Search Party (2016) s02e09 Episode Script
Frenzy
1 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
['60S POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
So, April [CHUCKLES.]
um, I just wanted to start by saying that it seems like somewhere down the road, there's been some sort of misunderstanding.
Yeah.
It appears to us that it is your opinion that we did something that we just didn't do.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And after putting together the implications of your threats to Drew, April, do you think we killed someone? - Because - Yeah.
- It's like, "What?!" - [ALL CHUCKLE.]
Wait.
Are you guys saying you didn't kill a man in cold blood? - No! No.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Mm, no.
- Why would we? - That's so weird.
- Oh, my God.
You guys, I'm so sorry.
This makes me look so crazy.
You should've just called and told me that.
I wouldn't have had us all meet here so early in the day.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- This is so fun, April! I'm so glad we got to catch up with you, but I think we're done, so maybe we should just leave, you guys.
- Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
- But it was so good to see you.
- It was great to see you.
- Enjoy your breakfast.
Or did you guys have to meet me here because you killed a man named Keith Powell? Okay.
So that's, I think, where the misunderstanding lies, - because - No.
It's not a misunderstanding when you overhear your neighbors screaming, "We killed a man, - and now he's dead!" - Oh.
Shh.
- "He's dead! He's dead!" - Hey! Whoa! - Hey! Shh! - No, she's Oh, my God! That was my play.
- Yeah.
- April, I wrote a play, and we were doing a reading of it.
Did you like it, April? I hope you Shut up, Portia.
I know this wasn't a play.
- I'm not stupid.
- You know what, even if what you thought you heard was true, I mean, you don't even have any proof, so it doesn't matter.
Like, this is a waste of our time.
- and we should go.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- We're gonna bounce out of here, - and good luck with your - Thank you.
A Talkgirl.
I had a Talkgirl.
[BUTTON CLICKS.]
DORY: Well, it's not like I meant to kill him! - DREW: But you did! We all did! - Okay.
Now do I have your attention? What do you want? I don't know.
Money, tons of it.
How much? I mean, I figure between the four of you, you could probably scrape together $60,000.
- What?! - Absolutely not.
I know we look expensive, but that is way out of our range.
- Yeah.
- So, we get you the money, we give you the money, and you just give us the tape? Yeah.
But don't try anything.
I'll just call the police.
And how do we know that there aren't digital copies - of that tape? - What? - Digital what? - Like, is it backed up? You mean, like, does it rewind? 'Cause, yeah, it rewinds.
It fast-forwards.
I can play it in slow motion.
No.
April, are there copies? Are there copies of the tape? No.
But I'm going to figure out how to do that.
Well, that's good.
That's good.
Yeah.
You should - Whoa! Hey! Hey! No! No! No! - [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Hey! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You have 48 hours to get me my money! Why are you doing this to us? Because I don't like how you guys carry yourselves.
And I don't think you should kill people.
Obedear, the sky is low [BUZZER.]
APHRODITE: When I met Fat Franky, I was little and stupid and living on the streets, like, worst, worst life, and then he came along, and he was rich with big shoulders, and so I thought, "Okay.
Here's my chance.
" But then I start to see, like, little signs that he's, like, doing bad things.
I saw some body parts here and there.
Anyway, I'm so certain that he killed this man that you're talking about.
He kill everyone.
I think he's still working at his bus company.
It's called, um, International Bus Exchange.
I'm sorry.
I just realized I went to high school with that guard, and I just got very distracted.
Could you repeat that? When I met Fat Franky, I was little and stupid and living on the streets, like, the worst, worst life.
- [TRAIN WHEELS CLANKING LOUDLY.]
- DREW: We're so screwed, okay? There's no way we're going to get $60,000 in two days.
If we could get $60,000 in two days, I would get $60,000 every two days! - Same! - Yes.
Of course.
I don't know.
But I don't know.
Let's just think about it for a second.
Maybe she would be into some kind of, like, payment plan or something.
- It's so loud, I can't hear! - We're just complaining - about needing money, Porsh.
- That's the point, Portia! - What about your mom? - What? Your mom! I don't have a mom anymore, remember? - I have banished her! - Okay, Elliott.
I'm sorry, but what about you? Didn't your grandma just die? No! She won't die! We keep waiting for her to die, and she won't die! Guys, like, I really can't hear! It's really loud! God damn it, Dory.
Huh? Why didn't you just take the reward money from Chantal's family when you had the chance? - You know I couldn't! - Well, I hate this! I hate this, okay? I just I'm halfway to thinking - we should just kill April! - Look, she's insane, all right? So no one's gonna believe her if she doesn't have that evidence, so all we got to do is, we got to get that tape, - and then we'll be done with it.
- What do you want to do, Dory? What, do you want to break into her apartment, and then some of us follow her around and make sure she doesn't come back? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Okay.
Should we do that? I feel like that's what we should do.
Okay.
Fine.
We'll see how it goes.
- We'll see.
- Okay.
Okay.
Portia and I will do the easier thing.
Yeah.
All right.
Do we all feel good about that? - Yeah! Yeah! - All right.
- That's what we're going to do! - I feel fine! Guys, focus, okay?! We need to figure out what we're going to do about April! - Oh, my God.
You guys.
- [KITTENS MEOWING.]
Aw.
This one is obsessed with me.
Oh.
Dory, will you take a pic? I want to send it to Elijah.
I think we should all be concentrating on the door, okay? I don't want to miss her.
We've been here forever, okay? I can't keep pretending like I'm interested in buying the entire litter.
She normally leaves in the afternoon, so it should be any minute.
Hey, guys.
Still deciding? Uh, yeah.
It's just a lot of responsibility, so I know.
I wish we could split them up, but that would be inhumane.
- Uh-huh.
- But I like to think of it like six cats is six times the responsibility, but, oh, the chorus of purrs.
- Oh, I love that! - That's so true, Kennifer, but I think my wife and I need to keep consulting.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I think we're gonna need - 10 about 10 more minutes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Kennifer.
Oh.
There she is! - Get down! - Okay.
Let's let her - get, like, a block down.
- Yes.
[KITTEN MEOWS.]
Okay.
Now.
Let's go.
- Here we go.
- All right.
Put the cats back.
- Put the cats back.
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Come on.
Come on.
- Come on.
Come on.
Okay.
- I got to go.
JOY: Bingo.
There he is.
Fat Franky.
Damn.
That's a big boy.
All right.
Where you taking me? You just call on me, brother When you need a hand We all need somebody to lean on I just might have a problem that you'd understand She actually has a good voice.
We all need somebody to lean on Honestly, I have never been more afraid for my own life.
Lean on me Oh, God.
- Okay.
- Holy shit.
- Hey, just don't look down, Dory.
- I already am, okay? - Okay, all right, well, don't.
- Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
- It's locked.
- Oh, shit.
Wait, what are you doing? Okay.
Whew! - Wow.
- Yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah, that worked.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Hey.
Maybe Maybe we shouldn't do this.
Wait, what? Oh.
- Oh, my God.
It smells awful.
- Oh, my God.
Wow.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
She's mentally ill.
Sing with me! You just call on me, brother When you need a hand Is this the only song she knows? She just keeps singing the same song over and over.
[CACKLING WILDLY.]
I mean, would she label it? Should we just put all these in a trash bag and run? No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Just look for a pink label, okay? It had a hot pink label.
It matches the Talkgirl, so just look for that.
Why are there so many tapes? Why is there so much crap everywhere? This apartment is filthy.
- Drew.
- What? Just, like, don't move for a second.
- Why? What's up? - It's okay.
You just have, like, a little bug on you or something.
What? A bug? No.
No.
No.
Oh, no.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! [BOTH SCREAMING.]
- Ugh! Yeah.
- Ohh! I hate it here! I know.
I know.
Let's just focus on finding the tape, and then we'll get the hell out of here, okay? - Ohh.
- It's on my finger, too.
[GIGGLING.]
Jesus Christ.
Why is there so much cat food? I don't see a cat anywhere.
Does she just eat cat food? I-I found where she keeps all her pink stuff.
- Excuse me! Hi! - Hi.
Can I help you? APRIL: This is so, so, so cute.
Do you have any other patterns in the back? Everything's on the rack.
There's no back.
Oh, okay.
Thank you for clearing that up.
Will you let management know that I absolutely love this place? - Hey.
What's your name? - Sandy.
Sandy? You're doing an incredible job, Sandy.
Thank you so much.
Can I tip you? She's, like, crazy, but she's happy crazy.
I can't believe this person has power over us.
[GIGGLES.]
[SMOOCHES.]
Drew, come in here! Drew! - Did you find it? - No, but I found a safe.
Oh, God.
This is definitely it.
FRANKY: Look at all that money.
Isn't that just beautiful? Yeah.
It's got good friction.
You earned it.
Yeah.
It's me.
Listen, I'm going to pick you up in a few minutes, all right? I'm on my way, all right? I mean, she's not even looking at what she's getting.
She's just, like, stacking clothes over her arm.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Not to get us distracted, but these mannequins look exactly like us, right? Oh, my God.
They're, like, slightly hotter versions of us.
Should we take a picture? Yeah! We have to.
Okay.
Now, do a peace sign.
Do a peace sign.
- Want me to take it for you? - Oh, my God! April! - What are you doing here? - [LAUGHS.]
We're here because we love this place! Do you love this place? [LAUGHS.]
This happens all the time.
I'm not April.
- I'm sorry? - Huh? I'm June.
We're twins, identical twins.
We get confused all the time.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh! For crying out loud, I could be pregnant for all you know, - baby killer! - I-I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't you watch where you're going, liberal-ass piece of shit? - I'm sorry.
I said, "I'm sorry.
" - Oh.
"I'm sorry"? Look at this shit! Now I have to go home and change my shirt! I can't be walking around looking like a maniac, now, can I? Look, this is us when we met our dad for the first time.
Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Okay.
She's not picking up.
Call Drew.
I don't have Drew's number.
What? That's insane.
You're so stupid.
People always used to say, "June, you're the happy one, and, April, you're the wrathful, vindictive, evil one.
" [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
[CACKLES.]
Oh, sometimes, I don't even know what I'm laughing about.
[CACKLES.]
I used to do this all the time in junior high to steal my buddy's books.
Are you trying to impress me? [CHUCKLES.]
Shut up.
Keep that away from me.
Ugh.
Oh! Nothing works! Nothing is good! Okay.
I think I heard it.
- Write down 23.
- I'll remember.
Oh.
Hey.
Hear about that maintenance increase? - Can't get a break, right? - Uh, yeah.
I did, and I will not be paying that.
Maybe I like the building broken.
Uh, yeah.
[LOCK CLICKING.]
- Did you hear that? - Shh.
I'm trying to listen.
- No.
No.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I think I think it's her.
No.
No.
"F" no.
Fine.
[SIGHS.]
Fuck you.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATING.]
Dory, pick up! She's a twin! April is a twin, and we have followed the wrong twin.
We do not know where April is, and you need to get out of the apartment right now.
I repeat, this is a twin-based emergency.
- Leave now! - Aah! [CELLPHONE VIBRATING.]
Gotcha! Ha, ha! [SINGSONG VOICE.]
Dory, I found your phone.
Ha! [BOTH SCREAMING.]
[CLATTER.]
[CAT MEOWS.]
- Excuse me? - [GASPS.]
Oh.
Oh, wait.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Oh, shit.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
[GASPING.]
You come into my home, you try to break into my safe? This is my home! - Aah! Okay! Okay! - Stop! - April! - Okay! Stop! And let's not forget that you rejected me, Drew, - and that hurt my feelings! - I'm very sorry about that.
And then you bring your shrimp-ass girlfriend in here and invade my space? You know what? I want more money.
April.
April.
Listen, we're sorry.
- We're really sorry.
- I want $100,000! - No! - And I want it by tomorrow, or I am calling the cops, and I'm telling them that you guys murdered someone! - April, please.
- And you're going to spend the rest of your lives in jail.
And I'll do it.
I've got nothing to lose! DREW: April - Okay! - Okay! Okay! God! Oh, please.
Just listen.
- We're sorry.
- Shut up.
Okay! Hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! - We'll have your money.
- What? - We'll have your money.
- Get out of my house! God damn it.
God damn it.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Oh, God.
[GASPING.]
Okay.
That's what you're going to do.
That's what you're going to do.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
This is what you're going to do.
This is what you're going to do.
Okay.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Okay.
Okay.
[SOBBING.]
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
They'll find me here.
They'll find me here, and then, he's there.
Okay.
[SOBBING.]
Here we go.
Go.
Go.
Go.
[PANTING.]
Ohh! [SCREAMING, SOBBING.]
Oh, God! - Can I say something messed up? - Mm-hmm.
I truly think Dory is going to hell.
There's no such thing, um, but if there is a hell, - we're all going, Portia.
- No, just Dory.
God knows what happened.
He's fair.
He clocked that we were tricked.
Yeah.
Drew's going to hell, too, for being the straight white man that dealt the final blow.
All I ever did was be a good friend.
And I shouldn't have been.
Time is a leap out from my love - [WATER RUNNING.]
- It's a rose that grows From a seed that I've spit out What if we just ran away? I mean, I'm looking at flights to Acapulco, and and they're so cheap.
I mean, there's one that leaves at 1:00 a.
m.
from LaGuardia.
Hey, what'd you say? I was just suggesting we leave the country.
I, um, haven't thought about that.
I don't know what to do.
And I left my phone charger at the apartment, and there's no way I'm ever going back there.
I mean, Drew, you might have to live in this hotel forever, you know? - Yeah.
- And I can't believe she just said, "$100,000.
" It's like, she doesn't even know what that means.
But because she said it, now we have to do it? I can't be the reason that all the people I care about most in this world are going to go to jail.
Tell me everything's going to be okay.
- I love you, Dory.
- I love you, too.
I love you.
I love you.
- I love you.
- I love you.
I love you so much.
I love you.
I know that I've found The only one, the only love for me Too gone and too proud For any love or anyone again I wanna run in the light that pulls you under Are you really ever too gone? I wanna run in the light that pulls you under
['60S POP MUSIC PLAYING.]
So, April [CHUCKLES.]
um, I just wanted to start by saying that it seems like somewhere down the road, there's been some sort of misunderstanding.
Yeah.
It appears to us that it is your opinion that we did something that we just didn't do.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And after putting together the implications of your threats to Drew, April, do you think we killed someone? - Because - Yeah.
- It's like, "What?!" - [ALL CHUCKLE.]
Wait.
Are you guys saying you didn't kill a man in cold blood? - No! No.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Mm, no.
- Why would we? - That's so weird.
- Oh, my God.
You guys, I'm so sorry.
This makes me look so crazy.
You should've just called and told me that.
I wouldn't have had us all meet here so early in the day.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- This is so fun, April! I'm so glad we got to catch up with you, but I think we're done, so maybe we should just leave, you guys.
- Yeah.
Totally.
Yeah.
- But it was so good to see you.
- It was great to see you.
- Enjoy your breakfast.
Or did you guys have to meet me here because you killed a man named Keith Powell? Okay.
So that's, I think, where the misunderstanding lies, - because - No.
It's not a misunderstanding when you overhear your neighbors screaming, "We killed a man, - and now he's dead!" - Oh.
Shh.
- "He's dead! He's dead!" - Hey! Whoa! - Hey! Shh! - No, she's Oh, my God! That was my play.
- Yeah.
- April, I wrote a play, and we were doing a reading of it.
Did you like it, April? I hope you Shut up, Portia.
I know this wasn't a play.
- I'm not stupid.
- You know what, even if what you thought you heard was true, I mean, you don't even have any proof, so it doesn't matter.
Like, this is a waste of our time.
- and we should go.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- We're gonna bounce out of here, - and good luck with your - Thank you.
A Talkgirl.
I had a Talkgirl.
[BUTTON CLICKS.]
DORY: Well, it's not like I meant to kill him! - DREW: But you did! We all did! - Okay.
Now do I have your attention? What do you want? I don't know.
Money, tons of it.
How much? I mean, I figure between the four of you, you could probably scrape together $60,000.
- What?! - Absolutely not.
I know we look expensive, but that is way out of our range.
- Yeah.
- So, we get you the money, we give you the money, and you just give us the tape? Yeah.
But don't try anything.
I'll just call the police.
And how do we know that there aren't digital copies - of that tape? - What? - Digital what? - Like, is it backed up? You mean, like, does it rewind? 'Cause, yeah, it rewinds.
It fast-forwards.
I can play it in slow motion.
No.
April, are there copies? Are there copies of the tape? No.
But I'm going to figure out how to do that.
Well, that's good.
That's good.
Yeah.
You should - Whoa! Hey! Hey! No! No! No! - [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
Hey! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! You have 48 hours to get me my money! Why are you doing this to us? Because I don't like how you guys carry yourselves.
And I don't think you should kill people.
Obedear, the sky is low [BUZZER.]
APHRODITE: When I met Fat Franky, I was little and stupid and living on the streets, like, worst, worst life, and then he came along, and he was rich with big shoulders, and so I thought, "Okay.
Here's my chance.
" But then I start to see, like, little signs that he's, like, doing bad things.
I saw some body parts here and there.
Anyway, I'm so certain that he killed this man that you're talking about.
He kill everyone.
I think he's still working at his bus company.
It's called, um, International Bus Exchange.
I'm sorry.
I just realized I went to high school with that guard, and I just got very distracted.
Could you repeat that? When I met Fat Franky, I was little and stupid and living on the streets, like, the worst, worst life.
- [TRAIN WHEELS CLANKING LOUDLY.]
- DREW: We're so screwed, okay? There's no way we're going to get $60,000 in two days.
If we could get $60,000 in two days, I would get $60,000 every two days! - Same! - Yes.
Of course.
I don't know.
But I don't know.
Let's just think about it for a second.
Maybe she would be into some kind of, like, payment plan or something.
- It's so loud, I can't hear! - We're just complaining - about needing money, Porsh.
- That's the point, Portia! - What about your mom? - What? Your mom! I don't have a mom anymore, remember? - I have banished her! - Okay, Elliott.
I'm sorry, but what about you? Didn't your grandma just die? No! She won't die! We keep waiting for her to die, and she won't die! Guys, like, I really can't hear! It's really loud! God damn it, Dory.
Huh? Why didn't you just take the reward money from Chantal's family when you had the chance? - You know I couldn't! - Well, I hate this! I hate this, okay? I just I'm halfway to thinking - we should just kill April! - Look, she's insane, all right? So no one's gonna believe her if she doesn't have that evidence, so all we got to do is, we got to get that tape, - and then we'll be done with it.
- What do you want to do, Dory? What, do you want to break into her apartment, and then some of us follow her around and make sure she doesn't come back? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Okay.
Should we do that? I feel like that's what we should do.
Okay.
Fine.
We'll see how it goes.
- We'll see.
- Okay.
Okay.
Portia and I will do the easier thing.
Yeah.
All right.
Do we all feel good about that? - Yeah! Yeah! - All right.
- That's what we're going to do! - I feel fine! Guys, focus, okay?! We need to figure out what we're going to do about April! - Oh, my God.
You guys.
- [KITTENS MEOWING.]
Aw.
This one is obsessed with me.
Oh.
Dory, will you take a pic? I want to send it to Elijah.
I think we should all be concentrating on the door, okay? I don't want to miss her.
We've been here forever, okay? I can't keep pretending like I'm interested in buying the entire litter.
She normally leaves in the afternoon, so it should be any minute.
Hey, guys.
Still deciding? Uh, yeah.
It's just a lot of responsibility, so I know.
I wish we could split them up, but that would be inhumane.
- Uh-huh.
- But I like to think of it like six cats is six times the responsibility, but, oh, the chorus of purrs.
- Oh, I love that! - That's so true, Kennifer, but I think my wife and I need to keep consulting.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
I think we're gonna need - 10 about 10 more minutes.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- Thank you, Kennifer.
Oh.
There she is! - Get down! - Okay.
Let's let her - get, like, a block down.
- Yes.
[KITTEN MEOWS.]
Okay.
Now.
Let's go.
- Here we go.
- All right.
Put the cats back.
- Put the cats back.
- Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
- Bye.
- Come on.
Come on.
- Come on.
Come on.
Okay.
- I got to go.
JOY: Bingo.
There he is.
Fat Franky.
Damn.
That's a big boy.
All right.
Where you taking me? You just call on me, brother When you need a hand We all need somebody to lean on I just might have a problem that you'd understand She actually has a good voice.
We all need somebody to lean on Honestly, I have never been more afraid for my own life.
Lean on me Oh, God.
- Okay.
- Holy shit.
- Hey, just don't look down, Dory.
- I already am, okay? - Okay, all right, well, don't.
- Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
- It's locked.
- Oh, shit.
Wait, what are you doing? Okay.
Whew! - Wow.
- Yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah, that worked.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Hey.
Maybe Maybe we shouldn't do this.
Wait, what? Oh.
- Oh, my God.
It smells awful.
- Oh, my God.
Wow.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
She's mentally ill.
Sing with me! You just call on me, brother When you need a hand Is this the only song she knows? She just keeps singing the same song over and over.
[CACKLING WILDLY.]
I mean, would she label it? Should we just put all these in a trash bag and run? No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Just look for a pink label, okay? It had a hot pink label.
It matches the Talkgirl, so just look for that.
Why are there so many tapes? Why is there so much crap everywhere? This apartment is filthy.
- Drew.
- What? Just, like, don't move for a second.
- Why? What's up? - It's okay.
You just have, like, a little bug on you or something.
What? A bug? No.
No.
No.
Oh, no.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! [BOTH SCREAMING.]
- Ugh! Yeah.
- Ohh! I hate it here! I know.
I know.
Let's just focus on finding the tape, and then we'll get the hell out of here, okay? - Ohh.
- It's on my finger, too.
[GIGGLING.]
Jesus Christ.
Why is there so much cat food? I don't see a cat anywhere.
Does she just eat cat food? I-I found where she keeps all her pink stuff.
- Excuse me! Hi! - Hi.
Can I help you? APRIL: This is so, so, so cute.
Do you have any other patterns in the back? Everything's on the rack.
There's no back.
Oh, okay.
Thank you for clearing that up.
Will you let management know that I absolutely love this place? - Hey.
What's your name? - Sandy.
Sandy? You're doing an incredible job, Sandy.
Thank you so much.
Can I tip you? She's, like, crazy, but she's happy crazy.
I can't believe this person has power over us.
[GIGGLES.]
[SMOOCHES.]
Drew, come in here! Drew! - Did you find it? - No, but I found a safe.
Oh, God.
This is definitely it.
FRANKY: Look at all that money.
Isn't that just beautiful? Yeah.
It's got good friction.
You earned it.
Yeah.
It's me.
Listen, I'm going to pick you up in a few minutes, all right? I'm on my way, all right? I mean, she's not even looking at what she's getting.
She's just, like, stacking clothes over her arm.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Not to get us distracted, but these mannequins look exactly like us, right? Oh, my God.
They're, like, slightly hotter versions of us.
Should we take a picture? Yeah! We have to.
Okay.
Now, do a peace sign.
Do a peace sign.
- Want me to take it for you? - Oh, my God! April! - What are you doing here? - [LAUGHS.]
We're here because we love this place! Do you love this place? [LAUGHS.]
This happens all the time.
I'm not April.
- I'm sorry? - Huh? I'm June.
We're twins, identical twins.
We get confused all the time.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh! For crying out loud, I could be pregnant for all you know, - baby killer! - I-I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't you watch where you're going, liberal-ass piece of shit? - I'm sorry.
I said, "I'm sorry.
" - Oh.
"I'm sorry"? Look at this shit! Now I have to go home and change my shirt! I can't be walking around looking like a maniac, now, can I? Look, this is us when we met our dad for the first time.
Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Pick up! Okay.
She's not picking up.
Call Drew.
I don't have Drew's number.
What? That's insane.
You're so stupid.
People always used to say, "June, you're the happy one, and, April, you're the wrathful, vindictive, evil one.
" [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY.]
[CACKLES.]
Oh, sometimes, I don't even know what I'm laughing about.
[CACKLES.]
I used to do this all the time in junior high to steal my buddy's books.
Are you trying to impress me? [CHUCKLES.]
Shut up.
Keep that away from me.
Ugh.
Oh! Nothing works! Nothing is good! Okay.
I think I heard it.
- Write down 23.
- I'll remember.
Oh.
Hey.
Hear about that maintenance increase? - Can't get a break, right? - Uh, yeah.
I did, and I will not be paying that.
Maybe I like the building broken.
Uh, yeah.
[LOCK CLICKING.]
- Did you hear that? - Shh.
I'm trying to listen.
- No.
No.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I think I think it's her.
No.
No.
"F" no.
Fine.
[SIGHS.]
Fuck you.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATING.]
Dory, pick up! She's a twin! April is a twin, and we have followed the wrong twin.
We do not know where April is, and you need to get out of the apartment right now.
I repeat, this is a twin-based emergency.
- Leave now! - Aah! [CELLPHONE VIBRATING.]
Gotcha! Ha, ha! [SINGSONG VOICE.]
Dory, I found your phone.
Ha! [BOTH SCREAMING.]
[CLATTER.]
[CAT MEOWS.]
- Excuse me? - [GASPS.]
Oh.
Oh, wait.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Oh, shit.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
[GASPING.]
You come into my home, you try to break into my safe? This is my home! - Aah! Okay! Okay! - Stop! - April! - Okay! Stop! And let's not forget that you rejected me, Drew, - and that hurt my feelings! - I'm very sorry about that.
And then you bring your shrimp-ass girlfriend in here and invade my space? You know what? I want more money.
April.
April.
Listen, we're sorry.
- We're really sorry.
- I want $100,000! - No! - And I want it by tomorrow, or I am calling the cops, and I'm telling them that you guys murdered someone! - April, please.
- And you're going to spend the rest of your lives in jail.
And I'll do it.
I've got nothing to lose! DREW: April - Okay! - Okay! Okay! God! Oh, please.
Just listen.
- We're sorry.
- Shut up.
Okay! Hey! Okay! Okay! Okay! - We'll have your money.
- What? - We'll have your money.
- Get out of my house! God damn it.
God damn it.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Oh, God.
[GASPING.]
Okay.
That's what you're going to do.
That's what you're going to do.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
This is what you're going to do.
This is what you're going to do.
Okay.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Okay.
Okay.
[SOBBING.]
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
They'll find me here.
They'll find me here, and then, he's there.
Okay.
[SOBBING.]
Here we go.
Go.
Go.
Go.
[PANTING.]
Ohh! [SCREAMING, SOBBING.]
Oh, God! - Can I say something messed up? - Mm-hmm.
I truly think Dory is going to hell.
There's no such thing, um, but if there is a hell, - we're all going, Portia.
- No, just Dory.
God knows what happened.
He's fair.
He clocked that we were tricked.
Yeah.
Drew's going to hell, too, for being the straight white man that dealt the final blow.
All I ever did was be a good friend.
And I shouldn't have been.
Time is a leap out from my love - [WATER RUNNING.]
- It's a rose that grows From a seed that I've spit out What if we just ran away? I mean, I'm looking at flights to Acapulco, and and they're so cheap.
I mean, there's one that leaves at 1:00 a.
m.
from LaGuardia.
Hey, what'd you say? I was just suggesting we leave the country.
I, um, haven't thought about that.
I don't know what to do.
And I left my phone charger at the apartment, and there's no way I'm ever going back there.
I mean, Drew, you might have to live in this hotel forever, you know? - Yeah.
- And I can't believe she just said, "$100,000.
" It's like, she doesn't even know what that means.
But because she said it, now we have to do it? I can't be the reason that all the people I care about most in this world are going to go to jail.
Tell me everything's going to be okay.
- I love you, Dory.
- I love you, too.
I love you.
I love you.
- I love you.
- I love you.
I love you so much.
I love you.
I know that I've found The only one, the only love for me Too gone and too proud For any love or anyone again I wanna run in the light that pulls you under Are you really ever too gone? I wanna run in the light that pulls you under