The New Batman Adventures (1997) s02e09 Episode Script
Judgment Day
My dear fellow, I contacted all my usual sources but I'm afraid it's just not a seller's market.
What's that supposed to mean? $50,000 for the diamond.
- Not a penny more.
- That's robbery! That rock's worth 10 times that much! Don't forget, as a legitimate businessman, I have my expenses too: Taxes, overhead, labor.
And they call me two-faced.
Harvey, you're early.
I was able to procure a slightly better price on your items.
I see you do have half a brain.
Enough not to low-ball me.
- Naturally.
- So, what am I, a sap? You're free to take your business elsewhere.
But of course, who else can guarantee my level of confidentiality? As always, gentlemen, it was a pleasure doing business.
See that they find their way out.
Come back again anytime.
The door's always open.
Now, Harvey, if you ever knew what I really cleared Is there no honor among thieves, Mr.
Cobblepot? And you're worse than a thief, trafficking in stolen goods.
I don't know who you are, sir, but I assure you, my transactions were all legitimate.
You see, I had no actual knowledge that the items were stolen.
Given that, I don't see how the law can touch me.
I am the law.
And I find you guilty! Raven! Lark! Cobblepot remains in critical condition this morning after suffering a brutal attack at his design studio last night.
Two of his employees say that a masked vigilante dressed as a judge was responsible.
An associate of yours, Master Bruce? - Perhaps not.
- The police had no official comment but Councilman J.
Carroll Corcoran had this to say.
Everyone knows Penguin was still in the rackets yet no one would prosecute.
If you ask me, this Judge knows what he's doing.
Let justice be served.
Another day, another toll pickup.
Wish I had a nickel for every car that's been through these gates.
I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard you say that.
Never knew what hit them.
Court is now in session.
You may approach the bench.
You are accused of murder mayhem manslaughter.
How do you plead? You're nuts.
You can't escape justice.
Watch me.
Court is adjourned.
These police files weren't easy to come by but I believe they'll be invaluable to your crusade.
You understand, of course, I can't be connected to them.
Then why are you doing this? The people like you, Judge.
My polls have shot up 10 points since endorsing you.
I figure if Gordon can have his hero, why can't I have mine? You knock a few heads, I go home with my hands clean.
Everybody's happy.
It was judgment day again for another Rogues Gallery criminal and our cameras caught it all.
It began this morning when The Riddler held up Gotham's Golden Quill brunch.
Hey, diddle, diddle, time for a riddle.
It's about time someone threw the book at you.
Councilman Corcoran said the attack came as no surprise to him.
- Mr.
Corcoran, you care to comment? - Mr.
Corcoran That's right.
The Judge told me personally that The Riddler was next on the docket.
- Who's gonna be next? - What is he talking about? I'm not calling the shots, mind you but I'd imagine Two-Face might consider a relocation.
Hey, what's the big i? "Relocation," eh? I'd like to dislocate them both.
Who? Easy, Harvey.
It's the good cop.
I thought I better find you before The Judge did.
Don't do me any favors.
Hear ye, hear ye.
I've overridden your security, Two-Face.
Court is now in session.
Your punishment is long overdue.
I choose death by asphyxiation.
May heaven have mercy on your souls, Two-Face.
Both of them.
Knowing you, there's a secret way out.
What? Blocked? Nobody knew about this.
- Hey! - Stay down.
What are you gonna do? Remind me to thank you later.
Yes, yes, I can understand your frustration.
It's the second time Batman has interfered.
- I'm going to have to deal with him.
- Well, let's not get too rambunctious.
I got a primary next week.
The last thing I need is the good guys in a slap fight.
Speak of the devil.
Where's The Judge? Darn.
You just missed him.
And he keeps forgetting to leave his number.
- I'm bringing him in, Corcoran.
- What's the matter, Batman? Feeling threatened? He's going to kill someone.
Who? Two-Face? Killer Croc? You think anyone cares? I'll tell you what people care about.
The revolving door at Arkham that keeps sending these freaks back on the street.
Not that I'm criticizing your work, mind you.
You've done a heck of a job.
Really great.
But these days, people want results.
They want closure.
They want I think he got my point.
In closing, let me just say that, as your councilman I am always at your service, to solve your problems.
That's good to hear.
Where's The Judge? I don't know! You shouldn't yell at your constituents.
I'll give you one more chance.
I'm telling the truth.
I don't know where to find The Judge.
He comes to me.
He calls me.
That's the way it works, honest! What do you think? - I believe him.
- Yeah.
The jury has spoken.
But even if you can't find him, you can still help me send him a message.
You know what to do, boys.
Hey.
What are you doing? Where are you taking me? Stop! Two-Face, please! I got money.
Cash! - I can pay you! - Don't tell me choirboy's got a slush fund.
Kickbacks from the Gothcorp project.
A hundred grand.
I can have it here in an hour.
Should've said something earlier.
We could've flipped on it.
No.
No.
Two-Face! I wasn't aware that the police evidence room had a lending policy.
I'm hoping it can provide a clue to The Judge's identity.
Surely the police have already tested it for fibers and fingerprints.
Yes, but take a closer look.
See these holes? Something was attached here.
- A plaque? - Exactly.
Then it's some kind of trophy.
There.
The Marshall Award, presented every year by the Bar Association to a judge or attorney for distinguished service.
Here's a list of winners.
Recognize any names? Good Lord.
Please.
In the name of humanity.
Sorry.
The boss has to show your pal he won't be pushed around.
I'll give you the money.
There's even more.
Just let me go.
- And two-time Two-Face? - Right.
Prepare for your judgment.
What are you waiting for? They were going to murder me! Who are you to judge? You pose as a defender of the law while secretly stealing from the very people you swore to protect.
No, you got it wrong.
And then you lie to The Judge.
Good thing I came back to see you, Corcoran.
I have some news about your hero.
Batman, I hold you in contempt.
We haven't adjourned yet.
No! It came from down here! This way! You gotta help me on this, Batman.
This could be bad for me.
Worse than you think.
Here's your Judge, Corcoran.
- Batman! - Someone reported gunfire.
- Hey, it's The Judge.
- No, it's Two-Face.
Mr.
Corcoran, what do you think about this "Judge" business? So let me understand this.
In reaction to Two-Face Harvey Dent created a third personality, one that would fight crime.
A personality so separate, he even tried to kill himself without knowing it.
That's how Judge knew about the escape hatch in Two-Face's apartment.
He knew everything about Two-Face, except that he was Two-Face.
Poor devil.
What will ever become of him now? Order in the court.
In the matter of the People v.
Harvey Dent how does the prisoner plead? Guilty.
Guilty.
Guilty.
What's that supposed to mean? $50,000 for the diamond.
- Not a penny more.
- That's robbery! That rock's worth 10 times that much! Don't forget, as a legitimate businessman, I have my expenses too: Taxes, overhead, labor.
And they call me two-faced.
Harvey, you're early.
I was able to procure a slightly better price on your items.
I see you do have half a brain.
Enough not to low-ball me.
- Naturally.
- So, what am I, a sap? You're free to take your business elsewhere.
But of course, who else can guarantee my level of confidentiality? As always, gentlemen, it was a pleasure doing business.
See that they find their way out.
Come back again anytime.
The door's always open.
Now, Harvey, if you ever knew what I really cleared Is there no honor among thieves, Mr.
Cobblepot? And you're worse than a thief, trafficking in stolen goods.
I don't know who you are, sir, but I assure you, my transactions were all legitimate.
You see, I had no actual knowledge that the items were stolen.
Given that, I don't see how the law can touch me.
I am the law.
And I find you guilty! Raven! Lark! Cobblepot remains in critical condition this morning after suffering a brutal attack at his design studio last night.
Two of his employees say that a masked vigilante dressed as a judge was responsible.
An associate of yours, Master Bruce? - Perhaps not.
- The police had no official comment but Councilman J.
Carroll Corcoran had this to say.
Everyone knows Penguin was still in the rackets yet no one would prosecute.
If you ask me, this Judge knows what he's doing.
Let justice be served.
Another day, another toll pickup.
Wish I had a nickel for every car that's been through these gates.
I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard you say that.
Never knew what hit them.
Court is now in session.
You may approach the bench.
You are accused of murder mayhem manslaughter.
How do you plead? You're nuts.
You can't escape justice.
Watch me.
Court is adjourned.
These police files weren't easy to come by but I believe they'll be invaluable to your crusade.
You understand, of course, I can't be connected to them.
Then why are you doing this? The people like you, Judge.
My polls have shot up 10 points since endorsing you.
I figure if Gordon can have his hero, why can't I have mine? You knock a few heads, I go home with my hands clean.
Everybody's happy.
It was judgment day again for another Rogues Gallery criminal and our cameras caught it all.
It began this morning when The Riddler held up Gotham's Golden Quill brunch.
Hey, diddle, diddle, time for a riddle.
It's about time someone threw the book at you.
Councilman Corcoran said the attack came as no surprise to him.
- Mr.
Corcoran, you care to comment? - Mr.
Corcoran That's right.
The Judge told me personally that The Riddler was next on the docket.
- Who's gonna be next? - What is he talking about? I'm not calling the shots, mind you but I'd imagine Two-Face might consider a relocation.
Hey, what's the big i? "Relocation," eh? I'd like to dislocate them both.
Who? Easy, Harvey.
It's the good cop.
I thought I better find you before The Judge did.
Don't do me any favors.
Hear ye, hear ye.
I've overridden your security, Two-Face.
Court is now in session.
Your punishment is long overdue.
I choose death by asphyxiation.
May heaven have mercy on your souls, Two-Face.
Both of them.
Knowing you, there's a secret way out.
What? Blocked? Nobody knew about this.
- Hey! - Stay down.
What are you gonna do? Remind me to thank you later.
Yes, yes, I can understand your frustration.
It's the second time Batman has interfered.
- I'm going to have to deal with him.
- Well, let's not get too rambunctious.
I got a primary next week.
The last thing I need is the good guys in a slap fight.
Speak of the devil.
Where's The Judge? Darn.
You just missed him.
And he keeps forgetting to leave his number.
- I'm bringing him in, Corcoran.
- What's the matter, Batman? Feeling threatened? He's going to kill someone.
Who? Two-Face? Killer Croc? You think anyone cares? I'll tell you what people care about.
The revolving door at Arkham that keeps sending these freaks back on the street.
Not that I'm criticizing your work, mind you.
You've done a heck of a job.
Really great.
But these days, people want results.
They want closure.
They want I think he got my point.
In closing, let me just say that, as your councilman I am always at your service, to solve your problems.
That's good to hear.
Where's The Judge? I don't know! You shouldn't yell at your constituents.
I'll give you one more chance.
I'm telling the truth.
I don't know where to find The Judge.
He comes to me.
He calls me.
That's the way it works, honest! What do you think? - I believe him.
- Yeah.
The jury has spoken.
But even if you can't find him, you can still help me send him a message.
You know what to do, boys.
Hey.
What are you doing? Where are you taking me? Stop! Two-Face, please! I got money.
Cash! - I can pay you! - Don't tell me choirboy's got a slush fund.
Kickbacks from the Gothcorp project.
A hundred grand.
I can have it here in an hour.
Should've said something earlier.
We could've flipped on it.
No.
No.
Two-Face! I wasn't aware that the police evidence room had a lending policy.
I'm hoping it can provide a clue to The Judge's identity.
Surely the police have already tested it for fibers and fingerprints.
Yes, but take a closer look.
See these holes? Something was attached here.
- A plaque? - Exactly.
Then it's some kind of trophy.
There.
The Marshall Award, presented every year by the Bar Association to a judge or attorney for distinguished service.
Here's a list of winners.
Recognize any names? Good Lord.
Please.
In the name of humanity.
Sorry.
The boss has to show your pal he won't be pushed around.
I'll give you the money.
There's even more.
Just let me go.
- And two-time Two-Face? - Right.
Prepare for your judgment.
What are you waiting for? They were going to murder me! Who are you to judge? You pose as a defender of the law while secretly stealing from the very people you swore to protect.
No, you got it wrong.
And then you lie to The Judge.
Good thing I came back to see you, Corcoran.
I have some news about your hero.
Batman, I hold you in contempt.
We haven't adjourned yet.
No! It came from down here! This way! You gotta help me on this, Batman.
This could be bad for me.
Worse than you think.
Here's your Judge, Corcoran.
- Batman! - Someone reported gunfire.
- Hey, it's The Judge.
- No, it's Two-Face.
Mr.
Corcoran, what do you think about this "Judge" business? So let me understand this.
In reaction to Two-Face Harvey Dent created a third personality, one that would fight crime.
A personality so separate, he even tried to kill himself without knowing it.
That's how Judge knew about the escape hatch in Two-Face's apartment.
He knew everything about Two-Face, except that he was Two-Face.
Poor devil.
What will ever become of him now? Order in the court.
In the matter of the People v.
Harvey Dent how does the prisoner plead? Guilty.
Guilty.
Guilty.