I Didn't Do It (2014) s02e09 Episode Script

Synced and corrected By Katniss Everdeen Hi, guys.
Brandon and I just got back from the cat convention.
Well, I guess that makes your outfits a little less disturbing.
The cat convention is always great, but this year, it was extra special.
Can you believe they give these out for free? Yes, I can.
Oh.
Check out this toy Brandon bought.
Cats love these things.
They keep their tiny minds occupied for hours.
This is so cool.
Erin, you've gotta see this.
That is fun.
We'll have to get you guys one.
My cat will never enjoy it as much as that.
Well, I better be going.
See you guys later.
Bye, Deels.
He calls me Deels now.
Big step.
Hey, Lindy, you're on the planning committee for the fall dance, right? Yeah, with Jasmine and Delia.
- I didn't sign up for that.
- I didn't either.
We'll discuss it later at the meeting.
- So what's your question, sweetie? - What's the theme? We haven't picked it yet.
We're having a committee meeting tonight, though.
Text me when you know.
I want to wear something appropriate.
Logan and I are going dress shopping tomorrow.
You're wearing a dress this year? Bold choice.
Logan, I thought you hated shopping.
You do? No, for guy stuff.
Like shirts, pants, socks boring.
But take me to a dress store, and I'm in heaven.
And I'm getting a smoothie.
It's really important that Logan and I match.
But we don't wanna be matchy-matchy.
Yeah, that's That's bad.
I'm confused.
What's matchy-matchy? That's when you match, but in the wrong way.
It would be like if I wore dark blue and he wore dark blue.
That's matchy-matchy.
Now clashy-clashy is something else.
Hey, look who's back.
Good save.
I hear there's a school dance this Friday.
I suppose you want the night off.
I'm not going to the dance, so I can work that night.
Why aren't you going? You don't like to have fun? Are you a fun hater? No, I'm just not a good dancer.
Dances stress me out.
I'd rather be stressed at work and get paid for it.
What causes you stress at work? Don't answer that.
It's sad that you don't dance.
Dancing is an expression of joy.
Don't you wanna dance at your wedding, or your child's wedding, or on your enemy's grave? Some of those sound nice.
But I'm pretty much a hopeless case.
You know what? I'm gonna teach you.
You wanna help me? Why? Don't spread this around, but since you've been working here, you've kinda grown on me.
We're sorta like family.
Really? Thanks.
And you know what? I'll take you up on those dance lessons.
Great.
So, you startin' to think of me as family, too? Well, I'm not really that close with my family, so, yeah.
Hey, Lindy.
It's Adam.
Your old lab partner from Chemistry.
Hi, Adam.
Hey, your eyebrows grew back.
Well, one did.
This one's painted on.
Um, so, I was just wondering if you'd like to go to the dance with me.
Oh, that's so sweet, but I'm head of the planning committee and I'll be running around like crazy all night.
Thank you so much.
Why are you thanking me? I said no.
I'm thanking you for making up such a believable excuse.
No, it's not an excuse.
You are so kind.
I'm really on the committee.
And I really almost believe you.
But I You're welcome.
Okay, so, since it's the fall dance, I was thinking, for a theme, "falling for you.
" I like that; it's romantic.
Maybe for decorations, we could do twinkly lights - and a moon you know, fall things.
- I love it.
And my Uncle Patsy owns a discount party store.
I bet he could give us a good deal on all that stuff.
We are a great team.
Hands in.
Great team on three.
- Too much? - Too much.
Okay.
Now let's talk about what's really important.
- What are you girls wearing to the dance? - I'm not going.
- Jazz, tell her she's going.
- I'm not going either.
Ooh, back it up.
What's going on, ladies? Brandon has to go to his grandma's birthday party, and I don't wanna go to the dance without him.
And I don't have a date.
And to be honest, I don't really wanna see Logan and Erin at a romantic dance together.
But you have to go.
I can't tear it up at the dance without my girls.
And since when do we need dates to have fun? I'll tell you when never.
When she answers her own questions, it's kinda hard to argue with her.
Now if we're gonna go to that dance, we gotta look fierce, dance hard, and come home sweaty.
Who's with me? I'll tell you who, you girls.
Okay, I'll go.
You had me at sweaty.
- Uncle Patsy! - Ditalini! Ditalini is his nickname for me.
It means little pasta tubes.
Too bad you don't have an Aunt Mary Nara.
Because, you know, if you're the pasta, and she's the sauce.
Yeah, we don't kid about the names.
So Delia says you can help with the decorations.
Have you done any school dances before? School dances.
She wants to know if I've done school dances before.
I have not.
But let me show you some events I have done.
Here's a quinceañera I did.
Oh, here's a funeral I did.
Turned out beautiful.
They were very happy.
And sad.
So our theme is "falling for you.
" Here is a list of things we need.
Shouldn't be a problem.
Our budge is $150.
Now it's a problem.
Oh, come on, Uncle Pats.
It's Ditalini.
Oh, she's good, this one.
Okay, girls, I'll take care of everything.
Thank you so much.
I don't know if you're looking for any entertainment, but I can get you a tap-dancing monkey real cheap.
Oh, too bad.
We had a tap-dancing monkey at last year's dance.
So when do we start this dance lesson? We're just waiting for my partner.
I hope we're still waiting.
This is my nephew Kevin LeBow.
He's gonna teach me how to dance? If you're lucky.
What I mean is, aren't you a little young? I'm not here to prove myself to you.
You're here to prove yourself to me.
He's scaring me a little.
He does that to everyone.
I'd say you'll get used to it, but you won't.
You sure have an interesting family.
This is nothing.
You should come over for Thanksgiving.
It's a freak show.
Now let's see what we have to work with.
Stand next to me and do exactly as I do.
Hit it.
First, move your arms.
Snap.
Now back.
Keep it goin'.
And now we'll bring the hips into it.
Boom-boom.
Boom-boom.
Boom-boom.
That is fun.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
And then we'll add the legs.
Step back, step touch, step back.
And it all comes together.
Or it all falls apart.
- When is this dance? - Friday.
I better cancel my sleepover.
We're gonna have to pull an all-nighter.
I'm not that bad.
You're not that good.
Is he just gonna keep insulting me? I really don't see how that's helping.
This is our process.
He breaks you down, then I build you back up.
Oh.
Why didn't you tell me that before? That's not how it works.
If you know you're being broken down, it doesn't hurt as much.
And I don't laugh as much.
This is very strange.
- What is? - That you're the nice one in the family.
From the top.
Boom-boom.
Why isn't Delia helping us with the banner? She and Brandon went back to the cat convention.
Apparently, the closing ceremonies are spectacular.
What's wrong? Erin and I have been shopping for three days straight.
First, she bought a dress after trying on, like, a hundred of them.
Then I had to get a new suit so we'd match.
Then after she saw the suit, disaster struck.
- Matchy-matchy? - Yes.
Matchy-matchy.
I liked your old suit, the blue one.
- Brings out your eyes.
- I know.
This new suit doesn't bring out my eyes.
If anything, it pushes them back in.
If I had a boyfriend, I'd just want him to be happy with whatever he was wearing.
I wish Erin felt like that.
If I had a boyfriend, he'd help me finish painting this banner.
Maybe that's why you don't.
Guess who just volunteered for the spring dance? Yay.
You don't have to thank me.
Your faces say it all.
I'm not really sure what our faces are saying, but my words are gonna say, "What happened to all the stuff we asked for?" Yeah, too pricey.
But lucky for you, I got a warehouse full of holiday decorations.
But Uncle Patsy, you said we could have everything we wanted.
I said some things, and then you said some things, and a conversation was had, and did you see the giant bunny? What are we gonna do? This place looks ridiculous.
Relax.
I got this.
Grazie, Patsy.
Yeah, we're stuck with this junk.
What's the problem? You asked for one season, I gave you all of them.
And I got every holiday represented here.
Even Groundhog Day.
See? Uh-oh.
Phil? Phil? Here, Phil.
Now what? - Everybody gather round.
- What do ya got? That was it.
All I have is "gather round.
" I think, before you say "gather round," you have to have an idea.
That's not true.
You can gather round, then get the idea.
- It doesn't work that way.
- It can work that way.
Guys, relax.
Did you see the giant bunny? Whoo! All dressed up and someplace to go.
Yeah.
Weird, huh? Now, do you remember all your moves? I think so.
I hope so.
You're gonna be great tonight.
Make us proud.
And if you crash and burn, you never met us.
I don't know how to thank you guys.
You've been so nice.
Well, you have.
Let's get a picture before you go.
You know, I never had a son, but if I did, he would not be wearing that cologne.
I think we made it work.
At least it explains the theme now.
"F'all.
" Is that a real contraction? Of course it's a real contraction.
It's in the pledge of allegiance.
"Liberty and justice f'all.
" I don't think that's how it's written.
What are you, president of the grammar club? I wish.
So do you think we match? Yeah, totally.
Thanks for saying so.
We put a lot of effort into looking like this.
Three days.
The best three days of my life.
You're so sweet.
Will you excuse me? I need to move away from the leprechaun.
Clashes.
What was that about? Erin's been obsessed with us matching.
- Who cares if you match? - I don't get it either.
Jasmine thought my blue suit would've looked fine.
She should know since she's so smart about fashion.
Wow, Jazz, you look amazing.
Thanks.
So that's the new suit, huh? Yeah.
I should've taken your advice.
You still look nice.
Thanks.
And you look amazing.
You already said that.
He's just being sweet.
I'll see you guys later.
I'm sorry.
What was I talking about before Jasmine walked up? Jasmine.
Something goin' on? Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
No.
Well, I'm glad someone here is more uncomfortable than me.
Well, at least we're tearin' it up.
Maybe we're tearin' it up too much, and everyone's intimidated.
We have to get couples out here.
- You, what's your name? - Owen.
- Here with a date? - No, just my friends.
Great.
Jasmine, Owen.
Owen, Jasmine.
Dance.
You want me to dance with her? No problem.
- Guess who.
- Brandon! - How'd you know? - I could smell the catnip on your hands.
What are you doing here? My grandma's birthday dinner ended early.
The limbo contest turned out to be a bad idea.
Now that you're here, get to dancing, kids.
You heard the lady.
Adam, hey.
Do you wanna dance? Really? You want to me to Adam, are you okay? At least I can say someone fell for me at the dance.
Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to dance with someone else.
- Hey, Garrett, you okay? - Yeah, doin' great.
Why are you here? I thought you didn't like dances.
I actually got some lessons.
I know how to dance now, I just need to figure out the whole asking thing.
I think you just did.
Garrett, that was amazing.
Thanks.
I think I just pulled every muscle in my body.
Maybe we should dance over there, under the light.
I don't think everyone's seen us yet.
Sure.
Hey, who's that guy dancing with Jasmine? I don't know.
But they don't match.
Yeah, um Doesn't look right to me either.
Well, it's done.
I broke up with Erin.
What? What happened? Things just got weird.
It was so important to her that we match, and ironically, I don't think we do.
Am I using "ironically" good? You're using "ironically" well.
Good.
Good.
Anyway, I just told her it wasn't working, and that she's a really great person, and she deserves to find someone really special.
It's the hardest text I ever wrote.
You did it by text? Classy.
Yeah, when Erin gets mad, she's a thrower.
Just tryin' to stay safe.
Good choice.
Actually, uh there's another reason I broke up with her.
I've been thinking about Jasmine.
A lot.
Hello.
When I saw that guy slow dancing with Jazz at the dance, I realized I wanted to be the one dancing with her.
I'm gonna ask her out.
Wow.
I can't believe this is finally gonna happen.
And your timing is perfect.
Hey, guys, what's goin' on? Oh, not much with me.
How about you, Logan? Well, um I've got some news.
I have some news, too.
Actually, it's more a surprise.
Come on in.
Lindy, Logan, I'd like you to officially meet Owen, my new boyfriend.
Jazz, I am so happy for you.
Yeah, uh, me, too.
We had the greatest time at the dance, and after, we talked for hours.
Turns out we have a ton in common.
Sounds like a great match.
Anyway, I just wanted to share the big news.
We should get going.
We're gonna go see a movie.
Can you believe we both like movies? See ya.
Oh, wait, you had news, too.
Yeah, uh it can wait.
Logan, I am so sorry.
I don't get it.
Yesterday, she was single.
Now she has a boyfriend.
How'd she even meet that guy? Uh No need to dwell on that part.
So do I need to give you mopping lessons too? What's wrong? Usually when I insult you, you mumble something with my name in it.
I'm just kinda sad.
I had so much fun at the dance, and now I'm back here, cleaning up a mess.
It's like I'm Cinderella without the "happily ever after.
" What does that make me, the evil step-mother? Well You shouldn't be down.
Everybody said you were amazing last night.
I kinda was.
And there will be other dances.
I'd say your future looks very bright.
Thanks, Betty.
Well, your distant future.
Your immediate future involves that mop and a mystery puddle in the men's room.
Hey.
See that girl over there? She was at the dance last night.
She wants to talk to you.
Hey, Cinderella.
- Lose the apron.
- Oh.
Thanks.
Hi.
I'm Garrett.
They grow up so fast.
Dad!