Run the Burbs (2022) s02e09 Episode Script

1
Bonzer! Look what we have here.
It's the Healthtron 2000XL!
Two thousand times the
power of the Healthtron 1.0!
This bad boy does it all.
If you drop your keys in there,
kiss them g'day, mate.
But we're going to find out if
it's good enough at making
Ultimate thick milkshakes.
Let's get started!
Banana. Milk.
Choco syrup. Choco chips.
What brings this boy to the yard?
Triple-churn ice cream,
- that's what.
- Yummy!
Let's give it a go.
It's real loud!
That's the sound of health!
Are you using my setup to
film fake infomercials again?
You know the rules.
Add brownies
for a delish bulking agent!
Crikey! That's bonzer!
Ripper! Just one more test.
We need to see if its thick
enough for the ultimate flip.
Oh, get the spoons! Get the spoons!
Not enough bulking agents!
Too much milk!
How could they do that, Dad?
What the F? It's an outrage.
Can you get over that
Spider-Man already?
They did Auntie May
dirty. I'll never forgive.
- But it's not that.
- Culturefest got cancelled!
What? Why?
Probably because Bob hates me.
This year, it just
happens to land on Tet,
and he cancels? Convenient.
I've been working my butt off
on my presentation about Vietnam.
I wanted Ong Noi to see it!
Bummer. I was going
to bless the community
with my chicken curry.
Dad, can't you do
something about it? Please?
Oh, buddy, you don't got to milk
the last drops of your
baby face cuteness for me.
I'm on it. Someone's
getting a phone call
during office hours tomorrow!
I'm talking about Bob.
Nobody was confused.
You've reached Robert "Bob" Boberts,
community development coordinator.
Please leave a message at the beep.
Thank you. Beep!
Oh! Hi, Bob.
It's Andrew Pham.
You remember me?
You cancelling Culturefest
is like you cancelling
cultural Christmas,
which makes you a culture Grinch.
Culture Grinch.
Oh, that is rich.
You faked your voicemail?
It's my vetting system.
Why'd you cancel Culturefest?
On lunar new year, no less?
I reallocated the funds into a
donor dinner for the country club.
We had donais.
You had a donair donor dinner?
Mm-hmm. Clever, right?
Culturefest is important!
Representation matters in our community.
It brings people
together In togetherness!
Look. I've been doing
Culturefest for 20 years.
If people are not
cultured enough by now,
that is on them!
I can't believe that guy.
- You know, this is right in your ballpark.
- What?
Fighting with crusty
municipal officials?
No, man. No one can pull together
people in togetherness like you!
You should run Culturefest.
I would do a better job than Bob.
We need you, man.
Have you read the neighbourhood
group chats lately?
Oh, I had to put it on mute
to avoid spoilers to Celebrity Cobbler.
Everyone's sad that
Culturefest is cancelled.
Is it even a year if it doesn't happen?
You know what?
I can do it.
I could totally pull this off.
That's the positive affirmations
I'm talking about, man.
Stephanie, are you kidding me?
Of course. All right.
I appreciate this deal.
Thank you so much. All right. Bye.
Just locked in the legion for free.
Me and Hudson will have to
do their books for a year,
but that's the barter life, baby!
That's huge. And Sebastian
confirmed he will donate
tables, chairs, and two
pallets of dish soap?
Are you sure he actually has them?
I asked him to send photos.
Looked like he was in a bunker.
- I did not ask questions.
- Yeah.
How's the event post doing, Khia?
Great. A lot of people want booths.
Ah, it's all coming together.
I'm proud of me. No!
I'm proud of us.
Okay. How about this as the theme?
Togetherness.
- It's okay.
- Kind of corny.
I like it.
Mm.
Together in togetherness!
Andrew!
- Ba, you look so good.
- Rock and roll.
Ma, did you bring any spring rolls?
There's two coolers full in the car.
But those are for our Tet
celebration at home later.
I made cà ri gà for my booth.
Actually, some others
also made curry chicken.
Vietnamese style?
You know what, Ma? You do you.
I was going to.
Where's Leo? I promised I'd
helped him with his phrases.
Oh, uh, he's around.
Ba, no swear words.
Okay. What are you doing?
Why are you being so weird?
I found a receipt for
a horse carriage ride.
Super problematic for horses.
- Okay.
- But super romantic.
I think Nikhil's going to propose.
What? That's amazing!
No! I was planning to
propose on Valentine's Day.
Aw! Since when are you romantic?
- Since I fell in love, stupid.
- You're stupid.
You're stupid. Stop it.
I can't let him beat me to it.
Why are you two so competitive?
I'm still traumatized
from our last games night.
Because it's our thing and it's hot.
Okay. I love love, but that's gross.
- You're gross.
- You're gross.
Stop. Just find out when
he's planning on asking me,
and then I can ask him first.
Yeah. Okay.
- Say it like you mean it!
- Ow! Okay!
So, I saw an open
browser on Carol's laptop
for engagement rings for men.
For me.
Oh, my God. Wow! That's so great!
I didn't know you two were there yet.
She can't propose to
me. I have to do it.
Isn't that a bit outdated?
Oh, no, no, no. It's not that. It
I'm already planning to
propose on Valentine's Day.
- Oh.
- Yeah. Horse carriage ride,
flowers, the whole thing.
Right, right, and you
have to beat her to it
so she doesn't steal your thunder.
- Exactly.
- Hmm.
Yeah. Carol's competitive
about everything,
especially sex.
That's a team sport, but, uh I see you.
It's the principle of it, right?
- Yeah.
- I'll find out when she's planning to do it.
Ah. You're the best.
Shh! Shh! Shh!
OMG. They both want to
propose on Valentine's Day?
It's so cliché and exciting!
Does this mean we'll be more related?
Probably, but not in a gross way.
Family.
Yeah!
- Chill.
- Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
Be cool.
Ow!
Oh, those are some lovely aromatics.
Oh. Thank you.
And, uh, what do you got over there?
Oh, I got some, uh, curry chicken.
Oh.
- Is that chicken curry, Linh?
- Yes.
There's a Vietnamese curry chicken?
- The best kind.
- Hmm. Looks like we all brought chicken curry.
Oh, but no, no, no, no, no,
no. I brought curry chicken.
That's the way you're
supposed to say it.
Is that right?
Mm-hmm, and it's not just a dish.
It's a lifestyle.
No. Seriously, it takes a long time
to marinate the meat.
Next-level stuff, so
You're saying that to
an Indian woman. Yeah.
I got the OG chicken curry.
So many spices blended
together perfectly,
it'll make your taste buds spin.
Oh, might be OG,
but we perfected it, so
Please, don't fight.
They both look and smell terrible.
Mine's better.
Well, it looks like we have ourselves
a chicken curry competition.
No, a curry chicken competition.
You two don't stand a chance.
Move.
Why?
Whoa! Smells amazing.
- What's going on?
- It's a chicken curry showdown!
- Curry chicken!
- Son, I'm about to destroy
- your wife and best friend.
- Why so violent?
Did you know they were
making the same thing?
I didn't think it'd be a problem.
It's not, because my
curry's going to put theirs
- to shame.
- Oh, yeah? Try me.
Yeah. You're going down.
- You're going down.
- You're going down down.
No. You're going to go way down.
- Babe, togetherness.
- You're going so down.
Yeah. These meat and
potatoes together in this pot.
Well, the spices together in this pot.
Hey, everyone.
I just want to thank you so
much for all of your hard work.
By the end of this,
we are going to feel
more together than ever,
and that is the Pham guarantee.
Okay. Time for the magic.
Doors to Culturefest officially
opens in three, two, one.
Here's Bobby!
Bob. I thought you washed
your hands of Culturefest.
I never wash my hands.
Just came by to see your work.
You need permits for all of this.
- Oh, do I?
- Mm-hmm.
Got them! Respect to Barb.
It's my classic
Culturefest configuration.
I see my influence
weighs heavy around here.
Yeah. That's just what you
do with tables and chairs.
Well, IP infringement aside,
I don't see a lot of togetherness.
Mostly just conflicting curry smells.
The togetherness is going
to be coming together.
- Mm.
- Why don't you just, uh,
enjoy yourself, Bob?
That's what today is all about.
Oh. I certainly will enjoy myself.
I cannot believe Bob
had the nerve to show up.
He just came to stir up trouble.
Don't let him get under your skin.
Speaking of stirring, can you help out?
Nikhil's too distracted!
Babe, no.
Please cool it with the competitiveness.
Set the example!
The example of failure?
Hey, buddy.
Some numpty's trying to
hook up their deep fryer
for the curry cook-off,
and I'm no HVAC narc,
but I don't think that's up to code.
Seriously?
I loves a curry cook-off!
Try mine. Try mine. It's
You need to have it
with the naan, though.
This isn't a curry cook-off!
So, next Saturday,
how about we go to the observatory
for the meteor shower?
Eh. I was thinking,
Saturday, we would take a
day trip to Bimini Cliffs.
Where we had our first date?
Oh, did we? Weird.
Fun fact: The term "curry"
was coined by the British
as a blanket term for Indian cuisine.
Not sure how that's fun exactly,
but my curry chicken
was voted by my granny
as second best next to hers!
Oh, and if you knew Granny June,
you know how impressive that is.
Oh, I do know Granny June,
and I'm still not that impressed.
Well, looks like we've got,
uh, quite the competition.
How you going to decide who wins?
- I win.
- No. No. We just
We haven't figured that part out yet.
Yeah. We're really
focused on the trash talk.
Well, allow me to be of service.
No, no. Uh-uh-uh.
What? You just always
have a spoon on you?
I refuse to lick ice cream off a cone.
Okay. Well, you shouldn't even be here,
- so can you please leave?
- Okay. I'll Mark you three down
as not participating.
I'm going to go try the
Pakistani chicken curry.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Curry chicken, and Bob, how
about you try some of mine?
- Sure.
- Right? Mannix, let's let's
Yeah.
There you go.
Wow. That has quite a kick to it.
The secret ingredient
is four different peppers.
Well, if you're looking
for flavour and not flames,
you should try mine.
It's got fresh curry leaves,
known to help with
eyesight and dysentery.
There is a lot of spices.
Nine, to be exact.
Overcompensating. Come here.
I always made this for my children.
My son would even eat the bones!
Oh, come on, Linh!
It's true!
Oh. Children eat this?
It's just lemongrass and shallots.
- It's, uh, pretty intense, huh?
- Yup.
- Uh, okay.
- It's mine, right?
- I got a handful
- So, uh, how how are you?
Hey! Whoa! Hey! No, no, no, no, no.
Mannix, you can't be
fraternizing with the enemy!
Khia, back to the booth.
At least one thing we agree on.
I know, right?
- Chicken curry!
- Curry chicken!
- Chicken curry!
- Curry chicken!
- Chicken curry!
- Curry chicken!
Hey. Now, it's time
for our performances.
Hey? Hey?
- They did not
- No.
Hello!
Tell your wife about the time
you ate the bones in my curry!
Ma, I was choking!
Because you ate them, right?
- Yes.
- Whatever!
Anyway, up first,
we got a little dude who's been
hard at work rep-ing Vietnam:
The one, the only Leo Pham.
Whoo!
- Go, Leo!
- Xin chào!
These are some of my
favourite Vietnamese things,
like Tet, which is actually today.
It's our new years',
when the whole family comes together.
We play games and eat 'til we explode!
There are many important people
in Vietnamese culture,
but my favourite Vietnamese hero is
American movie star Chuck Norris!
What?
- Uh-oh.
- Is that a joke?
On Wikipedia, it says
he's born in the USA,
but in an interview, he says
he was reborn in Vietnam.
- You showed him those movies?
- Ha!
He wanted to learn about the war.
I don't like to talk about it.
Why didn't you show him something
that wasn't a white saviour movie?
- There aren't any.
- Okay.
And then Chuck Norris
secured the capital
through martial arts!
Give it up for Leo Pham, everyone!
- But I'm not done yet.
- Your ong noi needs to talk to you.
Uh up next,
we have Scotland.
I'm only, uh, 1/16th Scottish,
uh, but I think you will all
agree it's the right 1/16th.
Baby ♪
So, this seems to all be going well.
No! People aren't honouring
my theme of togetherness.
Hey, if you want to propose first,
get up on stage and do it now,
in front of everyone in Rockridge!
What? Dude, I don't know these people.
Oh, man. Bob's boss is here.
Hey, it's me, Bob Boberts,
Rockridge community
development coordinator.
- What the
- Culturefest has always been
near and dear to my heart,
so I just want to take a moment to thank
all the community volunteers
who made this happen.
Now, as your judge,
I am very excited to announce the winner
of today's curry cook-off.
Uh, but first, can I
get a glass of milk?
Anybody?
Ah. Now, the winner
of the first annual Bob Boberts
chicken curry competition
Actually, Robin, do you want to
come up here on stage for this?
It's Saturday.
- I'm off the clock.
- Such a free spirit.
Okay. And the winner is
No! There's no winner!
Who's wins, man?
See, Andrew, if you
knew how to run an event,
you'd know it's for the people.
That's how you do
togetherness: Through warfare.
Not on my watch.
Who wins? Who wins?
Who wins? Who wins? Who wins? Who wins?
Carol! Carol, come on up here.
Everyone, everyone, my sister Carol
has a special question she
wants to ask a special someone.
Round of applause for Carol, everybody!
- What are you doing?
- Letting us both win.
Okay. Hi.
Yeah. My special question
to my special someone, huh?
Oh, please don't want to win this bad.
Uh, Andrew!
So, how does it feel to
have put all this together?
Uh, excuse me. He assisted.
Yeah, right, buddy. My
brother tirelessly worked
With the help of the community
To make sure that Culturefest
was a very special day.
So?
Uh well, I just want you to know
that I love this community so much
and seeing all of you here.
You know, it's like making curry
with chicken as your protein.
All of the different flavours
and techniques we bring to life
show us that we're actually
more alike than different,
and that's beautiful.
To me, you all win.
- Yeah, Andrew Pham!
- Babe, I love you!
That's my husband! That's my husband!
Gee. Okay. Tears of joy.
Let's keep this party going.
Oh, it looks like we have a redo, right?
Leo, Dad.
Give it up for my boy, Leo Pham!
Yeah, Leo!
First off, I just want to say,
Chuck Norris is not Vietnamese.
- Whoo!
- Yes.
Though it's hard for me
to talk about Vietnam,
it makes me proud these kid
want to learn about their culture.
It's a great gift.
My ong noi taught me a song
he used to sing with my dad
when he was little.
Come on. Come.
Okay.
Yeah! Rock and roll!
Maybe competing was silly.
Yeah. Of course we
think ours is the best.
- It connects us to home.
- And we can be proud of that
without having to take
away from anyone else.
Yeah. Three-way tie?
Yes.
Nah, man. I still need
to know who Bob picked.
Where is that man? Bob?
I'll be right back, Mannix. Bob!
- Hi!
- Hi.
So, I remember how much you
used to like my mom's cooking.
Saved you some.
Thanks. I, uh, saved you some, too.
Cool. Thanks.
So, do you, uh, maybe want to
Khia, come to help Ba Noi!
- I should
- Yeah. Yeah.
Bye.
Andrew?
Oh, hey, Robin. Thanks for coming.
- I hope you had a good time.
- Just to be clear,
Bob had absolutely nothing to
do with organizing this, did he?
No. No, he didn't.
Huh.
I hate I hate wasting food.
Oh, yeah. Great. Yes.
Bob! You liked my
curry, Bob, right? Bob!
Who won, Bob? Bob!
I would say that today
was a huge success,
and sorry for going into beast mode.
It's okay. I just let
Bob get under my skin,
but what's important is that
everyone had a good time.
Togetherness.
Oh, babe. Look!
Oh, oh, oh.
Yes! Ah!
You both won!
Rock and roll!