The Jellies (2017) s02e09 Episode Script

Walla Walla Wallabees B

1 [ hip-hop music playing .]
I'm watching Friday the 13th with freddy kruger After that it's the hudson's with some heavy looping It's like holding my paint it's like rolling my pants Every moment they ask how I'm flowing so fast Hey, RG, Who are them old guys yelling stuff on the stage? That is the world-famous, legendary hip-hop group new york new york.
They came to promote their new audio book, "we from [bleep.]
new york.
" they are a rare breed of rapper.
A species on the brink of extinction.
Oh, my god! Well, we need to keep 'em alive! The only thing that can keep a prehistoric rap group alive is homage.
And as you can see, they ain't gettin' much.
Well, I'm gonna give 'em some.
Yo, hold on, b.
You want selfies, you gotta get on the line, dawgs.
Yeah, you gotta get in line, dawgs.
But there ain't no line.
Yo, word, yo, yo -- yo, chill, chill.
Let him through, fam.
The name's cornell.
I'm keith this is fredro, chop cheese, l train, big bodega, denim god, andI forget the rest.
Cool.
Get out of here, goober.
Yo, for real, b? We got a real live fan of our music, and y'all wanna run him away? Um, actually, I'm -- I'm not a fan of your music, but I just came over here to keep y'all from getting extinct.
Word.
And just for payin' homage to the gods, we 'bout to give you your own hip-hop name.
Yo, where the hip-hop name generator at, son? I'm right here, god.
What's your full name, b? Cornellious ephram jelly.
[ beeping .]
not no more.
Your new name is naughty yankee cakes.
[ gasps .]
yo, his initials is nyc.
I ain't never seen that happen before, man.
Yo, we gotta give him the chain, son.
Fulfill the prophecy, lil' nigga.
It's your turn.
Cool! Hey, uh, just curious -- how do 100 members survive on the road after airfare, hotels, and food? Cornell: [ laughing .]
I mean, you guys can't be making no money at all.
What's food, b? Yo, forget about the food and the bread, yo.
We do this for the seeds, b.
Now, you know I'd do anything for the children, b, but a nigga is type starvin', yo.
Hey, why don't you stay at my house? We got plenty of room, lots of food, and it's free.
Well, we don't usually stay with fans for free, but, uh, since you, like, an honorary member now, have your mommy make us some meat loaf.
OhMy god? Thank you? Slam.
this is ridiculous, god.
I hate this place.
Yo, b, there gotta be some hardcore fans somewhere around here that would give us some homage.
Hey, y'all say you're for the children.
My school got a lot of children.
Maybe y'all could find some homage there.
Or some children.
Yo, real talk -- yo, yo, for real, for real talk, for real, you dumb smart, yo.
I'm glad we made you a member, b.
Slam.
-Nigga, come on, man.
-Give me the covers, son.
-Treat me like a bodega.
-I'm tryin' to, b.
-Grab me.
-No, nigga, you grab me.
I grab you every night, b.
-9/11 was not a conspiracy.
Keith: Oh, man, it was a conspiracy.
Them planes was -- fredro: Nigga, them -- yo, yo, yo, everybody, settle down.
Today, we got some very special guests, b.
Pioneers of the rap game, if you will.
Yo, give it up for hip-hop.
Hip-hop, hip-hop.
Give it up for real hip-hop.
[ coughs .]
um, what do y'all do again? We put [bleep.]
in yo mouf [bleep.]
yeah, foot longs [bleep.]
whoa, gentlemen, please watch your language.
Sorry, mr.
Amistad.
[ scoffs .]
we put [bleep.]
in yo mouf, little boy.
Yo, come o-- yo, nah, nah, man, we don't do that.
We rappers, yo.
Come on.
Y'all ain't never heard our hits? "I'm from new york"? "new york is my home"? "that ain't no sandwich, nigga, that's brooklyn"? Oh, my god.
Oh, I get it.
Which one of y'all is redman? Nah, man, we not -- yo, look us up on the world wide web, yo.
Y'all came out in 1991? That's when my daddy was born! [ laughter .]
hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on, guys! Just because we never heard of any of their music doesn't mean you gotta be mean.
So what if they wear timberlands in the summer with shorts? So what if they got gray hair and smell like blunts and wallabees? They're still my friends.
Come on.
Can't y'all just give them a little bit of homage? Yo, mr.
Jean jacket's at it again! Everybody, come look at my phone! I've been in the streets like the steps.
.
Steps.
.
you say your in the streets like a step then I wish he came for show-and-tell instead of these niggas.
[ music playing over smartphone .]
y'all call this music? Yo, mr.
Amistad, do something about this disrespect, man.
Nah.
[ chuckles .]
This is my jam, too.
Yo, fredro, show these children niggas what time it is.
Slam.
[ digital powering up .]
[ laser firing .]
now, since y'all don't wanna come up off the homage, we gon' have to earn -- I mean, we gon' have to take it.
Hey, check, one, two.
Hey, hey, check.
This thing recording? Attention all teachers and students.
Your school is gettin' hijacked, b! [ screaming, indistinct shouting .]
This is all your fault, Cornell.
Should've paid homage, B.
[ sirens wail, tires screech .]
all right, it's time to get some workout in.
Now, I need you to walk fast around the whole gym with your pants sagging.
I wanna see asses out, son! Let's get it! [ whistle blares .]
-I will not -- -[bleep.]
jeans down.
[ school bell rings .]
aight, boom.
When you multiply the b, b, you get two bs, b.
But when you add knowledge, knowledge, self, born, power to understanding, you get the black man is god.
do ditchin, do dishes I'm in sync with the flow, I ain't timberlake my shit is great I think that you know bring in some drugs, singing with hos [ alarm blaring .]
[ all coughing .]
[ inhales sharply .]
yo, get y'all asses off the floor.
Puff on this.
[ alarm blaring, students coughing .]
[ high-pitched beeping .]
[ giggles .]
uh-huh.
Aye, whatchu doing, my boy? I'm in here takin' a woo woo.
Cornell, listen.
This whole takeover thing has gotten out of hand.
If it doesn't stop now, the whole school could be in danger.
You don't know how it feels to not be recognized.
But I do, and it's not cool.
Now, they're not dangerous.
They just want a little homage.
Oh, yeah? [ gasps .]
narrator: [ over tape player .]
and in the early '90s, 28,000 niggas in polos, wallabees, baggy jeans, gold teeth, and wheat tims came together to form the legendary group, the -- yo, god, I don't think hijacking the school is a good idea.
Somebody gonna get hurt, b.
Yo, let this be a lesson to you.
When people not paying you your homage, you get up in they ass and -- police: Attention, old guys that are holding the children hostage.
We still don't know who you are yet, but we're trying to look you up on the internet.
[ keys clacking .]
yo, what's the internet, b? The world wide web.
Oh, oh, oh, okay.
Oh, wait.
Okay, we found it.
Oh, you're some bitter old rap guys.
Well, look, we're gonna need you guys to let the kids go so we can blow up the building.
[ indistinct shouting .]
please, just do what they say! Yo, we're not doing nothing until we get paid some homage.
Yo, come to the gym quick.
I think we got some homage.
[ indistinct shouting .]
[ helicopter blades whirring .]
[ all gasp .]
[ bang .]
now, you see this? This is homage.
It's aight.
But they should've dipped 'em in that blue and cream.
Word up, and let this be a lesson to you all.
Don't nobody [bleep.]
with new york niggas! Yo, it's a ambush, b! [ guns cock .]
[ glass shatters .]
[ guns cock .]
they got us outnumbered.
Not no more they don't.
[ digital powering up .]
[ warble .]
moosefoot candle star! Midnight sand dominator! Desperado swami watcher! Thunderous wizard prophet! Childish gambino! Give us the kids! Hey, yo, give me the homage, son, or mr.
Amistad gettin' a buck fifty across his throat.
[ whimpers .]
yo, fredro, show 'em where we from.
We from [bleep.]
new york.
New york ain't scared of nobody.
Aaaaah, slam! [ lasers firing .]
ah! Suckas.
Ah, he stuck me! Oh! Ah! Ooh! Oh! Watch it! I got it! [ gunfire .]
remember what I forgot to tell you! The only way to end this episode is to release the spirit of new york.
Also remember what I forgot to tell you.
Take the chain off, turn it over, rub it three times, and then read the inscription on the back.
Yurt? [ explosion .]
[ Wind howling .]
new york, come on, a'ight? [ Woman screams .]
slam? Yo, come on, man.
What we doin', man? Homage ain't about takin' this or takin' that, holding them up at the bodega.
You gotta treat these niggas like chop cheese and let 'em come to you.
We gotta show these young boys how to put on denim drawers.
We gotta let 'em know it's new york, baby.
Don't ever let anyone tell you it's not.
Bring it in, yo.
[ singing gibberish .]
Yo, naughty, The spirit of New York is in you now.
[ singing gibberish .]
Man: Hey hemi, that's my hot deg!
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