The Newsroom s02e09 Episode Script

Our elections are the envy of the world.
It's critically important that we not make any mistakes tonight.
We made a small mistake.
We called Michigan when we meant Mississippi.
You have to retract it.
I wonder if maybe it's not necessary to retract it.
I didn't realize that you were president of the Oxford Union.
Cambridge.
I was president of the Cambridge Union.
I need you to change my Wikipedia page.
It's funny the things people try to control when they feel like they're not in control.
You're going to be a named defendant by Jerry Dantana.
- He's suing me for giving him a bad job recommendation? - It's just strategy.
- Say what you want to say to me.
- What? Fire me.
You're the only one who can do it.
I think your resignations should be accepted immediately.
- Then why don't you? - My mom says I can't.
You have to keep trying.
Tomorrow's too late.
You think I'm not firing you because it would make me look bad? Give me a break, Billy.
It's not like you're indifferent.
You're fired, end of the broadcast.
Please don't tell anyone.
w We're just past 9:00 P.
M.
in the East and we have another round of projections.
ACN is able to project Mitt Romney will win the great state of Kansas and its six electoral votes.
Moving south to Louisiana, we project I'm here.
I want to make sure there's absolutely no confusion.
You would go on the record.
We would use your name.
I want more.
I want a quote.
I'm gonna handcuff you to this thing.
Did he just say, "A big prize but no surprise"? Yeah.
He'll be kicking himself for that.
All right, well, we've got a decision to make here and I'll give you a heads up either way.
Thank you and good luck tonight.
It's as confirmed as anything has ever been.
Two GOP congressmen we can quote and identify, two senior DOJ sources we can identify as two senior DOJ sources.
- You wanted me? - Yeah.
- All right, I can explain.
- Nope.
- Oh.
- Explain what? Doesn't matter.
Here's what's happening.
Brody in California made a statement this morning when the polls opened condemning Todd Akin.
It's a tight race.
We figure he saw internal numbers suggesting he needed a bigger cushion with women 18-55.
So he went on a local morning show and slid in a condemnation of Akin, but two hours ago, Maggie found a Brody quote in a Students for America publication from 1990.
"It's a sad fact, but women cry rape to avoid embarrassment, to exact revenge, or just to draw attention.
If we have rape exceptions to abortion laws, women could now cry rape to terminate an innocent life.
We should be able to look past the mendacity.
Children are conceived by love, not by rape.
" - How did you find that? - Prayer and clean living.
- Seriously, how did you find that? - It's my job.
It's my job, too, but I didn't find that.
- No, you didn't.
- Knock it off.
So, Don calls Brody's chief of staff to get a comment.
- John Webb.
- And Webb says Given a little time, he might be able to feed us a better story in exchange for holding the SFA quote till after the election.
What's the better story? David Petraeus is going to resign on Thursday.
He's been having an affair with a lieutenant colonel in the Reserves.
So the question is which story do we run? - 'Cause it's one or the other.
- It's not even a contest.
- Brody.
- Petraeus.
Wait.
It's 6:00 in the West.
The polls are still open.
People are coming home from work.
Almost 40% of the votes in Brody's district are cast between I know, and I fully appreciate that.
- But this is a special circumstance.
- No, it's not.
Let me make my case.
We're under siege.
If we break this Petraeus story two days before everyone else, we'll one: Distract from our own problems, and two: Earn us back some credibility and goodwill.
Does the Petraeus story provide any information the voters should have before they punch a ballot? It does not.
Does it do anyone any good if we report the Brody quote tomorrow instead of tonight? It would help Brody out.
Call your guy back and tell him thanks, but no, thanks.
We'll report that Petraeus is resigning when Petraeus resigns, right? - Yeah.
- Don? I'm agreeing.
Do I have to be happy about it? Put the Brody package together for me to approve.
I want to get it on the air in 15 minutes.
- Everything all right? - Hmm? Yeah.
Here's how things are looking right now just after the 9:00 P.
M.
closings.
Governor Romney is ahead with 152 electoral votes to the president's 123.
No projections right now in Arizona, New Mexico They've run out of ballots in Racine, Wisconsin.
Elliot's got it and then throw to DC.
Elliot, right now President Obama has a lead in Wisconsin, but we're hearing there are voting problems.
Yeah, they've run out of ballots in Racine, Wisconsin.
They've got to get some sort of last-minute ballot supply.
Taylor Warren, is that a good sign for the president in Wisconsin? It's a very good sign.
Racine, the whole Rust Belt area of the state is a very big sweet spot for the president.
Coming to you, Jane.
Start us off with Colorado.
We're gonna start with Florida.
Take Jane to Florida.
Let's bring in Jane Barrow and our panel in DC.
Jane, what are you guys seeing in Florida? There's an interesting dynamic in that battleground state right now and I'd like to go to our panel.
All right, New York's on an eight-minute break.
- Don't anyone go too far.
- And clear.
Okay, whew.
All right, turn out, turn out.
- The ground game.
- You talking to me? I wasn't really talking to anyone.
I think you just described the rest of my life.
How are you doing? A group called Stand By Our Troops submitted a petition to AWM demanding Charlie and I be fired.
They got 20,000 signatures.
- Six and a half times the size of my hometown.
- I saw.
Another group called Concerned Citizens for Truth got 50,000 signatures.
We hired a polling firm to gauge trust.
- And? - Nobody trusts us.
Men, women, over 49, under 49, Republicans, Democrats-- our lack of credibility is immune to demographics.
The op-eds won't stop.
They're getting worse.
And I'm concerned this is finally what's going to kill Charlie Skinner.
Schadenfreude's been made very convenient.
Hmm.
Yeah.
You know, I hate to seem like I'm circling, but I'm setting up a media consulting firm and I wanted to get your blessing to approach Jim Harper.
- About what? - About joining the firm.
He hates me, but if I only worked with people who liked me, I'd have to make my dog Howard a partner.
I'm lost.
There's gonna be a land rush as soon as you guys announce.
There's a lot of talent here.
Jim just renewed his contract a few months ago.
It's in the air supply around here that senior staff is resigning over Genoa.
Charlie is resigning and I'm resigning.
But as of 1:35 this morning, Leona Lansing won't even accept our resignations.
Where did you hear senior staff was resigning? - Maybe I shouldn't say.
- Where did you hear that? From the senior staff.
I make friends everywhere I go.
I want the senior staff in the studio right now.
- We have seven minutes back.
- Right now.
The mood here is still upbeat.
They like the internal exits they're seeing.
They're not troubled that Obama isn't losing in a single state he needs to win? - They like what they're seeing in Ohio and Florida.
- What are they seeing? Honey, I'm starting to get funny looks from people here.
- They know I'm Skyping with ACN.
- You're Skyping with me.
No one can see or hear us.
- Hey, Hallie! - Hey, Maggie.
Will wants senior staff in the studio.
I'll be right there.
It's mostly the bloggers who don't want me helping out old media.
You know, why don't you tell new media that old media has got a combined audience of about 80 million tonight? I will, but new media will probably respond by saying that the report you just gave about Racine, Wisconsin, running out of ballots came off Twitter.
Then you should reply by telling new media to bite me and my accountability and professionalism.
Can you get someone else to do this? By the way, a little while ago we called the Michigan first for Dan Benishek.
If you were thinking of posting something about it, I'd hold off.
- Why? - I accidentally called the wrong race.
- I meant Mississippi.
- You didn't retract it? Our decision desk is 100% confident he's going to win.
- Then why can't you call it? - They're not confident enough.
You should really retract it.
If you were us tonight, would you retract something you didn't absolutely have to? - No.
- I'm going all in on Benishek.
- Hang on.
- They're waiting for me in the studio.
I think she cut her own hair.
Tonight's really not the night-- Cutting off your own hair-- That's alarming.
Any chance this can wait? - No.
- Jim's on his way.
I'd like to announce something in the meantime.
I was supposed to donate a signed copy of my book for the Sandy auction and I went to see my parents last weekend and forgot to leave the book.
Gary, meaning well, signed a copy of the book forging my signature and writing the inscription.
- In German.
- Almost.
In German the words for enjoy and shred are a lot alike.
They're nothing alike, but that's not the point.
Take your time getting to the point, because as you can see, - nothing else is happening right now.
- We've got five minutes.
We do not have five minutes.
The producers don't have five minutes.
My point is that someone bought the book for a lot of money and Neal's dropping everything to help me find out who it was so that I can give him or her a real signed copy of the book.
So if there's anyone who was at the fund-raiser - or maybe knows the person who-- - Excuse me.
You're dropping everything? No, I'm still very much doing my job.
Except for right now.
And when I'm trying to fix your Wikipedia page.
Oh, forget that.
Drop it, it's stupid.
- Everybody's here? - Yes.
Let's go around the room and everybody tell something about themselves.
- Do you need to go back to the control room? - Yes.
Go.
- Fix the page.
Get it fixed.
- Copy.
I don't know what the hell you guys are thinking about doing, but you're not doing it.
Last night, Charlie, Mac, and I offered our resignations to Mrs.
Lansing.
She refused to accept them, believing that the right thing to do was to stand by us.
Charlie is working hard on Reese to get him to change his mother's mind.
The reason, whole reason, we're trying to resign is to allow the rest of you to continue to do what we started without the burden of Genoa.
Elliot would take my job.
Don would take Mac's.
Sloan would anchor 10:00 and Jim would be her EP.
So I don't want to hear any more rumors about the rest of you resigning.
- Is that clear? - No.
- It's not clear? - No, it's clear.
- We're saying no.
- No to what? If Leona accepts your resignations, we're resigning, too.
Everyone who was involved with Genoa.
I'm not going accept your resignations.
Due respect, but if Leona accepts yours, you're not going to be in a position-- We gave you a bad story.
It's our responsibility.
There are principles of principle here and character and responsibility.
Who put all this in your head? - You did.
- Now can we go back to work? You expect me to get choked up? Meeting's over.
Two minutes back.
I think you insulted them a little by not assuming they'd stand behind you and Charlie and Mac.
Why do you think that? Because you insulted me a little.
- Charlie.
Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Excuse me.
- Oh, Charlie.
Charlie, a woman in Mesa, Arizona, ran over her husband with their car because he didn't vote for Romney.
- Can I have a moment? - Did you hear what I just said? - No.
- He's in the hospital.
They were in a parking lot.
She was chasing him around a light pole.
He tried to make a run for it and she pinned him at the curb.
Here's what I find strange about this.
First of all, it's not like the husband voted for Obama.
He just didn't vote for Romney.
He didn't vote.
And second, isn't Romney gonna win the vote in Arizona by like 200% anyway? Yeah, but you don't think the strange part is the wife driving over her husband with a car? Well, she's pregnant.
- Where are you getting this from? - Twitter.
All right, can I have just a second? Sure.
A decision has to be made before the court clerk's office opens at 9:00 tomorrow.
I appreciate everything you said last night.
- I was high last night.
- I know.
You told us.
But then I got a good night's sleep and an early morning swim and a full day's work.
And then I changed and came here and got high again.
- God damn it.
- It's marketing.
They got a stash.
I mean, I don't know how they do it.
I think they grow their own in, like, the Galapagos Islands or something.
And I want to get the Allman Brothers back together.
Rebecca says that it's your intention to sue us if we resign.
For breach of contract, yes.
Hey, you want some champagne? No.
For two months, there's been a mob shouting for our resignations.
- And the mob is right.
- Are you sure they're not just loud? What does it matter? They'll keep shouting until Will and I leave the building.
And if we don't leave the building, what will that do to everyone else? From what I understand, if I accept your resignations, there won't be anyone left except the DC bureau because those guys want your jobs.
Will and I will convince senior staff to stay.
I'm not worried about that.
Here's why you have to let Dantana's lawyers know you're gonna settle before papers are filed in the morning.
A diary will be made available to any reporter who wants to read it - Which will be every reporter.
- of the internal operations of ACN.
And AWM and that diary will be written by lawyers whose only objective is to make us look silly.
I don't feel silly.
You want to split a pizza? Can you understand me right now?! Well, when you speak at that volume, I think everyone can.
I drove them into this fucking nightmare.
I led, they followed.
And it's like I led them to Cape Fear 'cause everyone we've pissed off-- every congressman, every reporter, - every citizen journalist-- - I understand the reality.
You know who I am.
Reese agrees with us.
Oh, the irony that it's come down to you and Reese agreeing.
- Your son and I seldom agree.
- You disrespect him, Charlie.
- He's given me reasons to.
- No, no, he hasn't.
He's given you reasons to disagree with him, but not to disrespect him.
Well, we're not disagreeing now.
He's thinking very clearly about this.
He's being a smart executive.
And now is exactly the right time to listen to him.
Well, I'm doing a lot more than listening to him.
I'm letting him make the decision.
- You are? - Yeah.
- Leona, come on.
- Reese is making the decision.
He went out to take a walk.
- Why? - Clear his head.
- I meant-- - Maybe get a panini.
I meant why are you letting Reese make the decision? 'Cause I'm not really sure Elizabeth Windsor is the world's greatest mom.
I mean, why doesn't she just give her son the throne? On the other hand, I think being queen is what keeps her alive.
But doesn't she want to be alive to see her son be king? Except that that's not how it works.
It's prince by birth, king by death.
Yet-- Do you have any idea what you're talking about right now? Don't think I do, no.
But I want to see how Reese handles this.
He's already told us how he's gonna-- Okay.
Okay.
I'm relieved.
I can tell.
Enjoy the party.
- Oh! - Oh, my God! I'm sorry.
Are you all right? - I'm sorry.
- It was my fault.
I wasn't looking.
Did I hurt you? No, no, I'm fine.
Have we met? You look familiar.
I'm Maggie Jordan's roommate.
- Sure.
- I'm Lisa.
Lisa.
I'm sorry, Lisa.
Are you all okay? - Yes.
- Okay.
Oh, Mr.
Skinner, could I ask you a favor? Would you mind not mentioning to Jim Harper that I'm working up here tonight? Yeah, sure.
Why would I mention it to Jim? Oh, 'cause you guys were-- Got it.
Thank you.
We're ready to make an important projection at 9:25 with 27% of the vote counted.
ACN is projecting that Pennsylvania will be won by the president.
Pennsylvania, a crucial battleground state which was won by the president four years ago, will stay in his column.
Suzannah Marquez is on the scene for us at Obama headquarters in Chicago.
Suzannah, was this much of a surprise where you are? Will, they're not surprised, but they're certainly relieved.
This was a state President Obama was determined to hold against a late push from Governor Romney to take it.
There's also something instructive in these numbers.
According to senior campaign officials I've been speaking to all day - It's not from you? - Mm-mm.
was the high African-American turnout.
And that's a pattern they said they've been seeing in a number of states today.
But, of course, the night is early and we'll have much more later.
- Will? - Thank you, Suzannah Marquez.
- We'll be hearing more from you as the night moves on.
- Battleground update.
Checking in with our other battleground states-- in Florida with 84% of the vote in, the race is as close as it gets with the president holding a 50-49 lead.
- It looks like - It's close.
Hit refresh.
It just got closer.
- Kathy? - Very busy now, Jim.
Can I see you one second? - I'll have to shield my eyes.
- Go ahead.
I'm not allowed to see other networks.
Just look down.
Aim your gaze at the floor.
The Michigan first is getting tighter.
Benishek is only up by 600 votes.
There was a moment in the race when it was 1-0, right? - That's not-- Yes, but-- - And then the second vote got counted.
- You're still confident he's going to win? - Yes.
- And you're just as confident he's going to win.
- 51-49 red.
- Or, if you want to be more exact - I do.
- 50.
6 to 49.
4.
- That's literally as close as a race can be.
- That's why we haven't called it.
- We did call it.
- You called it.
- What's the abbreviation for Michigan? - MI.
- What's the abbreviation for Mississippi? - MISS.
- Okay, you're not here as an abbreviation expert.
I'm 100% confident in those abbreviations.
Go back in your lair.
- Jim.
- Yeah? Rachel Corey is on the phone and wants to talk to you.
She's a pollster with the Benishek campaign in the Michigan first.
Here it comes.
Tam, will you transfer that call to Maggie's line? Yeah.
This is Jim Harper.
Jim, this is Rachel Corey with Dan Benishek's campaign in Michigan.
- Congratulations! - That's why I'm on the phone.
ACN called the race a while ago, but no one else has.
Well, I can't speak for the other networks, but ACN has the congressman holding his seat.
Our numbers show he's only up by 600 votes.
- 657.
- 632.
What the hell is going on, Jim? Do I send my guy out to make a victory speech? I would.
Look, I don't want to kick you guys when you're down, but you haven't had the most awesome history of being right lately.
Well, first, you can't bounce the words history and lately off each other in the same sentence.
Also, in my entire time here covering national elections, ACN hasn't missed a single call.
How many elections have you been there for? This is my second.
- Did we win the election or not? - You did.
Then why has no one else called it? You're forcing me to brag, but it may just be that we have better people working the numbers.
You won't be offended if we wait until someone else has called it, will you? No, ma'am.
I am a little offended.
- Even though you're lying? - She doesn't know that.
- We've got a problem upstairs.
- At the party? The guests were supposed to hand over their phones and someone didn't, because they tweeted a picture.
There are people up there who are hearing information we don't want leaked.
And also this is a shot of Charlie on the floor with broken champagne glasses, which isn't the best optic for us right now.
- I don't have the muscle to get security to-- - That's Lisa.
- Kneeling on the floor, that's Lisa.
- That is Lisa.
She didn't want you to know she was here tonight.
She's been working for a caterer to earn extra money.
Why didn't she want me to know she was here? This is where I'm gonna check out.
But someone upstairs has a phone and they're using it.
You know, it might be a good time for you guys to patch things up.
You really think this is a good time? What if none of us are here tomorrow? Checking back in with our analysts.
Taylor, you've been looking over the exits and working your phone.
Tell us what you're seeing and hearing.
We're seeing movement in Florida.
The last exit polls showed Mitt Romney up by three.
The latest show the president up by one.
So that's a fluid race.
But senior campaign sources in Boston are telling me they like the precinct breakdown.
The Romney people still feeling good about Florida? - Take us to break.
- Florida and Ohio.
And hopefully we'll be able to bring those calls to you soon.
But right now, what we know is that Pennsylvania, the first of the big contested states - Play in and stand by animation.
- Standing.
Stay tuned for more of ACN's continuing coverage of Election Night 2012.
We're out.
- Two minutes back.
- That's two and no change.
Will, we're ready to call the House for the Republicans.
All right, I'll take care of things out here.
- You do it in there.
- Take care of what things? Come sit in this chair.
Why? When we come back from commercial, you're gonna call the House for the Republicans and go to Sloan for the breakdown.
- Where are you going? - I'm taking a break.
What do you mean, you're taking-- I want our audience to get used to seeing you break big news.
That's not gonna be necessary.
- Take the chair.
- No.
Then there's gonna be a camera pointed at an empty chair.
Oh, fuck.
Will! - Don.
- Yeah? We're gonna call the House after the break.
Yeah, we've got Boehner, Cantor, and Pelosi, but we have to wait in line for a while, so you'll need to vamp.
You'll need to vamp.
I'm gonna step out of the room.
- 60 seconds back.
- What? You've got your cards, you've got your producers, you've got Elliot at the desk.
What's happening right now? We just want to show Reese and Leona you guys are good at this.
- You guys are good at this.
- See you in eight minutes.
The Republicans are keeping the House.
Let's get that graphic up.
- G-0445 standing.
- Elliot.
I'm here.
You're gonna ask Sloan how we're able to make that call.
- Copy.
- Sloan, most of the competitive House races were in states where polls closed at 8:00.
Republicans were ahead in 12, Democrats in three, and that's how we're able to call it.
- You copy? - This is getting out of hand.
Ah, don't worry about that right now, okay? Copy.
Welcome back.
We are ready to make a big call.
ACN's ready to project that the Republican Party will be the majority party in the House of Representatives for at least two more years.
So far, so good.
ACN is projecting at this time that the Republicans will hold on to the majority of the House.
We'll be speaking with Majority Leader Eric Cantor in just a moment.
But before we do, Sloan Sabbith, you've been reviewing all the information as far as the House is concerned.
You've been speaking with our decision desk.
How are we able to call this? Well, Elliot, the Democrats needed a net gain of 25 seats to take the House and 20 of the most competitive races closed at 8:00.
I was wrong to think the reason you weren't firing me was vanity.
I was wrong to think the reason you weren't firing me was that it would look bad.
I'm sorry for that.
You want your job back? I don't think it'll make that much difference now.
Charlie told me Leona is letting Reese make the decision.
Yeah.
I tried to explain it my first day here the second I saw you.
Do you remember? I was hung up on him because he had rejected me.
That's normal.
I liked that he hated I was dating you.
We weren't just dating.
Later.
We weren't just dating later.
At the beginning we were, though.
And I was using you to get, you know.
And then I fell in love with you and I never saw him again.
And if I hadn't told you, you'd never have known.
So why did you tell me? If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't, but I had never been in a relationship as serious as ours and I thought it was what I was supposed to do.
You sure you didn't tell me 'cause you wanted to break up? Oh, fuck you.
- It's a reasonable-- - Yeah, I'm sure.
Are you sure you're not just a massive bag of douche? 'Cause let me tell you something, it's just plain weird that you were prepared to marry me, that you'd bought a ring, but were unwilling to read any of my e-mails or answer any of my calls.
Yeah, I'm sorry for this, but the ring was a practical joke.
You were having the staff vet me, remember? I knew you were gonna find the offer from when we were together for me to do something on the West Coast.
I knew you were gonna come into the office waving it and saying, "Aha, you were never as serious as you said, 'cause if you were, you'd have told me about a job you were considering on the other side of the country.
" And that's what happened.
You know, I heard, "The ring was a practical joke" and then I didn't hear anything after that.
It wasn't a joke.
It was a rejoinder.
It wasn't a joke.
You took out a ring and showed it to me as proof that your intention had been to marry me.
I bought the ring that morning.
Scott's assistant did.
Your agent's assistant went to Tiffany's and bought the ring that morning? Yes.
I'm sorry.
And you were never supposed to know.
So I get the irony and I am really sorry.
That ring had to have cost a quarter of a million dollars.
I'm not really sure.
We returned it that afternoon.
I asked them to get a nice one.
You once described a ring you saw in a movie.
- Okay.
- Mac.
You know, no kidding.
I'm gonna step away.
- Hang on.
- Because the thing is I'm serious.
I feel like I'm gonna hit you and you have to be back on the air.
- You're not going to hit me.
- I'm worried that I am.
And I'm the executive producer of the show.
I can defend my-- Stand on the other side of the room.
- This is stupid.
- There is a reasonable chance, a credible threat that I'm gonna hit you and I don't want you to have a bloody lip when we come back from commercial.
That should make sense to you.
Like I said, if I ever thought there was a chance you'd find out You just told me! I brutally hurt you and that's a fact.
And facts don't change.
But in my lifetime I've never done it intentionally.
I'm sorry.
Recap the House and then look at Colorado when we come back.
Yeah.
- Did you find out anything? - Yes.
A woman at the auction management company was moved by your story and a little concerned about going to jail for fraud, so she was happy to fax over the name and contact information of the person who bought the forged book, but you're not gonna be happy.
Was it bought by an inmate? I have a small, slightly disturbed following among white-collar criminals.
The book was bought by Sidney Falco.
- I don't know who that is.
- It's Tony Curtis.
Sidney Falco is a character from Sweet Smell of Success.
The highest bid was anonymous? All the bids are anonymous.
Joe Gillis is Sunset Boulevard.
Walter Neff from Double Indemnity.
Archibald Craven from The Secret Garden.
I don't understand this at all.
Someone wanted to create the impression of a bidding war.
So a total of nobody bid on the book? Except Sidney Falco from Sweet Smell of Success who, for some reason, bid himself up with other fictional characters.
Who cares? Someone gave $1,000 to Sandy relief and they think they have your signature.
- I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
- You're at the bottom.
- There are clues here.
- I don't think so.
- There could be clues.
- There aren't.
And you don't want to start looking for anagrams-- Let's start looking for anagrams of Sidney Falco and Sweet Smell of Success.
Okay.
I got your text.
- I've decided to counter-sue Jerry.
- Of course.
- I'm fighting back.
- What are you suing him for? - To fight back.
- I meant exactly what are you-- - You ready? - I'm sorry? - I said you ready? - Give it to me.
Intentional affliction of emotional distress.
- How do you even know? - I Googled it.
- There are four elements.
- One: He acted intentionally.
- By doctoring the tape.
- Two: His conduct was extreme and outrageous.
- He doctored the tape.
- Three: You suffered distress.
I am in extreme distress.
And four: His act caused your distress.
He doctored the motherfucking tape, Rebecca.
- You sound upset.
- Do I? He doctored the tape and he gets to sue us? I gave him a bad job recommendation 'cause he doctored the tape and he gets to sue me? - The people who want tort reform, they got a point.
- Yes.
The things you're allowed to sue for and be taken seriously.
And so we come face-to-face with just how stupid lawyers worry we are.
I lost you in the middle of that.
You know what it says on a box of chocolate pudding mix? "Caution, pudding will get hot when heated.
" Go to a hotel, you know what it says on the shower cap in the bathroom? "Fits one head.
" - You wear a shower cap? - I read.
And I'm dying to know the suit that prompted lawyers to insist on the shower cap directions.
Look at the box your iron came in.
It says, "Warning, do not iron clothes while wearing them.
" Do we really have to slow down for these people? Leona's leaving the decision to Reese.
I know.
That's not what you wanted.
I don't know what I want.
I want to keep doing the news.
Here.
With Elliot for Charlie.
I want to keep arguing with Mac and Will.
I want Dantana to iron his clothes while wearing them.
Could I get another Grey Goose on the rocks with three olives? - Sure.
- And you can just bring me some more champagne if it hasn't all been soaked up by your clothes.
- No, there's plenty more.
- Just joking with you.
- I'll be right back.
- Okay.
Don't shoot.
Charlie Skinner wasn't supposed to tell you I was here.
He didn't.
Someone tweeted a picture of you on the floor.
The center of gravity on champagne glasses is too high.
That's what I've always said.
And what happened to the old-fashioned ones from the movies? They're too wide.
They let the bubbles out.
I'm working right now.
Yeah, Maggie said you were working for a caterer.
On the side.
I still work at the store.
It was good seeing you.
I just have a minute.
We're waiting for some Senate information.
I think Sherrod Brown is gonna keep his seat and it's looking like McCaskill's gonna beat Todd Akin.
- Do you know how frustrating this is? - Careful.
I want to kick your ass right now, but I can't 'cause everyone else is.
There's no room.
So I have to feel bad for you instead.
If those are the only choices, I'd rather you kick my ass.
- You don't get to decide.
You know why? - I do.
- Do you remember standing in front of me and swearing - Yes.
- swearing that you didn't have feelings-- - I meant it.
You know that I found out from that fucking YouTube video, you asshole? I don't think there's a way it could have been worse.
- Excuse me, Lisa.
Is there a problem? - No.
It seems like there is because you're speaking rudely to a guest.
- And the incident earlier, that man was the president-- - There's no problem.
And considering the circumstances, she's being remarkably polite.
On the other hand, one of your servers is tweeting pictures from the party and you signed a confidentiality agreement.
Well, if that's true, it's serious.
- It is.
- I'll take care of it.
- Lisa, please be working.
- I'm coming now.
How do you know it was one of the servers? - It probably wasn't.
- I have to go.
I meant it.
When I stood in front of you and when I swore, I meant it.
- I believe you.
- Do you? Yes, it wasn't till after you got to know me that you rejected me.
- Champagne? - No, thank you, I'm good.
I didn't reject you.
And there isn't a way it could have been worse.
Grey Goose up, three olives.
Because at that point, my worst fear was realized.
- Spiders? - You get a kick out of yourself, don't you? I actually ordered this on the rocks.
My fault.
I'll fix that.
She got the number of olives right.
She's making progress.
- What was that? - I beg your pardon? Jim.
- I don't know what your worst fear is.
- That you think I'm stupid.
And stop trying to make up for it by defending my honor to a guy you can obviously beat the shit out of.
- Stop.
- I can't.
Do you think I think you're stupid? - I have to circulate.
- The whole time you thought-- I'm smart enough to know that I'm not smart enough.
- For what? - You.
- Stop walking.
- Can we drop it? Lisa.
- I don't get you.
- Maggie is downstairs being a news producer.
Your new girlfriend's in Boston covering a presidential candidate for her own website.
And I'm up here passing out drinks.
What evidence-- You're working two jobs.
You're thoughtful and you're authentic.
And I have never seen you sneer at anyone or anything.
There is, believe me, no one that you're not good enough for and there is hardly anyone who's good enough for you, including, it turned out, me.
I'm about to turn 30.
And you could just as easily be someone's date here tonight or married to their black Am Ex.
If they can make me laugh, I'd take a green one.
Did Maggie cut her own hair? - I don't speak to Maggie.
- You live in the same apartment.
We have our own lives.
Champagne? Strictly speaking, champagne should be poured immediately after the bottle's been uncorked, but because you're very beautiful, I'll make an exception.
Yeah, yeah.
Take the glass.
- Maggie's in bad shape.
- I don't care.
- I don't speak to Maggie.
- Please change that policy.
- No.
- She's in bad shape.
Because you're dating that reporter from the bus? - It's hard for me to sympathize.
- Not because of me.
- Because of Africa.
- What do you mean? I don't care.
Champagne? They don't want champagne.
Are you saying Maggie didn't tell you what happened in Uganda? No.
And again, I don't care.
Did she get hurt? Did somebody-- What are you saying? You have to ask her.
I can't tell you if she doesn't want you to know.
But she wants you to know, so you have to ask her.
No.
Did she cut her own hair off? There was hair on the bathroom floor.
We're gonna make the Senate call in Missouri and Ohio and we'll be throwing it to DC in 10 or 11 minutes.
- Copy.
- But if we're able to call Florida, or for that matter, the race, just send it back.
You're not gonna let DC call the race? Just send it back.
We'll try not to drop sarin gas on anyone while we do.
If you've got something to say, Jane, you should say it to me and not to the people in this control room who simply did what I told them to do and did it well.
And I have people here who could live without Genoa on their resumes, so I'm not sure from where you get the nerve to insist that Will call the race.
I get the nerve from my mother.
But for the record, it was a DC producer who committed journalistic malpractice.
And if I were you, I'd be going through every story he ever produced for you frame by frame to find out what else he's cooked along the way.
Good advice.
Let me know if you have any recommendations for your job when I take Will's chair in New York.
It's Charlie Skinner, Jane.
Send it back to New York when Mac tells you to.
- Copy that.
- The desk says go on Senate.
We're ready to go on the Senate.
McCaskill and Brown.
Because this is something that needs to be kept in mind.
- The entire world-- - Sorry, we're gonna make an important call.
Two big races in the US Senate.
ACN is projecting that in Ohio, Sherrod Brown, the Democratic incumbent, will be reelected and Claire McCaskill, the Democrat from Missouri, will keep her seat as well.
Elliot, what does that mean for the Senate? It's now mathematically impossible for the Republicans to take control of the Senate, even if Romney wins tonight and Paul Ryan becomes the tiebreaker.
So we're projecting now that Harry Reid will stay in the majority leader's office.
Taylor, should the Democrats be sending the Tea Party a basket of mini muffins and a thank-you card for that? I think the Democrats have a lot of gift baskets to hand out.
Chris Christie, the media-- - Whoa.
- Okay.
Hold the phone.
I can feel warmth about to happen.
What media are you talking about when you say media? - 'Cause there are a lot of us.
ACN? - Yes.
Ah, well.
Please continue.
I worked in the Romney press shop and I can tell you that on average over the last six months, News Night did about Republicans to every one Hey, Molly.
It's New York.
- Copy.
- Coming to you shortly.
Stand by.
If Republicans do does that mean the unbiased thing to do would be for us to concoct - Are we doing this now? - We're doing this.
- Go to Molly in St.
Louis.
- Then let me give you another statistic.
- Almost nobody-- - No, we're going to St.
Louis first.
- Okay.
- Molly Sadler is with the McCaskill campaign at the Omni Convention Center.
Molly, do I have to ask what the mood is there? I would say the mood is jubilation, Will.
Is there a chance I can get you to ask Hallie a favor for me? - What's the favor? - I need her to post a story tonight.
Which I've already written-- About the effect the debates had on the outcome.
In this story she quotes Mac, who's identified both as the EP of News Night and a former president of the Cambridge Union.
That's the only way to get Wikipedia to change the entry? - Yeah.
- Are you proud of your army of citizen journalists? Have you called any more elections on your own? - No.
- Just the one? I'll ask her.
But, you know, she's a little busy.
And ethical.
I'd like to do this for Mac tonight as a gift.
I'll do it when I have a minute.
The left doesn't have a version of the Tea Party.
What's OWS? There wasn't an OWS candidate on the ballot tonight.
The left's crazy people hardly ever run for office.
And when they do, they don't win.
Who's Allen West on the left? Who's Joe Walsh or Michele Bachmann? A 14-1 ratio of negative stories and your takeaway is is that there's a problem with the storyteller.
What are your thoughts about that, Taylor Warren? - Cannot remember the question.
- Any word from Reese? - He's still walking.
- He's what? He's walking.
He's walking around the neighborhood with a Rockette.
Presumably trying to decide how to announce the personnel changes and how much money to pay Dantana to not file in the morning.
- What's a Rockette? - The dancers.
He's dating a Rockette.
A real one.
Is there anything that'll convince you it wasn't your fault? Get together with Sloan and talk about a 90-second segment on income and voting preferences.
- Okay, Jane, we're coming to you.
- If I can jump in Let's go to DC for a whip-around on the Senate.
I have to cut you off there and throw to Jane Barrow and our panel in Washington.
Jane, the Republicans will control the House and the Democrats will control the Senate.
A billion dollars later, are we right back where we were? - That's the question I want to put to our panel - We're out.
DC has the con.
5:30 back.
No.
No what? There's nothing that'll convince me.
I just got an e-mail with an attachment.
- From me? - Yes.
The attachment was an article about the effect of the debates on the election.
- Yeah.
- You know who wrote it? - Neal.
- Nope.
- I can explain.
- The byline says I did.
- He knew you were busy.
- What the hell is going on? We need someone who doesn't work here to post an article that contains the information that MacKenzie was president of the Cambridge Union and not the Oxford Union so that Wikipedia would edit her page.
- You know, now that I'm saying it-- - Not until just now? - What's the mood there? - What's the mood there? - I know.
I know.
- Okay, well, I have to go.
It's starting to sink in that they're gonna lose Florida.
And between you and me, he didn't write a concession speech.
- Can I ask you something? - I really do have to go.
So do I, but do I ever make you feel like you're dumb? Seriously, honey, what's going on there? I'm asking because I really like you and I don't want to blow it.
Well, first of all, you're not smart enough to make me feel like I'm dumb.
I was hoping you'd say that.
And I really like you, too.
You're not blowing it.
I knew there had to be a reason why I liked you so much.
'Cause just physically, you're hard to look at.
- You're not so much homely - Talk to you soon.
as you are just weird-looking.
- Jim.
- Yeah? Maggie says to tell you they're 93 votes apart now and you'd know what that means.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
The gender income gap starts at 50K.
Men 50K and above are breaking for Romney.
Women at 50-200K were more likely to vote for the president.
And it's the top 1% of female earners that went red.
Now here's where I'd like us to focus because this is crucial.
- I'm sorry, but they need you.
- Wow.
- They're calling Ohio.
- We're on our way.
You're back in 90 seconds.
We'll pick this up after, okay? We're calling both, and we're ready to go to Chicago.
- Tess.
- I'll get estimates from Boston.
- Thank you.
- And let's get Ben standing by.
I don't see Sloan.
Is that Sloan out there? We'll go without her.
We're calling it.
Get in the studio.
go blue, and that takes the president to 262.
At that point, he has a lot of different roads to 270.
Colorado, Florida, Ohio and Virginia in that scenario.
Any one of those states would throw the president over the top.
Getting Mitt Romney to 270 at this point seems very, very difficult.
So the president's getting closer and closer 270.
He's winning in the states he needs to win - What I have can't be taught.
- Get her in the chair! I mean, it really started in the last hour when Florida started to slip away.
We're hearing from very unhappy Republicans.
But right now we're going to Will McAvoy in New York who's got a new projection.
Will.
It's 11:14 in the East and ACN is able to project that Barack Obama will be living in government housing for the next four years.
President Obama has been reelected President of the United States, Ohio having just put him over the top.
Once again, the ACN decision desk is calling Ohio and the White House for President Barack Obama.
We're gonna go live to Suzannah Marquez and show you some images from Chicago where the celebration is under way.
Will, as you can see, the news has gone through this crowd and the celebration has begun.
How about "binders full of women"? Was the media response to "binders full of women" in rational proportion? That's a perfectly good question.
Thanks, I was asking it to you.
And now he's losing.
Why'd you cut your hair? I wanted a change.
I'm not crazy about it either.
The stylist kind of talked me into it.
- Maybe I'll get used to it.
- There wasn't a stylist.
You cut it yourself.
You cut off your hair and dyed it a different color.
Lisa told me.
How would Lisa know? How did you not tell her what happened in Africa? - Did you? - No.
- Don't.
- How did you not tell your best friend? - It's been a year.
- And it's been a year since we were friends.
He's losing by 17 votes with 8,000 votes uncounted.
Why did you cut your hair? He'd never seen blonde hair before.
While I was reading to him, he was playing with my hair.
So I cut my hair.
- How'd it work? - It didn't.
Right.
I'm trying to find out where the uncounted votes are, but even if-- Listen.
Listen for a second.
You went back into the building.
You went back in there.
You and Gary.
You pulled him out from under the bed.
- You weren't going without him.
- He was safer under the bed.
Bullshit, Maggie.
You pulled him out and you carried him on your back to the bus.
What was your crime? You turned around when you heard Gary fall down.
There's a difference between being tough and wanting to be.
You and Mac are tough.
Don's tough.
I want to be.
You are.
You know when I first noticed you? When I ran into the room and got tackled by Mac's luggage? Did you know-- No.
It was funny, but I didn't notice you until later.
There was a beep.
It was an iNews alert.
But it was yellow.
You've got a news alert.
- Nobody was paying attention to it.
- It was yellow.
You clicked on it anyway.
You couldn't help yourself.
You ran back into the building.
He's dead and I'm alive.
That's what I'd keep in mind.
It's after midnight now and I feel like I can ask a question.
- Sure.
- I meant to Will.
Yes.
Who did you vote for today? You know I'm not answering that.
I thought you might because you revealed your party affiliation on the air last year.
I did.
I identified myself as a Republican because I thought it was fair to give to the viewer given the commentary I was delivering.
A commentary that ended with you calling the Tea Party the American Taliban.
- Yes.
- And in the body of the commentary - was a blistering indictment of Republicans.
- Exactly the opposite.
It was a blistering indictment of people who aren't Republicans.
- Well, who's to say who is and who isn't? - On that night, I did.
I want to remind you you asked me to pursue this area.
- I understand.
- And I'm wondering, with all respect, do you call yourself a Republican so you can make a claim to credibility when you attack the GOP? No, I call myself a Republican 'cause I am one.
I believe in market solutions and I believe in common sense realities and the necessity to defend ourselves against a dangerous world and that's about it.
Problem is now I have to be homophobic.
I have to count the number of times people go to church.
I have to deny facts and think scientific research is a long con.
I have to think poor people are getting a sweet ride.
And I have to have such a stunning inferiority complex that I fear education and intellect in the 21st century.
But most of all, the biggest new requirement, really the only requirement, is that I have to hate Democrats.
And I have to hate Chris Christie for not spitting on the president when he got off Air Force One.
The two-party system is crucial to the whole operation.
There's honor in being the loyal opposition.
And I'm a Republican for the same reasons you are.
So I hope your voice gets louder in the next four years.
Well, I don't like losing, so count on it.
You know, just jumping on top of that idea-- - I'm sorry, Sloan.
- Come on! We're gonna go to Jane Barrow in Washington for an update on some West Coast House races.
Plenty more coverage coming tonight.
Jane? - And clear.
- Are you doing it on purpose now? No, it's just working out unbelievably well.
You ever read Jedediah Purdy, For Common Things? No.
He talks about cynical times.
People having terminal irony with a studied refusal to hope or care openly.
- Does that sound like us? - No.
No.
Have you asked yourself tonight why we never reported the Petraeus story? - The Petraeus? - Remember? David Petraeus is resigning on Thursday.
- We didn't report it.
- That's funny.
I forgot.
Yeah.
It's because we never made the trade.
The decision was that the other story had information voters needed, the Petraeus story didn't.
Not that many voters.
It would have affected maybe a few thousand, tops.
In one district, one seat.
As opposed to breaking two days early what will be a giant story.
Breaking it in front of an Election Night audience.
And the decision to decline the trade was made instantly and unanimously.
Don pushed back reflexively, but he came around in seven seconds.
Don.
We've come a long way.
I'm not resigning.
And neither are you.
What, are we out of our fucking minds? Dantana doctored the tape.
That's what happened, Will.
We know the truth and the mob doesn't.
When did we decide it was an institutional failure? We waited 11 months.
We know people who would have gone after the second red team meeting or even the first.
You agree with what I'm saying? I believe, except for the things we did wrong, we did everything right.
And I can't live with Mac taking the blame for-- We'll get the audience's trust back.
Like Leona said, we're gonna overcome the terminal irony.
And the laundry list of embarrassing things in the complaint? I've got to tell you, I'm not embarrassed.
The Zimmerman tape, Jim going to New Hampshire, Sloan punching a guy in arbitrage-- I actually like that one.
I can't tell what you're thinking.
Will? It's gotten strange now.
Are you able to hear me speaking? She-- Except for the things she did wrong, she did everything right, too.
- The rest was me.
- I'm lost.
Uh, yes.
We're going to do the things you just said for the reasons you just gave.
I missed parts of what you were saying at the end, but that's just gonna have to be-- I'll be right back.
Yes! Way to go.
Yeah, no, I'm definitely resigning.
Does anyone know where MacKenzie is? - I think she's in the hair and makeup room.
- She's not.
- Did you look in her office? - So, no, no one knows where she is? We're back in seven minutes, so she's gonna turn up.
- Have you seen Mac? - I haven't.
But I have facts about the Great Lakes region.
Right this moment is the least I've ever cared about the Great Lakes region.
Has anyone seen Mac? I'm right here.
Okay.
I didn't-- - Could you come here away from the cameras? - Yeah.
There's-- Okay, okay-- - There's a story.
- What? There's a story about a little kid who keeps shredding paper and his parents take him to all kinds of doctors to get him to stop shredding paper.
And finally they take him to the most expensive doctor in the world who turns to the kid and he says, "Kid, if you stop shredding paper, your parents will stop dragging you to doctors.
" And the kid turns to his parents and says, "Why didn't you just say so?" - Well, all right, then.
- The point of the story is that the kid could make himself happy by just stopping.
I think that's the point.
I don't know.
I've been trying to figure it out.
But I didn't return it.
Because I'm in love with you.
- What did you say? - And because of-- Will you marry me? - Wait.
- I said will you marry me? And before that, I said I'm in love with you.
That's-- that's-- That's what I'm getting at.
I feel like I can do this so much better if I can have a second.
What in the fuck is happening right now? If-- if I-- I don't ever want to not be-- No.
I love you.
I'm gonna go back to that.
And will you marry me? And let me just say I really think you should.
I think you should say yes.
But no matter what you say, there's no chance I am ever gonna hurt you again.
And no matter what you say, I'm gonna be in love with you for the rest of my life.
There's no way out of that.
That's just a physical law of the universe.
- You own me.
No matter what you say - Yes.
- I will never stop-- - Yes.
I'm saying yes.
You're saying yes? Yes.
Thank God.
Took you long enough.
Seriously? That's what your-- Shut it.
So your mother was a Rockette? That's right.
And her mother, too.
- Third generation Rockette? - Yes.
How great is that? - And if you were to have a daughter - Crazy lady.
which would be my granddaughter, would it be important to you that she also be a Rockette? - I don't think important, but if she-- - Okay, good.
- Charlie.
- 'Cause over here you have a Harvard MBA.
Over here you have a line of synchronized nutcrackers.
- Charlie.
- Reese.
Leona.
Rebecca.
- I'm sorry, I don't know who-- - Jackie.
I'm here with Reese.
Third generation Rockette.
That's how we roll.
I've studied the findings of the report and I've consulted with counsel and I've reached the conclusion that the news division handled Genoa as well as I'd want it handled.
Furthermore, this company will give Dantana money when a federal judge orders us to do so.
And furthermore after that, I don't take my instructions from a petition.
If you read Jedediah Purdy's excellent book For Common Things-- What, did you e-mail everybody excerpts? - Yep.
- I'm not accepting your resignations.
We're not resigning.
That's fine, but I'm surprising you by taking the high road - and I'm not accepting your resignations.
- We're not offering them.
This isn't about the bottom line.
This is a bad business decision, but it's a good decision.
- I'm doing the right thing.
- There's no right thing to do.
I've already made the decision that we're staying.
The wrong thing to do would be to accept your resignation.
That's not an option, 'cause we're not offering them.
- You two about done? - History should reflect that I acted admirably.
There's really no way of knowing that.
Is it possible the greater glory belongs to me? You're all idiots.
Not you, you're sweet.
Everyone, just listen up for just a second.
This'll just take a second.
First of all, no one's resigning.
And the only reason you need is 'cause I said so.
Also I think we're just starting to get the hang of this.
More importantly, I would like to introduce the future Mrs.
MacKenzie Morgan McHale McAv-- That's not gonna work.
What?! - I'll be damned! - I know.
I know.
I know.
- Wake him up.
- Cynthia's office should draft a statement.
Let's start identifying who our friends are.
That shouldn't take long.
What did you do? I wrote it myself.
A gift from new media.
Thanks for that Romney interview.