Carter (2018) s02e10 Episode Script

1 MARTIN: Charlie Carter, you can walk in here and derail my investigation.
But the bottom line is, I spell "murder" with an "M" just like the next guy.
HARLEY: Stop.
Stop, stop, stop.
Stop, stop, stop.
What was that? - Acting.
- Hmm.
I don't want you acting.
I want you to live it.
I want you to love it.
I want you to feel it! Yes.
You are playing Detective Sneeps Sneepkins.
He was - I never saw the show.
- What? I said I never saw the show, man.
What the fritz, Martin? He was Harley's nemesis on every season of Call Carter, and a fan favourite, I might add.
I only took drama so I didn't have to do the mandatory gym course, okay? My heart lies squarely in the world of science.
The world has enough scientists.
We need more actors.
DAVE: You're rehearsing the grand finale for Bishop's 150th Birthday Weekend, so pay attention.
This is the only man who should be talking right now.
He's your director.
Who are you again? - I'm Dave.
I'm your stage manager.
- Gross.
What? Why is that gross? why is that gross? - Duh.
- You're very mean.
She is really mean.
All right.
Mercedes, take a chill pill.
Yes, Dave is our stage manager, and that's the lowest rung on the totem pole.
But he's still a human.
Listen up.
Come Saturday night, these seats are going to be filled, Oh, and speaking of, it is my honour to introduce to you the OG Detective Sneeps Sneepkins, Dwick Brisebois! - DAVE: Yes! - (LAUGHING) Clap.
Clap.
When I finally realized you were never coming back to Los Angeles, what choice did I have? What, you're stalking me now? Get your butt up here.
Oh, Harley, you said you wouldn't make a big deal.
- I feel kind of weird.
- Dwick is a lot more shy, a lot more humble than I am.
But we had a blast shooting nine seasons of Call Carter.
- Sure did.
- This is the guy you said I look like? He's like your doppelgänger, 50 years from now.
Exactly how old do you think I am? - 70.
- Ah, Jesus.
Okay.
Dave and I are going to grab some vegan smoothies over at North Star, but Mr.
Brisebois is going to hang around here, give you some pointers.
Run some lines.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
Come on.
Come on.
No, no, no.
As I said, I'm here on vacation.
I just wanted to hit the beach, get some sun.
Here you go.
Okay.
I could run some lines, I guess.
You know, believe it or not, I myself was once a bit of a science nerd.
- I believe it.
- You are so mean.
She is so mean.
- Good luck.
- Ah.
BOYLE: I think we should cordon off the boardwalk.
Filter people through the North Beach pathway.
You agree? I agree, yeah.
Especially when the fireworks display happens, we want to have all of these exit routes mapped.
Hey.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just I know every inch of this town, and every spot has a memory.
Seems like you're thinking about a particular spot right now.
No, it's just I mean, yes, but it's It's kid stuff.
This is my interested face.
Um okay.
I was I was a freshmen in high school, and I was supposed to meet this boy Ah! out here it was the carnival, summer night.
In a way, it was supposed to be my first real date, and the guy didn't show up.
He didn't show up? What idiot wouldn't show up for you.
You'll excuse me if I'm too blunt, but I don't know how else to play this.
Don't you think we should talk about what happened at the range? That I outshot you? Yeah Um listen, uh, I know what happened, and we should talk about it, it's just I'm not always that great at putting together the right words to describe how I'm feeling.
All right, I understand that.
I get it.
Just make sure you let me know when the right words come together.
- I will.
- Okay.
We got time.
Yeah.
We got time.
But right now, we should head back to the station, start initiating this plan.
- Yeah, let's do that.
- Okay.
CARTER: Okay, Tears for Fears, brilliant name.
A Flock of Seagulls, ridiculous.
Oh, I like it.
Men at Work, brilliant.
Men Without Hats, ri-donc-ulous.
Okay, okay.
Counting Crows Oh, that's a hard one.
Smash Mouth? What the Sam! Sam! Sam! - She's breathing.
- Oh, God.
- CARTER: Dave, call an ambulance.
- DAVE: Yeah.
Boyle! Hey Call all the ambulances, Dave.
Here comes the jiggly! No, I feel fine.
I don't want any jiggly.
- Come on, have a little jiggly.
- I don't want any.
Here comes the jiggly train.
Chugga-chugga-chugga Come on, have a little jiggly.
Jiggly train trying to get into the station.
All right, fine.
Suit yourself.
Hey, Dave, you want some jiggly? Wes, what have we got? All personnel at the station at the time of the attack had at least trace amounts of the drug ketamine in their systems.
Chief Boyle hit his head when he fell.
He's stable, but in and out of consciousness.
Ketamine? It's often used as an anaesthetic in surgeries.
All right, Dave and I are going to head to the station, - try and see if we can figure this out.
- Well, I'm coming with you.
Maybe you should rest until your functions stabilize.
I'm not gonna stay in this bed while this is happening.
Let's get back to work.
I'm still a cop.
I've gotta change.
- Oh, okay.
- What? - I think she - Sorry.
ABIGAIL: Miss Mayor, I get this is a big deal for your town.
Yes, I get that it's not every day a town turns 150 years old, but with all due, there has been a serious threat.
You should cancel all the festivities.
Fine, it's your call.
I'll keep you posted.
Um, hi there, how are you? Abigail? - Sam, hello.
- Hi, this is Staff Sergeant Major Pershing, Lynn RCMP.
Oh Pershing? As in Chief Pershing? My dad, Angus, yes.
Oh this is amazing! How are you? I am I know who you are.
The peacock.
Aside from the nickname, he doesn't talk about you much, which tells me everything I need to know.
The peacock? Your dad was the best, I always used to give him these hugs and lift him up, and his feet would just dangle just a little bit off the ground.
It was so cute.
Tell him that we said hi.
Abigail, I haven't seen you since you were finishing up training.
So you're a sergeant? Congratulations.
Thanks, Sam.
I've worked hard.
Hard enough to feel comfortable in someone else's office? Your chief has been incapacitated.
I've been put in charge of this investigation with the full authority of my branch.
And this is an office I've spent a considerable amount of time in as a kid, so yeah, I'd say it feels pretty familiar.
Now this whole station is considered a crime scene so I'm having your coffee stations and vending machines tested by the lab.
I'm sorry, you think an entire depament was poisoned from bad station coffee or a nasty nut and nougat bar in the vending machine? - SAM: Harley.
- Do you have a better idea, Carter? Well I mean, the fact that the ketamine had such a wide effect, it was probably airborne.
Likely administered from the vents or the ducts.
That's where I'd start.
But hey, what do I know? I'm just a peacock.
(SQUAWKING) I'm so sorry.
Abigail, we found this canister in the ducts filled with ketamine.
The fan blew it into the vents.
Looks like Harley was right.
ABIGAIL: Are you kidding me? CARTER: Guys, let's concentrate on the upside here.
I was right! ABIGAIL: Zip it, Carter.
Thank you.
Me and my team will take it from here.
Why don't you three go through the surveillance footage? If you can handle that.
Surveillance footage? What are we, rent-a-cops? You don't think Abigail squeezing us out of this investigation is in any way suspicious? If you would pay attention, maybe we could be the ones cracking the case right here.
Oh, no! Abigail's purse just fell! What the hell are you doing? That is a sergeant's personal property.
Well, she left her purse out here, so it's kind of her fault.
Yeah, you know, some psychologists might say she wanted us to search it.
By the way, three hand sanitizers? Well, that explains why she didn't want to shake our hands.
- Guys - It's a plain view search, which I'm pretty sure is a thing.
It's a thing when you have probable cause.
Are you really gonna let Pershing's offspring just waltz in here and take over our investigation? In my world, there is something called the chain of command.
And as abrasive as she may be, Abigail was sent here to do a job.
You just have a problem with authority, so get your fingers out of that woman's purse.
Freeze it.
Freeze it right there.
That's from four days ago.
- Rame Duct Works? - No, no, no, that's a fake name.
It's like a name that a bunch of writers on a TV show would come up with, 'cause it's easy to clear.
It's probably the writers' initials, like, Roddy, Andy, Michael, Evan.
- Roddy? - DAVE: Get this.
There is no business in Bishop called Rame Duct Works.
So who's the guy in the jacket? Want to explain this, Carter? Oh, if you wanted an autograph, you probably should have been nicer to me when we first met.
This whole thing is about you.
We found this in the duct.
DAVE: "Dear Carter, real danger, fake detective.
" "Having your fun yet? Wondering what's next? Celebrate big.
" It's a riddle.
I'm gonna have to call in our code department.
But there is no question that there is a clock on this.
- Look how it's signed.
- XOXOXO.
No, there's a U in there.
DAVE: XOXO-U-XO.
Is that a mistake? No, UXO is military speak for unexploded ordinance.
IE, a possible live bomb.
They still find them on the beaches at Normandy 75 years after World War II.
I know it's not the same thing, but they're holding that 150th beach volleyball tournament down at Calypso Beach right now.
We have to get to that beach, and we need to bring a bomb squad with us.
OFFICER ON LOUDSPEAKER: Plot 26.
I need a go signal, or an all clear.
- Do you have eyes? - All clear.
OFFICER ON LOUDSPEAKER: Plot 26, what are we looking at? SECOND OFFICER: Not an explosive, no detonator.
But I don't know what this thing is.
CARTER: Hey, look, it's me! North American tour of Grease.
ABIGAIL: "Kaboom! You got lucky this time, but unless flavour" "of the month, Harley Carter, leaves Bishop," "you're all gonna get assaulted.
" (ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC PLAYS) On a positive note, the ice cream truck just got here.
(ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC PLAYS) That was the mayor on the phone.
In light of what could have been a major tragedy More like a minor prank.
She's given me full authority to cancel the celebration, including your little high school play.
Effective immediately.
Okay.
You know what? I'm just gonna come out and say it.
Abigail Pershing is the worst.
Right? Well, unofficially, I got your back, but she she really scares me.
What if this is just an elaborate scheme for her to make a name for herself? - I wasn't thinking that.
- How would that work, exactly? Think about it.
She creates the mayhem to save the town from mayhem, and become the hero.
- Compelling.
- It's not, really.
She rolls into town, from out of nowhere, she's got an attitude, she is determined to cancel the town's celebration.
She is the one who finds the notes on the back of my precious head shots.
She's clearly got it our for me.
Oh, yes, okay.
I see.
So this is about you.
No, no, no.
That's not what I meant.
You're kinda reaching there, buddy.
There's something off about Abigail Pershing! I can feel it! (GASPING) Excuse me.
Sorry.
We're going to have to commandeer this and your helmet for a police investigation.
Thank you.
Hey! Hey, relax, it's the most exciting thing to happen to you since I walked up to you five seconds ago.
Thank you! - SAM: What are you doing? - Just look, look, look.
That dude was filming the whole time.
Let's see if Abigail Pershing was up to any suspicious activity - Oh my gosh.
- What is it? These new pants I got.
Look at me running! They fit me so well, all that core work is really paying off.
Okay, here we go, Sam.
Come and take a look at this.
Who is that? SAM: That's Jasper Hightower, he's a veterinarian.
Why is Abigail Pershing yelling at a veterinarian? That is a good question.
Dr.
Hightower? Sorry.
The door I came here to talk I'm sorry, what is that smell? Oh, I'm just doing labs on four-year-old Jason Kinewski's - stool sample.
- A four-year-old child? No, Jason's a Golden-doodle with some pretty severe IBS issues.
I'll say.
Oh my God, did you just - No no! It's chocolate.
- SAM: Oh DR.
HIGHTOWER: Just chocolate.
You know, with a little nut and caramel.
- Care for one? - No.
Are you my one PM? The Cornish Rex with the abscessed tooth? No, I'm Sam Shaw, Bishop PD.
I came to talk to you about Abigail Pershing.
- The Great Dane? - The RCMP sergeant.
Pershing yeah.
Pershing.
Remember that name But I don't, 'cause I don't know her.
That's funny, because, uh, you were seen here arguing with her on video, about an hour ago.
Oh Abigail Per-shing.
Yeah, I don't "know her" know her, but I'm just familiar with her from when she was a kid, you know, and I was a kid, and we were both kids.
What were you talking about? We were just catching up, you know, like, "Hey, how's your dad?" "He's good, how's your dad?" "He's also good.
" Okay, here's the thing, Dr.
Hightower.
The labs from the attack on the precinct came back showing traces of ketamine.
What does that have to do with me? Ketamine is used along with other drugs to anaesthetize livestock for surgery, and I mean, you're the town veterinarian, and you were seen arguing with the sergeant who is investigating that very attack so it seemed like a fair line of questioning.
Have you had any ketamine go missing lately? Look, I told you everything I know, and I think I've been very helpful, so if there's nothing else, please leave.
Just so you know, protecting somebody can make you an accessory after the fact.
You'll excuse me if I don't shake your hand.
DAVE: Chilli time - You're not eating? - No, I'll pass.
Too salty.
Gord, the fry cook, has an itchy salt finger.
Always has.
Mr.
Dwick, a selfie? Oh Sure, of course.
Loved you on Call Carter, not sure what I've seen you in since.
But to me, you'll always be Sneeps.
Just indelible.
You're a real weasel.
(LAUGHING) Oh, you are so sweet.
Ah, I tell you.
In our business, you're lucky to get one role that people identify with you that strongly.
Yeah, we had a good time on Call Carter, but I'm sort of glad that I hung it up.
I mean, you remember how close we all got on the show.
I feel that way here in Bishop, except I don't have to deal with ratings, or worry about getting canceled.
(LAUGHING) Ah, look who it is.
The admirable Martin Seymour Hoffman.
I should be pissed at you for ruining the festival if I wasn't so relieved that we don't have to do that stupid scene from your stupid show.
You want me to take care of that kid? You want to blame someone for canceling all these festivities? Look no further than Abigail Pershing! (ABIGAIL CLEARING THROAT) - Beat it.
- Hey, you know I gotta go to the restroom.
Sorry guys.
I'm so scared of her.
You're going to take this pen, and you are going to write down the names of everyone in this town who has or will have a grudge against you.
So, they're keeping you sedated until the swelling in your brain goes down, but the nurse said I should feel free to talk to you.
So here it goes.
I thought I knew how I wanted things to go in my life.
But I don't know.
Lately, I've just I've been thinking that maybe there's something more out there for me.
And I never thought that before you showed up.
And the kiss was good.
It felt good.
And also bad because it was just so confusing.
It just sparked so many unanswered questions.
So here we are.
And now we have a ticking clock of a different kind, and a case that's running away from us.
Maybe I should fill you in on what you've missed.
No one has a grudge against me in this town.
Everyone loves me.
ABIGAIL: A third attack is imminent, and people are in danger.
So if you truly love Bishop, start writing.
And take your time, I wouldn't want you to miss anyone.
CARTER: What about this guy? Yes, you're right, that man hates you.
SAM: So the first note brought us to the beach, so the second note has to have a clue in it that tells us where the third attack happens.
"If flavour of the month Harley Carter doesn't leave," "you will all be assaulted.
" Uh Harley Carter flavour of the month doesn't leave, you will all be assaulted Assaulted assaulted A-salted.
Salt.
It's something you flavour, something you salt it's food! Uh, but what What would you salt that the whole town would be eating? I gotta tell you, I think there's something funky in that chilli.
Mommy, I feel funny I don't feel so good.
(VOMITING) WOMAN: Oh my God.
We've been poisoned! Ugh Nobody eat the ew! (PEOPLE VOMITING) And scene.
Constable, all evidence must be bagged and tagged.
You mean this mysterious odd and foreboding medical vial? A medical vial possibly used in the poisoning of our citizenry? That was curiously found next to the tire of your vehicle? Here's what I'm curious about.
All of these police here, and the amateur is the one who finds this.
Interesting.
Bag it.
We'll send it to an independent lab outside of Bishop.
Cutting Wes out of the picture, you still think your girl is on the up-and-uppies? What I think is that sometimes ambitious women are labeled differently than ambitious men.
This is her crime scene.
Okay we're going to have to take this into our own hands.
Oh yeah, and how are we gonna do that? Depends on how hungry you still are.
(STOMACH GURGLING) What can you tell us about the chilli? (STOMACH GURGLING) - Wow, you gonna be okay? - Yeah.
Well, if Gord made it, I'm guessing it was over-salted.
- Right? - But it also contained high concentrations of major alkaloids emetine, methyl cephaline, and cephaline, which act locally by irritating the gastric mucosa, and centrally by stimulating the medullary chemoreceptor trigger zone.
Ah, yes medullary chemoreceptor trigger zone.
Yes, of course.
- Ingles, por favor.
- Thank you.
It's ipecac.
It basically makes you hurl.
And there's worse news, as far as finding a culprit, Harley.
You can buy this over the counter at any pharmacy, so it could be virtually anyone.
(OFFICERS CHATTERING) (CHATTERING) Oh we believe this is the shovel used to dig the whole at the beach, we found it discarded at a nearby wooded area.
We're still trying to pull a print from the shaft.
- He said "shaft.
" - What is literally wrong with you two? CARTER: Sam, you snuck into the records room?! SAM: Yes, I snuck in there.
You're not the only one who can break the rules.
But from what I found in there, I think you might be right about Abigail.
We have to find her.
Hey, where's Pershing? OFFICER: She's in the interrogation room.
- I want you to tell me the truth! - What is this? I'm interrogating my prime suspect.
- A kid? - ABIGAIL: He's fifteen, and he's admitted to defacing one of Carter's billboards.
He blacked out his teeth, drew a moustache, and horns.
No, those weren't horns, but yeah, okay, I was trying to get back at him, 'cause every day, he walks into drama class like he's cooler than Johnny Galecki.
CARTER (OVER INTERCOM): Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I'm not cooler than Johnny Galecki? - Why isn't he in here? Sorry, too many people in this scene! I'm just waiting for my cue.
I didn't attack anyone, I swear.
The ketamine used in the attack was stolen from your father's cabinet he knew it, and that's why he lied to me at the beach.
To protect you.
And here's the kicker.
We pulled this from your social media.
And I quote, "Harley Carter has turned this whole town" "into a crap episode of his crap show.
" "Time to cancel it and him.
" CARTER (ON INTERCOM): Wow, Martin.
Super rude about my show.
I'm pretty sure that was a death threat! - SAM: Harley! - Yeah, I really think my son did it.
- Dad! - I love my boy, but all the evidence is pointing right at him! Also you should probably read his diary, too.
It's possibly filled with a lot of really dark thoughts.
You read my diary?! You're supposed to be a genius, right? And under the mattress is the best hiding spot you could think of?! Martin is a self-professed science aficionado.
he'd be capable of knowing how to set up the ketamine for maximum effect in the vents.
Martin? Well, yeah, of course I know how, that's like science 101.
That is a viable theory, Abigail.
Thank you, Sam.
I'm glad you approve.
But I have discovered another theory.
Rafalski? Keep an eye on these two for a few minutes? - ABIGAIL: That's my suspect.
- Not going anywhere.
DR.
HIGHTOWER: You know, uh, in a pinch, - a toothbrush makes for a handy shiv.
- MARTIN: Dad! Angus Pershing did not retire willingly.
I read this in his file.
I did not know that, and it sucks.
He was forced out He gave his life's blood to this town.
SAM: And I wouldn't blame you if you held Bishop, and maybe even Harley Carter responsible.
I mean, he didn't exactly make your dad's last year easy.
Excuse me, are you accusing me of something? How could I even do that? I was assigned this case, I'm not a fortune teller.
Harley, you ready for your show and tell? Finally.
Been waiting for my cue.
Sergeant Pershing.
Do you mind if we take a look-see in your purse? - What? - Thank you.
We conducted a legal open view search of the contents of your purse, and we found nothing out of the ordinary, except for this receipt for an open pharmacy item.
Might it be for ipecac? Well done, Harley Carter! But the $18.
95 isn't for ipecac.
It's for Werther's Original butter candy.
An impulse buy.
Are you proud of yourself? This is not about the Werther's, this is about the date.
The date you bought those delicious sucking candies.
Four days ago.
SAM: Before anything went down, before there was a case to be assigned, you were here and had access and opportunity to plant everything.
I was in town helping my father.
Your father was in Florida playing golf.
He came back for his birthday.
But I'm sure you guys forgot about that.
Just like you forgot about him.
And that gives you legs to an alibi.
And that's why I'm going to arrest Martin and hold him responsible.
And I guess that's good news for you, Harley Carter.
You get to put on your little high school play.
- I thought for sure we had her.
- We'll get her.
- (DISTANT SHOUTING) - What the hell is going on out there? What is that? - There's about 30 more just like this - - being paraded around out there, - calling for you to leave town! I mean, the whole station is a mad house, man! You know, I have never replaced an actor who was incarcerated before.
Couple of dead guys, sure.
(FLAPPING GUMS) Toy boat.
Toy boat.
Toy boat.
Toy boat.
(SLURRING) Ah, can't believe I get to play Sneeps again.
You know, I don't know if I'm excited or nervous.
(CHUCKLING) You know, I just haven't felt this way in a long time, and I like it.
I doubt anyone's gonna show up, anyway.
Pershing really torpedoed my cred in this town.
Hey you know what? So what if it doesn't work out in Bishop? You've always got a home in Hollywood.
You know, my couch is your couch.
Actually, it is your couch! You gave it to me when you moved back here.
All right.
(GROANING) - Need some help? - No, no.
I got it.
(CRACKING BACK) (GROANING) All right, I'm gonna run out and grab a smoke, and I'll see you in the scene, buddy.
Ah, yeah.
Harley, I hope this isn't a bad time.
I wouldn't want to break your concentration before the big show.
It doesn't matter, what do you need? I brought you an opening night present.
I was able to identify the person whose prints were on the shovel we found near the beach.
But it's odd.
(GASPING) - Harley Carter, you've done it again! - Is he talking to me? Hey, what are you doing here? Get out of here! No civilians backstage, go! Guys, you're not gonna believe this.
It's a full house.
You see that? The town does believe in you! People didn't stay away, they had to be turned away! It's a who's who of Bishop out there! (CROWD CHATTERING) (CHEERING) Listen to me, Charlie Carter.
You can walk in here, derail my investigation, take a lot of cheap shots at my methods But I spell murder with an "M" just like the next guy.
So good he's so good.
Murder The end for some, just the beginning for Charlie Carter.
Hey, you know what, everybody? You folks all know how this scene goes.
I have a theory.
Sneeps has a theory.
My theory is usually right.
(LAUGHING) You've seen this scene after scene, episode after episode, - season after season.
- Hey, buddy, that's not the line.
Harley, what are you doing? You're gonna blow all the cues! He's gonna blow all the cues.
We were going to perform for you an episode of Call Carter, but I thought we'd try something a little different tonight.
A little something called improvisation.
- (SNORTING) - Hey, everybody! That's our rascal of an evidence tech, Wes, right over there! Let's give him a round of applause, everybody, yes! Yes! MAN: Sit down, jerk face! Now, Wes actually came to me with a very important piece of information, right before we all took the stage.
He gave me the identity of the person whose fingerprints we found on the shovel that was used to bury the fake bomb at Calypso Beach.
And it was none other - than Abigail Pershing.
- (CROWD GASPING) That is not true.
Now listen.
Hold on a second.
I said fingerprints, but it was more specifically one fingerprint.
Her thumb print, over and over and over again.
All up and down the handle.
Now either Abigail is literally all thumbs, or someone planted that thumb print over and over and over again, in order to implicate her.
It reminded me of an episode of Call Carter.
Our guest star was actually Corbin Burnson.
- (CHEERING) - Yes, love him! Weird belly button.
Old Corby's got this long, like, outie.
It's so weird! But, um, Corby played Tom Farfuggen, this baseball manager, drug smuggler who tried to implicate someone by planting their thumbprint all up and down a baseball bat.
Sadly, the scene had to be cut, so only two people in Bishop knew about that scene.
Myself - And Dwick Brisebois.
- (GASPING) It was you, Dwick, who gassed the precinct with ketamine.
It was you who planted the fake bomb at Calypso Beach.
And it was you who tainted the chilli.
And it was you who wrote those notes on the back of my precious head shots.
That's ridiculous.
You're accusing me based on some old footage that nobody's ever even seen.
(CARTER LAUGHING) How very Sneepsian of you.
Well, let me implicate you within an inch of your life.
Dwick used his science background Believe it or not, I myself was a it of a science nerd.
CARTER: To fill the aerosol cans with the ketamine he stole from the town veterinarian.
When Sam told me the cabinet looked like it had been broken into, I remembered the bandage on Dwick's hand.
Dwick then placed the cans in the ducts at the precinct.
You used my suspicion of Abigail Pershing to frame her.
She creates the mayhem to save the town from mayhem - to be the hero! - Compelling.
CARTER: Dwick claimed he needed to use the restroom so he could slip out and plant the ipecac in Abigail's car, but it was locked, so he placed the bottle by the tire.
Then he pretended to be sick from the chilli.
I gotta tell ya, I think there's something funky in that chilli.
CARTER: Even though he hadn't eaten any, 'cause he knew it was filled with stomach-clearing ipecac.
But all that would have been circumstantial without hardcore physical evidence, like prints, which you pulled off of Abigail's mug at the diner, and then disguised yourself as RCMP in order to get access.
SAM: Hey, where's Pershing? She's in the interrogation room.
CARTER: And plant those prints on the shovel.
We all know being an actor is the most important job on a TV show don't tell the writers I said that.
And as actors, we have our go-to's, our tricks of the trade.
Dwick, yours is your elaborate handwriting on the murder board.
Did you know you can positively identify someone based on their handwriting, the same way you can from a fingerprint? Like, for example, the curve of your R here on the murder board matches the curve of the R on the notes written on the back of my precious head shot.
Why, Dwick? Why? Huh? We had such a fun time shooting Call Carter! But maybe that's the reason right there.
When Call Carter ended, you couldn't get another job.
You were typecast as Sneeps.
So what do you do? You try and get the good people of Bishop to turn against me, to force me back to Hollywood, so we would have to resume shooting Call Carter.
But you underestimated the good people of Bishop.
These are my people.
Where no amount of ketamine or fake bombs Yeah! Or tainted chilli could stop us from celebrating our town! (ALL CHEERING) Augh! (CRASHING) (GASPING) Oh, oh, oh! Ladies and gentlemen! Chief Boyle! (CHEERING) You know, Carter, I'm starting to like this acting thing.
You're a natural, they love you! CROWD: Bishop! Bishop! Bishop! You know what? Everybody get up here! Dot! Wes! Dave! Get up here! Everybody get up here, it's time to bow.
Where's my cast?! Come on, everybody! Oh yeah, enjoy it.
Take your bow, folks.
Yes! Whoo! All right, everybody.
We're gonna jump up on three for the freeze frame! One, two, three! BOYLE: I'm in a coma for two seconds and the whole town falls apart.
To pieces.
You feeling okay? Harley Carter, he's something, isn't he? Oh, he is something.
Hey, listen, um, I was made to understand that you were by my side in the hospital.
Thank you.
Uh, were you did you Um, of course.
I mean, you're you're one of us now.
You're family.
Yeah, well, I really feel a part of the town.
Largely because of you.
That's sweet.
Why do I feel a "but" coming? NYPD wants me back.
They offered me a job.
Big job.
Wow.
Good for you.
That's when did you When did you find out? Actually, I've known for a couple of weeks.
Listen, Sam, I want you to understand that everything I said to you the first time we met in my office was all true.
But there's a fire in my belly that's calling me back to the action.
It's just in my bones.
Well, I think you should follow your bones.
There's one big question mark that's making this decision a lot harder.
And that's you.
Me? Us.
Us Look, Sam, I'm not a man who plays games.
Not at this point in my life.
I think there's a lot of potential for us.
I just want a chance to turn that question mark into you know, something else.
So this morning I finally got the results for my mail-in DNA kit.
Turns out I'm not exotic, Harl.
I'm not even a little bit Dutch.
I'm a 100% Northern Canadian guy.
You know what? I'm happy being me.
And I'm grateful for you and what we have.
I love what we have, too! I think we got a few more years in us, a few more seasons.
Me, you, and Sam.
At least, till we get a streaming deal.
Oh.
Look who it is.
- What's going down? - What up? Yeah, boom! Oh, what? Why?! Oh! (LAUGHING) CARTER: Please don't make Dave do that again.
It wasn't great.
- DAVE: See you guys.
- SAM: Yeah, I know.
It's a nice night.
Nice town.
Yeah You ever think about that night? What night? That night you were supposed to meet me on the boardwalk? We were supposed to have a date.
You never showed up.
I'm so sorry.
I I don't remember.
In a way I feel like I've been waiting for you ever since.
Harl, I gotta ask you.
That night, when we were outside of the car The night before Dave married a bank robber Oh And you leaned in to kiss me.
Was that really about Boyle, or What are you asking? Boyle is going back to New York.
He got his old job back with a promotion.
Wow that's great.
Yeah.
He asked me to join him.
Well, to go there and work.
He thinks I'm ready.
Yeah, you you are ready.
You've always been ready.
So you think I should go? I only think it's important what you think.
Well I mean, I think it would be a huge opportunity, you know.
I mean, have I fantasized about something like that? Maybe.
It would be a big learning curve, I'm sure, but I guess what I'm asking is What do you think about Boyle? I think he's terrific.
I mean, I don't know if there's anything real there, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious to find out.
Well, that's two reasons right there.
Okay.
A lot to think about then.
Hey, Harl? Yeah? If I go, you'll come visit, right? You kidding? You and me in New York? Coney dogs, going to see Cats the Musical? Mouthing all the words? We will crush that city.
Good.
Red converse.
No laces.
Smiths t-shirt, torn jean jacket.
That's what you were wearing that night in high school on the boardwalk.
You were there? I thought you were the most beautiful girl.
The most beautiful person I'd ever seen.
I was terrified that I was gonna screw it up.
I kept having this thought, this vision that I would disappoint you someday.
So here we are tonight.
You're still the most beautiful.
I'm still terrified that I'm going to screw it up.
But I also know we rarely get second chances in life, and I'm not gonna make the same mistake again.
Don't go, Sam.
Don't.
Stay.
I know it's not my place.
And I have no right to tell you that, I'm not gonna stand in the way of your dreams.
I got to chase mine.
But if you think we have the slightest chance, the slightest chance Stay.
I'm asking you to stay.
Look at that.
I walked us right into a cliffhanger.
DENTIST: Open wide, say "ahh.
" PATIENT: Ahhhh.