Life & Beth (2022) s02e09 Episode Script

1
- (CARS RACING, TIRES SCREECHING)
- (VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
(CONTROLLER CLICKING)
(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS CONTINUE)
Get to 60 MPH. Let's go, yep.
- Go. Jump!
- (BEEPING)
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
- (MUTTERING)
- (ROARING)
- Go, go, g
- (CRASH)
- Ah, fuck you!
Fuck you!
You should've won.
That was such bullshit.
Okay, let's keep this
door open for fresh air.
Anyone want peanut butter on celery?
- Thank you, Mrs. Russo. Thanks.
- MRS. RUSSO: Caleb?
Okay, what's this game?
Mom, can you leave? What are you
- Leave.
- Okay.
Just (SIGHS)
CALEB: It's straight.
It's good. Can-Can
- Enjoy the game!
- This looks delicious.
Thank, thank you so much.
- (SLAM)
- God, she stresses me out.
- Just walkin' into my room.
- What's she so worried about?
(SIGHS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
She's probably worried I'll do this.
♪♪
Or this.
Wanna touch it?
Okay.
(BELT RATTLING)
(SHARP INHALE)
(RUBBING)
Uh, like this? (SIGHS)
Yeah, um. Yeah, uh.
- (SIGH)
- Am I doing something wrong?
- No, no, uh, its
- It's, it's supposed to
It's supposed to get hard.
I-It's Right? It's
It's just Yeah, I don't know.
It's just too much, like, pressure.
It's, like, ah.
Oh. Oh, God. I'm sorry.
- (BETH LAUGHING)
- N-N-Not that kind of pressure. Um.
Uh, maybe if you put your hair down.
You-You look prettier like that.
Okay.
♪♪
Yeah.
(VOMITING)
(BAG RUSTLING)
Okay. Sorry.
(PUTS DOWN BAG)
- I'm sorry about that.
- It's fine.
Do I look okay?
Yeah, you look fine. Why?
Maybe I should put some bronzer on?
(SOFT LAUGH)
You wanna get a cat eye
for the clinic? (SIGHS)
Just, just I just want
them to respect me in there.
Yeah, you, you look great, babe.
I want a blowout. Can we stop?
- Yeah.
- (TURN SIGNAL CLICKING)
- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah, I want a blowout.
(SIGHS)
(DRIVER DOOR SHUTS)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
- This is it?
- Yes.
We always wanted to be
pregnant at the same time.
Mm. We did it.
- Hi.
- (FOOTSTEPS)
I'm having a geriatric pregnancy,
you're having a geriatric abortion.
How could you kill your unborn child?!
It's a sin! You're a sinner!
Nobody will ever love you!
- That one hurt.
- (SIGHS)
Thank you for taking the heat.
Jesus will never forgive you!
BETH: It's supposed to be your day.
Sorry to steal your thunder.
Don't do it! Don't do it!
- Anyone see the new Ted Lasso?
- So good.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hi!
- Hi.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Do you already have an
insurance card on file?
What? No. I-I-I've
never been here before.
Not that it would be bad
to be here before. I just
I have two kids.
Many people who come in here have kids.
I'll just need your card.
Great. You can take a seat.
I'll come get you when we're ready.
(SIGHS)
How you feeling?
I just wanna get it over with.
I don't know why I'm
shaking. I'm not scared.
It's a lot.
Mm, yeah. Well,
I am sure it will be
better than childbirth.
Thirty hours of agony
ending in a C-section.
Oh, okay, but I'm sure
yours is gonna be a breeze.
- Yeah. (SIGHS)
- How are you guys?
- Mm.
- That bad?
(SIGHS) It's just, like,
we have to work so hard
on everything all the time.
Mm, that's forever.
At least you and John talk.
Bryan doesn't even know I'm alive.
Unless it's to talk about our mortgage
or how to fix pinkeye.
- (SCOFF)
- (DOOR OPENS)
RECEPTIONIST: Jess? We're ready for you.
(MURMURS) Just watch my stuff.
I'll be right here. Okay?
- (DOOR SHUTS)
- (CLEARS THROAT)
♪♪
(DRAMATIC CRESCENDO)
(CAR RACING BY ON TV)
(TV CHATTER)
(BOTTLE SLOSHING)
- (PUTS DOWN BOTTLE)
- (SLOSHING)
(TV CHATTER CONTINUES)
My mom won't be home until tomorrow,
so if you wanna sleep over.
Yeah, right.
Nah, my mom would kill me.
She thinks I'm at Tim's right now, so.
(TV CHATTER CONTINUES)
(CRESCENDO)
(CAR NOISES CONTINUE)
(TRUCK HORN ON TV)
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
(QUIET LAUGH)
Finished my 40. Should I keep drinking?
I don't know. Sure, if you want.
(SNIFF)
- (CLINIC CHATTER)
- (QUIET PHONES RINGING)
(PHONE BUZZ)
(PHONE BUZZ)
- Hey.
- JOHN (OVER PHONE): Hey.
Where are you?
Said you'd come back this
morning, and you're not here.
I'm at an abortion clinic.
- That's not funny.
- No. (LAUGHS)
For Jess. Jess is having an abortion.
I'm not. I'm gonna keep ours.
- Well, that's good news.
- Yeah.
Beth, I'm sorry about last night.
I shouldn't have gotten so worked up.
But you'll see when you come home,
the house is much better now.
BETH (OVER PHONE): I know, I just
feel like we're at a standstill.
- Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm trying.
- I know.
(SIGHS) I just I
need some time. I-I,
I'll, I'll see you later, okay?
- Okay.
- Bye.
(HANGS UP)
(TOOLS THUDDING)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKER)
♪♪
(DOOR OPENS)
Sorry to keep you
waiting. I'm Dr. Sabri.
I'll be performing your procedure today.
And, uh, your vitals look good.
So, I'll just be doing
a quick examination,
and then we're gonna do your ultrasound.
Ultrasound? Is this a trick?
You show me my baby
and I change my mind?
Because you can't make me keep it.
I already have two kids
and I don't like either of them, much.
- Mrs.?
- Jess. Just Jess.
Jess, I can assure you, this is
not one of those clinics.
(SIGHING) Okay. I just
I got worried that I
might've accidentally booked
one of those religious places 'cause
Just, like
Oh. (CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, I, um, understand that
my hijab can be confusing.
I believe in a woman's right to choose.
What she would like to wear and
whether she would like to be pregnant.
Wow.
I just I-I, I never really
met someone like you before.
You've never met a Muslim before?
There are, like, two
billion of us in the world.
Not where I'm from. (LAUGHS)
Sorry! I-I'm so thrown
by your headscarf.
It's kind of like seeing a celebrity,
but somewhere you don't expect.
Like, Emily Blunt in a Duane Reade.
Mm. Muslims, they're just like us.
- (WEAK LAUGH)
- Let's go over the procedure.
Okay, yeah, let's.
So, we're gonna give you some meds.
You're gonna be partially sedated.
And don't worry, you're
not gonna feel a thing,
and you're not gonna remember any of it.
Okay.
Can you give me something like that
for the last few months of my life?
(SNIFFLES) Sorry. (LAUGHS)
Years, actually.
Honestly, this would've never happened
if my friend hadn't wheeled away
while I was peeing in the alley
- Let's return to the procedure.
- Okay.
So, it's gonna take
less than 15 minutes,
and then you're gonna
have a bit of time to rest
before you go home.
Do you have any questions?
No, but here's some advice.
Don't get married.
You'll never have sex again.
And when you do, it will be like a chore
you have to schedule
on the family calendar,
like a dental cleaning.
You'll never feel wanted
or desired in the same way.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS) I mean,
most men think I'm a nun.
They act like I'm wearing
an invisibility cloak.
It's like I'm not there.
If it makes you feel any
better, that also happens
when you turn 40.
It doesn't.
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
(SCRIBBLING)
(CRUNCHING)
DR. SABRI: Have you ever
had any kind of anesthesia
or sedation before?
Um, just once. My wisdom
teeth in high school.
My mom said I was slurring
and asking why there's no Mr. America.
(LAUGHS) Obviously,
there's no Mr. America.
Mr. America is just,
like, the president.
Women have to be in a goddamn
swimsuit competition our whole lives.
Are you ready?
You're gonna do great.
We're gonna take great care of you.
(EASY LISTENING COVER
OF "TOXIC" PLAYING)
(BOTH INHALE)
- (RELAXED EXHALE)
- (SPUTTERING EXHALE)
Okay.
We're gonna get those meds started now,
-and they're gonna relax you,
-(JESS BREATHES LABORIOUSLY)
and you'll be all done
before you know it.
It's just like taking a nap, right?
Exactly.
(SHUDDER)
(SONG CONTINUES)
(SINGS ALONG) There's no
escape, I can't wait ♪
I need a hit, baby, give me it ♪
You're dangerous, I'm lovin' it ♪
BOTH (SINGING ALONG):
Too high, can't come down ♪
(SONG CONTINUES)
'Round ♪
Can you feel me now? ♪
With a taste of your lips ♪
I'm on a ride ♪
You're toxic, I'm slippin' under ♪
With a taste of
your poison paradise ♪
I'm addicted to you ♪
Don't you know that you're toxic? ♪
(ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING LOUDLY)
(SINGER VOCALIZING)
(SONG ENDS)
(NEW SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)
How do you feel?
Better.
Should we go and get fucking completely
hammered somewhere and just
kinda, like, eat each other out?
- I was hoping you would ask!
- We should. I feel like this is
- a good time. (LAUGHS)
- Let's eat each other out.
Make a left.
(JESS GIGGLES)
("EVERY TIME THE SUN COMES UP"
BY SHARON VAN ETTEN PLAYING)
- (SHIFTS INTO PARK)
- (SIGHS)
Every time the sun comes up ♪
I'm in trouble ♪
Hey! You're home early.
Yeah. Hi. They, um
they, uh, canceled
my last day of seminars,
so I came home. I just
- I really wanted to be home.
- Yeah, I'm sure.
You've really been running around a lot.
- (PUTS DOWN CAN)
- (SIGHS)
Hair looks nice.
(GIGGLES) Thank you.
But, Jess (SIGHS)
there's something
we need to talk about.
Okay.
No more secrets.
Uh-huh.
(BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE)
(SIGHS)
I extended the lease on
the Chrysler Pacifica.
I know I should've talked
to you about it first,
I shouldn't have gone behind
your back. Just (SIGHS)
I didn't wanna have the
whole Kia Sedona discussion
all over again, and (SIGHS)
I'm sorry.
♪♪
(SIGHS)
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (FOOTSTEPS)
- Hey!
- (TV CHATTER)
- Hey.
(BOTTLES RATTLING)
♪♪
You guys are drinking more?
- Yeah.
- You should just come out here,
and we can watch this movie together.
This girl just made a
bikini out of whipped cream.
Caleb and I actually just
wanna be alone together.
You wouldn't understand. (WEAK LAUGH)
You should go to sleep
in Mom's room, okay? It's getting late.
♪♪
(HISSING)
(TV CHATTER)
(CAR ENGINES ROARING)
Got another 40.
You look, uh, you look tired.
I do? Okay.
(TV SOUNDS CONTINUE)
I'm not. I'm so awake.
Uh, should we
try again?
Yeah.
(PUTS DOWN BOTTLE)
(KISSING)
(BELT CLICKS, PANTS UNZIP)
(KISSING CONTINUES)
(INHALE) I don't know. I
don't really feel like it.
- (SIGHS)
- (GRABS BOTTLE)
- (SLOSHING)
- (SIGHS) Um.
Sh Uh, should I be
doing something different?
You want my hair different?
N-N-No, um, it's just, eh,
it's just a little stressful.
I think, um, maybe I just
I drank too much, ya know?
(SIGHS)
You can touch me.
(TV SOUNDS CONTINUE)
(KISSING)
Whoa.
- You're totally wet.
- Is that bad?
- No, that's
- Should I clean it up?
- No, that's, that's good, that's good.
- Okay.
- (KISSING)
- (TV SOUNDS CONTINUE)
Just forget it. (SIGHS)
(BETH SIGHS)
Um.
Um.
(GRABS BOTTLE)
(SLOSHING)
(GULP, GAG)
(SIGHING) Hoo.
Alright.
(SIGHS)
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
(BED CREAKING)
(DRAMATIC STING)
Caleb? (PANTING)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
I-I thought you knew.
Fuck. I'm so fucked.
(BOTH PANTING)
(CALEB SOBS)
(CRYING)
No, uh, it's, it's
okay. It's okay. It's
Here, look, it's, it's
almost like (SHUSHES)
- It's okay, it's okay.
- (CRYING) I fucked up! It's so fucked up!
- (CRYING)
- It's okay.
- Beth, are you okay?
- Hey!
Go back to the living room!
(CALEB CRYING)
(HEAVY BREATHING)
♪♪
(INDISTINCT SINGING)
(SHUTTER SNAP)
- (INDISTINCT SINGING)
- (CAMERA WINDING)
(MUFFLED CHATTER)
(INDISTINCT SINGING)
JANE: Oh, big smile!
CALEB'S MOM: Caleb, Beth,
over here. Big, big smile.
(VOICES BECOME DISTORTED)
(CRESCENDO)
- (CAR HONKS OUTSIDE)
- (SIGHS)
- It's good to see you, Beth.
- BETH: Thank you. You too.
I'm glad I'm here. I
really want this to work.
Yeah, well, it's up to you and John
to choose to be in this marriage,
to show up for each
other every single day.
I mean, that's all life is, Beth.
- Just choices.
- BETH: Yeah,
and I'm trying to remind
myself that he's not the
- other men who have been in my life.
- DR. MORRIS: Yes.
That's the name of
the game for everyone.
But when it comes to John and who he is,
do you feel like he's there for you?
Yeah. Yeah, totally. He
Even when he doesn't really
know how to be there, he's he
shows up for me.
- That's good.
- BETH: Yeah. I mean,
sometimes, he gets really
fixated on things, and
that makes me feel unsafe and,
like, abandoned?
Right, because that's
what you're used to.
Yeah.
John, do you hear what Beth is saying?
Yeah.
She needs to feel safe
'cause she never has.
DR. MORRIS: Hm. And it-it sounds like
your home environment is a little
triggering for her right now.
Mm-hm. And when she
doesn't believe in me,
that's triggering for me.
Well, these are all really
excellent observations.
And, actually, our home
is very nearly done, so.
But I hear what she's
what you're saying.
BETH: Well, I wanted to bring up
that we have this opportunity
where Cole, my employer,
they have the keys
to this house upstate,
and we could totally go stay there.
It's, like, just sitting there,
and I really wanna do that
while-while they finish our house.
And does that feel safe to you, John?
(SIGHS)
Let's go upstate.
(BETH SIGHS)
- (BETH GROANS)
- So, who owns it?
- Uh, the house?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's just, like,
a friend of Cole's.
They're gone, like, half the year.
Yeah, we can stay 'til, like,
ya know, after the birth.
Ya know? Yeah.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
- Good. Alright.
- Mm-hm.
Well, the first 40 days
are the most important.
I'm gonna keep you full of bone broth.
You're cute. That's really sweet.
And, hey, so listen, Cesar's
sister gave birth up here.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, and she hooked us up
with this amazing doula
and birthing center.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Are you kidding me?
You are, like, meeting my
needs so fucking hard right now.
Well, good. Yeah, I
thought you'd like that.
No, I'm, like, really
turned on, actually.
- You are?
- Yeah.
- By the doula thing?
- Yeah! Just I-I'm, like I don't know.
Can you, like, pull over?
I'm, like I, like, want you.
- Right now?
- Yeah. Like, I, like,
- need you right now.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Is that illegal? Or
Should I pretend to be a
firefighter or something?
- No, just I don't know. Wh-What, just
- Just, just be me?
Just be you. Can you, can
you, like, pull over or?
Yeah. Lemme just go around this bend.
- Yeah, no, 'cause I'm, like Yeah.
- Okay.
I know. I just don't wanna
be right here on the road.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Okay, hang on. Okay.
- Don't lose it! Don't buckle up.
- Okay. No, I'm not gonna lose it.
- I've got it. I've got it, okay.
- Okay. We're pulling over in 24 seconds.
- Okay, here we go.
- A-As soon as I get around the curve.
- There's, like, no turn-off.
- I see a spot. No, here we go.
("THE NEXT MESSIAH"
BY JENNY LEWIS PLAYING)
I want to tell you I love you ♪
Woo ♪
♪♪
He's the next messiah ♪
(SONG ENDS)
It's so easy.