Wrecked (2016) s02e09 Episode Script

1 Previously on "Wrecked" When I heard you singing today, it brought back a lot of memories of my dead lover.
A few years ago, my men and I raided a cruise ship.
Luther worked there as an M.
C.
- Me and Todd are - We're getting married! Yay! I don't really think I'm gonna go to the wedding.
- What? - Chris here just asked me - if I want to go with him.
- I have feelings for you! I have feelings for you, too! You got to fight for what's yours, buddy.
- Conga! - Whoo! [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
I just got to say, this is the greatest night of my entire life! Oh! Just feels so right, you know? Florence?! Florence, wait.
Owen.
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC SLOWS.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[SOBBING.]
[GAGS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[COUGHING.]
Is it bad? It ain't good.
What happened? Did the engine just blow? No.
There's explosives residue on this wall.
What are you saying? This was no accident.
This was sabotage.
- What?! - Are you kidding? - It was done on purpose?! - Whaaaaaaaaat?! But who?! Who? Okay, everyone, listen up! Someone blew up our engine.
Someone in this room.
And none of us are gonna leave until we find out who it is.
Lock the doors.
Why do you get to call the shots? Because, Pack, I'm the closest thing to a detective we've got.
You faked being a cop.
Which is why I'm the closest thing to a detective we've got! Now, first thing we need to do is establish alibis.
Who was at the wedding when the engine blew and who wasn't? Obviously, I couldn't have been the one that done it because I was passed out at that table with a bowl of shrimp.
And sources have told me that someone wrote the word "cock" on my face.
Where are Steve and Karen? They're checking out the engine, and Florence said that they definitely were at the wedding.
They were here, all right.
Mmm! Now let's say we take you to the bathroom and get you pregnant.
Huh? Okay.
I'm so high.
[SHUDDERS.]
Okay, so how do we figure out who was here and who wasn't? I'll tell you, Pack.
I'm gonna interview you one by one.
Enough! [GRUNTS.]
Jess and I are hungover, okay? And [AS BORAT.]
my wife gets very emotional when she's hurting from booze.
Like, who would even do this? Like, at my wedding! It's like I just got married! So we need to wrap this up real quick.
Why don't we just re-create the conga line? The what? When the engines blew to shit, we were right in the middle of a stone cold conga.
All we have to do is re-create the line, everybody remember who was behind them, and skadoosh we know who was at the wedding.
Wow.
That's a really good idea.
TODD: No shit, Florence.
I'll allow it.
All right, everyone, conga up.
Let's go! Come on! Well, it is official.
The engine is shot to hell.
We are dead in the water.
Really? There's nothing you can do? You can't stick a new piston in there or grease some pipes? You trying to turn me on? What?! No! Jesus, Karen! 'Cause it is working.
I was high, all right? That's never gonna happen again.
Well, we'll see about that.
It's fate, isn't it? Everywhere I go, something shit happens.
I get on a plane, it crashes.
I become leader of the island, my gun kills someone.
I'm just I'm so tired of the world bending me over and giving it to old Steve.
I'll give it to old Steve.
Stop it, Karen! You're gross! [SIGHS.]
No.
It's time for old Stevie boy to fight back.
Yeah.
I'm gonna control my own fate from now on.
Karen what do you suggest I do? We need to find a backup generator.
- There's only one problem.
- What's that? You'll have to go down into the bowels of the ship.
It's the one place we haven't looked yet.
Come on, hands on hips, people.
- All right, all right.
- That's my foot.
Wait.
You weren't behind me, were you? Uh, yeah.
I, uh, said your dress was beautiful, remember? Thank you so much.
Oh, you're welcome so much.
DANNY: Okay, this is everyone.
Who wasn't here when the ship blew? Owen.
- Owen wasn't here.
- Yeah, maybe he's Okay, I can explain.
You guys, it's Owen.
We all know him, and most of us like him.
I'm sure he has a perfectly good explanation.
No, yeah, I'm sure he does.
Owen, none of us want to believe that you blew up the ship.
So just, you know, tell us where you were.
I don't really think that's relevant.
Uh, feels pretty Goddamn relevant.
Okay.
Fine.
Uh, I was with Florence at the wedding.
And then we went out into the hallway [BOTH MOANING.]
[GIGGLING.]
And as you may well be aware, Todd and Jess served pretty much exclusively champagne and creamed corn [STOMACH RUMBLES.]
Wow.
- [RUMBLING CONTINUES.]
- Yeah.
Um Should we go back up there? Yeah, yeah.
I'll be right behind you.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Don't take too long.
- Okay.
[RUMBLING.]
[FARTING.]
Eeeeeew! Eeeeeeeew! - You? - Yeah.
- In your - Yes.
Right after we kissed.
This is why I didn't want to talk about this.
Okay, is everybody satisfied? Well, if you are telling the truth, then you won't mind if we go down to your room, right? Kind of look around for evidence.
Okay, fine, you guys want to come look around, be my guest.
But I think you will find that there's nothing to see here.
Oh, no.
I swear, I have no idea how these got here.
Wait a minute.
How many grenades does it take to blow up a cruise ship engine? One.
Ha.
There's one grenade missing.
[GASPS.]
Okay, well, there you go right there.
Do you guys honestly think that I went and blew up the engine room and the left a bandolier of grenades on my bed? What's a bandolier? That's kind of a weird word to know, huh? Yeah, totally.
It's the thing they're in.
It's the sash.
Seems to me you know an awful lot about grenades.
Okay, so because I know big words, I must be guilty.
Guilty and precocious.
Do you mean pretentious? - (BLEEP) you, nerd! - Hey, relax.
You're lucky I don't fight on a full stomach, - 'cause I ate a lot of creamed corn.
- Babe, would you just relax? - Hey, Pack? - Yeah.
- What's that over there? - Where? Just right there, under the pillow.
Under the sheet, really.
Right there, that Yeah, what, is that a book there or something? Oh, this is a I think this is a journal or something.
A journal.
Owen's journal? Let me see that.
Guys! Pack just found Owen's journal.
- What? - You keep a journal? No, I don't keep a journal.
Oh, my God.
What, what? What is it? It's an entry from last night.
You know when the engine exploded.
- Oh, my God! - Oh! Guys, this is insane! "Dear journal, tonight is the night.
I can take it no longer.
" [GASPING.]
Come on, Steve, you can do this.
Generator.
Must find a generator.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
"Generator Room.
" Okay, well, this This might be it.
Oh! Oh! Oh, God.
This probably won't even open.
- [CLANGS.]
- Oh, God, it's opening.
Oh, God.
Nothing to be scared of in here.
Just, uh, some piping.
And, uh, we got more More piping.
And your basic ship-style piping.
- Almost like a ship would - [CHAINS CLANGING.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, God! Don't kill me! - Don't kill me! - Don't kill me! Don't kill me! Tell her I'm ready to dance if she wants me to dance.
Her love shines over my horizon She's a slice of heaven Slice of heaven Moonlight over my horizon - She's a - Luther? Yes? "TBH, if we ever get home, Florence will realize" that I'm a tiny, pathetic little turd of a man that doesn't deserve her love.
That's why I have to destroy the ship and make sure that she never, ever leaves me.
IMHO, journal, it's the only way.
"TTYL, Owen.
" - Dude! - What? Florence, do you honestly think I would write something like that? No.
It's just you did sound worried about going home.
- What?! - Busted.
Not enough to sabotage the ship.
Danny, you know me better than anybody.
- Come on.
- Do I? Because you don't seem to have much time for me lately.
What? I don't want to jump to any conclusions here, but if the bandolier fits, it's like, come on, what are we doing? - You know? - You did this.
You set me up! Huh? What? Me? I set you up? Uh, you think I faked an entire journal to set you up? Owen, come on.
I mean, there's like a hundred entries in here.
Does it sound like I would even write this? Here, how about this one.
Uh, "Pack, A.
K.
A.
off-the-rack Dev Patel.
" - Dev Patel?! - "Seems to shout everything.
" - [CLEARS THROAT.]
- [QUIETLY.]
Racist.
Or what about this one? Uh, "Jess only likes Todd" because she's got a boner for morons.
" - [GASPS.]
- What does that even mean? - Seriously, what does that mean? - I don't know.
I think it's pretty obvious what's going on here.
Okay.
Owen wrote the journal.
And Owen blew up the ship because Owen is obsessed with Florence.
- Hey! - Guys! No! - Oh, my God! - What are you doing to me?! He tried to kill me! - Okay! - [SOBBING.]
Oh, God.
[GROANS.]
Seriously, guys? A drunk tank? It's for everyone's safety, Owen.
I mean, who knows what else you're capable of.
Now, where is the key? Danny, come on, prison? It's just until we figure things out.
You know I would never do something like this.
- What is going on with you, man? - Exactly.
You have no idea because you've been too busy swapping spit with your stupid girlfriend! How do you know who I am? Are you with her? Who? The Barracuda? [SCOFFS.]
Hell no.
We control the ship now.
She's gone? Ha.
I'm saved.
I'm saved! I don't understand why you're chained here.
The Barracuda said you were dead.
You see, I was her lover, but I got tired of being a sex toy on the Red Hot Chili Peppers' cruise ship.
You can get too much of a good thing.
So I tried to escape, but she chained me up in here.
Jesus! She's a piece of work.
Oh, you could say that again.
I, too, was the Barracuda's lover.
Ah, yeah, I can see that.
'Cause you're a really cool guy.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, thanks.
I think you're a pretty cool guy.
She's obviously got a type.
The cool guy type.
Oh, you're the cooler guy.
A lot of women don't go for the cool guy.
Yeah, that's her thing.
And when they do, look what happens.
Luther, do you believe in fate? I don't know at the moment.
Just 'cause recently, I've had a lot of bad luck, man.
Hey.
Thanks.
[SOBS.]
I've had a lot of bad luck, too.
Yeah, I know.
And I'm just I'm talking about me, man.
Okay, sorry.
Perhaps it's all been leading to you.
You know, maybe maybe I was meant to find you.
You mean like it was BOTH: Our destiny.
[METAL GROANING.]
[SIGHS.]
Phew! For a second there, I was like, "Maybe I was wrong.
" I know.
I was having one of those is what I call a "really moment," where you Where just something happens, and all you can think of to say is, "Really?" - Oh, yeah.
- You know? You ever do that? I do the same with "seriously.
" I was like, "Seriously?" When I heard that noise, I was like, "Uh-oh, what" [LOUD CLANG.]
Oh, really?! Seriously?! What do you think this is about? I think the ship is sinking.
- Really? - Seriously.
Shit, let's get out of here! [GRUNTS.]
I wish I could say I'm surprised, Owen, but I kind of had a feeling you'd end up here.
[WATER DRIPPING.]
Oh, shit.
Wait, are we sinking? The blast must have done more damage than we thought.
You guys got to let me out of here.
- We got to go warn the others.
- Corey, unlock the door.
- What? - BOTH: Open the door! Right, yeah, sorry.
Okay, come on.
Let's go! - Jesus! Oh, God! - Ow! - Hey! - What are you doing?! What I should have done from the very beginning.
Corey, open the door! No! Why are you doing this? You idiot! You still don't get it, do you? Oh, my God.
Yes.
You blew up the ship.
That's right.
And no one suspected a thing.
I did! I literally just said you did this.
You want to know why I did it? Why? For Florence! This whole thing is obviously for Florence.
It's always been for Florence.
Florence, that's the motive.
I have loved her for a long time.
I remember the first time we met.
God, we don't have time for this! Come on! Sir, are you okay?! Hey! [INDISTINCT SHOUTING.]
[COUGHING.]
[GAGGING.]
What the f Wake me in the morning With a kiss of love Touch me soft and gentle on my brow COREY: It was a classic whirlwind romance.
And then, of course, I saved her life.
God, I'll find you in this life or the next, because I swear - Hurry the (BLEEP) up?! - Yep, you got it, okay.
Goodbye, my love! - Bye.
- Goodbye! And fate brought us back together.
Speak to me of all the precious time we shared Kiss me once again And make me smile Hallelu, hallelu Hallelujah You know what they say.
If you love someone, let them go.
And if they come back to you, you get to keep them Forever.
What the (BLEEP) That is not the phrase at all.
Of course it is! She's mine! Last night was the greatest night of my entire life! Until you had to get in the way and kiss her with your little turd mouth.
Corey, if you leave us in here, we will die.
You need to give us the keys.
You know what? You're actually right.
What am I doing right now? This is insane.
Here, take the keys.
Let's hurry up.
Let's get out of here.
No, you're gonna pull your hand away when I reach for them.
Danny, be be real right now, all right? - I'm trying to help you out.
- Really? Yes, I'm not gonna pull them away.
I'm not a child.
I'm a grown man.
Wow, thanks, man.
- No, Danny! - [GROANS.]
Why would I give you the keys?! Are you thick? I said I said he was gonna do that.
I'm gonna put them over here where they are just out of reach.
What about Danny? Huh? You're gonna go up there without him, everyone's gonna come looking for him.
They're gonna find us and know that you trapped us.
No, that is not what happened.
You guys conked me, and then you escaped.
- What? - Yes, you did.
- Oh! - Oh! Now, why did you do that?! Why did you conk me?! We didn't! We didn't conk you! - Yes, you did! - Oh! - God! - Oh! [SOBBING.]
It hurts! You're escaping! You're escaping! [LAUGHING.]
Time to die.
Oh.
Danny, I completely forgot.
Without your little pep talk, I would have never had the courage to really fight for Florence.
So thank you.
See you later, boys.
- T, no! - No! - Hey! - Corey, please! Hey! This whole journal doesn't make any sense.
There's all this Internet slang in here.
Like, "SMH, FML, ROFLcopter.
" What the hell is "ROFLcopter"? Rolling on the floor, laughing, helicopter? I don't know.
The dude was a nerd.
It just doesn't seem like Owen, you know? Well, maybe you didn't know him as well as you thought you did.
They escaped! They escaped! What the hell happened to you? Danny and Owen got the jump on me down below deck.
Conked me.
What? I mean, I got got some pretty good hits in, too.
I mean, I roughed them up pretty bad, actually.
- Where are they now? - I don't know.
Said something about trying to get off the ship before it sank.
[MURMURING.]
What do you mean, "before it sank"? Oh, right! Yeah, the ship, it's sinking.
- The ship is sinking?! - What?! - The ship is sinking?! - Abandon ship! [SCREAMING.]
[BOTH SCREAMING.]
[BOTH SCREAMING.]