Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s02e09 Episode Script

1 [" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another, woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [song ends.]
There.
What do you think? - I love it! - Me next, me next, me next! And make me look exactly like Star.
And I mean exactly.
- Fun sleepover, huh, guys? - Best sleepover ever!! And it's about to get a lot better.
[ticking, alarm rings.]
I never made brownies before.
I used real magic sprinkles.
ALL: Mmm! - So good, right? - This is yeah! [munching.]
Oh, so good.
[jazzy piano music playing.]
Oh, hey, girls.
I was just practicing piano.
- It's jazz.
- Hi, Marco.
Oh, I didn't know you played, Marco.
Yeah! Oh, hey, Jackie.
Didn't see you there.
Whoa! Are you okay? Why don't you come and try one of my brownies? Brownies? These days, I'm sticking with the protein shakes.
It's what keeps these bad boys happy.
Oh, oh, uh-huh.
You got it bad.
Bad? No.
[nervous laughter.]
[stammering.]
It's game time, Marco.
And since you're so good at playing the field, I got a game that would be perfect for you.
ALL: Wow! - It's a box.
- It's called Truth Or Punishment.
It's all about telling your friends - your deepest, darkest secrets.
- And I'm out.
Give me one second.
Marco! [panting.]
Marco, Marco, Marco, Marco.
Why don't you wanna play? I just think maybe some things are better kept secrets.
What are you talking about? Oh, Marco, come play with us.
Yeah, Marco.
Come share a secret.
- He's coming.
- I hate you.
Okay, you're supposed to ask three questions, each one harder than the last, and all we do is answer them.
So VOICE: Deceit and fables, lies and fiction, even with complete conviction.
If truth is absent from these events, all will face the punishments.
- What does that mean? - It means if you lie to him, something bad'll happen.
Pledge an oath of truth.
- Pinky swear to me.
- Okay.
I promise to tell the truth.
- The truth.
- The truth.
- The truth.
- The truth.
The truth.
It's time for Truth Or Punishment.
Oh-ho! Pony, this is already awesome.
The first question: Uh, Pony? Oh, girl, maybe the first one is very easy.
The next one's probably something interesting, like have you ever killed a man.
Mm, actually, that's still easy.
Pony Head, favorite color? - Pony Head color.
Done.
- What? It's a very popular color on Mewni.
Uh, Star, what's your favorite color? Uh, I have to go with yellow.
- [gasps.]
Me, too.
- No way! [both giggling.]
- Jackie? - Neon green.
How about you? - Well, I like red.
- Blood red? Uh no.
Just like, putty red.
- Well, I like black.
- I can see that.
- Oh, black is my second favorite.
- Black is pretty cool.
Someone is lying.
[all laughing.]
- One of us, speak up.
- Okay.
I love pink.
It's my favorite.
- Truth.
- ALL: Pink?! I just hate contributing to gender stereotypes.
Janna likes pink and fights the patriarchy.
[gasps.]
That was awesome! Yeah.
It's, like, we're inside the game.
Second question.
[scoffs.]
Easy.
Everybody loved my brownies.
Okay, yeah, they were very watchamacallit, - very good, right, guys? - Yeah, they were great.
Yep.
Good brownies, Star.
[chuckles.]
Actually, I didn't have a brownie, so I guess I missed out.
Oh, that's too bad, Marco, because they were really good.
- Jackie? - Yeah.
Delicious.
- What?! - What's happening to us? [whinnies.]
Someone is lying.
And this is what lies look like on the inside.
[all screaming.]
Wait.
Who didn't like my brownies? I just ha ha uh No.
I told you, I didn't even have a brownie.
Somebody tell the truth.
Quick.
Okay.
Fine.
Sorry, Star, I lied.
Those were, like, the worst brownies ever.
- Huh? - Poor Star.
Aw.
Okay, I lied, too.
Those brownies tasted like dirt.
Okay, if I had a stomach, I would be very sick inside of the stomach, okay? Well, I loved her brownies.
Okay, okay, I lied.
The brownies were horrible.
Okay, I don't wanna play this game anymore.
Yeah.
I'm sorry I brought this stupid game now.
Come on, let's go to the Bounce Lounge.
- Good idea.
- Let's get outta here.
Nobody leaves until you answer the final question.
Okay, let's do something else.
Okay, guys, we can do this.
Let's just answer and end this.
Go ahead, game.
We're ready.
Who do you have a crush on? Okay, this really cute guy from skate camp last Summer.
He's really nice.
ALL: Aww! See? That was easy.
Okay, now you go, Marco.
No, thanks.
I, uh, I'm good.
It's Star's turn, I'm sure.
I say who goes next, and I say Star goes next.
Oscar Greeson.
Everybody knows that.
Good choice.
Star Fan 13, your crush? Star Butterfly, of course.
Pony Head? If we're really being honest here, and we're gonna be vulnerable, I guess I just have to admit it and say, it's me.
I love myself.
Go, Pony.
Well, I think we all know who I have a crush on.
- Don't we, Marco? - Uh Eighteenth-century poet John Keats.
Ha ha.
Okay, Marco Diaz.
Your crush.
- Oh, Marco, you don't have to - No.
It's it's fine.
Ugh.
Okay.
My crush my crush is on Jackie.
- Jackie Lynn Thomas.
- What? Somebody lied big time! Who lied?! Janna, was it you again? No.
It is John Keats.
Mine is the cute guy from skate camp.
- Ha ha.
I love Star.
- And I love Oscar Greeson.
Marco! I told you, I have a crush on Jackie.
At least, I think I do.
But what does that really mean? I put her on this sort of pedestal.
So do I like the image of her or who she really is? I mean, I like her enough to know that she deserves someone who wants to get to know her, which is definitely me.
Wow! I always get to the truth, but that kudos, really.
But you weren't the one who lied!! [evil laughter.]
Don't worry, guys.
I got this! [music.]
- Star! - On it! Marco! Jump! [evil laughter.]
Stop it! What did we do to deserve this? Lies are a plague.
- A virus.
- A weed.
- And to stop a weed - You must kill the root.
- But it's not really lying.
- Huh? Sometimes, you don't know what you think.
Your head and your heart disagree.
You think you know how you feel about something, but then it changes.
Pony, ask me my favorite color.
You already said it.
It's yellow.
- Ask me again.
- What's your favorite color? Right now? Blue.
Wait! Stop it! - You can't change - Your mind.
Jackie, who do you have a crush on? Uh I don't I don't know anymore.
No! [shrieking.]
You think that everything is black and white, and you can't.
Stop! It's a bunch of different colors, a rainbow of feelings that's always changing.
STAR: Thanks for coming to my sleepover.
Thanks, Star.
- Crazy night, huh? - Yeah.
Crazy.
See ya at school, Marco.
Bye, ladies.
Uh, hey what say we get our Sunday morning breakfast burritos? Nah.
Not today, Star.
I'm gonna go catch up on some Z's.
My room's that way.
[giggles.]
Marco? Marco Diaz! Truth.
Star Butterfly has a crush on [groans.]
Thanks for meeting us here today, Rasticore.
We have a problem with some rogue princesses, as which I hope you can help us with.
[growling.]
Destroy the blonde one, but bring the dark-haired one to me.
[stammering.]
Gimme a break.
- Do you - Working on it.
Oh, Miss Heinous, I cannot wait to recapture our former glory.
It has been a long time since I last ate.
[stomach rumbling.]
Indeed.
Here.
Take this.
The last of our savings.
Oh, you're so generous, Miss Heinous.
Finally, some little food for my mouth.
It's not for food, you fool.
It's for my hair.
Miss Fairol's number 112.
Golden brown.
And bring back a receipt! [laughing.]
"Billie's Ballet Shoe Emporium.
Our discounts are on pointe"? - Marco, why do you even have this? - For your information, they are incredibly comfortable to wear around the house.
What are you guys doing looking through my wallet anyway? Can't a guy get any privacy? - Nope.
- Hey, what's with this weird card? - It's all shaky.
- Let me see that.
Hey, this is the Quest Buy gift card I got for you, Marco.
I can't believe you haven't used it yet.
I got this for our six-month friendship-aversary so you could get yourself something special.
If you don't use it, it'll expire.
Look, Star, it's not that I don't appreciate it, okay? It's just that the last time I went to Quest Buy, I almost got killed.
But, Marco, it expires tonight.
Come on! [whimpers.]
- [sighs.]
Fine.
Let's go.
- Yay.
Perfect! - Back in a bit, Janna.
- Laters.
All right, let's get you the perfect gift! Oh, no.
See anything you like? [gasps.]
Look.
There's a Skullaroid camera.
Takes pictures specifically of ghosts.
Uh, I don't think so.
Oh, how about some spooky haunted garden gnomes? Look at all this stuff.
This is exactly why I do not like shopping.
I can never make up my mind.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy there, Mr.
Picky Pants.
Luckily, we got until midnight.
Tell me where Princess Star and Princess Marco are located.
Uh, loud.
They went to Quest Buy.
The one near the galactic vortex, or the one with the big parking lot? [growling.]
Never mind.
I found them.
Come on.
Why did you even ask if you already knew? Ooh, that is getting a little too close for comfort.
Marco, I don't mean to rush you, but it's been hours.
If you don't find something soon, the card will expire and go to waste.
You know it's hard for me to shop in public.
Plus I'm just not that into Quest Buy gear.
Ugh, Marco! They have literally everything in the universe here.
There has to be something you want.
Please!! Hurry up!! If you're going to rush me, then I'll just buy some piece of junk now, and come back to exchange it later, okay? - What the heck?! - [laughing.]
Oh, yeah.
That.
I may have forgotten to mention that this is a "friends to the end" gift card.
You have to truly, deeply want the item you spend it on, or else it won't work.
Star, why would you give me a card like that?! Because I wanted to get you something you really liked.
Okay.
Fine.
Just, uh, nothing in this section.
Good, 'cause I don't like you either.
I see why you're on sale.
All right, all right.
- Ugh! - How about this? - No, no.
Too gaudy.
- How about one of these? Another keychain? I'll pass.
- Oh.
How about one of these? - Uh, maybe.
Nah.
How about this? Star, you know the neck is gonna stretch out on that.
Ow! All right, all right! I'm sorry, but I really can't decide under this kind of pressure.
Maybe we can get an extension on the card.
Well, we can try.
Excuse me.
I have a question.
- Not my department.
- But you're customer service.
Oh, yeah.
We really need to ditch that sign.
Fine.
How can I help you? Is there any way we can extend the expiration date on this card? Shouldn't be a problem.
[beeps.]
Uh, you know what? No.
This is a "friends to the end" gift card.
It's not only impervious to change, - but when it expires, so do you.
- What?! Like, we die? Geez.
Everyone's gotta die some time.
This just guarantees that you'll die sooner.
It's all here in the contract your friend signed.
If you don't use it by midnight, zap.
[chuckles.]
Both of you get blasted into oblivion.
Zap?! Tell me again, Star.
Why did you get me a card like this? I didn't know.
I never read the fine print.
Always read the fine print, Star! I mean, look at this contract.
There's gotta be something we can do.
Nope.
Sorry, dude.
Um, dudes.
Seeing as there's only a few hours left, you better go find something you really like.
[both screaming.]
Uh, yes, before you ask, this is not my Ow.
- Oh, no.
Ten minutes to midnight.
- We're toast.
[both gasp.]
Activating expiration mode.
Shooting star explosion! Enough nonsense.
Choose your gift.
Your life depends on it.
Commencing countdown to your expiration date.
You have ten minutes.
- See anything you like, Marco? - No.
[music.]
Nine minutes until expiration.
- What about gourmet hair gel? - No! 8.
5 minutes until expiration.
- Who designed this card?! - Why do you have to be so picky? I'm not picky.
I'm just highly selective.
Wait, Star.
Hold on.
The ultimate in privacy.
It's even my favorite color.
And a thumbprint privacy setting.
[laughs.]
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
It's yours, Marco.
Get it, get it, get it out.
[straining.]
It's stuck.
Sorry, sir.
That's a display model.
[screaming.]
We gotta get the Quest Buy sloth employee to help us.
[laughing.]
Stand back.
My friend Marco needs one of your privacy wallets.
Uh, well, I am on my break, but, sure, let me check.
Can you see if they have it in plum? Uh, sorry.
Looks like we're out of stock.
No.
It can't be! One minute to expiration.
This is all my fault.
I should've let you know there was an expiration date.
And I wasn't being lazy when I bought that thing, I promise.
I genuinely thought you would love to pick out what you wanted.
Sorry.
Did you mean jeans pig unwanted? I know a lot of this wouldn't have happened if I was easier to shop for.
Okay, I will search for cheesier mop store.
Let's hug, so when they find our charred skeletons, they'll know we were friends.
Sorry.
There was zero results for snow made worm pants.
Wait! I know what I want! Hey, there's only one thing in this whole stinkin' store that I could ever want.
Star's my best friend, and friendship is the greatest gift I could ever receive.
You need to pick something you can purchase from the store.
- Well, it was worth a shot.
- It was sweet, Marco.
Preparing to honor expiration.
- Good-bye, Marco.
- Good-bye, Star.
[whirring up.]
Holy [angry muttering.]
Where are the stairs in this place? Princesses, my name is Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne.
Miss Heinous sent me.
Prepare to [screams.]
Invalid entry.
Expiration imminent.
Hold it.
We do have one more privacy wallet in stock.
[both exclaim.]
Only, sorry.
We don't have it in plum.
Just, we have it in, um, Prussian blue.
[sobbing.]
Oh, it's perfect.
Prussian blue is my favorite color! - Even more than plum.
- Sheesh.
So dramatic.
Good doing business with you, sir.
Contract obligation fulfilled.
[beeps.]
[explosion.]
Well, that completes your transaction.
Have a good day, sir.
We got you the perfect friendship gift! Oh.
What is with this thing? How the heck are you even supposed to open this?! - Yeah.
Let me see that.
- Nice try, ladies.
Its thumbprint lock will allow no man or magical creature to ever - Got it.
- Janna, get out of town! - How did you do that, Janna? - I've got Marco's thumbprint.
In fact, I've got all of your sensitive information, Marco.
Get outta town!! Delivery from Quest Buy, milady.
But I wouldn't open it.
You're not going to like it.
Oh, well, then there are two things in this room I don't like.
Rasticore! I'll get you, Princess Marco.
I'm sorry.
What's the other thing you don't like? I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home