InSecurity (2011) s02e10 Episode Script

How's the icing? Rich, but not too buttery.
- And the cake? - Very moist.
With a hint of, um, mocha? Great.
- The truth serum is completely undetectable.
- Hm? Alex, I need to leave work early today.
I'm faking a doctor's appointment to go golfing.
Right now I'm just waiting for you to turn your head because my underwear's riding up and I need to adjust it.
- Have you tried this cake? - Very good.
I hate your top.
Please turn your head.
Oh.
InSecurity SO2E10 I Spy Peter Roger and Lian Ford.
He's a CFO at Canland Biogenetic.
She's a mail order bride from Guangzhou, China.
We think she's funnelling his company's biotech research back home.
Yeah, Canland's losing millions in patents, so I want this to be NISA's top priority, not doodling on folders.
That's why I want Claude and JoJo to pose as a couple.
Get close to Roger and his wife.
I couldn't have been ordered by a nicer guy.
It was love at first catalogue sighting.
Come on, ya old lonely, desperate guy, you.
Cranston.
Deputy Minister Caplan.
I'm not here.
Yeah, sure, sure.
That would oh, you hung up.
She wants to see me in her office this afternoon.
Getting called up to the big "shew".
Impressive.
If I were you, I'd wear a cup.
Hello, Deputy Minister Caplan.
I hope you're doing well.
- May I take your coat? - She's not wearing a coat, Stewart.
Alex, this is Stewart Caplan.
- Oh, your son.
- Correct.
It must be great to have him around.
I'm not paying you to sit, Stewart.
Alex, I like you.
I think you do strong work.
I'd like to take you under my wing and nurture you.
Thank you, Deputy Minister.
That sounds like a great opportunity.
I also need you to investigate Peter McNeil.
Excuse me? It goes the other way, Stewart.
The other way.
The other, other way! Sorry, why do I have to investigate Peter? There's a rumour that he's had unauthorized contact with FSB Agent Boris Larinov.
There's no way Peter's working with the Russians.
His great-great grandfather tobogganed with Wilfred Laurier.
They were kids, I think.
Yeah, I'm not happy about this either.
I was just starting to get used to McNeil's stink.
Hey.
Ligeria City's playing Manchester United, in Ottawa, at soccer.
You must be excited.
I was, until I learned I have to testify at a covert inquiry tonight.
I can't even wear my jersey to that thing.
Ah, that sucks.
Can I go? Sorry, it's a secret hearing.
No, the game.
It sounds like fun.
I'm always looking to do fun things, hence why I read the paper.
You know what? Sure.
That's a great idea.
You enjoy them to the fullest.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, I'm gonna cheer for your boys, okay? What are our chances? Oh, we're going to get smoked.
I gotta say, Pascal, that Marcie, here, has got a hell of an arm.
I couldn't believe how you managed to knock down jug after jug.
That carnie was wrong to doubt you, hey, Shorty? Oh, it's all in the wrist, Wrinkly.
Well, our car's this way.
It's been so nice to meet you.
Yeah, it's hard to find people with similar interests.
- We should do this again.
- Yeah.
We are very busy these days.
Well, we could make time for Pascal and Marcie.
I'd love to see those holiday pics.
Where were they from again? - Spain.
- Antigua.
- Ah, it was a package tour.
- Look at you.
Jetsetters.
- Well, we've got each other's number, so - We call you sometime.
Goodbye.
Yes.
Bye.
What? Well, that wasn't so bad.
Pet names need a little elbow grease, but otherwise Perfect couple.
Oh, no, Peter.
What are you doing? N'udu.
Hey, I need you to run a plate.
Is this business or personal? I'm trailing someone from the agency.
No one you know.
Ah, spying on your own.
Never an easy thing.
You feel terrible for deceiving someone so close, but also amazing for deceiving someone so close.
I'm stuck on the feeling terrible part.
The plate is Hotel, Victor, Six, Kilo, 4-1-4.
Here is the plate search.
Rental car loaned to B.
Larinov.
Oh, no.
That doesn't look like a Boris.
No, it's, ah, Bianca Larinov.
She's she's clean.
Oh.
But her brother, Boris, is in the FSB.
They could just be acquaintances.
Who like to kiss.
Hey, Peter, can we talk? Is this operational? Do I need to turn on my computer? No, uh, it's relationship stuff.
Oh, good.
I can handle this.
What's up? Um, well, you know in this job it's so hard to meet people.
Everyone seems to have that one thing that's a deal breaker.
Yeah, good ones are hard to find.
Maybe in the past I've, um, overlooked that deal breaker, uh, for convenience sake.
But I'm not gonna do that anymore.
Good to know.
I don't want to be stuck with someone who's wrong for me because it might ruin my future.
Do you get what I'm trying to say? Yeah.
I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down.
Good! Well, I feel much better now that we've had this chat.
Okay.
So, how was it? How was what? Oh, the game, that I totally went to.
We crushed them, five, nil.
You realize you saw history, right? Right.
What a win.
Is this the guy who saw our country's greatest day, firsthand? Yes.
Burt, this is Roderick from Surveillance Tech.
He had to attend a funeral the night of the game.
I wanted to jump in the grave.
Please, fill us in.
Give us every detail.
Start with the first goal.
Oh, what a doozie, great goal.
Go on.
Well, the guy, uh, he was running, and so were other guys.
And the ball was around somewhere, and he gave the ball a real heck of a kick with his foot and the ball just, whoot! What a goal.
You saw the ball go in? Yeah, it just, choo, sailed right on into the net.
But in the news it said it hit two players' heads and a crossbeam first.
Sure did, and then it, fchoo, went right on in.
- How were the cheerleaders? - So hot.
There is no cheerleading in soccer.
I'm sorry, I didn't go.
It was supposed to rain.
I was tired.
I live really far from the stadium.
Alex, can I talk to you for a second? You know that conversation we had the other day? It hit home.
I was dating someone, but now I'm not.
Oh, good.
Uh, I mean I I didn't even know you were in a relationship.
Yeah.
So now you and me, we're in the same boat.
So, who's gonna pick up the paddle first? I don't know, the one who understands the metaphor? Okay, I'll start.
- Will you go out on a date with me? - What? Or we could skip to the good part.
I'm not really sure how desperate you are to advance this thing.
Oh, my God.
I picked up what you put down, so.
Kinda crazy, right? We're actually gonna do this thing.
- I know about Bianca.
- Yeah, I just told you about her.
What? Wait.
How did you know her name? Caplan asked me to spy on you.
O- kay.
But I thought you returned the videos.
No, I put them in your car.
I don't like that shopping mall.
It plays awful music.
But it's all the way across town for me.
But you're the one who wanted to see the talking chicken movie.
N'udu raved about it.
Oh, and we need some scratch-and-wins, too.
Helene, that's a whole other mall, with all those pierced teenagers.
I hate going there.
That's why I love you.
Bye, mon amour.
Hey, Cookie.
We're getting together with Roger and Lian tonight.
Uh-uh-uh.
Tonight's my poker game.
It's the only time they could get together, so I invited them to the house.
- We don't have a house.
- We'll use the safe house on Glenora.
That's where we hold the game.
Then I suggest you get over there and clean things up.
Look, I got errands to run.
Can't you do it? I'm still photoshopping vacation photos from our package tour.
Thanks again for mentioning Spain.
I thought we agreed on Spain.
It was always Antigua! You never listen.
Okay.
Sorry.
I have some DVDs to return.
- You look like hell, Cranston.
- What's the poop on McNeil? - Can I refill your water? - Thank you, I'm good.
I haven't found anything on Peter.
Nothing? I had it from a very good source.
- Would you like some more water? - She said she was good, Stewart.
Keep that up, you'll be going to the prom by yourself.
I know you're concerned, but Peter's clean.
I hope you're right 'cause if it comes out that a NISA director's in bed with the Russians, not only is he gone, but it's my balls on the line too.
He's rock solid on our side, I swear.
Okay, fine.
Whatever.
Everyone's good.
It's a sweet day.
Get the hell out.
Hey, I, uh, I wanted to apologize about the tickets and It's okay.
Are you sure I can't get you anything? I could really use a pen, actually.
Claude's got a spare on his desk.
I'm sure he won't mind.
No, your pen.
It must be your pen.
Yeah, okay, I've got one.
Oh.
This means a lot to you? Yeah.
It was a grad gift from the Academy.
Oh.
Come on.
What the hell is this made out of? Copper? Well, it's a shame to see a pen like this go to waste.
I'm sorry, can I just fish my pen out of there? No.
I said, I do not want to pitch in on the gift for the accountant.
It's just me, with a big apology.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Please have a seat.
Take my chair.
You've been angling for it.
That's not true.
What were you doing seeing that girl, anyway? We hit it off at a party.
I didn't know her brother was FSB.
Plus she was super hot.
Weren't you worried about getting caught? I'm sorry I didn't factor in a backstabber spying on me.
Speaking of which, do you want this back? Oh, here you go.
McNeil and Cranston.
Oh, just the two that I wanted to throw some yells at.
Peter and I are in the middle of something.
We'll need a minute.
In here? This room that used to be his office and now it's not because he's fired? Oh, wait, that didn't sound so satisfying.
- You're fired.
- What? I ended things with Bianca, for the agency.
Well, kinda for Alex, but also the agency.
No intel was compromised.
He's not guilty of any breach.
Think of the headlines: "NISA Director bangs sister of Russian spy.
" One thing you don't know about Peter McNeil, he's never been fired.
So he really doesn't know what to do right now.
I'm guessing I go with these guys.
Uh, do I get paid for the full day? I'd better.
- Alex, water my ficus.
- Move it, McNeil.
I suppose I'm next.
Oh, you were this close.
But I know you only protected McNeil 'cause you're hot for his bod.
Hardly.
I hope you don't mind my hand up your behind, because from this point on you are my puppet.
I will put on little puppet shows with you.
Understood? That's perfectly clear.
Now, if you'll excuse me, this ficus and I have business elsewhere.
Okay, I'm back with the scratch-and-wins.
- Scratch-and-wins? - I asked for baby carrots.
I can't keep these chores straight.
I picked up some truffles, couldn't remember if they were for you or Helene.
I got so stressed, I ate half the box.
I was up all night doing our fake finances.
I haven't seen Burt in two days.
Maybe we need to get out of each other's hair for a bit.
Let's put on some smiles.
I hate the Fords.
- Okay, Pascal.
- Yeah? Your dog needs an operation to save his life, but it will cost you $15,000.
What should we do? Save the dog, but I make him get a job.
I guess you get a point for that.
Oh, it looks like we're in the lead.
Work harder, Roger.
Not enough concentrating.
- It's just a a game.
- We are losing respect.
Oh, great, the respect argument.
We're gonna do this now? Really? Well, maybe now is the time for the vacation photos.
- Antigua.
- And Spain.
LIAN: I love that.
Then Roger can show you pictures of our vacation to nowhere.
You know that it is busy at work right now.
If our competitors didn't keep scooping us, I'd have time to take you to someplace nice.
I think I should start the dishes.
Good idea, Babe.
See how he uses terms of affection.
Take notes.
Hey.
I haven't seen you since I was escorted out of the building I helped design.
This is garbage.
We can't let Caplan win.
Whatever.
My dad got me a sweet gig supervising one of his fireworks plants in Jakarta.
- That sounds terrible.
- Meh, I get my own locker.
Well, hey, do you like frozen cranberries? I'm trying to clean out my fridge.
This isn't over.
I will not let you move to Jakarta.
The best part is, I only gotta do monsoon season.
Cousin Dusty takes the rest.
Peter, remember when we were at that bar and you got kicked out? You didn't go home and sleep it off.
You kept finding a way to sneak back in.
No matter how many times those bouncers kicked you out, you somehow made it back out onto that dance floor.
I don't remember that at all.
The rest of us made a pact never to tell you about it.
But it was inspiring.
Where's that Peter? Do you want me to take on Caplan? I'm done being hammered by that beast.
I don't know how her kid puts up with it.
I don't think Stewart's her biggest fan.
He does seem like a wuss.
Oh that reminds me, I gotta call my dad, tell him I'm fine paying for my own kidnapping insurance.
You know, Roger, we may look like a good couple, but, um, we've got our problems too.
Nothing like what I've got.
She's been seeing this guy, Burt.
And I can't do anything about it because I've been seeing Helene for the past 26 years.
Good God, man.
When you guys were in the haunted house at the carnival, I was crying in the port-o-potty.
At least you have got some freedom.
I tried to take a buyout at my job.
Lian threatened to leave me.
- Oh.
Seems really strange.
- Oh, that's nothing.
She caught me looking at her art portfolio and she threatened to leave me.
And I'm like, it's a blank canvas.
No art? I say, Honey, maybe we should try a new teacher.
You know, I know you like this guy from Guangzhou.
And then she threatens to leave me.
Hey.
You guys doin' okay? We're having a very illuminating conversation.
- Hey, I got somethin' for ya.
- Uh-huh? A little somethin' I like to call an autograph from the star striker of Ligeria City, Desmond Shinka! This is a blank piece of paper.
Oh, that's odd.
I coulda sworn Shinka signed it.
Let me see, how can I can fix this? Desmond.
What? Shinka.
Here? No way.
Happy birthday, Mr.
N'udu.
Oh, it's not my birthday, but thank you anyways.
Oh.
This is wonderful.
- I hope you can forgive me now? - Of course.
Of course.
I finally saw the game.
- You were brilliant, electrifying.
- Thank you.
If you keep playing like this, Ligeria will have its best shot - at the World Cup in decades.
- Yes.
Yes.
You must help me defect.
- Now! - Eh, wha what? I can't live in Ligeria anymore.
Now, let's not make any crazy decisions.
Sure, the country's a war zone, but it has its charms.
The government is corrupt.
One wrong move and you vanish.
But you're an athlete.
You can outrun the secret police.
I did.
- N'udu.
- Why didn't you tell me about this? I didn't know.
Please, for my family.
Thanks for meeting with me, Stewart.
I hope you found the park easily.
Oh, yeah.
I come here to practise karate.
I bet your mom thinks that's a waste of time.
What she doesn't know won't hurt her.
I kinda had a feeling you were a rebel.
That's actually why I asked you down here.
- You wanna learn karate? - No.
I see the way you mom treats you.
Like a kid.
I bet someone so smart and brave would like to prove yourself as a man.
- Okay, that's not what I meant.
- Sorry.
No, it's okay.
I really have to work on sending clearer signals.
I holy, I don't know what's going on.
What I meant was, I bet you know some of your mom's secrets.
Yeah, maybe.
Oh, now you're being coy.
If you help me, I'll help you.
With something, something not kissing related.
Will you go to the prom with me? Sure.
It can't be any worse than my own.
They took down Lian at her art class.
Not bad.
Biomimetic gel structures, thermal cyclers.
She's got talent.
It looks like there won't be any more couples nights with the Fords.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Yeah.
I got you something.
Aww, what a good hubbie.
Looking forward to you and I locking in a blissful and Oh, I'm sorry, that's for Helene.
I must have switched gifts.
She's probably having an allergic reaction to your lavender bath bomb right now.
Stewart told me you had a collection of racy photos.
It wasn't until later I realized you were in them.
Damn it, I looked good back then.
You'll look good on the front pages if Peter isn't reinstated.
Fine.
I just can't believe you got my son to turn on me.
I'm not new at this.
- But I hope you'll go easy on Stewart.
- Are you kidding? I haven't been this proud of him since he flushed his goldfish.
Now I don't have to take him to the prom.
Apparently, the theme is Arabian Nights.
Come by the house at seven for pictures? Backyard, no relatives, - I keep the memory card.
- Done.
How was the prom? It turned out that Stewart was just using me to make Carly Miller jealous.
It worked.
, Ah, well, sometimes it's hard to meet people that don't have hidden agendas.
I promise, no more agenda hiding.
I'm glad you didn't give up on me.
I'm glad you didn't end up in Jakarta, although I'm sure you woulda put that firework factory on the map.
Yeah, I kinda lied about that, too.
Dad was gonna start me on the floor cutting fuses.
That's how Dusty lost his pinkies.
Well, you're here now, and in one piece.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Oh.
I should be going.
The magic of prom night's wearing off.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've gotta break it to Papa that I'm not on the overnight to Java.
I'll see ya in the morning.
I guess so.
We should probably keep this to ourselves.
And get the security camera tapes from the NISA elevator.
BURT: Ouch, another huge loss for Ligeria.
Without Shinka, they are tanking.
I know.
If you hadn't stopped me from phoning the coach and giving up Shinka's location, we could have won.
- We did the right thing.
- It's true.
You know, I saw Shinka at the Taco Mart.
He looked very happy working there.
Sure, he gave me a taquito when I ordered a burrito, but still.
- He's a true champion.
- It was a great taquito.
Subtitle by: Kiasuseven