Never Have I Ever (2020) s02e10 Episode Script

1
Devi sat in her room,
fretting and fidgeting
over the drive-by she'd had
with Paxton earlier that evening.
First, he had called her "pal."
Hey, pal.
Then he walked right past her
like she was gathering
signatures for Greenpeace.
What did it mean?
Was Paxton actually not into her at all,
and would he never
again show up at her
Hey. You should tell your mom that
she needs to clean the gutters.
I think there's an Amazon
delivery drone stuck in there.
- Whoa, what are you doing?
- What do you mean?
You totally walked
right by me at the play.
You didn't even slow your
pace out of politeness!
Sorry, we were in a hurry.
Trent's mom needed the car
to get to her job as an
illusionist at The Magic Castle.
Okay, but you also called me "pal."
As far as I know,
pals don't creep through
other pal's windows to hook up.
Are you embarrassed of me?
No, of course not.
But if I'm being honest,
I'm not really a PDA guy,
and I think labels are
just kinda cheesy, you know?
I guess.
And it's kinda nice that we save
that stuff for when we're in private.
That cool?
I think any reasonable
adult watching this
knows that Paxton's embarrassed of her.
Unfortunately, when you've
been romantically unsuccessful
for as long as Devi has,
you'll take what you can get.
Yeah, sure.
- Damn!
- Whoa!
I don't know.
Thanks, El, for bringing
all these dresses over,
but it's not very utilitarian.
Like where do I put my TI-84?
In a drawer at home.
You have to look snatched for
when you get Cricket Queen,
which you definitely will,
B-T-dubs. Everyone's voting for you.
You think so?
I know so. Right, Devi?
Guys, I need to tell you something.
I think I might be sort of
dating Paxton?
What?
Where did that even come from?
I was trying something. Forget it.
What do you mean "sort of dating"?
Paxton came through my window
two nights in a row to make out.
How are we just hearing this?
You should've texted us
right after! Or during!
I know, but I think maybe
something's not great about it.
Last night, he came over
and gave me this whole speech
about how he's not into labels or PDA.
Are you worried that
he's ashamed of you?
But he's dated you publicly before.
Devi thought back to her
brief relationship with Paxton
and noticed a few things
she hadn't seen before.
Oh, you mean a lot to me too, bro.
Oh my God. I don't think he called
me his girlfriend then either.
I didn't notice because I was
busy two-timing him with Ben!
There's a very easy way to solve this.
The dance is on Saturday.
Every couple's going.
So if he sees you as his real
girlfriend, he'll ask you.
- Pfft!
- Which he definitely will, so
you need a dress, squirlfriend.
The next day, it seemed
like everywhere Devi turned,
people were asking
each other to the dance.
She was surrounded by
overt proclamations of love,
with no assurances that she
would get one of her own.
Paxton had six days to
ask her to the dance.
If he didn't, she would
officially be a sad side-piece.
Bro! Judge our burping contest?
- But today wasn't the day.
- Mmm.
And apparently, neither
was Tuesday or Wednesday.
So by Thursday morning,
Devi's chances of being asked to
the dance were looking kinda slim.
Devi was so confused because at
night, things were kinda steamy.
I usually go get a
snack when this happens.
And there was also a
decent amount of sweetness.
Why do you have a little man
made of trash lying around?
Don't make fun. He's my art.
I'm not making fun. I
love this gum-wrapper dude.
I'm gonna keep him.
Mmm.
Oh, Devi!
- Kamala?
- You forgot your lunch.
- Oh.
- And your wallet, and your phone.
Did you not notice you left with
an empty backpack this morning?
Thanks, Kamala. I've
been a little distracted.
Cousin Kamala. Hey, welcome back.
Oh, hi.
- Manish, right?
- Good memory.
So what are you doing back here?
Oh, did Devi get suspended again?
Give me some freaking credit, Mr. K.
What the ?
Roll, you know I gotta roll ♪
You know I gotta roll ♪
If you wanna roll with me ♪
Roll with me, don't fade on me, love ♪
Oh baby, don't play with me now ♪
Slow down, let me talk to you ♪
If you wanna roll with me ♪
Oh my God, Marcus! Of
course I'll go with you.
Dope!
What was that?
Big Winter Dance this Saturday.
Oh! Devi, are you going?
- Uh, it's kinda for popular kids.
- Damn, Mr. K!
Maybe. I don't know. I still
have to figure some things out.
Uh, you know who is going?
Me.
Although most of the chaperones,
we bail on the dance and
go to Mr. Shapiro's class,
and we do karaoke, and we drink
booze Devi, you did not hear that.
- You should come by.
- Oh, I
Ew, she can't.
Her mega-hot fiancé's
parents are coming to town.
Sorry. I I didn't
mean it like a date.
You definitely did.
It's No. Thank you so much.
If it were any other
weekend, I'd love to come.
I'm always looking for an excuse
to publicly sing "Drops of Jupiter."
Now that even my adult cousin has
been asked to the Winter Dance,
it's time for me to dip.
Thanks for lunch, Kamala.
What up, Eric? I wanted to let you know
that I'll be at robotics practice later.
You said that the last eight practices.
I've talked about it in therapy.
Dude, you've missed
eight robotics practices?
You're the captain, and
robots are your whole brand.
Yeah, Gears Brosnan is
your emergency contact.
Yeah, I've just been busy
with this Cricket Queen stuff.
I didn't want to let Sasha
and Eve down. It's fine!
So, what's up with Paxton?
- He still hasn't asked you yet?
- No. I keep getting my hopes up.
Like last night, he said, "Hey,
do you want to go with me to
the Dan Stevens book signing?"
I guess Paxton loves Downton Abbey.
Sure, I could see him
as a Grantham-head.
Hey, babe! Someone left a little
message for you on my phone!
Hey, Ben. Hi.
It's your fellow Clipper
fan, Billy Crystal.
No way.
What are you doing for the
Winter Dance? Are you gonna go?
Or you gonna sit at home like a dope,
eating pretzels in your underwear?
Aneesa asked me to ask you
to go to the dance with her.
So what do you say?
You say, "Yes." Otherwise,
you are a complete doofus.
So what do you think? You a doofus?
Yeah, let's go to the
dance. That was awesome!
Full disclosure. I've
actually met William.
That's what his friends
call him, before
- Like a Hollywood
- Aneesa! Psst!
Hey.
Did you just ask Ben to the dance?
Yeah. Why, is that weird?
No, no, no. It's just, most girls
around here wait for the guy to ask.
But that's so
old-fashioned, and honestly,
it's so much more stressful
waiting around for these dumb boys
to get their acts together.
Huh.
Hey!
So I don't know if you have
any weekend plans or anything,
but I was wondering if maybe
you wanna do something dumb
and go to
Whoa, Crazy Devi, are you
asking Paxton to the dance?
It's not
Yeah. Would you wanna
go to the dance with me?
Sorry, but no.
Ooh.
Mmm. Mmm.
Harsh, dude.
After that quite public rejection,
Devi was hoping to hide
out in the ladies' room
until everyone else went home.
But the thing about crying
in a high school bathroom is,
the last person you want to
see always walks right in.
Warning!
Man entering the girls' bathroom.
I'm not, like, trying to record
you guys peeing or anything.
Ben? What are you
doing? Get out of here!
I saw what happened.
Great.
Could there just be one day
where I don't absolutely
humiliate myself?
Listen, if anyone should
be embarrassed, it's Paxton.
I mean, have you seen his Instagram?
The last video he posted was of him
putting a little snake in Trent's hair.
He's not, like, great
at decision-making.
Why are you being nice to me?
Shouldn't you be, like,
relishing this moment
with a tub of popcorn and a FIJI
Water from your dad's home office?
Well, I don't drink FIJI.
We only do Smartwater
because my dad reps Aniston.
Sure, of course.
Ugh!
I can't go out like this.
The last thing I need is for
Paxton to see that I've been crying
and think I'm even more pathetic.
Who cares what Paxton thinks?
When are you gonna realize that
that dick doesn't deserve you?
Also, I heard he bought
his abs in Mexico.
Thanks, Ben.
You're not the worst, you know that?
Hey, guys. I'm here,
and I got some snacks.
So, Lenny, did you ever figure out
what was wrong with the
hydraulic arm on the KX94?
- What's going on?
- I hate to inform you,
but you're no longer
captain of the robotics team.
I'm the captain now.
What? Says who?
Says everyone!
You abandoned us for your
pursuit of popularity.
But guess what?
There's no room for popularity
on the robotics team.
It's not about popularity. I was
trying to help the queer community.
Well, Lenny's queer.
Did it help him when we lost
to East Encino last week?
Lenny's queer?
- Oh.
- Also, you abandoned your robot.
He was left under a roof leak
and started to spark so much
that a little flame
burst forth from his head.
Gears!
Jordan had to replace all of his wiring.
Hey, baby doll. Give Daddy some sugar.
I turned him into a straight-up player!
No! If anything, Gears is a
fussy old queen like C-3PO.
You may stay on the team,
Fabiola, but under my rule.
Hot damn, chickadee. You
make my freak flag fly.
You can't be serious. You're gonna climb
in here after what you did to me today?
I'm so sorry, Devi.
Knew you didn't think I was good enough.
What? I think you're good enough for me.
You rejected me in
front of your friends.
Not because I think I'm better than you.
Why then?
I don't know, Devi, maybe because
you humiliated me. Remember?
I mean, you two-timed me, and
then I got yeeted by a Chevy Volt.
How am I supposed to publicly be
with the girl who cheated on me.
and then ruined my swimming career?
The whole school would think I'm a joke.
When he said it like that,
it kinda made a lot of sense.
Look, Devi, I like you.
All right? I really do.
But we either do this
in secret or not at all.
So after he publicly swerved you,
he showed up for a sneaky link?
That dog!
Yeah, he said he'll only
be with me in secret.
How dare he not treat you
like the Tamil goddess you are?
You told him to take his toned
ass straight to hell, right?
Totally. I mean, 'cause if I didn't,
that'd be pathetic of me, right?
Hi, girls. Take your homework
upstairs. We're gonna need the room.
Why? What's happening?
We have to cook a regal feast for
Kamala's proposal dinner tomorrow.
Are we calling it a "proposal dinner"?
We don't have any
evidence to support that.
Oh, sure.
Maybe Prashant's parents
flew halfway around the world
to eat Domino's on our couch
and watch Ellen's Game of Games.
Stupid child.
Dad? You're in my room?
- Did I fall asleep on my homework again?
- Yes. You drooled all over your maths.
I'm happy to see you, but what's up?
I feel you could use
some fatherly wisdom.
I can tell your heart is a little heavy.
So you know about the Paxton situation?
I do, but it's not good enough
for you, my perfect girl.
You keep calling me that,
but I'm so far from perfect.
I keep messing things up.
I know.
Some of your recent decisions
have been totally wacko.
But just because you've
made some mistakes
doesn't mean you deserve
to settle for less.
The Devi I know would never agree
to be someone's secret girlfriend
kept in the shadows.
Maybe I'm different now.
You're not.
I have known you your entire life,
and you've never been the kind of
person who wanted to be hidden away.
Are you disappointed in me?
Of course not.
I call you my perfect girl
because you are perfect to me,
not because I expect you
to be perfect all the time.
Thanks, Dad.
I miss you.
I am always here.
After her talk with her dream dad,
Devi knew what she had
to do vis-à-vis Paxton.
But of course, the gods seemed to enjoy
making this as hard as possible for her.
- We need to talk.
- Ahh!
I can't be your secret
hookup. That's not who I am.
Okay?
I want a boyfriend who'll take
me to the dance, hold my hand,
and let me sit in his lap while
we share a chicken sandwich.
That last one was very specific.
I saw Rosalia and Eric
do it, and it seemed nice.
- They make a really good couple.
- They're a great couple.
Anyway, I know a lot of this
is my fault, and I'm sorry.
But I'm not gonna settle for some
weird secret thing behind closed doors.
I wanna be someone's public girlfriend.
Look, Devi, I get it.
All right? Really, I do,
but I just can't be that for you.
I'm sorry.
Understood.
Well,
thank you for the
time we spent together.
You are
very good at kissing.
This might seem like a sad
moment, but not long ago,
this teen had offered
up her virginity to him
like it was a hummus
sample at the grocery store,
and now, she was walking away
from an almost-relationship.
I have to say I'm
impressed with the kid.
Please don't look at my girlfriend ♪
She's the only one ♪
The only one ♪
Please don't look at my girlfriend ♪
Remember when we were gonna come tonight
in a sleek limo with sexy boyfriends?
But then, here we are. Single
at our first high school dance,
and we arrived in your
stepmom's hatchback.
Yeah. I'm really sorry my
dress almost suffocated you.
It really demands more space
than a two-door vehicle.
Mmm.
And I'm also really
sorry about Paxton, Devi.
- I know you're disappointed.
- Yeah.
But honestly, I'm psyched
that you're my date.
You're a huge step up from Malcolm.
He stopped wearing deodorant
after he heard Leo DiCaps doesn't.
His pits were loud!
Hey, guys. Um, did
Fabiola come with you?
No, we thought she was coming with you.
No. She told me she
was gonna meet me here,
but they'll hand out
the Cricket Crowns soon,
and she's not texting me back.
Huh. I wonder where she is.
Come on, Gears, come back to me.
Maybe you should just
oil me down, woman.
Fabiola?
Why are you crying?
It doesn't matter. I'm fine.
Honey, your velvet's soaked
with tears. You're not fine.
I just thought it would
be easier after coming out,
but even with the queer girls,
I feel like I'm constantly
trying to fit in.
And now the robotics team
hates me, and Gears is a creep.
I guess I'm as bad at being a lesbian
as I was a closeted straight person.
I think what you mean is that
you're bad at being Sasha and Eve.
Being gay, you're fine
at. You like girls, right?
Very much so.
I had a dream the other night that
Dua Lipa was feeding me grapes.
I've had that dream too.
Jonah? Where'd you come from?
I'm ubiquitous, henny.
Also, my hearing aids have been
specifically tuned to eavesdrop.
It's hard after pretending for so long
to finally live your authentic life.
I don't love how
straight girls feel like
they can casually call me "bitch" now.
Amen, bitch. Oh.
The whole point of coming out
is to get to be who you are.
And we love who you are.
Exactly.
So, sister, be who you are.
What up, Sherman Oaks?
First of all, Zoe and I are so happy
to be back on the dance committee,
after everyone realized that the dance
is completely paid for by
my dad's car dealership.
And secondly,
in this envelope are the names
of this year's Cricket royalty.
So without further ado,
your Cricket Queen and
Cricket Queen are
Eve Hjelm and Fabiola Torres!
Let's get those sheroes up here.
Where the hell is she at?
I'm here! I'm here.
Okay, gorgeous!
All right, it's time
for the spotlight dance.
And just to remind you,
this is, like, historic.
So nobody else dance
out of respect, okay?
If you do, you're a bigot.
Those tiaras are giving me life.
Thanks, Gears.
Look, Eve, I have to tell you something.
I'm not cool.
I don't know anything about pop culture,
and I don't know how to use hip
phrases like "what's the tea?"
- And I feel unsafe in ripped jeans.
- I know all that.
And the only thing I
love besides my family,
friends, and you, are robots.
So I don't wanna miss
any more practices.
Wait, you love me?
Did I say that out loud?
Damn it! Why do I always blurt out
all of my most personal secrets?
I love you too.
What?
Not because I care about you being cool.
Fabiola, you're the most
beautiful person I've ever met.
- Hello?
- Hi, Paxton.
It's Ms. Warner.
I'm sure you're at the
dance, so I won't keep you.
I was just going over your
end of the semester grades,
and I'm so impressed.
You've really turned it around!
Wow, really? So do you think I have
a chance of getting into college?
I do. If you keep this up,
you'll have plenty of options.
That's awesome!
So it seems like you and Devi made
a pretty good little team there, huh?
Not that I'm trying to take credit
for your accomplishments here.
Well, maybe just a little.
Have a good time tonight. Bye-bye.
I came here alone ♪
Just like ♪
Hey.
Hey!
So
Thanks again for the
pep talk the other day.
Yeah. No problem.
So, be honest,
were you in the girls'
bathroom to help me,
or was it for perv reasons,
and I happened to be there?
Obviously, perv reasons.
I don't care about you.
That's what I thought. I was like,
"Hold on, wait. Ben is sweet?"
- Then I was like, "Nah."
- Yeah, no, I'm a total creep.
So, uh, like, would you maybe want to
Hey, guys!
Ben, you can't be a wallflower all
night. You have to dance with me!
Think of the steps it'll
add to your pedometer.
Yeah, sure. Let's do it.
I came here alone ♪
Mmm, dinner was lovely.
But what I'm looking
forward to is dessert.
I'm not quite ready for dessert yet.
I still have a whole
lot of food on my plate.
I appreciate you wanting to seem like
a dainty eater in front of our guests,
but maybe you can try to eat more
than one pea at a time, Kamala,
so that they're not waiting so long.
That's okay. We don't have to rush.
Please, take your time.
Some of us don't have
a lot of time left,
and we can't wait forever for
you to slow-eat your matar paneer.
Prashant, have you given a thought
to how many children
you would like to have?
You know, you don't have to answer
that. Let me get the dessert first.
No! No, Pati, you sit.
I'll go get the dessert.
Ugh! Another slow song? This
is like the third one in a row.
Is the DJ trying to make
single people feel like shit?
It's Lenny.
Eric paid him 20 bucks to only
play slow songs for him and Rosalia.
You're broken ♪
I know this ♪
Mmm.
BRB.
Aw. Look at our girl.
She looks so happy.
You know, I've learned
an important lesson.
Love is not the same
thing as being starstruck.
I think the right guy
for me will think that
- You're a star.
- Huh?
I saw you in the play. You were
straight-up transcendent, Erica.
It's Eleanor, but thank you.
So like you wanna dance or
something? You could say no.
the only one I'm fooling ♪
Is my stupid self ♪
- Really?
- Yeah.
Sick.
Devi was thrilled her most
dramatic friend's night
had taken a romantic turn.
But looking at all the happy, let's
face it, horny couples around her,
made Devi feel even more alone.
It was time to get the hell out of here.
Goes, goes ♪
That's how love goes, goes ♪
Goes, goes ♪
That's how love goes, goes ♪
Goes, goes ♪
That's how love ♪
Say one day I'll be back ♪
Don't hold your breath ♪
Just know I hold a place ♪
For you always ♪
'Cause that's how love goes, goes ♪
That's how love goes, goes ♪
Devi! Oh my God, Devi.
Devi! Devi, are you okay?
I'm so sorry. I didn't see you.
You came to the dance.
Anything broken? Did you hit your head?
Did you come to the dance for me?
What? Yeah, obviously! Now, how
many fingers am I holding up?
Three. Wait, you came
to the dance for me?
- Yeah, I came to the dance for you.
- So what does that mean?
Are you sure I shouldn't take
you to, like, a hospital? Or
This dress is really padded. I'm fine.
Are you here as my friend or as my
Damn, Devi. You're gonna make me say it?
As your boyfriend.
It's happening! It's happening!
Shit! We've waited so long for this.
Sorry, having champagne.
I'll turn my mic off.
So, shall we dance?
Yeah. Okay.
Are you serious? Now,
you play a fast song?
I will end you, DJ Humanoid!
Hey! Hey, hey, it's okay.
We can still slow dance.
We're a million miles apart ♪
In a thousand ways ♪
Oh my God, he showed.
You've gotta be kidding me.
Of course, it's him.
It's always been him.
What? No, it hasn't.
After you took her to Malibu,
she wanted to choose you,
but Fab and I talked her
out of it. Sorry about that.
And everything she did to Aneesa
was because she was jealous,
'cause she thought you were
hooking up with her at the relay.
So just for the record,
it's not always been him.
In the darkest place ♪
So I guess I'm Paxton
Hall-Yoshida's girlfriend now.
- Guess so.
- I wonder what that's gonna be like.
Oh, we're just ♪
Just tryna find ourselves ♪
In the storms we chase ♪
Ey, ey, ey, ey, ey ♪
Baby, in and out of summer ♪
We could find our way ♪
I, I think about you ♪
Ooh, whoa-whoa, eh ♪
I can't help thinking 'bout ya ♪
I'm always thinking 'bout ya ♪
Ooh, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah ♪
S-s-s-say something, say something ♪
Tell me how you're feeling ♪
'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪
Can we all be as one again? ♪
'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪
Can we all be as one again? ♪
'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪
Can we all be as one again? ♪
'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪
Can we all be ♪