The Ghost and Molly McGee (2021) s02e09 Episode Script

1
(laughing maniacally)
-I can't believe you're all mine ♪
-Uh, what?
-You and me for all time ♪
-Ugh!
I'm never, ever, ever
gonna be alone again ♪
Oh, boy.
-The dream team you and me ♪
-For all eternity?
-For all eternity! ♪
-Ahh!
It's a ghost,
it's a ghost and Molly McGee ♪
I've been cursed, it's the worst ♪
MOLLY: Now you're stuck with me ♪
We're never gonna be apart ♪
-Is there a way to hit restart? ♪
-Nope.
We're the ghost, Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
-That's me!
-Well, that's she.
BOTH: The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(gentle music playing)
Okay, the kids ate dinner.
There's a veggie tray in the fridge
if they need reinforcements.
The Chens are on standby,
just in case of emergency.
Mom, Dad, chill.
You're gonna be gone, what? Three hours?
Yeah. Go enjoy your date night,
you crazy kids.
I will hold down the fort here,
because Molly McGee
is an A-plus-plus babysitter,
and I got the Wilder Scout badge
to prove it.
It's true! She's great!
It's not that we don't
trust you, it's just
you two tend to get into shenanigans
-when you're on your own.
-(scoffs)
Shenanigans?
That not gonna happen again.
We're just gonna have a relaxing
evening at home.
Did you say "relaxing"?
Because I bought this expensive kit online
and have been saving it for a spa night.
So, go. Out, you two.
Shoo. The sooner you're gone,
the sooner we can break out
my new jade roller.
So cold, so refreshing.
-(car doors closes)
-MOLLY: They're in the car.
(car engine starts)
We have ignition.
And they're away!
Uh, what is going on here?
Shenanigans.
Tonight, we are watching
the most terrifying
horror movie ever made.
MOLLY: Fins of Fear.
BOTH: "If you see the fin,
you're fin-ished."
It's about a petty, vindictive ghost shark
who continues his killing spree
from beyond the grave.
A horror movie?
Pete and Sharon
let you watch those all the time.
Oh, but never anything like this.
It's rated T for "traumatizing."
But but relaxing evening.
I already broke the seal
on the relaxation station.
Come on, we can have
a spa night any old time.
Mom and Dad are gone.
We got to seize this rare opportunity.
Whoa. Physical media?
You heard of this new thing
out called "streaming"?
Too risky. They can track
our viewing history.
We got to keep this watch
off the record.
But we don't even have a DVD player.
Fine. But I'm watching
with a face mask on,
and no one can stop me.
(chilling music stinger)
(foreboding music playing)
FISHERMAN (on TV): You've eaten
every landlubber, Ghost Shark.
But I'll not go down without a fight.
(roars)
-You're so petty and vindictive!
-(jaws snap, bones crunch)
-(shark roars)
-(all scream)
That was
a lot.
Why does a Ghost Shark
feel so much scarier
than a regular shark?
Because Ghost Shark doesn't play
by normal shark rules.
It could appear anywhere anytime.
(gasps)
(whispers)
Even on land.
(ominous music stinger)
Guys, Ghost Shark's not even real.
(blows raspberries)
How do you know?
Hello? Chairman of the Ghost World here.
I'm pretty sure
if there were a Ghost Shark,
I would have heard of it before.
Look, I'll prove it to you.
(clears throat)
(in distorted tone)
By the power of the Chairman
of the Ghost World
(in normal tone)
AKA, moi,
(in distorted tone)
Ghost Shark, I summon thee!
Reveal yourself,
and our house shall be your sea!
(both gasp)
(in normal tone) Uh, anybody see
a Ghost Shark? No?
Well I guess that proves it.
(laughs)
Can't believe we got so worked up
over a movie.
Now, what say we hit that veggie tray?
Pretty sure there are some cucumbers.
I'll need two for my eyes
and ten for my tummy.
(foreboding music stinger)
Ah!
Cool as a cucumber.
(laughs)
Word play.
(foreboding music stinger)
-(screams, cries)
-What? What is it? What happened?
Ah! A Ghost Shark!
-(all scream)
-You guys, uh
You don't think that has
anything to do with me, do you?
Yes, Scratch!
You summoned him
with your Chairman powers!
But I You know, I didn't know
anything would happen!
I was just doing a bit.
Clearly, you don't understand
what a bit is,
do you, Ghost Shark?
Can't you unsummon it?
Unsummon him?
I like to rhyme when I use
my Chairman powers, okay?
There's no way I could think of a word
that rhymes with "unsummon"
under these stressful conditions!
(creaking)
We're gonna need a boat.
(in pirate voice) All right,
as long as you're me crew,
you needn't worry about
the beast that lurks beneath.
We be safe as long as we be in the boat.
Scratch, I love you,
but can you please stop talking
like a grizzled old sea captain?
Yeah, it's freaking me out more.
Also, you're not that good at it.
A mutiny!
To the brig with the both o' ye, arr.
(in normal voice) Okay,
it's giving me a headache. I'm done.
(groaning)
(gasps)
Ghost Shark! Off the port side!
Which way is port?
Well, port is very simple, you see.
"Port" is the same number
of letters as "left."
Or, also, you can think about it,
because "port" ends with a T.
So does "left." So, what Darryl was saying
was it's off to the left.
(Ghost Shark growling)
Wait, wait. We're in the boat.
As long as we're in the boat, we're safe.
-Right, Scratch?
-Uh
The shark can get us in the boat!
(all scream)
Ah! I don't love how he's looking at me!
(roars)
No!
(yells)
He bit my cutie bit! My signature look!
You two just had to watch a scary movie,
and now we're all gonna get eaten alive.
Or in my case, eaten dead.
-Which sounds much worse!
-Don't blame us!
You're the one who summoned
the Ghost Shark!
(yelps)
(roars)
Ah! Upstairs!
Ghost Sharks can't swim upstairs.
(both grunting)
Really not gonna help paddle at all, huh?
I'm captaining.
Abandon ship!
Ghosts before women and children!
(foreboding music playing)
You can't get us all the way
up here, now can you?
SCRATCH: In your face,
you oversized goldfish.
(all cheer)
-We did it!
-We're safe!
(laughs)
(in taunting tone)
"I'm a shark,
but I'm too dumb to go up the stairs."
Uh, Scratch?
-SCRATCH (in normal tone): Yeah?
-Remember when that fisherman
called the Ghost Shark names?
It only made the Ghost Shark
ten times madder.
So? It's not like it can swim upstairs.
Oh, no! What if it can swim upstairs?
-Ooh.
-Run for your lives!
Have you heard the tale
of the crew McGee? ♪
Stranded adrift on the hardwood seas ♪
And the ghostly shark
from which they flee ♪
ALL: A battle with the beast ♪
(powerful grunt)
FISHERMAN: The calming chum
of the waters red ♪
The monster filled
their hearts with dread ♪
And the captain hid beneath the bed ♪
A pathetic coward, he ♪
-Hey!
-In the battle ♪
Oh, the battle,
in the battle with the beast ♪
-(screams)
-To each other they're beloved ♪
But to him, they're just a feast ♪
And the odds look pretty good ♪
That one or two will die at least ♪
In their battle
with their battle with the beast ♪
Battle with the beast ♪
(powerful grunt)
From the starboard side,
they can see him clear ♪
So they lunge harpoons
but they just don't spear ♪
-Uh-oh.
-There goes all his skiing gear ♪
Guess I'll have to rent this year.
(yelps)
Escaping the upstairs hall ♪
They hoist and climb up a ladder tall ♪
He can't climb ladders, right? He'll fall.
Well, at this point,
I don't think we can rule it out.
In the battle, oh, the battle ♪
In the battle with the beast ♪
Turns out sharks are way more deadly ♪
When they become deceased ♪
And its unicorn-shaped pillows ♪
Versus rows of razor teeth ♪
ALL: In their battle
with their battle with the beast ♪
Battle with the beast ♪
(roars)
Uh, really sorry. It's you or me.
I'm really sorry! Mwah.
I'll never forget you, Mr. Whiskers.
Come on, we're slowing him down.
Twinklespot. I'll never
forgive myself for this.
(in lower tone)
"I'll never forgive you either."
(in normal tone)
That's fair.
(snarls)
(gasps)
We're out of stuffies.
-I guess that means
-This is the end.
(roars)
I'm too young to die again!
(sobs)
I mean, after all those stuffies,
the Ghost Shark's got to be full.
(belches)
Twinklespot! You're okay.
MOLLY (in lower tone): "I forgive you.
But I will never forget."
(in normal tone)
Wait a minute,
as soon as you said Ghost Shark was full,
it tossed back Twinklespot.
Are you controlling Ghost Shark?
Yeah, because I control
Ghost Shark. Cuckoo!
Oh, my corn, Scratch.
You didn't summon Ghost Shark
with your Chairman powers.
You created him!
SCRATCH: The shark can't get us
in the boat!
What if it can swim upstairs?
He can't climb ladders, right?
I don't think we can rule it out.
Try saying the shark
does something else, Scratch.
Okay. Uh, maybe the Ghost Shark
wants to do some flips?
(growls)
Ooh.
Maybe it does the tango.
(tango music playing)
I am controlling him!
Uh, maybe the Ghost Shark
is a really sweet, ectoplasmic sea buddy
who doesn't want to eat us.
ALL: Aw!
Who's a good little terror-inducing beast?
Who's that? Well, you are.
-Yes, you are, you little
-(giggling)
I can't believe how worked up we all got.
You see, sharks have been
misrepresented in media
for the last half a century.
In reality, they're an important
and valued member
of the ocean ecosystem,
and we should not paint them
as some all-powerful villain.
Who are you talking to?
Oh, you know. The people.
(chuckling) Okay. Whoo!
Anyway, I've got the perfect idea
for what we should do
for the rest of the night.
Now this is relaxing.
SHARON: Kids, we're home.
How'd it go?
Great. Nothing to report here.
No tears. Everyone's in one piece.
Good job.
Are we not gonna ask
about the Ghost Shark?
Nope.
SCRATCH AND MOLLY:
The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(gentle music playing)
Mom, you need to come live with us.
SHARON: You've had two falls this month,
and Dr. Cohen said
it's unsafe for you to live alone.
Everyone is overreacting.
It's just a sprained wrist.
Maybe this time.
But next time could be much worse.
If something happened to you,
I couldn't live with myself.
Also, could I sign your cast?
I always thought that looked fun.
We just want what's best for you, Mom.
Family takes care of family.
If it will make you
feel better, I'll come.
Okay, it's go time, people!
Mom and Grandma Nin will be back
from the airport any second.
Do you think Nin will like these?
Is it enough? Or is it too much?
The ratio's all wrong.
Less is more, Pete. Less is more!
Grandma Nin had a close call
with that fall,
but if we do our jobs right,
it'll be her last.
That sounded more menacing than I meant.
Nin is an angel on earth
who must be protected at all costs.
We'll stick to her like cheese on pizza.
Great, now I want cheese pizza.
Consider us Nin-separable.
Darryl, I love that pun so much
I am not-so-secretly jealous
I did not come up with it first.
Here she is!
-(all speaking in Thai)
-(door closes)
It is good to see you Ah!
-Let me carry you. I can help.
-Off these go.
-Let me get that for you.
-I tossed the daffodils.
Don't make a fuss.
Okay, you could make a little fuss.
Why so few flowers
for your beloved mother-in-law, Peter?
I knew it. More is always more, Pete.
Of course.
Now who wants khanom chan?
Nin, you're a saint.
SCRATCH: Group hug!
Welcome home, Mom. Don't worry,
we'll make sure you're safe here.
Can't breathe.
(gasps)
Oh, she looks so peaceful
when she's asleep.
She's just asleep, right?
Yeah, definitely.
Maybe we should check
her breathing with a spoon.
What? You do it.
-I don't even know what the spoon is for.
-You've got the tiniest hands!
You do it!
What does tiny hands have to do with it?
Use the spoon, just
(gasps)
Oh! Another fall!
Oh, good thing I put
all these pillows here.
(chuckles)
I guess my nap is over.
SCRATCH: Stop!
Okay, all clear.
Now come on through. Walk through.
We got an upturned rug ahead.
Remember, hug the wall.
Hug the wall, Nin. Hug it.
Here it is. Tom kha gai and larb moo.
Impressive.
I taught you well.
You could re-sprain your wrist.
-Here, let me
-I'm not a child.
-I can feed myself.
-But you don't have to.
Family takes care of family.
SHARON: Now open up.
Here comes the soup plane.
(imitating airplane motor)
(sighs)
(stairs creaks)
Stairs, the most dangerous
household terrain.
Think of me as your chauffeur.
Where to, lady?
I just want to go to the bathroo
(screams)
-(objects shatter)
-GRANDMA NIM: A little privacy, please.
Oh, of course. Right. Sorry.
(clears throat)
Though, you know,
a traditional gratuity
GRANDMA NIN: I am not tipping you.
Right, right. Of course. Got it.
Just habit, you know?
-(sighs)
-(groans)
Whoo! I just pillow-proofed
Nin's entire closet.
You can never be too safe.
PETE: I think I finally got
the right amount of flowers!
Little to the left, Pete.
No, the other left.
There you go. Nope.
-Lost it again.
-(crashes)
Oh, I feel so much better
having Grandma Nin with us.
Family takes care of family.
Nothing's happening to her in this house.
Especially with my ghosty powers.
-PETE: Ah huh?
-A fall?
-(Pete yelps)
-Not on my watch.
Our safety game is Nin-credible.
(laughs)
Two for two on the puns, Darryl.
(woman laughing)
No one is spoon-feeding them.
-Happy
-Absolutely.
(suspenseful music playing)
(yelps)
(sighs)
-Where are you going?
-Your pillows come unfluffed?
SCRATCH: Need another ride
to the bathroom?
Actually, I need a few items,
but I am afraid to carry them
with my delicate wrists.
Ah, ah, ah. Say no more.
We'll get them for you.
Great. I need
A lemongrass chocolate candle.
Not lemongrass, not chocolate.
The two scents together. Very important.
The medieval classic,
The Squire of Lisbon.
In the original Portuguese.
Also, a Portuguese translation book.
An antique clock with hand-painted fluting
in silver leaf, not gold.
And the most relaxing
bath product that you can find.
The most relaxing?
Pressure's on, Pete. Pressure is on.
(Grandma Nin chuckles)
They fell for it.
(laughs)
I see what's going on here.
The fam's smothering you. I get it.
But I'm not like the rest of them.
You and I, we just get each other.
You know what I mean?
It's nice to finally
have someone treating me
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Watch that warped floorboard.
SCRATCH: Nim, you could've tripped.
Scratch, you know what we need?
-Huh?
-Pizza.
With all the toppings. Tacos, dumplings,
-everything.
-Dumplings on pizza?
Nin, you depraved genius!
I'll be back in 11 minutes at 475 degrees.
(chuckles)
Fool.
Nin, I invented the greatest pizza
of all time.
It's like a trip around the world,
but in your mouth.
This part is the Mediterranean.
A lot of hummus.
While this part
Nin?
Nin? Oh!
We're back!
MOLLY: Scratch?
I can't find Nin!
ALL: What?
Okay, everyone, put away
those accusatory eyes
and put on your searching eyes.
Where could she be?
-She could be lost!
-Or hurt!
Or kidnapped by an unscrupulous gang
of grandma-nappers!
-Grandma-nappers?
-Yes!
They roam the streets,
stealing grandmas who will
cook them homemade snacks
where the secret ingredient is love!
We got to find her before they do.
Those are my snacks.
I eat the love!
(upbeat music playing)
Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
No idea where she went.
Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
Gonna find that grandma ♪
Search the town ♪
Gonna hang up fliers ♪
But she tears them down ♪
Gonna track her movements ♪
Trace her phone ♪
I know it isn't Grandma,
but can we still bring her home?
Hey, that's my dog.
And they're not gonna stop ♪
They've got a job to do ♪
Good afternoon, fellow bearded man.
And they're racing the clock ♪
So he's gonna limit his snack breaks ♪
To one, maybe two ♪
Mom!
They wanna find,
wanna find Grandma Nin ♪
She's been hiding inside
a recycling bin ♪
They're gonna try, gonna try ♪
But she's gonna win ♪
They are searching for Grandma Nin ♪
- Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
-Searching for Grandma Nin ♪
Grandma?
Searching for Grandma Nin ♪
Freedom!
(laughs)
(groans)
-(thuds)
-(grunts)
Ow. Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Oh! I should not have taped
my phone to a dog.
Hello? Is anyone there?
Hello?
Okay, bad news,
Nin wasn't in the Ghost World.
But good news,
Nin wasn't in the Ghost World.
So she's not
(groans)
You know.
Hey?
I just don't understand
why she would leave.
She has such a safe, perfect life with us.
Do you think it was the flowers?
I knew I overcorrected.
-(gasps)
-(cell phone rings)
-Hello?
-MAN (in deep voice): We have Nin.
Pack her bags and meet us
at 212 Walnut Lane in 30 minutes.
-(call disconnects)
-(all gasp)
Unscrupulous grandma-nappers.
I didn't really think they were a thing.
Why did I put that into the universe?
McGees, roll out.
(imitating siren blaring)
-(tires screech)
-Motor's running.
Strike Team Alpha, you re-nap Nin,
and I'll put the pedal to the metal.
We've got 24 dollars and 18 cents.
Is that enough for a ransom?
They're holding our grandma, Molly,
not a hamster.
Uh, everyone? Look where we are.
MOLLY: The senior living center?
Oh, yeah, girl!
(laughs)
Nin! I was so worried!
I ate all our pizza!
I'm sorry, but I eat when I'm nervous.
Patty? Bobby? You kidnapped Grandma Nin?
What? No.
We found her in the park.
Wha Then why did you use
that scary grandma-napper voice?
Whoops. The grandchildren installed
(in altered voice)
this voice filter app on my phone,
and I don't know how to delete it.
Well, thank you all for finding my mom.
Now, let's get you home,
where it's safe and--
No. I'm not going back there.
-(all gasp)
-You treated me like a child.
I couldn't do anything for myself.
GRANDMA NIN: So I escaped.
But you were right about my dizzy spells.
I took another fall and couldn't get up.
I was all alone,
until my new friends showed up.
They showed me what independent
senior living can be.
They've got spacious rooms with privacy.
On-call help if I need anything.
Game nights, sports, a pool.
Plus, Tuesday Jazzercise class
has some foxy seniors.
I'd growl, but my teeth'd fall out.
I love my family.
But I am not ready to give up
my Nin-dependence.
Ooh, kind of mad
I didn't come up with that pun.
You got two, Darryl. Don't be greedy.
-I'm sorry, Mom.
-MOLLY: Me too.
-Sorry, Nin.
-Sorry, Grandma Nin.
It was the flowers, wasn't it?
We were so focused
on what you shouldn't be doing,
we lost sight of what you can do.
What's most important
is that you're safe and happy.
Yeah. And we can visit
all the time, right?
I would like that very much, Molly.
PATTY: Nin, you coming
to seniors' fencing?
Coming!
-They grow up so fast.
-They do, Mom.
-MOLLY: They really do.
-And I'll see you at Jazzercise.
SCRATCH: Make good choices!
SCRATCH AND MOLLY:
The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(closing theme music playing)