Lost Girl (2010) s02e09 Episode Script

I am so jealous of my feet.
I had these puppies on layaway for three months! Uh huh-- Resss-straint! YayKenzi.
Super-yay.
Of course, if I was you I would have just succubus-ed the face off fifty shoe clerks and marched these babies right home.
Good thing you're not me.
Yeah, that's right nerd-ling-- Hey! Yoink! "Life, Not Love: Learning to Like Yourself Alone"? Dude, no! This is how it all starts.
Hey, there is nothing wrong with a little TLC for the soul.
Whoa, you did not just use "TLC" in a sentence.
WE are going out.
A, we cannot deny the world the chance to witness my stems in these kicks-- Oh, you're such a giver.
And B, we have been working SO hard.
You got up at noon and then took a two o'clock nap! It could be my, my, my birthday, Christmas, Passover gift all rolled into one! Please?? Bo-- We need this.
The idea of running into Dyson with Ciara? It's like the bar is suddenly enemy territory.
No.
It is OUR bar, that is why you can't give up so easy.
Though tonight, you like to party among the hostiles-- In disguise.
Sexy biker chick.
Go as someone else? Preferably a girl who would recycle this.
What the hell.
What the hell?! Well, I guess bingo night's turned out to be a real hoot.
Oh, come on! Uhhhhh-- Act cool.
Wow-- What's with the new look? And the "you gotta pay for this" vibe? Not that I don't love it.
Nice kicks, Kenz-- Dyson, we're up-- At least the worst part is behind us.
You could say that.
Bo-- Lauren-- Stay strong, I'll get us a pitcher-- Each-- Life is hard when you don't know who you are.
It's harder when you don't know what you are.
My love carries a death sentence.
I was lost for years.
Searching while hiding.
Only to find that I belonged to a world hidden from humans.
I won't hide anymore.
I will live the life I choose.
I, uh-- I can't believe you're here.
I can't believe how good you look.
Sorry-- Sometimes my-- Words and my thoughts don't-- Yeah-- It's nice you got a hall pass for bingo night.
Yeah, what's that about? Anyway, I can't stay for it, I'm here on official Ash business.
Well-- At least that's what I told Lachlan.
The old your mouth says one thing, your lips say another.
Or, kiss another as the case may be.
Sorry-- No, it's okay.
It was just-- It was weird, you kissing me in front of Nadia.
No, I mean sorry, I need to talk to Trick.
And I need to murder Kenzi.
None of these books had what I was looking for.
Did you try Wikipedia? You think this is funny? No, I think you look like you needed a joke.
Maybe a beer.
What I need is information on the darkest of the dark shamans so that I can figure out who cursed Nadia.
I'm scrounging up as much research as I can.
But, witch doctors are dangerous.
You should tread lightly.
Yeah, I've tread lightly for the past five years.
Now I'm serving a man like Lachlan.
Lauren-- Sorry-- I haven't been sleeping much.
Tell me about it.
With all the recent fighting alienating all my clientele, I thought a bingo night would be fun.
Clearly I chose the wrong kind of fun.
Two words, Trick: Mechanical bull.
Incoming-- So! So-- So, let's bench it.
What? The awkward history.
Maybe we should try being friends.
I mean, really real friends.
What's in this? It's me in this.
Dressing like someone else makes me realize how good change can be.
Well, I-- I agree.
And I think it's lovely that Detective Hale has changed into your ex-girlfriend.
So, is this what you meant by having a drink with the boys? Cause, I think I might have a different meaning for that phrase across the pond.
Okay, then-- Sorry, Bo, you've just, uh-- Stepped into an argument that was cut short-- what? an hour ago? Ciara, why don't we just go for a walk, please? You see, I feel as though I started reading this wonderful novel, but the middle section's been ripped out and everyone around me has had the luxury of reading those missing pages, but nobody will tell me what happened.
That's because there's nothing important to tell.
Wait, what?? Gimme back my friendship beer.
If there's nothing important then why'd you clam up when I asked about her in that photograph? And why does everybody hold their breath and stare every time you and I are in the same room? I didn't mean nothing.
I just mean I can't talk about it, I don't want to talk about it.
What did you do to him? Excuse me? Uh, your attention please! Ya'll having a good time? Excellent.
Because nobody's leavin'.
Who are you? Name's Woods.
I'm trackin' an escaped mental patient, calls hisself Reynard.
THE Reynard? That's right.
The Dark let him escape? Uh huh.
And in honor of this terribly embarrassing occasion, I'm throwin' myself a little shindig.
See if I can't round me up some sociopath.
And all you fine folks is invited.
It's not likely, my friend-- You see this? Oh-- Well, I raise you this-- Ahhhhhhh! Stop! This is a place of sanctuary! What the hell was that? Well now, let's just call it a warning.
And a taste of what I've wrapped around this entire establishment.
Whoever tries to leave here before I get what I came for does so with a blatant disregard for their own well-being.
And potentially-- Their own life.
The man I'm lookin' for is somewhere on these premises.
And I aim to find him.
If that lunatic is here, we should evacuate the bar! Why are you confining my innocent patrons?! Because Reynard could be hidin' IN one of them.
And I let you talk me into coming out tonight.
Great.
Placing a containment field around the entire bar It's a bit excessive, don't you think? Reynard escaped from a maximum security Dark Fae facility.
Would you rather I string up a velvet rope? The Dark have no authority here.
This is neutral territory.
There are exceptions to the rules, old timer.
Namely, 84-B of the Fae Code: Regarding imminent risk to the public safety.
Reynard is a demented anarchist, Trick.
I know who he is.
I attended his murder trial.
Then you know how dangerous he can be.
I can't believe you're supporting this! I am tolerating this.
For now.
Reynard was under the care of one heck of a psychiatrist.
During her treatments she used to inject her patients with her own blood.
She could literally get under their skin, enter their bodies and feel their emotions.
A Gorgon.
Uh huh.
Yeah, and before he escaped this wing-nut Reynard strangled her, used one of her syringes to steal some of her blood.
What do you think he's planning to do with it? What he always does-- Cause chaos.
He's alive.
What happened to him? We confirmed it.
Reynard's poisoned the kegs.
Anyone who's had some beer tonight, has ingested the Gorgon blood.
Could be worse.
Could have ingested Trick's Crème de Squid.
That is not a thing.
Soall of us.
Except for me.
I wouldn't be caught dead drinking that swill.
Sorry-- Barkeep humor.
Cute.
And since Reynard's body's catatonic, it's probable he also ingested the blood.
Allowing him to transport into someone else's skin.
Whose? Well, it shouldn't be hard for us to find the imposter.
We all know each other well.
Actually, I wouldn't say I know any of you very well.
Hi, I'm Bo.
I haven't picked a side, yada-yada-yada-- Therefore, I'm not playing this little game.
I'm leaving-- Uh uh-- That's impossible, I'm afraid.
I also have to go, I've only been given two hours away from the Ash's compound.
Hey guys, how would I know if a dude was inside me? Been a while? Reynard's not sharing a body.
He's taken it over.
Then where does the essence from the original body go? Sssssssss-- Somewhere into the ether.
What was that? Who are you?! I'm pleased we're finally able to meet like this.
Alone.
To talk.
I'm not much for chit-chat.
You-- Welcome to Hamistagan.
English, please.
Welcome tolimbo.
Look for uncharacteristic behavior in one another.
Reynard's an excellent mimic, but he can't fool all ya'll.
Fine, let's do this systematically.
Well, perhaps we could start by looking at Dyson.
Hasn't really been himself lately.
Or, maybe he has.
Not sure if I'd know.
I bet you'd rather be anyone but you right now, hey D-man? Stop it, this is serious.
Seriously bad timing.
We're trapped in a bar, maybe for days and this is the night the new waitress has off? Enough! Is everybody payin' attention?! Because Reynard is certainly paying attention! He's learnin' and plottin'! If you knew what he was capable of, you'd be beggin' me to find who Reynard is hidin' in! And extinguish the threat! Extinguish? Dude needs to take a chill pill, drink a brewsky, man-- Spill it, demon seed.
There's got to be more to you than just my personal stalker.
I am the Nain Rouge.
I'm compelled to witness important events in time.
Like a mini-paparazzo? Your beloved humans have a less sophisticated take on my existence.
They call me the Harbinger of Doom.
A messenger of disaster.
Thanks for dumbing it down.
So, why are you always lurking around-- Me.
You are.
Significant.
Oh, boy, here we go again-- The extinction of the Fae is upon us.
The extinction? I'm sorry, do I need to use smaller words? Fae go bye-bye? You know you're awfully patronizing for a half-pint.
I understand you! I just don't believe you! It is to be.
Unless you, Isabo, fulfill your destiny.
See, I don't do destiny.
Just like I don't do picking sides-- And my name is not Isabo! See for yourself-- What have you done? Youcan't-- Now, you've seen your fate.
So, you're friends? Yeah-- Kind of-- Kind of? Mmm, it's complicated.
I'm an all-powerful siren, you're a lightweight.
I'm wicked, you're a wang.
I'm playing it cool.
I don't want the bounty hunter to know about us.
About us what? About us anything.
What do you know about this bounty hunter? Nothing.
That's what worries me.
He's a bounty hunter who can create containment fields-- He's a Boraro.
Boraro? These guys are born trackers.
He'll do whatever it takes to bring in his prey.
Including things way outside the law.
I won't let that happen.
As long as you're actually you.
Fine! Fine, we're friends! Ok? Friends, BFF's! Pinky swears, borrow each other's bras-- Can we just please move on? Yep! That's Hale alright-- The guy I hate right now.
Whole building trapped in a giant hunting snare-- Clever.
Hurt-y.
I was so hoping to storm off with a flourish.
No exit.
Not without taking Woods out.
Why are you so desperate to leave? There's a lot to handle-- The doctor, Dyson.
You.
It's a lot of feelings.
And what would you say you're feeling for me? Pity.
Attraction-- Loathing.
Whatever it is, it's exhilarating.
Hey, sweet-meat.
You alright? I'm tip-tops! I love your boots! Yo, Bobafet-- I think I know where Reynard is hiding-- Oh, wow! This succubus' body is strong! I could snap this girl's neck like a twig! Huh?! Talk about ironic! That would break Bo's heart! It'll be the last thing you do before I rip your heart out, Reynard.
Well, then you'd never get Bo back-- She'd be STUCK in limbo! That vision was a con! Why would I trust the horror movie cliché that sent me to Hammer-geddon? Hamistagan, and I did not bring you here.
You have been pushed out of your body by another.
So, put me back! I can only offer guidance.
Follow the light.
Which one? Merely an observer.
Remember? You and me-- We're not finished.
But, for now-- Eenie-- Meenie-- Minie-- Mo.
And they call me childish.
Hey, sixth sense-- Observe this.
This is going to get messy.
Ugh!!! Huh-uh! Ahhhhhhh! Hey, Woods!!! You better not go all UFC on my BFF!!! Woods, this is Bo's body! What this piece of meat between me and my payday?! Ugh! What the hell is goin' on? Bo, is that you? Oh, I'm not Bo, darlin'-- No-- I am.
Uhhhhh! Man-- Where am I? Who am I? Why are my pants so tight? What the hell's on my face?! Oh, dear-- Have we-- Have we all switched bodies? Oh, crap-- I'll get the nametags.
Easy-- Where's Reynard? I'm gonna gut that bastard like a Mississippi crawdad.
And we have "Woods.
" Oh-- And I'm really Bo.
How'd this happen, old timer? Yeah, Trick, what gives? I guess Bo caused a ripple effect when she jumped back from limbo.
Welcome back.
Uh, Bo-Bo-- I got the wolf junk, babe! Oh-- Don't touch it.
Don't touch anything.
Sorry-- Kenzi? Check me out! Kickin' it in the wolf man! Yeah! Kenzi-- Kenzi, go sit down before you break something.
Um-- Roger.
Wow, did you hear my voice? That was like so sexy.
Roger-- ROGER.
Sit.
Right-- Wait-- Who else we got? Ahem-- Ciara.
And I'm Hale.
Sorry about this-- Wow.
Ahem-- What did that take? Two seconds? Sorry about that, just-- I said wait-- D, how do the claws work? What is it like, like a Wolverine-y thing or-- She's not Dyson! I am.
Which means that this liar is Reynard.
Grrr-- Well then, I guess I better just go-- No, no, no! Let's figure this out! She's lying.
Or, he's lying.
I'm Dyson.
Can't take that chance, D.
You neitherD.
True dat! What we need to do is sit him down, play a little game of good cop, Kenzi cop! Whoa-- How does he control these pipes? Did you see that?! Wow! Hmmm! Where was Dyson born? What's Dyson's favorite food? What's Dyson's favorite position? Ciara-- Honestly, lady-- Not sure.
Well, why don't we ask Bo.
Are all fairies this freakin' jealous? Only when they've been lied to.
This is ridiculous.
I concur.
Hale, what is it? I want to kiss you.
A lot.
Aw, man! What else was in my beer? You must be feeling Ciara's passion for Dyson.
The Gorgon blood must be intensifying the emotions of the original body.
Where's Lauren? If these two are both claiming to be Dyson.
The good doc must be in limbo.
Where she might have to deal with the Nain Rouge.
That little girl really needs a time out.
Bo? You met the Nain Rouge? Uhmaybe.
What did you see in Hamistagan, Bo? Some damn effective birth control.
I need to know everything.
She calls herself the Nain Rouge.
I've seen her before, following me around.
You've seen her before?? You should have told me.
What was I gonna say? I seem to have attracted some boarding school groupie? I'm sorry, really-- I just didn't know what to make of her.
This is no joke.
The Nain Rouge rarely appears and when she does, it means trouble's on its way.
What did she say to you? What have you done? It'scomplicated.
Fine.
We'll talk about this later.
Now I have to figure out how to get everyone back into their own bodies before-- Please! Before all hell breaks loose? Stop, Woods! Now the who's the real Dyson quiz was amusin' but I think you'll find my methods more effective.
Ugh! Uh oh-- I know this look.
She's hungry.
Bo's body is hungry.
Trick said our bodies retain an echo of their original emotions.
What about primal instincts to survive? To feed.
If you insist.
Bo! She won't-- I won't be able to stop her! A little help, please! Kenzi, get in there! Guh! Oh! Oh-- I just watched myself die.
You're not dead and you're not gonna be.
Bo, you need to fix this, she's fading fast! I can't, I'm not in the right body! Grrrrr-- Woohoo! Man! Does she taste good-- What a rush.
Kenzi-- Get him out of here.
I'm on it.
Come on, dude.
This is for your own good.
Come on-- And be sure to chain him up.
Ciara? I can't stay in this body forever.
I can't do that to Hale's soul.
Wow-- I thought I felt alone before.
I know you're upset-- Save it.
Just promise me you'll take care of Dyson.
I kind of get the feeling you used to be pretty good at it.
Whatever Dyson and I had is over, Ciara.
I found a photograph of you.
Together.
You're laughing.
You look happy.
I do? I was.
What happened to him that he won't even discuss you? Maybe he doesn't care.
Things change, Ciara.
They sure do.
You will take care of him.
Promise me.
I promise you that when I get back into my own body, I'll breath your Chi back into you.
I can do it, Ciara.
How long do we have? More bad news.
Reynard must be in Lauren's body.
In the craziness of the attack she somehow escaped.
Oh, great-- Where would Reynard go? Nowhere good, sweet potato.
Nowhere good.
Come on, Woods.
You've read the file, you know his history, think.
Reynard's an anarchist.
A murderer.
He thrives on destruction.
But he's in Lauren's body.
And crazy as a sprayed roach.
What are you thinking, Bo? That Reynard will be fueled by Lauren's deepest desires.
So-- Any deep rage that she might have-- Even if it's too dark, or subconscious for Lauren herself to ever pursue.
African Shamans of the Congo-- Lauren was looking for something to reverse the curse on her girlfriend.
A curse that made her a slave to the light-- I know Lauren's deepest desires.
I know where Reynard's gone.
He's gone to kill the Ash.
No luck-- Whatever Woods put around the building must be blocking all the signals.
I can't find a way of removing it.
Though, I did start a fire on Trick's rug.
My eighth century Persian rug? I'm sure those things are made to last.
Manipulatin' my containment trap's kind of a special skill, sweetheart-- So is not succubus-ing everybody I know to death! This is bad, Bo.
I can still save her, Dyson.
I hope so.
Or, I rip Woods to shreads.
With what? Those press-on nails? This is on your head, Woods.
If the Dark Fae, even an insane one, kills the new Ash, the already precarious peace between our sides will crumble.
Well, that just takes the rag off the bush, don't it? Here's the deal-- When we track him, nobody's bagging Reynard, or the massive reward for his return, but me.
Whoa, whoa, wait, Trick-- How did Reynard get past Woods' snare to begin with? Your containment trap only works on Fae, doesn't it? Turns their own powers back on 'em.
Why? Reynard was in Lauren.
And Lauren's human.
Hold up! You had humans in here?! Well, why didn't somebody say so?! So, the only other person who can get out of here and warn Lachlan is another human-- Good luck.
Come to mama! Woo-- Five shots and I am feeling fine! Woo! Lordy, this body can drink! Hi, me! Hey, where you going? Dyson? I have to stop Reynard.
Oh, that does not look right.
Trick will find a way to get us back into our bodies, Ciara.
Good luck.
Oh, whoa, whoa-- Dude, dude, dude! Booby trap.
It won't leave a scratch.
Promise.
It's chilly out there.
I'm allergic to peanuts.
And my hair does this crazy thing when I get out into the rain-- Kenzi-- I'll take care of you.
Every powerless human inch of you.
Dang, I look good in those boots.
Lauren: Oh, my my! Oh, Dr.
Lauren has so many fun tools to play with.
So many naughty concoctions! Oh-- And so many reasons to be angry-- Oh, don't worry-- Reynard's gonna make all your dreams come true.
Well-- Maybe your nightmares.
This is Druh, Lauren.
The doctor.
I'd like to request an audience with the Ash, please.
Ohohoh-- And if I should happen to start a war in the process, let the flames fly! You know what, Bo? You are amazing.
And you are drunk, Kenz.
No, I am serious! I mean, the willpower it must take for you to control your hunger-- I mean, Woods is a pretty tough dude and he was in your body for what, like ten minutes before he-- Death-sucked Ciara like an evil vacuum.
Hey-- Do you think you can really still save Ciara? I better if I ever want Dyson to talk to me again.
What's it like in there, Kenz? Can you feel what he feels? Is he in love with Ciara? I never thought I'd say this, Bo, but I can't tell you.
It's his most private emotions.
Even if he is a no-good wolfnik.
I got it, my bad.
Although, I must admit, it does feel like he's got a bit of a foot fetish going on in here-- I think that's still you, Kenz.
Well, ain't that a peach.
I always wanted to try that hairpin trick.
Ash? Little girl-- You're tardy.
Mmmhmm-- ActuallyI'm Dyson.
What's in the syringe this time, Reynard? Hmmmfreedom.
Smells more like belladonnna.
Killing the Ash is just the catalyst.
The Light will try to retaliate against the Dark.
The Dark will note the vacuum in power and then pounce! Boop! All of which will lead to-- Chaos.
Ohhhhhhhh! What a beautiful word.
It's only a matter of time, anyway-- Something's coming.
I can feel it.
I'm just-- Speeding things along.
Well, I'm so glad I'm here to witness.
Hmmm-- Although, I think Kenzi's a little near-sighted.
Not another step!!! Did you renovate, Lachlan? I tried modernizing.
A little bit.
But some of the more antiquated features remain-- Hmm.
Yes, I've always liked this old floor.
Heck of a security system.
These things are good for something after all.
What if Dyson can't stop Reynard? What if he gets my wee body-- Dead? Then you'll both have to share Dyson's.
That's not funny, Bo! How would we work the bathroom? It's gonna be alright, Kenzi.
It really won't.
How'd you get out? Where's Trick? I've locked Trick down below.
It's important the Light never know I was here.
That Reynard escaped the Dark's clutches.
I need to end this.
Which is why I'm gonna burn this place to the ground.
You can't! Says who?! I'm a succubus who just topped up on Fairy Chi.
There ain't a man alive who can stop me now.
I'll take that bet.
Come on, big man.
Raaaaahhhhh! Nobody uses my bestie's body without buying her a drink first! Try to aim for not my face! Oh! This girl's body's more powerful than you reckon! More woman than you can handle! Ugh! Cool! That was surreal.
Ugh! God! Hey, Woods! Time for a face lift.
Oh, you don't have it in you, sweetheart.
Woods-- Lock me in my own lair, will ya? You might have a headache tomorrow.
Does this mean you found a way to get us back into our bodies? Couple of days in group therapy aught to flush out the Gorgon blood.
Seriously? No.
All it'll take is a transluminal migration circle.
Oh, well, I coulda told you that.
Special delivery.
Just in time.
How's Lachlan? Pretty pissed.
Did you guys see my wolf moves? Woohoo! Ciara! Easy, easy, easy, easy-- Am I-- You? Yes.
I was going to say alive.
Thank you.
I may not know everything there is to know about you, but I'm glad you're you.
Yeah-- Me too.
Thank you.
Ladies and Gentlemen-- You are encouraged to attend the final judgment day of our friend, Reynard here-- Although it is on Dark Fae territory, so maybe I'll just tip my cap and say thanks, ya'll.
It's been a real treat.
It's been a real treat alright-- Whoa, easy now, Doc-- I'm tired.
Hale, I'm not elderly.
Okay-- How was limbo? Weird.
I saw my Aunt Edna and she gave me her cheesecake recipe.
Where were you? Uh I don't even know.
All I do know is that I feel well-rested for the first time in a long time.
I'm jealous.
Alright, let's get you home, doc.
Goodnight.
We're going too.
Thank you.
Is that the best you can do? And you-- Yes? You are weak, pathetic and you need glasses.
Oh, wow.
That's kinda mean.
It's a miracle you survived this long, Kenz.
You just might be the strongest person I have ever met.
You know, I learned a few things about you, too.
Being inside you felt very empty.
You're missing something huge in here, aren't you? Come on, Ciara, let's go home.
You know, normally that might make me jealous-- It shouldn't, Bo.
Thanks for the whiskey.
I figured you'd be off beer.
So, what's gonna happen to that jackass bounty hunter anyway? Well, I told Woods that I wouldn't report him to the Light if he promised to never set foot in my bar ever again.
That's it? Well, I also threatened to transform him into a dung beetle.
You can do that now? No, but he doesn't know that.
Eventually, you're going to have to tell me what the Nain Rouge said.
She warned me.
She said something big was coming.
Something bad.
Historically, the Nain Rouge appears before major disasters.
We're gonna have to keep our guard up.
Don't we always? Yeah-- Oh, yeah-- She also called me Isabo.
Did she now? Hm-- We'll be fine.
As long as everybody stays in their own body.
And keeps their head about them.
How hard should that be? It goes without saying, we're going to have to beef up security.
Two men on every entrance.
Now.
Give me strength.