Boston Legal s02e10 Episode Script

Previously on Boston legal We know who took the boy.
He kidnapped a 5-year-old two years ago.
Anything the FBI or the police do, we have limitations.
What a private citizen does, however You're not going in there.
I will give you to the count of three.
If you do not unlock it I'm calling the police.
- Brad! - You wouldn't dare.
Three.
Okay! Nobody's arrested us yet.
The FBI won't.
I know that.
I think we saved our skin with happy ending.
I'll take the blonde.
- Melissa, what are we doing in jail? - They're saying I tried to rob a bank.
I didn't.
I just smashed a window.
And they say I'm a prostitute.
- Which is ridiculous.
- Back off, Ho.
- What did you say? - Come on.
Liz? Alan? Oh, my God! You just dropped off the side of the earth.
I was in a relationship.
But now I'm not.
- You still at 1-800-LIZZIE? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa.
Hey! Remember me? I'm in trouble here.
They arrested me.
You're arresting me? Please, put your hands behind your back, sir.
You gotta be kidding.
You have the right to remain silent.
- I know my rights.
- What's going on? They're arresting me for assaulting the priest.
And kidnapping and false imprisonment.
- Now you have the right to an attorney - Son.
Son.
This is the United States of America.
We don't really believe in Miranda anymore.
Let's go.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Ah, Denny Crane.
I'll handle this internally.
Sir, this man's being charged with three felonies.
Understood, but Denny Crane.
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on! With all that's going on in the world today, who among us hasn't at least once wanted to take an axe to a priest? Come on.
They're arresting him? And I gave it my best shot.
So they're not pressing charges.
They're not pressing charges? If you make restitution for the window, they've agreed not pursuing No.
I'm sorry.
Did you say no? I'm not paying for their stupid window.
Forget it.
- Melissa, you smashed it.
- After what they've done to me! Perhaps you should tell me exactly what they've done to you.
My credit card bills.
You're aware I have some uh, fiscal issues? It's come up.
So a few months ago, I owe one amount.
The next month it, it like triples.
So I stop buying stuff and the next month, bam, it's even higher.
So I call the 800 number.
Not Lizzie.
And who answers? But Ms.
Jones, yes.
From New Delhi.
India.
Not Brighton and not Melrose India.
I mean, surprised she's not terribly helpful, right? So far I'm on her side.
And I talked to her supervisor who says that I owe this money, plus more.
This doesn't make any sense! I need to talk to someone in America.
Hello? So all I can get is an address for Prominence's main office in Wilmington, Delaware.
Like I can afford to go there.
So I call them, I get a local office, I go there - and it's basically just a store front.
- With a big window.
- I'm not paying for it.
- You are paying for it.
And I wanna see those credit card bills.
What? Suddenly you're my father now? Yes, sir.
- Assault with a deadly weapon - Waive reading, judge, and ask that these ridiculous charges be dismissed on the grounds of ridiculousness.
These charges are anything but ridiculous, your honor.
The defendant abducted one innocent man, threatened him with torture.
Then assaulted clergy with a deadly weapon!' - Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick.
- You think this is funny? Your honor, my client saved the innocent life of a little kidnapped child who was innocent and utterly kidnapped.
I watch the news like everyone else, Mr.
Crane.
And your client's conduct was shocking.
Your honor, I'd like to move for an immediate trial.
- Hold on! - The facts are not in dispute.
The district attorney clearly wants his fifteen minutes.
Why should we make him wait? If you think this is about me grabbing a spotlight It's always about that with you, Frank.
You've been running for office since you got out of law school.
Hold on! You two will refrain from personal exchanges.
But it is personal, your honor.
We have a history and the opportunity for him to saddle me up as a cause.
You attacked a man.
Cutting off his fingers.
As someone who took an oath to uphold the law, yes, I take that personally.
It's a sound bite, Frank.
Might wanna save it for the cameras.
Which they'll be asking you to allow in court.
- I consent.
- Hey! I will make the rules in this courtroom.
Are you ready to proceed to trial? Assuming he's not alleging any diminished capacity.
I will plead not guilty on the grounds of necessity.
Necessity? Yes.
You probably skipped over it in law school.
Necessity.
Look it up, hack.
The commonwealth is ready to proceed.
I must caution you both.
These are serious criminal charges here.
I'm not sure you should want to rush to judgment.
Judge, you're old.
I'm old.
Lock and load.
Before we're dead.
Why in God's name did you press for an immediate trial? Because I want to trade on the currency of being a hero.
I've been featured all over the news and the jury pool is watching.
- Even so, a conviction here means prison.
- I won't be convicted.
How can you be sure of that? Especially since you're guilty.
Denny Crane.
Look, I know this assistant DA.
He wants to be the DA.
He's using this as a publicity He's also good.
I've seen him try cases.
- Denny Crane.
- That is not a legal defense.
Are we happy? Did I not warn both of you? You know what Shirley? Don't start.
I changed that little boy's diaper.
I will do anything to get him back.
Clearly.
Including going to jail.
Which it come to for Brad.
All right, we're all on the same side here.
Really? I'm not so sure.
Denise, If I were against you, I'd leave no doubt.
You're really planning to have Denny handle your defense? Well Denny, given the exposure of this case, not only to Brad but the firm, how about you and I team up on this? I'd love it.
- I'll pitch.
- I'll call balls and strikes.
We'll all need to sign waivers and Denise I'm gonna need to call you as a witness, but before you say yes, you need consider the liability.
Yes.
Not so fast.
They could charge you with conspiracy, or aiding and abetting I said yes.
I'll testify.
Melissa, you're fifty thousand dollars in debt.
- I know.
- How did this happen? I don't know.
I swear.
It's these people.
They've ruined me.
Going to trial.
I'm swelling up just thinking about it.
Trials make me swell with adrenalin.
Do I look swollen? Somewhat.
Denny, we're a little busy here.
What are you doing? Taxes? Don't you have an accountant? I'm helping Melissa who seems to have fallen into a black hole of debt.
Very black.
What is this sudden concern of yours for people without money? - I need to know.
- You need to look at the big picture.
If people don't have it, they might wanna steal ours.
Right.
Do we have anybody in corporate who understands this credit card world? - Somebody - Hands.
- Sorry? - Hands Espenson.
Banking and finance genius.
Only don't call him Hands.
Why would I? Why do you? The contract was deliberately written to confuse you.
Bait and switch.
Bingo! Promise one thing, say, zero percent interest.
Then they up it to thirty percent.
Bingo! - But, isn't that illegal? - Used to be.
Used to have usury laws but the States wanted the credit card business, so poof! Gone! Bingo! Ever inquire about a car loan? - Actually, yes, once.
- Bingo! - But I didn't buy the car.
- It doesn't matter.
It's called universal default.
Credit bureaus share your information.
All of it.
Your credit card company just heard about your asking for a car loan.
Bingo! They raise your rates.
Why? Because they can.
Why doesn't he move his hands? The OCC is supposed to police, they don't.
Bought off by the credit card lobbyists.
Is he coming back? I have no idea.
What's your history with this DA? We went to law school together.
I beat his ass in moot court.
I licked him several times in criminal cases since.
Let's just say that we're rivals.
Denise, I'll take your testimony.
Denny, can you take Brad's? You licked a man's ass? Denny, if you can't focus here, I'm not going to let you play.
This trial is a threat to Brad's freedom.
It is potentially an enormous blight on this firm.
- We need to win this trial.
- I'm sorry.
But, tell me again why it is that we're rushing this so? It's a rush job because Ginsberg plans to run for district attorney in the primaries in March.
- He's using this as a showcase to - That explains his urgency.
What about ours? At the moment, Brad's a celebrity.
His hero status can only run to our favor.
But it is a risk.
It's not too late to take a deep breath and say let's do this later.
Let's do it now.
You're sure? I have an erection.
It's a good sign.
Let the trial begin.
I'm ready.
Denny Crane.
- Excuse us.
- Denny Crane.
- Excuse us, please.
- My poop doesn't smell.
We have no comment.
Comes out in pretty colors.
Pastels.
Denny Crane.
Denny Crane.
And suddenly he's swinging the axe.
I, I put my hand out and he chopped it.
He cut three of my fingers right off, they, they just fell to the floor.
- And then what happened, sir? - Well, I was rushed to the hospital.
Two of my fingers were recovered and reattached, and then his colleague, that woman, came in brandishing my third finger.
She wouldn't give it back unless I revealed privileged information about one of my parishioners.
He cut it off, and she extorted me with it.
My first question would be, if someone is swinging an axe, why stick your hand out? I didn't think he'd actually try it.
And to be clear, when you speak of your parishioner, you refer to the man charged with kidnapping the child.
Well, yes.
And also to be clear, you knew your parishioner was a pedophile.
I am not going to reveal privileged information to you, just like I wouldn't to him.
But you did reveal information to Ms.
Bauer.
You told her where your parishioner's hide-away was.
You'll reveal privileged information to get your fingers back, but not to save the life of a child.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
As a policy, if a pedophile killer confesses his crime, you'll protect that secret? I cannot break the confessional seal.
It's Canon law.
- Is that stupid? - Objection.
I'm sorry, but the laws in this country to protect again child-abuse supersede doctor-patient privilege, lawyer-client privilege, but not priest-parishioner privilege? Has the Catholic church earned some special exemption when it comes to pedophiles? - Objection! - Do we trust them more in this area? That's a cheap shot.
I've been known to take them.
Tell us about the Papal Blessings.
Well On that matter, I, I was, uh I was wayward.
I apologize.
The Vatican issues Papal Blessings at about thirty dollars a pop.
You decided to print them yourself and sell them directly, bypassing the middleman, who in this case, happens to be the Pope.
Yes.
As, as I said, I was wayward there.
I'm just having a hard time reconciling.
You'll steal from the Pope, but cloak yourself in Canon law when it comes to protecting a pedophile.
- Do you support pedophilia? - Objection! Do I dare ask where those three fingers had been prior - to my client's chopping them off? - Objection! Ms.
Schmidt, you are way out of line.
I'm sorry, judge.
I have known many many wonderful priests in my lifetime.
I am not adding Father Ryan to that list.
Nothing further.
Wait a second.
So the deadbeats are the ones who pay off their debt? Bingo! Within the credit card industry, they're called deadbeats because they don't make any money off of them.
The ones who don't pay off, they're the preferred customers because they're the ones they make money off of.
They target people they know won't be able to pay.
People like Melissa.
Bingo! You making fun of me? No, sir.
You said what I say.
That's making fun.
No! It's just I used to have a dog you see, and Bingo was his name.
Oh, B, I Never mind.
How we doing? We're s uing them.
Who? The company who gave you the credit card.
- Prominence Bank.
- We, we're suing them? We can't sue, can't sue.
Too big, too big.
The bigger they are, Jerry.
We're suing them.
What do you mean I'm not testifying? The problem is, if Brad testifies and you testify, that gives the prosecution two more opportunities to play out this horrific chain of events.
There's nothing you can say that Brad can't say.
- I can support what he says.
- True.
But since you're the one that twiddled the severed finger using it for blackmail purposes, there's the outside chance you'll come off as less than adorable.
Shirley Denise, the D.
A.
will have a field day.
- You ready? - I am.
More importantly, are you ready? Lock and Denny, maybe I should take this.
Shirley, if the jury doesn't get to see me in action, they'll feel cheated.
They'll think we cheated them.
Walk them through what happened, giving Brad a chance to explain why he did what he did and I know how to question a witness, Shirley.
Denny, our whole case is his testimony.
Who's? Kidding.
I'm ready.
Just for fun, show me how you plan to start off.
Brad, what occasioned you to even get involved, pretending to be an FBI officer? His response will occasion the jury to feel and experience the horror of a child being kidnapped.
Like it was their child.
- Good.
- There.
You must show contrition.
You must be apologetic.
You did what you did to get the child back, but you feel compassion and sympathy for everybody you victimized.
Got it.
Do not make yourself the story.
The jury needs to be focused on him.
Did you just say don't make me the story? He's coming here? Tomorrow? - Claiming he wants to work things out.
- Can't meet, can't meet.
- What do you mean you can't meet? - I don't do meetings.
I'm background.
You've got all the expertise, Jerry, and I need you to be around.
- I'll give you a memo.
- Just a whisper in my ear.
You won't even have to talk out loud.
And I'll do all the gesturing.
I'm sorry.
That was an extremely poor joke and I apologize.
Is he like the president of the company? Or He's their general counsel, actually.
Happens to be in Boston.
Jerry, I'm sorry.
I need you.
I'll be present.
I'll give feedback on my computer.
You can read it off the screen.
Deal! I am so sorry.
I'm the one who led you into all this.
You have nothing to apologize for, Denise.
I made my own decision.
But a week ago you were up for partner, and now you're up on trial.
Denise, the little boy is alive.
Unfortunately that's not the issue.
Well, it is for me.
Are you always like this? Like what? Brad, you could be looking at jail.
It's okay to show a little fear.
Okay.
Thanks.
Okay.
Thanks.
That's it? Denise, what do you want me to do? Cry? We got the kid back.
If I had to do it all over again, I would do it again.
I'll live with the consequences.
Okay.
So I'll see you in court.
Yep.
How's my hair? Does my hair work? It does appear to grow each month.
It's my first settlement conference.
There is a lot of power in a woman's hair.
Yes, there is.
I think we'll let my slightly less powerful hair run the meeting.
Good morning.
Melvin Palmer.
How are you? I'm grand, actually but I go by Alan Shore.
A pleasure.
This is Melissa Hughes.
I would be your plaintiff.
And real honor to meet you, Melissa.
Melvin Palmer.
Jerry Espenson.
He doesn't shake.
Excellent! Well then, shall we get started? You're not gonna be cheerful about all this, are you? You know, I have been told to keep my exuberance down until people have had their morning coffee.
Let me tell you a little about me.
Oh, dear.
I am a problem solver.
It's what I love to do.
Now I consider it a personal failure when one of my cases ends up in court.
I also feel I haven't succeeded when people walk away from one of my tables unhappy.
It's actually our table.
What I do in matters like this? I set aside my whole day, okay? Because the goal is finding a solution.
One that works for you, and one that works for us.
That's just the way I work.
So this doesn't have to be an acrimonious experience.
Wonderful.
Why don't we begin then by you giving her back all her money? Well, well I don't know if we can do that.
But I do think we can make this pretty young woman happy.
Okay, then.
We have this saying in Texas, Time to let the horses out of the barn.
You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? I do.
Denny! First off, if it had been my child who had been kidnapped, there are no words that could express my gratitude.
I'm sure we all agree.
Objection.
Mr.
Crane, do not address the jury.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Brad, first question.
I got involved because my colleague Denise Bauer came to me distraught that her housekeeper's child had been kidnapped and frustrated the police and FBI were making no progress.
Second question.
I went to a friend of mine Kevin Drummond at the FBI and asked him for help.
Third question.
He told me that while the FBI was limited by State action that private citizens had sometimes successfully taken things into their own hands.
Fourth question.
Objection.
He's not asking any questions.
I told him last night the questions I was gonna ask him.
Judge, I'm just trying to speed things up for the jury who I know are already annoyed at even being here for this ridiculous prosecution.
Objection.
Mr.
Crane Call me Denny, judge.
Denny Crane.
You will ask the question in their entirety, so that we may understand what the witness is answering.
- Outrageous! - You kidnapped an innocent man? Now the brother wasn't so innocent.
He'd provided safe harbor for the suspect, and he had information.
- So that's when you used violence? - Threatened violence.
- Only threatened? - Only threatened.
- Didn't use it? - Did not.
What a fiend.
He's making light of a kidnapping, false imprisonment Objection! You're a witness.
- Objection! Objection! - Objection! Stop it! None of us is making light of this, judge.
We're just trying to put some perspective on things.
- There is no question before the witness.
- Sustained.
- What can you tell us about perspective? - Objection.
- That's a question! - Sustained.
- The brother told you about the priest? - Yes.
And that's when you went to the church and cut off his fingers? I swung an axe at his imported door knowing it cost a lot of money.
- How much? - Nine thousand.
- Dollars? - Dollars.
- For a door? - He somehow could afford it.
- Objection.
- Bitch, bitch.
- Mr.
Crane! - Call me Denny, judge.
- No, I will not call you Denny! - So you swung at the door? I only wanted to make him think that I was about to destroy the door and he stuck his hand out right at the last second.
I never meant to make contact.
It was an accident.
You didn't mean to hit his hand? No.
And I regret that I did.
To the extent that it led to the safe recovery of Tito Perez, I'm glad about that.
But I never meant to cause any physical injury to Father Ryan.
And again, I apologize.
Denny Crane.
Fair and balanced.
The nut job.
Fair and balanced.
Denny Crane.
That was you not becoming the story? - I was practically invisible.
- What the hell was that about? The prosecutor wants to horrify the jury.
We were diluting the horroscope.
To my money, you trivialized it.
You may have just alienated the jury.
People like a happy ending.
The child came home safe.
We play the happy ending.
- It's not that simple, Denny.
- Yes, it is, Shirley.
We're talking juries.
It always comes down to simple.
And, I mean, there's nobody simpler than me.
- Please tell me you're making this up.
- I am not.
He said, question one, question two, question three and so forth.
Almost as if he were deliberately mocking the whole proceeding.
- And we could very well lose, Paul.
- Is he out of his mind? Well, he's always out of it.
Clearly it's where he's most comfortable.
What are you doing in my office? This is my office, Denny.
Oh That must mean I've come to see you.
Why? I don't know.
It could be to say we were right to mock the proceedings.
A child was saved.
That's what you say in your closing.
- It isn't.
- Yes, it is.
That's the button for your closing.
It's that simple.
It's not polite to talk about crazy people behind their backs.
I accept that I have debt and that I should pay it.
But to suddenly up it from ten to fifty thousand? I Melissa You know in the short time that we've spent together, I can appreciate that you are an honorable person.
And one that lives up to her obligation.
Am I right about that? Yes.
Well, you did apply for the Prominence bank card and entered into a contract accepting its terms.
- I'm right about that too, aren't I? - Yes.
And you then went out and made voluntary purchases pursuant to the terms of that contract.
These sound like trial questions.
Oh, I assure you they are not.
No.
See.
Here's the thing about me.
I like to take the adversary out of adversary system, okay? I'm just trying to get the full picture here so that I can better understand where you're coming from.
And so you can better understand me.
You seem swell.
Of course, we're all happy that Tito Perez was rescued safely.
But the ends cannot justify the means.
Not when the means involve kidnapping, FBI impersonation, false imprisonment, chopped off fingers, extortion and assault.
And whether he intended to severe the fingers of Father Ryan or not he clearly and intentionally swung that axe with reckless disregard.
We are a nation of laws.
We are also a country that stands for civil liberties and human rights.
These are principals embedded in our constitution.
Our Bill of Rights.
This man not only broke the law.
He obliterated fundamental constitutional tenants in the process.
Vigilante justice may be acceptable in other lands.
It is not so here.
- This is - Here it comes.
the United States of America.
Don't even think about it.
We keep hearing about the rights of the accused in this country.
What about the victims? What about his rights? We're supposed to say, "Sorry, Tito, we've love to save you, but there are these rules?" There's a murder in this country every thirty-one minutes, a forcible rape every six minutes, a robbery every one minute.
But, "Hey! let's all band together and protect the constitutional principals" "that make this country great".
Things clearly got ugly here.
But a human life was at stake.
With all due respect to the civil liberties of the suspect's brother, with great deference to Canon law and Father Ryan's Italian imported door and his fingers, the life of a four year old boy was at stake.
Brad Chase saved that little boy's life.
It's that simple.
You're not giving me anything here? First of all, if I were to forgive your obligations, believe it or not, I'd be hurting you.
Hurting me? Okay, this is me.
The way I raise my own kids.
It's not what you give them.
It's how you teach them to get things for themselves.
Just making sure you're real.
You know, I don't know you yet, Mr.
Shore.
But I get this feeling I'm gonna like you.
May I ask? You spoke of honoring obligations as if it's a good thing? Indeed I did.
Then why do you and other credit card companies refer to the customers who pay off their debts promptly as deadbeats? Well, that's not a term I would personally use.
No.
Because you're swell.
But your company uses the term like a mantra.
Here's the thing.
Let me tell you a little about me and why I chose to represent Prominence Bank.
Like any other credit card service, it's a business, sure.
But it is a service.
We help people who are short of cash.
Help them make their rent so they don't get thrown out on the street.
Help them make a car payment so they can get to work.
Help them buy Christmas presents for their children during tough times.
You're like Santa Claus.
I can see you and I need to go out and shoot some ducks together.
Do you explain all the credit terms to your customers? Well, they're on the back of every application.
Like this? With the tiny print? I have JD and an MBA from Harvard and even I can't make heads nor tails of this deception and fraud.
It's deception and fraud! Well, look who found his tongue! And you, Mr.
Shore.
You're a hoot.
That's what.
Is it true your company actually targets people with bad credit ratings? Well, we have an extremely complex marketing strategy, one that I'v be happy to take some time and explain to you.
That's okay.
I think I've got it.
You find people in dire straits and market directly to them with the hope of forming a lifelong relationship.
I had a former client who kind of operated his business the same way.
Really? What line of work was he in? He sold heroin.
My friend, I'm not a man who offends easily.
So I could call you a loan shark and you'd be fine.
When you charge your customers 30 percent interest, you're a loan shark.
That term implies criminal conduct.
It's not criminal, because your parasitic lobbyists have penetrated both aisles of Congress.
The credit card industry is more profitable than McDonalds, Microsoft and Walmart.
You've got yourself a multi-billion dollar racket going, Mr.
Palmer.
Given that we are bigger than Walmart or McDonalds or Microsoft, we enjoy some security.
And potential lawsuits like this? We have an expression in Texas, Mr.
Shore.
You're all hat, and no cattle.
Here's the thing about me.
I am a hoot.
But I insist on putting adversary back into the system.
And I do it openly and notoriously for all to hear.
While a swell guy like you doesn't want the public to know that of the thousands of industries tracked by the Better Business Bureau, the credit card racket is number one in customer complaints.
You don't want them to know that you deliberately target those who won't be able to pay off their debts.
People you call, revolvers.
People who see, zero percent interest in big blue print, and don't know that with just one late payment, you skyrocket their interest to 30 percent.
That if they so much as inquire about leasing a car, you raise their rates.
You don't want the public to know that while over seven million families have filed for bankruptcy in the last five years, you got Congress to change the bankruptcy code to make it next to impossible for people to discharge credit card debt.
You don't want people to know that the credit card industry is essentially a pack of hyenas crunching on the bones of the poor, do you? I smell something awful.
I think it's you.
Yes, this case has the stench of big tobacco and asbestos all over it.
Luckily our firm has nine offices around the US, London and Hong Kong, strategically positioned for massive class action suits.
And once the company you represent smells it, too.
They'll find you're not nearly smart or powerful enough and they'll drop you for a firm that employs expertise and intimidation rather than down home hokum and smiley handshakes.
And this is my favorite part, when your firm fires your obsequiese ass for losing their client, oh, my God! The stress! Your tan will fade, you'll gain a few pounds, drink a bit more, scream at the kids, and maybe your wife will finally leave you.
For the realtor who sells your house because after all he'll still be able to afford Christmas in Aruba and next year's convertible.
Hey, fella.
Don't worry about it.
It'll be a hoot.
You okay? Brad! - Jury's back.
- Already? Let's go.
Mr.
Shore May I borrow a moment of your time? At 30 percent interest.
You know what you are? You're a pistol, that's what.
Listen.
I've thought a lot of many of the issues you raised.
And, well, you touched me.
Did I? It was certainly never our intent to victimize Melissa.
Or anybody for that matter in her financial constraints.
- No? - I talked to my clients.
Relayed to them that, well You were touched.
We've decided to forgive all debts and loans to Melissa.
Just wipe it clean.
How about that? - Now I'm touched.
- Of course my people are concerned about precedent.
And others demanding similar amnesty so the offer would have to be conditioned on confidentiality.
Well, May I say as a personal aside, it has been a real pleasure meeting both you and Melissa.
I wish you continued health and happiness in the future.
You know we have a little saying in Massachusetts.
Maybe someday you'll get horribly sick and die.
Until then! You You dog.
Mr.
Foreman, have you reached a verdict? - We have, your honor.
- What say you? On the charge of kidnapping we find the defendant, Bradley Chase not guilty.
On the charge of false imprisonment we find the defendant, Bradley Chase not guilty.
On the charge of aggravated assault, we find the defendant, Bradley Chase not guilty.
The jury is dismissed.
The court thanks you for your service.
Mr.
Chase, you are free to go.
Though personally I find your behavior to be shocking and outrageous! We are adjourned.
Thank you.
You got lucky, Brad.
You do know that.
I know.
Denny? Thanks.
Thank you.
First of all, I just wanna say thank-you.
Which, of course, goes totally without saying, but I'm saying it anyway.
Second, I will work here for free to pay off my legal fees if you want me to.
I don't.
Third, and this is not a come-on, it is just a statement of fact.
When you rattled off that whole, you don't want the public to know, laundry list That was the single sexiest thing I have ever seen a man do.
You should see me when I do it naked.
I'm just gonna go, um, change my screensaver.
We won our case.
Did you hear? I did.
Brad must be relieved.
How'd your case with Hands go? Well.
Can I ask you something, friend to friend? Of course.
Shirley made this comment, "Don't make it about me".
Do I do that? - Get outta town.
- Seriously.
Do I act like I'm the only one in the room? Denny, one of the things I love about you is when we talk.
Often it's as if you're not even in the room.
Promise? I was brilliant by the way.
I wish you've been there.
I wish I had as well, Denny.
I must tell you though, it's not that I don't appreciate the value of fascistic problem solving, but given Brad and the FBI's tactics here, if I had been the prosecutor, Brad'd be in prison tonight.
And if I'd be representing the pedophile, I'd be getting him out.
I'd have shot him.
Right.
Think we'll ever see the day when the defense lawyer will be legally permitted to shoot the defendant? We seem to be making progress.
Denny Crane.
I'll be your attorney.