InSecurity (2011) s02e09 Episode Script

Customs just stopped a guy from Rio, with fake ID.
He wants a deal, says he'll tell us anything we want about Brazil's defence codes.
- He's a credible source? - Brazilian ex-military.
It checks out, but RCMP wants him, Customs too.
We should get down there.
- Where are you two going? - To get a Brazilian.
Pardon me? Yeah, it's a bit of a fiasco down there.
- Hey, guys, what's up? - We gotta get a Brazilian.
Mm, that's funny.
I just went yesterday.
- Did that sound like - Yeah.
It's just sinking in now.
InSecurity SO2EO9 The Spy, the Friend and Her Lover So, according to N'udu's informant, we've got yellow cake stolen from a uranium processing plant in Pembrooke.
I want this cake back in the oven ASAP.
I don't like messin' around with U308, my least favourite U.
Contact your informant.
See if there's anything else he might know.
Done.
Where's a good place to take my roommate from university? I thought you lived with a drug dealer in university.
This is my other roommate, Tara.
I told you that in confidence.
- Is she the cute redhead you went camping with? - Nope.
The hot blonde from Lilith Fair 1999? Tara just moved here from Vancouver.
And she's not on my Facebook page.
Okay, that's why.
The carriage ride along Sussex is a delight.
We're not dating.
I know the password to a bare-knuckled boxing place.
We're not guys.
I'm out of ideas.
By the way, if you opt for the carriage ride, ask for Jordi.
If you buy him a twenty-sixer, he'll let you take the reins.
I think we all need to get out more.
Ah, you haven't seen Jordi pee from a moving carriage.
How is a person supposed to concentrate with all that going on? I'm sorry, I'll breathe through my mouth.
- No, not you.
Them.
- Oh.
- Just get married, already.
- Right.
- These PDAs are killing me.
- I know, it's all like, "Look at us.
We're in loooove," and whatnot.
You know, I don't get weddings.
Crying, laughing.
Too much emotion and bad finger food.
And spy weddings are even worse.
The redacted invitations kinda kill the charm.
Plus when they use code names, finding your table is a nightmare.
So glad I got out of it.
- You're not going? - You are? Yeah, I thought it'd be a laugh, especially with you there.
- We could joke around.
- Barf.
- I know, that sounded sappy.
- No.
Them.
Gross.
Let me write that down.
The National Museum of? Desks.
It's better than the name implies.
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
I see you've met N'udu.
I was just filling your friend in on some of Ottawa's hotspots.
Oh.
Just don't do the amphibious bus tour.
My seat was wet and it did not smell like canal water.
- Well, thanks again for the tip.
- No problem.
Also, if you do the tour of Parliament Hill, try to blend in with a school group.
You get a box lunch.
You ready? Here comes my second apology.
I have to cancel on dinner.
Okay.
Can we at least talk in your office for a bit? - I would love that.
- Great.
But it takes 24 hours to get clearance.
You could sneak me in.
Like old times? That was at the movie theatre.
This is NISA.
It's always amazed me how there were no jobs in between the two.
I should only be a few more hours.
Grab some wine, order some Chinese, and we'll prank call old boyfriends like the old days.
- Except there's caller ID now.
- Not when you work for NISA! I probably shouldn't yell that.
So, big day comin' up for Brad and Amanda.
Yeah.
I'm not going.
Faked a surgery to get out of it.
Too bad.
It's going to be fun, JoJo.
You know, it was at a wedding that I fell in love with Helene.
Oh, it was awkward because it was her wedding.
She was marrying someone else? We'd been friends for many years, but it was only at that moment that it struck me, "I love this woman.
She's crazy.
She makes me laugh.
" So what happened? Like a gentleman, I waited for the priest to ask if anybody objected to these two getting married.
Then I threw a bottle at the groom.
How romantic? Missed.
But the people got the idea.
Then I ran to Helene and we kissed.
Then the groom punched me in the face.
Then I punched the best man in the face 'cause the groom was a really big guy.
Then the brawl started.
Then I grabbed Helene and a wedding gift and we got the hell outta there.
Well, who's to say what's right or very, very wrong? Hey, it was a top-of-the-line blender.
And hopefully a top-of-the-line woman.
Definitely.
You know, it's funny how love can sneak up on ya.
You spend years getting to know someone, and bam! Hits you harder than an angry groom.
Hi.
Oh, what are you still doing here? Oh, I'm just leaving.
Sorry I bailed on the movies.
How were they? I didn't bother.
I went out.
By yourself? Look, you and I, tonight, are definitely hitting the town.
- I'm putting the city of Ottawa on notice.
- Yes, let's do that.
You should get to work so you don't have to stay late.
- Ow! - What was that? Oh.
You brought a guy home? Uh, is that cool? Way cool, roomie.
Come on, lemme see the goods.
- Oh, no, no.
- Come on, I want to meet him.
Unless two girls are more than you can handle.
Do you mind if I shower? This is great.
Two people that I'm close to, together, in my condo.
This is probably weird for you.
No.
Why would this be weird? I can't seem to find my shoes.
I will bring them to you at the office.
Oh.
We're not going in together? No! I have a bunch of stops to make.
Look, you have a nice apartment.
It's a shame it's so messy.
It's a shame you're not wearing pants.
I'm just saying I nearly broke my ankle on a pizza box when we were fooling around in the kitchen.
Again, I hope this isn't awkward.
No.
Just don't tell me which pizza box.
Hey, Amanda.
I just wanted to RSVP to your wedding.
You did RSVP.
You're a no.
But I can come now.
But you're having an operation.
It sounded serious.
It is, was.
I bumped it up.
I did it yesterday.
Oh, my God.
Are you all right? Do you need to sit down? Oh, no, it's fine.
The doctor says I just need a little R & R, maybe some quality time with friends, maybe a few drinks, some speeches.
Well, then you should definitely come.
- Oh, I'm so happy.
- Me too.
Oh.
Uh, well, the meals are all ordered and paid for.
But I guess you're still on a liquid diet? I'll have the beef.
Oh, my God! You have no place to sit.
I'm happy to stand.
No.
You're disabled.
I am finding you a seat.
Someone will just have to sit with the DJ.
Or m my aunt won't come.
I don't want to stress you out.
I can do this.
I can just, uh, take one person from five tables and then make a new table, which is $400 plus centrepiece and Okay, well, I'll leave you to it.
You are gonna be so beautiful.
Thank you.
The plan is to meet with the yellow cake dealers and take them down after the buy.
- N'udu's set it up for Saturday.
- Great.
- Oh, I heard N'udu was seeing your buddy.
How's that goin'? - Fine, fine.
Cool.
If you have any other friends, don't hesitate.
I don't have any other single friends.
I never said anything about single.
J.
K.
- It's okay to say "just kidding" in full.
- Mm.
I have to apologize.
I used some spray to clean your oven.
I didn't realize it was antifungal medication.
If your foot condition is severe, - I will run right to the pharmacy.
- It's fine, N'udu.
- You have a foot thing? - Let's just drop it.
Is it uncomfortable to speak about? In Ligeria, foot warts are a sign of leadership.
It means that you aren't afraid to walk barefoot through the world.
- I don't have warts.
- What do you have? Who knows? That spray kills everything, man.
Hey.
Listen, about you and Tara Isn't she fantastic? Yeah, definitely.
And I'm glad you two are getting along.
But I was wondering if you two could get along outside the condo sometimes.
Oh, we get along everywhere.
That's what's so great.
Let me put it another way.
As a good friend of Tara's, I know she likes to be spoiled.
So why not take her to a hotel or buy her a fancy dinner at a restaurant on the other side of town? Yes, of course.
What else can I give her? Maybe some sleep.
I know I could use some.
I am so regretting putting the French doors between the bedrooms.
Hey, so get this.
I'm going to the wedding after all.
Really? Oh.
What about your surg Yeah.
We just got to talking about the DJ and her relatives and I realized I can't miss this.
So, you know, if she's happy, I'm happy.
And yet she's crying over her seating plan in her office.
Yeah, she cries when she's excited.
- That's great news.
This will be fun.
- Yeah! Somebody will slip up, expose an informant, it'll be hilarious.
So whatever.
How are you getting up there? Oh.
Helene and I are driving up, if you'd like to join us.
No, thanks.
I don't know what's happened in your back seat.
I'm taking my car.
If I don't drive, I end up drinking too much and then I walk out of there with googly eyes and cake in my pockets.
Anyways, you're welcome to a lift.
- Sure.
It'll save on gas.
- Yeah.
It's very practical.
- Okay.
I'll swing by your place beforehand.
- Mm.
What? Ah.
Hm? Oh, thank goodness you're here.
Where are your good napkins? All I found are the bad ones.
- What are you doing here? - You let me leave work early, remember? Because I thought you were taking Tara out to dinner.
Yes.
But then I thought to myself, "What says love more than a meal cooked from the heart?" A meal cooked at a restaurant several blocks away.
Alex.
I thought you'd be at work.
I bore down to get everything done, skipped lunch, even.
- Well, then you should join us.
- Please.
- I can thin the minestrone.
- And I can cut my lobster tail in two.
No, really, I was just heading back out, actually.
Nonsense.
I was going to melt some chocolate for an activity later but you can have it now.
Oh, guys.
Ha, seriously, I was just coming back to make sure that the oven was off.
It's on.
On or off, as long as we're sure.
- You you have to stay.
- Nope.
Got a date, actually.
- Really? - Yeah.
And as my old roomie knows, this girl can get her freak, freak on.
She made that intriguing and disturbing all at the same time.
- Hi.
- This is Cindy from HR.
Oh, hi.
Okay, well, where to, madam? Brad and Amanda's wedding.
Right.
I just figured maybe we were picking your date up on the way? No.
Did you have a nice night? Yes.
There really wasn't enough food for three people.
That's fine.
I didn't want you to date N'udu at first.
I'm not sure why.
It's been a while since I've had that with anyone and it was happening right in my guest room.
Oh, we used your room once.
Sorry.
Sure.
Okay.
I can probably deal with that later.
But the big picture is that you're happy.
- I need to end it.
- What? No.
Why? N'udu is a lot of fun, but he is pushing this relationship stuff pretty hard.
- He's not a psycho, is he? - No.
Well, yes, in a good way.
He says he loves everything about me.
I know my self-esteem is sometimes iffy, but that's not normal.
He's passionate.
Once he said he wanted to make love to a bunch of kalamata olives.
I don't think I can handle it.
I have to figure out how to break up that doesn't involve moving to a different city.
Hello.
Just thought I would take you to work.
How is that for an excuse to see my girlfriend? So what do you think of Halifax? I couldn't help myself.
I had to get another look at my sweetheart.
Make it count.
You are just full of surprises.
Really? Me, full of surprises? Guilty as charged.
- Oh, my.
- Oh, N'udu.
Oh, it's beautiful.
You should hold on to the receipt as a keepsake.
Oh, there's an inscription.
It's a Ligerian saying.
It means when you know, you know.
And sometimes you don't know, right? That's gotta be in a Ligerian saying book somewhere.
Are you two going to be late for work? Yes, we will.
Thank you, my angel.
Now, go out there and be good spies and keep those secrets safe, including any secrets involving me.
Oh.
Ah, this is gonna be a fun day.
Well, that was a long car ride.
- It was like I caught every red light.
- And train crossing.
And that train was so long.
Yeah, you counted them.
JoJo, I just wanna say, that dress is really pretty.
Thanks.
I really wanna say the same about yours.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
This place is so romantic.
It screams Facebook profile photo.
- I can take that for you.
- Thanks.
But I want it to be a selfy.
So I guess we'll see you Yeah, inside.
You two have fun.
- Should I smile? - No, it should look candid.
All right, let's keep workin' our story.
N'udu, you look a little smiley for an arms dealer.
Drop it down, big guy.
That is going to be hard.
I'm in such a state of love.
Uh-huh.
Alex, you look like something's weighing heavily on your conscience.
What? No.
I'm fine.
I thought it was a nice touch.
You're an engineer working for a terrorist.
Chances are you'd be a little conflicted.
Yeah.
I like to get deep into character.
Nice.
Keep at it.
We've got black market uranium out there.
We need to lock it down.
I am never gonna make this wedding.
Ah, well.
I'll just toast the bride on Skype.
You know, love is fleeting.
And it may not even exist, so it's good to keep a level perspective.
Tara has a level perspective.
Ah, now I miss her.
I I think what you're missing is maybe a little moment to assess the situation.
I mean, who is this Tara girl, anyway? She's sleeping in your guest room, for now, until I ask her to move in with me.
Oh, that's not a great idea.
I know.
It sounds crazy.
But love is crazy.
And I am crazy.
- N'udu, Tara's gonna break up with you.
- Come again? She told me this morning.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Now you're a little too down.
Find something in the middle.
You know what, Helene? This reminds me of when we got married.
- Except we had better music, - Ah.
and worse clothes.
What can I get you, mon amour? Three Sex on the Beach.
- I'm not big into shots.
- We didn't order for you.
So, Burt brought a date.
I prefer to fly solo at a wedding, avoid all the awkward date-wedding thing, trying too hard to like each other.
Um, excuse me.
I suddenly have the urge to dance.
What are you waiting for, lightning to strike you in the ass? Pardon me? I see you checking out poil de carotte.
Oh, I don't Let me tell you a story about me and Claude.
I think I've heard this.
That handsome jerk kept me waiting for four years.
I haven't heard this version.
I kept dropping hint after hint, but they landed on his feet like wet potatoes.
So you decided to marry someone else? Ah, it seemed like the right thing to do.
And it worked.
Claude finally wised up.
We kissed, people punched.
And you've been happy ever since.
You're funny.
Well, are you just going to stand there or are you gonna wise up? Hello, Amanda.
Jenna saw you at sensitivity training the day of your gastric bypass.
I'll be honest with you.
I didn't have surgery.
I suffer from memory loss.
Have you seen Amanda? My aunt is at home right now eating no-name pork kebobs 'cause of you.
- I'm sorry.
I don't even wanna be here.
- What? No, it not you it was beautiful.
- The fish was delicious.
- You were supposed to have the beef! - I should go.
- You take your gift, liar.
It isn't mine.
- Take it.
- Okay.
JoJo? Gotta go, Burt.
We'll talk later.
Good structure, robust colouration.
You're running at 85% U308? All I know is the price and you shouldn't put it in your mouth.
- Your guy gonna buy or what? - Why? Why? Why? I'm not gonna lie.
He's a little upset.
We don't wanna hang around here.
If your guy's not interested, we'll cut this off.
I'll talk to him.
Look, yellow cake is very special.
I understand that this seems like the only yellow cake in the world to you right now, but there will be other yellow cake that will be even more special.
Fine.
We'll lower the price.
Really? That will please my associate.
- We wanna get rid of the stuff.
- Thank you.
You'd think you'd be happier.
You can make a nuke now.
I just need some time to process all of this.
Pretty refined as is.
Trust me, he's happy.
He'll be blowin' up stuff real soon.
Targets are heading to the parking lot.
Take 'em down.
That's a nice speech, Alex.
Did you also intend it to apply to my heartbreak? Uh, yeah.
Everything okay out here? Yeah.
I've always wanted a sterling silver martini shaker with "Amanda and Brad" engraved on it.
So, how's everything going with Cindy? Good.
She likes me.
Good.
Do you want a cosmo? Because let me tell you, I make a mean I told her I didn't feel the same way about her.
She must have been disappointed.
Nah, she understands.
What's the point in dating someone when you wanna be with someone else? Look, do you want a drink or Are you gonna hit me? Probably not.
Oooh.
That's sweet.
Excuse me.
Right back at 'er.
- Hungry? - Starving.
Did you make all this? Well, it's some stuff that I had planned to make for, well, someone, but you deserve it more.
Thanks.
I'll eat her food, I don't care.
And thanks for helping me over this Tara thing.
- Tara doesn't know what she's missing.
- Thank you.
And please never say her name, ever again.
What's goin' on in here, a little foodness? Yeah, N'udu made a feast.
I'm not a really big fan of sea scallops, but I'll try one.
Hey, I also have a bottle of wine in my office.
Should I go, You guys probably wanna wind down after the big mish.
- I won't bother you.
- No stay.
Half the staff's at that wedding, anyway.
- We should at least have a good meal.
- And there's plenty.
Just so you know, the food is meant to arouse.
Now we'll all be thinking about that when we eat.
I'm gonna be thinking about how close I am to your feet.
I'll go get the wine.
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven