Hung s02e09 Episode Script

RAY: Fat Man and Little Boy.
Who are they? What are they? Come on.
We've got the MMEs coming up in a couple of weeks.
We gotta buckle down.
Your lives depend on it.
My life depends on it, all right? Fat Man, Little Boy.
Mr.
Drecker, may I have a word with you? Sure.
Quiz when I get back.
[WHISPERING.]
You You can't be here.
- Ray, I want my cut.
- Come on.
Your cut? What? - You fucked Frances.
- Shh! - Hey.
- You fucked Frances, and she liked it.
And I want my 40 percent.
I did not do anything with Frances, Lenore.
- Oh, please.
- Come on, I'Il Call me tonight, okay? You can't be here.
We can't talk about this here.
I am very, very upset with you, Ray.
So I took a little personal timeout in Tucson to try and wrap my head around things.
Now I'm asking you calmly, and I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me you did not conspire to steal Frances.
Okay.
[IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Tanya set up one date, but I never saw her.
And we gave the money back, so there is no cut.
Ray, if you back an animal into a corner, it has no choice but to fight.
- And I will fight.
- Fight what? - Tanya and I did - Tanya is toast.
She is a dead poet walking.
You can't save her.
But you? I will give you a road map out of the shit that you are in with me.
You get me my cut by tomorrow, and I will forget everything.
You don't get me my cut, and I will You will what, Lenore? I will do things I will later regret.
I ju TANYA: Hey, Charlie, where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere.
[TANYA GASPING.]
Oh, my God, I I need help.
Mike and Frances know, Charlie.
They know, Charlie.
They know I took the money.
- I need you to come with me.
- Come with you where? To talk to Mike before he has a chance to talk to Ray.
Unless he's already told Ray.
Oh, fuck, do you think he's already told Ray? I need physical backup so that he knows he can't mess with me.
- All right, all right.
Calm down.
- No, I can't calm down, Charlie.
My business is headed off a cliff.
Mike won't listen to me, but he'll listen to you.
- If you come with me, we can talk to him.
WOMAN 1: Hey.
You got another quarter? You know what? Now's not a good time for me, Tanya.
No, I know, but it's an emergency.
WOMAN 2 [OVER PA.]
: Detailing manager, pick up line two.
- Are those your kids? - So she says.
Charlie, please help me.
I can't face Mike alone.
Do you understand? And I certainly I can't face Ray.
Tanya, you've got a certain spirit about you.
You're bold and you're brave, and I like that.
But you're fucking crazy.
And I can't solve your problems.
And we both know that this shit ain't about business with this ho.
- What do you mean? - You got one white man ho who don't do dudes, and he bring you more headache than cash.
Now that shit cannot be about business.
So, what is it? Figure that out and stop wasting my fucking time, please.
MAN: Hey, sir! - Yeah.
My car is ready.
Hey.
Thank you, man.
MAN: Appreciate it.
I think it's time we talk about it, Jess.
Why are you with me? Why did you choose me? - Ron, don't do this.
- Forget it.
You are a great guy.
You're kind and generous.
What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? I want you to fucking love me.
- Ronnie.
- You cheered for him at his baseball game.
JESSICA: To support the team.
Even your body is rejecting our marriage.
- I can't control what my body does.
- Jess, let's stop lying to ourselves.
If you're still in love with your ex-husband, then you shouldn't be married to me.
If you're still attracted to him and you can't help yourself - I'm not.
you should be with him.
I am not attracted to him.
I'm It's just It's nostalgia.
Sometimes I miss who I used to be.
But is it worth changing your life for? I don't want to change my life, Ronnie.
Look at me.
Can't you see? Can't you see how different I am, Ron? Can't you see how happy? If I'm not happy with you, I don't know what happiness is.
Please don't leave me, Ron.
I'll die.
Okay.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIGHS.]
LENORE: I am so glad we can hang out, Patty.
I've called you so many times, but you're always busy.
I didn't know you were trying to get ahold of me.
I didn't get messages.
I called you a bunch.
I must have an old number.
I think you're wonderful.
When you worked at Wagner & Finch I always used to think that we should be friends.
Like best friends.
Me too.
How's that Tanya Skagle, by the way? She is always saying the craziest things about you.
Yeah? Like what kind of things? Like how you love male hookers.
Whoa.
All right, that is completely a lie.
Motherfuck.
You know what she told me about you? She said you were a pimp.
Patty.
Okay, have you ever read The Sociopath Next Door? It's a book.
I've recently read it.
Tanya has a lot of the indicators.
Seven out of ten.
They say sociopaths have poor impulse control and engage in a lot of promiscuous sexual behavior.
- That's an indicator? - Yeah.
Like, how promiscuous? I think she's a very dangerous person.
Thank God I don't have to work with her.
If I were you, Patty, I would watch my back.
Well, what should I do? I can't fire her.
She's a really good proofreader.
She's been there a long time.
She's got seniority.
I'd need cause.
Come on, Tanya, call me back.
This is the fourth time I've called.
I need to talk to you.
Okay? It's an emergency.
RAY: When they're done with you, they don't give you a gold watch or a plaque to hang on your wall.
Hell, they don't even give you a call.
They give you a piece of paper telling you the next three weeks will be your last.
No severance, no bonus, not even a thank you.
And you knew it was coming, and you knew it was gonna hurt.
And still, when you're looking right at it it's a fucking punch in the gut.
MAN: F the district.
F Lansing.
F Washington.
What about my future? What about my mortgage? Hey, Mike.
Where you been? Mike.
Hey.
- Hey.
- What do you want from me, Ray? Hey, Mike, it's just layoffs for the summer.
They'll pick us up again in the fall.
Let's stay positive.
You know, we still got a few weeks left.
- Come on, Mike, will you stop? - Not with you, Ray.
What are you talking about? In my classroom, yeah, I've got a few weeks left.
But not with you.
Mike.
What's the matter? Talk to me.
I don't know what you're You don't know what? Huh? What I'm what? Because you're not what I thought you were.
You pretended you were happy that Frances and I were happy.
- That's not true.
- Thousands of dollars to your poet friend.
That's where you've been getting the money for your house.
You've been getting fat off my love.
And now she doesn't fucking trust me.
Mike, I swear, I I didn't know.
And I wasn't pretending.
I was happy for you.
I still am.
Mike, I'm sorry.
I don't know what else to do.
Find a new co-manager, Ray.
Find a new third-base coach.
Find a new friend.
RAY: If I needed any more proof that Tanya had lied to me I finally had it.
- Here, hon.
DARBY: Thanks.
You sure you don't wanna come to Ronnie's thing tonight? He's winning an award for selling a lot of Botox.
I mean, he makes money off women feeling bad about themselves.
- You don't have to do this.
- No, I'm hungry.
That meal is like 3000 calories.
Tastes good.
Do you like that I'm fat? - I don't see you as fat.
- That's not what I asked.
If you're happy with the way you look, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that.
But do you like that I'm fat? All I care about, Darb, is that you're healthy.
You're not answering the question.
Do you like that I'm fat? I like that you're fat.
What? What are you doing here? - This is kind of inappropriate.
- Hey, Patty.
Where's Tanya? Let's talk in my office.
Where are you going? Hey.
Come here.
We need to talk.
Not here.
Anywhere but here.
RAY: I talked to Mike.
He told me everything.
TANYA: Yeah.
- Well, I don't know what he was saying.
- The money, Tanya.
- God.
- Well, I gave it back.
- Tanya.
- What? I gave it all back.
I'm not lying.
I need the money, okay? Lenore found out about it.
She wants her cut, and I fucking need the money back.
The woman knows a lot about my life, Tanya.
So tell me the truth, all right? Did you give the money back or not? I did not, okay? I did not.
Okay.
That's a start.
Where is it? Do you? Do you have it? Fuck you, Ray.
- Tanya.
- No, I don't have it.
I spent it and I loved it.
And if I had to do it again, I would.
- Tanya.
- It's gone, okay? The money's gone, Ray.
It's fucking gone.
And I don't wanna see you anymore.
You know where we are? I know where we are.
So you know what this is? The old Tiger Stadium.
- You know why they tore it down? - I don't need a lesson from you, Ray.
Money, Tanya.
They tore it down for corporate fucking boxes.
Two hundred dollars for a baseball game, and you don't even get to sit outside.
You sit in a glass box and you breathe in recycled air and you watch the game on your glass-box TV.
That's what they did for money in this town.
For a glass box they tore out this city's heart.
So? So I thought you were different.
I thought you were a good person.
And I thought you were pretty fucking cool.
And you know what? You turned out to be none of those things.
Yeah, so I'm not a good person.
Because you know what happens to good people, Ray? They get shit on.
Good people have their best friends stolen by mean, conniving red-headed bitches.
Good people get ignored and stepped on.
Good people get fucked, Ray! So just this once I'm doing the fucking.
What's so great about being a good person? I don't need your approval.
Did you have my approval when you fucked Lenore? You don't think that was a breach of trust? You don't think that was a betrayal? I'm a pimp, Ray! I'm a pimp and you're a whore.
What did you think we were doing here? And we're not good people.
We're criminals.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
EMCEE: For his work in the field of photodynamic therapy please welcome to the stage Dr.
Marshall Emmons.
Come on up.
Congrats on being the best Botox seller in the greater Detroit area.
Eighth best.
Jeff here's number four.
- That's right.
- Cheers.
If you're ever looking for a new skin man, here's my card.
- Down, boy.
She's taken.
JEFF: Kidding.
Kidding.
You wanna touch beautiful women and not get slapped? - Dermatology.
- Dermatology.
True story.
A woman comes to my office with terrible acne.
She's pregnant, right? She says, "Doc, can I try some Accutane?" Accutane? [RONNIE LAUGHING.]
Seems kind of stupid.
I'm back there having a bad time.
You're up here having a bad time.
I don't want you to write any more poems about me.
It wasn't about you.
It was about fetuses.
Fetuses in general.
And gum.
Okay, okay.
Fine.
- Whatever.
- Hey, there, don't scratch.
Sorry, habit.
- Looks like you've got a flare-up there.
- No, no, no.
It's nothing.
Hey, Hax-attack.
How are you? Congrats on being number eight.
- Wow.
I'm number three.
- Number three? Great.
Congrat Honey.
Honey.
Honey, you've gotta meet Dr.
Lepke.
- Nice to meet you.
Wait.
- How are you? Nice to meet you.
You were in my office last week with the rash.
Yes.
- That ointment working out? - I don't know what you mean.
Now I know why I know you.
You're Hax-man's wife.
You should have told me.
Ronnie and I go way back.
- Oh.
- Excuse me a second.
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
- You went to see Lepke behind my back? - Honey, I didn't want you to be upset.
You didn't want me to be upset? EMCEE: Number eight, Ronnie Haxon.
You're killing me, Jess.
Softly and gently, you are killing me.
EMCEE: Ronnie, you out there? LEPKE: Come on, man.
JESSICA: Ronnie, come on.
LEPKE: Come on, let's give it up for number eight.
Thank you.
Okay, thanks, everybody.
Thanks to Cephi-Merck Industries for your support and the American Academy of Um And thank you to Dr.
Jeremiah Greenblat for all his research into And number three, Dr.
Lepke.
Great guy.
This guy's so good, my wife went to see him with a rash, and she didn't even tell me.
[RONNIE LAUGHS.]
Huh? Hey, Lepster, did you figure out what's causing it? I bet you all the tests came back negative, right? Food allergies, pet dander pollen, you name Negative, right? That's a real stumper.
But I thought of something, Dr.
Lepke that you didn't think of when you were testing.
Me.
Yeah.
I'm the allergen.
See, my wife is allergic to the thought of having a baby with me.
Or maybe she's breaking out because she still wants to have sex with her beaver-catching ex-husband.
How do I fix you, Jess? Jessica, what do you want from me? What do you want? Jess.
- Sorry.
RONNIE: What do you want? Jess, what do you? Thank Thank you.
[APPLAUSE.]
Lenore says she's a sociopath.
She gives me the creeps.
MARCY: Yeah, it's like you can't even get a soda without her trying to sell you some dick.
She stole Lenore's dog too.
- What? - What? - Are you talking about me? - Are we? Listen, Patty, it's been a pretty rough shift for me so why don't we just focus on the Sandberg litigation and call it a night? I was doing inventory on my snow globe collection, and Paris is missing.
I think you took it.
What would I want with your snow globe? Lenore said you'd deny it.
Lenore? What does Lenore have to do with this? She and I had lunch.
She told me about the sociopath thing.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Like how you don't care about others.
You don't have empathy for anyone.
And you love to create drama.
- Give me back my snow globe.
- I don't have it.
You know, it is cause for termination to solicit sexual favors in the workplace.
[WHISPERING.]
Sexual favors? You were the one who tried to blackmail me so you could fuck No, I didn't! I didn't fuck anyone! [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
Marcy.
Back me up, Marcy.
Nobody likes you here, Tanya.
You have a pattern of inappropriate behavior and I am going to report you upstairs.
Patty, I'm warning you, don't mess with me tonight.
Just not tonight.
Why? What are you gonna do, T-Brain? - Don't call me that.
- T-Brain.
Don't call me that.
Don't call me that.
You know, the only thing that you are good at is punctuation.
- I mean, what are you gonna do, T-Brain? - Don't call me T-Brain.
Come on, I-T-apostrophe-S.
I-T-S-apostrophe.
But who cares, T-Brain? - T-Brain, T-Brain, T-Brain.
- Don't call me T-Brain.
Don't call me T-Brain! I'm a motherfucking pimp! Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
No.
I don't know why You can keep the snow globe.
I wasn't going to report you.
I don't want the globe.
No, please, just You can hit me.
Hit me.
Hit me with the belt.
Well, I'm not that kind of person, Tanya.
[PHONE RINGING.]
- Jess? JESSICA: Hi, Ray.
It's late.
What are you? Is? Are? Everything okay? Yeah, it's okay.
- I don't know.
I felt like swimming.
- Swimming? I remember how we used to go swimming.
Where are you? Look outside.
You coming? [GASPS THEN GIGGLES.]
It's freezing.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
I feel like your parents are gonna bust us.
Thought you didn't like to get your hair wet in the lake.
Who cares? - Cold? - No.
- You look cold.
- No.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]