The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e09 Episode Script

1
My name is Sawakita.
I'm just a regular boy.
If this were the world of comic books,
I would just be in the background.
It happened when I started to accept that
I was just ordinary.
Sawakita.
I want to talk to you about something.
And with that, my ordinary boring life
became exciting!
To be honest, Teruhashi is prettier
than the transfer student, Aiura,
but she has great boobs,
marvelous charm and appeal.
Thanks for waiting, Aiura.
Oh, you came.
Sorry to call you up here
out of the blue like that.
-Sawakita, right?
-She doesn't know my name?
-Give me your hand.
-My hand? Why?
Just do it!
Oh, my! Is she going to let me touch them?
Is this really happening?
That hurts! What are you doing?
Oh, how boring.
-Sorry. You can go now.
-What?
Just as I thought.
He's not my mister right either.
It's supposed to be one of these guys.
S.K. hunting? What's that?
Aiura's doing something with all the boys
whose initials are S.K.
Like sexual things?
I heard some guys
got to put their face between them.
-I'm going to go change my name!
-"S.K. hunting"?
Good grief. I can't believe
what a nuisance these psychics are.
Aiura is a talented
fortune-telling psychic.
Hey. Who is Kusuo Saiki?
Oh, he's sitting right
-No way!
-I'll need to come up with another plan.
It would be fine if I could see auras.
Miko, ready to go?
Chiyopipi, I can't find
my mister right anywhere.
How many more guys are left?
Eighteen.
There are that many S.K.s?
Yes. Including all the K.S.s.
See. You could read the initials
backwards too.
You mean Shun Kaido is on there too?
No. I read his aura and took him off.
-Kaido already has a soul mate.
-Right.
I don't think it's you, Chiyopipi.
I don't understand why I can't see
anyone's aura in the school.
Maybe this school is cursed.
It's not cursed.
You can't see it because I'm nearby.
You would know if you looked,
but my aura is so large,
it covers the entire school,
so mine is the only one you can see.
As long as you never figure that out,
you will never unveil my true identity.
Perhaps your mister right's aura is so big
-you can't see it.
-That's it!
Okay. She figured it out.
Yes, you must be right.
But if so, wouldn't his aura be huge?
-Isn't that really gnarly?
-You still say that?
Whatever. That's not important.
It's super off the chain.
I've never heard that before.
Which means, he's still here, right?
Yumehara. You had to say it.
Let's watch the gate from here.
If you start seeing auras
after someone passes through
-then he's your man, right?
-You're so smart!
-You're the best, Chiyopipi!
-Thanks.
Gosh. Her boobs are off the chain bouncy.
Someone's coming.
Wow. Pink hair? I'm getting excited!
-Oh, it's Saiki.
-Saiki? Oh, the one on my list.
He's gone. Well? Can you see any aura?
No. Nothing.
Well, Saiki does have Kokomi after all.
What? Who's that?
All right. I'm sure
that will get me off her list.
I went to the edge of my aura,
then teleported back here.
All I have to do is wait
for the right time to I go home.
Still nothing?
Nothing.
Sorry. I guess my idea wasn't good.
What? I don't know why you're apologizing.
I should be sorry
for making you stay here.
Should we go home?
It looks like I fooled them pretty well.
-Maybe I'll leave right before they do.
-Want to get some food at Saizeriya?
-I can see them now!
-Now?
Now that I got it back,
I'll look at yours.
-Really? Look.
-Well, Chiyo
SHOCK
What's wrong?
Nothing, you just have
the mark of death on you.
What? Don't talk like that.
I'm serious.
It's right there on your face.
Is it really that bad?
-What the
-Chiyopipi!
This is bad! Chiyopipi! Wake up!
I'm serious!
This is serious! It couldn't be worse!
Damn. If I could've seen her aura earlier,
I could have stopped this.
Man, this is really bad!
I need to pull her up somehow.
I can't believe this!
I have foresight for god's sake!
I can't even save one of my friends
at a time like this!
Yes, you can.
I made it in time.
That's my record for close calls.
I saw Yumehara was going
to fall using my clairvoyance,
but it was right after I had teleported.
And once I teleport, I need three minutes
before I can use it again.
If Aiura hadn't held on to her,
I wouldn't have made it.
-It sure was a close one.
-What?
So much that I couldn't hide it.
Now, what do I do?
What the
Was that Kusuo Saiki?
What? Wait a second.
He's gone!
What's going on?
-I'm right here.
-Oh, my god! I see him!
Don't say it as if I'm a ghost.
How on earth did you do that?
It was nothing.
I just stopped her from falling.
But that's impossible.
Didn't I see you leave earlier?
What are you doing here?
Nothing. I just teleported back is all.
Teleported?
Also, I can hear your voice
echoing inside my head.
That's just my telepathy.
I'm speaking to you through my mind.
What are you?
Nothing. Just a regular
old psychic high schooler.
Psychic? Are you sure it's not puberty?
You have powers similar to mine.
Then show me some proof.
I don't really care
if you believe me or not.
Good grief. Guess I have to.
What? You're going to bend a spoon?
That old trick?
He tied it in a knot!
That's way better than just bending it!
On top of that, he never even touched it!
Now, it's wiggling all by itself.
This is super creepy!
Do you believe me now?
What are you doing?
I'm going to put it on the Internet.
No, don't! You are not
to tell anyone about this!
What? Well, okay.
I'll keep it a secret for now.
But you have to do something
for me in return.
Like what?
I died!
Oh, I'm alive.
You're awake?
I could have sworn
the guard rail came off and I fell.
What are you saying? Wasn't that a dream?
-See? The guard rail isn't even broken.
-What?
I can't believe
this guy even fixed the guard rail.
-I have to do something about this.
-I was so afraid!
Dreaming of falling off the roof
like that. I thought I was a goner.
Sorry, Chiyopipi.
I'm glad it was a dream.
Unfortunately,
this nightmare is going to continue.
Anyhow, that Saiki really saved me there.
I wonder if we could stop this together.
Sorry I fell asleep there for a second.
But I wonder if he really is
my mister right.
At first glance, I thought he was a loner.
He could have been boring,
but he has a bit of a sadist side.
What are you thinking about?
I'm thinking about hamburger steak.
-Now you're a big eater?
-That was close!
I wonder if he's watching us right now.
Maybe he's watching from somewhere
far away to not mess with the auras.
Can he really communicate with me
from far away too?
No, I doubt it. If he could do that,
he would be some kind of god.
What's so bad about being a god?
-Creepy!
-What's wrong now?
-Don't get all excited.
-What?
You can read my mind from far away too?
That's a little creepy.
I told you I could. What's the problem?
Does that mean you heard me before?
So embarrassing.
Miko, can we stop somewhere
for a second on the way?
No, we can't. It's already dark out.
It's against school regulations!
You're a class leader now?
Hey. Can't you use your power to see
how Yumehara is going to die?
If I could,
wouldn't I have already done that?
DEATH
If you have the mark of death,
you fall into a series of unlucky events.
Even if you manage to escape
getting hit by a car,
you will accidentally run into a bomber
on the other side.
-How could that happen?
-We have to get her somewhere safe.
We just have to wait
for the mark to disappear.
Good grief. What a worthless partner.
What? Well, do you have
the power to change fate?
-If I did, I wouldn't be here right now.
-Then don't be saying that about me.
This guy
Hey! Pay attention!
-Yumehara just collapsed!
-Chiyopipi!
What happened? Who did this?
My stomach
Your stomach hurts?
Did you eat something strange?
I don't know.
Maybe it was the fish I got from Chisato.
That's definitely it.
Wait here. I'll call an ambulance.
Everything's blurry.
-Perhaps it was the poison from the fish.
-I'm numb.
Poison? We need an ambulance.
It's okay. We don't need one.
What do you mean, it's okay?
She's still got the mark on her face!
Or does that mean you can cure her?
You don't have powers like that.
-It's done.
-What? I'm fine.
You do!
This guy is like a god.
Check to see if the mark is gone.
Yes. It should be gone now.
-Sorry I collapsed like that.
-It's still there!
And the next tragedy has befallen us!
-Chiyopipi, behind you!
-What?
Hey! Where are you driving, old man?
That's the guy from before.
Oh, no. This isn't good.
He has the mark of death on his face too.
I knew I should have warned him.
It's okay. Don't worry.
-I'm in the truck with him.
-Why?
I saw the same thing as you did.
It's a good thing I chose to teleport
to where he was.
What happened?
He was asleep at the wheel.
That was so scary, Miko.
Both their marks are gone.
That's my mister right,
the amazing Kusuo Saiki. He's amazing.
I mean,
I'm super in love!
This is why I don't want this.
Can we really go back here?
I told you to leave it to me.
Hey, Riki. Over here.
Thanks for coming.
You brought your friends?
Oh, it's me.
Oh, it's you, An!
You can't tell who people are?
I'm glad you came.
Your friends too.
-What? Master too
-Don't say that.
Keep quiet about that.
-"Mastertoo"?
-Well anyway, have fun today.
I didn't know you were in a circus.
Did you give up on your magic?
Of course not. I'm still an illusionist.
I just wanted to expand my horizons.
But aren't being a magician and
being in a circus completely different?
See? That guy couldn't be
a magician, could he?
That's not true.
He used to be a magician's assistant.
Isn't that Mr. Ike?
Anyway, Riki,
So, is Midori coming today?
Yes. My mom said she was coming too.
Really? Great!
-I'll do my best. You guys watch.
-How do those two know each other?
Don't think about it.
You'll just get sick.
Okay, we'll be going.
We're looking forward to it.
Good luck.
Thanks!
I see. Midori's coming too.
I can't mess this up.
-It will definitely succeed.
-Watch out!
I'm looking forward to this.
It will be a lot of fun. Right, pal?
Where did he go?
I knew he was going to mess something up.
-Are you okay?
-I can't believe it was before the show.
-Chono's hurt!
-Oh, no!
What a way to collapse.
What happened?
One of the lions suddenly went berserk.
What? He was attacked?
No. It was chained up,
but Chono was surprised,
he ran into one of
the balancing balls and landed head-first.
What an idiotic accident.
Chono. Are you all right?
I just called an ambulance.
-No. I'm okay.
-Should I heal him?
No. It would be strange if he was suddenly
healed in front of everyone.
I guess his show is canceled.
-I have an idea.
-You can't in your condition.
Not me. I found someone else.
Him.
-Me?
-This kid?
Please, master.
Everything depends on this performance.
-Take my place
-I don't think so.
-on the stage, please.
-Chono!
Not even if it's your dying wish.
Should we let this kid take his place?
We can't do something like that.
That's right. I guess I'll be leaving.
No. It's okay. I know him.
He's no ordinary lad.
He has helped us out of a jam many times.
He will certainly do something to help us.
Don't say that, old man.
Well, if Mr. Ike says it's okay
If Mr. Ike vouches for him.
Mr. Ike says it's fine, so it will be!
It's impressive how much they trust him.
Okay! This kid will take Chono's place!
-Good luck out there!
-You can do it!
This isn't for you to decide!
Thank you for coming, everyone.
The Butterfly Circus is about to begin!
-What?
-Where did Saiki go? It's starting.
Maybe he's lost.
It started.
-Do you think that's An?
-Forget about
-Oh, is it?
-your ordinary lives,
-Those are the clothes he was wearing!
-and enjoy the show!
But where is Saiki?
-Taking a dump?
-I'm here.
Since I'm here, I might as well do it.
Are you ready, kid?
-The voice you hear on the speakers
-Enough formalities.
-is going to tell you what to do.
-Let me introduce myself.
Just do what it says.
My name is Butterfly Boy the Clown.
I see. I just have to follow him.
What? You think my face is weird?
What are you talking about?
I'm a clown, so I'm just clowning around.
Just kidding!
That joke bombed.
Now that I've warmed you guys up,
let me show you what I can do.
I'm a wonder at juggling. Here I go!
-Here goes!
-What do you think? I'm good, aren't I?
Wow! From on top of that ball!
-Good grief. Somehow
-Not like that!
-You get off the ball first!
-What?
Don't get too amazed.
I see. He's never juggled
while standing on a ball before.
I have nothing else to show them.
What should I do?
I guess I have no choice. I'll float!
-Look at this! Amazing, right?
-Awesome!
Amazing.
There are more great performers to come!
-Enjoy the show!
-We can't beat that.
-That guy is awesome!
-See you later! Bye!
Of course he is!
That was great, lad.
-Good grief. I'm done.
-I didn't know you could do that.
I'm already fed up
with having to clean up their mess.
Plus, I'm tired. I'll just go home.
Next up,
a terrible accident occurred at the circus
in Hidariwakibara-cho.
There were 24 victims,
including seriously injured.
The cause
That vision
Good grief. I guess I'll have to stay here
a little longer.
Will Saiki be able to prevent disaster
from striking the circus?
RUMBLE
SAIKI
-My visions are never wrong.
-It's a terrible accident!
-Something big is going to happen.
-It's bad! Really bad!
Thanks again, lad. You can go home now.
I would love to, but I can't.
-Oh, that's right. Sorry.
-What?
You're talking about this?
This is all I can spare now.
I'll talk to the manager later.
That's not it. I'm worried about everyone.
This isn't enough?
-Oh, you should see this.
-What?
He will cross that rope on a unicycle.
It's amazing.
On a unicycle?
If I make it across, I'm going to propose
to my girlfriend!
That's a red flag!
-He might be the cause. What should I do?
-What the
-I'll have to do it!
-What?
Wasn't the guy in the tank top
going to do it?
-It's that clown!
-Amazing!
-Nicely done.
-Sorry, guy.
I see now. I'll go tell the manager.
I wasn't trying for more money.
Good grief. I guess I can go now.
Next up is the most difficult trick.
What? Next is the trapeze.
It's mid-air acrobatics.
Two people hang from a swing
and the bottom one is flung across.
That's crazy.
I could do that with two broken arms,
but it's impossible for regular people.
My elbow still hurts from banging it
on that table earlier.
I guess I should be fine.
It has to be him.
-I have to do it.
-Kid?
Here we go. Now for the catch.
Who is this guy?
-It's that clown again!
-What's with him!
-Nice, Chono.
-I wish Saiki could have seen this.
-That should take care of it.
-Kid,
how much do you want exactly?
Just give me a number.
It's not about that.
-I'm leaving.
-It's time to see
to see Mike the lion
-jump through the hoop!
-This must be it!
You think he will attack people?
He's trained, so it's safe.
-If that's true
-I want to see meat.
I want to hear the humans scream.
-I want to eat them!
-It looks like Mike is ready!
It looks like Mike's ready indeed.
-He's not trained at all.
-Now to let him out of the cage.
Is this all right?
Mike is a fully trained lion,
so don't be afraid.
-It's completely safe.
-This guy must be crazy.
Mike, calm down!
Is this really okay?
I want human meat!
I need to make him submit.
Mike. I'll give you some food.
Mike! What's with that face?
All of your teeth are gone,
and you look all fancy now!
Whatever. Jump, Mike!
BOING
That's how you tame a lion.
-Wow!
-That's strange.
He usually never does that
unless you feed him first.
Plus, he always looks like
he's going to attack someone.
What? He's always like that?
Which means he's not the cause.
Chono!
It wasn't a big injury,
so I was able to come back.
Master! Thanks for filling in for me!
This has been a disaster for me
because of you.
Actually, coming back from the hospital,
I ran into Midori in the lobby.
She knew that wasn't me on stage.
She said,
"I knew you couldn't do all those things."
It looks like she knew from the start.
-What?
-What?
Then we didn't have to do all that.
True, but it looks like it was a hit.
Thank you.
You mean, I didn't have to do that?
Maybe I'll send you back to the hospital?
What was that?
The roof came down.
-The roof? I didn't see that coming.
-Help remove the rubble!
-I was only able to save 17 people.
-This one is safe!
-What? I'm alive.
-He wasn't crushed!
Damn it. I saw this coming,
and I couldn't protect everyone.
Let's help them!
-It's so light!
-What is it? Styrofoam?
Is everyone all right?
Yes. Only a few people got hurt,
but everyone seems to be okay.
It's a miracle considering what happened.
-It hurts!
-It's not bad. Don't cry.
Hey. Look at me.
There's nothing in my hands, right?
But if I do this
Wow. A lion!
-It's Chono. How come
-What? Then,
who was that clown?
That was close.
Good thing I have makeup on.
They might have noticed me
if they got a close look.
But what an ending.
With this, the circus was a failure.
Chono was right. There was no point.
We didn't have to do it.
Even if I hadn't done anything,
it would have turned out okay.
Jeez. What a terrible clown.
The accident at the circus
-That clown was amazing!
-left a few injured.
Pal, where did you go?
Nowhere. My stomach hurt,
so I was in the bathroom.
What's with that nose?
I'm just clowning around.
-I heard Teruhashi is absent.
-I heard. She's got a cold.
-I hope she's okay.
-Everyone is in low spirits today.
I don't want to do anything
without seeing her.
It's like a hole opened up in my heart.
How can we do anything when she's
suffering from a cold like that?
-We're powerless.
-Aren't they overreacting a bit?
All their energy is gone
because one person is absent?
Even Teruhashi catches colds sometimes.
I'm so bored.
It's like watching a movie
with no heroine.
You guys too?
-"Independent study"?
-Even the teacher is bummed.
Whatever. I'll just study.
I wonder if Kokomi will come tomorrow.
What are you talking about?
Of course she will come!
But who knows? With a cold,
she could be out tomorrow too.
Do we even know if it's only a cold?
What? It has to be.
You think being absent
means she has a cold?
It could be a rumor, right?
-That's right. But who told me?
-I heard it from Shinji.
I heard that too.
It's a cold.
I used my clairvoyance to make sure.
It's all right! I'm here for you!
-I'll help with your suppository.
-Go away.
I don't know if she will be okay
by tomorrow.
That's right. It might not be a cold.
Yes. I assumed she had a cold
because she was absent.
It could just be a family thing!
Then she will be here tomorrow!
If you're thinking positively, sure.
But if it's not just a cold,
it could be something even more serious!
Don't make it worse.
Worst-case scenario, she never comes back.
-What?
-What?
Don't say things like that!
That's right! Especially about Teruhashi!
But just then, in everyone's head
appeared these four words.
-The beautiful die young.
-The beautiful die young.
Hey, guys. You were right
about her having a cold.
You scared me.
Don't start screaming like that.
But I just imagined what Kaido was saying.
-Imagined?
-Yes. Think about it.
If Teruhashi has something incurable
KOKOMI TERUHASHI
I don't have much longer.
I can feel it.
I'm scared. I don't want to die.
Will you always remember me?
-Why?
-Knock it off.
-It's just so sad. I can't stop crying.
-What a tragedy!
Calm down. It's only a cold.
But she is so young. Damn it!
It's just too cruel!
It's just a cold.
Hey! Where are you going, Hairo?
It's raining!
Can you hear me, God?
If you're going to take Teruhashi,
take me instead!
Pretty cool, but it's only a cold.
I was just giving you
the worst-case scenario.
This is all your fault.
It looks like Teruhashi
won't be here tomorrow.
-Yes. She's horribly sick.
-She doesn't have much longer.
She's having surgery tomorrow?
Wish it were me instead.
-Hayashida went to the shrine to pray.
-There's no controlling this anymore.
These over-exaggerated rumors
are spreading.
It went from just being anxiety
to something negative.
It only took a single absence
to cause this commotion.
Saiki! You're in Teruhashi's class, right?
I heard she passed away. That can't be.
It's even come this far.
Good grief. I can't just sit by
and watch anymore.
I better take this off first.
It will take some effort
to reach everyone.
Here goes. Teruhashi has
a cold!
-A cold?
-But it wasn't a cold a little while ago.
No, we just weren't sure if it was or not.
-We just jumped to the wrong conclusion.
-She will be here tomorrow.
Looks like things have settled down today.
But if she doesn't come tomorrow,
I won't be able to stop it.
All that's left is him.
Pull yourself together, Kokomi!
You're fine! I'm right by your side!
Tell me if you need anything at all!
If you need suppositories
She said get out.
Good grief. I know you're worried,
but it's not helping.
Rest is the best thing for a cold.
I need her to get better for tomorrow,
or everyone's going to freak.
Finally, some peace and quiet.
Is that Saiki?
No way.
-Good morning, everybody!
-Teruhashi!
What happened to you yesterday?
Sorry. I caught a little cold.
She's back!
I missed you, Kokomi!
Things are a lot more cheerful
when she's around.
Maybe a little too cheerful this time.
-At least now we can go back to normal.
-This is no time to have class!
Let's party!
Let's all skip class
-and celebrate Teruhashi's return!
-Let's go!
I guess nothing has changed.
Kokomi! Are you here?
I need my suppository!
It's right
NEXT TIME
An's circus was really something!
Many cool things happened.
-The roof caving in sure was mysterious.
-Hey. Hey.
Hey. They want us to tell them
about next time.
Shut up! I know!
I heard Saiki's going
to his grandfather's house.
I wonder if I'll be in it.
I wonder.
Subtitle translation by Andrew Tinkler