Family Ties (1982) s02e10 Episode Script

I bet we've been together for a million years and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed and I can't remember what I ever did before what would we do, baby without us? what would we do, baby without us? and there ain't no nothin' we can't love each other through ooh-hoo what would we do, baby without us? sha-la-la-la Steven: I was in a deep, deep sleep, Elyse! You might have considered picking up the phone! Elyse: I was in the shower.
Hey.
Hey, what's going on? Shh.
Shh.
A fight? A fight, and you didn't call me? It just started, but it has real potential.
The phone rang seven times, Elyse! Elyse: I happen to be in the habit of drying myself after a shower! It only takes three rings to dry yourself! Break! Wouldn't care how many times do I have to Both: Hi, kids.
Beautiful Sunday, isn't it? I guess so.
Oh, it is.
It's a great day.
Don't you think so, Jennifer? Not really.
The phone woke me up this morning.
That was your mother's fault, sweetie.
You're right.
We should have installed a phone in the shower years ago.
It would make my life a lot easier.
Okay, Elyse.
Richard and Keith are here.
Do you think we could stop this silly fight? I know I could.
Oh oh, I see.
It's my fault.
Well, y-you're right.
Look, from now on, no matter where I am, I'll answer the phone.
If I'm at work and the phone's ringing, you go next door to the obecks', call me.
I'll race home to answer it.
Even if you're in a deep, deep sleep? Oh, and there's the bell to end the first round.
Coming.
Try to keep some sense of decorum, would you, Elyse? The man's been through a horrible divorce and custody battle.
His view of marriage is dim enough without our snuffing out what little light remains.
Alex: Whoa.
Hear, hear.
Bravo, dad.
What do we have for him, Keith? Yes, it's the duro-kite by schiff co.
! The duro-kite for a lifetime of kiting pleasure and more.
Elyse: Hi, guys.
And For the ladies.
It's daisies.
Thank you.
And the duro-kite by schiff co.
! Thank you, Richard.
I'm a little short of duro-kites.
A hug will have to do.
Oh, okay.
So, Keith, where has this dad of yours taken you today? Well, we started at the football hall of fame.
Then we went to the pony rides Uh, don't tell him any more, Keith.
It's just gonna make him look bad in front of his kids.
No, let's just say we pretty much toured the midwest.
Tomorrow, the wine country.
Mm-hmm.
Hey, Alex, you want to go fly the kite? Yeah, thanks anyway, Keith, but I think I'm a little old for kites.
Can I have the red one? Mallory? All right.
Whose team am I on? Oh, I tell you.
You know? What a beautiful sight to see.
Kids playing together.
Husband and wife living together under the same roof.
I used to have a wife.
I used to have a roof.
Come on, Richie, don't get bitter.
You haven't even been here five minutes.
I'm not bitter.
I-I'm not.
I'm philosophical about it, actually.
I have no regrets.
What was, was.
It's over.
I just have one question How'd you let me marry that witch? That's the idea.
Forgive and forget.
Know what it was? You two.
It was you two.
You made marriage look phenomenal.
Kissing and hugging all the time.
Smiling.
Happy.
Shame on you.
Come on, Richard.
You and Cynthia had some terrific times together.
You remember that summer in Maine? The four of us at bar harbor? Ah! Ah, that was great.
Tents on the beach, digging clams.
That was July of '68.
Alex turned three that summer.
I remember we let him hold the money.
Oh, I was in love that summer.
I was in love with everybody and everything.
I-I remember your infatuation with kelp.
Kelp and Cynthia.
I just made the wrong choice.
She's taking Keith and moving to San Diego.
What do you mean "moving"? Moving.
They put your stuff in a truck, they break your dishes Moving.
Oh, Richard, no.
I'm sorry.
W-when When is this happening? They're leaving next week.
This is my last Sunday with him.
You must be excited about moving to California, Keith.
Hollywood, Disneyland, the Grand Canyon.
Uh, Mallory, the Grand Canyon is not in California.
It's in Arizona.
He can still visit it, can't he, Alex? Yeah, he can visit Belgium, too.
What does that have to do with it? You'll like it in California, Keith.
You'll see.
I wish my dad were coming with me.
Of course, then my mom wouldn't come.
Aah! You broke another one? Jennifer, I am doing the best I can.
The directions are in Chinese.
Well, you've broken kites in three languages now.
Give it to me.
I think I could follow in Spanish.
Well, you getting those kites together? Yeah, and we're learning a lot of languages, too.
Yes, the duro-kite It's fun and educational.
Uh, I'll be honest with you, Mr.
Bailey.
You got to have a degree in engineering to put these things together.
Okay, it's ready.
Let's go.
Mallory: Come on, Keith.
Uh How did you do that? I just used my cabeza.
Who knows when I'll see him again.
This Sunday business is hard enough Now I'll see him, what, uh, once every six months? That's not a father.
That's a dentist.
Um R-Richard, I hate to Bug you.
Oh, my god.
I forgot where I was.
I'll I'm gonna put it out.
I'm gonna put it right out.
I'll just find a place, then I I just lost my mind, that's all.
I don't know, um Where, um Maybe.
Um, I don't D-did you at least discuss the move with Cynthia? Sure, like we discuss everything.
I said don't do it.
She said, "I'm doing it.
" I said I forbid it, and she threw me out.
It was one of our better talks.
What about going back to court? Try to share custody.
Don't say "court" to me, Steve.
I spent $20,000 and all last year in court.
The Ohio bar association voted me ex-husband of the year.
I didn't know that.
Well, you know me.
I don't like to brag.
Even if I wanted to go back to court, it just wouldn't work.
I mean, I haven't got a chance.
I mean, unless the mother appears in court naked and drooling, she's gonna get custody of the kids every time.
Well, you got to do something.
What? Tell me.
I'll do it.
I don't know what.
I don't know what I'd do.
You don't have to worry.
It's not gonna happen to you, Steve.
I mean, you've got a beautiful thing here.
When did Elyse ever do anything to make you mad? Well, um This morning.
The one morning I can sleep late.
I'm fast asleep, and the phone rings.
She let it ring Seven times.
I had to Get up and answer it myself.
She did that to you? You got to leave her.
Is something burning? Sorry, sorry.
I lit a cigarette.
A thousand pardons.
I lost my mind.
There.
I'm sorry.
Least you could do is apologize.
Uh, you should get Keith's things together.
Cynthia should be here any minute.
Stevie, the phone.
Elyse? I hear it.
What do you normally do in this situation? Hi, dad! Hey, how'd the kiting go? Does this answer your question? There's still one left.
It's stuck in Mrs.
obeck's chimney.
Oh, hi, Mrs.
Bailey.
Hi, Alex.
Elyse: Oh, hi.
Oh, there's my little boy.
Hi, everybody.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Do I smell smoke? I don't believe it.
Three hours ago, in another room.
The woman ought to have her nose bronzed.
Hello, Richard.
Hello.
Cynthia, sit and have some coffee.
I just made a fresh pot.
Oh, no, no.
Thanks.
No, no.
We've got to run.
Tomorrow's a school day, so, uh Get your things together, Keith.
Come on, mom.
Can't we stay a little longer? There's still one kite we haven't broken.
Please? Come on.
Please.
Well, maybe just a minute or two.
Yeah! Keith: Let's go.
Come on.
There.
Hmm.
So How you doin', Cynthia? Fine.
Good.
Good! Us too.
We're really fine.
I was gonna ask.
Now you don't have to.
Ah, we're fine fine as, uh fine as gold.
Good, good.
So You're fine, huh? Yes.
Yes, I am.
Why shouldn't she be fine?! She's got the house, the bank account, my parakeet! Do you remember Maine? The summers? July of '68! That was the best one.
Yeah.
I remember Maine.
I remember living in a tent full of kelp.
Is there something wrong with kelp? It stinks.
Kelp stinks.
How dare you! That's a stunning brooch, Cynthia.
Where where could a person find a brooch How can you do it? How can you take my only son I have got to get away, Richard.
I have got to get out of Ohio.
I need a fresh start, and so does Keith.
Keith is 9 years old.
do not need a fresh start.
They need a father! Oh, my god.
I forgot.
Go ahead.
Smoke.
Let's all smoke.
No.
I will not foul your home.
If you should need me, I'll be on your front lawn fouling your neighborhood.
He he's just agitated, Cynthia.
This Whole thing's been very disturbing to him.
I am sick and tired of hearing how hard this has been on Richard.
What about me? All I ever hear about is how "daddy took me to the pony rides" and "daddy took me to the movies" and and "daddy" this, and "daddy" that.
And what do I do? I'm the one who makes him do his homework and brush his teeth and eat asparagus.
I'm no fun at all, and Richard Richard is some kind of a Saint! Can the baileys stay for supper? No.
No.
No.
Well, this is really getting silly.
I've got to get home.
Richard, if you're done sulking, would you mind sending Keith in? I'll get him.
Goodbye, Cynthia.
Uh, Mr.
Bailey wanted me to give you this.
"Cynthia, I'm the one who needs a fresh start.
I'm taking Keith.
Goodbye.
Richard.
" Keith! What would you do if mommy and daddy ever got divorced? Don't worry.
They're not gonna get divorced.
They still act as if they're on their honeymoon.
Just think what their honeymoon was like.
I'd rather not.
Just say they did get divorced.
Who'd you want to go with? I'd get my own apartment and let them visit me.
What about you? I'd get my own apartment building, let 'em rent from me.
I never dreamed that it would come to this, that he would dare.
He was upset, angry.
He was confused.
He didn't know what he was doing.
Stop making excuses for him.
I'm not making excuses.
I'm just You kids still up? Mom, it's 8:15.
Oh.
Well, I-it wouldn't hurt you to get a good night's sleep for a change.
Hey, look.
If you want us to leave, why don't you just say, "please leave"? All: Please leave.
See how easy that was? You've always been on Richard's side, haven't you, Steven? I'm not taking Richard's side.
I'm not taking sides at all.
A-although when I when I spoke to Richard earlier, I You spoke to him? What did you say? Mm, nothing, nothing.
All I said was that he shouldn't sit still and let you take Keith to San Diego.
That's all you said? Why didn't you write a ransom note for him? We had a conversation, Elyse.
He's my friend.
Did you think you had any right to get involved in this? I think I had more than a right.
I had an obligation.
Oh, as a man? No.
As a woman? No.
As a friend.
I felt sorry for him.
He's been through a horrible divorce.
It wasn't exactly a fun divorce for me.
I didn't even get an award out of it.
Look, he needed to talk.
He was lonely.
He was depressed.
He was broke.
He didn't even have money for gas.
Good.
Then they can't get very far.
I gave him money.
Steven, how could you give him money? I-I hope you realize that could make you an accessory.
An accessory? Point of order, counselor Weren't you in the room when I gave him the money? That makes you an accessory once removed.
You have no right to call me that, Steven.
Cynthia, I was only trying to console Richard.
I had no idea that he'd try to take Keith.
I'll get it.
Hello? Richard! Just a second.
I-I'll get Cynthia.
Oh wha Come on, Richard.
You've got to talk to her.
You He won't talk to you.
Look Yeah, I-i guess so.
I Okay.
I promise.
Where are you? Okay, I'll leave right away.
What's going on? Is Keith all right? Keith's fine.
Richard wants to talk this over.
Well, I'm going with you.
He made me promise I'd come alone.
How can I let you go Cyn Cynthia.
Cynthia.
It's the only way.
Hey, Keith.
How you doin'? Great.
Great, Mr.
Keaton! I just won a free game.
Hey, way to go.
Hello, Richard.
Hi, Steve.
Thanks for coming.
Mind if I smoke? Go ahead.
Thanks, I-i hate to stop mid-pack.
Richard What are you doin'? I'm not sure.
I'm confused as hell.
That's why I wanted to talk to you.
What you're doing is crazy.
Maybe.
But there's no way I was gonna let her take him to San Diego.
You're breaking the law.
It's not about the law, Steve.
It's about my feelings.
It's about my life.
What about Keith's feelings? What about Keith's life? What are you talking about? Look, I am doing this for Keith.
What are you doing for him, rich? Making him a fugitive? You have no money.
You don't know where you're going.
Leaving your job.
You're not doing this to help Keith.
You're doing it to hurt Cynthia.
Come on, Richard.
Let's go home.
You ever been to the, uh, pony rides, Steve? I think we should stop at home first.
I go every Sunday.
I'm a regular.
That's what divorced fathers do on Sunday.
You should see us there.
Bunch of lonely guys dressed like our kids, trying to do the impossible.
Trying to love against the clock.
Waving as they come trotting toward us, and Drying our eyes when they make their turn.
We're a club.
We ought to get jackets.
We're Sundays fathers.
Sundays fools.
Coffee? Uh, oh, no.
Thanks.
I-i came here to talk.
What do you want to talk about? I can talk about anything.
You name the subject, and I'll talk.
Okay, I'll have that coffee.
Works every time.
Do you want some pie with that coffee? You tell me.
A little piece.
Richard, why did you ask me to come here? You want you want me to say you're doing the right thing? That Cynthia drove you to this? That you have no choice? That I'd do the same thing in your shoes? Yes, that's pretty much what I want you to say.
Well, I can't say that! Well, you just said it! I can't say it and mean it! You and Cynthia have got to talk this out.
We're through talking, Steve.
Now I'm doing this my way.
Your way is not going to work.
How the hell do you know so much about this, Keaton? I know you're making a big mistake, buster.
And don't call me "buster," Keaton.
I didn't call you "buster Keaton.
" Well, I didn't say you called me "buster Keaton.
" Can we stop this "buster Keaton" business?! I don't agree with what you're doing.
I will not support it.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot, Steve.
I'm glad I can come to you in my time of need.
Let's go, Keith.
Richard, you're doing something wrong.
It's not wrong, Steven! You haven't lived this! You can't know how I feel.
But I know what you're doing.
You and Cynthia are at war, and you're taking prisoners.
Bye, Mr.
Keaton.
What's taking him so long? He's been gone for over two hours now.
Try to calm down, Cynthia.
You're not making it any easier on yourself.
I know Keith isn't wearing a sweater.
Richard never makes him wear a sweater.
Where's Keith? What happened? The only thing I can tell you is that he's okay.
He's not coming back? I tried.
Richard wasn't listening.
I'm sorry.
No luck, huh, dad? I tried, Alex.
I really tried.
Yeah, I know you did.
You know what I was just thinking about? What? Lake hiawatha.
I'm glad I didn't hazard a guess.
Christmas, '79.
Remember? We shared a cabin up there with the baileys.
How can two people who loved each other so much They really did love each other.
I know.
I had the room next to them.
They really did love each other.
Anyway, dad, I'm gonna be really sure when I get married.
Well, I'll be rooting for you, son.
I hope you'll be one of the lucky ones.
You know, you are.
I know.
Sure, your mom and I fight once in a while, but, uh You're right.
I am one of the lucky ones.
I'll get it.
No, I'll get it.
But I'm closer.
No, I think I'm closer.
No, no.
Anyway, I think it's my turn.
Hello? Just a second.
Alex, it's for you.
Who is it? I don't know.
Some girl.
I'll take it upstairs.
You know, I could have gotten the phone.
I know.
It was the stupidest fight.
One of the all-time stupidest.
You ready to make up? Real ready.
Oh.
Mm.
I don't like it when we fight.
Neither do I, but I love making up.
Mm.
Alex: Oh, for crying out loud! Will you hang up the phone?! Steven, d-do you notice how we always seem to fight just before Richard and Cynthia come over? I guess we see a little of ourselves in them, and it scares us.
They once had a wonderful marriage, and it's over.
We just got to keep working at it.
You're a very persuasive guy, Steven.
Keith! Mom!