Royal Pains s02e10 Episode Script

ADMlNlSTRATOR: You let a billionaire hospital trustee die to save some kid off the street.
l made a judgment call.
You made a mistake.
EVAN: This trip is going to get you back on your feet.
HANK: What trip? EVAN: To the Hamptons.
ls this an arranged marriage? Yes.
l know many couples who got married deeply in love.
Now, they barely speak.
Well.
You sound so terribly excited about this marriage.
Welcome to Cuba.
Dr.
Casseras has diagnosed me, Hank.
ls Boris in a long-distance relationship? GlNNlE: Open wide.
Mmm, yummy.
Extra ketchup.
Who loves Ginnie? (CLlCKlNG TONGUE) Walter loves Ginnie.
Oh, yeah, l know you love this.
lt's your favorite.
Daddy's home.
Dinner's almost ready, Roy.
We won.
We won the lottery.
Are you serious? Are you serious? (LAUGHlNG) You can't be serious! Oh! (GASPlNG) Roy? (GASPS) Oh, my God, baby.
What's happening? Baby.
Talk to me.
(LAUGHlNG) What You You are evil.
Do you know that? Why did l even marry you? Because you knew someday l'd be a very rich man.
Yes, l did.
Oh, baby.
Oh, my gosh.
Roy? What are we going to buy first? We're still working on filling all this space.
Yeah.
Can l make a suggestion? Hmm? How about a regulation basketball court? Right here.
That would fit.
l know.
lt's huge, right? Wow.
lt's as big as the price tag.
How are you guys doing? Hey.
What's up? Still pinching pennies.
The man helped the movers unload our stuff.
Who does that? They were charging by the hour.
They were taking their sweet time.
ls that how you hurt your wrist? l had worse than this driving a truck for 14 years.
But l never called in sick.
Not one day.
Never.
Always, always on the road.
So, now, you're going to relax if it kills me.
So, um, how can l help? lt's this hideous rash.
Ah.
l l can't face the neighbors like this.
l mean, these are the Hamptons.
No, no.
lt's singular.
This ''is'' the Hamptons.
lt's a mistake l used to make all the time.
lt's a big tell.
Thanks.
They're going to think we brought the plague or something.
l can definitely rule out plague.
Evan R.
Lawson.
l'm the CFO of HankMed.
Hey.
ls this new jewelry? l bought a whole set on our trip from North Dakota.
One of a kind.
Really? Right, honey? Oh.
Sure, babe.
Uh, yeah.
l think you're having an allergic reaction to it.
l've never had real gold before.
l had no idea l was allergic.
Actually, we still don't know that you are allergic to real gold.
Honey, he's saying it's not real.
They saw her coming a mile away.
Oh, yeah.
This is hydrocortisone.
Use it on the rash twice a day until it's gone.
Okay? Okay.
l can do that.
All right.
Well, CFO, (CHUCKLES) what do l owe you? Oh, no, no.
We'll bill you.
Yeah, we'll bill you.
Okay.
Citizens Bank of Bowbells.
Nice.
Just tell me one thing.
You didn't put all your money in one bank, right? Uh You didn't, right? Okay.
Dude, you need financial planning assistance.
Like, bad.
And l can't, in good conscience, allow you to go on like this.
lt's crazy.
Okay, okay.
How much do you want for the conscience? (BOTH LAUGH) You know, you're new in town.
l'll give you the discounted rate.
Okay.
lt should clear up in a couple of days.
lf not, call me.
Oh, thank goodness.
We're renewing our wedding vows, and l want to wear something strapless.
Strapless is all the rage in summer weddings.
According to Vogue.
According to Vogue.
Last time, we couldn't afford more than city hall, so lt was still romantic as heck, though.
Yeah.
That was 10 years ago Saturday.
Hey, you guys should come to the party.
Uh, do we have to wear something strapless? No.
Everyone will be there.
Oh.
Like, who? Everyone.
l invited the whole neighborhood.
Oh.
Yeah.
Great.
Okay.
We'll see you then.
Bye.
We'll talk.
Bye, guys.
Thanks again.
HANK: Looks like Boris won't be coming home from Cuba alone.
EVAN: Marisa's coming? Oh, my God.
Can you imagine if we had two weddings this weekend? Boris', then Roy and Ginnie's? That would be That would be like a Katherine Heigl movie come to life.
Pretty much.
Eddie hasn't called, yet? No.
No.
lt's He's in Washington.
Oh, right.
That place without phones.
Yeah, but if Eddie gets government contracts, it's huge for BlueSky.
Your birthday was three days ago.
Where was Eddie then? Come on.
lt was still awesome.
lt was good.
But was laser tag at Shadow Pond as cool as Lazer Blaze? Schooling the kids on capture the flag.
Yeah, l mean, that's the tradition.
No.
No, the tradition is you and me.
Okay? Same as on all my birthdays.
Since, like, forever.
Yeah, and Eddie nowhere to be found.
ALL: Surprise! (ALL CHEERlNG) (LAUGHlNG) Happy birthday, Son.
Actually Thank you, Dad.
Honestly, thank you so much.
(LAUGHS) l'm glad you're having a good time.
l am.
Hey, hey.
Happy birthday, old man.
Hey.
Killer Keller.
How is the schnoz? l'm still breathing.
(BOTH LAUGHlNG) Yeah? Oh! Good to see you.
Ms.
Newberg.
Hey.
Hello, Hank.
Happy birthday Evan.
Of course.
l know who you are.
Now's a good time to start lying about your age.
Uh, that's good advice.
Thank you.
Good to see you.
Hey.
l'm glad you're here.
l, um l wanted to talk to you about Emily.
Do you really want to talk about it or do you just think that you have to talk about it? Because you don't, Hank.
Really.
We're cool.
(STAMMERlNG) Okay.
Good talk.
Okay.
l'm going to go get a beer.
Happy birthday.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much for coming, dude.
Hello.
Mmm.
Wait, wait, wait.
You've got to open mine first.
Sorry.
All right.
(CHUCKLlNG) No.
ls this the same one the CEO of Goldman Sachs was wearing when he testified before Congress? Maybe.
Oh, my God.
Paige.
(LAUGHlNG) Oh, my God.
That's crazy! Thank you.
Uh, do you want to put it on? Yes.
Absolutely.
l can't believe you did this.
lt's pretty great, right? Yeah.
Okay.
Hey.
(GASPS) Oh.
How did it go with Hank? So fun.
Yeah.
lt's a party, right? Hey, so, um, l thought Raj was in Seattle.
He was.
But he stopped off to see me on his way back to London.
Sounds like things are going well.
They are.
l have everything l want.
l've got a girl l like.
l've got a job l love.
l've got a watch l adore.
l've got a brother l kind of like.
Yeah, l kind of like Kind of like you a little.
l have a dad again who finally showed up for my birthday.
A couple of days late, but still That's great, Evan.
That's great.
l've got to thank him.
(LAUGHS) l don't understand.
l don't need a doctor.
DlVYA: l was told that you had stomach pain.
Adam called you.
(SlGHS) He's worried about nothing.
lt was probably something l ate.
Well, have you eaten anything out of the ordinary? Yes.
Adam's come home from Timbuktu, or some such place, with a recipe for roasted calf's brains.
Well, maybe they weren't roasted properly.
Or maybe it's just that they were calf brains.
They're a delicacy in the Middle East.
Hi.
l'm Hank.
This is Divya.
Adam.
Thank you for coming.
He was there working on a new documentary.
About gender discrimination in schools, not calf brains.
Anyway, when l arrived here at my parents' place yesterday, Tali was achy and nauseous before l made dinner.
Well, maybe it's nerves.
Your parents, your brothers, your whole family are coming in, and the house is nowhere near being ready.
Stop it.
You are part of our family.
(SCOFFS) Tali had a kidney transplant two years ago.
A transplant patient is extremely susceptible to infection or rejection of transplanted tissue.
And now you know why l'm worried.
Sure.
Well, first things first.
Who's her nephrologist? Have you experienced any weight gain or swelling in your lower extremities? No.
Everything's fine.
l'll get these samples to the lab right away.
Yeah.
Make sure they put a rush on it.
Are you taking it easy, Tali? Adam mentioned his family reunion.
Oh.
He got here early to pester me.
He's probably just checking in on his kidney.
Making sure you're taking good care of it.
Uh, wait.
Adam is the donor? Mmm.
(WALTER SQUAWKlNG) Okay, buddy.
Back to your room.
He has his own room? Why not? We've got plenty of them.
Can you get the door for me? Yeah.
Thank you.
All right.
(LAUGHS) Here we go, bud.
Yeah, that's cool.
lt's like an indoor bird gazebo room.
So, what's the plan, CFO? Well, how aggressive do you want to be? There are plenty of ways to increase your returns, my friend.
lncrease? l already have more money than l know what to do with.
Well, it's good that l'm here.
l can tell you what to do with it.
Oh, man.
l'd be happy just sticking it under a mattress, but there's probably no mattress big enough.
So, you want to sit here in your giant mansion in the most exclusive neighborhood in the world and you want to forget that you won the lottery.
Have you ever heard of the lottery curse? Terrible things happen to lottery winners.
They end up with nothing.
Okay.
That's bad advice.
All right? And you have me.
And Ginnie has a rash.
Yeah.
And that's cheap jewelry.
(WHEEZES) Are you okay, man? No.
No.
That's what l've been trying to tell you.
Excuse me.
l thought surprises were my thing.
Well, surprise.
Welcome.
Thank you.
This is quite a nice place you've got here.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You like scotch, right? Yeah, l don't want a drink.
Thank you.
So, how happy am l? Huh? My son came to visit me.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Um, l wanted to thank you.
For the party.
lt meant a lot to Evan.
Oh, come on.
That's the least l could do for missing all those birthdays before yesterday.
Uh, yeah, technically, you actually (PHONE RlNGlNG) Hold that thought.
Okay.
Hello? Just give me a second.
Give me a second.
l've got to take this.
Take a second.
Now (SlGHS) (CHATTERlNG) HANK: l got your message, Roy.
l got here as quick as l could.
Let's have a look.
l've been l've been keeping it from Ginnie.
But l'm starting to freak out.
lt hurts more than l can tell you.
All right.
Well, let's take a look, here.
l'm sorry, buddy.
Okay.
(EXCLAlMS lN PAlN) All right.
All right.
No popping or clicking.
Let's check.
Okay.
No ulnar deviation.
Here.
Grab my fingers.
Tight.
Okay.
Hey, where did you get this abrasion? Who knows? We were mobbed everywhere we went in North Dakota.
Malls, restaurants.
Everyone wanted to shake our hand or touch us for good luck.
All that contact could have led to an infection.
l need to run a blood test.
Doc, one time l got my thumb caught in the fifth wheel hitch on my truck.
Damn near ripped my hand off.
And this hurts worse.
Wow.
Okay.
l need a CT.
Maybe l should give the money back.
What Hey, bite your tongue, man.
Evan, come here.
l need you to go to the guest house and get the CT scanner.
Okay.
Why? What's going on? Disproportionate pain is a symptom of a very specific infection.
What? l need to test him for necrotizing fasciitis.
He might be infected by a totalitarian state? A flesh-eating bacteria.
Whoa.
Yeah, that might qualify as a lottery curse.
Hank.
lt's good to see you.
You, too.
How are you, Evan? Good.
Thank you.
Good.
Welcome home.
Well, thank you.
lt's good to be here.
Yeah.
l'll see you both later, huh? Absolutely.
Very good.
Okay.
Someone's in a good mood.
Yeah, l'll say.
Did you hear what he just called me? Evan.
Oh.
He actually said my l feel like l'm in the Twilight Zone right now.
Hey.
Um You ever say anything to Eddie about Boris? l might have mentioned the mysterious Russo-Czech-ltalian accent once or twice.
But, no.
Why? l went to his house the other day and l found Shadow Pond letterhead.
So? What if he threw your birthday party to steal the letterhead? Are you actually being serious? So, why don't you ask Dad about the letterhead? l will.
l will.
l'm just not sure if he'll give me a straight answer.
Okay.
Well, good news.
Your kidney function is completely normal.
Oh, thank God.
l didn't want to admit it, but l was terrified.
Me, too.
l was just waiting for you to ask for my other one.
(LAUGHS) Anti-nausea medication.
Take one tablet, let it melt on your tongue every six hours as needed.
Until you're feeling better.
But l think that the best prescription for you is rest.
She's going to bed right now.
Thank you.
Oh, well, it's our job.
l'll show you out.
(BEEPlNG) ls that news? Just please tell me l'm not planning Roy's financial future in vain.
lt is definitely not necrotizing fasciitis.
Oh, good.
l still don't know what's causing the pain.
Hopefully, things will get clearer at the follow-up.
Boo! (LAUGHS) She got you.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
What are you doing here? Spa day.
l got us a couple's massage for your birthday.
You already got me a watch that's giving everything in my dresser an inferiority complex.
So, call this a one-week anniversary present.
Okay, fine.
l just want to hang out with you.
And a masseuse.
Come on.
Wait.
Wait.
Look.
You're killing me.
l have work to do today.
Like, l have to do it.
Can l get, like, a rain check? ls it the kind of work where someone will die if you don't do it? No, it's No, it's We have a client who won the lottery, and they're in desperate need of a brilliant business mind.
Or yours.
Uh So be brilliant tomorrow.
Well, l really want to get the financial plan to them on Saturday as a gift for their lt's like a vow renewal thing.
Oh, yeah.
l got that invite.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everyone in the Hamptons got it because they invited everyone in the Hamptons.
That's cute.
lnsane, but cute.
Yeah, you should come.
Yeah, we'll see.
Come on.
Please come with me.
You know, look, l l want to really, really bad.
But l can't.
So, next time, l promise, it's going to be even better than it would have been.
Okay.
Well, have fun.
Yeah, no (STAMMERlNG) l'll text you later.
Okay? All right.
Bye, Hank.
So Tali and you seem very close.
Not many people would have given a kidney to an employee.
ln a lot of ways, Tali is more my family than my blood relatives.
l mean, we're the only two members of the household without law degrees.
Plus, l was the only one who matched.
When the universe puts something like that in front of you, it's hard to deny.
Well, it sounds like the lV antibiotics l gave you are working.
lt must have been an infection.
And luckily, not the one that l thought.
Yeah, l feel a million times better.
l had a cough this morning, but that's it.
Well, that cough could be the East Coast vegetation.
You're still new to that.
Hey, welcome to hay fever country, buddy.
But we'll keep watching the cough.
But l think you're ready to party, my friend.
(CHUCKLES) Good, since l'll probably be the only one there.
Still no RSVPs from the neighbors? Oh, come on.
We're lottery winners from North Dakota.
What do these people care about us renewing our vows? But Ginnie is a small-town girl through and through.
That's what l love about her.
She likes to see the world as one big, happy family.
Well, we'll be there, and we'll make a lot of noise.
Evan will, anyway.
(WALTER SQUAWKlNG) What's that? Oh, that's Walter.
Who's Walter? Walter's their parrot.
He loves foie gras, and he has his own room.
lt's bigger than mine.
lt's like a whole room.
l may know what's making you sick.
The pain's gotten worse since l called you.
Tali, where does it hurt? Where my kidney is.
(GROANS) (CHlTTERlNG) Ginnie.
This culture will either confirm or rule out whether psittacosis, better known as parrot fever, is the source of Roy's issues.
ROY: Oh, no.
Parrot fever? That's impossible.
Walter is not a parrot.
He's a macaw.
Macaw.
Right.
No, no.
Um, psittacosis is an infection that can be spread from non-human animals like hens, ducks or macaws to humans.
The infection on your wrist is probably from the bacteria.
lt could also explain your cough.
Roy! That's great news! Wait.
Our Walter is sick? Well, if he is, we'll give you the name of a good vet.
No, no, no.
We don't want a good vet.
We want the best.
We want a concierge vet.
They probably have that in the Hamptons.
How could we have not known that our little guy was sick? GlNNlE: l don't know.
HANK: Hey, Roy.
Listen.
lf you hadn't had these symptoms, Walter's illness could have killed him.
Okay.
But, Doc, if l have the, uh, psitticoses, then how come my wrist is getting better? Just, uh, psittacosis.
And probably the meds l prescribed masked the pain.
But l'll get you tetracycline, which will permanently knock out the infection.
Dude, l told you it wasn't some lotto curse making you sick.
lt was your parrot! (LAUGHlNG) That's almost funny.
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG) Hey, Divya.
Yeah, l'm on my way.
Excuse me.
lt was your parrot the whole time.
l said it was almost funny.
l consulted with her nephrologist, and Tali's creatinine levels are normal.
Her pain is localized near the kidney.
But given the normal creatinine levels, l'm more inclined to suspect the other culprit of lower left quadrant pain.
(EXCLAlMS lN PAlN) lt's going to be okay, Tali.
lt's going to be okay.
Which raises another problem.
l want to avoid a CT.
l mean, the dye has the potential to damage her kidney.
l'll get the ultrasound.
Good.
(MOANlNG) Yeah.
Yeah, no problem with the aorta.
Kidney looks fine.
Looks good, actually.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Mmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
You see that pocket on the wall of the colon? lt shows signs of inflammation.
Here you go.
Thanks.
lt's called diverticulitis.
(SlGHlNG) Adam, we have to get her to a hospital.
She needs treatment and she needs observation until the inflammation recedes and that there's no danger of a rupture.
l'll pack her stuff.
Okay, Tali.
You can button up.
Thank you for protecting my kidney.
ls she stable enough for me to drive her? Yeah.
She is.
To be safe, l'll drive.
lt's on the way.
And l can help you with admittance at Hamptons Heritage.
Okay.
That's very helpful.
HANK: Your vitals look great.
You seem surprised.
l'm pleased.
Amongst other things, it must be the Cuban air.
Amongst other things.
Hank, l owe you a debt of gratitude.
Oh? Why is that? lf it weren't for you, l don't think l would have savored my stay in Cuba as much as l did.
You mean because l left.
The time l spent with Marisa was very meaningful.
ln fact, she's coming to live here at Shadow Pond.
You convinced Marisa to defect? She will be here tomorrow.
l'm happy.
For both of you.
Thank you.
(SPEAKlNG GERMAN) BORlS: This is Marco? Yeah? Why? When? Yeah, that was my understanding.
They would lift it, the travel ban.
Well, find out.
That's what you're paid for.
Marco, l want her on the plane.
You understand? Hey, Divya.
Hey.
Thank you.
You're still here.
Phew! Not for long.
l have a nice bottle of cabernet waiting at home for me.
Ooh! Hey, you care to join us? Mmm, l'd love to.
But l need to check in on a patient.
Yeah, how is she doing? Oh, okay.
Better now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Divya.
That's the guy who donated his kidney to his housekeeper? Yes.
Why? Oh, no reason.
You just didn't mention that he's kind of hot.
ls he? Yeah.
l hadn't noticed.
He makes documentaries.
Okay.
l ought to go in and see them.
Have fun with your cabernet.
Mmm, l will.
Have fun with your hot documentarian.
She'll need to stay here a little while longer.
But Tali is going to be fine.
She and your kidney are going to have a long and happy life together.
All three of us are relieved to hear that.
Thank you, Divya.
(SlGHS) Can l ask you something? What made you give Tali your kidney? l used to call Tali ''Mama.
'' l thought she was my mom.
ls your mother not alive? Oh, no, she is alive.
And kicking.
And judging.
(CHUCKLlNG) She doesn't approve of my career.
She's never approved of anyone l've dated.
And if she hadn't given me my name, she'd probably hate that, too.
(CHUCKLlNG) l come from a long line of high-priced personal injury attorneys.
Think, um, ambulance chasers.
Except we don't have to chase the ambulances.
They come to us.
The line stopped with me.
l can imagine.
Not doing what's expected of you can be trying.
lt was, at first.
lt was near impossible.
But Tali was always there for me.
Well, you have returned that in kind.
lt was the least l could do.
Divya.
Good morning.
Morning.
Didn't you wear that yesterday? Did you sleep here? (DOOR OPENlNG) Divya.
You know, you forgot your scarf.
l thought about keeping it, but summer sage just isn't my color.
(CHUCKLlNG NERVOUSLY) Hey.
l'm engaged.
l didn't say anything.
l crashed.
Unintentionally.
l didn't say anything.
l was concerned for Tali.
So was Adam.
l know.
You You didn't say anything.
Divya, are you all right? l'm fine.
Fine.
You know, l just need to go home, take a shower, change my clothes.
l will see you at the vow renewal.
Can't wait.
Mmm.
lt's colorful.
Stop it.
What was l thinking? What if no one comes? We have all this food.
You Back home, people show up early just to help you set up.
All right.
Well, welcome to HST, ''Hamptons Standard Time.
'' lf you're on time, you're actually inappropriately early.
So HST? Uh-huh.
Whether that's real or you're just trying to make me feel better, thank you.
Oh, no, no.
lt's no big deal.
Yeah.
Yeah, no one's coming.
Oh.
Do you know of a food bank or something we can donate all this stuff to? What happened to HST? lt actually stands for ''Horribly Sad Turnout.
'' Okay.
God, l wish Paige were here to see all this.
To see all this? Yeah.
She'd get a kick out of it.
Well, why don't you call her? Maybe she'll come.
l'm five texts ahead of you, man.
Nothing.
l'm sorry, bro.
No, it's cool.
Guys.
Hey.
l don't think l can go through with this.
You got cold feet? l'd trade what l have for cold feet any day.
What do you have? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How long has it been like this? Since this morning.
Ginnie's been looking forward to this wedding for so long.
l don't want to ruin it for her.
Something tells me she'd notice that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This lottery curse is unbearable.
Okay, okay.
On a scale from one to ten, how bad is it? lf l had a saw, l would have cut off my hand by now.
(ROY SlGHlNG) Okay.
This should decrease the pain from the pressure of the infected synovial fluid.
There you go.
l'm going to check the fluid from this tap.
See, a high white cell count is a symptom of psittacosis.
And in the meantime, l am going to immobilize the wrist by putting this splint right here, which should make you a lot more comfortable.
Now, Roy, l really need you to take it easy.
Doc, if you're thinking l'd sit this out, you're crazy.
Give me this pain in both wrists before l let Ginnie miss out on this wedding.
Even if we are the only ones here to see it.
(CHUCKLES) l hear you, bud.
l hear you.
(SlGHlNG) Hi.
Hi.
How's How's Tali? Oh.
Better.
Good.
Those flowers will help.
Well, l hope so.
They're They're for you.
Um ''Get Well Soon''? Well, it was better than the bouquet that said, ''Sorry For Your Loss.
'' (CHUCKLlNG) Why are you giving me flowers? l'm not.
l mean, l am, along with Tali, as a, uh, floral thank you.
Oh.
(CHUCKLlNG) l should go.
Right.
Uh Divya.
Uh Just out of curiosity l'm only mildly acquainted with lndian decorative tradition.
That That ring on your finger l'm engaged.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
GlNNlE: lf the Hamptons don't, l mean, doesn't want to start with me, then l will start without them.
Ooh! l mean, ''it.
'' Right.
Whatever.
Please, find a seat.
lt shouldn't be difficult.
Ginnie? Ginnie? lt will be great.
The only people that truly matter are already here.
Thank you.
Nice try.
Hi! l have no idea who you are, but l'm so happy you're here.
Well, hi.
Hi.
My name is Jill.
Congratulations.
l am a sucker for vow renewals.
Oh! Hey, you know who you should meet? You You have to meet Hank.
Oh.
He is a great guy.
Thank Thank you.
Yeah.
Hi.
lt's so nice to meet you.
Honey? Come on.
Hmm? The officiant's charging by the hour.
Oopsie! Sorry.
l've got to go.
But have fun.
We are gathered here today (SQUAWKlNG) to celebrate the love of Ginnie and Roy as they renew their wedding vows.
Ginnie, doll Mmm? because of you, l had everything when we had nothing.
And now that l can give you anything, because we have everything, (GlNNlE GlGGLlNG) you will want for nothing.
GlNNlE: Roy, all the money in the whole, entire world couldn't make me love you any more than l already do.
Oh.
And l don't care if there are 300 people here, or just us three.
(SQUAWKlNG) This is the happiest day of my life.
From the moment l first laid eyes on you at the Bowl-and-Wash, (CHOKlNG UP) l knew you were the one for me, babe.
(BOTH LAUGHlNG) GlNNlE: Remember that? (CLEARlNG THROAT) l do.
l do.
(SQUAWKlNG) l do.
(CHUCKLlNG) JlLL: Congratulations.
(ALL CHEERlNG) l do.
All right! Whoo-hoo! EVAN: l guess Paige isn't coming.
l'm sorry, bro.
l never thought l'd get choked up by a parrot at a wedding.
l know.
lt's as if Wind Beneath My Wings was written just for him.
Hors d'oeuvres? Thank you.
That's a lot of cheese.
Roy? Allow me.
Hey, Doc.
Hey.
Uh, all this rich food l mean, how How often do you eat this kind of stuff? When in the Hamptons (CHUCKLlNG) And it makes Ginnie happy.
Anything for Ginnie.
Okay.
Ooh! Divya? Hmm? We need to check Roy's fluid.
Do you have the microscope? What do you see, Doc? Crystallized needles.
Needles? (CHUCKLES) No wonder my wrist hurts.
Yeah, it's, um lt's not psittacosis.
Though it shares some of the same symptoms.
Roy, you have gout.
The king of diseases and the disease of kings.
The gout? l have the gout? Uh, it's just ''gout.
'' How did l get it? Well, certain foods are rich in uric acid.
Your body has problems getting rid of the excess, which crystallizes in the joints.
These crystals look like sharp needles, which cause the pain and inflammation.
And which is why you have the redness, the swelling and the pain.
So, how do l get rid of the gout? Well, you get rid of the symptoms of the gout l mean, gout, by regulating your diet.
And l'll write you a prescription for allopurinol, which will help block uric acid.
So, the lottery curse is real.
Money did make me sick.
lt's the food you ate after you won the lottery that made you sick.
WAlTRESS: Cherries? No, thank you.
He's good.
So, just stick to what you used to eat, and you will be fine.
l do miss Cheetos.
Except for Cheetos.
l think l heard that people are just running late around here.
So (PEOPLE CHATTERlNG) No way.
Sorry l'm late.
Are you late? l brought a few friends.
l noticed that.
lt's, like, Paige plus 100.
Hey, l love a good party.
(CHATTERlNG HAPPlLY) One question.
Um l tweeted it.
lt's Oh.
That was not my question.
lt's good to know.
Um Why did you go through this much trouble for a couple you didn't even know? l didn't do it for them.
Hey.
Marisa's not coming.
(SlGHlNG) l'm sorry.
ls everything okay? Marisa has been arrested.
Arrested? What ln Cuba? Well, are you flying down to help? (SlGHS) No, l'm not.
Because l can't.
Surprise again.
What's this, twice in one week? Mmm.
l feel like l've won the lottery.
Really? Listen, l'm just about to have dinner.
Why don't you join me? l'm not hungry.
Of course you are.
lt's in our DNA.
This is, uh, meatloaf à la Lawson.
No, really.
Thank you, but, no, thank you.
No, no, no.
lt's okay.
You know what? How about if l l'll order Chinese.
ltalian? Dad, no.
Wow, you never listen.
(SlGHlNG) Look.
Last time l was here, l saw a blank letter with a Shadow Pond letterhead and what looked like, to me, some attempts at Boris' signature.
You saw that.
l saw that.
Wow.
l can't even imagine what you must be thinking.
Yeah.
lt didn't look great.
Ah, l've got a great explanation.
l'm sure you do.
But l don't want an explanation.
Okay.
All right.
So, why are you here? You're not in Passaic anymore.
And? What does that mean? That means Boris operates at a level Let's just say it's beyond your reach.
Light years beyond.
What are you What are you smiling about? What What's so funny? Because you're worried about me.
My boy cares.
Huh? Hey.
Don't Don't touch me.
Okay.
You care.
lt's not because l care.
lt's because l threw that great party for Evan, isn't it? l did good, didn't l? You did all right.
l know.
Don't get so excited.
l said ''all right.
'' No, but you're finally seeing that l'm not such a bad guy after all.
Maybe.
But let's hope you're not a day late and a dollar short.
Or in this case, three days late? See you around.
l used it for the party invitations.
What? The stationery.
l told you, l don't want an explanation.
Yeah.
And l never listen.
HANK: Look out! EVAN: You got her? Where is she? l have no idea! (HANK SCREAMlNG) (FlRlNG) (BEEPlNG) (FlRlNG) (BEEPlNG) (LAUGHlNG) EVAN: Okay, that was That was a wardrobe malfunction that time.
HANK: We used to be so good.
DlVYA: Well, times change, my friends.
Another round? Let's take a break, G.
l.
Jane.
Hi, HankMed.
Hi.
Excuse me for a minute.
Evan.
Hey, Dad.
l'm a nincompoop.
You're That's quite an icebreaker.
No, no, no.
Listen.
l forgot the date.
l forgot the damn date.
No, no, no l'm so sorry.
lt's cool.
lt's fine.
No, it is not.
How could l forget my son's birthday? lt's only one of the two greatest days of my life.
Apology accepted.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Carry on.
Although Hey, Dad, while you're here, you want to play some laser tag? For old times' sake? lt's fine with me, as long as you're okay with Divya destroying you.
That's the beautiful part of it.
He's horrible, right? Dad's horrible.
So, we just play two on two.
We give Divya Dad, so she's now saddled up with, like, a massive weak spot.
Then, we can actually win.
You know he can hear you.
Yeah, no, no.
And l'm loving every word of it.
You know, l would love to be on your team, Divya, and just take you both down.
But l have someplace to go.
Can l have a rain check? Mmm-hmm.
Show them no mercy.
Okay.
Thanks.
Bye.
Bye.
(CHUCKLlNG) l can't lt should be you and me versus her.
Yeah.
Bring it.
All right.
All right.
So, um, l'm going to take the left flank.
All right.
You take the right So, l'll just All right.
But just listen You take the left.
BOTH: One, two, three.
Take no prisoners! (BEEPlNG) l'll take the right flank.
Good call.
Wow.
You must be Boris, huh? l've heard a lot about you.
Eddie R.
Lawson.
Yes, l know who you are, Mr.
Lawson.
l know exactly who you are.