Doug (1991) s02e10 Episode Script
Doug on the Trail/Doug Meets RoboBone
[ yelps]
[ barks]
[ electric guitar playing]
[ man singing scat]
[ barks]
COOL! WHOA!
[ thwack]
[ barks]
LAND, HO!
Doug:
DEAR JOURNAL
LAST WEEKEND I WENT
ON THE BLUFF SCOUT CANOE TRIP
THE TOUGHEST TEST OF
UM, BLUFF SCOUTHOOD.
I'D SPENT A YEAR PREPARING
FOR THIS TRIP.
I WAS ALL SET TO PROVE MYSELF
A REAL BLUFF SCOUT.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
WATER FILTER.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
WATER FILTER.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
PEPPER MILL.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
PEPPER MILL.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
NAVIGATIONAL COMPUTER.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
NAVIGATIONAL COMPUTER.
[ sneezes]
WHOA!
Roger:
BLUFF SCOUT RULE
NUMERO UNO:
DON'T BITE OFF MORE
THAN YOU CAN A-CHEW.
GET IT? A-CHEW!
[ Roger laughs]
OH, NO!
THE COMPUTER.
I'M SORRY, MR. D-D
I'M SORRY, MR. DINK.
[ sneezes]
THAT'S OKAY, DOUGLAS.
I'LL JUST GO BACK
AND GET THE SPARE.
BLUFF SCOUTS, ATTENTION!
BOYS, YOUR SCOUTMASTER
IS RETURNING TO BASE CAMP
TO GET THE SPARE
NAVIGATIONAL COMPUTER.
WHILE I'M GONE
THE SENIOR BLUFF SCOU
WILL BE IN CHARGE.
YOU'RE IN RELIABLE HANDS.
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME,
SCOUTMASTER DINK.
UH-OH.
UH-OH.
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
Doug:
HOURS WENT BY AND SCOUTMASTER
DINK HADN'T COME BACK.
ROGER WAS ENJOYING
HIS NEW POSITION TOO MUCH.
HE ORDERED WILLIE
TO STAKE HIS TENT FOR HIM.
BOOMER HAD TO MAKE HIM LUNCH.
I'D RATHER NOT SAY
WHAT HE ORDERED ME TO DO.
FUNNIE, WHERE
ARE MY WORMS?
I'M ITCHING FOR
SOME FISHING.
DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'RE CARRYING
THIS A BIT TOO FAR?
Skeeter:
ROGER'S REALLY
FLIPPED OUT.
I HOPE SCOUTMASTER
DINK GETS BACK SOON.
SKEET, I'M GETTING
WORRIED ABOUT MR. DINK.
IT'S BEEN FOUR HOURS.
MAYBE HE'S LOS
OR SOMETHING.
YEAH, LOST.
Mr. Dink:
LONGITUDE 32, MARK 16.
THE CAMPSITE SHOULD BE
JUST UP AHEAD.
[ screams]
I HOPE HE'S
NOT LOST.
SHOULD WE
SEND OU
A SEARCHPARTY?
WE COULD BE THE
SEARCH PARTY, SKEET.
COOL, MAN!
LET'S DO IT.
BLUFF SCOUTS
TO THE RESCUE!
ALL RIGHT!
YEAH!
Roger:
I WIN AGAIN!
ROGER,
YOU'RE CHEATING.
THERE IS NO
FIVE OF A KIND.
THERE IS WHEN I'M IN CHARGE.
HEY, DON'
EAT THAT.
IT'S FOR
BLUFF SCOUTMASTERS.
UH, ROGER?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
MR. DINK'S BEEN GONE
FIVE HOURS.
I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD
GO LOOK FOR HIM.
OOH, THAT'S A BIG
NO-CAN-DO, FUNNIE.
WHAT?
WELL, HOW COME?
ACCORDING TO
BLUFF SCOUT RULES
WE DON'T SEARCH
FOR SCOUTMASTER DINK
UNTIL HE'S BEEN
MISSING 12 HOURS.
WAIT A MINUTE.I NEVER HEARD THAT.
I DON'T REMEMBER THAT BEING
IN THE BLUFF SCOUT MANUAL.
SO LOOK IT UP.
AND IF YOU LEAVE CAMP
I'LL DEMOTE YOU BACK
TO TENDER TOE, GOT IT?
YEAH, I GOT IT, ROGER.
HEY, MAN,
HOW'D IT GO?
COME ON, GUYS.
WE'RE GOING
TO FIND MR. DINK
WITH OR WITHOU
ROGER'S PERMISSION.
Doug:
HERE'S THE PLAN.
WE GET INTO THAT CANOE
AND THEN WE ROW AWAY.
UH-OH.
WHERE DO YOU GUYS
THINK YOU'RE GOING?
UM WE WERE
JUST GOING TO
FOR A SPIN
AROUND THE LAKE.
SCOUTMASTER ROGER SAYS
ONLY THE SCOUTMASTER'S
ALLOWED IN THE CANOE
WHICH IS
HIM, NOW.
BUT IF YOU WANT TO GO FIND
THE REAL SCOUTMASTER
BEFORE ROGER DRIVES US CRAZY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
THAT'D BE FINE.
ALL RIGHT!
EXCELLENT!
THANKS, YOU GUYS.
GOOD LUCK.
THE TROOP IS
COUNTING ON US.
I HOPE WE
CAN FIND HIM.
OF COURSE WE CAN.
WE'LL USE BLUFF SCOU
WILDERNESS KNOWLEDGE.
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE HOW
MOSS GROWS
ON THE NORTH
SIDE OF TREES.
AND HOW TO KEEP
CEREAL CRUNCHY
EVEN IN MILK.
YEAH, WE'LL
SHOW EVERYBODY
WE'RE REAL
TRACKERS.
TRUE EXPLORERS,
REAL WILDERNESS MEN.
DOUG FUNNIE, MOUNTAIN MAN
IF HE CAN'T CATCH IT,
NOBODY CAN ♪
WRESTLES MOOSE
WITH HIS BARE HANDS ♪
DOUG FUNNIE, MOUNTAIN MAN.
DEEP TRACKS
WITH TWO TOES.
THE BLUFF SCOU
MANUAL SAYS
THOSE ARE
MOOSE TRACKS.
A FLAT ROUND SPACE
IN THOSE GRASSES
OVER THERE.
LET'S SEE
DEEP-SET FOOTPRINTS
SPACED A YARD APART.
THOSE ARE DINK TRACKS.
I DON'T SEE THA
IN THE BLUFF SCOUT MANUAL.
HOW CAN YOU TELL, DOUG?
JUST READ THE
SIGNS, SKEETER.
WE'VE RUN OU
OF FOOTPRINTS.
WE'LL NEVER FIND
SCOUTMASTER DINK.
WAIT, SKEET.
IT SAYS, "WHEN NO ANIMAL
FOOTPRINTS ARE VISIBLE
HUNTING DOGS CAN OFTEN
TRACK THE ANIMAL'S SCENT."
IF WE HAD
SOMETHING
THAT SMELLED LIKE
SCOUTMASTER DINK
PORKCHOP COULD
FOLLOW HIS SCENT.
YEAH, BUT WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
[ barks]
[ yipping]
NOT NOW, PORKCHOP, I'M THINKING.
[ growls]
HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG I--?
OH, I GET IT.
[ barks]
COME ON, DOUG.
HE'S ON THE SCENT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
PORKCHOP?
SCOUTMASTER DINK?
IT'S ME, DOUG.
ARE YOU IN THERE?
Skeeter:
IT'S MR. DINK'S
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOUT PANTS.
SCOUTMASTER DINK?
[ loud roar]
[ both scream]
POOR
SCOUTMASTER
DINK.
A BEAR MUS
HAVE GOT HIM.
HE WAS MY BES
GROWN-UP FRIEND.
HE WAS THE BES
SCOUTMASTER
I EVER HAD.
AND NOW HE'S BEEN
EATEN BY A BEAR.
[ sobs]
MR. DINK, I'M SORRY
I BROKE YOUR COMPUTER
AND MADE YOU LEAVE CAMP.
I'M GOING TO MISS THAT GUY.
I JUST HOPE,
IF YOU'RE UP THERE
YOU CAN HEAR US NOW.
Mr. Dink:
I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE.
HUH?
HUH?
Both:
MR. DINK?!
HELLO, BOYS.
THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL,
I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT.
Skeeter:
MR. DINK
YOU'RE NOT EATEN UP.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WE THOUGHT WE'D
NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.
WELL, WITHOUT THE COMPUTER,
I GOT A BIT OFF COURSE.
I GOT THE BOAT TO SHORE
BUT HAD TO LAY MY
WET CLOTHES OUT TO DRY.
WHEN I CAME BACK, I SAW
A BEAR AND RAN FOR MY LIFE
AND HERE I AM.
GEE, MR. DINK
I'M GLAD WE CAME
LOOKING FOR YOU.
EVEN IF ROGER SAID
HE WOULD DEMOTE US
TO TENDER TOES.
WHY WOULD ROGER DO THAT?
COME ON, BOYS,
LET'S HAVE IT.
OKAY, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
[ angry voices shouting]
GET BACK TO YOUR TENTS.
I'M IN CHARGE HERE.
MR. DINK SAID SO.
LET'S DEMOTE ROGER
TO TENDER TOE.
[ all cheering]
YOU CAN'T DEMOTE ME.
I'M THE BIG GUY.
I ANSWER ONLY TO
TEN-HUT!
AT EASE.
WHAT'S THIS HUBBUB?
MR. DINK
GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK.
WE WERE WORRIED SICK.
GLAD YOU'VE HELD DOWN THE FORT.
ANY TROUBLE?
NOTHING SERIOUS.
WE DID RUN OUT OF FOOD
BUT I HELD THE TROOP TOGETHER.
HELD US
TOGETHER?
YOU WERE THE ONE
WHO ATE ALL THE FOOD.
WELL, ROGER, SINCE
YOU'VE HAD DINNER
I'LL ORDER
SOME FOR THE
REST OF US.
HELLO, SPEEDY PIZZA?
YES, I'D LIKE TO PUT IN AN ORDER
FOR 17 PIZZAS, PLEASE--
EXTRA CHEESE, MUSHROOM,
PEPPERONI, SAUSAGE AND BEETS.
MAKE IT HEAVY ON THE BEETS.
HOW LONG WILL THAT BE?
WELL, CAN YOU MAKE I
FASTER THAN THAT?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
ADD ANOTHER WITH EXTRA,
EXTRA, EXTRA CHEESE FOR ME.
I LOVE THE STUFF.
SO MR. DINK GOT BACK
SAFE AND SOUND
AND THE BLUFF SCOUT CANOE TRIP
TURNED OUT GREA
AND SCOUTMASTER DINK GAVE US
A SPECIAL MOUNTAIN MAN AWARD.
AND ROGER LEARNED
A VALUABLE LESSON.
AS THE BLUFF SCOU
MANUAL SAYS:
THE SENIOR BLUFF SCOU
SHOULD DO HIS BES
TO SERVE THE TROOP.
ROGER, COULD YOU
PLEASE SERVEME
SOME PEPPERONI PIZZA?
ROGER, ANOTHER SLICE
OF BEET PIZZA HERE.
ONE AT A TIME.
Boy:
MUSHROOM PIZZA OVER HERE.
Roger:
I ONLY GOT TWO HANDS.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
DOUG FUNNIE, MOUNTAIN MAN
IF HE CAN'T CATCH IT,
NOBODY CAN. ♪
DOUG FUNNIE,
HE'S A MOUNTAIN OF A MAN.
Kids:
BRING ON THE BEETS!
BRING ON THE BEETS!
Doug:
DEAR JOURNAL, CALL ME CRAZY
BUT EVER SINCE ELECTED TO
STUDENT ACTIVITY CHAIRPERSON
I WAS DETERMINED TO FIGURE OU
HOW TO GET THE BEETS
TO PLAY AT OUR SCHOOL.
[ rock music playing]
BRING ON THE BEETS!
BRING ON THE BEETS!
BRING ON THE BEETS!
HEY, MAN
I LOVE YOUR GIANT-
LETTER-TO-THE-
BEETS IDEA.
BUT DO YOU REALLY
THINK IT WILL WORK?
OF COURSE IT WILL, SKEET.
WHEN THEY SEE HOW MANY
LOYAL FANS THEY HAVE HERE
THEY'RE BOUND TO COME.
Kids:
BRING ON THE BEETS!
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
Doug:
IT HAD BEEN DAYS SINCE WE
SENT OUR LETTER TO THE BEETS.
I'D JUST ABOUT
GIVEN UP HOPE WHEN
AS YOU WERE, PEOPLE.
I'VE GOT A FAX HERE
ADDRESSED TO THE STUDEN
ACTIVITIES CHAIRPERSON.
THAT'S YOU, DOUG.
All:
WHAT'S IT SAY?
THEY'LL DO IT.
THE BEETS WILL PLAY
A CONCERT AT OUR SCHOOL.
AH-EE-OO
KILLER TOFU!
EE-A-EE
OO-EE-OO
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
QUIET DOWN!
I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE
BUT THERE WON'T BE
ANY BEET CONCERT IN MY SCHOOL.
HUH?
THE BEETS DO NOT PLAY
THE KIND OF MUSIC
APPROPRIATE FOR
A SCHOOL CONCERT.
[ all whine]
PERHAPS IF YOU'D CHOSEN
A MORE WHOLESOME MUSICAL GROUP
LIKE, SAY, OH,
THE BLUFFINGTON YODELERS
THAT WOULD BE
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY.
THAT'S YOUR GROUP, ISN'T IT?
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
I MEAN IT, MISTER,
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
IT'S NOT FAIR
AFTER ALL THE
WORK WE DID
GETTING THE
BEETS TO COME.
IT'S LIKE HE'S
PROGRAMMED TO SAY NO.
YEAH, LIKE A ROBOT.
"THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED."
"THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED."
[ all imitating Mr. Bone]
HMM, I WONDER HOW QUAILMAN
WOULD DEAL WITH MR. BONE.
THE ADVENTURES OF QUAILMAN
THE SUPERHERO
WHO ALWAYS WEARS
CLEAN UNDERWEAR OVER HIS PANTS
AND HIS GRATEFUL COMPANION,
QUAILDOG.
Mayor White:
IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE THA
I DEDICATE THE NEW GYMNASIUM
TO OUR SUPERHERO WITH
THE MIGHTY SLAM DUNK-- QUAILMAN!
WELL, GOSH, FOLKS.
WELL, IT ALL BEGAN WHEN I WAS
BUT A TINY QUAIL BABY HUH?
SPACESHIP!
[ horrified murmuring]
ATTENTION!
I AM ROBOBONE.
WE ARE ASSISTANT PRINCIPALS
FROM PLANET NUMBULUS.
FORM A SINGLE LINE
AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
WE HAVE COME TO EARTH
TO DO WHAT WE DO BEST.
WHAT'S THAT?
BOSS PEOPLE AROUND.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
ROBOCLONES,
LET'S ROAM THE HALLS.
THIS SCHOOL IS OFFICIALLY
UNDER MY COMMAND.
HUH?
Robobone:
SINGLE FILE.
COME, QUAILDOG.
WE'D BETTER KEEP
THESE ROBOCLONES
UNDER CLOSE SURVEILLANCE.
Patti:
I SAID, "YOU BETTER MAKE
A HARD COPY BEFORE YOU REBOOT."
THEN SHE SAID
Robobone:
HOLD IT!
DO YOU HAVE HALL PASSES?
HUH?
UM, NO.
HYPER-DETENTIONS FOR YOU.
AND LET'S SEE
IF YOUR LOCKERS
PASS INSPECTION.
LOCKER STATUS:
LOTS OF JELLY DONUTS
MOLDY BANANA
SMELLY GYM SOCK.
ANALYSIS: NOT CLEAN.
LIFE IN DETENTION
FOR BOTH OF YOU.
LIFE IN DETENTION?
WOW! THEY'RE STRICT.
HUH?
Robobone:
THOSE FUNNY PANTS DO NO
CONFORM WITH THE DRESS CODE.
THAT'S INSTAN
DETENTION HALL
FOR YOU AND
YOUR FAMILY.
HELP ME, QUAILMAN.
HELP!
HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE.
SAVE US,
QUAILMAN.
THIS IS WORSE
THAN I THOUGHT.
COME, QUAILDOG.
IT'S THINKING TIME.
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO DEFEAT ROBOBONE
AND HIS ARMY OF ROBOCLONES?
WE NEED A SECRET WEAPON.
[ coughs]
COUGH.
COUGH.
QUAILDOG, YOU'RE A GENIUS.
A LITTLE CLOSER, QUAILDOG.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER.
YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE
FOR FLYING TOO LOW
OVER SCHOOL PROPERTY.
WE'LL SEE YOU
IN DETENTION
FOREVER!
YOUR POWER-TRIPPING DAYS
ARE NUMBERED, ROBOBONE.
IT'S TIME TO UNLEASH
OUR SECRET WEAPON.
KIDS, GET YOUR
PARENTS' PERMISSION
BEFORE ATTEMPTING THIS AT HOME.
EAT MY DUST,
ROBOBONE.
[ coughing]
IT'S WORKING,
THE DUST IS CLOGGING
THEIR INTERNAL
COMPUTER CHIPS.
HA!
WE CANNOT BE FOILED SO EASILY,
MR. SMARTY-PANTS.
HOW ABOUT A TASTE
OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE, QUAILMAN?
[ coughing]
HA! HA! HA!
DON'T YOU SEE?
YOUR PUNY QUAIL POWERS
ARE USELESS AGAINST US.
I'M NOT THROUGH YET, ROBOBONE.
I'M NO QUITTER.
All:
HELP US!
SAVE US!
Kids:
HELP!
HUH?
THOSE CRIES FOR HELP.
COME ON, QUAILDOG.
HELP!
GET US OUT!
YELL ALL YOU WANT.
OUR INVISIBLE FORCE FIELD WILL
KEEP YOU IN DETENTION FOREVER.
YIKES, QUAILDOG.
QUAILMAN, SAVE US!
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
HOW TO SAY THIS, PATTI
BUT MY QUAIL POWERS
SEEM TO BE NO MATCH
FOR THESE
NO-GOODS.
SAY IT AIN'T SO.
YOU AGAIN?
HAVEN'T YOU HAD
ENOUGH, QUAILMAN?
IF WE TALK THINGS OVER,
WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT.
AS MY QUAIL MOM
USED TO SAY
THERE'S NOTHING THA
CAN'T BE SOLVED
I WARNED YOU.
ALL RIGHT, ROBOCLONES,
SWITCH TO ROBO-YODEL.
[ ear-splitting yodeling]
NO, STOP, I CAN'T TAKE IT.
[ yodeling]
COULDN'T YOU AT LEAS
YODEL IN THE SAME KEY?
THE SAME KEY?
WHY?
IS THIS SOME
KIND OF TRICK?
NO, JUST A SIMPLE
SUPERHERO'S SUGGESTION.
[ harmonious yodeling]
GREAT SOUND!
COOL-IE!
YOU KNOW, ROBOBONE,
YOU SOUND SWELL.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
A CAREER IN SHOW BUSINESS?
HMM, SHOW BUSINESS?
AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS
ROBOBONE AND THE BONETTES
SOON BECAME A MUSICAL SENSATION
WINNING NEW FANS
WHEREVER THEIR OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD
WORLD TOUR TOOK THEM.
[ harmonious yodeling]
BACK HOME, STUDENTS
WALKED THE HALLS SAFELY
THANKS TO THE TIRELESS
EFFORTS OF
QUAILMAN AND QUAILDOG.
QUAILMAN BARGAINED
WITH ROBOBONE.
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY
I CAN BARGAIN WITH MR. BONE.
COME ON, GUYS, FOLLOW ME.
Mr. Bone:
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
IF I LET THE BEETS
PLAY THEIR CONCERT HERE
THE STUDENTS
AGREE TO HAVE
THE BLUFFINGTON YODELERS
PERFORM FIRST?
RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
MR. STUDEN
CHAIRPERSON
YOU'VE GO
YOURSELF A DEAL.
DOUG, YOU DID IT!
[ yodeling]
Doug:
IT WAS WORTH PUTTING UP
WITH THE YODELING GROUP
SO LONG AS WE GOT
TO HEAR THE BEETS.
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT,
BLUFFINGTON.
SAY, THOSE YODELING
DUDES GIVE ME AN IDEA.
AND NOW, THE REAL REASON
YOU'RE PROBABLY ALL HERE--
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BEETS!
[ cheering]
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
WHY? BECAUSE I DO.
I'M GLAD WE WORKED A COMPROMISE
OUT WITH MR. BONE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT LISTENING TO EACH
OTHER AND WORKING THINGS OU
NOT THROWING YOUR WEIGHT AROUND.
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO! I'M TALKING TO YOU.
I NEED TO BUY SOME CDs,
I NEED TO BUY SOME GUM ♪
I MOW THE GRASS,
I CLEAN THE HOUSE ♪
I THINK I DESERVE SOME.
SOME MORE ALLOWANCE!
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
WHY? BECAUSE I DO.
[ loud guitar chord]
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO! I'M TALKING TO YOU.
I NEED TO BUY SOME CDs,
I NEED TO BUY SOME GUM ♪
I MOW THE GRASS,
I CLEAN THE HOUSE ♪
I THINK I DESERVE SOME.
SOME MORE ALLOWANCE!
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
WHY? BECAUSE I DO.
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE.
[ barks]
[ electric guitar playing]
[ man singing scat]
[ barks]
COOL! WHOA!
[ thwack]
[ barks]
LAND, HO!
Doug:
DEAR JOURNAL
LAST WEEKEND I WENT
ON THE BLUFF SCOUT CANOE TRIP
THE TOUGHEST TEST OF
UM, BLUFF SCOUTHOOD.
I'D SPENT A YEAR PREPARING
FOR THIS TRIP.
I WAS ALL SET TO PROVE MYSELF
A REAL BLUFF SCOUT.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
WATER FILTER.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
WATER FILTER.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
PEPPER MILL.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
PEPPER MILL.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
NAVIGATIONAL COMPUTER.
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOU
NAVIGATIONAL COMPUTER.
[ sneezes]
WHOA!
Roger:
BLUFF SCOUT RULE
NUMERO UNO:
DON'T BITE OFF MORE
THAN YOU CAN A-CHEW.
GET IT? A-CHEW!
[ Roger laughs]
OH, NO!
THE COMPUTER.
I'M SORRY, MR. D-D
I'M SORRY, MR. DINK.
[ sneezes]
THAT'S OKAY, DOUGLAS.
I'LL JUST GO BACK
AND GET THE SPARE.
BLUFF SCOUTS, ATTENTION!
BOYS, YOUR SCOUTMASTER
IS RETURNING TO BASE CAMP
TO GET THE SPARE
NAVIGATIONAL COMPUTER.
WHILE I'M GONE
THE SENIOR BLUFF SCOU
WILL BE IN CHARGE.
YOU'RE IN RELIABLE HANDS.
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME,
SCOUTMASTER DINK.
UH-OH.
UH-OH.
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
Doug:
HOURS WENT BY AND SCOUTMASTER
DINK HADN'T COME BACK.
ROGER WAS ENJOYING
HIS NEW POSITION TOO MUCH.
HE ORDERED WILLIE
TO STAKE HIS TENT FOR HIM.
BOOMER HAD TO MAKE HIM LUNCH.
I'D RATHER NOT SAY
WHAT HE ORDERED ME TO DO.
FUNNIE, WHERE
ARE MY WORMS?
I'M ITCHING FOR
SOME FISHING.
DON'T YOU THINK
YOU'RE CARRYING
THIS A BIT TOO FAR?
Skeeter:
ROGER'S REALLY
FLIPPED OUT.
I HOPE SCOUTMASTER
DINK GETS BACK SOON.
SKEET, I'M GETTING
WORRIED ABOUT MR. DINK.
IT'S BEEN FOUR HOURS.
MAYBE HE'S LOS
OR SOMETHING.
YEAH, LOST.
Mr. Dink:
LONGITUDE 32, MARK 16.
THE CAMPSITE SHOULD BE
JUST UP AHEAD.
[ screams]
I HOPE HE'S
NOT LOST.
SHOULD WE
SEND OU
A SEARCHPARTY?
WE COULD BE THE
SEARCH PARTY, SKEET.
COOL, MAN!
LET'S DO IT.
BLUFF SCOUTS
TO THE RESCUE!
ALL RIGHT!
YEAH!
Roger:
I WIN AGAIN!
ROGER,
YOU'RE CHEATING.
THERE IS NO
FIVE OF A KIND.
THERE IS WHEN I'M IN CHARGE.
HEY, DON'
EAT THAT.
IT'S FOR
BLUFF SCOUTMASTERS.
UH, ROGER?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
MR. DINK'S BEEN GONE
FIVE HOURS.
I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD
GO LOOK FOR HIM.
OOH, THAT'S A BIG
NO-CAN-DO, FUNNIE.
WHAT?
WELL, HOW COME?
ACCORDING TO
BLUFF SCOUT RULES
WE DON'T SEARCH
FOR SCOUTMASTER DINK
UNTIL HE'S BEEN
MISSING 12 HOURS.
WAIT A MINUTE.I NEVER HEARD THAT.
I DON'T REMEMBER THAT BEING
IN THE BLUFF SCOUT MANUAL.
SO LOOK IT UP.
AND IF YOU LEAVE CAMP
I'LL DEMOTE YOU BACK
TO TENDER TOE, GOT IT?
YEAH, I GOT IT, ROGER.
HEY, MAN,
HOW'D IT GO?
COME ON, GUYS.
WE'RE GOING
TO FIND MR. DINK
WITH OR WITHOU
ROGER'S PERMISSION.
Doug:
HERE'S THE PLAN.
WE GET INTO THAT CANOE
AND THEN WE ROW AWAY.
UH-OH.
WHERE DO YOU GUYS
THINK YOU'RE GOING?
UM WE WERE
JUST GOING TO
FOR A SPIN
AROUND THE LAKE.
SCOUTMASTER ROGER SAYS
ONLY THE SCOUTMASTER'S
ALLOWED IN THE CANOE
WHICH IS
HIM, NOW.
BUT IF YOU WANT TO GO FIND
THE REAL SCOUTMASTER
BEFORE ROGER DRIVES US CRAZY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
THAT'D BE FINE.
ALL RIGHT!
EXCELLENT!
THANKS, YOU GUYS.
GOOD LUCK.
THE TROOP IS
COUNTING ON US.
I HOPE WE
CAN FIND HIM.
OF COURSE WE CAN.
WE'LL USE BLUFF SCOU
WILDERNESS KNOWLEDGE.
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE HOW
MOSS GROWS
ON THE NORTH
SIDE OF TREES.
AND HOW TO KEEP
CEREAL CRUNCHY
EVEN IN MILK.
YEAH, WE'LL
SHOW EVERYBODY
WE'RE REAL
TRACKERS.
TRUE EXPLORERS,
REAL WILDERNESS MEN.
DOUG FUNNIE, MOUNTAIN MAN
IF HE CAN'T CATCH IT,
NOBODY CAN ♪
WRESTLES MOOSE
WITH HIS BARE HANDS ♪
DOUG FUNNIE, MOUNTAIN MAN.
DEEP TRACKS
WITH TWO TOES.
THE BLUFF SCOU
MANUAL SAYS
THOSE ARE
MOOSE TRACKS.
A FLAT ROUND SPACE
IN THOSE GRASSES
OVER THERE.
LET'S SEE
DEEP-SET FOOTPRINTS
SPACED A YARD APART.
THOSE ARE DINK TRACKS.
I DON'T SEE THA
IN THE BLUFF SCOUT MANUAL.
HOW CAN YOU TELL, DOUG?
JUST READ THE
SIGNS, SKEETER.
WE'VE RUN OU
OF FOOTPRINTS.
WE'LL NEVER FIND
SCOUTMASTER DINK.
WAIT, SKEET.
IT SAYS, "WHEN NO ANIMAL
FOOTPRINTS ARE VISIBLE
HUNTING DOGS CAN OFTEN
TRACK THE ANIMAL'S SCENT."
IF WE HAD
SOMETHING
THAT SMELLED LIKE
SCOUTMASTER DINK
PORKCHOP COULD
FOLLOW HIS SCENT.
YEAH, BUT WHAT HAVE WE GOT?
[ barks]
[ yipping]
NOT NOW, PORKCHOP, I'M THINKING.
[ growls]
HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG I--?
OH, I GET IT.
[ barks]
COME ON, DOUG.
HE'S ON THE SCENT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
PORKCHOP?
SCOUTMASTER DINK?
IT'S ME, DOUG.
ARE YOU IN THERE?
Skeeter:
IT'S MR. DINK'S
OFFICIAL BLUFF SCOUT PANTS.
SCOUTMASTER DINK?
[ loud roar]
[ both scream]
POOR
SCOUTMASTER
DINK.
A BEAR MUS
HAVE GOT HIM.
HE WAS MY BES
GROWN-UP FRIEND.
HE WAS THE BES
SCOUTMASTER
I EVER HAD.
AND NOW HE'S BEEN
EATEN BY A BEAR.
[ sobs]
MR. DINK, I'M SORRY
I BROKE YOUR COMPUTER
AND MADE YOU LEAVE CAMP.
I'M GOING TO MISS THAT GUY.
I JUST HOPE,
IF YOU'RE UP THERE
YOU CAN HEAR US NOW.
Mr. Dink:
I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE.
HUH?
HUH?
Both:
MR. DINK?!
HELLO, BOYS.
THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL,
I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT.
Skeeter:
MR. DINK
YOU'RE NOT EATEN UP.
WHAT HAPPENED?
WE THOUGHT WE'D
NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.
WELL, WITHOUT THE COMPUTER,
I GOT A BIT OFF COURSE.
I GOT THE BOAT TO SHORE
BUT HAD TO LAY MY
WET CLOTHES OUT TO DRY.
WHEN I CAME BACK, I SAW
A BEAR AND RAN FOR MY LIFE
AND HERE I AM.
GEE, MR. DINK
I'M GLAD WE CAME
LOOKING FOR YOU.
EVEN IF ROGER SAID
HE WOULD DEMOTE US
TO TENDER TOES.
WHY WOULD ROGER DO THAT?
COME ON, BOYS,
LET'S HAVE IT.
OKAY, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.
[ angry voices shouting]
GET BACK TO YOUR TENTS.
I'M IN CHARGE HERE.
MR. DINK SAID SO.
LET'S DEMOTE ROGER
TO TENDER TOE.
[ all cheering]
YOU CAN'T DEMOTE ME.
I'M THE BIG GUY.
I ANSWER ONLY TO
TEN-HUT!
AT EASE.
WHAT'S THIS HUBBUB?
MR. DINK
GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK.
WE WERE WORRIED SICK.
GLAD YOU'VE HELD DOWN THE FORT.
ANY TROUBLE?
NOTHING SERIOUS.
WE DID RUN OUT OF FOOD
BUT I HELD THE TROOP TOGETHER.
HELD US
TOGETHER?
YOU WERE THE ONE
WHO ATE ALL THE FOOD.
WELL, ROGER, SINCE
YOU'VE HAD DINNER
I'LL ORDER
SOME FOR THE
REST OF US.
HELLO, SPEEDY PIZZA?
YES, I'D LIKE TO PUT IN AN ORDER
FOR 17 PIZZAS, PLEASE--
EXTRA CHEESE, MUSHROOM,
PEPPERONI, SAUSAGE AND BEETS.
MAKE IT HEAVY ON THE BEETS.
HOW LONG WILL THAT BE?
WELL, CAN YOU MAKE I
FASTER THAN THAT?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
ADD ANOTHER WITH EXTRA,
EXTRA, EXTRA CHEESE FOR ME.
I LOVE THE STUFF.
SO MR. DINK GOT BACK
SAFE AND SOUND
AND THE BLUFF SCOUT CANOE TRIP
TURNED OUT GREA
AND SCOUTMASTER DINK GAVE US
A SPECIAL MOUNTAIN MAN AWARD.
AND ROGER LEARNED
A VALUABLE LESSON.
AS THE BLUFF SCOU
MANUAL SAYS:
THE SENIOR BLUFF SCOU
SHOULD DO HIS BES
TO SERVE THE TROOP.
ROGER, COULD YOU
PLEASE SERVEME
SOME PEPPERONI PIZZA?
ROGER, ANOTHER SLICE
OF BEET PIZZA HERE.
ONE AT A TIME.
Boy:
MUSHROOM PIZZA OVER HERE.
Roger:
I ONLY GOT TWO HANDS.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
DOUG FUNNIE, MOUNTAIN MAN
IF HE CAN'T CATCH IT,
NOBODY CAN. ♪
DOUG FUNNIE,
HE'S A MOUNTAIN OF A MAN.
Kids:
BRING ON THE BEETS!
BRING ON THE BEETS!
Doug:
DEAR JOURNAL, CALL ME CRAZY
BUT EVER SINCE ELECTED TO
STUDENT ACTIVITY CHAIRPERSON
I WAS DETERMINED TO FIGURE OU
HOW TO GET THE BEETS
TO PLAY AT OUR SCHOOL.
[ rock music playing]
BRING ON THE BEETS!
BRING ON THE BEETS!
BRING ON THE BEETS!
HEY, MAN
I LOVE YOUR GIANT-
LETTER-TO-THE-
BEETS IDEA.
BUT DO YOU REALLY
THINK IT WILL WORK?
OF COURSE IT WILL, SKEET.
WHEN THEY SEE HOW MANY
LOYAL FANS THEY HAVE HERE
THEY'RE BOUND TO COME.
Kids:
BRING ON THE BEETS!
[ footsteps]
[ hinge creaks]
[ barks]
THAT'S ME.
HEY!
[ barks]
[ yelps]
Doug:
IT HAD BEEN DAYS SINCE WE
SENT OUR LETTER TO THE BEETS.
I'D JUST ABOUT
GIVEN UP HOPE WHEN
AS YOU WERE, PEOPLE.
I'VE GOT A FAX HERE
ADDRESSED TO THE STUDEN
ACTIVITIES CHAIRPERSON.
THAT'S YOU, DOUG.
All:
WHAT'S IT SAY?
THEY'LL DO IT.
THE BEETS WILL PLAY
A CONCERT AT OUR SCHOOL.
AH-EE-OO
KILLER TOFU!
EE-A-EE
OO-EE-OO
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
QUIET DOWN!
I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE
BUT THERE WON'T BE
ANY BEET CONCERT IN MY SCHOOL.
HUH?
THE BEETS DO NOT PLAY
THE KIND OF MUSIC
APPROPRIATE FOR
A SCHOOL CONCERT.
[ all whine]
PERHAPS IF YOU'D CHOSEN
A MORE WHOLESOME MUSICAL GROUP
LIKE, SAY, OH,
THE BLUFFINGTON YODELERS
THAT WOULD BE
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORY.
THAT'S YOUR GROUP, ISN'T IT?
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
I MEAN IT, MISTER,
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
IT'S NOT FAIR
AFTER ALL THE
WORK WE DID
GETTING THE
BEETS TO COME.
IT'S LIKE HE'S
PROGRAMMED TO SAY NO.
YEAH, LIKE A ROBOT.
"THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED."
"THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED."
[ all imitating Mr. Bone]
HMM, I WONDER HOW QUAILMAN
WOULD DEAL WITH MR. BONE.
THE ADVENTURES OF QUAILMAN
THE SUPERHERO
WHO ALWAYS WEARS
CLEAN UNDERWEAR OVER HIS PANTS
AND HIS GRATEFUL COMPANION,
QUAILDOG.
Mayor White:
IT IS WITH GREAT PLEASURE THA
I DEDICATE THE NEW GYMNASIUM
TO OUR SUPERHERO WITH
THE MIGHTY SLAM DUNK-- QUAILMAN!
WELL, GOSH, FOLKS.
WELL, IT ALL BEGAN WHEN I WAS
BUT A TINY QUAIL BABY HUH?
SPACESHIP!
[ horrified murmuring]
ATTENTION!
I AM ROBOBONE.
WE ARE ASSISTANT PRINCIPALS
FROM PLANET NUMBULUS.
FORM A SINGLE LINE
AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
WE HAVE COME TO EARTH
TO DO WHAT WE DO BEST.
WHAT'S THAT?
BOSS PEOPLE AROUND.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
THE SUBJECT IS CLOSED.
ROBOCLONES,
LET'S ROAM THE HALLS.
THIS SCHOOL IS OFFICIALLY
UNDER MY COMMAND.
HUH?
Robobone:
SINGLE FILE.
COME, QUAILDOG.
WE'D BETTER KEEP
THESE ROBOCLONES
UNDER CLOSE SURVEILLANCE.
Patti:
I SAID, "YOU BETTER MAKE
A HARD COPY BEFORE YOU REBOOT."
THEN SHE SAID
Robobone:
HOLD IT!
DO YOU HAVE HALL PASSES?
HUH?
UM, NO.
HYPER-DETENTIONS FOR YOU.
AND LET'S SEE
IF YOUR LOCKERS
PASS INSPECTION.
LOCKER STATUS:
LOTS OF JELLY DONUTS
MOLDY BANANA
SMELLY GYM SOCK.
ANALYSIS: NOT CLEAN.
LIFE IN DETENTION
FOR BOTH OF YOU.
LIFE IN DETENTION?
WOW! THEY'RE STRICT.
HUH?
Robobone:
THOSE FUNNY PANTS DO NO
CONFORM WITH THE DRESS CODE.
THAT'S INSTAN
DETENTION HALL
FOR YOU AND
YOUR FAMILY.
HELP ME, QUAILMAN.
HELP!
HELP! GET ME OUT OF HERE.
SAVE US,
QUAILMAN.
THIS IS WORSE
THAN I THOUGHT.
COME, QUAILDOG.
IT'S THINKING TIME.
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO DEFEAT ROBOBONE
AND HIS ARMY OF ROBOCLONES?
WE NEED A SECRET WEAPON.
[ coughs]
COUGH.
COUGH.
QUAILDOG, YOU'RE A GENIUS.
A LITTLE CLOSER, QUAILDOG.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER.
YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE
FOR FLYING TOO LOW
OVER SCHOOL PROPERTY.
WE'LL SEE YOU
IN DETENTION
FOREVER!
YOUR POWER-TRIPPING DAYS
ARE NUMBERED, ROBOBONE.
IT'S TIME TO UNLEASH
OUR SECRET WEAPON.
KIDS, GET YOUR
PARENTS' PERMISSION
BEFORE ATTEMPTING THIS AT HOME.
EAT MY DUST,
ROBOBONE.
[ coughing]
IT'S WORKING,
THE DUST IS CLOGGING
THEIR INTERNAL
COMPUTER CHIPS.
HA!
WE CANNOT BE FOILED SO EASILY,
MR. SMARTY-PANTS.
HOW ABOUT A TASTE
OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE, QUAILMAN?
[ coughing]
HA! HA! HA!
DON'T YOU SEE?
YOUR PUNY QUAIL POWERS
ARE USELESS AGAINST US.
I'M NOT THROUGH YET, ROBOBONE.
I'M NO QUITTER.
All:
HELP US!
SAVE US!
Kids:
HELP!
HUH?
THOSE CRIES FOR HELP.
COME ON, QUAILDOG.
HELP!
GET US OUT!
YELL ALL YOU WANT.
OUR INVISIBLE FORCE FIELD WILL
KEEP YOU IN DETENTION FOREVER.
YIKES, QUAILDOG.
QUAILMAN, SAVE US!
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
HOW TO SAY THIS, PATTI
BUT MY QUAIL POWERS
SEEM TO BE NO MATCH
FOR THESE
NO-GOODS.
SAY IT AIN'T SO.
YOU AGAIN?
HAVEN'T YOU HAD
ENOUGH, QUAILMAN?
IF WE TALK THINGS OVER,
WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT.
AS MY QUAIL MOM
USED TO SAY
THERE'S NOTHING THA
CAN'T BE SOLVED
I WARNED YOU.
ALL RIGHT, ROBOCLONES,
SWITCH TO ROBO-YODEL.
[ ear-splitting yodeling]
NO, STOP, I CAN'T TAKE IT.
[ yodeling]
COULDN'T YOU AT LEAS
YODEL IN THE SAME KEY?
THE SAME KEY?
WHY?
IS THIS SOME
KIND OF TRICK?
NO, JUST A SIMPLE
SUPERHERO'S SUGGESTION.
[ harmonious yodeling]
GREAT SOUND!
COOL-IE!
YOU KNOW, ROBOBONE,
YOU SOUND SWELL.
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
A CAREER IN SHOW BUSINESS?
HMM, SHOW BUSINESS?
AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS
ROBOBONE AND THE BONETTES
SOON BECAME A MUSICAL SENSATION
WINNING NEW FANS
WHEREVER THEIR OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD
WORLD TOUR TOOK THEM.
[ harmonious yodeling]
BACK HOME, STUDENTS
WALKED THE HALLS SAFELY
THANKS TO THE TIRELESS
EFFORTS OF
QUAILMAN AND QUAILDOG.
QUAILMAN BARGAINED
WITH ROBOBONE.
THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY
I CAN BARGAIN WITH MR. BONE.
COME ON, GUYS, FOLLOW ME.
Mr. Bone:
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
IF I LET THE BEETS
PLAY THEIR CONCERT HERE
THE STUDENTS
AGREE TO HAVE
THE BLUFFINGTON YODELERS
PERFORM FIRST?
RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
MR. STUDEN
CHAIRPERSON
YOU'VE GO
YOURSELF A DEAL.
DOUG, YOU DID IT!
[ yodeling]
Doug:
IT WAS WORTH PUTTING UP
WITH THE YODELING GROUP
SO LONG AS WE GOT
TO HEAR THE BEETS.
THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT,
BLUFFINGTON.
SAY, THOSE YODELING
DUDES GIVE ME AN IDEA.
AND NOW, THE REAL REASON
YOU'RE PROBABLY ALL HERE--
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BEETS!
[ cheering]
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
WHY? BECAUSE I DO.
I'M GLAD WE WORKED A COMPROMISE
OUT WITH MR. BONE.
IT'S ALL ABOUT LISTENING TO EACH
OTHER AND WORKING THINGS OU
NOT THROWING YOUR WEIGHT AROUND.
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO! I'M TALKING TO YOU.
I NEED TO BUY SOME CDs,
I NEED TO BUY SOME GUM ♪
I MOW THE GRASS,
I CLEAN THE HOUSE ♪
I THINK I DESERVE SOME.
SOME MORE ALLOWANCE!
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
WHY? BECAUSE I DO.
[ loud guitar chord]
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO! I'M TALKING TO YOU.
I NEED TO BUY SOME CDs,
I NEED TO BUY SOME GUM ♪
I MOW THE GRASS,
I CLEAN THE HOUSE ♪
I THINK I DESERVE SOME.
SOME MORE ALLOWANCE!
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
WHY? BECAUSE I DO.
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO!♪
YO-DE-LAY-EE-HOO♪
I NEED MORE ALLOWANCE.