Yonderland (2013) s02e09 Episode Script

It's like a, sort of, family reunion and we all have a good laugh.
It's horrible, isn't it? My favourite line in Yonderland is, "Euuuuugh!" I accessorised with a hairy sporran.
I am wearing a surgical support, as we speak.
She's there! She's within me! He's the naughty one, I think.
I don't think I've ever had a job quite like this.
It's quite nice to be a bit badass.
That's like drunk people having a chat.
"Euuu-uugh!" Elstree Studios, London.
Home for 22 hours a day to Carol Jenkins, cleaner on Sky1 comedy Yonderland.
It's 8am and Carol is setting off to what she loosely calls "work", here in Studio Nine.
Morning! And we are going with her.
Headlights up, please.
Shooting.
Shh! There had always been stories of a creature in the wood but no-one had ever seen it, until now, and if it's not stopped, the last Fahl will surely die.
And stop recording.
With the bell signalling that the cameras have temporarily cut, Carol rushes in to give the set of the Elders' chamber a dust, polish and tidy up.
Carol, leave it! Causing numerous continuity issues for Yonderland's director.
It's been wonderful to come back to Yonderland and be reunited with many of the original Well, of course, the whole original cast but many of the crew.
It feels like coming home, in a way, and I'm loving being back here.
It was hectic last year.
This year it's full-on.
Actually I am wearing a surgical support, as we speak.
There's so much depth, so much wit, so much laugh-out-loud funniness.
One of my favourite characters, and it's not a big character in the scenes, is a, kind of, Slavic Russian hunchback lackey of the Imperiatrix.
It's a cliche character, classic hunchback Igor.
"Careful with that brain, Igor!" He's that sort of character, but Ben just Because Ben is such a suave and attractive, handsome guy, to see him hunchbacked, going for this big physical comedy, you know, it just made me laugh a lot.
I loved it.
I loved every moment of it.
It's always the actors.
They bring more to it in the read-through, they bring more to it on the set and they bring more to it on the take.
Kill the blob! Smash him in! Kill the blob! Gouge his eyes! Eat his face! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I thought you were a vegetarian.
Is he not a vegetable? Grey area.
Like fish.
The atmosphere onset gets tense sometimes.
It's bound to.
We're all human beings.
But it's because everybody wants to do their best, you know, everybody is up against the clock and being human beings with human failures, we do sometimes It gets tense.
90% of the time it's a joy.
It's absolutely, it's a dream.
It's a dream job.
It's 10am and unspotted by security, Carol heads in to vacuum the lair of evil overlord Negatus, played - to a degree - by Simon Farnaby.
Oh, it's great getting back together.
I mean, we spent a bit of time together throughout the year anyway.
It's always great fun.
It's like a sort of family reunion and we all have a good laugh.
It was a dark night in the swamps of Astley! We were beaver-whacking.
Whacking beavers.
From dusk till dawn, my friends.
Just for kicks and gigs.
Mmm.
Anyway, I digress Negatus gets a, kind of, Ofsted inspector come to inspect his being-a-baddiness, called Anous.
Negatus is in charge, as a demon, so to have someone in charge of him and he has to, sort of, look over his shoulder all the time.
He's, kind of, a proper baddy, really.
He's, sort of, the baddy that Negatus should be or wants to be but is too much of a of a gobby idiot to be.
We had this idea that Negatus very rashly kills Anous and then realises that Anous has to report back to Imperiatrix or Negatus is in trouble, so we had the idea, why don't the puppets, sort of, reanimate Anous and make him report back to Her Eminence? And that day was a lot of fun.
All the art department had done a great job with all these winches and pulleys and Neil was between his legs with, like, a stick on his chin, making him move his mouth.
Demons are great.
It's a bit like, you know, meeting the cast again after a long time, you know, we have a laugh with each other, bit of banter.
Rita, sort of, flirts with me.
He's alive, my love! Yes, this My lord.
Neil's quite bright, actually.
And Jeff obviously is an idiot.
They are like, sort of, old pals, really.
Midday, and over on stage five, Carol is busy lightly tickling the face of what can only be described as Mathew Baynton.
The joy of making a show like Yonderland, for us, is the sheer sort of variety of it.
Putting something in a fantasy world allowed us to, sort of, raid the dressing-up box and play all these different characters and there's no, sort of, limit on our imagination, in terms of what we can write.
Everything we do in Yonderland - 99%, at least - is in camera.
We don't do CGI and that, sort of, stuff.
The thing that I find most thrilling is walking around the sets, because we've got so many, kind of, different places we go to this time, that you'll be filming over on stage seven and then you come over here, to stage five, and you'll see this creation for this episode that's just been the subject of conversation.
All these people have made it a real thing, so, yeah, there's so many reasons why it's a fun job to do.
My favourite line in Yonderland is, "Euuuuuuuuugh!" Which is Jim as the crone.
We've all, sort of, come to terms with part envy - that there will always be parts that you wanted to play, that you have to watch a friend play, and go, "Mmm, I suppose he's really good.
" And there will always be parts that you know that everyone else probably wanted to play and that you get to and Admiral Anous, I think, is probably one of those, because it's an opportunity to play a real through-and-through villain.
Anous, release them.
POP! All I have to do, really, is show up and I look terrifying and just say the lines quite quietly and not move too much, and everyone goes, "Wow, that's "It's a really scary performance, man.
" I'm like, "No, it's two and a half hours in make-up.
" One of the perks of Carol's job is the chance to rub shoulders with the stars of Yonderland, including the demi-talented Laurence Rickard, who is not her favourite.
You know, first series of anything, you're always, kind of, slightly finding the style of it and finding the tone and working out which characters are going to work and which ones aren't, so you kind of go into a second series with a lot more confidence with the characters and stories that are returning.
One of the things that, hopefully, comes across is the fact that, you know, it looks like we're having fun, because we genuinely are and so And a little bit of that, in so far as our schedule allows, is a bit of a trying to make each other laugh competition.
Jim knows how to turn on the little twinkle in his eye at exactly the right moment in the line you're saying where you're most likely to trip up.
It's, kind of, very, very supportive, 90% of the time, and then the other 10% of the time, it's just "Let's see how easily we can make Larry corpse.
" This time round, I've really enjoyed playing Marcus, who's page to Philip of Woolworth's very angry brother.
He's a page, but he's also got a page of his own, but his page, who's a very kind of lowly peasant type, is far more intelligent than him.
We have this terrible habit of killing off characters who we then go, "Oh, they were great.
" I'll always miss Kendal.
He was a pervert jeweller who had an unhealthy relationship with machinery.
And you just don't get to play characters that big.
And again, stupidly, we had him minced in his own jewel-polishing machine, which is probably how he'd want to go.
So, you know, he's in a better place.
It's horrible, isn't it? It's genuinely disturbing.
At 2pm, Carol starts not quite cleaning one of the busiest departments - make-up.
We've got a lot of reference pictures.
We do tend to cross the period a lot.
Any historical references, theatre, musicians - anything.
I know Labyrinth is quite a big inspiration, as well, from the cast.
Mrs Doubtfire's definitely an inspiration for Nanny LaRoo.
Anous took us three hours and we really enjoyed doing that.
We start down with soap in the hair, cos we need to get it as flat as possible and we have these vinyl bald caps, which cover the whole head all the way down to the nape, so you get a nice, flat, curved nape and that's where it really, really comes into its own.
The Elders, we spoke closely with the cast and asked for their opinion.
We've got Simon, who's a hippy Elder.
You know, he's got the long hair, he likes to get naked, so he's got a bit of a tan on.
Then, we've got Matt.
He just had this vision of big hair and these chops and 'tache.
For him, it was a visual one.
He just wanted to see if it was possible - and it was possible - so we made it happen.
Larry was a bit new romantic.
He likes it, sort of, over one eye.
Again, that was, sort of, an inspiration from him.
Then we have Ben, which was quite Albert Einstein-esque.
Jim Howick has, sort of, an Elvis Presley-type look, cos he's the naughty one, I think.
The facial hair has accumulated over the years.
When they're sitting in the chair, if there is something slightly missing, you can just go to the 'tache board.
As long as they, sort of, leave the chair with one over-the-top thing, I think that's quite Yonderland.
Next, Carol moves to a department often known as "Wardrobe", where, ironically, there are no wardrobes.
The costumes have been even more eclectic this series, I feel.
Each piece, I choose with passion.
It's most unusual within one production to have so many diverse and unique characters in different, varied and colourful, fancy settings, that cover such a broad range of periods of history, and that enables me to allow my imagination to go into absolute overdrive.
I think, by far, the biggest challenge was Nanny LaRoo, because it was a large build and the morphology of a kangaroo and a man are very different.
I chose to use neoprene because it gives a really firm base.
I used a flocking technique to give the surface a realistic, moth-eaten texture.
And with the terrific make-up work of Marie, we created and blended a look together.
A couple of the supporting artists, I really enjoyed creating their costumes.
It was a, sort of, a mix of Brideshead Revisited meets Henley Regatta in the '20s.
One of them, to give a Yonderland surreal twist, I accessorised with a hairy sporran, which was worn across the chest, to give a surreal twist.
I don't know how the Scots will feel about that but it worked really well.
We churn out so many costumes for so many actors, it's unbelievable, but every single one is a joy to create.
The possibilities are endless.
How often does that happen for a designer? Very rarely.
Five hours later and Carol is cleaning the costumes of man of 1,000 faces, and 37 shirts, Jim Howick.
So, this year I'm very excited to be playing a character called Squint who's based on Robert Shaw's Quint from Jaws, which is one of my favourite films.
You all know me .
.
know how I earn a living.
No.
I'm a hunter.
I hunt stuff.
I hunt things.
It's fantastic to bring the Crone back.
I'm very fond of her.
You know, all of her in her glory.
Imperatrix has already won! Make-up takes about two hours and then .
.
you know, you just, sort of, find her, really.
She's there, she is within me.
A lot of the artwork, you see, we just come to the set and then they're there, they're in front of us, they're a gift.
And it's really nice for us to just let the art department create these, you know, help create the world with us.
The Maypole Creature was something that me and Matt came up with.
I actually remember being at a school fete when I was a kid and one of the children went under instead of over and it caused this enormous knot.
So I thought, "Wouldn't it be funny "if the top of the Maypole was actually a creature, "the entire Maypole was a creature and the ribbons were his arms?" We can really, kind of, explore that with this show.
When we came up with the character for Negatus, it was just a no-brainer who would play him.
Simon's got everything.
He's got the, sort of, physical attributes and he's just got a fantastic face.
So But I'd have loved to have had a go at Negatus.
Yeah.
9pm and Carol has ventured into a department that makes this very documentary conceptually flawed.
The actors, when they come together and write these stories, I think they go out of their way to try and figure out puppets that we couldn't possibly build.
And yet, we always manage.
When I first get the scripts, I get to read through them and imagine the characters in my own mind's eye.
We'll talk about the characters, talk about what's needed.
Ben Kovar is the conceptual artist.
So his drawings come in right at the beginning and, from that point, we then start building.
We're never really daunted by it.
We love it.
Oh! With a lot of the puppets, we've had really wonderful free rein.
I don't think I've ever had a job quite like this, that we've had that much creative input.
There are lots of different puppets in Yonderland.
There is no one particular style.
We've got the animatronic puppets and then our puppets tend to be different from that.
They're more simplistic, more Muppet style.
They're made from flat foam, that we then pattern and bring to shape and bring into life.
We are constantly adapting our puppets and making one puppet into another and the way we do that is we simply, you know, off with the head, off with the arms, sometimes even gouge their eyes out.
Put different eyes in and then they're off on to camera, to be another character, live another day.
I really like the Toad.
He had to be Negatus's fruit smoothie maker.
Where's the mint? Thank you.
Jesse and I had hilarious, and rather messy, consequences when we were trying to figure out what to use as the smoothie mix and how to make it come out of his mouth.
And then, on the day, it actually went really, really SMOOTHLY! It was great, it was very, very funny.
And I love him to bits, really.
But all of them.
I'm fond of all of them, really.
As Carol enters the final leg of her shift, studio life begins to slow down, and, for some cast members, stop altogether.
It's like coming back to a really great party, that's what it feels like.
And a big dressing-up box.
Yeah.
I got to play a really silly character, Igor.
We hummed and hawed about it and said, "You know, what should this guy be like?" And then, actually, you know, just went for it, like full, sort of, Disney, sort of, Hunchback of Notre Dame, but Russian, for some reason.
And I think it's the most fun I've had on this set.
It was just great.
We filmed it here, right here, and the art department had done an incredible job of making this dystopian, almost Marvel-style lab.
That's the biggest thrill I get from this, I think.
The real fun is knowing now the world and then inventing new characters and thinking, "Where are the boundaries? Where can we stop?" And the answer is, there are no boundaries to a fantasy world.
You just go, "Yeah, I think we'll "What if there was a nanny called Nanny LaRoo who was half kangaroo?" And that's just That's like drunk people having a chat, like really drunk people having a chat and then you write it and everyone goes, "Yeah, we'll put that in.
" And then someone makes the costume and you're suddenly there going, "OK.
This is quite crazy.
" Now in the 15th hour of cleaning, Carol has reached the final set, home to the Maddox family, a quarter of which are played by Martha Howe-Douglas.
Imperatrix and Negatus have a lot of scenes together this year, because, obviously, Imperatrix is more Whereas where she was the hologram before, she's now more active on the scene.
She's just always putting him in his place.
I mean, Negatus is an absolute fool.
You know, when you see him without Imperatrix and he's with his demons, you can sometimes think that he's in control, but he's never in control.
And when Imperatrix is there, it's highlighted even more what an idiot he is.
And when you say, "money no object" I'm giving you carte blanche.
Mm.
The ice cream.
No, you fool! Listen! Whatever the cost, Maddox dies today.
It's quite nice to be a bit bad ass, cos Debbie's quite, you know, good and normal so it's nice to have that element of, you know, evil to play, as well, because I don't get to be all the different characters that the boys have, so it's quite nice to have something that's a contrast to Debbie.
Ah.
Ahhh.
It was a very collaborative experience, anyways, the first series, you know.
Obviously, everybody went off and wrote their individual episodes or in partnerships.
But the, kind of, sounding out of everything happens as a group.
So, you know, there's details in every episode that other people might have come up with, so it's just great, I think, as a group, to realise what we talk about in that writers room.
Jim and Mat, they're the big corpsers.
Everyone has their moments, but they're the two that If they're together, as well, it's hell.
Oh, it's happened again.
Simon said something hilarious that wasn't actually scripted in one of the Elders' Chambers scenes and just made me laugh.
Cos he's such an idiot, anyway, Simon, obviously.
But he added something that was really good, went on really good, and he went, "Sweet chestnuts," as his Elder, and I was just absolutely creasing but, yeah, he's hilarious, Simon.
He always adds something that's not in the script.
Unfortunately, the temptation to venture into the one part of the set that is out of bounds finally proved too much for Carol Jenkins.
That was the last anyone ever saw of Carol Jenkins.
The programme makers have declined to comment on her disappearance.