Gravity Falls (2012) s02e10 Episode Script

2x10 - "Northwest Mansion Noir" Preston, I must say, the guest list for this year's party has so much diversity.
Yes, a nice mix of millionaires and billionaires.
Put the oyster fork at an angle! We're not animals, man.
Now where the devil is Pacifica! What did I tell you about that dress? The theme is "sea foam green," not lake foam green.
- Go change! - But I-I kind of like it.
- Mind your mother, Pacifica.
- But Yes, Father.
Oh, no, it's happening.
Yes, you are my possessions! Obey me! This is a disaster.
The party's in just 24 hours.
Surely there's someone who could handle this sort of nonsense.
And I think I know just the person.
You asked for it, you got it.
An entire 48-hour marathon of Ghost Harassers.
on the Used To Be About History Channel.
Be strong, bladder.
We're not gonna move till sunset.
We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news.
- Oh, what? - It's starting! - Turn it up! - Make room for Grenda.
Well tonight's the night, but I've been out here for days.
The Northwest family's annual high-society shindig ball soiree is here.
And even though common folk aren't let in, that won't stop us from camping out for a peek at the fanciness.
Ooh! Okay, can someone please explain why people care about this? Um, it's pretty much the best party of all time.
Rich food, richer boys.
They say each gift basket has a live quail inside.
Give me your life, Pacifica.
Guys, in case you've already forgotten, Pacifica Northwest is the worst.
And that's not just jealousy talking.
I'd say that to her face.
- I need your help.
- You're the worst.
See? Look, you think it's easy for me to come here? I don't wanna be seen in this hovel.
But there's something haunting Northwest Manor.
If you don't help me, the party could be ruined.
And why should I trust you? All you've ever done is try to humiliate me and Mabel.
Just name your price, okay? I'll give you anything.
Hi, Pacifica.
Excuse us.
Dipper, don't you see what this means? If you help Pacifica, you could get us invites to the greatest party of all time.
What? Mabel, this is Pacifica we're talking about.
But it's Candy and Grenda's dream.
Dream! Fine.
I'll bust your ghost.
But, in exchange, I'll need three tickets to the party.
You're just lucky I'm desperate.
Whoo! Desperate, desperate, desperate! Grenda, get the glue gun.
We're making dresses.
Welcome to Northwest Manor, dorks.
Try not to touch anything.
Everything's so fancy.
Fancy floors, fancy plants.
- Fancy man.
- Yes.
Very good, miss.
The rumors were true.
Ah, if it isn't the man of the hour.
Hopefully, you can help us with our little situation - before the guests arrive in an hour.
- I'll do my best.
Splendid.
Pacifica, take our guests to the problem room, and, uh he's not wearing that, is he? I'm on it.
Ugh.
It's like this collar is strangling me.
Who do you guys think you're impressing with this stuff? Um, everyone.
You wouldn't understand.
High standards are what make the Northwest family great.
Funny, I thought it was lying about founding the town.
Don't touch that.
Oh, wow, guys, it's the guest list.
Whoa! - Check out this hottie.
- Marius von Fundshauser.
He's a baron from Austria.
Forget the quail.
I'm putting him in my guest basket.
Hold up, ladies.
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think this boy is out of our league.
Grenda's right.
He's a white whale.
Hunting him will destroy us.
There are tons of cute boys coming.
Let's swear a sisters' truce not to waste time on Marius.
Deal.
- Deal.
- Deal.
Whoa.
This is the main room where it's been happening.
Yep, this looks like the kind of room that would be haunted, all right.
I wouldn't be worried, though.
Ghosts fall under a ten-category scale.
Falling plates sound like a category one.
So what? Are you going to bore him back into the afterlife - by reading from this book? - Just gotta splash this sucker with some anointed water, and he should be out of your probably-fake blonde hair.
What was that about my hair? Sh.
I'm picking something up.
Come on, stupid thing.
There we go.
Uh, Pacifica? Ancient sins.
Ancient sins.
Ancient sins.
Ancient sins.
- Dipper, what is this? - It's a category ten.
Ancient blood and blackened skies.
The forest dark shall once more rise.
What do we do, what do we do? Don't worry.
It can't get worse than this.
I smell a Northwest.
Come out.
Come out, wherever you are.
Hurry.
Read through your dumb book already.
I'm looking, and it's not dumb, okay? This book is gonna save our lives.
All right, here we go.
Advice.
_ Oh, seriously? You shouldn't have come here.
This way.
Hurry! Welcome, dukes and duchesses.
- Sultans and sportsmen.
- Yo, what up, Presto? And reclusive 102-year-old mayor of Gravity Falls, Mayor Befufftlefumpter.
It's okay.
They're with me.
Tonight, we will enjoy only the finest of tastes and only the snootiest of laughter.
- That's the ticket.
- Cheese, chocolate.
- Cheese, chocolate.
- Candy, listen to me carefully.
You're caught in a sweet-savory loop.
Put the fondue fork down.
I want to, but I can't.
Introducing Baron Marius von Fundshauser.
- Guten tag.
- Guten take me now! - Mabel, we had a truce.
- Yes, yes, yes, a truce.
Grenda, can you go fetch us some fancy napkins? Wow.
Okay.
Listen, Mabel, I don't know if I can follow this truce.
- He is too adorable.
- Oh.
Me, too, Candy.
But what do we do? He's unattainable.
What if we flirt with him as a team? With our cuteness combined, one of us might have a chance.
It is the perfect plan.
But what about Grenda? I love Grenda, Mabel, but these boys are fancy.
Her aggressive flirting style might scare them away.
Hey, what's on your shirt? Ha! Gullible! Loser! Hurry.
Through the garden.
Watch out for peacocks.
Come on, come on.
I got it.
A haunted painting can only be trapped in a silver mirror.
Look, there's a silver mirror right there.
Wait! Don't go in there! This room has my parents' favorite carpet pattern.
They'll lose it if we track mud in there.
What? Are you serious? We'll find another way.
Pacifica, we don't have time for this.
Let me through! - No.
My parents will kill me.
- Why are you so afraid of your parents? You wouldn't understand.
- What is this place? - That's weird.
I don't even know where this room is.
- Hopefully, the ghost doesn't either.
- Yeah.
Maybe we're safe.
Pacifica! Watch out! Your fate is sealed! A silver mirror.
Prepare to die, Northwest! Did you get him? Oh, free me! Yes! We did it! Can I pay you to pretend that never happened? Well, Pacifica, you really found the right man for the job.
We can't thank you enough.
- That's enough.
- He-hey, just holdin' up my end of the deal.
Wait.
Leaving already? You're at the world's best party, dummy.
I'd love to stay, but I've got a category ten ghost to dispose of.
Category ten.
Call me crazy, but maybe she's not that bad after all.
What are you laughing about, man? I defeated you.
You've been had, boy.
- You remind me of me 150 years ago.
- What do you mean? One hundred and fifty years ago this day, the Northwests asked us lumber folk to build them a mansion atop the hill.
We were told it would be a service to the town, that once a year, they would throw a grand party, and all would share in the bounty.
It took years of back-breaking labor and sacrifice, but when it was time for the grand party they promised the common folk of the town, they refused to let us in.
You promised, Northwest! With the trees gone, the mudslides began.
While they partied and laughed, I was swept away by the storm.
And so I said with final breath, 150 years I'll return from death.
And if the gate still closed to town, wealthy blood will stain the ground.
A curse passed down until this day.
So wait a minute.
The Northwests knew this haunting was coming, and they tricked me into helping them to avoid ghostly justice? I'll be right back.
Thank you so much for coming, mayor.
As a sign of our respect, please take this chimp servant.
- Okay.
- Keep him away from bright lights.
He gets grabby.
Northwests! You've got some explaining to do.
Dipper, you came back.
You lied to me! All of you did.
All you had to do was let the townsfolk into the party, and you could've broken the curse.
But you made me do your dirty work instead.
Look at who you're talking to, boy.
I'm hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world.
You think they'd come here if they had to rub elbows - with your kind? - My kind? I was right about you all along.
You're just as bad as your parents.
- Another link in the world's worst chain.
- I'm sorry.
They made me.
I should've told you, but Enjoy the party.
It's the last time you and your kind will ever come.
No, no! Those aren't for him.
Stupid Northwests.
Making me do their exorcism for them.
Exodus demonus, spookus scarus, - aintafraidus noghostus.
- Dipper.
Dipper, please let me get my vengeance on the Northwests.
You hate them as much as I.
Hey, I feel you.
It's just, my sister's in there, and you seem a little unstable, man.
Very well, boy.
Then before you banish my soul, may these tired old lumber eyes gaze upon the trees one final time? Uh I guess.
Go nuts, man.
What? Yes! Vengeance! Oh, no.
Mabel! Hi.
I'm Mabel.
So, Australia, huh? Do you guys eat kangaroo meat over there, - or are they strictly pets? - I am from Austria.
- Tag, tag.
- I am Candy.
I love the tiny hats you wear on your shoulders.
Hi! If you were a boat, do you know what kind you'd be? A dreamboat.
That's what kind.
- You're tagged out.
- Tagged back in.
- You can't do that.
- I can tag myself.
It's allowed.
Ahem! What exactly was all that? You were flirting with Marius without me.
We're sorry, Grenda.
It's just Your flirting style can come off as a bit intense.
Oh, I see.
You think I shouldn't be myself just because I'm in this stupid mansion.
I thought you liked my style.
We do, but these boys might not.
Oh.
Then I guess they wouldn't like this either.
- Hey, Marius.
- Yeah? You've got something on your shirt.
Thank you all for coming.
I think we can all say this party was a rousing success.
I guess you could say it was a slam dunk, Preston.
Yes, yes, I guess, sure.
A toast to our family name.
What?! Generations locked away.
My revenge shall have its day.
Oh, the Grim Reaper.
I've been wondering when you would arrive.
- Preston, what are we going to do? - Prepare the panic room.
Please help me.
Whoa! That is messed up! Just one way to change your fates.
A Northwest must open the party gates.
A Northwest? Pacifica! Pacifica.
There you are.
The ghost is turning everyone to wood, and he just started rhyming for some reason.
I need your help! Pacifica? You wanna know why this room was locked up? This is what I found in here.
A painted record of every horrible thing that my family's ever done.
Lying, cheating, and then, there's me.
I lied to you just because I'm too scared to talk back to my stupid parents.
You were right about me.
I am just another link in the world's worst chain.
Pacifica, I'm sorry about what I said earlier, but just because you're your parents' daughter doesn't mean you have to be like them.
It's not too late.
- It's too late! - Oh, no! You are all wood! Dipper, wait! All right, ghost.
Prepare to get No, wait! No, no, no, no! No, someone help.
Someone he ! A forest of death, a lesson learned.
And now, the Northwest manor will burn! Hey, ugly.
Over here.
You want me to let in the townsfolk? 'Cause I'll do it.
Just change everyone back.
You wish to prove yourself? Pull that lever and open the grand gate to the town.
Fulfill your ancestors' promise.
Pacifica Elise Northwest, stop this instant! We can't let the town see us like this.
We have a reputation to uphold.
Now come into the panic room.
There's enough mini sandwiches and oxygen to last you, me, and a butler for a week.
We'll eat the butler.
You dare disobey us? Dingly, dingly.
Is this bell broken? Our family name is broken, and I'm gonna fix it.
Get it, get it.
Yes, yes, it's happening.
My heart, once as hard as oak, now grows soft like more of a birch or something.
Pacifica, you are not like the other Northwests.
I feel lumber justice.
Oh, yes! Yeah! Good Lord, the riff-raff.
They're everywhere! Ooh.
Ha ha! That's not how the fork should be placed.
- Ugh, man, what happened? - Ahem! Grenda, we are so sorry.
- We shouldn't have left you behind.
- It's okay.
Maybe I do need to work on my flirting.
Come on, let's go dunk our heads into cheese and chocolate.
- Friends.
- Friends.
Wait! Don't go.
Grenda, was it? I must speak with you.
There's something about you.
I can't get you out of my head.
You're so bold and confident.
I know you're probably out of my league, but might I give you mein phone number? I don't have a phone! Write it on my face! Whoa! Go, Grenda.
I guess we shouldn't have sold her short.
- I call bridesmaid.
- What? I call co-bridesmaids.
Man, if your family hates you for this, they're idiots.
This is great.
Enjoy it while it lasts.
Next year, I'm sure they're just gonna lock everyone out again.
Hey, guess what we're standing on.
Take that! But seriously, I'd better go find someone to clean this up.
Whoo! Scoobiddy doo! Hornswaggle my goat knees! Well, ho-ho, what's up, McGucket? Dipper, I been lookin' for you.
I fixed the laptop.
I've been doin' calculations, and I think something terrible is comin'.
The apocalypse.
The end times! You know what, McGucket.
How about we talk about this stuff tomorrow? It's a party.
Let's have some fun for once, huh? Oh, this is bad! Somethin's comin'.
Somethin' big.
- Quick, in here, my darling.
- A moment alone at last.
You can drop the act, Trigger.
They're seeing activity on the machine.
- It's go time.
- Roger that.
- Where's my phone? - I don't have it.
Yes, you do.
It was in your purse.
So I'm just supposed to hold on everything for you? I asked you and we were in the car! Why do we always have to fight at parties? Not even gonna ask.