Bless This Mess (2019) s02e10 Episode Script

1 - RIO: Oh, hey, sir.
Down in the dumps? - [DOORBELL JINGLES.]
Try taking a mental dump.
Try therapy with Rio.
Sir? Do you want to take a flier? No? Okay.
Hey, there, Ray.
Do you hear voices in your head? How about adding Rio's to the mix? - Therapy with Rio.
- Nah.
But I did want to talk to you about your seeds.
Are you gonna place an order or what? It's such a big decision what to plant, you know? I don't want to rush it.
As long as you get it to me by the weekend.
[LAUGHS.]
"The weekend.
" Can you imagine? - [LAUGHS.]
- [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, yeah.
- You're not serious, are you? - Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The weekend? Clara, with a voice as quiet as yours, you must be masking something, am I right? So, don't you want to talk to a professional about it? Don't your words ruin lives and marriages? Do you Is that what people say? Kay went to you for therapy, and then she left her husband.
But I hear they're seeing each other again, but it is just a real mess.
Well, it's Therapy's a journey.
Just seems like everyone around you is falling apart.
That is an unfair characterization.
Oh, Ray, come on! You're killing me here! I can't make that decision just like that.
- RAY: Pick a plant.
- What? No.
Come on.
He's passionate.
He's gesticulating.
So what? People who live in glass houses shouldn't tend other people's gardens.
That's not a saying.
I said it.
It's a saying.
I said it.
Okay.
Why would Ray wait that long to tell me about the deadline? I think he wanted to see me squirm.
- Ray's got it in for me.
- Maybe it's for the best, because then you're forced to make the decision.
- Aw, man! - Hey! No! God! Again?! If you're gonna be in there, please at least take a load of laundry and put it in the dryer, okay? - Actually, don't touch anything.
- No, no.
Don't put a load anywhere.
I'm so excited for you guys Genuinely That you guys are connecting, you know? - But you cannot go - [CHUCKLES.]
"connecting" all over our house, in our pantry, on our stairs.
On the ironing board.
The fact that it might collapse is thrilling.
It's extremely wobbly.
Listen, I need peace and quiet.
Coming in hot, Mike.
I got to get my seed order in.
We've put all of our savings into that, and we've borrowed a good deal - of money from some friends.
- We have borrowed an extraordinary amount of money.
We really have.
It's surprising.
That's all gonna be tied up in the seeds.
Now, "What seed?" you say? Well, I don't know! I can't figure that out.
Why? Because every time I sit down to concentrate, - I hear th - [BANGING ON TABLE, GRUNTING.]
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- I can't go through my binders and make this life-altering decision while you two hump each other - in every corner of this house.
- He can't do it.
If you're having a problem with seeds, - why don't you just talk to Kay? - Oh, yeah.
I mean, I've forgotten more about seeds than those dumb binders could ever hold.
All those binders We may have stacked those binders up and made some love on them.
On my binders?! On my research?! - Listen, babe - On my research?! Yeah, I likey that tilt.
- I'm gonna take a lap.
- Just take a lap.
- Always makes you feel better, honey.
- That'll That should help.
Guys, I just I gotta suggest - some couples therapy.
- Oh, why? Because we're making you look bad as a therapist and everyone's talking about it? No.
Not at all.
A little bit.
But mostly, I think that it would be important for you guys to just have, like, one session where you can just talk about what this new chapter is.
We will not be therapied.
I don't know, Beau.
It It could be good to have an outside perspective on this, right? See? This is what I'm talking about.
See, you guys are actually not connecting here.
You're just connecting Okay, fine.
But good luck breaking into this vault.
- Great.
- Calls his brain "Alcatraz.
" Shine those blinkers, rookie.
Aye, aye, Captain.
[CHUCKLES.]
Jacob is shadowing me for a school project, and I just got to show him - that Bucksnort P.
D.
is no joke.
- Hm.
This may be some sleepy, little town, but we are one murder away from there being a murder here.
All done.
Can we go catch some criminals now? I watch a lot of cop shows, so I know that the second person we talk to probably did it.
Being a cop is nothing like TV.
I mean, it took me a lifetime to perfect my instincts, but now I always I always get my man.
Ain't that right, Rudy? No.
[CHUCKLES.]
No.
I'm not your man.
I mean, I'm not a criminal man.
There's no need to track me down.
[CHUCKLES.]
Gotta run.
Act normal.
Act normal.
- [CAR HORN HONKS.]
- Act normal.
Uh, hon I-I don't know if I'm gonna be able to make the deadline with this decision.
I-I think I'm gonna have to go post up on Main Street and just ask people what their thoughts on seed are.
- No, no, no.
D-Don't - Just, you know, literally anybody who walks by.
Could you just be a little more, like, normal and grounded, just during this time, at least in public? Because I'm trying to get more therapy patients, and everybody thinks that I broke up Beau and Kay, and then they see that you're kind of, like, stressed Okay, you know what? You're right.
You're totally right.
Your therapy business is incredibly important.
- Thanks.
- And, in fact, if I make the wrong decision, it might be the only source of income that we have, so - Sweetie, I love you so much.
- Oh, my God.
This is too stressful to be the only [GROANS.]
Mike.
See that energy that you have right now? - What's that? - Can you take that energy and sort of lift it up - and corral it into the - Corral it? the the shed? You can take over that whole shed.
- I'll go to the shed.
- You're a shed guy.
And I will make a decision that will determine whether we succeed or fail miserably.
- I can do it.
- Mike, I believe in you.
Honey, have you seen my fake glasses that I wear in therapy sometimes? I feel like the New York patients really - They responded well to them.
- Oh.
KAY: I mean, since Christmas, we've been having fun, sure, but how do I know that he's actually changed? Well, why don't you address him? But use the words "I feel" I feel that I would like to know for sure that you have changed.
Hmm.
Okay, Beau, your wife, Kay, has said something to you.
Do you have a response to that? [GRUNTS.]
Beau! We're doing therapy.
Yeah.
I I'll do whatever you want.
Okay.
I've decided what I want.
I want you to go on a cruise with me.
- I ain't gonna do that.
- A cruise? Is that, like, a significant thing in the relationship? Yeah, I wanted to go on a cruise for our sixth anniversary, and you said no 'cause you don't ever want to do anything new.
Okay.
Can you use "I feel" I feel that the man that refused to go on that cruise with me is not the man I want to be with.
I've I Do I feel now? W I think we're waiting for your your feel.
I feel like that was 15 years ago, I feel, and I feel like I can't do anything about that now, I feel.
Sure you can.
You can go on a cruise with me.
[CHUCKLING.]
Kay, I can't do that.
You get your butt on a boat with me in two days, or else we're through.
[CHUCKLES.]
This isn't fair.
You cruise me or you lose me.
It's that simple.
I can I can't go.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
- Well, I guess that's that.
- Later, dude.
- No.
- Kay.
- Thank you.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I feel that you've really cleared some things up for me.
Well, good.
Um - It's not how this works, is it? - [DOOR OPENS.]
- Look, I I'm - [DOOR CLOSES.]
I'm scared to go on a cruise, okay? There.
You got it.
You happy? Maybe you could help me with that.
Okay.
Do Do you want to do one-on-one therapy? Don't call it that.
Call it something else.
Uh, what do you want to call it? - Call it talk talk time.
- Talk time? - You want to do talk time? - Yes.
Maybe you can help me go on a cr cr cr You better enjoy this panic attack, Beau, 'cause it's gonna be your last.
Ugh! There's s There's something wrong with me! It's been three hours.
I'm gonna figure this out.
Here we go.
Talk to me, alfalfa.
You want to live here, huh? You want to get fertile here? Jump out at me! I'm open to it.
Jump out at me! Anything.
Alfalfa.
Hit me.
Cabbage! No? Kale.
Kale.
Think! Think! Think! Think! Think! Think! Think! Think! Think! [GRUNTING.]
This isn't working! [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Good Lord.
Mike - Kay, I'm sorry.
I don't mean to bother you, but, um - do you mind if we talk seed? - Nope.
I can't.
W No, hold hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
I-I really need to bounce some ideas off somebody, and Rio's busy doing therapy with Beau.
- Wait.
Beau's doing therapy? - Yeah.
Good luck getting him to open up.
Oh, I think he's about to.
He He's been writing, uh, feelings down - in a little journal.
- No, he's not.
- Yeah.
- Journaling? Well, he already told me he's not gonna cruise with me.
What else is there to talk about? He's not gonna change his mind right? Well, you know, stranger things have happened.
Do you have a whiteboard inside? - I'm just gonna jot - Wait! - a couple things down.
- The scrapbooking girls are in there! Alright, ladies! Let's make some memories! Cruises are floating prisons without guards.
"Floating prisons.
" Interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, because cruises go into international waters no laws.
- Okay.
- What if I become flustered by the size of the shrimp cocktail? Those are big shrimp! What if I accidentally say "shrimps" and everyone says, "What? Where are you from?" - Sure.
- What if I befriend an orphan that lives below deck? That could happen, and I'm compassionate.
I wouldn't just leave the kid.
What if a rich guy starts making fun of me because I went into an exclusively rich area? Maybe starting verbally was a little bit too much.
Uh, Beau, let's try a different way to open you up, bud.
Okay.
What emotion is coming up for you right now? Can you relax even your face muscles? Ugh.
You're the most rigid person I've ever seen in my life.
Thank you.
- [GROANING.]
- Up to the sky.
Good, and let's just release all that stress through your sacrum.
If If I do that, I'll clear the room.
- Okay.
- I had a big breakfast.
Alright.
Now, Beau, just list out all of your cruise fears.
Well, there's, you know Okay.
One thing, tiny rooms.
- No, thank you.
- RIO: Oh.
Tiny rooms, and then there's strangers.
- Okay.
There you go.
- Yeah, follow it.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- Watch out, stranger.
You know, everybody rushes the line.
There's a line.
You can't just go to the buffet table.
You use the tongs! You use the tongs! - Good! - There's tongs right there! - Yes! - Use the tongs! - Yes! - Use the tongs! - Use the tongs! - Use the tongs! Use the tongs.
All you have to do is - Good, Beau.
- use the tongs! [PLATES CLACK.]
Rudy, are you okay? [CHUCKLES.]
Yesterday, you were acting strange, and not just, like, your regular, adorable strange.
- What do you mean? - Rudy, when we mentioned the word "criminal," you you up and ran off like a 6-foot jackrabbit.
Is there something you want to tell me? No.
Okay.
Well I already looked up your criminal record.
Like I told you, I always get my man.
Everybody's gotta stop running some time.
If you have backup coming, tell them I'll go peacefully.
Rudy, get your hands down.
It's just a few unpaid speeding tickets in Missouri.
W-What are you not telling me? Nothing, but I just remembered, I put too many oats in Theresa's feed.
- Gotta bounce.
- Ru Ru Ru Rudy.
Rudy.
Now, please don't tell Rio that you talked to me.
I'm not supposed to be out of the house.
But if you do see her and you talk to her, just say I was chill, relaxed, laid back.
Now, I've narrowed it down to the top 10 contenders.
What we're looking for is least amount of risk possible.
So [SNAPS FINGERS.]
Linda, you're on melons.
- Clara, you're on broccoli.
- I love broccoli.
Clara, you're too excited about broccoli.
I think you won't be objective, so I'm gonna give you millet, alright? - Kay! - Oh, God.
You're dark horse contenders Sugar beets and lima beans.
You're right, Clara.
Rio makes people crazy.
- I know.
- Okay! Now, use the binder to bring yourself up to speed.
If you do have a flash drive in there, find a computer, okay? I think in about 30 minutes, we should all be ready to make a presentation.
I have stage fright.
Oh, stage fright? That's great.
We can do it, uh, independently, - just you and I, one-on-one.
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
- Clara! The ship is so big, but the The room is so small.
Why Why does it have to be this small? - [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
- The walls are closing in.
Beau, it's really interesting, the the kind of language you're using.
You know, you're saying, uh, "tiny room" and that the walls are closing in, right? So I'm claustrophobic? Or do you think what you're really afraid of on that cruise is being in that tiny room with Kay, with all of her expectations and all of her hopes and dreams in there with you? Nope.
- Next.
- Okay.
Do you think it's significant that you didn't want to go on this cruise on your sixth anniversary? Nope.
Next.
Okay, but, well, it's your anniversary, so, obviously, you're gonna be talking about it and thinking about the relationship, right? Don't you think that's what you'd be scared of? I don't know.
I don't know.
I-I just All I know for sure is that I'm more scared of losing Kay than anything else in this world.
I know, and isn't it curious that the one thing that you're afraid of is the very thing that's pushing Kay away? Wow.
That's good.
That's good.
Write that down.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- That's a good one.
And given our current potash levels, I think root vegetables are completely off the table.
Linda, could you read the notes back to me? Was I supposed to be taking notes? Clara, why why'd you put a glittery cat sticker in the berry binder? See, the cat looks like he's eating a blueberry.
I'm having so much fun.
W-We We've got to get serious.
I feel like I'm the only one here that cares about my seeds.
Let's say we go all in on cucumbers, but we misjudge the last frost.
We plant all these cukes, [SNAPS FINGERS.]
cold snap Boom! We've lost everything.
You never know what's gonna happen.
The only thing you know for sure is that you have to choose a path.
But once we choose that path, there's no going back.
After everything you've been through, there's a chance you could have nothing to show for it.
Just a field of old, cold cucumbers.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
Yeah, and even if you've known the cucumber your whole life I mean, you're putting your heart into that field, right? And you don't know what's gonna happen.
Oh, wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
- We are on the same page, sister.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
Kay, it's me and Rio! I got something to tell you! - Kay! - Clara, this is all your stuff.
- This is great.
- All this stuff is yours, okay, - if Rio asks.
- Oh, M Mike.
Hey.
- Hi! - Why are you here? - Why are your eyes not blinking? - Your husband is losing his mind, and he's ruined our scrapbooking session.
Not true.
Not cool.
Kay, I've been working on myself.
Rio hypnotized me.
I Well, I didn't hypnotize him.
- She did.
- There was It was the therapy.
I'm not afraid of cruises anymore, and I want to embrace the uncertainty with you.
Let's take the risk and hit the open waters.
- I can't.
- What? I just I can't.
I'm sorry.
- RIO: Kay.
Kay, Kay, Kay, Kay.
Kay.
- KAY: I gotta get Here, listen to me.
You're good.
- Just go ahead and find the floor.
­ - Oh.
Melt.
Melt.
- Let's be fluid.
Are you alright, bud? - [BEAU GRUNTS.]
Beau, do you need a bucket? - I'm not my feelings.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS.]
- Hey, Beau.
- Hey.
Just checking in on you.
I like your outfit.
Very orange.
Wait.
Are Are you and Kay going on the cruise? No.
Remember those breathing exercises you taught me? - Yeah, the - I was doing them.
In that moment, I realized I had been facing my fears for Kay.
- Yes.
- Not facing my fears for myself.
- So, you're - Ah.
- [SLAPS THIGH.]
- I'm off to meet a dolphin.
This is great.
I'm really proud of you.
I am.
I hope you do get to see a dolphin.
Meet a dolphin.
- Alright.
- Anyway, look, I want you to know this is all due to you.
Even though therapy is not real, you are.
- Well - You're a real person.
Thank Yes, well I wish that I felt like a good therapist right now, but I just can't, 'cause look at you.
You're going on this cruise without Kay, and my husband's out in the field right now, looking at soil, going, "What do you want planted in you?" - And I'm like, "Honey" - [SCOFFS.]
Yeah.
That's because he's looking for a no-risk seed.
Trick is, it doesn't exist.
- Well - Everything in farming is a risk.
You two have to take that risk together.
That's what I've been trying to get Kay to do.
Hang on.
I'm sorry.
That was [CHUCKLES.]
That was just That was really helpful.
- Well, good.
- It was very sort of wise.
Well, it looks like the fake glasses are on the other face now.
How did you know they were fake? You took them off to read.
- [SNAPS FINGERS.]
- Got it.
I will not do that again.
- That's, like, 101.
- Yeah.
Thank you for coming, Rudy.
Anything for you, my shining diamond.
Now, why am I handcuffed to this chair? Connie thought that we could conduct a mock interrogation for my school project.
And since you're not hiding anything from me, I assumed that you would be open for it.
Thank you for making the correct assumption.
[CHUCKLES.]
[SIGHS.]
I know about the speeding tickets, Longfellow.
You want a cup of coffee? Because - [SLAMS TABLE.]
- you can't have any! - [SLAMS TABLE.]
- What did you do?! Where are the bodies?! It's fun to yell! Rudy, just answer my partner's questions.
Hey, hey, hey.
Don't look at her.
Look at me! I know what you did, you bastard.
I know what you did! It was illegal gambling.
I was a high roller at every underground casino - in the state of Missouri.
- [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLING.]
Whoa.
Connie, you were right.
You just say "I know what you did," and then they tell you exactly what they did.
Jacob, w-will you go in and type up a confession? - [HEELS CLACK.]
- Yes, ma'am.
Bye, Mr.
Rudy.
Thanks.
- [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- I'm sorry, Constance.
I was ashamed.
I didn't want you to think less of me.
Well, I'm not crazy about that, but [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
I fell for the man that you are today.
So, you had a few small money problems from the past.
Not small.
Just south of 400K.
To pay off that debt, I went to a loan shark.
But I could never make the damn vig.
Then I lost that money, too.
Pretty soon, I hit rock bottom.
I did the only thing that was left for me.
You had a frank conversation with the loan shark? I burned my farm to the ground for the insurance money.
Oh, so, you're You're living with Mike and Rio because you burned down your own farm to cover your gambling debts? - Yes.
- [SCOFFS.]
I I-I don't know what's more upsetting The the the crimes or that you you You didn't tell me when you had the chance.
I-I'm gonna need some time to think about this.
Maybe you should Maybe you should go.
I understand.
I'll respect your space.
[CHAIR CLATTERS, SCRAPES.]
[CHICKENS CLUCKING.]
- [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Oh, hey.
- Uh, oh, boy.
- Look at this.
- You really - Yeah.
Yeah.
- You really took it up a notch, babe.
- Yeah, I think I've, uh I've officially lost my mind doing this.
I think everyone was right.
I'm pretty certain I'm gonna ruin our whole farm and take down your therapy business - in the process.
- No, no.
I mean, I got so desperate, I ate some of the seeds, thinking maybe they'd tell me something from within.
Now I have a real bad stomachache.
- You ate it? You ate one? - Yeah, I thought it could help.
Love, I mean, I'm just starting to think that maybe there's no sort of perfect seed.
You know? I think you gotta just kind of, like, jump in, just, like, make the leap.
And so I would offer [CHUCKLES.]
Can I do that with you? - Can we do it together? - Oh, my goodness.
Like, for - Really? Yes.
- [CHUCKLING.]
Yes.
- Please, please, please, please.
- Okay, good.
I don't want to leave you alone - alone in it anymore.
- Okay.
Thank you, okay? So, tell me where you are right now.
Start at the beginning? - Well, I mean - Okay, yeah.
- What do we got? - So, a seed.
What is it? What is a seed? Well A seed is an embryonic plant - enclosed in a protective outer cover.
- Okay, you're going - You're starting from one.
- Yeah, so Hey, you guys? Have you seen Beau? It's Fornicate Friday, and we're supposed to do it.
Yeah, you know what? Uh, he left me a-a note for you.
He said this will explain everything, so "Gone cruisin'.
" Is that really all he wrote? God.
He spent so much time on that.
Wait, h-he went on the cruise by himself? He did.
He wanted to sort of explore some of those fears for himself.
- Damn it.
- Kay.
Now he's gonna get a sleeve full of tribal tattoos.
He's gonna take up residence in a Tongan hut, all sexy and sunburned, with some island woman peeling dead skin off of him like a cobra.
- Kay - And I let that go? He's ready, and I freaked out? Take me to the airport.
- Kay.
- I will not let that happen.
- Oh, you wanna - W-We gotta make - a decision on our seeds.
- Mike! We can talk about your seeds in the car! Take me to the airport! [GASPS.]
Oh, lavender.
Yeah, you can make, like, dope bath bombs, very relaxing - Eh, it's very prone to root rot.
- Is it? Yeah, b-but good good idea.
What else you got? Hey, don't take your foot off the gas for a second, Mike! Okay? Beau's probably at the airport by now sipping on a piña colada at the gate.
Oh, no, there he is.
- What? - There he is.
- Look at this.
- Okay.
Pull over.
- Right there.
I'm gonna go.
- Okay.
Okay.
[CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
- [SCOFFS.]
- Gimme that, you big dummy.
Oh! I see.
What are you doing here? You didn't come out here just to open my beef jerky, did you? No, I want to go on that cruise with you.
It may break us up, may bring us closer together, but there's only one way to find out.
Alright.
- That's a good idea.
- Okay.
You want me to go buy you one of those sweaty hot dogs they got spinning around in there? No, I want to pay Omaha prices at the airport, like an idiot.
[LAUGHS.]
Those guys They don't know.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Ray we're gonna go with cucumber.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- Awesome.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
Out of that.
- [SMACKS LIPS.]
- Ch Oh.
Okay.
Sugar beets.
Nope.
Okay.
That's okay.
That's fine.
Let's look for, uh We got a little - Wasn't expecting that.
- Yeah, I wasn't either.
I think we could do cabbage or mint.
- Uh, mint.
Mint is fantastic.
- Cabbage.
And mint, uh-huh.
- Or Avery.
- Nope, nope, and Avery's the name of the binder company.
- Yeah, that's the tab, hon.
- Oh, sorry about that, honey.
We do have sorghum.
But sorghum's a little risky.
S-Sorghum is my number-one favorite Old World grain.
S-Sorghum is my number-one favorite Old World grain.
- Are you serious?! - [CHUCKLES.]
Yes! - Sorghum! - We're in the sorghum business, baby.
- We made a decision! - Sorghum! [LAUGHS.]
- I love you! - Ohh! Oh, babe, sorghum.
Are you kidding me? It is used in alcohol, biofuel, as animal fodder.
Oh, my God.
Babe, it's gluten-free.
- It's a great, great crop.
- I love it.
You know, it does have some cyanide in it, so it can, uh, poison livestock, but That's fine.
We said we wanted to be risky, right? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- What's this? - Oh.
- Jacob's here.
- Jacob.
Hey.
Hi, Mr.
and Mrs.
Rio.
Uh, my mom sent me a text message that just says "Gone cruisin'.
" - So, do you know what that means? - Yeah, you know what? She Maybe it should have been more than a text, yeah.
- Come on in, bud.
- Just come on in.
Come in.
Is she dead?