Loudermilk (2017) s02e10 Episode Script

1 When my dad died, I couldn't even think about what life would be like without him.
Felix asked me to join them for some upcoming gigs.
- In what capacity? - As part of the band.
What's that? On the University of Washington.
- Yeah, I got in.
- Really? You and my father, last year, had JACK: Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
Come on! Not here.
Yes, you were with your father, and you Mmm-hmm.
Clyde.
This is your brother.
That's why I was hoping to get some help from your dad.
I might have some cash stashed away for emergencies or in case of a home invasion.
Look, I'm sorry if you don't think I was the greatest dad in the world when you were a kid, but get over it.
'Cause until I get the kinks worked out in my time machine, there is nothing we can do about it.
Is everything okay, Loudermilk? My dad died.
[GRIN'S WHITE LIES PLAYS.]
This ain't Fair, but I fear I traveled here alone 'cause of you Hey.
Hey.
Shit-for-brains! I know what I still don't What the fuck is this? Jesus, dude.
You hear of knocking? Dude? Don't you call me dude.
I'm the dude around here.
Yeah, that's what I just called you.
Dude.
- Whose is this? - Mine.
Don't lie to me.
If I were gonna lie, why would that be the lie? Don't be a smart-ass, smart-ass.
What the hell are you thinking? I'm thinking I need to hide it better next time.
Come on, Sammy.
Are you that far gone that you're hitting this shit? Dad, it's just a little weed.
Just weed? I don't know a lot about drugs, but I do know this Once you start hittin' the J's, buddy-boy, nine times outta ten, it don't end well.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Don't you "oh-for-fuck's-sake" me.
You're better than this, Sammy.
Now, I-I know things have been hard on you lately, what with your mother and me trying to work things out, - and, uh - Your girlfriend? No, no, no, no.
Heidi has got nothing to do with this.
Well, very little.
Come on, Sammy.
All I'm saying is, if you ever get down, I mean really down, and you need someone to talk to, you know they have people at school for that kind of stuff, right? Yeah, the, uh the lunch ladies are always up for a rap session.
There you go! And if I ever find this stuff again, ever, you're gonna have to find someplace else to live.
End of story.
All over.
Got it? - Yeah, I got it.
- Good.
'Cause in the Loudermilk household, we don't light up this fucking hippie shit.
In the Loudermilk household, we drink.
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S STAND ON THE HORIZON PLAYS.]
This is it.
We'll paint it and throw down some new carpet.
I'll need the first and last month's to get you in here.
Utilities are included.
Neighbors are quiet.
Neighborhood, not so much.
What do ya think? [SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE.]
Mmm.
So, have you had any further thoughts about the service? Oh, I don't know, Mike.
Just just do your standard stuff, you know.
"All rise.
" "Does anybody here object?" Whatever you do.
I'll work on something.
Did your father have any favorite verses? Like songs? Biblical verses.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Um, no.
How about songs, then? No.
Although he once said that Alone Again Naturally was the only rock song he could stand.
I assume you'll be saying a few words, yeah? Oh, no.
Mmm-mmm.
Not me.
- Why not? - That's your department.
Yes, but he was your father.
No.
Okay.
It's up to you.
Right.
And I said no.
Fine.
Think it over.
I did.
Before I said no.
Of course.
These are the times that try men's souls.
Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
All right, then I guess we're all set here.
Okay.
Hey, thanks, Mike.
I really appreciate this.
All set except for the payment.
We accept everything, check, cash, credit card, PayPal, Venmo.
What are you, Catholic Etsy? I thought you were doing this 'cause you felt bad for me.
While I am sympathetic with you, Sam, I'm afraid it's not free sympathy.
I'll get you a check.
"And the Lord said, 'Rake it-eth in whilst thou can.
'" [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
CLAIRE: How's it going? Fine, I guess.
Tough, huh? Well, it's something.
Hmm.
Notice you've been late to a lot of meetings lately.
What's the deal with that? Nothing.
Yeah, for an addict, you're a terrible liar.
Fine.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
You know I've been living here for a while, right? Yes, I'm acutely aware.
And Ben's back now.
Mmm-hmm.
So I was thinking it might be time I get my own place.
Not, like, right away.
Maybe in, like, a couple weeks.
I don't know.
You think that's a good idea? What do you mean? Well, you're still in recovery.
So are you.
Yeah.
I'm not moving out.
So the only thing keeping me sober is that I'm living with you? I-I'm living with you, too.
It goes both ways.
You're saying I'm keeping you sober? No.
Fuck, no.
Look, I don't want to start a fight, okay? I'm just trying to raise the point that if you want to go off and be by yourself, that's a tough way to stay clean.
I have a job.
I am in a band.
I'm going to school.
It's time to move on.
All right.
Fine.
You know, if it goes off the rails, just don't say I didn't warn you.
Why do you always have to be such an asshole? Look, I just said I didn't want to start a fight, okay? Well, I'll be sad to see her go.
I'm gonna go measure for curtains.
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
You're always late.
Yeah, well, I'm not that sorry.
So, you excited about the show? Yeah.
I mean, I'm totally nervous, but, yeah.
You? I'm oddly calm.
Which is making me super-nervous.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, um, Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon had a ritual.
- Yeah? - After every Sonic show, they'd get together and talk about what worked, what didn't.
That's how they got so tight so fast.
Makes sense.
So are you gonna regroup with Sig after the show? Actually, I thought you and me should do the post-show.
Me? But Sig's the lead guitarist.
You guys write all your songs together.
Yeah, that's why I need an outside opinion.
You just made it weird.
- It's not weird.
- It just got super-weird.
Seriously.
No.
But I thought you cared about the band.
I do, but you're treating me like I'm some dumb blonde, and honestly, I've got enough shit going on without you hitting on me.
No offense, but you're the last thing I need right now.
I don't believe that.
Come on.
[SIGHS.]
Isn't it obvious that it's not in the cards for us? Well, I-I think our souls are in sync.
That's really sweet, but it's probably better as a lyric than as a sentiment.
Well, the best lyrics are the true ones.
There you go again.
LOUDERMILK: All right, let's address the elephant in the room.
Yes, my dad died.
No, I don't want to talk about it.
I don't want to share.
I don't want a hug.
Cloud.
Classic technique Avoidance.
Oh, my God.
Are you reading that workbook again? Actually, I've got it all memorized.
In fact, I think I could probably teach one of those courses now.
You can teach me any time you want.
Lesson one, you're disgusting.
Can May I? If you guys are done talking about your daddy issues, um, I've got something I'd like to share with the group.
Yes, thank you.
Go ahead.
Uh, so, because she's seen how hard I've been working at staying clean, my ex has agreed to, uh, let my kids stay with me next weekend.
- All right.
- Nice.
Hold on.
All nine kids? I've got 10.
I thought you said you had nine kids.
I miscounted.
- You did what? - Okay, I miscounted my kids.
Does that make me a bad dad? Yes.
So, anyway, my middle son, Cal Callum, it's his eighth birthday, but all the kids are gonna want presents, and I'm broke.
Why would they all expect presents? Court rulings and stuff like that.
I haven't been able to get my kids presents for years, and it's it's payback time.
Wait a second.
Court rulings? Why would any court give a shit about whether you buy your kids presents? Fuck you, you little fuck.
I got lots of bills, and I got no cash.
Fuck you.
Just for that, you don't get to sign my new cast.
I say to hell with 'em all, to spoiled millennials.
I never got a birthday present in my life, and I turned out just fine.
Christ.
Okay, well, maybe I can get something at Goodwill.
Maybe they won't even want gifts.
Maybe they just want to spend some time with their dad.
That's very sweet and everything, but they gonna want some shit, for real.
Hell, yeah, they're gonna want some gifts.
Good ones.
Yeah.
You better come with a shitload of stuff, man.
Those kids haven't been around you for a long time.
They will turn on you.
Rug rats become thug rats right quick, son.
TONY: You know what? I might be able to help you out.
My cousin Lino works in the shipping department at Hasbro.
I'll have him send out a couple of boxes of stuff.
No shit? He can do that? Easy.
Consider it done.
You sure you don't wanna come along, you know, just to show some support? I can't do funerals, Ben.
They're too depressing, y'know? [MOCK DEEP VOICE.]
Oh, really? Funerals are depressing? I had no idea.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Come on, it's not supposed to be Burning Man.
I know, but it's a frickin' death ceremony.
Okay, well Oh, there he is.
Uh, Claire's not coming to the funeral.
I didn't expect her to go to the funeral.
- You didn't? - No.
Well, I would go with you guys.
It's just It's the same church where my dad had his service.
And I've Don't worry about it.
Seriously.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, uh, well, we should probably get going.
Yeah, let's go.
Thank you very much.
[ORGAN PLAYS.]
Hi.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
He was a wonderful, wonderful man.
Yes, he was.
Very nice, Very genuine, very Very? - Sensual.
- Okay.
I mean, you should know what an enthusiastic lover your father was.
Actually, I don't think I should know that.
I mean, most men his age don't do what he did.
Like what? Uh, well, I don't think a funeral is the right place to Oh, no, no, no.
I think it's fine.
Memories of the deceased and all.
Are you fucking kidding me? Come here.
No, no, I'm just trying to help the lady grieve.
Well, help her grieve away from me, okay? Oh, your dad was very open with the human body.
Uh, the line is starting to back up now, so maybe we'll just It was as though he spoke some sort of secret language.
- Vaginese? - [CHUCKLES.]
- You're a card.
What's your name? - Hi.
- Edward.
- Thanks for coming.
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh.
Um Thank you.
About your dad.
It's just it's too bad that Clyde won't ever get to know his real father.
Hmm.
I-I guess eventually Clyde will start to think that you're his dad.
No, he'll know that I'm his brother.
Yeah, but after a while, he might start to think that you're his father.
I'll be very clear that I'm his brother.
Yeah, but little kids, they get confused.
I'm on it.
We're here today to celebrate the life of John David Loudermilk Jack to his friends.
I didn't know Jack well.
In fact, I only met him once.
But he was not a fan of rock music.
I've heard that, in fact, there was only one song that he could stand.
In the words of Gilbert O'Sullivan, "In a little while fr " Okay, okay, no.
Uh, just Let let me do it.
- Uh - Let me do it.
Okay, um, it's not like I stayed up all night putting something together.
Why not? - Um - Yep.
Jack's son, Samuel, would like to say a few words.
Okay.
Thank you all for coming out.
It means a lot more to me than I thought it would.
I'm just gonna say it.
My dad was an asshole.
He he was selfish, he was thoughtless, he was irresponsible.
He talked too much, and he listened too little, if he listened at all.
But anybody who ever knew him when he was young would always talk about what an upstanding and responsible kid he was.
He was an altar boy and a paperboy.
He was an Eagle Scout.
He was a straight-A student.
I was none of those things, which disappointed him greatly.
I never sniffed the honor roll, and I couldn't hack Webelos.
I-I-I pretty much screwed up every good thing that got sent my way till I was well into my 40s.
But in the big picture, I think, um Jack and I, we're really the same asshole, just in an inverse kind of way.
Um You know, I had the luxury of screwing up early on, so I-I I saw the pain that I was causing people, and I still had time to try to do better.
Whereas, my dad, he You know, he never disappointed anybody as a kid, so he never learned any lessons.
So, as an adult, Jack went the other way.
And I got to tell you, it's it's, uh it's easier to be a bad boy than a good boy.
It's a lot more fun, too.
The last time I saw him, he seemed like he was changing.
Like he was trying to get back to the the good boy, you know.
And I see faces of people who who have my back the same way that I have their back.
We we we may not like each other all the time.
We may not stand each other.
But we do love each other.
[WHISPERING.]
He's talking about me.
You told me your father died.
Did I? And it's important to remember that that's the reason, I think, that we're here.
To to love and and support the people in our lives.
No matter what.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Okay, Cloud, come on.
- [SOBS.]
- Okay.
All right.
It's okay.
It's all right.
It's gonna be okay.
[SNIFFLES.]
Thanks.
Sam.
I believe this is yours.
Okay.
Uh, what am I supposed to do with this? People will usually scatter the ashes in a place that was significant to the deceased.
You know any good strip clubs nearby? [CHUCKLES, BREATHES DEEPLY.]
Those things you said today, Sam, they were very thoughtful, if a little crude.
Thanks.
Do you mind locking up the meeting room? I've got to finish up here.
No, I don't mind.
Maloney's on 5th Street.
Maloney's on 5th Street.
Okay.
This stuff is straight from Hasbro's main facility back east.
Your kids are gonna love it.
I cannot thank you enough, Tony.
- No problem.
- It's like Loudermilk says - We're watching out for each other.
- Yep.
Oh, my God, this is great! Here you go.
No way! Oh! My kids are gonna love this, man.
Are you serious? Look at this.
Oh, man! What what the Where where's the shit? What shit? The the toys.
There's nothing in here but bubble wrap.
Those are the toys.
The bubble wrap is the toys? Kids love bubble wrap.
They can pop that shit for hours.
- Are you fucking serious? - [WRAP POPPING.]
Your cousin works at Hasbro, and this is the best he can do? He just works in the shipping department.
And he can't put one actual toy in there? What, and steal from his employer? What do you think, my cousin's a thief? Motherfucker, man.
This ain't gonna do anything for me! - [POPPING CONTINUES.]
- Give me that! - This is for my kids.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
You never asked me how it ended.
Memphis.
Correct.
See, the thing was, uh, Memphis and I, we were great as long as we were drinking or doing drugs or just Yeah, and then you couldn't eventually keep up with her, and that's what I figured.
Oh, no, no, no.
That was not the case at all.
I-I could've kept up with her until it killed me.
Man, I would have done anything to keep her.
And, uh, I did.
So, what happened? [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
So So, uh, one day, I wake up, and she's crying, and I'm like, "What's wrong?" And she wouldn't tell me what's wrong all day, and, um, we didn't drink that day.
And the the next day, we stayed clean.
And then the third day, it's like, you know, we were sober, and it was like we were like real people, you know.
It felt like a real relationship.
And I thought to myself, "Maybe this is it.
May "Maybe this has a shot.
" And that's when she told me that she's in love with someone else.
Ah, shit.
[SIGHS.]
You.
No.
Uh-uh.
No.
No fucking way.
I'm not dealing with this shit right now.
Not today.
Sam.
Look, this is the perfect day to deal with some real shit.
Okay? This is as real as it gets.
What are you talking about? This isn't real.
How is this real? Huh? Me and Memphis? That's over.
I could never be with her again.
Why? Uh, because you married her and I would never fuck my best friend's wife.
Ex-wife.
She's an alcoholic.
So are you.
Yeah, I am, but I'm working on it.
So is she.
No, three days sober is not fucking working on it.
Sam She told me that, uh that losing you was the biggest mistake of her life.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, and then she went to rehab.
She's been sober eight months.
Memphis is eight months clean? Yeah.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
She's doing really great.
But, man I came here to ask you to forgive me.
That was really selfish.
I should have just asked you to forgive her.
Thanks a lot for coming today.
No worries.
I'm glad I did.
You've been there for me.
I figured I should be there for you.
This is fucking nerve-wracking.
Hey, you're gonna do great.
Really? I got no rhythm.
Oh, I know.
I-I meant with your new place.
Y-You're you're right to move out.
I think you're ready.
Thanks, Loudermilk.
Okay, so, you know, just remember here One, two, three, four.
One, two, three.
If Linda McCartney can do it, then so can you.
- Who's Linda McCartney? - One - Good luck.
- What? Hey.
Uh We're the Ben Rogers Band, and this is our music.
[APPLAUSE.]
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS.]
I got street cred Gunpowder-gray eyes and a stolen purse Six pounds of state jewelry on my ankles and wrists I've renewed the old family curse A spider-web windshield They'll never let my ass past the borderline I'm just looking for a place to spend the rest of my cents Before the jig is up and I can go home And it's a hard bargain we drive We ain't livin' We're just trying to survive Knocked out, loaded And let down Vanished in the air And we're steady going nowhere - [CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY.]
- [WRAP POPPING.]
Kids! Go back to bed! BOY: No, Daddy! We're playing with our toy! Ah, come on! I'm trying to get ten more minutes of sleep.
[POPPING CONTINUES, LAUGHTER.]
GIRL: Thanks, Dad.
You're the best.
- My turn! My turn! - No! My turn! - My turn! My turn! - [LAUGHTER.]
- My turn! - Hey! Don't pop all of it! Save some of 'em.
Do any of you know how to make coffee? LOUDERMILK: Hey.
Never told you last night how great you were.
Thanks, man.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Well, I'm out.
Okay.
Oh, uh, Loudermilk, I wanted to give you something for all your help.
What? Yeah, I ordered it a while back.
You didn't have to do that.
It's a nine-month chip.
I knew you could do it.
Again.
I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of you.
Okay, hug's over.
- Oh.
- Hug's over.
Okay, um See ya.
Don't be a stranger.
I won't.
[LOCK DISENGAGES.]
Did [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Ben, can you get that! BEN: Shitter! [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Oh, hey.
- I can't.
- You can't what? I can't.
I can't do it anymore.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wh It's either you or the fire station.
Wait a second.
No, no, no, no.
- Your choice! - Hey! - I'm so sorry.
- [CLYDE FUSSING.]
- Come on, let's go.
- Bye, Clyde.
Come on.
[SIGHS.]
[CLYDE FUSSING.]
Motherfucker.
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S STAND ON THE HORIZON PLAYS.]
Oh, the North Sea sings Won't you come to me, baby? Oh, won't you come to me? Oh, the North Sea sings Won't you come to me, baby? Oh, won't you come to me? Oh, the North Sea sings Won't you come to me, baby? Oh, the North Sea's singing Oh, won't you come to me? Oh, the North Sea sings Won't you come to me, baby? The North Sea's singing Oh, won't you come to me? Oh, the North Sea sings Won't you come to me, baby? Oh, the North Sea's singing Oh, won't you come to