Life & Beth (2022) s02e10 Episode Script

1
("WISH I COULD CROSS THE SEA"
BY DAUGHTER PLAYING)
(RATTLING)
♪♪
(COAT RUSTLING)
(KEYS JINGLING)
(SIGHS)
Go outside.
Go outside, Ann.
(SIGHS)
(SINGING)
(DEEP SIGH)
(HYPERVENTILATING)
You keep your mother up ♪
(SONG CONTINUES)
BETH: You coulda got there.
Sorry!
- Car!
- ANN: Oh.
You watch the town shut down ♪
If you wanna be good, you gotta work
harder than everybody else.
You have to be tougher.
You have to be braver,
even if you really aren't.
- You understand?
- Okay, yeah.
Alright, let's go again.
- Okay.
- Okay.
(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
- That's okay!
- ANN: Okay.
- We got this. We got this.
- ANN: Yeah.
God, this place is insane.
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(PIANO CONTINUES)
(THUDDING)
John? What the hell are you doing?
What?! I can't hear you!
You should come up.
The doula's gonna be here.
I can't hear you, but go inside!
The doula will be here soon!
(THUDDING RESUMES)
- (BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE)
- (MUTTERING)
Oh, my God!
- You must be Beth.
- BETH: Yeah.
(AUTUMN SIGHS)
- Oh.
- I'm Autumn,
your doula.
Yes. God.
Y-You're so
I know.
- Here, please sit.
- Oh, great. Great.
Let me just get you comfortable.
Lean forward.
You can just put your head in my hand.
- Okay.
- The full weight.
- Okay.
- Doesn't that feel good?
Yeah, it's great.
Okay. And back.
Wow. Thank you.
- Wow, your skin.
- Oh, thank you.
You're very dehydrated.
I'm gonna get you some water.
- Um
- Is room temp okay?
Yeah. That's amazing.
- U-Um.
- (WATER RUNNING)
So, do I just, like, ask you
- questions or?
- (AUTUMN SIGHS)
Think of me as a resource of information
for all things pregnancy
and birth related.
My sole purpose is to advocate for you
and to make you comfortable.
That's amazing.
Wow. This is so good.
- This is just from the sink?
- Mm.
God, this all feels like a dream.
Just this house and you and
It's just a lot of eye contact.
You're uncomfortable with eye contact?
No! No, no, no. I-I'm, I'm not.
My husband, John, he-he's
- out there, um
- Mm.
- on the spectrum.
- Mm.
How many people can be
in the birthing room?
Two.
So, that's me and your partner.
Okay.
There's someone else
you wanted in the room.
Well, I was thinking about my sister.
But we're not even
talking right now, so she's
It's, it's cool.
Two is good. Two's right.
- Yeah.
- Have you been doing perineal massage?
Do you know what that is?
- Perineal is
- Yes. So
- With flowers?
- No, no, no.
- Something that can happen
- Yeah.
it's, it's not a big deal.
It does happen sometimes,
is tearing, right?
What we don't want
to happen is extreme tearing.
- (SIGHS)
- A level
three to five.
We don't wanna tear
from taint to asshole
'cause it's,
it's something that's so preventable.
So, you take some oil.
You have to put it on the back
of your pussy, right?
You're gonna rub it
on the back of your pussy,
so that it opens up, it stretches it.
We wanna improve
the e-elasticity of your pussy,
so that it can expand
with your baby's head,
which, to me, looks big.
♪♪
Ann isn't getting back to me.
Have you heard of perineal massage?
What is that?
Nothing.
Like a massage you get every year?
♪♪
(RUMBLING)
It sounds like you really liked her.
Oh, my God. She made me so calm.
- Thank you for getting her.
- Good.
Well, I know I don't always
say the right thing to calm you down,
so I figured we should
hire someone who can.
Babe, that's really sweet.
You say the right thing.
- Yeah.
- I'm so glad we came up here.
- I know.
- Look how beautiful this is.
- Wow.
- This was a good idea.
- (BETH GROANS PAINFULLY)
- What?
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- What? What?
No, no. It's I think it was, like
- Oh, my God, your water broke!
- Oh, did it?
- Oh, God. Uh, i-it was like
- Come on. We have to go.
- a contraction or something.
- Should I carry you?
- No! No, stop. Get I'm fine.
- Okay, okay, okay. Relax.
- Let's calmly walk to the house. Yes.
- Relax. Yes, yes.
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
- JOHN: Wait!
- BETH: What?
JOHN: Fox!
- BETH: You see a fox? Where? Just
- JOHN: Yes. Three o'clock.
BETH: W Uh, can you point?
That would be Oh, I see it.
JOHN: I'm pointing with my nose.
BETH: I see No, I see it.
That's not
- Whose three o'clock is that?
- JOHN: Oh, that's, that's a different one.
- There was one over there, too.
- BETH: That's not
Okay.
JOHN: Alright, let's go. This is it.
BETH: This is it!
This isn't it.
You've probably got a week to go.
You're just dehydrated.
I'm gonna grab you an IV.
Wait, didn't my water break?
Ya pissed yourself.
Okay.
Babe, I think I-I-I wanna go home.
Like, home home.
-I-I don't think I wanna be, like,
-(JOHN SIGHS)
giving birth out here.
I want, like, a hospital.
Ya know, machines and
beeping and drugs and
I-I wanna get a sch
a scheduled C-section.
- Yeah.
- Ya know? Like,
I think that's my
birth plan.
Then that's what we'll do.
- I'll start packing.
- Yeah.
It's a good birth plan, right?
To not die?
JOHN: I like it.
- (CAR DOOR SHUTS)
- (ENGINE STARTS)
(LOUD VOMITING, COUGHING)
Yeah, this feels like the right move.
- Yeah, I'm so glad we're going home.
- Me too.
- (NOTIFICATION SOUND)
- Oh.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
Well, now we're gonna be
in town for Jen's 40th birthday.
It's, like, a surprise.
I feel like we have to go.
It's easy to get out of it.
No one knows we aren't upstate.
I told, I told all them. (LAUGHS)
- We'll just go.
- Alright.
- Let's go.
- Yeah.
I texted my sister, too.
She's not writing me back, of course.
(VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLASS CHATTER)
(SCREAMS)
- (LAUGHTER)
- Oh, my God.
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
(VIOLIN MUSIC ENDS)
(BASS GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING)
(TIRES SQUEAL)
(SCREECH)
Oh, no, Beth.
Beth, please don't say anything.
- Beth!
- Stay down.
- Stay down.
- (ANN WHIMPERS)
Okay.
Hi, Beth! Is Annie with you?
I Is Tracy home? I was
I just wanted to ask her about,
um, joining the Girl Scouts.
Yeah. She's up there with her friend.
- Okay.
- Annie should come over.
How's your mom?
(DOOR CREAKS)
Hi, Tracy.
- Hi
- BETH: Don't talk.
Who are you?
- Meegan.
- BETH: Okay.
What happened today?
What did you do to my sister?
Tell the truth, Meegan.
We put thumbtacks on her chair.
(SCOFFS)
And whose idea was that, Meegan?
Yeah, I fuckin' knew it was you.
I knew.
I just wanted you to know
that your friends are fake.
They're gonna fuckin' sell you out.
Isn't that right, Meegan?
So, if I hear that you ever
pull any shit like that again
or even so much as give
my sister a dirty look
I will come over here,
right to your house,
and I will scalp the both of you.
Do you little girls know
what that means?
- It mea
- BETH: Don't talk.
It means that I will come here,
and I will cut off the top of your hair
on your little, tiny heads.
Do you little bitches understand me?
Do you guys fucking understand?!
Talk!
- Yes.
- Yes. I understand.
BETH: Good.
Now, please consider joining us
in the Girl Scouts of America.
(SOFT LAUGH)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(BASS GUITAR MUSIC RESTARTS)
(SIGHS)
- (CAR DOOR OPENS)
- Beth, what did you say?
- What did you say?!
- Nothing.
- Beth, did you yell at them? Oh, my God.
- Put your seatbelt on.
(STARTS CAR)
- (SHUTS DOOR)
- (SEATBELT CLICK)
Do you really have
to go away to college?
(TIRES SQUEAL)
(GRAVEL CRUNCHING)
(ENGINE STOPS)
- (DOOR CREAKS)
- (SIGHS)
♪♪
Oh, my God.
What do you think?
You did it.
I-It's incredible, John.
Well, it was, it was
actually pretty much done
- before we headed upstate, but
- God, look at this.
I just had to get
in here and clean up,
and then Cole put the
finishing touches on everything.
Yeah, I see that. This is awful.
Yeah, they squirted all over the place.
Oh, my God. You did it.
Yeah, Cole said that my job
will be there waiting for me
whenever I'm done making
"milk with my titties."
- That's good.
- John.
(SIGHS) I'm so sorry
I didn't believe in you.
(DROPS KEYS)
You didn't trust me.
No, I did Of course.
I-I trust you more than
anyone. I just
You know
didn't trust you.
♪♪
Oh, my God.
- I'm working on it.
- I know. Me too.
- (CAR APPROACHING)
- (GRAVEL CRUNCHING)
(SCRAPING)
BETH: What do you think
about the place?
- It's-It's nice.
- Yeah?
- You don't think it's weird?
- No.
Thanks for comin' to see me.
You're so fat.
I'm pregnant, Dad.
- I know.
- This is a baby.
- I know.
- Okay. (LAUGHS)
It's just you look beautiful.
You look like a big, beautiful,
fat pregnant person. It's
Oh, my God, thank you.
- You feel good?
- No.
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks, Dad.
How's Flora?
She's dead.
What?
Yeah, she died in,
uh, one of those, um
those balloons.
She, She, She,
She had an accident, y-you know
Hot air ball Like, the movie Up?
Like, that? Like, a hot air
Like a balloon.
And ya know, one minute you're having
a sexual affair
with a beautiful, erotic woman,
and the next minute, she's gone.
- But she left me an old Buick.
- Oh, that's Okay, yeah.
- It's not bad. Not bad.
- It's nice. It's not. Yeah. It's good.
- Congratulations, I guess.
- Yeah. Thank you.
I think I'm gonna sell it.
Yeah.
Look at that.
That's the baby. (SIGHS)
♪♪
- (WEAK LAUGH)
- Wow.
(PENSIVE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING OUTSIDE)
(BIRDS CONTINUE CHIRPING)
Any day now, huh?
Day after tomorrow.
♪♪
Do you have any advice?
(SIGHS)
Nope.
You finish that crib?
- Yep. Poplar.
- Hm.
(TAPS BASKETBALL)
(BAG RUSTLES)
- What's that?
- Just, uh.
- Nothin'. A little
- Huh?
Nothing. Just, uh, t-take it.
(RUSTLE)
♪♪
Love you, Dad.
Place looks pretty good.
- Yeah.
- Pretty good.
(PARTY CHATTER)
- BETH: You want food or anything?
- No.
Hey, Jeff, when is Jen gonna get here?
Uh, she was gonna
text when she was on her way,
probably about 15 minutes.
Um, grab some food.
Make yourself at home.
Hey, babe, can you get me
some pigs-in-a-blanket? Thank you.
Hey!
Whoa! Jeff invited you?
Yeah. Yeah, Jeff doesn't
know that many people,
thinks I'm pretty cool.
I'm so happy to see your face, Claire.
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
And what's different about your face?
I haven't had a drink in nine months.
Me neither.
Mm. (LAUGHS)
Wow. Oh, there's our doula.
Hi!
- (GASPS) Hi!
- BETH: Hey.
- Hi.
- This is Autumn.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Good.
- Great.
Hey, Autumn, I'm Matt.
- This is my daughter, Claire.
- CLAIRE/AUTUMN: Hi.
Wow. (LAUGHS) You have really,
really great energy.
No, he doesn't.
That's gotta be comin'
from somewhere else.
Um, where's the bathroom?
I just have to go wash my hands.
It's right down the hall to the left.
Do you want me,
do you want me to show you?
- AUTUMN: Got it.
- BETH: She's got it.
- Okay.
- I'll get it. Don't worry. Just sit.
- Oh. Okay.
- Yeah.
- Okay. (GIGGLE)
- Thanks.
- (DOOR SHUTS)
- (PARTY CHATTER)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING,
INDISTINCT SINGING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(SIGHS)
Who are you?
I'm Autumn.
Are you some kinda
counselor or something?
- Yeah, sort of. (LAUGHS)
- (DOOR SHUTS)
Are we late?
- LAVAR: Oh, shit.
- I'm just gonna use the bathroom.
(GIGGLE) Hi.
I'm Autumn.
JEN: The fuck is going on?
LaVar, did you set this up?
LAVAR: Uh, I-I don't know
what to say right now.
JEN: Why are you holding an envelope?
To tell me how I'm fuckin' up?
(MUFFLED) Is that all the things
that I've done wrong?
Oh, Jeff, she's here! Shit.
Fuck. I'm not ready.
LAVAR: No, this is
(PANTING)
- Jenny
- JEN: You back the fuck up, bitch!
Yeah, you sit.
Okay?
I know what this is.
(HEAVY BREATHING)
You think I have a problem, but I don't.
Okay?
I'm taking my pills
for pain management
to manage my pain.
- Jen, listen
- JEN: No!
I mean, why am I even in pain
in the first place, huh?
(GASPS) Because we went bowling
for Jess's fucking birthday
with martinis in our hands,
and I hurt my back! Which is, like
You hurt your leg, not your back.
JEN: Well, now it's my back! Okay?
'Cause it's all connected, and the body
keeps the score. You ever read?
Oh, you're here, Matthew?
(LAUGHS) You think you have the right
to tell me that I have a problem?
You gave me my first pill!
And, God, look at your new girlfriend!
She's (LAUGHS)
way too young
for you. That's disgusting.
She's my daughter.
- Okay, well then she's too old!
- Okay, Jenny,
we're here for you.
Th-This is for your bir
Yeah, I know who it's for.
You think I'm stupid?
- You all think I'm stupid?
- JESS: Okay, lady,
I think you have sufficiently
roasted everybody
Okay, Jess. Ya know, Bryan?
I have a little secret for you
- Hey, hey, that's enough.
- (OVERLAPPING YELLING)
That's enough.
GROUP (SINGING):
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday t ♪
Jen, this is your surprise
40th birthday party.
(WHISPERING)
♪♪
(HEAVY BREATHING)
- LaVar.
- Oh, shit!
Did Denisha tell you I cum too quick?
I'm workin' on it.
No, I just
I wanted to get that number from you.
I think you said that you knew
somebody who could help me.
Oh, well, I was,
I was just playin'
about the cumin' too quick.
Ya know? (SIGHS)
I'm so embarrassed.
I mean, how could I let
this happen to me?
It's not a type of person
this happens to.
Everyone gets addicted to this shit.
Everyone.
Especially white folks.
(JEN LAUGHS)
- (SNIFFLES)
- Alright.
Nothing could make me feel better.
Oh. Thanks.
Mm-mm. No. (LAUGHS)
- No refined sugar.
- BETH: What do you mean?
AUTUMN: That refined sugar is gonna go
straight into your baby's bloodstream,
- and they're gonna become addicted
- I think,
I think you're fired, if it's cool.
(CALM MUSIC PLAYING)
Yeah, Autumn told me
that it would be normal for me
to shake a lot during a C-section.
That's normal.
I'm bringin' my own pillow.
Do you want a pillow?
- No.
- Just I think we have everything.
Yeah.
(SIGHS)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
- Okay.
- Okay.
(DOOR KNOCKING)
ANN (MUFFLED):
I ordered contactless delivery!
Do you understand what that means?
Amazon Prime for Ann Jones.
It took me, like, 15 minutes
to pick that up,
so I hope it's worth it.
Oh.
Annie.
(FLOOR CREAKING)
(SIGHS) It's so nice to see you.
- Your little face. Hi.
- Yeah.
Why did you come?
I'm having a baby.
- I know you I know that.
- No, I mean,
I'm going, like, right
now to have a baby.
You're in labor right now?
No, I-I have a planned C-section,
but I just wanted to see if there's
any way you would come
to the hospital with me.
Um
I don't
I can't do that. I'm sorry.
- Okay. It's okay. I understand.
- I'm sorry.
I understand. I just
wanted to get to see you
before just in case
or whatever. Alright.
I love you. I'll see you so soon.
♪♪
Hold it. I-I'm gonna come.
- Boy or girl?
- We don't know.
(OPERATIC VOCALIZING)
- Oh, my God. Sorry!
- (ANN IMITATES CAR)
This is not I'm so sorry!
This is not This is,
- this is not what's meant to happen.
- New life.
- We're sorry.
- New life. New life over here!
(BETH AND ANN LAUGH)
(INDISTINCT OPERA SINGING)
- (HOSPITAL NOISE)
- (LOUD CHEWING)
- Is that sandwich good?
- Mm.
Do you know how hungry I am?
But you can't eat, right?
No. Not for 12 hours,
but you eat up. Enjoy.
- Hey, everybody.
- Hi. Good to see you again.
Good to see you as well.
(SIGHS)
- Hi!
- Hi, Dr. Collins. This is my sister, Ann.
- Hi.
- BETH: You know John.
Hi. So, we're gonna take you in
for your spinal block today.
- Are you ready?
- That's, like, the epidural
- or whatever?
- Dr. COLLINS: Mm-hm.
BETH: Okay.
And, uh, this is your anesthesiologist.
(BETH GASPS) Oh, my God! (LAUGHS)
- Trevor?
- Beth?
- (ANN LAUGHS)
- BETH: Come on!
- You're pregnant!
- I know!
- Wow! How are you guys?
- JOHN: Good, man.
What you been up to?
- You're an anesthesiologist?
- TREVOR: Yeah.
Oh, well, I-I studied this
while I was studying MRI
and I kind of found my calling here.
Do you mind if we all
catch up a little later?
- Of course, yeah.
- Oh, yeah, so right.
So, Beth will go in alone.
Um, and then we'll invite you in
once she's, ya know, open.
- Open?
- Ready He means ready.
But, he said "open", like
And you're doing
Oh, that's just how it looks.
It's wild.
If you can imagine, like, a book or a
Oh, yeah. Well, it's, like
(STAMMERS)
John, open your sandwich up real quick.
Yeah. I mean, that's perfect.
I couldn't have asked
for a better sandwich.
- Alright.
- TREVOR: What's that, pulled pork?
BETH: I feel like we can
close it up. Yeah.
This isn't your first birth,
right, Trevor?
TREVOR: No, absolutely not.
No, this is my third.
Yeah. Ya know, it's funny.
I wasn't actually supposed
to be in today,
but Connor got stuck at
a gymnastics meet.
- That's cool.
- ANN: Lucky.
We have a great team
ready for you today,
- so let's go.
- Yeah?
- Okay. (SIGHS)
- ANN: Baby time.
Okay.
- JOHN: Love you. Very, very much.
- I love you.
- Okay.
- We'll be there.
- Okay.
- Yeah, it's gonna be great.
- Okay.
- ANN: You're not a sandwich.
- If I die, throw me in the Hudson.
- Okay.
- Okay, I love you.
- Love you, too.
- Okay. Baby. Baby.
- ANN: Baby time.
JOHN: Sorry about the sandwich.
(INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT)
(ANN GRUNTS)
(ANN SIGHS)
What do you want, a boy or a girl?
Doesn't matter. Long as they play tennis
and basketball and soccer,
and they can do the crossword puzzle.
- (OR CHATTER)
- (MACHINES BEEPING)
♪♪
- BETH: I-I just sit up?
- NURSE: Mm-hm. Right there.
DR. COLLINS: Okay, time out.
Everyone, this is Beth Jones.
She's having a caesarean.
She has no allergies.
NURSE: Family is in the waiting room.
Husband and sister will be coming in.
Hi, Beth. I'm Nurse Camille.
- Hi.
- You're having a caesarean section today.
You're 39 and a half weeks
pregnant. Is that correct?
- Yes.
- NURSE CAMILLE: Okay. Dr. Trevor,
our anesthesiologist,
will administer your spinal block,
and you'll be numb from the chest down.
- Do you understand?
- Yes.
♪♪
How have you been?
Mm, not good.
I'm sorry.
It's really nice you're here.
- (QUIET HOSPITAL CHATTER)
- (MACHINES QUIETLY BEEP)
Ya know, it's okay to be nervous.
I bet Beth is shitting
herself right now.
(SIGHS) Yeah.
I just wanna support her.
Yeah, you will. Just look at her.
I think we have a minute.
Do you wanna meditate?
- Oh, I didn't know you did that.
- I mean, I don't.
I just downloaded this app right now
out of sheer desperation.
Isn't it just closing
your eyes and breathing?
Yeah, I think so.
(TONE PLAYING ON PHONE)
♪♪
DR. COLLINS: Okay, arch your
back like an angry cat.
- It's gonna go in your back.
- Okay. Can someone hold my hand?
DR. COLLINS: Yeah, well, you can put
your arms around my neck if you'd like.
- Alright.
- Oh. Thank you.
You got this, Trev?
TREVOR: Yeah, yeah.
It's just this thing
is scary long. (CHUCKLES)
- It always catches me by surprise.
- What the fuck?
Okay, is it normal to be scared?
(ALL AGREEING)
TREVOR: I'm shakin' like
a leaf back here.
Alright.
Little pinch.
Okay, the mole goes through
the tunnel. (GROANING)
- What?
- TREVOR: Okay. And that did it. Okay.
- That's it?
- DR. COLLINS: Good. Good. Yeah. Good job.
- Okay.
- DR. COLLINS: Okay.
Oh, I'm gonna throw up.
Uh Mm, it's coming!
- (VOMITING)
- (TREVOR WHIMPERING, GAGGING)
DR. COLLINS: The patient has
hyperemesis grav
- D-Doctor?
- (TREVOR VOMITS)
- (DRIPPING)
- (GRUNTING)
It just means that you threw up
a lot during your pregnancy.
That was true, right?
Yeah, just like 10 times a day.
I'm good. I'm fine.
I'm okay. I'm alright.
- BETH: Trevor, are you okay?
- Yeah, just a little
Got a little spit in there.
♪♪
(PAPER CRINKLING)
(SIGHS) Oh, God.
- Alright, let's make good time.
- (SHUTS CAR DOOR)
Alright, I wanna see my lady friend
in Camden Yards who has crabs.
Not those kind.
- (CAR DOOR SHUTS)
- (LAUGHS)
♪♪
I can't believe it.
I'm gonna miss you so much.
You wanna hide in my suitcase?
I don't want you to go.
I know.
Hey, but Baltimore's,
like, four hours, okay?
Four hours away.
You can always come visit me.
- Okay.
- Okay?
Gosh, I wish Annie didn't have school,
and we could all drive you.
It's okay. It's
It'll be better this way.
Yeah. Well, God, you're my
grownup girl. (LAUGHS)
Just please call me when
you get to the dorm, okay?
- Okay, I will.
- JANE: Oh, I love you.
BETH: It's okay, alright?
You're gonna be okay.
You're gonna be okay.
(SNIFFLE) I love you.
Alright? I'll see you at Thanksgiving.
Okay? I'll come back. (SNIFFLE)
(GASPS)
(ANN CRYING)
Okay.
♪♪
(SIGHS)
- (OPENS CAR DOOR)
- We love you.
Drive carefully.
- LEONARD: Alright.
- (STARTS CAR)
- Don't worry about it.
- (SHIFTS GEAR)
- We'll see you guys soon.
- JANE: Alright.
(DISTANT CAR HORN)
NURSE (ECHOING): John?
- John?
- Yeah?
NURSE: And you're the sister?
- I'm the sister.
- NURSE: It's time.
Okay.
Hey, um, I'll be right behind you.
You go ahead.
JOHN: Okay. (SIGHS)
♪♪
(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS)
- (MACHINES BEEPING)
- (SOFT CHATTER)
- Hey.
- Hi, my love.
You look great.
- Yeah?
- How are you?
- I'm good.
- All good?
Yeah, yeah.
Where's Ann?
Uh, she said she'll be here in a minute.
DR. COLLINS: Beth, you're doing great.
Um, Trevor, could you give her
something to relax her abdomen?
TREVOR: Um, sorry,
I don't, I don't know.
- What? What do you mean?
- BETH: What's happening?
DR. COLLINS: Can you give her
something to relax her abdomen?
TREVOR: Wh Wh Uh,
I've, I've, I've never
- I didn't know you could do that. Um.
- Is everything okay?
TREVOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you tr Can you try relaxing
your abdomen, Beth?
- Have you done that before?
- Trevor?
TREVOR: I-I just
I don't know what I have here.
- Um, sodium bicarbonate.
- DR. COLLINS: No, no, no.
- Trevor?
- TREVOR: Wh Why isn't it relaxed?
CONNOR: I'm here, I'm here.
TREVOR: Oh, thank God.
I was this close to screaming, I swear.
CONNOR: (SIGHS) Beth, I'm Connor.
I will be takin' over here, okay?
Oh, my God, thank you.
How was the gymnastics meet?
CONNOR: It was fantastic.
Thank you for asking.
DR. COLLINS: Thank you, Connor.
She needs to relax her abdomen.
Trevor, you can, you can go. It's okay.
No, no, no! I-I want Trevor to stay.
- DR. COLLINS: Why?
- I forgot to make a playlist.
I want this baby to come into the world
to some great music.
We need music. Can you play music?
TREVOR: Beth, John.
You're damn right I will.
Dr. Collins, you handle
all of this baby bullshit.
I'm gonna DJ the fuck outta this birth.
(RUSTLING)
(ELECTRONIC TONES)
(SIGHS) Okay, here we go.
Trev, you're crazy for this one.
ANNOUNCER (OVER SPEAKERS):
DJ Trev. Remix!
(HOUSE MUSIC BLASTING)
No! Is this an original track, Trevor?
- TREVOR: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been workin' on
- I don't wanna hear your music.
New, new stuff for a new person.
(ANNOYING HOUSE MUSIC CONTINUES)
I hate it.
Let's get a different kind
of whole different vibe.
So, like, garage-based drop funk?
No, I wanna feel like a warrior.
Tropical reggae.
Oh, no one saw this one coming.
("I WAS A LOVER"
BY TV ON THE RADIO PLAYING)
I was a lover ♪
DR. COLLINS: Connor, you got this?
Dr. Collins, is the baby okay?
DR. COLLINS: Baby's fine.
- CONNOR: Gimme one second.
- What's going on?
- (MACHINE BEEPING)
- DR. COLLINS: Connor, you got it?
Now that I've cleaned up ♪
Gone legit ♪
I can see clearly ♪
Round hole, round hole ♪
Square peg ♪
(SONG FADES OUT,
DRAMATIC MUSIC FADES IN)
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
Wh-What's happening? I'm scared.
Beth, look at me.
♪♪
- You're doing amazing.
- Yeah?
I'm right here with you.
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
♪♪
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
DR. COLLINS: Okay, that did it.
You got it. She's relaxed.
- (SIGH, SNIFFLE)
- Won't be long now.
We're about to meet our baby.
(SIGHS)
(MOUTHING) I'm ready.
- DR. COLLINS: Here comes your baby!
- (BABY CRYING)
- ALL: Happy birthday!
- (CRYING)
DR. COLLINS: Congratulations!
You have a baby boy.
(CRYING)
It's a boy.
(SOBBING)
We have a son.
You looked at me the whole time, babe.
♪♪
The whole time.
You did great.
- I love you.
- I love you.
(GASPS) We have a boy.
I don't know what to do with a boy.
I'll watch some YouTube videos.
Figure it out.
Oh, my days.
We did it.
That was crackers.
I love you both so much.
Amazing.
Maybe just this moment's just for us.
- Yeah. Okay, T
- Yeah, you two. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's actually
what I came here to say.
- So, enjoy the moment. I'll be
- Yeah. Okay.
I'll turn the music up a bit.
Okay. Thank you.
I was a lover ♪
We have a baby.
Now-Now what?
I don't know.
("ROAD TO NOWHERE"
BY TALKING HEADS PLAYING)
Yeah ♪
We're on a road to nowhere ♪
Come on inside ♪
Takin' that ride to nowhere ♪
We'll take that ride ♪
I'm feelin' okay this mornin' ♪
And you know ♪
We're on a road to paradise ♪
Here we go ♪
Here we go ♪
We're on a road to nowhere ♪
Yeah! ♪
We're on a road to nowhere ♪
We're on a road to nowhere ♪
It's so easy.