Adam Ruins Everything (2015) s02e10 Episode Script

1 Ah Finally.
(CHUCKLES) We made it to the suburbs.
Now, this is the American Dream.
Beep-beep! Heads up, Dad! Oh-ho, little Donovan! Are you drunk? Dad, will you play catch with me? Oh, I'd love to, buddy, but your old man's gotta mow the lawn.
Hashtag# Suburb Problems! We'll play after.
Shouldn't take too long.
(MOWER SPUTTERS) Oh, come on, you piece of Shinola! (MOWER SPUTTERS) Oh, heck! Every time I come out Okay, calm down, Ron.
Little bit of hard work never hurt anybody.
After all, it's worth it to live here in the nice, safe suburbs.
No, it isn't! Holy canary! A talking bush? Aah the suburbs may seem like the American Dream, but in reality, they're an American nightmare.
Hey, you ruined my topiary! Yup, 'cause I'm Adam Conover and this is "Adam Ruins Everything.
" Oh! Ugh.
(SCREAMING) (GRUNTING, MOWER SPUTTERING) Oh, come on, start for old Ron, ya bucket of bolts.
I gotta mow the lawn.
Ah, yes, the good, old-fashioned American lawn.
We mow them, we water them.
On average, Americans spend 70 hours a year and a total of nine billion gallons of water a day maintaining them.
BUT HERE'S A QUESTION-why? Um why what? Why do you do it? Uh easy, bush boy.
You gotta have lawns they're natural.
Actually, they're not.
If your lawn was natural, it would look like this.
(SNAPS FINGERS) This untended meadow is a diverse ecosystem of native plants and animals.
It may be less organized, but it requires zero maintenance, unlike (SNAPS FINGERS) this thing.
Okay, so it's not natural.
But the lawn is American, like my flag.
Nope, it's imported, like your car.
(HORN HONKS) Almost all lawn grass in America is actually native to Africa, Europe and Asia.
It wasn't made in the USA? But I thought this was freedom grass.
Try "lack of freedom" grass.
Getting all that imported grass to thrive in a non-native environment means you have to do a ton of work.
You gotta pump it full of fertilizer (COW MOOS) water it like crazy spray it with pesticides and herbicides so it can compete with native bugs and plants and then, when it finally grows, for some reason you mow it all down again.
Dad gummit! Ohh So, why the H-E- double-frickin'-hockey-sticks do I put myself through this? SIMPLE: it's because a bunch of crusty old Brits were obsessed with paintings.
What? Way back in the schmancy-pants 1500s, British aristocrats became obsessed with emulating the fantastical, dreamlike lawns they'd seen in Renaissance art.
Servants transform the grounds into an expanse of green, like my favorite painting.
(RON LAUGHS) Dumb, fancy Europeans and their dumb, fancy fads.
Well, in the 1800s, those fads made their way to dumb, fancy America.
American landscape designers like Frank J.
Scott were so taken with these European lawns, they created weird and arbitrary rules for their care and thrust them upon the public.
My heavens! Those bulbs are exposed, you naughty boy! It was even common for wealthy women to form gardening clubs that would travel to poor neighborhoods and pressure them to keep their lawns in line.
Listen up, poors! Turn your dirt into grass fast or you'll have to answer to the gardening club! Ugh I hate when rich jerks try to tell me what to do.
It's my house! I can do what I want! Unfortunately, ya can't.
What? After World War II, with the advent of mass-produced suburbs, lawns were put in place before houses were even sold, so those homeowners had no choice.
Here's your keys.
And here's your irritating obligation.
Enjoy.
And in some suburbs, like Levittown, residents were actually required to mow their lawns once a week.
This is going to be you every Sunday like church.
Fast-forward to the present day and the lawn has become so ingrained in suburban life that if you don't properly maintain one, your neighbors will hate you.
Listen up, neighbor.
You're driving down my property values.
Now get your filthy lawn in shape or you'll have to answer to the homeowners association! Many towns and homeowners associations even have strict rules about what you can and can't do with your lawn.
Those who don't comply can be fined and even jailed.
There he is, officer, the lawn criminal.
Arrest this grasshole.
Okay, okay! I'm mowing! The result is, if you wanna live in the suburbs, you are forced to waste time, money and water keeping up a foreign plant species that has no business being here.
It was just a European fad that got outta control.
- (MOWER SPUTTERING) - Ugh! Ohh! Oh, I hate this stupid thing! - (MOWER STARTS) - Oh! Oh! (LAUGHING) Oh, Ron is back.
Dad to Mission Control, over.
(IMITATES CLICK) Uh, this is Mission Control.
You are cleared to mow.
(LAUGHING) See? Huh? Even a little elbow grease is worth it to live in this nice, safe cul-de-sac.
Mmm.
Actually, cul-de-sacs are very unsafe and inefficient.
But I'll tell you about it after your chores.
I liked you better when you were a bush.
Ah well took all morning to mow this yard, but who had fun doing it? This guy.
Now to move the van and sweep the old driveway.
A clean sweep.
(LAUGHING) Vroom-vroom! Come back here, Lorraine Hamilton.
Vroom! Hey, pal, are you drunk again? I'm racing with my friend, Lorraine Hamilton.
Vroom! Of course you are.
He is so creative with his imaginary friends.
Well, that's a cul-de-sac life.
No safer place for a growing boy and his dad.
Actually when it comes to traffic, cul-de-sacs are unsafe.
Did you know that traffic fatalities are 270% more likely in cul-de-sacs than in grid streets? Oh, that's a bunch of bull.
(TIRES SCREECH) Oh! Little Donovan! Are you all right? Oh, oh I am so sorry I constantly joked you were a drunk child.
That's okay.
Bye! How did this happen? Well, maybe it happened because cul-de-sacs lull you into a false sense of security, where the difference between sidewalk, street and driveway are blurred.
That makes drivers less attentive, thus more accidents.
(TIRES SCREECH, THUD) (RON) Holy crow! Don't worry.
He's just one of the sketch characters from our show.
In fact, the design of cul-de-sac suburbs is bad for you on nearly every level.
Come on! In a dense grid system, you can walk from place to place.
But the complex, maze-like design of cul-de-sac neighborhoods positions just about every destination farther away, making walking practically impossible, which means you need your car to get just about anywhere.
This pattern of disorderly, far-flung, low-density neighborhoods is known as suburban sprawl.
I feel trapped.
Yeah, you should.
Being dependent on cars means more isolation, more accidents, and absurdly long commutes.
(HORNS HONKING) Ugh, I hate my commute.
You gotta listen to boring podcasts to pass the time, and I don't care if Adnan did it.
Come on.
Uh, boredom is the least of your worries.
People with lengthy car commutes suffer from disproportionate levels of stress and pain, obesity, and are even 40% likelier to get a divorce.
A study in Sweden even found that people who live more than 31 miles from work actually die sooner.
(TIRES SCREECH, THUD) Holy moley, she was hit! Oh, she's just a sketch character on our show.
Literally.
She's a sketch.
(LAUGHS) Well, at least we got sunshine and green grass, unlike the dirty city.
Actually, when it comes to pollution, sprawl is much worse.
One study found that suburbanites have carbon footprints up to four times larger than city dwellers.
And not only is sprawl bad for your health and the planet, it costs us a ton of money.
Since homes here are so spread out, the suburban tax base doesn't raise enough money to pay for its own infrastructure.
Meanwhile, denser cities generate ten times as much tax money per acre.
As a result, they often have to create special programs just to keep nearby suburbs afloat.
In fact, compared to cities, suburban sprawl costs in excess of one trillion dollars per year.
But I don't wanna live on some government teat! The suburbs are supposed to represent freedom, dadgummit! Actually, the suburbs systematically foster dependency.
Oh.
This is Dr.
Richard Jackson, a pediatrician and a professor of environmental health science at UCLA.
Ron, research shows that the design of the suburbs dramatically reduces our freedom to be physically active.
The cul-de-sac may be great when your son's three or four, but as he gets older and needs to increase his autonomy, he will be unable to go anywhere without a parent driving him.
That means he won't be able to explore on his own and develop the skills he needs to become an independent adult.
Well, I can just keep driving him, then.
Once I'm back from my endless commute.
Well, one day your roles will be reversed.
At some point, you'll be too old to drive, turning your house into a prison.
(RON) If I can't drive, how will I live? There isn't even a grocery store in walking distance! (ADAM) And so, even after little Donovan moves away, he'll still be tied to this cul-de-sac to help you.
No! Go live your own life! At that point, you'll be reliant on others to keep you alive.
By 2035, over 50 million Americans will be facing that same dilemma, many who don't even have a family to help them.
And, unfortunately, we don't have an easy or affordable way to fix it.
The fact is, the design of the suburbs actually makes you less independent, less healthy and less safe.
(RON) Little Donovan, no! Get out of the street! Come on, chalky bush boy, take me back.
I'm gonna break the record! Time me, Lorraine Hamilton! Ooh! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Stop! Little Donovan! (TIRES SCREECH, THUD) Lorraine Hamilton! No! Lorraine Hamilton was real? Oh, my God, you were right.
The suburbs are nothing but an isolating hell-scape filled with constant car crashes.
Well, we did exaggerate the car crashes a little for comedic effect.
(CHUCKLES) But this place will still give little Donovan a better life.
Know why? Because of the schools.
Huh? Huh? The suburbs have the best schools and there's no downside to that.
Actually, suburban schools have a ton of downsides, but I'll tell you about it in a second.
We should reallyan schools help Lorraine.
Downsides, Oh, yeah, good idea.
Here you go, pal.
Bologna sandwich and milk.
I know you wanted whiskey, but we're all out, you lush.
(LAUGHING) Drunk kid reference, oh it's fun again.
Dad, can we play catch? Oh, not until you finish your homework.
We moved to the suburbs so you could go to a good school, and apparently that is the only solid, unruinable reason to be here.
(ADAM, MUFFLED) Uh, not quite.
Oh, no.
You're right.
Schools are often better in the suburbs.
But have you ever wondered why they're better? THAT'S EASY: better facilities, better teachers, more funding.
Right.
And how did your school get those advantages? I don't know.
We're just in a good community, I guess.
And which groups of people get to live in this community? Wait, y you're not saying this is a white thing, are you? It it's not so white here, look! Bad example.
Ignore sweater dog people.
A tote bag full of kale.
You're killing me, lady! Okay, maybe this neighborhood is mostly to completely to insufferably white, but that, that's just the way things are here.
It doesn't mean we're racist.
I'm sure you're not, Ron.
But the fact that so many suburbs are mostly white is no accident.
It's the result of decades of racist federal policy that affect us to this day.
Look! Hooray! Games! What the heck kinda game is this? It's Settlers of the Suburbs, redlining edition.
Cool! Little Donovan, you be green.
Ron, you're red.
All right, red, just like the name.
Looks like I've got the advantage.
No.
You don't.
See, in the 1930s, as part of the New Deal, FDR created loan programs to help Americans finance their homes.
But, to decide who got those loans, the government created color-coded maps in which green neighborhoods were good and red neighborhoods were bad.
This practice became known as redlining.
Because of these policies, if you lived in the green neighborhoods, it was super easy to get a home loan.
All right, I can buy property! But the folks in the red areas? No loans were available.
I can barely afford rent with this.
It's no fair.
The red areas are screwed.
Yeah, they were.
And do you know why some areas were designated as red? No, but I can guess.
Those were the neighborhoods where African Americans and other minorities lived, and redlining systematically prevented them from getting home loans.
Well, I know what I'll do.
Just take my little guy and put him in the green neighborhood.
Sorry! That's against the rules.
Early suburb developers like William Levitt instituted explicitly racist policies.
And the federal government itself encouraged developers to discriminate.
The result of these policies is that from 1934 through 1968, a whopping 98% of home loans were given to white families.
Yes! O-okay, this, this is not fair.
I did not get to pick what color I was when I started.
Yeah.
No one does.
And this advantage compounded over time.
The families in the green or white neighborhoods were able to purchase homes and accrue wealth.
The market went up! I can sell my house and buy a bigger one! Whereas the people in the red neighborhoods got none of those opportunities.
I can't afford property.
I'm behind on my electric bill.
In the green neighborhoods, the influx of new wealth attracted new businesses.
Whoa we got an organic grocery! Which caused property values to go up.
Which meant white families could sell their homes and send their kids to college.
They grow up so fast.
Passing down their wealth and advantages to future generations.
(FEMALE GROUP) Money, money Meanwhile, the red neighborhoods had far less ability to build wealth and many remained trapped in poverty.
This game is rigged! Yeah, it was.
That's why laws were eventually passed that made most of these discriminatory practices illegal.
Ah! Ha, great! Ha! Finally, I can move, and I don't have enough money.
Exactly.
Without wealth, families in the red neighborhoods couldn't afford to move up, keeping these communities separated by race.
Today, 70 years after Levittown was created, it's still less than one percent black.
Ha-ha! I may be dead, but the effect of my racism lives on.
And if the neighborhoods are segregated, that means the schools are too.
What? It No, no, that, that, that can't be true.
We ended school segregation back in the '60s.
Sorry, Ron, but I'm afraid that's not true.
Ron, this is Nikole Hannah-Jones.
She's a New York Times investigative reporter who covers civil rights issues, including school and housing segregation.
Nikole, would you mind telling Ron what most people get wrong about segregation? People tend to think of segregation as an archaic term for Jim Crow policies that led to the civil rights movement.
But the truth is that black children are more segregated in schools now than at any time since the 1970s.
And in the U.
S.
, schools are largely funded by property taxes.
Since property values in the white neighborhoods are so much higher, their schools get way more money to spend on things like facilities, teachers and supplies.
On the other hand, predominantly black and Latino schools are massively underfunded.
They're less likely to have A.
P.
science and math courses, and they're the least likely to have experienced and qualified teachers.
The truth is, little Donovan doesn't just go to the best school.
He goes to a segregated school.
Oh, no, no, no.
This is a direct result of decades of redlining policies enacted by our own government to build the suburbs.
Highways that were built to make access to the suburbs easier for white Americans were often run right through black middle-class neighborhoods, destroying them.
People in the past were the worst.
It's not just the past.
Banks still regularly charge black home buyers higher rates on loans than they do white home buyers, even when they have the same credit.
Worst of all, black and Latino home seekers still experience four million incidents of illegal housing discrimination every year.
But I mean, I didn't do any of that stuff.
I, I'm not racist and I worked hard to get this house.
Of course.
But without realizing it, you've also gotten a leg up from America's history of racist housing policies.
The suburb you live in was built on a foundation of segregation, and we can't close our eyes to that.
You know what? I don't think I want to raise little Donovan in a place like this.
Well, don't despair.
There are things you can do that No, no, no, save your breath, okay? Go pack your things, buddy.
I'm selling this house.
Oh, man, this is why nobody finishes board games.
Hello, everyone! We're here on set on "Adam Ruins Everything" with Nikole Hannah-Jones because I have way more questions about housing and school segregation in America.
So, this topic is such a stunning one because I grew up, like I think a lot of kids my age did in America, being told that we ended segregation, but American society is not as integrated as the story that we tell ourselves, and, I mean, why do you think that is? Well, one, I think, often when we hear about segregation, we think of this as a Southern phenomenon, as something that happened way back then and happened way down there.
But the truth is, the most segregated parts of the country have long been in the North.
The difference is, in the South, because often black people lived quite intimately with white Americans, then you would have laws that would say you couldn't go to this swimming pool, you couldn't go to this school.
In the North, you can keep your neighborhood white, then you can keep your swimming pools and your libraries and your restaurants white because there are no black people living in proximity.
You don't have to have a rule that says, "No black kids can swim in this pool or go to this school," because there just are none in the area because that's how things have been engineered.
We passed laws and said, "Okay, this is no longer legal," but we didn't put any effort into actually undoing the segregation that we created.
It would require an equal or even greater amount of effort to undo the segregation as it took to create it in the first place.
We've never had the will to do that.
It's not like when we passed the Fair Housing law in 1968, we started over and we equalized all the housing values.
We just continued with that, and so those white neighborhoods continued to, um, see their property values rise, and black neighborhoods would see the property values rise as well, but they started so much further behind.
So, it's not saying that white people haven't worked for anything, because clearly, uh, white Americans have worked hard, but so have black Americans.
They just were disadvantaged.
So, back to schools.
I mean, people seem like they want to integrate schools more, you know, um, uh, how what are the barriers to doing that? Even in neighborhoods that are integrating, the schools are not, and that's kind of the last line in the sand.
White people are afraid if they put their children into a diverse school, it's gonna harm their children.
Well, and it's my understanding I don't know the research top to bottom but it's my understanding that diverse schools are good for all students.
Is, is that correct? Absolutely.
Um, diverse schools, for black and Latino children, ensure that they actually get the same resources that white children get in terms of instruction, curriculum, uh, quality teachers.
For white children, it actually helps them to be able to think better.
They become better problem solvers.
And you can think about this.
If you work at a business and everyone grew up exactly the same and everyone thinks exactly the same, you all come up with the same answers to problems.
When you are dealing with people who have different experiences and have different ways of processing, then you can find solutions.
Look, clearly, this a huge, huge systemic problem in our society that's gonna take a long time to fix, but what can we do on an individual level to address it? Well, the first thing we can do is actually live our values.
If we say we believe in integration and equality, that means that we're gonna have to give something up.
You can't, um, say you want equality for all children but then try to get advantage for your own.
Those two things actually don't work together.
So I think, um, as a country, we have a lot of soul-searching to do.
Do we, do we really believe that every child should have the same opportunity? Because if that's true, we can't horde all of the opportunity for our children, and the same types of children who have always had the advantage.
Well, thank you so much for being here, Nikole.
Thanks so much for having me.
So, it's got all-new floors and, and I remodeled the kitchen based on an episode of "Property Brothers," so anyways, knock yourselves out.
There's all-new cabinets and sinks and whatever.
Of course, the schools are all racist and your lawn is a rip-off and you'll probably kill one of your kids with your car.
(CAR SPEEDS PAST, TIRES SCREECH) Ron, those are all real problems, but you don't have to leave the suburbs.
There's a better way! Haven't you done enough already, you overgrown garden gnome? I am done listening to you.
Well, maybe you'll listen to Ellen Dunham-Jones, director of the urban design program at Georgia Tech and a leading authority on suburban redevelopment.
Ron, the good news is, now that we're aware of these problems, communities across the country are implementing real solutions to fix them.
Like in Atlanta, where a 22-mile park and transit loop around the city is connecting its suburban neighborhoods.
or Pleasant Ridge, Ohio, which revitalized an old Main Street with new local businesses by designating it a community entertainment district.
(JACKSON) And you can help encourage this by demanding that your neighborhood has protected routes, so every child can get to school safely and independently.
(HANNAH-JONES) And you can lobby your state government to make school funding more equitable.
And you can support the integration of students of color into your local schools.
(DUNHAM-JONES) The fact is, Ron, you don't have to leave the suburbs.
Instead, you can help to make them better.
(DONOVAN) I don't wanna move, Dad! All my friends are here, like Lorraine Hamilton! You're right.
This is my community and I'm not giving up on it.
All right, you looky-loos, get outta here! Huh? We are staying.
Come here, little Donovan.
Listen up.
Now, this place, it's got a lot of problems, but we're gonna work on fixing them together.
Okay.
But right now, buddy, there's only one thing I wanna do.
Little Donovan you wanna have a catch? - Yeah.
- (TEARFULLY) Okay.
Maybe I should move.