
Daddy! Stop it, Daddy! You're gonna give us nightmares.
Then don't be sleeping.
Okay, cereal's on the table.
- I want hotcakes.
- Hotcakes? You must still be dreaming if you think - you're gonna get hotcakes.
- [KNOCKING.]
You expecting somebody? - No.
- Hmm.
You need a haircut, buddy.
Morning.
Morning, all.
- Mind if we come in? - What's going on? - What's up, Mike? - You guys go get dressed.
What's happening? You mind if we not do this in front of them? I need you to turn around, buddy.
Let's just talk about this, okay? Mhmm, been there, done that.
You have the right to remain silent.
- I know the drill, Mike.
- Go to your rooms.
Hey, hey, listen.
Listen to your mommy, okay? Daddy's gonna be fine, okay? You go to school and I'm gonna call you when I can, okay? [BOTH MOUTHING WORDS.]
This didn't have to happen.
[DOOR SHUTS.]
- [CHILDREN LAUGHING DISTANTLY.]
- [FRANCE GALL'S "CHARLEMAGNE" PLAYING.]
Qui a eu cette idée folle un jour d'inventer l'école Qui a eu cette idée folle un jour d'inventer l'école C'est ce [CHILDREN YELLING.]
De nous laisser dans la vie, que les dimanches, les jeudis Hey, Mommy! We're making panca [MUSIC, VOICES STOP.]
You can't just take them away.
Is this where you meet? Who says that? "Mommy's friend with the drawings on his neck.
" [CHILDREN CHATTERING, LAUGHING.]
I keep them far away.
Jane says he's got a little boy about her age.
- What do you want? - I want you done.
- It's not that simple.
- I want my family safe.
How do you think we pay for things? - Who cares? - We could lose our house.
- So we'll get an apartment.
- With four children? Probably sleep better.
It's not just the house, Dean.
It's braces, it's college, it's the clothes on their backs.
At least the park would be a park again.
Wait! Will you just wait? What about Emma's birthday? We're doing it at my mom's.
Kids would love to see you.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[TV PLAYS INDISTINCTLY.]
Pajamas? It's almost lunch.
Gee, thanks for the update, Father Time.
- Excuse me.
- Hey.
Great, come on in.
Um I just wanted to say thank you for delivering my son.
Starbucks.
You shouldn't have.
Look, it'd be weird if I got you, like, a tennis bracelet or a massage or I just didn't want to be creepy.
So you went with what you get your postman on Christmas.
Everybody loves a latte.
Hey, um, thanks so much for putting absolutely no thought into this.
I have to get to work, so maybe we could talk another time.
Hey, where are my pants? Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm Noah.
He's my friend.
I've heard really great things about you.
Um you move fast.
I work with him.
Of course you do.
He's my boss.
Ah, of course he is.
[SHOWER RUNNING.]
Well, enjoy your lattes.
[MUFFLED CHATTER.]
Next.
Hey, how you doing? Well, look who it is.
Can we just do this? I knew you'd be back.
How much this time? - 35.
- Hundred? Thousand.
Do I look like a genie to you? I've brought my pay stubs.
- For $500.
- So? So you must be tripping, girl.
Your wish is denied.
Next.
I am in real trouble, okay? Well, you wouldn't be here if you weren't.
I need to post bail.
Aww, bunny.
For who? My husband.
Mhmm.
- What's that? - What's what? "Mhmm.
" I'm just wondering how it feels.
How what feels? Being no better than the rest of us.
Next.
There's no security.
It's basically just him, the safe, and his bitch-ass judgment.
What if he recognizes you? I'll drive getaway.
Isn't he behind glass? We wait till it closes, he comes out to lock up.
You hold the gun, B hits the safe.
We're gonna need new masks.
My treat.
- Can I pick them? - Sure.
Then I'm down.
I'm gonna lose my kids.
Stan is in a jail cell.
- Because of us.
- I just need to get him out.
I know.
I mean, how else am I gonna get the money? I need 35 grand.
Yeah, I'm not Merrill Lynch.
Well, then can I get some fake cash so I can move cars? [LAUGHS.]
Uh, how's my cut coming? [MOODY POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
- Slow.
- And why's that? You know why.
So those stoner kids didn't feel bad and put all your money back? You'll get your cut.
And when you do, you'll get more money.
That's how this all works.
You know what would be so nice? Hmm? Is if you gave me a break just once.
Rough week? My husband took my children.
I know it's lonely at the top.
[SCOFFS.]
Will you set her up for me.
On my tab, please.
I'll have another.
[KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
So here's the thing.
Are you trashed right now? He's in jail because I'm not.
You are bombed.
So if we're gonna do this thing, I would like to choose the masks.
Okay.
And also, can I stay the night here? Because it's really weird without my kids.
It's really weird without Stan, too.
Only three stuffed animals, all right? Last time your suitcase looked like Noah's damn Ark.
Poor Grammy was picking up fuzz for a week.
Hustle.
She's making you spaghetti.
- How's Daddy gonna eat? - They'll feed him.
Where does he go to the bathroom? You know, in a bathroom.
- There's a toilet in the cell.
- What's a cell? Okay, you know what? Daddy's gonna come home real soon.
But right now we gotta motor, or Grammy's gonna eat all your spaghetti.
No! Go get your animals then, go.
And not that giant thing you won at the fair.
Go find your retainer, please.
Did he do it? It's complicated.
Did he do what they said he did? Yes.
Then he should stay in jail.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Wanna do something? - Uh - Look, I know you're supposed to wait two days or whatever to not seem like a psycho, but it's tomorrow in India and I ordered a pizza.
- To here? - And wings.
- Huh.
- Yeah, and then I felt gross, so I ordered a salad and some green juice.
Wow.
And then I didn't want to come off like one of those health nuts, so I ordered Chinese.
Mm.
Well, I I have to go do something with my sister.
Her husband left, so it's kind of like a whole thing.
Oh.
I'd love to meet her.
You know, you you just met my ex.
- I feel like that's enough.
- Mm.
That's a lot.
Okay, I tell you what.
Why don't you stay here, okay? - Okay.
- Eat till you barf.
- I'll be back.
- Right.
[QUIRKY PIANO MUSIC.]
[SAINT PRIVAT'S "POISSON ROUGE" PLAYING.]
[MICROWAVE DOOR SHUTS.]
I'm starving.
Why do you even eat those things? They take three minutes to heat in the microwave.
That's a plus? They're ten for ten bucks at Kroger.
Yeah, 'cause you gotta eat like four of them to make one regular meal.
You know what else is a lean cuisine? - Hmm? - Ordering a Big Mac - and taking one bite.
- Mm.
Or having, like, three fries, and it tastes way better.
- Okay.
- Or one bite of pizza.
All the toppings you want.
- Boom! - Mm-hmm.
- We should market this.
- Why are we in crime? You guys, 10:00.
That's how you use the clock thing, FYI.
[CLICKS TONGUE.]
So cute.
I know.
I found cute colors.
I was gonna tie-dye mine, but [DEVIOUS MUSIC.]
Don't move! We're closed, y'all.
This'll be quick.
- Come on! - Go, move! Okay, okay.
I'm moving, I'm moving.
All right.
- Hurry up! - I'm moving, I'm moving.
- Open the safe! - I'm opening it.
[SAFE BEEPING.]
Come on! It's not gonna open.
- What do you mean? - It's on a timer.
It won't open again till morning.
What? I mean, I'm happy to do this all night, but someone gonna see your asses in the window and call the cops, so What do we do? Why don't y'all just come back in the morning? I'll bring the croissants.
At some point, I'm gonna need a burrito.
And a big old cup to urinate in.
- Oh, my God.
- It's the only way to get the money.
What else were we supposed to do? How about anything? Oh, I'm sorry, should we have left him there? He would have had the cops waiting with donuts when we were back.
Croissants, but I can't believe y'all kidnapped a guy.
Again.
He's like a baby bird, you know? You you can't touch it and then just put it back.
That is not a baby bird.
That is a grown-ass man duct-taped to a booster seat.
We have to feed him and care for his bodily needs.
So, a baby bird.
Oh! Emma's birthday! Hey! Hey! Hey, yo! Yo, anyone out there? Yeah, we're back here.
Hey, you got my food? We're working on it.
Hey, and, uh, can somebody fire up my next playlist? What do you, uh, want to hear? Phillatio.
That's "P-H.
" Straight up Phil Collins.
Can I help you? [SIGHS.]
Hey.
Yeah, uh I was just looking for a towel.
Hall closet.
Okay, see, your mom just said "closet.
" Whoa, these are dope.
They used to be my grandpa's.
Oh, yeah? You know how to do a Windsor? Is that the big one? It's the power knot.
I don't know any of them.
Oh.
Well, I'll show you.
But first you have to help me take down all those wings out there.
Yeah, my mom said you went crazy.
Mm, I like having options, so - [COUGHS.]
- You can smell it from the hall.
Yeah, it's a real clash of cultures, isn't it? [MELLOW MUSIC.]
You figure out how to take a dump with ten guys watching you yet? No matter how long you're in there you never learn how to wipe with dignity.
[SIGHS.]
- What's your angle, here, man? - That's a fair question.
Um, you go on record saying you saw Leslie Peterson's murder.
How Beth Boland chopped him up, put him in a freezer, and threw away his body.
I didn't say any of that.
Well, I didn't see you take that pen cap, but I know you did.
How's that? - I got a guy who saw you.
- Who? I haven't found him yet.
But there's always someone out there that needs to save his own ass, right? Well, you know I'm not that kind of cop.
I can also find a guy to say he saw you take that missing cash from the Linwood bust.
I guess you'd know the type.
Listen, man, you do what you gotta do to get to the letter of the law.
Think about it, okay? You know what I was thinking about? How you say at my table and you pretended like we were the same.
Not so much, huh? Not at all.
Brother.
Not at all.
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
[PLAYFUL HOLLERING.]
[SIGHS.]
[CHILDREN LAUGHING.]
[IMITATING CHOMPING NOISES.]
I'm gonna eat you! [GOOFY GROWLING.]
Oh, oh, oh! Mommy! Hey! Happy birthday! Hey, sweetie.
[SMOOCHES.]
I missed you.
Thank you so much for doing this.
- Happy to.
- I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to be late.
Yeah, what, uh what happened? That nest in the front yard, a baby bird just fell right out.
Hmm.
Hit me up with another one, will ya? [SIGHS.]
- I need some salsa.
- I just dipped you.
But I'm gonna need it on every bite, girl.
Look, the chip is just a vehicle to get the salsa to my mouth.
Okay, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
En fuego.
[SCOFFS.]
Okay, you know what? We're out of chips.
Can I have my burrito then? You do know that there's still a gun pointed to your head, right? Second one this month.
- Seriously? - And you know what? I'm no gun rights person, but honestly, if you don't shoot me and I get a burrito out of it, it's a hell of a lot better than getting yelled at by a bunch of trash people who think that their money problems are somehow my fault when they just need to get off they dumb asses and get they lives right.
So, what's up? Where my burrito at? - I forgot it.
- No you didn't.
Yes, I did.
[SNIFFS.]
I smell the chorizo.
[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY.]
How 'bout you dig up that guac you also forgot? [CHILDREN CHATTERING.]
[GASPS.]
Oh, I-I I put a knife in the freezer for that.
Then it doesn't stick to the frosting.
Oh, I just ran it under hot water.
- Does that work as well? - Better.
Hmm.
I'll have to try it next time.
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
Now, if John were here, he'd be six scotches in by now.
Dean said he loved a party.
Oh, he was the life of the party.
He was Santa at Christmas, had a pie-eating contest every Thanksgiving.
On July 4th he'd take Dean down to Indiana and fill the car with illegal fireworks.
Dean does that with Kenny.
- Does he? - He's a good dad.
So was John.
[SNIFFS.]
Not much of a husband, though.
He dipped his pen in the company inkwell many times.
How many? I stopped counting.
Dean's never said a word.
Well, the kids want to remember Santa, and pies, and skyrockets.
And the crazy thing is, in the end it's all that matters.
Would you grab the ice cream? And run the scoop under hot water.
Judith? Did Dean tell you what's going on? He told me why he left.
What'd he say? That he's too much like his father.
- [GROANING.]
- You got this, you got this! You got this! Go! [GRUNTING.]
[MUFFLED SPEECH.]
Now I'm gonna barf.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[GRUNTS, LAUGHS.]
[SCOFFS.]
- Fail! - Oh, well.
Someone's at the door - Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
I've been waiting downstairs for like 20 minutes.
Oh oh, my gosh.
Uh, I forgot.
Did you pack a bag? We were watching a movie.
Do that at the hotel.
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY.]
- Sorry.
- Do they have "Top Gun" at the hotel, though? 'Cause he's never seen it, so Do you, like, live here now? No, Annie and I had plans and then she had to go, so All right, 'cause you're here, like a lot.
I would have brought Sadie down.
I didn't know.
No, no, no.
It's fine, it's fine.
Um Annie probably just forgot that you were coming.
Yeah, well, she is kind of a mess.
I don't know about that.
Mm, I know her pretty well.
[EPIC MUSIC PLAYS ON TV.]
Look, uh, I wouldn't get too comfortable here.
- What does that mean? - Well, I just don't think she really knows what she wants.
Well, I think she knows what she doesn't want.
Ready.
- See you, Goose.
- Later, Mav.
It's a classic.
I know.
[MELLOW MUSIC.]
What time is it? Almost go time.
Hey, wake up.
[GROANS.]
God, I got the worst taste in my mouth.
Ugh.
Let's just do this.
I'm coming in.
You have to drive.
There's something I need to do.
[SPITS.]
Just wake him up.
Come on, sunshine.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
It's time to make those donuts.
[DEVIOUS MUSIC.]
Okay, great.
Now get down on the floor.
- Okay.
- But easy, easy.
- Head down.
Now count.
- How high? - I don't know, a million.
- That that's impossible.
List all the Phil Collins songs.
Uh Su-Su-Sussudio - I got it, let's go.
- [STAMMERING.]
"Against All Odds" - Come on.
We gotta go.
- "In the Air Tonight.
" Hold up, I'm looking for something.
Uh, that was a good one.
"In the Air Tonight.
" Do y'all remember "In the Air Tonight"? Where are the contracts everyone signs? - Contracts for what? - What are you doing? The ones with the nasty fine print.
- Red cabinet.
- Head down! - Okay, uh, "A Groovy Kind of Love" - Dude! - What are you doing? - I need another bag.
I only brought this one.
Okay, take as many as you can.
- Okay, why? - 'Cause no one should feel like trash.
We gotta go, now! - Now! Down.
- Ooh! "I Wish It Would Rain Down.
" That was a good one.
Hey, bunny.
I knew you'd be back.
[INTROSPECTIVE MUSIC.]
We can run away But we can't hide for long I don't know why I can't change I will always stay this way And thinking of you Thinking of you Thinking of you [MUSIC FADES.]
So how'd you do it? I robbed a Qwik Cash with the girls.
Which one? Six mile.
Good.
That guy's a dick.
So you're just cool with it now? You did what you had to.
[SIGHS.]
You're a cop, Stanley.
I don't even know what that means.
Just don't get caught.
Got the keys? - My mom, uh, got her makeup.
- Are you kidding me? Full on Texas pageant glitter action.
All you want to do is keep them off the pole.
Mama Boland's got different plans.
Why didn't you tell her the truth? I did.
I cheated on you.
Well, that's not the reason I got into book club.
Isn't it? Getting cheated on makes you do crazy things.
Like hire teenage hitmen.
How'd you know? I'm not a total idiot.
- It's over.
- Which part? All of it.
Bring the children home, okay? [KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Ugh.
Why are you always here? Why are you always sleeping? I had a night.
I bet.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
What did Sadie forget? Uh What's with this dude? What do you mean? I mean, you've known him for like a second and all of a sudden he's Sadie's wingman? So? So it's not normal.
- What, that that he likes me? - No, not That somebody would actually want to stick around after boning me, or ? No, just the fact that he's so far up your ass after, I don't know, a week? Okay, I'm sorry, don't you have a new family to deal with? - It's shady.
- Yeah.
Why don't you go ahead and give Idaho a little skin-to-skin? His name is Dakota.
[LONG EXHALE.]
I'm a D-bag, okay? So I know when I see one.
Just Be careful.
[MOODY MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY.]
[GRUNTS.]
I'll have another.
And he'll have a Chardonnay.
No, I won't.
Whatever you want.
Your tab's still open.
You're starting early, huh? [CLEARS THROAT.]
The one perk to losing your kids What's that? Day drinking.
Thanks, man.
Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Dean's bringing them home tonight.
That's good.
And I have your cut.
Even better.
I don't have it here.
Sorry.
Didn't get a chance to Can I get you something to eat? Yeah, what you got? I could make you a sandwich.
Yeah, I'm not really much of a sandwich guy.
- I'm out of bread anyway.
- [CHUCKLES.]
What am I doing here, Elizabeth? It's just habit.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[MOANS SOFTLY.]
My kids will be home soon.
Here's your cut.
I thought you left it at home? - Guess not.
- [CHUCKLES.]
All right, swing by tomorrow.
- I'll hook you up with the funny money.
- I don't need it.
- Yeah, but how you - I'm not.
I'm done.
Is that right? No more cash, no more pills.
I'm gonna take a shower.
You should go.
It's over.
Next? [KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
Welcome to Qwik Cash.
How may I assist you today? Why didn't you tell the cops? We offer many different types of loans.
I know when I'm being hustled.
Did your mother teach you those manners? How 'bout a "thank you"? If you want a cut of the money, it's already gone.
Yeah, I didn't think it went into your 401K.
- Okay, you know what? You might think I'm trash, but I work really hard for what I have.
And I've got a 12-hour shift ahead of me my second double of the week and it's barely gonna cover my groceries let alone the roof over my head which I only have, by the way, because my mother who wrote the book on manners, I'll have you know died.
God rest her soul.
I want your address.
Don't you have it in your system? No, I need it for your school district.
You can get your GED online.
I majored in finance at MSU, bitch.
Then who's it for? My nephew.
He's smart.
Or I I could go to the cops.
Fine.
Little nerd just needs a leg up.
We all do.
[WOMEN VOCALIZING.]
[BITTERSWEET MUSIC.]
Save it for the sake of the fight Copy/paste the child inside You used to smile, but now you are staged I hate to watch you walk away I hate to watch you walk away Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? Is this how we're gonna grow old? I hate to watch you walk away Thank you, baby.
I hate to watch you walk away I hate to watch you walk away CHILDREN: Mommy! Oh, my goodness, hi! [OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
[MOUTHS "THANK YOU".]
[PEPPY POP MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS.]
[BILLIARD BALLS THUDDING.]
Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Noah, right? It's Noah? - BOTH: Yeah.
- Oops.
Um, so I had an epiphany.
Why are we, as a company, not making, uh, bite-sized treats? I think we should slow things down.
With us.
- Oh.
- Yeah, I just you, I mean, I have I have a kid, so I I gotta be careful.
- You know? - Yeah, right.
I don't even really know anything about you, you know? What do you want to know? Just that you're not a total D-bag.
[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY.]
Here's the thing uh, I kinda am.
Seriously? - Yeah, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, my God.
What why do I always do this? I'm not just a grocery store manager.
I'm I'm on probation.
For what? Well, I stole from my last job, and then I had to lie to get this one.
- What did you steal? - Money.
Lots of it over a long period of time and then, uh I mean, it was, uh they didn't notice at first and then it got easier.
Listen, I'm not this is not something I'm proud of.
Noah.
- What? - Sweet, sweet Noah.
[INHALES.]
What? Okay, we're gonna need some shots for this conversation, because we are so much more alike than you could ever know.