Turbo FAST (2013) s02e09 Episode Script

1 [engine revvs.]
# - Whoa! - Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast - # Turbo - Woo! # - [vehicles beeping.]
- [jackhammer thudding.]
Our new maggot shelter is coming along nicely.
Now these helpless little strays won't have to live on the streets.
Oh, they're so cute! - I just want to squeeze them! - [squeaks.]
I'm gonna call you Wiggles.
Can we keep it, Chet, please? I promise to feed it.
Boo, remember what happened to that plant I gave you? How was I supposed to know plants don't like root beer? - [maggot squeaking.]
- Now look what you did! [squeaking.]
Ah, yeah.
Looks like we can check off that feeding trough.
I can't believe we're gonna waste our precious tomatoes on maggots.
They like 'em mushy.
[maggots cheeping.]
- Whoo! - Oh, yeah, baby! [grunting.]
Get your head out of there! Hey, Skid! We're about to let the maggots out of the place! You done building that outdoor pen yet? Huh? Oh, right, I knew I was doing something.
But then I saw this Chupacobra alert app, and that was way more interesting.
Look, I've had enough.
I am tired of you not following through on anything lately.
Oh, please.
Name one other thing I haven't finished.
Well, let's see.
There was that new shell you made Smoove.
- [disco music playing.]
- [all laughing.]
[Whiplash.]
Chet's swimming lesson.
And don't even get me started on that alien autopsy.
- [gasps.]
- Uh, is that blue snail coming back? He's still got my spleen.
Okay, okay, sheesh! I said name one other thing.
Run free, you lovable larva! [bugle blowing " First Call".]
Get them back inside! The pen's not finished! [gasps.]
This way, everyone! Come on, Wiggles.
That's it, this way.
[whimpering.]
[gasps.]
There's only one thing to do.
Let me take it home and love it forever! Nope.
Skidmark couldn't follow through on his one job, and this little maggot paid the price, so You're gonna nurse this maggot back to health, you got it? I don't have to listen to you! You're not my real dad! Sorry.
Reflex.
Please continue.
- No racing.
- Oh! - No smartphone.
- Wha No anything fun until that maggot can walk again.
- Fine.
- What was that? Fine, sir! That's more like it.
Heh.
Easiest chore I ever had.
I mean, look at you.
You might as well be broccoli.
So, uh, nurse, how long we talkin' till this guy's walking again? Like, an hour? Two hours? Tail injury like this? Couple of weeks at least.
Weeks?! But there's a fresh Chupacobra spotting to investigate now! [groaning.]
Aha.
[doorbell rings.]
[gasping.]
[Skidmark.]
Ta-da! Well, the maggot can walk again, thanks to this old robot body I had laying around my lab.
See? Loves tomatoes.
So cute.
Anyway, looks like my job is done.
Now to investigate that Chupacobra.
This ain't exactly what I meant when I said [roaring.]
Oops, I meant to disable his original programming, but then I thought, "Oh, I should update my Critter status," and then you know how it goes.
Can't stop scrolling.
Hey, Mel got a new mustache comb.
Gotta heart that.
Skid, focus! The robot, what was its original programming? Oh, right, yeah.
To become an evil robot overlord and destroy everything in its path.
[electronic voice.]
Tomatoes! Why would you build an all-powerful robot of destruction? So my good robot could defeat it and save the day.
Duh! Great! Let's go get the good robot to keep this thing in check.
Well, the thing is, I actually haven't finished the good robot yet.
I, uh I haven't started it, really.
The plans are done.
Uh, okay, okay.
You got me.
I started the plans, but [sighs.]
Why am I not surprised? Probably from past experience.
Anyway, how bad could a giant, laser-wielding evil robot be? Aah! Okay, so this is pretty bad.
But on the bright side, I got some mad evil robot programming skills.
Am I right? Eh? Eh? Uhh! Just one taste.
Those tomatoes are for our infallible overlord.
[mumbling.]
Why'd he have to take our tomatoes? Get back to work, you mangy mollusks! These things aren't gonna smoosh themselves! [sighs.]
I'll go talk to him.
[chokes.]
[snoring.]
Uhh! Come on, Chet, you love these tomatoes.
How can you watch them get smooshed and fed to that mechanical monster? These stalks weren't made for manual labor, Turbo.
I'm weak, weak! [electronic voice.]
Tomatoes! I'm sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.
[screaming.]
Coming, Your Evilness! [sighs.]
I always knew he'd turn on us to save his own shell.
Come on, guys, we can't just roll over like Chet.
There's gotta be a way to take this thing out.
There's not.
It's hopeless.
Nothing is hopeless.
We can outrun it and Nope.
Slime-seeking missiles.
Well, we could fry its electrical systems with Burn's Not gonna work.
Fireproof.
Do you have anything useful to add to this conversation, or are you just gonna shoot down every idea we have? Yes! There's only one way to stop this thing.
I'm listening.
We must work together, for when our powers are combined, we are unstoppable! It's time to form Snailtron! Activate Inter-stalks! Dyno-feets connected! Infra-shells up! Megamollusks are go! - What does any of that mean? - No idea! [all.]
Let's go, Fast Action Stunt Team! Form funky legs.
Form arms and belly! Roar! And I'll form the face! Uh, Skid? According to the latest Chupacobra update, the slippery beast is here! Is it you?! Are you kidding me? Get up here, Skid! [all.]
Whoa! [all grunt.]
[bleats.]
Hey, what happened to Snailtron? You happened to Snailtron! Or should I say, didn't happen.
[sighs.]
All right, I've got a new plan to take this thing down.
And, Skid, if you bail on this one, you better hope that robot gets to you before I do.
Hey, Maggotron! We're done taking orders from you! Yeah, and we're taking our tomatoes back! [gobbling.]
[belches.]
[electronic voice.]
Tomatoes! [roars.]
[roaring.]
Why'd you have to make him angry? You won't like him when he's angry! - Aah! - All right, gang, scatter! We gotta give Skid time to disable this thing.
Man, whoever wired this thing really phoned it in.
Oh, that's where I left my lunch.
No, no, focus.
Manual shutdown, manual shutdown.
Of course! Always the last place you look.
'Cause who keeps looking after you find it.
That's a silly phrase.
Aah! Aah! Uh Aah! [Turbo.]
No, not the Teen Rec Center! [sighs.]
Uh-oh.
- Whew.
- [cracking.]
I should've seen that coming.
[Skidmark.]
It takes a very steady hand.
Aah! Hey, Skid, no pressure, but we're all counting on you to take out this robot that you built and set loose on our city! And it's probably gonna kill us all! Yeah, but the way you keep going makes it sound like a lot of pressu Oh, I see what you did there.
Aah! Will you quit moving? [dings.]
Did I seriously just hear him say "quit"? Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, but I think it was poor judgment giving him the most important part of this plan.
[grunting.]
Go! [electronic voice.]
Tomatoes! [whirring.]
[electronic voice.]
Tomatoes! Ha! I was trying to get the robot to quit moving, but this worked out way better than I planned.
Well, that's a quitter I can live with.
And would you look at that? You actually followed through on something, and it saved the day.
I did, didn't I? Is it over? Who won? I need to know where my allegiances lie.
You just stick with me, Boo.
[kisses.]
- [maggot cheeping.]
- Hey, little guy.
I think he's okay.
[wails.]
[whimpering.]
Well, it's a good thing you learned your lesson about finishing things, Skid.
Because now you can finish nursing this maggot back to health, the old-fashioned way this time.
The old-fashioned way? Then I'm gonna need a postwar lab coat, snake oil tinctures, and a whole mess of leeches! [all.]
Oh, Skidmark.
So, I spend a month dropping hints that I want to go to Hawaii, and the best you can do is a picnic at some run-down old mini-golf course? Correction: it's a Hawaiian picnic.
'Cause of the flowers.
Pretty Hawaiian, huh? - # Aloha 'oe! Aloha 'oe! # - [growls.]
[sighs.]
If this is such a romantic picnic, what's Third Wheel Wally doing here? I'm sorry, Boo.
He just seemed so down in the dumps lately.
I wanted to cheer him up, and I may have double-booked my picnic date.
Aww, what's wrong, Turbo? Why are you wrecking our date and being so weird? Sorry, guys.
Just been kind of gloomy lately.
I don't know why.
- Well, it sounds you're lonely.
- Have you tried online dating? It didn't really work out.
I gotta be honest, you don't really look like your profile picture.
- [squawks.]
- Aah! I'll call you! Aw, cheer up, T.
I'm sure there's a nice girl out there looking for somebody just like you.
Of course, she may have already found someone just like you, so you might be out of luck.
[female voice.]
Somebody? A little help here? Or not.
Go get 'em, Romeo! [hissing.]
Back off, spidorks, unless you want to lose a leg or eight.
[hisses, grunts.]
Ha ha ha! The queen will pay handsomely for you, sweetie.
[straining.]
[hissing.]
Hey, how about you spiders pick on someone your own size? She is our size.
You're smaller.
Oh, yeah.
I, um Aah! [screaming.]
Whoa-oh-oh-oh! Ha! Uhh! [screaming.]
Ahh.
[both.]
Hi.
Aah! [blows raspberry.]
Whew! Thanks, Whip.
What are you doing here? Chet asked me to watch you in case you were being a bummer and ruining his date.
[whispers.]
You were.
Are you okay, uh, ma'am? Miss? I don't know your, uh It's Thora, and I'll be fine once I get this ugh! webbing off me.
It's like string made of boogers.
Eh, it's like they always say: It looks like silk, but it's snot.
[laughs awkwardly.]
If I pretend to laugh, will you promise not to tell any more jokes? - Deal.
- [laughs.]
- I'm Turbo.
- Still Thora.
Hey, thanks for the save before.
I wish I had your speed.
I wish I had arms and wings, so that makes us even III guess.
These wings? They don't really fly.
Plus, I'm always sitting on them.
Oh, well, if you want to fly, I might be able to help you with that.
[laughs.]
[sighs.]
Turbo's having more fun on our date than we are.
How come you never take me flying, Chet? - I take you flying all the time.
- Not to Hawaii! Again with Hawaii! Then the goldfish landed next to the trampoline, barfed up Whiplash, and we just went back to the party.
Ha ha! So, basically, you never have a normal day.
Well, it's no fairy tale kingdom, but we see our share of action.
Trust me, the whole living in a castle thing gets real old, real fast.
I want to go to space, or ride a taco tank.
I want adventure.
Well, you know, meeting someone special could be the greatest adventure of all.
[laughing.]
I'm sorry, that's just the corniest line I've ever heard.
Heh.
Yeah, I was just, uh, joking.
No, you weren't, but I think that's why I like you.
You're cute.
I could just eat you right up.
[male voice.]
There they are! [gasps.]
Lord Klasp! What are you Fear not, Princess.
I shall defend you from this slimy outsider.
Slimy? Outsider? I'm Actually, I'm both those things.
But I don't care for the attitude, pal.
Wait.
You're a princess? Presenting Her Majesty Queen Tarsa.
- Hi, Mom.
- What is the meaning of all this? I caught this peasant consorting with the princess.
Hey, brother, what's better: going to Hawaii for real, or going to Hawaii in our imagina-a-a And we'll come back later.
Mom, I was attacked by spiders.
Turbo saved me.
He's noble and courageous and very, very cute.
And his friends aren't bad, either.
- Your Majesty, I must protest.
- Silence, Lord Klasp.
These snails have shown great bravery.
It is my royal decree that they be knighted.
Knighthood? Well, it's about time.
- Congratulations, Sir Whiplash.
- Why, thank you, Sir Burn.
[whispers.]
Sir Turbo, what are your intentions with my daughter? Well, I was sort of gonna ask her on a date.
Dinner or maybe badminton.
Quick, Thora, do you like badminton? - I love it! - Score! I mean, do you wish to court her? Like, do I like like her? Yes, Your Majesty, I like like her very much.
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, Sir Turbo.
Perhaps at long last we've found a suitor worthy of my daughter.
Turbo, you'd really lose your head for me? That's an odd way to phrase it.
I already have.
At noontime on the morrow, Princess Thora shall have Turbo's head in royal marriage.
"Head"? Doesn't she mean "hand"? Uh, garden snail, isn't this a little sudden? Hey, I like to do things fast.
[giggles.]
[sighs.]
Any chance you could turn down the sighing a few notches? Can't help it.
I'm just so happy.
Oh, for the love of Look I'm not saying Thora's not great and all, but we're pretty sure she's gonna bite your head off.
Bite my head off? Come on.
Chet and Burn fight all the time, and they still make it work.
No, shell-head, Thora's a praying mantis.
Lay some Internet on us, Chet.
"Ninety percent of the females of all species of Mantodea"that's mantises "including the Stagmomantis californica" that's Thora "are known to consume the heads of their chosen males.
" That's you, Turbo.
Short, non-nerdy version: she's gonna bite your head off after the wedding! Face it, Turbo, maybe you found the perfect gal, but she found the perfect entrée.
I'm sorry, I'm way too in love to listen to you.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find some more bow ties.
Thora says they accentuate my neck.
Uh, let him go.
You can't stop a snail in love.
So we'll have to sneak him out ourselves.
Right.
I'm the best man, so I'll grab Turbo before the ceremony.
Hold up, blueberry.
Since when are you the best man? Um, since always.
I'm his brother.
I'm his mentor and his best friend.
- I grew up with him.
- I taught him how to race.
- I changed his diapers! - That is just stinky! - We have the same last name! - We don't even know what that is! Ah, we would've made a fortune ransoming the princess.
If I could just get my hands on her and that Turbo.
You won't ever lay a hand on the princess, loathsome arachnid.
As for Turbo, well, I have a proposition.
[organ playing.]
[laughing.]
I'm best man.
Turbo wouldn't have won the Indy 500 without me.
So what? He wouldn't have Wait, why are we still fighting about being best man? We don't even want this wedding to happen.
Oh, sweet mother of marmalade.
We forgot to make a plan to save Turbo.
What do we do? They have that thing in weddings where you can object, right? Of course.
I'll object.
Uh-uh.
It was my idea.
I'll object.
Shh! Will you two keep it down? ["Wedding March" playing.]
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to witness the marriage of Turbo and Thora.
May Thora take Turbo to honor and decapitate, in sickness and in headlessness.
[gulps.]
If anyone objects to this union Here it comes.
speak now or forever hold your peace.
- [both.]
I obj - I object! - [crowd gasps.]
- I don't understand.
You don't want to get married? I do want to marry you, and I really do like like you.
I'd just really rather not get my head bitten off.
But getting married and then decapitated is the ultimate act of true love.
Everyone knows that.
Um, I think wedding decapitations are just a mantis thing.
I know.
I just really liked spending time together.
Me, too.
Please forgive me.
[sobbing.]
Oh, heck! This is getting too real.
If we don't get married, would you still want to be friends, maybe have an adventure sometime? You know, the not headless kind.
More than anything.
[crowd.]
Aww! - [crowd screaming.]
- Turbo! I demand vengeance for your cruel theft of Thora's heart.
- Wedding's off.
- Now, fight! Or be I beg your pardon? Wedding's off.
No vengeance needed.
Oh.
Well, then Thora, for so long I have yearned for your affections.
I humbly offer you my heart and my head.
He can give you the one thing I never could: a head to eat.
Then my answer is yes.
The royal wedding is back on.
The royal catering deposit is saved! - [cheering.]
- [sobbing.]
I always cry at weddings.
[sniffling.]
[honking.]
[wailing.]
I now pronounce you dinner and wife.
You may eat the groom.
[slurps.]
[whispers.]
Thank you.
Look on the bright side, garden snail.
Thora's about to be single again.
[laughing.]
[whispers.]
Call me.
[wink.]
[screeches.]
- [chomps.]
- [vomits.]