Weird Science s02e09 Episode Script
Switched at Birth
Check this out.
My folks just go me these now.
New components.
Now I can watch digitised movies.
I can talk to people all over the world on the internet.
And I can maice these neat little sound effects.
[ cow mooing .]
I can do that moo [ car horn honks .]
- [ knock on door .]
- Wyatt? Oh.
Here you are.
Listen, about this weekend.
Something's come up.
[ In Girl's Voice .]
Mom, I thought you said.
I thought we were all going to the Apollo Exhibition.
But my womens club called an emergency brunch.
What about Dad? He's still going right? He's stuck in Denver.
I'm sorry, Wyatt.
Why don't you and Gary go do something fun.
Yuk! Couldn't you just hide in a closet or something? Can't believe my folks are blowing me off again.
This sucks.
Are you kidding? You've got a CD-ROM and cash prizes in one day for no reason.
There is a reason.
Guilt.
They bailed on our weekend and the CD-ROM's because they're going on a Christmas cruise and leaving me alone wirth Chett.
Your parents are leaving you alone on Christmas? That's so [ violin music .]
Sad? He's lucky, my folks drag me up to some kokey cabin in the mountains, we drink eggnog roast chestnuts, my mom makes us sing carols, go outside chop down a tree.
Yada, yada, yada.
Then he dresses up like Santa and I'm supposed to pretend that I believe in him.
You're lucky.
I never see my parents.
Yeah, well, mine never leave me lone.
They still think I'm five years old.
Hey, we could trade.
Trade what? Families.
It would be a vacation.
Can you do that, Lisa? I don't think that's such a good idea.
I'm with her.
CHETT: Hey, buttercramp! Oh! You, dead, you know why, you know how, you just don't know when-- Okay, let's switch.
Hold on.
I'm a little stuffed up.
So, what did you guys decide? We're swtiching! We are? Cool.
Are you sure about this? Alright.
So when's it start? It starts when it starts.
You'll know.
Ah, the category is the human body.
You want to play with us, Gary? No.
Big surprise.
I guess we're not exciting enough for me, cool.
Oh, come on, honey, it's frivolous facts.
Oh, this is a toughie.
You ready? Wait, don't you answer.
If you laid your intestines out end to end how long will they be? Hey, your mother asked you a question.
How long are your intestines? How long are your intestines? Um 25 feet.
- He's right.
- Let me see that.
Are you sure you don't want to join us, Gary? Really? Just sit down and play frivolous facts as a family? No, as a flock of geese.
Just play the game.
MOM: Wyatt, you're on your own for dinner, I'm doing an overnight at the hot springs.
The hot springs.
Right.
Oh, here's the gold card in case you run out of cash.
Wouldn't want that to happen.
Welcome to Wyatt World! How do you like it so far? There's no place like home.
Do you care for more jello salad, Gary? No, thanks, Mom.
I'm stuffed.
Wasn't that a great dinner, Dad? You bet.
Thank you.
Are you watching this? He wants something.
Oh, you don't know that.
Maybe our Gary is finally maturing.
Ah ha! My stereo, my big screen TV.
My surround sound, my empty house.
My wad of cash and my mommy's gold card.
What do you think you're doing, butt breath? Listen to my stereo in my living room.
Dingle berry.
- What? - Take a walk, you big ugly freak.
You have the right to beg for mercy, you have the right to be buttkicked.
This canon will be used against you, if you choose to scream, your screams will not be heard above my laughter.
Are you nuts? That's Mom's, put it down.
I think I'd rather break it.
- She'll kill you.
- No, because I'll tell her you did it.
So, I'll tell you I didn't.
If it comesdown to my word against yours who do you think they are going to believe? Me the straight a never a worry son or you the psycho rejectson.
Ah.
This is not over.
I made us some popcorn.
So, what's on tap this weekend, Dad? Go ahead, Al, talk to him.
He's reaching out.
You never care about what I do.
Well, I do now.
I'm sure that your father is spending another weekend with Lola.
Lola? Wow.
A 55 Thunderbird.
Gar, I'm mean I didn't know you had a car like this, did I.
Yeah, Lola's really coming together, isn't she? She's got it all.
I love old cars.
Since when? You're always yammering that new ones are better.
Are you kidding? This is a classic.
Do you think maybe I could give you a hand sometime? I could use the help.
Son.
Hey.
Hey, Moms, how was the cellulite wrap? Ah, what have you done to my house.
I bought you a vice steamer.
Oh, this is from my gold card.
They were concerned about the accelerated activity on my account.
In two days you have managed to spend over 10,000 dollars.
Relax, Mom.
Pretty soon you're going to forget this ever happened.
Ah.
What's happened to you? I thought we'd seen the last of your troubles when we sent you to therapy for that superhero thing.
What superhero thing? When you wore my panty hose on your head and made us call you, Nylon Man.
Oh, yeah.
I forget about that.
[ Phone Rings .]
Oh, that must be your father now.
Now you are grounded until we can figure out what to do with you.
Ten thousand dollars? No wonder she was so [ Lion Roar .]
Yeah, come on we're meeting Wyatt at the Javaman.
- You're grounded.
- No, I'm not, Wyatt is.
WOMAN: Here you go.
Ah, your money is no good here.
Gary, come on.
Better let him do it, Wyatt.
He owes you.
So, what have you and my folks been up to? Your dad and I have been working on Lola.
Lola? Oh, come on, Gary, don't you ever talk to him? Lola's his sports car.
Well, I knew he was fixing up some old car but I didn't know he named it.
That's weird.
Lola's beautiful, and when we finish, me and Dad are going to enter her in a car show.
- My dad.
- What? You said "me and Dad"? You mean't me and your dad? Oh, yeah.
So, how's things going with you? Great, great, living large.
Unfortunately Gary's been living a little larger than you did.
Okay, so I'm in a little bit of trouble with your folks.
But it's minor, nothing Lisa can't fix.
Right, Lisa.
Right.
What happened? Where did she go? I think the spell just wore off.
Back to the poor house.
Come on, there must have been a power surge in the computer or something.
We better make sure Lisa is okay.
Welcome home, Wyatt.
How was your day? Why are you being nice? You'll see.
I think I'll let Mom give you the good news.
- I thought I grounded you.
- Grounded? I've never been grounded.
Oh yeah, you're grounded.
Your father and I agree it's time we learned from our mistakes.
We don't want to wait until it's too late.
Like we did with your brother.
- What? - Here it comes.
You're going to love this.
Now, the semeter's already started, but we managed to pull a few strings and get you into Westmount right away.
- Westmount? - What's Westmount? Westmount Military Academy.
My alma mater.
Say howdy to ther worst four years of your life, sis, guaranteed.
You were here for less than 48 hours.
How did you manage to ruin my life in 2 days.
Oh.
It's not my fault.
I thought once the spell ended everything would go back to normal.
Well, it didn't.
Don't freak, you're not going to to military school.
Whatever I did we can just ask Lisa to fix it.
Right.
Lisa.
I won't freak.
- Uh-oh.
- Where's my computer? Got me.
Consider it a first instalment.
It's been sold to help pay this credit card bill.
Don't worry, Wy, I know about Nylonman.
I think it will help you a get a section 8.
How can you do this to me, Gary? If I don't track done that computer, we'll never find Lisa.
If we don't get Lisa back I go to military school.
Just find out who your mom sold it to.
Check the receipt.
I'm trying.
I can't break the stupid lock.
I got it.
It never ends with you, does it? I'll call you back.
Well, there you are.
I've been looking for you.
What'd I do? What'd I do? Ha ha! What a kidder! You push my funny button.
I've got a surprise for you, son.
Keep them closed.
Okay.
Okay, open.
Wow! Lola, right? Aint she something? I finally got her back in shape.
With your help.
Oh, I didn't really help all that much.
Ah.
Gary, ah, I'm not very good at this kind of stuff, but these last few days have mean't an aweful lot to me.
Well, happy early birthday, son, she's all yours.
I am so disappointed in you.
Criminals pick locks, Wyatt.
I'm at a loss, my therapist is at a loss.
Can you explain where all this rage is coming from.
No! Ah! Grr! What do you think you are doing? Moving in.
This is my room.
Ah.
Ah.
Your room's going to be a 2x2 concrete bunker with a stainless steal pain in the corner as your best friend.
- You're lying.
- Oh, good denial.
That's the only way you're going to make it out alive.
That and an elaborate system of bribes.
Which reminds me.
Here, a carton of smokes.
That will get you in good the MP's Ah, you make it sound like prison.
Ha ha! Oh, dream on.
Tell me the truth, is it really that bad? Yeah, it is.
Take the chow for example.
What doesn't kill you, usually makes, you blind.
And then there's the morning drill, obstacle course, hand to hand combat, training, ten mile dash.
But don't worry that's all out of the way by sunup.
You'll be okay, little bro.
I mean, look at me.
Westmount made me the man I am today.
Ha ha! Stop packing, I've got a plan, it's radical so bear with me.
I'm listening.
Full disclosure, we tell your mom everything.
Everything? It's so simple, it's brilliant.
You tell your mom you made a magic woman, this woman lives in your computer.
She has to buy the computer back so the magic genie can come out and fix everything, and this plan doesn't work at all.
Okay, plan B.
I push you off the roof.
You'll only break a few bones.
There's no way she's going to send you to military school in a full body cast.
Plan C, you move to Canada.
Gary, stop.
There's nothing you can do.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
I guess this is goodbye.
Will you stop being so noble and slap me or something.
I'd rather you off the roof.
Hey, champ.
Hey, how can a guy with such a beautiful car have such a long face, huh? No reason.
Come on, you can tell me.
What is it, school trouble? Girl trouble.
It's not car trouble, is it? Dad, if you needed to come up with some quick cash what would you do? Paper route, mow a few lawns, babysit.
I need 10 grand.
Oh, you could rob a bank.
What's all this about? It's not for me, Dad.
I have a friend who is in trouble.
And you want to help out.
You are some kind of great kid.
No, I'm not.
I just need to figure out a way to get him out of this.
I wish I could help, but I don't have that kind of money.
Thanks, Dad.
You are okay? Wyatt, your father would have flown in but he didn't want you to see him cry.
Hmph.
When I had to go he insisted on driving.
I hope you understand why we're doing this.
No.
It's because we care.
Write us everyday, okay.
Chett.
We'll miss you.
- You will.
- Of course we will.
But we'll see you at Christmas.
You'll be on your cruise.
Well, we'll just have to the the cruise some other time.
Really? We can spend the holidays at home this year as a family.
I'd like that.
Goodbye, son.
- Be good.
- Bye, Mom, Chett.
So long, sis, they're going to kill you.
Ha ha! Mrs Donnelly, please you've got to listen to me.
Wyatt doesn't belong in military school.
He didn't do anything.
It was me.
Really, Gary? Do you expect me to believe that.
Think about it.
Wyatt is the perfect son.
Would he charge all of that stuff to your credit card, make all those 976 calls.
No.
And you know why, because he doesn't know how to have that much fun.
Good point.
I didn't mean for it to happen.
I got my hands on your credit card.
I guess I went a little wacko.
You did the right thing by stepping forward.
But there's still the little matter of the credit card bill.
Her name's Lola.
She was a showcar.
In your own unique way you've been a good friend to Wyatt.
But what about the ten grand I owe you.
Most of that garbage you bought can be returned.
I can't take your car.
I will however speak to your parents.
Couldn't you just take the car? Chett, get his bags.
Come on, let's go home.
Thanks for getting me out of that, Gary.
Welcome back, Nylonman.
Wait a minute, you made me go to military school, you've got to make him go.
I barely made it out alive.
I was clinicly dead four time during hazing! It's not fair! Mommy.
We must have tried Lucky for me you did.
Ooh, yeah.
That's the spot.
So Gary, how are you feeling? Well, let's put it this way, everythings back to normal.
I'm poor, I had to give Lola back and my dad called me a boob.
But you know what the worst part is.
[ Al .]
Gary, what are you on vacation? You've got bills to pay.
Move your butt! He still wants to spend time with me.
Well, see you in September.
Captioned by Grant Brown
My folks just go me these now.
New components.
Now I can watch digitised movies.
I can talk to people all over the world on the internet.
And I can maice these neat little sound effects.
[ cow mooing .]
I can do that moo [ car horn honks .]
- [ knock on door .]
- Wyatt? Oh.
Here you are.
Listen, about this weekend.
Something's come up.
[ In Girl's Voice .]
Mom, I thought you said.
I thought we were all going to the Apollo Exhibition.
But my womens club called an emergency brunch.
What about Dad? He's still going right? He's stuck in Denver.
I'm sorry, Wyatt.
Why don't you and Gary go do something fun.
Yuk! Couldn't you just hide in a closet or something? Can't believe my folks are blowing me off again.
This sucks.
Are you kidding? You've got a CD-ROM and cash prizes in one day for no reason.
There is a reason.
Guilt.
They bailed on our weekend and the CD-ROM's because they're going on a Christmas cruise and leaving me alone wirth Chett.
Your parents are leaving you alone on Christmas? That's so [ violin music .]
Sad? He's lucky, my folks drag me up to some kokey cabin in the mountains, we drink eggnog roast chestnuts, my mom makes us sing carols, go outside chop down a tree.
Yada, yada, yada.
Then he dresses up like Santa and I'm supposed to pretend that I believe in him.
You're lucky.
I never see my parents.
Yeah, well, mine never leave me lone.
They still think I'm five years old.
Hey, we could trade.
Trade what? Families.
It would be a vacation.
Can you do that, Lisa? I don't think that's such a good idea.
I'm with her.
CHETT: Hey, buttercramp! Oh! You, dead, you know why, you know how, you just don't know when-- Okay, let's switch.
Hold on.
I'm a little stuffed up.
So, what did you guys decide? We're swtiching! We are? Cool.
Are you sure about this? Alright.
So when's it start? It starts when it starts.
You'll know.
Ah, the category is the human body.
You want to play with us, Gary? No.
Big surprise.
I guess we're not exciting enough for me, cool.
Oh, come on, honey, it's frivolous facts.
Oh, this is a toughie.
You ready? Wait, don't you answer.
If you laid your intestines out end to end how long will they be? Hey, your mother asked you a question.
How long are your intestines? How long are your intestines? Um 25 feet.
- He's right.
- Let me see that.
Are you sure you don't want to join us, Gary? Really? Just sit down and play frivolous facts as a family? No, as a flock of geese.
Just play the game.
MOM: Wyatt, you're on your own for dinner, I'm doing an overnight at the hot springs.
The hot springs.
Right.
Oh, here's the gold card in case you run out of cash.
Wouldn't want that to happen.
Welcome to Wyatt World! How do you like it so far? There's no place like home.
Do you care for more jello salad, Gary? No, thanks, Mom.
I'm stuffed.
Wasn't that a great dinner, Dad? You bet.
Thank you.
Are you watching this? He wants something.
Oh, you don't know that.
Maybe our Gary is finally maturing.
Ah ha! My stereo, my big screen TV.
My surround sound, my empty house.
My wad of cash and my mommy's gold card.
What do you think you're doing, butt breath? Listen to my stereo in my living room.
Dingle berry.
- What? - Take a walk, you big ugly freak.
You have the right to beg for mercy, you have the right to be buttkicked.
This canon will be used against you, if you choose to scream, your screams will not be heard above my laughter.
Are you nuts? That's Mom's, put it down.
I think I'd rather break it.
- She'll kill you.
- No, because I'll tell her you did it.
So, I'll tell you I didn't.
If it comesdown to my word against yours who do you think they are going to believe? Me the straight a never a worry son or you the psycho rejectson.
Ah.
This is not over.
I made us some popcorn.
So, what's on tap this weekend, Dad? Go ahead, Al, talk to him.
He's reaching out.
You never care about what I do.
Well, I do now.
I'm sure that your father is spending another weekend with Lola.
Lola? Wow.
A 55 Thunderbird.
Gar, I'm mean I didn't know you had a car like this, did I.
Yeah, Lola's really coming together, isn't she? She's got it all.
I love old cars.
Since when? You're always yammering that new ones are better.
Are you kidding? This is a classic.
Do you think maybe I could give you a hand sometime? I could use the help.
Son.
Hey.
Hey, Moms, how was the cellulite wrap? Ah, what have you done to my house.
I bought you a vice steamer.
Oh, this is from my gold card.
They were concerned about the accelerated activity on my account.
In two days you have managed to spend over 10,000 dollars.
Relax, Mom.
Pretty soon you're going to forget this ever happened.
Ah.
What's happened to you? I thought we'd seen the last of your troubles when we sent you to therapy for that superhero thing.
What superhero thing? When you wore my panty hose on your head and made us call you, Nylon Man.
Oh, yeah.
I forget about that.
[ Phone Rings .]
Oh, that must be your father now.
Now you are grounded until we can figure out what to do with you.
Ten thousand dollars? No wonder she was so [ Lion Roar .]
Yeah, come on we're meeting Wyatt at the Javaman.
- You're grounded.
- No, I'm not, Wyatt is.
WOMAN: Here you go.
Ah, your money is no good here.
Gary, come on.
Better let him do it, Wyatt.
He owes you.
So, what have you and my folks been up to? Your dad and I have been working on Lola.
Lola? Oh, come on, Gary, don't you ever talk to him? Lola's his sports car.
Well, I knew he was fixing up some old car but I didn't know he named it.
That's weird.
Lola's beautiful, and when we finish, me and Dad are going to enter her in a car show.
- My dad.
- What? You said "me and Dad"? You mean't me and your dad? Oh, yeah.
So, how's things going with you? Great, great, living large.
Unfortunately Gary's been living a little larger than you did.
Okay, so I'm in a little bit of trouble with your folks.
But it's minor, nothing Lisa can't fix.
Right, Lisa.
Right.
What happened? Where did she go? I think the spell just wore off.
Back to the poor house.
Come on, there must have been a power surge in the computer or something.
We better make sure Lisa is okay.
Welcome home, Wyatt.
How was your day? Why are you being nice? You'll see.
I think I'll let Mom give you the good news.
- I thought I grounded you.
- Grounded? I've never been grounded.
Oh yeah, you're grounded.
Your father and I agree it's time we learned from our mistakes.
We don't want to wait until it's too late.
Like we did with your brother.
- What? - Here it comes.
You're going to love this.
Now, the semeter's already started, but we managed to pull a few strings and get you into Westmount right away.
- Westmount? - What's Westmount? Westmount Military Academy.
My alma mater.
Say howdy to ther worst four years of your life, sis, guaranteed.
You were here for less than 48 hours.
How did you manage to ruin my life in 2 days.
Oh.
It's not my fault.
I thought once the spell ended everything would go back to normal.
Well, it didn't.
Don't freak, you're not going to to military school.
Whatever I did we can just ask Lisa to fix it.
Right.
Lisa.
I won't freak.
- Uh-oh.
- Where's my computer? Got me.
Consider it a first instalment.
It's been sold to help pay this credit card bill.
Don't worry, Wy, I know about Nylonman.
I think it will help you a get a section 8.
How can you do this to me, Gary? If I don't track done that computer, we'll never find Lisa.
If we don't get Lisa back I go to military school.
Just find out who your mom sold it to.
Check the receipt.
I'm trying.
I can't break the stupid lock.
I got it.
It never ends with you, does it? I'll call you back.
Well, there you are.
I've been looking for you.
What'd I do? What'd I do? Ha ha! What a kidder! You push my funny button.
I've got a surprise for you, son.
Keep them closed.
Okay.
Okay, open.
Wow! Lola, right? Aint she something? I finally got her back in shape.
With your help.
Oh, I didn't really help all that much.
Ah.
Gary, ah, I'm not very good at this kind of stuff, but these last few days have mean't an aweful lot to me.
Well, happy early birthday, son, she's all yours.
I am so disappointed in you.
Criminals pick locks, Wyatt.
I'm at a loss, my therapist is at a loss.
Can you explain where all this rage is coming from.
No! Ah! Grr! What do you think you are doing? Moving in.
This is my room.
Ah.
Ah.
Your room's going to be a 2x2 concrete bunker with a stainless steal pain in the corner as your best friend.
- You're lying.
- Oh, good denial.
That's the only way you're going to make it out alive.
That and an elaborate system of bribes.
Which reminds me.
Here, a carton of smokes.
That will get you in good the MP's Ah, you make it sound like prison.
Ha ha! Oh, dream on.
Tell me the truth, is it really that bad? Yeah, it is.
Take the chow for example.
What doesn't kill you, usually makes, you blind.
And then there's the morning drill, obstacle course, hand to hand combat, training, ten mile dash.
But don't worry that's all out of the way by sunup.
You'll be okay, little bro.
I mean, look at me.
Westmount made me the man I am today.
Ha ha! Stop packing, I've got a plan, it's radical so bear with me.
I'm listening.
Full disclosure, we tell your mom everything.
Everything? It's so simple, it's brilliant.
You tell your mom you made a magic woman, this woman lives in your computer.
She has to buy the computer back so the magic genie can come out and fix everything, and this plan doesn't work at all.
Okay, plan B.
I push you off the roof.
You'll only break a few bones.
There's no way she's going to send you to military school in a full body cast.
Plan C, you move to Canada.
Gary, stop.
There's nothing you can do.
Maybe it won't be so bad.
I guess this is goodbye.
Will you stop being so noble and slap me or something.
I'd rather you off the roof.
Hey, champ.
Hey, how can a guy with such a beautiful car have such a long face, huh? No reason.
Come on, you can tell me.
What is it, school trouble? Girl trouble.
It's not car trouble, is it? Dad, if you needed to come up with some quick cash what would you do? Paper route, mow a few lawns, babysit.
I need 10 grand.
Oh, you could rob a bank.
What's all this about? It's not for me, Dad.
I have a friend who is in trouble.
And you want to help out.
You are some kind of great kid.
No, I'm not.
I just need to figure out a way to get him out of this.
I wish I could help, but I don't have that kind of money.
Thanks, Dad.
You are okay? Wyatt, your father would have flown in but he didn't want you to see him cry.
Hmph.
When I had to go he insisted on driving.
I hope you understand why we're doing this.
No.
It's because we care.
Write us everyday, okay.
Chett.
We'll miss you.
- You will.
- Of course we will.
But we'll see you at Christmas.
You'll be on your cruise.
Well, we'll just have to the the cruise some other time.
Really? We can spend the holidays at home this year as a family.
I'd like that.
Goodbye, son.
- Be good.
- Bye, Mom, Chett.
So long, sis, they're going to kill you.
Ha ha! Mrs Donnelly, please you've got to listen to me.
Wyatt doesn't belong in military school.
He didn't do anything.
It was me.
Really, Gary? Do you expect me to believe that.
Think about it.
Wyatt is the perfect son.
Would he charge all of that stuff to your credit card, make all those 976 calls.
No.
And you know why, because he doesn't know how to have that much fun.
Good point.
I didn't mean for it to happen.
I got my hands on your credit card.
I guess I went a little wacko.
You did the right thing by stepping forward.
But there's still the little matter of the credit card bill.
Her name's Lola.
She was a showcar.
In your own unique way you've been a good friend to Wyatt.
But what about the ten grand I owe you.
Most of that garbage you bought can be returned.
I can't take your car.
I will however speak to your parents.
Couldn't you just take the car? Chett, get his bags.
Come on, let's go home.
Thanks for getting me out of that, Gary.
Welcome back, Nylonman.
Wait a minute, you made me go to military school, you've got to make him go.
I barely made it out alive.
I was clinicly dead four time during hazing! It's not fair! Mommy.
We must have tried Lucky for me you did.
Ooh, yeah.
That's the spot.
So Gary, how are you feeling? Well, let's put it this way, everythings back to normal.
I'm poor, I had to give Lola back and my dad called me a boob.
But you know what the worst part is.
[ Al .]
Gary, what are you on vacation? You've got bills to pay.
Move your butt! He still wants to spend time with me.
Well, see you in September.
Captioned by Grant Brown