Strangers with Candy (1999) s02e09 Episode Script

Blank Stare: Part 2

1
Would you like a flower
for a small donation?
I wouldn't mind shoving
something in that can of yours.
"Messianic Cult
Moves to Flatpoint"!?
Harken to my voice.
An insidious cult is intent
on controlling your actions.
I command you to avoid
it at all costs.
Are you alone?
Not really.
I just don't have any
family or friends
that care about me.
Why don't you come with me?
Okay, as long
as you're not a cult.
Hey, everyone, this is Jerri!
ALL:
Hallelujah, Jerri!
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
hallelujah ♪
[CHANTING] Father
Father Who's that?
Father.
Behold!
The power and the
majesty of faith!
I keep thinking that the
phone is never going to ring
and we're never going to
hear from her anymore
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Wwhoooo arrrre yooouu?
Jer-ree Blaaaank.
Arrrrrghhh!
Get out of there!
Safe Trap House is a cult.
If you don't leave now,
you'll never leave!
I can't leave!
ALL: Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love,
beauty, friends, fudge!
Trust, love, beauty,
friends, fudge!
She's one of us!
[CHEERING]
I'm gonna sit
at the welcome table ♪
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table one of these days ♪
Everybody!
Jerri!
Jerri!
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
you were someone else.
Care to buy some
flowers, stranger?
Jerri!
Jerri's dead!
My name is Sycamore.
Wha
Nooooooo!
I gotta get help!
Hello, I'm Jerri Blank.
32 years ago I dropped
out of high school
and ran away from home.
Oh, I made a lot of friends,
did a lot of time.
I was a boozer,
a user, and a loser.
I stole the TV.
Did some more time.
But now I'm back in school!
And though the faces
may have changed
The hassles are just the same.
Good morning, students.
Enjoying your breakfast?
I just dropped by because I
was hoping, as your principal,
I could find out
what's on your mind.
Have an informal
"rap session" as it were.
Well, I was just
thinking shut your mouth!
Now, I need a volunteer.
Oh come on, anyone will do.
Hot tea!
Ahh! My eyes!
You fool!
It's burning!
Never set yourself
apart from the crowd!
Don't you know there's
a cult out there?
A cult that would prey
on foolish young bees
who stray from
the Flatpoint hive?
Drag him away,
and put him with the others.
Thank you, Principal Blackman.
Now, in order to enhance your
individuality through conformity
I'm instituting a dress code.
[GRUMBLING]
Based on your own request, that I
imagine you would have requested,
had I asked for your request.
Hit it, Noblet!
[FUNKY MUSIC TRACK]
Check your personality
at the door.
Geoffrey Jellineck
is sporting the latest
in "Blackwear" by Blackman.
Good luck finding his legs,
because those bold
camouflage pants
allow him to blend in
with the faceless mob.
And that stunning maroon top
says to everybody,
"Stay away,
I belong to another."
Report to the nurse's office
for your free uniforms
And report to my office
for your box of
"Nutty Good Bars,"
which you will be selling
to pay for your free uniforms.
[BELL RINGS]
I am telling you, Geoffrey,
you were like a puma
on the prowl out there.
Did you think I was a little
Flat-footed on the turn?
No, are you kidding?
You look great in that uniform.
I can't wait to get mine.
You know, you might wanna
go with pleats on yours.
What do you mean?
You know, the hips.
Are you saying I'm hippy?
Mr. Jellineck, Mr. Noblet,
I need to talk to you!
Hold on, Orlando!
It's an emergency!
So is this!
Look, Geoffrey,
if you think I'm fat,
why don't you just say so!
You're fat.
I knew it!
What's going on, Orlando?
Jerri Blank's
been abducted by a cult!
My God!
Why can't Chuck take criticism?
Am I wrong?
I mean, he's gettin'
a little chunky, right?
What about Jerri?
Oh yeah!
She's a pig.
She's in a cult!
What! We have to tell
Principal Blackman right away!
I better change first.
Butterfly!
Josephus!
Goliath!
Sycamore!
Beckage!
Sycamore, I'm so proud
to be your sponsor.
I'm glad you decided
to let us make you stay.
Back at ya.
This is the happiest
I've ever been.
Hugs!
Mmmmmmm
You are so funny, Sycamore.
You wanna see me get hilarious?
Uh, Sycamore,
would you like some help
bundling your flowers?
Shove off, chubs,
I'm makin' time.
Keep your sausage
links off my flowers.
Thank you, Bill.
Sycamore, is there
a problem here?
Mmmm
Don't think so
Is there a problem here,
Brother Adam?
No, everything's fine.
So why don't you hit the
trail mix, Sir-Feeds-a-Lot.
Sycamore, are you keeping
your heart full of love?
Remember, an empty heart
is the devil's hot tub.
Oh, yeah, Dad
My love trough runneth over.
I love Rebecca, I love what
you did with the compound.
I love you
Heh heh
Your turn.
What do you mean?
It's embarrassing
to have to ask,
but is there anything that you'd
like to say about me that you love?
I love all
my children, Sycamore.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you especially
love about me?
You are a beautiful
flower from God.
You said that one yesterday.
Say something new.
Like what?
What about my voice?
It's very nice.
Do I sing like a bird?
Sure you do.
What kind of bird?
A big bird or a small one?
I don't know!
You don't know?
Well, maybe this is
the wrong place for me.
I'm gonna go pack
my grains and go.
A big bird.
Big!
Small?
That's right.
A tiny bird with a slim waist.
You do care about me.
Hugs!
What about my eyes?
Bill!
Bring the van around,
we're going to the mall.
What about my vagina?
What is this?
No religion at school.
Separation of church
and Flatpoint.
Now do you people see
why we need a dress code?
Snatch it off.
But I'm not wearing a br
A-snatch it off!
Principal Blackman!
Who approaches?
Mr. Jellineck.
Jerri Blank has been
sucked into a cult.
One of my sheep sheared
by a charlatan?
Shoot!
Keep it down.
Come with me to my office.
I wonder where she is?
She's at the mall.
That's enough out of you!
There's only one
way to locate her
and save her from that den
of mindless superstition
Consult the bones.
Hmm
Noblet!
Bring the van around!
We're off to the mall!
Spread out.
Hello, I love you,
would you care for some flowers?
They're free.
Sure.
$20, please.
I thought you said
they were free.
I'm sorry, I must've lied.
The money goes to a good cause.
What good cause?
A drug rehibilaaa
A mind-control cult,
we take your babies.
I think what she means is
a drug rehabilitation center.
Way to go, fat-um!
You just cost Father $5!
Five?
You were gonna charge her $20.
3 to 1 split.
It's better than what
Nico used to give me.
You know, the best
I ever did was 10%
and a vicious beating
with a car antenna.
Adam, God loves you.
Why don't you let
him go love you
someplace else for awhile.
Jerri
Sycamore.
Right.
My daughter, you know
the organization
relies on flower sales
pretty exclusively.
And although I am capable
of infinite forgiveness,
you are really testing
the limits of infinity.
You know, I think God
has other, greater
plans for you today.
Like what?
Like going back to the
van and staying there.
Jesus H. Gyp!
Rebecca, you're
her spirit guide.
Make sure she stays in the van.
C'mon, Bill, I want some nachos.
Hey, that's one of them there.
Look at him selling flowers.
They're so fiendish!
All right, Noblet,
make the contact,
and find out where
they're hiding Jerri.
But stay strong
Don't fall for
any of their tricks.
Don't worry, I've
got an iron will.
So what are you
sellin' here?
Flowers.
Do you need someone to love you?
Oh God, yes!
Desperately!
I'm so lonely!
Would you like to come with us?
I'll go anywhere you want
and do anything you say.
Just love me.
Oh, I should tell you
I'm a plant
They're watching us.
We're looking for Jerri.
I'm her teacher, and
that's her principal.
They don't know
anything about love.
I don't think you
can come with us.
What?
No, please, I need you!
Noblet!
What are you doing?
I'm sorry.
I I just wasn't prepared
for that kind of onslaught.
Our cover's blown!
Back to H.Q.
Rebecca, this abduction
attempt worries me.
We can't afford
this kind of trouble.
Especially during the peak
paper flower sale season.
But Sycamore has such
beautiful potential.
I'm afraid this is
one little lamb
we're going to have
to let the wolves pick off.
Please, Father.
Alright.
You have one more chance.
Thank you, Father.
Thanks, Bill.
This works for me.
Oh, yes
Well, chief
If those chumps ever
come for me again,
we'll be ready to merge
with the infinite.
What are you talking about?
I poisoned all the grain.
What?
And water!
But now we're ready
to kill ourselves
when the devil's henchmen come
on the day of judgment!
But that's the only
food we have!
What are we supposed to eat now?
All the other only food we have.
I'll tell you somethin'.
I'm so impressed
with your progress
that I want you
to start your own compound
on the other side of the world.
But surely there are
those more deserving
of this honor than I.
No, trust me, you deserve it.
If that is your wish,
Master of Dark Desires.
But I won't go
until I am initiated
for this honor
in some sort of steamy
Sacred rite.
There is no initia
Why don't you stay here,
and I'll go prepare
the um
Preparations.
Don't touch anything!
Way to go at the mall, Noblet.
You really screwed it up!
You have no idea
what they did to me.
No idea!
What are you talking about?
I was right there!
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Hello?
[DISGUISED VOICE] Hello, I have
something to tell you about Jerri Blank.
Who is this?
Let's just say I'm
the leader of the cult.
Oh, never mind who I am.
I'm an old woman.
Err ah all you need know
is that if you want Jerri Blank,
in 20 minutes she'll be alone
in front of your school.
So, uh, if you still want her,
that would be a grand
opportunity to grab her!
All of our hard work
has finally paid off.
A breakthrough!
To the van!
Oh Sycamore
It's initiation time!
Father!
Jerri, where are you going?
Uh just goin' to win
some more victories for God!
Get out!
Ahh!
Sycamore, could you
get out and check the tire?
I think it's a little low.
Sure.
There she is!
Get her!
All right!
Get her in the van!
Nicely done, let's roll!
Let's get her out!
[GROANING]
My God!
Those fiends at the cult
beat you mercilessly, Blank!
They didn't beat me, you did!
Oh, she's in deeper
than we thought.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Let's get her inside
for de-programming!
Watch it!
If they beat her to suck her in,
I say we beat her
to suck her out!
Maybe we should try
talking to her first.
Hey, Jerri
I know you're in there.
Listen, I have no idea
what you went through.
I don't have any answers.
I'm not acting in
your best interest.
Why won't you trust me?
I wanna go back.
Those people care about me.
Yes, maybe that's true,
but do they care about me?
I don't think so.
Do you see the flaw
in your logic now?
No.
Aaah, I can't reach her.
She is lost in
some frightening world
that isn't centered around me.
I say we hook up an
electrical cord to her delicates
and shock her back to reality!
Perhaps Chuck could
get through to her.
He was in the cult
for 45 seconds
He knows!
CHUCK: I'll try, but
we'll need to be alone.
All right, everybody out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay, Jerri, let's go.
Where?
Back to the cult!
Wha how?
Through the furnace
and then out through
the air shaft.
We'll burn to death!
Father will protect us!
Where is your faith, woman?
Noblet, what are you doing?
She was trying to escape.
Get back in that chair,
you crazy culty!
Escape?
I say we cut her hamstrings.
Mrs. Blank.
I think it's time that
someone who truly loves her
try to reach her.
No
I think I should.
[YELLING]
Hello, Jerri!
My name is Sycamore!
Jerri's dead.
Don't get our hopes up, troll.
So I understand you
have some new friends?
That's right, and
they care about me.
I care about you, Jerri.
I don't believe you.
If I didn't care
about you, darling,
why would I pretend that I do?
They love me and they
tell me that I'm beautiful.
Are you going to
believe them, Jerri
Or this?
So what?
Anyone can doctor a photograph.
It's a mirror, Jerri!
Oh my God!
I'm gonna sit at
the welcome table ♪
Snap out of it, Blank!
Come back to me, Jerri.
Fight us, Jerri.
Stay in the cult.
Free your mind!
Bad cult!
Look, Jerri, look!
Agghhh!
I'm not beautiful!
Right!
Now you can go home, Jerri!
Now you can
Not so fast!
Let's not count our
chickens before they're
running around with
their heads cut off.
She's not out of the woods yet.
I think she needs
to stay down here
until we are sure she won't slip
back and recover her self-worth.
I agree, I think
she should stay here.
Let's step back for
a while and leave her
to stew in her
own Despair.
[WINDOW UNLATCHING]
I knew they'd come for her!
Sshhhhh!
Rebecca!
We've gotta stop her.
No!
This is one test Jerri
must pass on her own.
I came for you.
I couldn't let you go.
Father tried to hide his grief,
but I know he wants you
back in the fold, too.
I don't know if I can.
Jerri, remember the hugs?
Oh, the hugs!
I'm gonna sit at the welcome
table oh, that's a catchy tune!
We think you are
so beautiful, Jerri.
Oh!
No.
I won't go back
into a world of lies
where people tell
me I'm beautiful!
I won't be sucked
into a living hell
where happy people eat
well and love each other.
I'm with people who
care enough about me
not to care about me!
Goodbye, Rebecca.
Keep this picture of me.
I'm sorry, Jerri.
God loves you.
Yeah, yeah.
She's back!
I'm back!
Hugs! Hugs!
Hugs!
Hugs?
Hugs?
Well, I guess what
I learned this week
is that if someone tells you
that you're beautiful
and that they love you,
chances are they're just
trying to brainwash you
into being happy.
Don't let them.
Thank God, I escaped,
and now I'm free to be
my own person.
The king
of glory comes ♪
the nation rejoices ♪
open the gates
before him ♪
lift up your voices ♪
who is this
king of glory ♪
how shall
we call him ♪
he is Emmanuel
the promised of ages ♪
the king
of glory comes ♪
the nation rejoices ♪
open the gates
before him ♪
lift up your voices ♪
who is this
king of glory ♪
how shall
we call him ♪
he is Emmanuel
the promised of ages ♪
the king
of glory comes ♪
the nation rejoices ♪
open the gates
before him ♪
lift up your voices ♪
who is this
king of glory ♪
how shall we call him ♪
[BACKGROUND LAUGHTER]
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