Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s02e10 Episode Script

1
BRRRR YEAH!
[DRUMROLL]
LADIES AND GERMS!
THE MOMENT YOU'VE
BEEN WAITING FOR,
CIRCUS EDS IS PROUD TO PRESENT:
ALL THE WAY FROM
RENO, THE ONE, THE ONLY,
THE FLYING EDUARDO BROTHERS!
[YAWN] [CLAPPING]
[CHOMP!]
YOU GOT THEM IN THE
PALM OF YOUR HAND, EDDY!
FOLLOW MY LEAD, BOYS!
HUP, HUP! HUP!
[GRUNTING]
HO, HO!
ZIPPIDY DOO DA!
[BAM!]
UMM KNIT ONE, PURL TWO?
[CREAKING]
WHY IS DOUBLE EDD BOY
CALLING THE CHESTNUT ELVES?
THIS STUFF STINKS!
Kevin: SNORESVILLE!
OK, UM WATCH
THIS, LITTLE SISTER!
I SAW THIS ON TV.
Crowd: WOW!
[CHEERING]
MY, HOW ATHLETIC.
Ed: HI-TEE-HO!
Eddy: THATABOY, ED!
THE DORK IS TOAST!
HUP, HUP!
NO, NO!
UP, UP!
NICE FORM, HUH, PLANK?
[LAUGHING]
JEEPERS!
[STILL LAUGHING]
HE'S DROPPING LIKE A ROCK!
OB-LA-DI, OB-LA-DA
TWINGE, HURT, BRUISE, STING.
LOOP-THE-LOOP ED BOYS
HAVE BOILED AN EGG, YES?
LAID, ROLF, LAID AN EGG.
[LAUGHING]
GIVE IT UP FOR
WICKED TOSS, ROLF.
HE BROKE THE
TEETER-TOTTER, SARAH.
HEY, WAIT!
WE STILL GOTTA SHOO
ED OUT OF A CANNON!
GUYS!
FORTUNATE FOR US THEY
DIDN'T ASK FOR A REFUND, EDDY.
LIKE THEY'D GET IT.
[CRACK]
WE'LL NEED IT IN ORDER
TO PAY A REPAIRMAN
TO FIX THIS TEETER-TOTTER.
DOUBLE D! YOU'RE A GENIUS!
EVERYTHING BREAKS
SOONER OR LATER.
AND WE CAN FIX IT!
FOR A TOKEN FEE, OF COURSE.
Ed: GUYS!
I'M TIRED, EDDY,
COULDN'T WE JUST NO!
EDDY, DOUBLE D!
STOP FOOLING AROUND
AND FALL DOWN, GUYS!
HERE ARE MY FAVORITE COOKIES,
THEY'RE PERFECTLY BAKED,
AND READY FOR DUNKING.
WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S STUCK!
MY COOKIES!
S.O.S.! MAYDAY!
MAN THE LIFEBOATS!
NO JOKE, WHEN IT'S
BROKE. DON'T BE BLUE,
LET EDS' QUICK REPAIR SERVICE
FIX IT, AND YOU WON'T SUE!
YOU SHOULD HAVE HIRED SOMEONE
TO FIX THAT RHYME, EDDY. YEESH.
I SMELL COOKIES! YUM, YUM, YUM!
GO AWAY! I'll FIX IT MYSELF!
SEEMS LIKE WE HAVE A
DO-IT-YOURSELFER HERE.
FINE. SEE YOU.
BUT, EDDY, THE OVEN!
Eddy: TIME'S MONEY, DOUBLE D.
JIMMY WILL FIX IT HIMSELF.
[WHIMPER]
EDDY, WAIT, MY COOKIES,
THEY'RE BURNING!
FOR A NOMINAL FEE
ANYTHING, JUST NAME
IT! FIX MY OVEN, EDDY!
YOU HAVE TO WAIT DOWNSTAIRS.
INSURANCE STUFF, YOU KNOW.
HMMM.
YUP, IT'S BROKEN, ALL RIGHT.
VERY GOOD, EDDY.
NOW THAT YOU'VE UNRAVELLED
THE RIDDLE, HOW DO YOU PLAN TO
[CLANG]
Edd: EDDY, NO!
ED, STOP!
[CLANGING]
[CRASHING]
LABORERS SCARE ME.
HOLD IT!
CAN I INTERJECT?
CALL ME CRAZY,
BUT IF WE STAR
BY TURNING OFF
LET ME, DOUBLE D!
IT IS OFF. GOOD, HUH?
IS IT ME? IT'S HIM, RIGHT?
BOY, THOSE COOKIES
ARE GETTING CRISPY.
WAIT! MY BRAIN IS WORKING!
Ed: YUP.
[SIZZLE]
NICE ONE, ED.
MY COOKIES!
MY CEILING!
Ed: TALLYHO!
MY OVEN!
ED, QUIT IT, WILL YOU!
WE NEED TO FIX
THINGS, NOT BREAK THEM!
FIX IT. GOT IT.
Jonny: OW! AH! HELP!
I DID IT AGAIN, HUH, PLANK?
CLIMBING TREES AGAIN, JONNY BOY?
GIVE ME A HAND, GUYS, I'M STUCK!
IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY, JONNY.
FOR A NOMINAL FEE, WE CAN
REPAIR THAT HEAD OF YOURS.
REPAIR?
I NEED RESCUING!
REPAIR, RESCUE,
SAME PRICE, JONNY.
FIX HIM, ED.
READ THEM AND WEEP!
OH, MY! WAIT!
IT'S TOO TIGHT, ED!
OH, LOOK, A TIP.
WHY, THANK YOU.
[SLAM]
EDDY, WITH PROPER LUBRICATION,
JONNY'S HEAD WOULD
SIMPLY SLIP OUT.
I'VE GOT SOME DISH
SOAP IN THE KITCHEN.
GLAD I THOUGHT OF IT!
WE'LL SOAP UP HIS MELON
AND COLLECT OUR FEE.
Jonny: NOT SO FAST!
PLANK'S GOING, TOO.
KEEP YOUR EYES ON THEM, BUDDY.
HA HA HA!
HOW ANYONE COULD FIND DETERGEN
IN THIS MESS IS BEYOND ME.
THERE YOU ARE!
WEIRD BOTTLE, HUH?
WHAT! AGAIN! ED, YOU'RE A
Jonny: IS EVERYTHING
OK IN THERE, PLANK?
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
ED FOUND A LEAK IN
YOUR PIPE, YOUR FAUCET.
FOR AN EXTRA QUARTER,
WE CAN TWEAK IT.
WELL, I GUESS SO.
WHAT'S THAT, PLANK?
Jonny: THEY DID WHAT?
WHERE?!
GET ME DOWN FROM
HERE! HELP! SOMEONE!
I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.
WE DON'T HAVE THE
PROPER TOOLS TO FIX THIS.
IT'S UNDER CONTROL. RELAX.
WE'VE GOT THE ULTIMATE TOOL.
[CLANG]
[CHATTERING]
WE WERE BORN TO
DO THIS, DOUBLE D!
THIS IS A NATURAL TALENT?
IT'S NOT FIXED! LOOK AT IT!
[VROOM]
CAN I BUILD A BIRDHOUSE
WITH THIS STUFF?
ED, WHERE DID YOU EVISCERATE
THAT HEAT RADIATOR FROM?
THERE. Edd: OH, DEAR.
QUICK, DO SOMETHING,
SHUT IT OFF!
BOY, IT'S HOT IN HERE.
ARE YOU HOT, EDDY?
SWEAT IS TRICKLING DOWN MY NECK.
I'M MELTING.
IT'S BECOMING A SAUNA IN HERE.
Eddy: A SAUNA!
THAT'S IT! A SPA!
WHY FIX THINGS WHEN
WE CAN FIX PEOPLE?
SAUNA, SWEAT, AND MAKEOVERS.
CASHOLA IN THE BANKOLA.
Sarah: "SHEZ LA SWEET?"
WHAT'S THAT?
IT'S CHEZ LA SWEAT, SARAH.
SWEAT'S GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN.
COME ON, LET'S
CLEANSE OUR PORES.
SWEAT STINKS!
HELLO? WHO'S THERE?
AAAH!
GREAT! WELCOME TO CHEZ LA SWEAT!
EDDY!
COME ON, VOUS AU GRATIN!
LOOK, SEE! LA FACIAL,
AND THE GRAND
PIECE OF RESISTANCE,
LE SAUNA.
MY DREAM COME TRUE.
COUGH UP LA 50 CENTS, OUI, OUI.
YES, YES.
Sarah: NOT SO FAST!
YOU GUYS WRECKED JIMMY'S ROOM
AND WE'RE NO
PAYING ONE RED CENT!
GOT IT, MISTER?
VERY GOOD.
VOULEZ VOUS LA
TOWEL OVER YONDER.
LOVELY, THANK YOU.
FRESHLY LAUNDERED
TOWELS, ONLY 25 CENTS,
UM, EACH?
Sarah: THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
Jimmy: FANCY.
COME AGAIN!
ANY DAMAGE? WHA
DID YOU BREAK, ED?
I BEEN A GOOD TOWEL RACK, EDDY.
I KNOW YOU HAVE, LUMPY.
LET'S JUST MAKE
SURE YOU STAY GOOD.
OK, THEN, YOU'VE ORDERED
OUR STATELY PACKAGE.
THE OPULENT HAIR
TREATMENT FOR JIMMY,
AND THE EXFOLIATING
FACIAL FOR SARAH.
Sarah: WHAT'S THAT STUFF?
A SECRET BLEND OF ORGANIC
MINERALS TO HELP THAT HAGGARD SKIN.
SEEMS EFFICIENT.
HEY, MY SKIN FEELS
TINGLY TINGLE.
I TOLD YOU, SARAH.
AAAH! BE GENTLE.
ONE BAGUETTE, HOLD THE MAYO!
IT'S SO BRAVE. I LOVE IT!
NEXT, LE SAUNA!
DOUBLE D?
MIND YOUR HEADS, PLEASE.
LE SAUNA CLEANS
AND PURIFIES THE SKIN.
YOU HAVE COMPANY.
CLOSE THE CURTAIN
AS IT IS COLDER THAN
MY NANNA'S WOODEN LEG!
UM, SORRY, ROLF.
ROOM FOR TWO?
JIMMY?
RELAX AND ENJOY.
THIS HOT STEAM MAKES ROLF'S
FLESH SHED TEARS OF IMPURITY.
AAAH.
YUCK!
MY PORES ARE SCREAMING.
OOOH, AAAH. FRESH!
HA, HA!
Jimmy: HOW EMBARRASSING!
Nazz: ROLF, YOU'RE SO GROSS!
Jimmy: RUN AWAY!
Kevin: YOU'RE ON YOUR
OWN, DUDE! HA HA HA!
CAN SOMEBODY TELL
ME WHAT'S GOING ON?
Rolf: I MUST PROTEST THE
RUDENESS OF YOUR GUESTS!
Edd: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
MAKE YOURSELF DECENT, ROLF!
YOU'RE SCARING THE
CUSTOMERS AWAY, ROLF!
PUT YOUR TOWEL ON! [CRASH]
TOWEL RACK, AT YOUR SERVICE.
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID!
I CAN'T BEAR TO
LOOK, HAS ROLF
IS THAT THE SUPPOR
BEAM TO THE HOUSE?!
Ed: WHAT'S A SUPPORT BEAM?
THIS HAS BEEN QUITE A DAY.
[CRASHING AND SCREAMING]
OH, MAN.
Kevin: YOU GUYS ARE
IN SO MUCH TROUBLE.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I LOST MY MONEY.
HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK
OF MONEY AT A TIME LIKE
OH! FOUND IT! HEH HEH HEH!
DID YOU MISS ME?
JONNY'S GONNA [CRASH]
HOMEWRECKERS!
LOOK HOW UNHAPPY PLANK IS!
RUBBER BABY BUGGY BUMPERS.
HE'S REACHING FOR JIMMY!
Eddy: RELAX, JONNY. WE'RE
REPAIRMEN. WE'LL FIX IT.
Jonny: I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.
Jimmy: TOUCHE!
WHOA!
RUN!
I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.
Ed: WE ARE SURROUNDED.
Edd: LET'S JUST DO
THE RIGHT THING, EDDY,
AND WORK FOR THE REST OF OUR
LIVES TO BUY JONNY A NEW HOME.
YEAH, RIGHT.
THEY'LL NEVER CATCH
THE FLYING EDUARDO BROTHERS!
YOU'RE STILL WEARING THAT THING?
HUP, HUP!
HO, HO! HO!
NOT AGAIN!
THOSE GOOD-FOR-NOTHINGS
ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING!
Edd: CAREFUL, ED.
HUP, HUP!
OH, HOLD ON! HA HA HA!
UP, UP! AND FAR, FAR!
[CRASH]
[BOOM]
HEY, THE ED-WEIRDO
BROTHERS AIN'T TOO BAD.
Eddy: THANK YOU! THANK YOU
VERY MUCH! YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
[CREAK]
AWESOME!
[HONK HONK]
JUST WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR.
[CREAK]
HUH? WHO'S THERE?
[THUMP]
THIS PLACE GIVES ME THE CREEPS.
AAAH!
[CRASH]
Jonny: WHAT ARE
YOU DOING, KEVIN?
DID YOU LOSE SOMETHING?
MAYBE HE LOST SOMETHING, PLANK.
WHAT'S THAT, PLANK?
PLANK SAYS YOU
SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL
NOT TO LOSE THINGS.
YOU'RE BUGGING ME, MAN!
TAKE A HIKE!
DID YOU LOSE THIS, KEVIN?
HEY, KEVIN, PLANK
FOUND A BEDSPRING!
HI, KEVIN! DO YOU
LIKE THAT SHOE?
GRRR!
KEVIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
CHILL AND HANG
WITH ME, OVER THERE!
REALLY?
LET'S HANG, PLANK!
WHATEVER THAT MEANS.
HA HA HA!
WHAT A LEECH.
YOO-HOO, KEVIN!
WE FOUND A BIKE!
WE FOUND A BIKE!
THAT'S MY BIKE!
GET BACK HERE!
RELISH THE FINE
SUMMER'S DAY, EDDY.
ABSORB THE SOLITUDE
OF THE CUL-DE-SAC,
THE AROMA OF FRESH-CUT GRASS.
IT STINKS. I'M BORED.
I FORGOT TO WEAR
UNDERWEAR, GUYS.
Jonny: WHOO-HOO! [CRUNCH]
HI, JONNY!
[PANTING] COME BACK
HERE WITH MY BIKE!
HI, KEVIN!
THAT KID'S REALLY BUGGING ME.
CHECK IT OUT!
KEVIN'S TALKING TO HIMSELF!
SEEMS AS THOUGH
KEVIN'S AT WIT'S END.
MAN, I'D GIVE ANYTHING
TO GET RID OF THAT TWERP.
OH, DEAR. ED?
EDDY'S GOT THA
INSIDIOUS LOOK AGAIN.
EDDY SHOULD EAT MORE VEGETABLES.
QUIT FOOLING AROUND, JONNY!
MESS UP MY PAIN
JOB, AND I'll POUND YOU!
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
I HEAR YOU'D GIVE ANYTHING
TO GET RID OF JONNY.
GET A LIFE, DORK.
Jonny: STOP TICKLING ME, PLANK.
[CRASH]
[JONNY LAUGHING]
SO, YOU TELLING ME
YOU CAN GET RID OF HIM?
GOING RATE'S A QUARTER.
I'll GIVE YOU A NICKEL.
A QUARTER!
A NICKEL!
GET OVER YOURSELF.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL, CHEAPSKATE?
Jonny: HEY, KEVIN.
I'M THE BIKE PIXIE.
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN! HA HA HA!
GO ON.
FINE!
HEE HEE HEE!
BUT IF THAT KID COMES
WITHIN 10 FEET OF ME,
KKKHHT!
THERE'S GOTTA BE
LIKE 30 CENTS HERE!
Jonny: I'M A PIXIE! LET'S
DANCE IN THE WOODS, PLANK.
I CAN SEE HOW JONNY'S
INNOCENT GAME-PLAYING
COULD WEAR ON SOMEONE'S NERVES.
FLUTTER AROUND THE
MUSHROOMS, THAT'S WHAT PIXIES DO!
WATCH THIS, ED!
[MUMBLING]
I'M A TWO-HEADED MONSTER! OOOH!
ATTACK THE MUSHROOM!
BOY, ARE YOU A PAIN
IN THE NECK, JONNY!
LET'S TURN JONNY INTO
THE BIGGEST PEST ON EARTH!
KIDS WILL THROW MONEY
AT US JUST TO GET RID OF HIM!
COME ON, ED! LET'S
CREATE A MONSTER!
HE'S LIKE A BAD ITCH, EDDY!
AAAH! GET HIM OFF!
HE'S ANNOYING MY HEAD!
[ED LAUGHING]
READY?
Edd: AS I'll EVER BE, EDDY.
REPULSIVE.
[GIGGLES]
A SUIT?
ANNOYING?
I SPENT TWO HOURS
COUNTER-BALANCING CHAINS,
AND ALL YOU CAN
COME UP WITH IS A SUIT?
WHAT'S WITH YOU?
IT WAS THE MOST ANNOYING
THING I COULD THINK OF.
MY FATHER WEARS A SUIT.
EXACTLY.
WELL, I SUGGEST SOMETHING
A LITTLE MORE ON-TOPIC.
ANCHOVIES.
THE PERSON WHO INVENTED
THIS SMELLY, SALTY FISH DISH
SHOULD HAVE BEEN IMPRISONED
FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.
OPEN WIDE, PLEASE.
I SMELL SOMETHING FISHY.
PLEASE, JONNY.
HA HA HA!
OOOH.
PLEASE, JONNY!
PLANK SAYS FISH
IS [SCRUBBING]
[SQUIRT]
[SMOOSH]
I GLUED A BLOCK OF
WOOD TO JONNY'S FOOT.
ED, WHY DID YOU GLUE A
WOODEN BLOCK TO JONNY'S FOOT?
WHY THESE CHAINS?
AND WHY THE SUIT?
WHY JONNY?
JONNY, PEOPLE REALLY
LIKE IT WHEN YOU SAY
"WHY?" ALL THE TIME!
HMMM.
THEY DO?
WHY? WHY?
AND PEOPLE REALLY LIKE I
WHEN YOU POKE THEM ON THE HEAD!
ED!
SEE? EDDY LIKES IT.
Jonny: HA HA HA! [BURP] YEE-HAW!
JONNY, THAT'S GOLD.
Eddy: DO IT AGAIN.
YEE-HAW! [BURP]
LOW TIDE.
Jonny: YEE-HAW! [BURP]
OH, MAN, WE'RE GONNA BE RICH!
COME ON, JONNY,
LET'S GET CRACKING!
NO PROBLEM, EDDY.
[CRACK]
WHAT A PEST!
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
MAKE HIM STOP!
I'M SORRY, DID I SAY RICH?
I MEANT SUPER-RICH!
LET'S PESTER!
DO YOU THINK SWALLOWS
WILL VISIT OUR BIRDHOUSE?
SARAH?
WE'D BE LUCKY IF A
SQUIRREL USED IT, JIMMY.
[RAPPING]
JIMMY! IT'S A WOODPECKER,
DO YOU HEAR IT?
HUH?
OH, JONNY, WHAT DID I DO?
ARE YOU WATCHING BIRDS, JIMMY?
[SNIFF, SNIFF]
FISHY BREATH.
YOU'RE ASKING FOR TROUBLE, BUB!
POKE, POKE, POKE.
WHERE DID HE GO? FATHEAD!
Jonny: YEE-HAW! [BURP]
Jimmy: JUMPING JEHOSOPHAT!
YEE-HAW! [BURP]
SARAH, HE'S GONNA
SCARE THE SWALLOWS.
JONNY, GET OUT OF THERE!
WHY?
'CAUSE I SAID SO.
WHY?
'CAUSE YOU'RE BUGGING US.
WHY?
'CAUSE YOU'RE STUPID!
WHY?
WHY DOESN'T HE JUST GO AWAY?
Eddy: FOR A LOUSY QUARTER,
LET US GET THA
JONNY OFF YOUR BACK!
GET LOST, EDDY!
BUT, SARAH, THINK
OF THE SWALLOWS.
OH, BROTHER.
SWALLOWS ARE BEAUTIFUL.
ED, FETCH.
[SNAP]
[LAUGHING]
[GRUNTING]
Jonny: HA HA HA! OH, BOY!
I'M HAVING SO MUCH
FUN, I CAN'T STAND IT!
[CRASH]
JONNY HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.
ARE WE THROUGH YET?
JUST STAND THERE
AND LOOK PRETTY.
NEXT!
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS, EDDY.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
DOUBLE D, PROVOKE OUR CREATION.
BOY, EDDY, "PROVOKE"?
THOSE TUTORING LESSONS
MUST BE PAYING OFF.
Jonny: YEE-HAW! [BURP]
POKE, POKE.
WHY?
YEE-HAW! [BURP]
Eddy: STAND BACK!
GO GET THEM, TIGER!
[CLUCKING]
ED?
I LOVE CHICKENS, DOUBLE D.
YES, WE KNOW, ED.
JONNY WOOD-BOY?
CAN I HAVE A BITE OF
YOUR SANDWICH, ROLF?
ANCHOVY PASTE.
A FINE YEAR.
HAIL TO THE ANCHOVY!
ROLF RESPECTS THE STENCH!
POKE, POKE, POKE.
OH, HO! ROLF IS HONORED
BY YOUR KNOWLEDGE
OF THE SHEPHERD'S
CUSTOMARY SALUTE.
DID YOU CATCH MY DRIFT?
YEE-HAW! [BURP]
YOU ARE FULL OF PICKLES
AND BEETS TODAY, YES, JONNY?
WHY?
I INVITE YOU AND YOUR PLANK
TO JOIN ME. COME.
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
ROLF FELL IN LOVE WITH THE GUY!
IT APPEARS ANNOYANCE DOESN'
CROSS CULTURAL BOUNDARIES.
THIS CALLS FOR DRASTIC MEASURES.
DRASTIC MEASURES?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I ASK YOU.
MM-MM.
ED?
ED!
GOODNESS, ED, GIVE
IT SOME AIR, MAN!
CLUCK.
Rolf: ARE YOU KEEPING
SCORE, JONNY?
THE SOWS HAVE YE
TO WIN AT THIS GAME.
AMATEURS, I TELL YOU!
I DON'T GET IT EITHER, PLANK.
[WHISPERING]
WHY?
DON'T MILK IT, JONNY.
Edd: WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, EDDY?
TAKE COVER!
[PIG SQUEALING]
HA HA HA!
TELL ME, JONNY, IS
ROLF A HOT SHOUT?
WATCH THIS, ROLF!
[CRUNCH]
[SQUEAL]
[SQUAWK]
HUH?
[CRUNCH]
[RUMBLE]
STAMPEDE!
ANY MINUTE NOW, AND ROLF
WILL BE BEGGING TO PAY US.
Rolf: RUN FOR YOUR
NO-GOOD LIVES!
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
HEY, ROLF, WE CAN GE
RID OF HIM FOR YOU
AAAH!
OH, DEAR.
AAAH!
HOLY COW! LOOK, PLANK!
JONNY! I'll GIVE YOU A
NICKEL IF YOU LET US OUT!
A QUARTER.
[CRUNCH]
[SCREAMING]
Eddy: A NICKEL!
Edd: EDDY, GIVE HIM THE QUARTER!
[CRUNCH]
TWO QUARTERS.
[SCREAMING]
Eddy: A NICKEL!
[CRUNCH]
THREE QUARTERS.
[SCREAMING]
Eddy: A NICKEL!
A DOLLAR. [CRUNCH]
[SCREAMING]
ED, EDD, AND EDDY!