Lopez (2016) s02e10 Episode Script

From what I hear this "Valleys" project is brilliant.
And I know that your lead exec, Jason Turner just got fired, but that doesn't mean that the project is dead.
Aw, oh, thanks.
No, it just means it's on life support.
Right, um Usually how this works is if you have a headshot in your car or something, I'll take it and give it to my casting people.
But, if you could just show me to my table.
- Oh, of course.
- But I'd appreciate the Right away, sir.
you know, positive feedback.
Follow me.
â(Trademark)ªâ(Trademark)ª I'm not even hungry.
What am I supposed to do? My show is on life support.
Wait, you heard it's on life support? - That's great news.
- I heard it from the Maître D'.
Don't take it as the gospel.
Yeah, but they're very plugged in.
Yeah, apparently, more plugged in than you are.
Hey, I have a meeting with Rachel today.
She didn't get the ax.
So, we'll see where we stand with her new boss.
How does your sister do this to me? How does having sex with both my TV executives help me? Well, Pfeiffer's actually very good at sex.
So, I'm honestly surprised it didn't work.
Sorry.
Hey, Coco and Baxter Levy, huh? What now? I haven't heard.
Showing up at every bar, club and underground party.
- [sighs.]
- Oh, and apparently, they were caught having sex in a booth at Norms.
Norms? The one on Venice Boulevard or the one on La Cienega? - Sorry? - Ah, it doesn't matter.
I don't go there anymore.
Those two are out of control.
Baxter Levy, what a frickin' moron that guy is.
And Coco, of all people.
I thought her and I were on the same page! You were at the meeting.
You know what? It's gonna be okay.
George, just go relax and have fun in Costa Rica.
I'm not going to Costa Rica.
- What? Why? - Because Lori and I mutually agreed to go our own separate ways.
George, you don't mutually break-up with a billionaire.
Yeah, that's right, she left me.
But, you know, I didn't stop her.
Ohh [whispers.]
Here, I got that for you.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- Yeah.
- I've got other looks, too.
Okay, the three branches are Executive, Legislative and Judicial? Excellent! Manolo, you're gonna ace this GED test.
Well, it helps having the smartest teacher ever.
[laughing.]
Chandra and I used to laugh like that, but not anymore 'cause she's marrying another man, dammit.
Come on, Maronzio, you still moping around that? Listen, like my grandmother used to say.
This is in Spanish.
Cuando cierran unas piernas otras abriren.
Means, when one pair of legs closes, another pair opens up.
All right, you need to get over it.
It's no good, George.
I'm never gonna find anyone as good as Chandra.
Look at her.
Look at this angel.
Oh, yeah, she's beautiful, damn.
You had some of that? What, did you use to be rich or something? - No.
- Maybe her mom, like, made her clothes? Didn't make 'em good and kids made fun of her.
Or maybe she just got teased for being fine at a young age? Or maybe she's got that thing where she thinks she's fat - but she's skinny.
- Body dysmorphia.
Maronzio probably has that but the opposite.
That's probably why he thought he could do better.
- That's true.
- What are you packin' down there? Y'all don't understand, we had something beautiful.
- And now it's gone.
- Oh, yeah, it's gone.
'Cause you are never gonna get something like that.
- Uh, never.
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
- She be, like, whoa.
So, I should just give up? Get used to having nobody, having nothing? No! You can't give up! I usually don't disagree with George, but in matters of the heart, sometimes I think he could be a little shortsighted.
This spoken by a blind man.
Sweetheart, if you saw the picture, though.
Bro, you need to try to get her back.
It may only be one out of 100 chance, but still, that's one percent.
Don't go bragging about that, that's a easy one.
And then if we're talking probabilities, she's either gonna say yes or no.
So, you still got a 50% chance.
Isn't that right, Teach? Well, technically You're right, Manolo, I'm not giving up.
What'd you get that boy all riled up for? You know that fine bitch is just gonna curb him again.
[Rachel on phone.]
Yes, of course.
Of course, yeah.
Come in.
Okay, gotta go.
[hangs up phone.]
So, what is going on with "Valleys"? You're still gonna fight for it, right? Hey, the only thing I'm fighting for is my job.
I got a new boss, Greg Shupp.
Wasn't that guy fired from Comedy Central? Oh, and then fired as the VP of Original Programming at Xbox? That's him.
Get me a meeting.
Fine.
By the way, keep Pfeiffer away from me.
You got it.
Has she been asking about me? No, screw it.
Keep her away from me.
Hey, I'm trying to keep her away from me, too.
She keeps calling but I am not answering.
Good, 'cause she's poison.
No kidding.
Sweet poison Like antifreeze.
Hmm? It's a plot point from a show I developed last season.
Oh, I know, I read it.
Very compelling.
You did a great job with the Lopez Grill.
Now, let's see if you can move other product, okay? All right, okay.
[soundstage bell rings.]
[woman.]
Okay, people, we're going in five, four, three Hey, what's up? I'm here Hey, what's up? Today, I'm here to tell you about the Burger Dogger.
It's for people who like their hamburgers shaped like a hot dog.
Mmm, I could sure go for one of those right now.
Um, imagine how much you can save if you didn't have to go out and buy a burger.
- Hector - Or a dog.
Hector, do the CTA.
Call to Action.
So, call now and you can start Burger Doggering right away.
Okay, that thing isn't moving.
And it's not the product.
Janelle sold 50, 000 in an hour.
We need a new plan.
The network brought in a new guy, Greg Shupp.
So, let's see where we stand with him.
Wait a minute, what are you so worried about? Thought you said he was a big fan of mine.
That's just something you say.
All right, check out the signature on the bottom.
That makes it worth $1,000 more.
I mean, I almost felt stupid for buying it.
No, come on, it's not stupid, Olly, it's not stupid.
Right? My business manager was so mad at me.
But collectible footwear is a solid investment.
Anyway, you guys aren't here to look at my sneakers.
Oh, but we're so glad we did.
- Absolutely, it's a fascinating world.
- Yeah.
[Olly.]
Actually, we did wanna talk to you about "Valleys.
" And just see if you're happy with the script or Yeah, I love it, it's perfect.
Okay, because if you had any notes, any notes.
We could tweak it.
No, no, I wouldn't change a thing.
- You hear that, Olly? - Mm-hmm.
That's insane, no notes, wow.
- [chuckling.]
- Okay, okay.
I'm following your eyes to my old school Reeboks.
Yeah, there is quite a story behind these kicks, right? Everybody was all Air Jordans at the time.
And don't get me wrong, those were game changers.
- You see the red stitching? - Yeah.
Oh, my God, that was a disaster.
What are you talking about? He was smiling the whole time.
Mostly when he was talking about his shoe collection, but when he was talking about "Valleys" too, he was smiling.
Nobody smiles when they're about to greenlight a show.
They're way too terrified.
What are you talking about? Didn't you hear him? No notes! No notes! That's the kiss of death.
What? No notes is the kiss of death? All these guys, they want their fingerprints all over everything.
So, no notes either means he didn't read the script, or he doesn't give a damn about the script.
Probably both.
That dork.
So, what do we do now? Are we screwed? Not yet.
He only wants to kill "Valleys" because if it works, it doesn't do him any good.
He doesn't get the credit for it.
But he has to have a good reason to kill it, otherwise he looks like a racist.
Or because we have Coco, transphobic.
So, we just gotta make sure we don't give him that reason, okay? No drama, no budget issues, no nothing.
All right, take it easy, you look a little overwhelmed.
- [sighs.]
- Oh, look, shoes.
Oh, yeah, you looking for the dipshit? Third door on the left.
I know what we have to do.
We have to keep the ball rolling.
I'm gonna get the network to commit to a table reading.
Yeah, I think that's perfect.
Because once they hear it, they're gonna love it, and they'll be hooked.
- Uh-oh, here comes trouble.
- What do you mean? Legal and Human Resources never show up to pat you on the back and tell you everything's going great.
- Hi.
- George Camilla, from Human Resources.
Hey, what's happening, Camilla from Human Resources? That sounds like you harvest organs on the side.
[laughs.]
That joke's okay, right? Legal will allow it.
So, we have an issue.
Coco has missed several publicity sessions.
As well as her medical exam.
Oh, I think it's kind of early in the whole thing, right? All this stuff can be rescheduled, right, Olly? - Absolutely.
- Yeah.
There are also rumors of possible drug use and abuse.
Legal has to make sure if Coco is a reasonable risk to even consider production.
You've seen the stories.
Someone needs to talk to Coco and get her in line.
Mm-hmm, I agree.
And that someone needs to be you.
Okay, come on, why do I have to talk to Coco? Well, Coco trusts you.
Coco sees you as a friend.
And the studio is not fully indemnified.
If anyone from the network broached these issues, we'd be vulnerable to a lawsuit.
I mean, seriously, now you got me talking to everybody.
I didn't wanna talk to anybody! So, if you prefer, we can just cancel the show.
No, we don't have to do that.
We'll have a conversation.
Everything okay? - I heard there's a problem.
- Well, apparently No-no, no-no, apparently, we're all on the same page.
It's rare that that happens, but it feels good, doesn't it? Yeah, So you don't need to worry about anything, Greg.
Just worry about that shoe collection and building it and keeping it bright and white.
[chuckling.]
Ah-ha-ha You don't worry about my sneakers.
You worry about this show.
How'd you hear about this place? I did a great review for them on Holla.
So, I'm sort of a celebrity around here now, so Congratulations on your well-earned success.
Well, congratulations on you keeping your fine figure.
And, if I might say That behind can get six stars, holler, okay? - At the ass.
- You are stupid.
Maronzio, you know what? Despite what I said earlier, I really hope we can stay friends.
Of course, baby, we have history.
- Kids, someday grandkids.
- Watch your mouth.
But we'll always be in each other's lives.
I wish you nothing but happiness.
Okay, good, I'm glad because - Dwayne thought you were gonna - Uh, no-no-no-no.
No, no more talk of Dwayne, all right? You know what? My good man! Some prestidigitation for the lady.
Uh! Huh?! What? [laughing.]
I see why you won "America's Got Talent.
" Come here, let me help you out.
Thank you, sir.
Oh, and would you mind checking on the status of my paella? You don't even know what that is.
- [line ringing.]
- Oh, come on, Coco.
Damn! She's still not answering her phone.
I'm not even sure what I'm gonna say to her.
This would be a lot easier over drinks.
What the hell is he wearing? Tired of spending all that time peeling a hard-boiled egg? Well, problem solved.
With the Eggs-It! - All you have to - [clattering to floor.]
Eggs-It? What the hell is that? All you have to do is load the device All you [clatters to floor.]
Baby, you're so lucky you can't see this.
And chop it [George.]
Yeah, listen, I know you don't drink, man, but try this.
What happened, dude, you were killing it.
Now you can't sell nothing? To be honest, I don't know, G.
I was doing great with your grills, but then I got a cold streak.
Okay, I couldn't sell any Sock It To Me's either.
Sock It To Me? I think it helps you pull your socks up faster or more accurately, I don't know.
Anyway, Lori lost faith in me.
She's not gonna use me anymore.
Damn, I'm sorry, Hector, that sucks.
Yeah, no, I wish I could just sell your grills.
I mean, they actually do char evenly, it's amazing.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
You know what? You lit up, you You could only sell things that you believe in.
You're like me, that's the way I am.
You're right.
Hey, you think you can talk to Lori for me? Get me one more chance? Uh, you know, uh, Lori and I broke up mutual, you know Really?! Whoo, she's a unicorn.
How you let that one get away? Uh, mm, ahh Uh, mmm All right, fine, listen, I'll talk to her.
You know, why not? I talk to everybody else.
You didn't wait for me.
[man.]
GVN auditions, round seven.
[woman.]
There's got to be a better way.
[woman 2.]
There's gotta be a better way.
[man.]
There's gotta, gotta, gotta be a better way! Oh, don't try to make it your own.
Hey - Hi.
- George? Hi.
- You got a second? - We're not doing this, are we? No, no, this isn't about us.
This is about, uh, Hector.
He wanted me to ask you to give him another shot.
George, I've been doing this a long time, and when a seller loses his confidence, there's no coming back.
Yeah, but, I don't think that's the case.
I think, you know, Hector's got this quirk that he can only sell things he believes in.
Well, this isn't the place for him then.
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
- Oh.
[both chuckle.]
Uh, do you really think it's that? Yeah, I mean, he's an earnest kid.
I think he's too young to be jaded.
All right.
You talked me into it.
Oh, okay, thanks, I appreciate that.
Wow, look at us, huh? Two adults having a civil, post break-up conversation.
That's new territory for me.
- Not for me.
- Oh.
Uh, so how is your show going? Oh, it's going Uh, you know, not good.
You know, Coco's partying all the time.
She's missing appointments and putting, like, the whole show in jeopardy.
Oh.
Well, there's no time to put her in detox.
You know, I manufacture an energy drink that we claim has a lot of medicinal properties.
Now the FDA won't let us sell it anymore.
So, I could have them load a pallet of it in the back of your car if you'd like.
Yeah, all right, I appreciate that.
And Hector too.
That's nice, thanks.
- Oh, and George? - Hmm? In my experience, these kind of issues are always about something else.
You just need to find out what.
I appreciate that.
All right, thanks.
There you are.
You've been ignoring my calls all day.
Yeah, well, some people get the hint.
I don't wanna talk to you.
Is that woke enough for you? What did I do? It's not what you did.
It's who you did.
And the answer is everyone.
Now because of you, "Valleys" might be dead.
Oh, come on.
No, you blew into town like you always do.
I take care of you like an idiot.
And then you find some way to mess things up for me.
Well, you're just blaming me like you always do for your sad, pathetic life.
It should be obvious by now, but if it isn't, you're fired.
â(Trademark)ªâ(Trademark)ª And give me back my shampoo! Hey, Olly, it's George.
Just checking in.
I'm out here looking for Coco.
If you hear anything new about "Valleys", give me a call, all right? Or text me, bye.
[music playing.]
Hey, oh, uh, Miss? George Lopez? - Oh, uh, right, okay.
- [shutter clicks.]
Oh, you're on the DL.
No well, kind of.
I'm looking for a friend of mine, Coco.
Coco at the bar? Or Coco in the cage? I'ma start at the bar.
She's over there, boo.
[shutter clicking rapidly.]
Hey, there's my Coco.
Drinking ah-hah.
- How did you find me? - Well.
I looked up transgender hangouts on Holla.
And this is the third one I've been to and by far, the nicest one.
So, how'd you get stuck with this job? Well, you know, the network is deathly afraid of you.
So, they had a meeting and they chose me, who's not that afraid of you.
I love it when the network is afraid of me.
Yes, I know.
And it can be used to an advantage, but I don't think in this case.
In this case, may I speak freely? You're destroying a golden opportunity.
- What's going on with you? - What's going on? Well, Coco realized that Coco had no interest in being exploited like some transgender sideshow.
Okay, Coco, listen, nobody's exploiting you.
Listen, we had that meeting.
We agreed that we were gonna do this together.
- I need you.
- What I need is another drink! Come on.
Oh, don't look at me like that.
You have no idea what I go through every day.
You know what? I don't.
And I'm not even gonna pretend that I do because I don't.
But, listen, I think I know what's going on here, all right.
It's called self-sabotage.
And I know because I'm kind of an expert.
So, maybe you're afraid of succeeding or afraid of failing.
But whatever the reason is, you're looking for any excuse to pack it in.
You're destroying a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
It's not like TV is flooded with transgender women.
- No.
- Everybody is going to be judging me.
I know, Coco, it's not flooded with transgender women or flooded with Latinos, okay? And people judge, that's our world.
And everybody's got baggage.
But you gotta decide how much you can carry and you know, if you think it's worth the trip.
You're very good with women, George.
I'm not, by the way.
Lori and I, we broke up.
Mutually agreed upon.
- No, she left me.
- So, that's it? You're not gonna fight for her? Fight for her and then, what, we're happy? Or we're not happy? See? Self-sabotage.
You know, I've been the man.
I've been the woman.
I've seen relationships from all sides.
They don't just work out.
You gotta make them work.
You're right.
Both of you are right.
You're right.
I think I'm gonna switch over to coffee now.
Good, good.
[clears throat.]
After I, uh, freshen up.
Yeah, you look like you've been up for a little while.
So, uh, I couldn't help but overhear you giving Coco some advice.
Can we talk George? Yeah, why not, bartender? [deep voice.]
Bartender! So, skinny-dip in the hot tub? Maronzio, stop it.
I only agreed to go out with you because we got kids.
But, when are you gonna get it through your head? I'm getting married.
Maybe you are, maybe you're not.
- No, I am.
- Maybe.
Uh, you know what, uh Okay, I tried to be nice.
But, clearly, that's not working.
This is the last time I'm gonna say this.
I do not love you anymore.
Good, that's the last time I'm gonna talk about it.
Now, can we hit the hot tub? [laughing.]
Oh, my God Okay, you win.
- Hot tub? - Let's go to the hot tub.
Hot tub! Are you gonna get a swimsuit?! You don't need a swimsuit! Shit.
Okay, just remove the fourth stipulation and then this should be fine.
And then I'll sign it when we're done with it.
[knocking.]
Uh, can you give us the room, Steven? Yeah, thanks Steven.
George, what are you doing here? I already told you I'm giving Hector his job back.
Yes, I know, thank you.
But I'm not here for Hector, okay? I'm here for you, Lori.
And I'm I'm here for me.
Can I sit down? - Yes, please.
- Okay, listen Lori, I I'm a selfish person, okay, I'm one-sided.
And you're selfish and one-sided.
But, I think that if we try, we can make it work.
What does "make it work" even mean? I don't know.
Coco said it.
And Coco knows because Coco's been a man and a woman.
That's crazy, like, men are from Mars and women are from Venus? She's from, like, both planets.
She's from Barstow, I know all about her.
I just don't wanna be dragged into some emotional quagmire.
I'm not trying to drag you Why can't we just have fun? Why can't we just have sex? Yeah exactly, uh That's what I mean, I got long-winded but that was really what I was trying to say, baby.
I missed you.
I'm just gonna go lay down.
All right, I'll call you later on, Lori.
[phone ringer playing.]
Hello? George, great news.
Coco showed up for her medical.
Sober and on time.
Nice work.
Oh, man, Olly, that's great.
So, what does that mean? "Valleys" is back on track? Yup! Unless the table read tanks.
And it's tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow.
Hello?