Phineas and Ferb s02e10 Episode Script
Perry Lays an Egg (15 min)
Mom, the remote's not working! You know, you could get up and walk five feet and change the channel the old-fashioned way.
Oh, be for real, Mom.
I'd rather watch the stupid nature show.
I'll get batteries while I'm out.
This week on Walking with Nature, one of the world's slowest creatures, Chelonia mydas, the sea turtle.
Five feet, huh? Nah, it's still not worth it.
Well, Ferb, time to make the sunniest day ever! I guess it's already as sunny as it's gonna get.
Wow, it's not even lunchtime and we're already done with today's project.
Think about it, Ferb.
That means we have the whole rest of the day to do another project.
It's like having two days in one! Can't ask for better than that.
Hey, Perry.
Do you have any cool ideas for projects? That's an egg.
Perry laid an egg! You know what this means, don't you? We're gonna have two Perrys! Congratulations, old boy! You're gonna be aâ Hey, where's Perry? How did you like our new pneumatic transporter? I used it myself this morning.
What? Oh, who am I kidding? The new pneumatic transporter sucks.
I mean, literally, sucked every piece of hair off my body.
Anyhoo, Doofenshmitz has brought up the Tri-State's entire supply of krill.
Krill? Krill is a small shrimp-like creature that plays an important role in the diet of the humpback whale.
Krill.
You know, Ferb, Perry's egg is getting kind of cold.
No, I don't think that's gonna cut it.
This calls for desperate measures.
We need the ultimate, best-ever egg hatcher.
Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today.
Five feet for popcorn, fine! Five feet to change a channel? I don't think so! This turtle is seeing the world for the first time.
Hey, this little fella is kind of cute.
Here's one that's found himself in the unforgiving position of being stuck on his back.
Watch as he instinctively turns to his stomach.
Whoa! Cool! But the sea turtles' struggles are just beginning.
Without the protection of their mother, they face many predators.
As you can see, they make easy prey even though the safety of the ocean is a mere five feet away.
All right, Ferb.
Let's get our nurture on! Easy does it! There! Activating temperature control.
Initiating platypus lullaby loop cycle.
Nothing says "mother's love" like a giant, robotic platypus butt.
Unbeknownst to the delicate infant turtle, it's caught the eye of a sea hawk, and he's looking for a meal.
Sadly, the sea hawk wins this battle.
Unlike humans, sea turtles don't have a mother to protect them through these crucial moments of infancy.
What's that? Hey, Candace.
Perry laid an egg! It's okay, little guy.
Candace is here to protect you! What are you doing to this precious gift of life? After Perry left his egg unattended, we decided it would be best if we watched over it for him.
Given the rudimentary needs of the average egg, we calculated the heat transfer due to elemental exposure, plus the positive developing life responses to familiar and expected sound, and factored in the obvious visual surroundings.
The result was the Platydroid.
But since we were pressed for time, we only built the Platy-posterior.
That's so wrong in so many ways, I don't even know where to start! An egg is like a little baby.
It needs a living, breathing mother.
It needs Hold on one second.
Okay, let's do this thing for real! Doofenshmirtz holding a bucket! Ah, Perry the Platypus! You're just in time for my backstory.
You see, it all started a lifetime ago.
I was young and in love with a beautiful girl.
She taught me how to see the beauty of life, and I taught her how to hold a petty grudge.
She was very interested in whales, for some reason.
In retrospect, it was probably more of an unhealthy obsession.
But to win her heart, I created the Whale Translator-inator! I rented the best oceanographic vessel that I could afford, and we headed out.
But when I turned the Translator-inator on What a loser that guy up there is! She should dump that pink chimp and go out with a real mammal like me.
She left me for that trash-talking 35-ton pile of blubber.
And broke my fragile, 10-ounce utterly-too-human heart.
Unfortunately, my Translator-inator only worked in one direction.
So I was not able to tell the whales what I thought of them.
Until today.
Watch this.
See, I taught myself whale song.
I just told him he's fat, and he has barnacle breath.
Come on.
Come on, who's diabolical? Okay, first things first.
Dismantle that thingamajig ofâ Of weirdness.
Sometimes, I swear, I'm the only normal one in this family.
Like I said.
Weirdness.
Now, let's get serious.
See what I'm wearing here? Serious.
This egg's not gonna hatch itself.
We need to build a nursery.
We have this cool blueprint for an incubator! Too antiseptic.
Think warm and loving, not cold and clinical! Hugs and kisses, not hard and mechanical! (Song: Technology vs.
Nature) Motherhood's for life It's not something in which you dabble For machine's not built to last Their love is only techno-babble Mother knows what's necessary 'Cause she always pays attention That's why they say necessity's the mother of invention Now I got you on the run Technology, zero Mother Nature, one! When a child cries out in the night It's rarely for the washing machine Science can't improve upon a mother's heart But given time, it could trick out a spleen! So if you think that you could build a better mother, let it go 'Cause nature already nailed it 60 million years ago You see, before we'd even begun Game over! Technology lost, Mother Nature won! Game over! Technology lost, Mother Nature won! So how does it feel to have your Platy-posterior handed to you on a plate, son? I justâ I just told him his macaroni and cheese recipe is too cheesy and not macaroni-y enough! Wait, wait, Perry the Platypus.
Where are youâ Where are you going? Wait! Wait! My evil plan isn't evil enough for you to foil? Is that it? Really? I've just insulted the macaroni and cheese recipe of a whale! What part of that is not evil? Perry the Platypus, you get back here and thwart me this instant! There.
That just about does it.
Candace! I'll say when it just about does it.
Mmm-hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
And how's my wugga wuggums? So cute! Hmm.
Not bad for a couple of boys.
You're pretty good at this, Candace.
You bet I am.
This is what real mothering looks like! Stymie me! Foil me! Hey-hey, what about the fact that I held a petty grudge against an inferior mammal all these years, huh? Thwart me, Perry the Platypus.
Aw, come on! I hope it's a girl! Come to Mommy, snooka wookums! Huh? It was just a bird? That's not just any bird.
That's a rare whale song-singing double-breasted angle hooper the natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.
Okay, okay.
I have something really evil.
Really, really.
It-It'sâ It's actually evil.
Just kidding.
Ow! Ow! Candace, I have your batteries.
Candace? What are you wearing? It's my mom suit.
All right.
I'll try not to take that as an insult.
What is the rest of this? Candace has us build this to show us what motherhood is like.
Okay Candace, you made them build all this? No! That's not fair! You know, Candace, you're gonna have to clean all this up.
Mom suit.
I swear.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How do you only manage to see this one? Why only mine? Wait! Come back! Oh, this is so unfair! Wait! Hey, Candace.
I was just stopping by to invite you Hmm.
Well, nice mom suit.
See? He gets it.
Heinz? Elizabeth? Best decision I ever made.
Oh, be for real, Mom.
I'd rather watch the stupid nature show.
I'll get batteries while I'm out.
This week on Walking with Nature, one of the world's slowest creatures, Chelonia mydas, the sea turtle.
Five feet, huh? Nah, it's still not worth it.
Well, Ferb, time to make the sunniest day ever! I guess it's already as sunny as it's gonna get.
Wow, it's not even lunchtime and we're already done with today's project.
Think about it, Ferb.
That means we have the whole rest of the day to do another project.
It's like having two days in one! Can't ask for better than that.
Hey, Perry.
Do you have any cool ideas for projects? That's an egg.
Perry laid an egg! You know what this means, don't you? We're gonna have two Perrys! Congratulations, old boy! You're gonna be aâ Hey, where's Perry? How did you like our new pneumatic transporter? I used it myself this morning.
What? Oh, who am I kidding? The new pneumatic transporter sucks.
I mean, literally, sucked every piece of hair off my body.
Anyhoo, Doofenshmitz has brought up the Tri-State's entire supply of krill.
Krill? Krill is a small shrimp-like creature that plays an important role in the diet of the humpback whale.
Krill.
You know, Ferb, Perry's egg is getting kind of cold.
No, I don't think that's gonna cut it.
This calls for desperate measures.
We need the ultimate, best-ever egg hatcher.
Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today.
Five feet for popcorn, fine! Five feet to change a channel? I don't think so! This turtle is seeing the world for the first time.
Hey, this little fella is kind of cute.
Here's one that's found himself in the unforgiving position of being stuck on his back.
Watch as he instinctively turns to his stomach.
Whoa! Cool! But the sea turtles' struggles are just beginning.
Without the protection of their mother, they face many predators.
As you can see, they make easy prey even though the safety of the ocean is a mere five feet away.
All right, Ferb.
Let's get our nurture on! Easy does it! There! Activating temperature control.
Initiating platypus lullaby loop cycle.
Nothing says "mother's love" like a giant, robotic platypus butt.
Unbeknownst to the delicate infant turtle, it's caught the eye of a sea hawk, and he's looking for a meal.
Sadly, the sea hawk wins this battle.
Unlike humans, sea turtles don't have a mother to protect them through these crucial moments of infancy.
What's that? Hey, Candace.
Perry laid an egg! It's okay, little guy.
Candace is here to protect you! What are you doing to this precious gift of life? After Perry left his egg unattended, we decided it would be best if we watched over it for him.
Given the rudimentary needs of the average egg, we calculated the heat transfer due to elemental exposure, plus the positive developing life responses to familiar and expected sound, and factored in the obvious visual surroundings.
The result was the Platydroid.
But since we were pressed for time, we only built the Platy-posterior.
That's so wrong in so many ways, I don't even know where to start! An egg is like a little baby.
It needs a living, breathing mother.
It needs Hold on one second.
Okay, let's do this thing for real! Doofenshmirtz holding a bucket! Ah, Perry the Platypus! You're just in time for my backstory.
You see, it all started a lifetime ago.
I was young and in love with a beautiful girl.
She taught me how to see the beauty of life, and I taught her how to hold a petty grudge.
She was very interested in whales, for some reason.
In retrospect, it was probably more of an unhealthy obsession.
But to win her heart, I created the Whale Translator-inator! I rented the best oceanographic vessel that I could afford, and we headed out.
But when I turned the Translator-inator on What a loser that guy up there is! She should dump that pink chimp and go out with a real mammal like me.
She left me for that trash-talking 35-ton pile of blubber.
And broke my fragile, 10-ounce utterly-too-human heart.
Unfortunately, my Translator-inator only worked in one direction.
So I was not able to tell the whales what I thought of them.
Until today.
Watch this.
See, I taught myself whale song.
I just told him he's fat, and he has barnacle breath.
Come on.
Come on, who's diabolical? Okay, first things first.
Dismantle that thingamajig ofâ Of weirdness.
Sometimes, I swear, I'm the only normal one in this family.
Like I said.
Weirdness.
Now, let's get serious.
See what I'm wearing here? Serious.
This egg's not gonna hatch itself.
We need to build a nursery.
We have this cool blueprint for an incubator! Too antiseptic.
Think warm and loving, not cold and clinical! Hugs and kisses, not hard and mechanical! (Song: Technology vs.
Nature) Motherhood's for life It's not something in which you dabble For machine's not built to last Their love is only techno-babble Mother knows what's necessary 'Cause she always pays attention That's why they say necessity's the mother of invention Now I got you on the run Technology, zero Mother Nature, one! When a child cries out in the night It's rarely for the washing machine Science can't improve upon a mother's heart But given time, it could trick out a spleen! So if you think that you could build a better mother, let it go 'Cause nature already nailed it 60 million years ago You see, before we'd even begun Game over! Technology lost, Mother Nature won! Game over! Technology lost, Mother Nature won! So how does it feel to have your Platy-posterior handed to you on a plate, son? I justâ I just told him his macaroni and cheese recipe is too cheesy and not macaroni-y enough! Wait, wait, Perry the Platypus.
Where are youâ Where are you going? Wait! Wait! My evil plan isn't evil enough for you to foil? Is that it? Really? I've just insulted the macaroni and cheese recipe of a whale! What part of that is not evil? Perry the Platypus, you get back here and thwart me this instant! There.
That just about does it.
Candace! I'll say when it just about does it.
Mmm-hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
And how's my wugga wuggums? So cute! Hmm.
Not bad for a couple of boys.
You're pretty good at this, Candace.
You bet I am.
This is what real mothering looks like! Stymie me! Foil me! Hey-hey, what about the fact that I held a petty grudge against an inferior mammal all these years, huh? Thwart me, Perry the Platypus.
Aw, come on! I hope it's a girl! Come to Mommy, snooka wookums! Huh? It was just a bird? That's not just any bird.
That's a rare whale song-singing double-breasted angle hooper the natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.
Okay, okay.
I have something really evil.
Really, really.
It-It'sâ It's actually evil.
Just kidding.
Ow! Ow! Candace, I have your batteries.
Candace? What are you wearing? It's my mom suit.
All right.
I'll try not to take that as an insult.
What is the rest of this? Candace has us build this to show us what motherhood is like.
Okay Candace, you made them build all this? No! That's not fair! You know, Candace, you're gonna have to clean all this up.
Mom suit.
I swear.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How do you only manage to see this one? Why only mine? Wait! Come back! Oh, this is so unfair! Wait! Hey, Candace.
I was just stopping by to invite you Hmm.
Well, nice mom suit.
See? He gets it.
Heinz? Elizabeth? Best decision I ever made.