Succession (2018) s02e10 Episode Script

1 GIL EAVIS: Mr.
Logan Roy What did you know about wrongdoing in your cruise division by means of the keeping of shadow logs? I believe my son was across that operation.
It seems that a number of documents were signed out by a Gregory Hirsch.
Is that someone known to you, Mr.
Wambsgans? Uh, no, no, sorry.
- No? - No, Tom? I need you to chase down the Sovereign Wealth money.
You guys have the muscle - to take us private? - Yes.
Could you come to Turkey? Pitch to me? Are these terrorists? And, um, where's my fucking security guy? Where's Dave? You're the target of another bid.
Isn't that a problem? Not to make this all about us, but are they going to shoot us at any point? You told me nothing about you stepping aside.
You broke something here.
They have someone else for a victim.
Could we find out what she wants? I'm not going in.
I'm out.
I don't want to be part of this.
You think we're through? Not with the shareholders.
Time for a blood sacrifice.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (CAMERAS CLICKING) (GAVEL BANGS) - SENATOR: Mr.
Hirsch, please rise.
- Raise your right hand.
Do you swear that the testimony you're about to give this committee is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? - I do.
- Please take a seat.
Senator Eavis, it's your time.
Gregory Hirsch, executive assistant to Tom Wambsgans, correct? GREG HIRSCH: Yes.
(CLEARS THROAT) Yes, if it is to be said.
I'm sorry? Uh If it is to be said, so it be so it is.
Are you all right? Uh Yes.
Uh I merely wish to answer in the affirmative fashion.
GIL EAVIS: You can speak to us normally.
Okay, no Thank you, sir.
Uh Uh So I shall.
GREG: (ON DEVICE) be better than anyone else, uh, if I may be so bold as to declare.
- EAVIS: Really? - GREG: No, absolutely So, what do you think? HUGO BAKER: Me? If you added Karolina that's a decent bundle of leadership meat to feed the sharks.
Slippery cunt.
Knife your boss? You're a nasty bastard, aren't you? Hey, you asked, Logan.
Is he safe? Who? Roman.
We got him a doctor, a shrink, fresh clothes, we - we got him everything he needs.
- (PHONE VIBRATES) - - (SIGHS) Oh, what? Oh, no.
No.
How's he fucking calling me direct now? - Sorry.
- I got his fucking message! - No.
- I know.
I (STUTTERS) (LOGAN GRUNTS) Good to connect, Phillipe.
No, you stay.
PHILLIPE LAYTON: (OVER PHONE) I'm really sorry to bother you.
Oh I've always got time for my big shareholders.
I'm on my way to see Datu in Venice.
He's very supportive.
Very bullish.
PHILLIPE: Uh-huh.
That's great.
But I just wanted to check in, because here's our position, and I'm gonna summarize.
But obviously, no shareholder ordinarily would back a CEO facing the press you're getting, not to mention the litigation.
Well, of course, these aren't (CHUCKLES) normal circumstances.
Uh I'm a tough bastard, but I invest.
I mean, you can't just flog the fucking donkey for a few more laps and then let it die.
Yes we've hit a squall but it's over I'm coming through and I hope you're joining the party.
Great, but here's the thing, and this is strictly between us, but we need some cover, you know? The cruise stuff, congressional hearings, this kid today.
Now, I want to vote your ticket on the fundamentals.
I just need something to show you get it.
Mm-hm.
Yeah, well, I gotta process.
Uh you need a name? Uh Gerri? Karl? Frank? Look, this is a hard call to make, Logan, but honestly, this thing feels so toxic I've been taking soundings and we we feel that probably it should be you.
Uh-huh.
So, yeah.
That's why I thought I should be in touch.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, let me think on that.
Let me think on that.
Thanks, Logan.
Not an easy call.
Not an easy one.
No.
No, no, no.
Sure, sure.
Yeah.
Let me think.
- Bye.
- (PHONE PINGS) I tell you what.
Greg might be talking himself onto your list.
Want a coffee? I I wanna (SIGHS) (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) (ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS) CONNOR ROY: You okay? WILLA: Guess I just felt a little bit weird, you know, leaving it all.
Ah, it's perfect.
Leave after opening night.
Return in triumph.
Yeah, I don't need to see the reviews, you know, I don't care.
Exactly.
The play's brilliant.
Who cares what some old white dude from The New York Times says? Shoes off, baby.
I mean, they might like it.
- They might love it.
- CONNOR: Yeah.
Maybe we can read the reviews in like a week or two.
Sure.
I mean, obviously, I have to read them after Michelle sends the roundup.
Because? Because I'll have to find out if I'm financially ruined.
- SHIV ROY: I'll go.
- Hey! - First aboard.
- Hey.
CONNOR: Early worm catches the best cabin.
- WILLA: Hi! - Port out.
Starboard home.
Welcome to our city on the water.
- (TOM CLEARS THROAT) - It's like Venice, - but it smells nice.
- SHIV: Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Looks delicious.
Hey.
Is that her? - No, stop asking.
I'll tell you.
- Okay.
- You excited? - (CHUCKLES) Yeah Yeah! I am no, uh-huh.
Yeah.
Is this person Is she still definitely into it? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No, she's all primed.
- Okay.
- Yeah, we Facetimed.
- She's lovely.
- Okay.
(CHUCKLES) 'Cause you seem a little No! No, it's great.
It's great.
It's It's the dream.
I mean It is.
Threesome.
It's amazing.
- Ew! Is this Marcia's refit? - SHIV: Wow.
Yeah.
It's like her version of cutting up his ties.
No, because I want you to see the benefits of the arrangement.
No! Yes, thank you! Thank you.
And it's really, really exciting.
It's, uh But do you not think that with the with the family all around, it might be a little I mean, why are we here? What is this? Well, idea was a family mini break.
Post-Congress, pre-shareholder meet.
You know.
Like, close family, and inflatables, and mimosas, and the CFO, and the general counsel.
Yeah, you know, vacation's not a vacation without the chief financial officer.
Yeah.
GREG: Like, I just keep thinking about things I wish I said to the senators.
Like, I almost wish I just started out with, like, "No woman, no cry".
Like, what if I said, "No woman, no cry" - to every single question? - Right.
Or, like, "I volunteer as tribute".
KENDALL ROY: What do you think? You like it? Uh-huh.
"Uh-huh"? - No, it's - Just "Uh-huh"? No, n No, it's nice.
I feel like it's a little more than "Uh-huh".
You You have, uh, reservations? No, du No, it's great I mean, it's a very nice ship.
It's definitely a big ship.
Um All right, well, Marcia had it refitted so you gotta take your shoes off.
Shoes off? Uh I might not.
Oh.
No.
That's the one rule on these things, man.
Teak deck, no shoes.
Uh What if What if your toenails are not all that aesthetically pleasing? Sails out, nails out, bro.
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS) - (CONNOR LAUGHS) - WILLA: Hmm? Hey, uh, apparently Have you heard this? - What? - I'm a GIF now! (LAUGHS) One of the Conheads sent it in.
- I'm a meme.
- You're a meme? Yeah.
I got memed.
Ha! (CONNOR LAUGHS) Oh, the Conheads are loving this.
You know, this is really all very, very positive.
- (TABLET PINGS) - Whoa! - Okay.
Mother lode.
- What? Full bundle just came in from PR Michelle.
Oh, God, I can't bear it.
Okay, go ahead.
I'll just look at your face and I'll get them that way.
- CONNOR: Yeah? - Yeah.
(SCOFFS) Is that goodie? Did you read a goodie? (SQUEALS) (WILLA LAUGHS) Oh, fuck it! Just tell me.
Come on.
How are they? Uh A mixture.
Okay, well, read me one.
Read me one good one.
- Okay.
Okay.
- Right.
Well, what did The Times say? Oh, baby, you know what? I think let's just have a good time, and then, you know, when we're ready for a laugh - Come on, let me take a look.
- You know, why don't we just Just give me the thing.
Just stop.
- Where Where is it? - It's No.
Here.
Just Just ignore the headline, okay? - Disregard that because - (YELLS) (SPLASHES) (ALL CHEERING) SHIV: Here they are, the heroes of Asia.
Asia Minor! (SHIV LAUGHS) The lions of Turkey! ROMAN ROY: Roar.
Hi.
- Good to see you, man.
- KENDALL: You look like shit.
- Welcome back, man.
- ROMAN: Yup.
FRANK: Back like Odysseus.
Did you ride out on sheep? SHIV: Yeah, I heard you took down an army alone, bro.
GERRI KELLMAN: That would have been really traumatizing if you weren't already so fucked up.
KENDALL: Who'd you suck off to get out? You were staying at a Four Seasons, right? So how did you escape? Did you Did you, like, build a glider - out of a Caesar salad? - (LAUGHTER) Uh You know what? Uh It was actually fucking scary, and we thought that they might kill us, but yeah.
(MOCKING GIBBERISH) "Caesar salad".
- Sorry, dude.
Seriously.
- No, it's all right.
Uh Yeah, yeah.
You know, they raped me a little, but I'm no hero.
Parentheses, I'm an incredible hero.
- Sorry, bro.
- Yeah.
It's fine It's fine.
I'm tired, or whatever.
It was funny.
Karl almost shat in a bucket, and I have it on my phone, so we will fully humiliate him later.
Oh, good.
Yeah, excellent.
Yeah, do that.
That's, uh - That'll be great.
- I will tell you one thing.
I could use one of those fucking cold beers.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- CONNOR: Okay.
So, how'd it all go, business wise? - Or did that get forgotten? - GREG: Oh, y Uh We can't say too much about that.
Oh! Okay, promising.
Well, it's confidential, but the kid did good.
- CONNOR: Hey.
That's fantastic.
- TOM: Okie-doke.
- CONNOR: Hey.
- TOM: Nice.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
Thank you.
- KENDALL: Glad you're okay.
(SOMBER ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS) KENDALL: Rome, how you doin', buddy? - You good? - Swell.
So, go on.
You haven't told me yet.
How was DC? KENDALL: What, uh, the hearings? Mm-hm.
Uh Yeah.
Pretty fucking real.
Yeah.
I watched.
You did good.
Okay.
What? Go on.
"F For a crack head moron on crack".
Mm No.
No, you did okay.
Yeah, Ken nailed it.
- KENDALL: Thanks.
- ROMAN: Ken did great.
It was Tom who farted in his shit.
You know, a lot of people are saying I was deadcatting.
They saying that? Really? "Deadcat".
You never heard of that? - ROMAN: No.
- Well Dead cat on the table.
Suddenly, everyone's looking at the dead cat, and not talking talking about your dad.
Right.
No, no, you drew - you drew the fire.
Yeah.
- Thank you.
ROMAN: So, what's the thinking? Rhea's out, right? Uh-huh.
Rhea's out.
Melted.
But she's agreed to not say anything publicly until after the shareholder meeting, so ROMAN: Okay, so, then instead of Rhea whose big, hairy foot's gonna fit in the glass slipper? Washington Ken? Me? Uh No.
Nope.
I mean, Rome.
- If you brought the goose home.
- ROMAN: (SIGHS) Maybe.
KENDALL: Could be anybody.
I mean, why is Greg here? ROMAN: I always ask that question.
Hey, Greg.
You ready to step up? Uh It's a fungus, they think.
Benign fungus.
Great title for your memoir.
- What's that? - TOM: A Benign Fungus.
That her? - Yeah.
- Yes? GREG: She's grossed out a little.
ROMAN: I did think when I thought, you know, they were gonna vacuum out my innards and fill me with concrete or something Look, if we come through this is there a thing where we like talk to each other about stuff normally? SHIV: (IN SILLY VOICE) You wanna talk to each other normally? - Okay.
- (LAUGHTER) (IN SILLY VOICE) You mean - talk about the big shit? - ROMAN: Okay.
SHIV: Yeah, we can talk about the big shit.
We can talk about - our feelings.
- (LAUGHTER) How am I the mature one here? SHIV: We don't have any feelings, what are you talking about? (LAUGHS) - Who is this helping? - (HELICOPTER WHIRS) (SHIV LAUGHS) Okay.
Emotional gunship incoming.
Yeah, send out the distress signal.
We're under attack.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) - CONNOR: Hey! Welcome.
- SHIV: Hey, Dad! Hi! Hi, hi, hi.
Hi.
- Hey.
Hey.
- SHIV: Here he is.
Hey! (CHUCKLES) Roman.
Laird.
Karl.
Business.
LOGAN: So - are you okay? - ROMAN: Yeah.
- I heard it got a bit tasty.
- Nyeah.
We're fine.
I've had worse experiences at hotels.
I once stayed at a Marriott.
They look after you? I spoke to the White House.
Yeah, they said they sent a warship, but I don't know, I think it was already there.
Then the ambassador took us out for a shitty lunch and someone from the agency gave us the ol' Merlot waterboard.
So on the money.
What's the situation? - Well, the kid did great.
- (ROMAN GROANS) I think, Mr.
Roy, you can take your firm private.
- LOGAN: Yeah? - Yeah.
Eduard and his father have titular responsibility for the sovereign wealth, but the president's daughter's husband, Zeynal, is the key guy now, and Roman (CHUCKLES) slam dunked it.
Uh Well, it was clear that Eduard was getting sidelined, and then Zeynal figured out who we were.
I thought we were gonna get taken for a fucking chainsaw massage, but no.
We got an hour, pitched hard, and yeah, they say they want in.
Too modest; he killed.
You should put a gun to his head more often.
(CHUCKLES) The Azeris say they can put in ten bil.
Laird can put together the rest, and the exit horizon's like six years.
And you like it, Jaime? Yeah.
Yeah, I like it.
I think they can move fast and, uh this sort of situation's all about relationships.
LOGAN: Well, that's (LAUGHS) that's great.
- That's fucking fantastic.
- (LAIRD CHUCKLES) You can tell your spooked shareholders to go whistle.
ROMAN: Um I do have to say one thing, Dad.
Uh-huh.
JAIME LAIRD: Uh Roman, we're good.
I mean I did have a good conversation with Zeynal, and he said, with his mouth, that he wanted in and that's all great.
But if this is really serious for us, I think I actually do have to say it feels like it is probably horse shit.
LAIRD: Uh Come, come, kiddo.
ROMAN: They were flaky.
There was a lot of shit going on.
Roman um, they want to rebalance their portfolio.
- Mm-hm.
- LAIRD: Um Uh, for a variety of geopolitical reasons, uh, they're heavily European-focused and he wants to tilt Western Hemisphere.
Uh It's very logical.
I know that it's it's a lot of money and that can be scary, but it it makes sense.
Well, sorry for worrying my pretty, little head, but if they're rebalancing their portfolio, it's fucking insane to do it with one ten-bil mega-deal rather than a ton spread across different sectors.
LAIRD: They said yes, Roman.
ROMAN: Well, sure, they said yes.
And maybe it's real.
Maybe.
There's a ten to 20 percent chance that you make what, like, 100 million here? That's very exciting.
But if we miss, we could be fucked, because it gets out we're looking at this kind of money, it's going to be politically horrible.
If we fail we lose the proxy vote and we die.
Right? If it falls halfway through it's terminal.
But if it works, one bound and you're free.
Son? ROMAN: Dad, I have to say, I've done a little bullshitting in my time.
He was a cokey, bullshit, 3:00 a.
m.
scotch and see-you-in-the-morning man.
He ain't showing up.
- (GROANS) - Laird, be fucking honest.
He was bleating to Karl.
His contacts are all dying, and he's gonna get shoved aside as the senior advisor unless he pulls major gravy this year.
I don't even know what to say to that.
ROMAN: Then don't say anything.
Dad, I wish it was real.
I really fucking do, but Karl.
You can't lean on this.
Not now.
Yeah, but if you don't get this, your other option is what? I'm sorry, Jaime.
Keep exploring, keep talking, but I cannot pile my chips on something that isn't solid.
Ah, that is just excellent.
(SIGHS) You are way off, Roman.
And thank you, Karl.
I hope you enjoy the king's favors, because you know what you're looking at if you don't go private.
- Laird - Someone has to pay the price.
Uh Maybe you, Roman, or maybe one of your siblings.
I suppose you'll have a fun little time ruining a life.
SEC DOJ Foreign and Corrupt Practices.
(SIGHS) Someone's getting tossed out of the balloon and someone is likely going to jail.
So, goodnight, ladies.
Goodnight sweet ladies.
And good luck.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) KENDALL: Hey.
How'd that go? I think maybe not the solution.
So, it's gonna get, uh choppy.
I can't fucking believe it.
Me? I never did anything really.
(CHUCKLES) (GROANS) A good Catholic lad who couldn't even take his undershirt off in front of his wife.
His ex-wife, whatever the fuck she is.
Me.
All the rest behave like a pack of fucking stray dogs.
No.
You know, Stewy's in Greece.
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
No.
No, son.
No.
No, I Fucking been there.
Oh shit! Okay, okay.
Get out of the way! Okay.
WILLA: I don't know if I want to.
Hey.
So I hear, uh - private's off, right? - WILLA: Okay! Ready? Just didn't trust them in the end.
I can't explain why.
'Cause you're a bit racist? I didn't think so, but there's always that possibility.
It's bad.
It's very, very bad.
Hey, Greg.
What are you drinking? Uh This is I'm not sure.
It's a It's a rosé.
It's not my favorite.
TOM: Ooh, you got a favorite champagne now.
GREG: Well you can't help noticing.
It's fine.
I'll drink it.
It's just not my favorite.
Well, you better drink up, brother, because if you end up carrying the can for cruises, you'll be back to drinking milk from a saucer.
We're going private.
(CLICKS TONGUE) - Deal's off.
- What? There's gonna be a head on a spike.
CONNOR: Hey, Pa.
Uh A quick one, not a biggie.
Um I need some help on reviews.
- The play? - Yeah.
Just a spritz of praise.
Some poster toppings.
The Chronicle or The Herald, just, uh could you lean a little bit? You know, something like Not this, but something like, "Kill for a ticket", or "The theatrical event of the season".
I do not like to lean on my people.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, come on.
I mean, you brought down a Canadian government over grain subsidies, you can't give me - one fucking lousy review? - Hey.
Hey, easy! I hear you jizzed 500K on a fake Napoleon dick.
That's irrelevant.
Look, Pa, I'm I'm actually hurtin' here.
It's a half a mil a week.
I've got Austerlitz, I've got my campaign, and I'm not super liquid, so I'm just I'm just wondering if I could hit you for like like, uh a little 100 mil.
- A little 100 mil? - Yeah.
Well, you know, maybe.
Maybe.
But you have to quit your campaign.
Wha Pa, no.
I got a whole team.
Just to financially indicate sound judgment, good intentions.
I'm floating policy, I got feelers, I got the Conheads (YELLS) It's a horseshit pipe dream.
Everybody thinks you're a joke.
And you're fucking embarrassing me.
Right.
Right.
Thanks for your honesty.
Pull the plug and we'll get into it all.
But now, I got bigger fish to fry.
- Uh-huh.
Nice.
Lovely.
- LOGAN: So, hey, uh, listen up.
I just wanted to say there are a lot of whispers going around, but I'm not going to make an announcement tonight.
I wanna do the best thing, the most decent thing, so, uh, tomorrow, we'll get into a discussion about our missteps and how we can indicate how sorry we are to the rest of the world.
Okay? We're all pals here.
Right? So tonight, drink up.
And tomorrow, we'll figure it out.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So, someone's getting shitcanned.
Let's get the party started.
So, Willa, - how's the play going? - Fuck off! ROMAN: How are you feelin'? Sick, anxious.
Why is he doing it like this do you think? How do you mean? (IMITATING LOGAN) "We're all pals here".
"Let's have a discussion".
Like he suddenly wants our views 'cause he loves advice.
- He's running a show trial.
- Mm-hm.
You get the whole politburo to sign the death warrant, then all our hands are bathed with blood.
Aw, that's nice and lovely.
Ooh, no reception.
Death cruise? Who are you thinking? - You know what? - What? Frank! I hear it's gonna be you.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, screw you.
- What have you heard? - ROMAN: I got a book going.
Want to put a million on yourself? I'll give you four-to-one odds.
Make that ride home much sweeter.
Okay, are we What exactly are we hearing here? I'm hearing Frank.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
What do you mean, "Uh-huh"? He's bullshitting.
KARL: Well, it's plausible.
It's plausible.
You're plausible.
Hey, I didn't say I wasn't.
No, you're actually a prime candidate.
Six-to-one.
This This This is horrible.
Roman, we're real people.
ROMAN: You are not.
You claim to be real, but look at ya.
Look at ya! - KENDALL: Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- KENDALL: Cool shades, bro.
- Uh-huh.
Your shorts match your rosé.
Was that planned - or just a Yeah.
- All right.
I'm coming.
So.
When were you gonna ask? Naomi? I I did.
I I asked Kerry to send word to No? Um I mean, yeah.
I, uh I like her, Dad.
And, uh thought it could be a rough weekend and I know there's history, but I mean, she's she's kind of a good one for me, Dad.
Right.
I wasn't properly informed.
And I'm just not sure we have enough provisions.
I found her a great support - in DC - I need privacy for everything.
- Yeah, she gets it.
- For everything.
Yeah, I know.
She'll She'll stay out of the way.
I I mean, she's great.
I mean I just don't want you fucked on drugs.
And she's part of it.
Isn't she? Should I do the knock and invite her up? TOM: Well, I (CHUCKLES) I mean, right? Yeah? - Yeah? - Yeah.
Yeah! - Okay.
- Okay.
(CHUCKLES) TOM: (COUGHS) There is kind of kind of death-sentence vibes, but, uh yeah.
It's good.
- Okay.
- (TOM CHUCKLES) I wonder I wonder if there is something we could do.
Um I don't know if I have the vim for the full dirty.
- So, we - Oh! (STUTTERS) But we could, um What? Come on, you can say.
Could I watch? - I mean - Oh, yeah! Or even better.
Could she watch us? Uh Yeah.
She could - She She could watch us.
- Yeah.
- Kind of sexy, huh? - I mean, I would have to see if she's But it's - Yeah.
Like, I I mean - Fine.
I'm sure I will, 'cause it's so hot.
But there is a chance Just a health warning.
There's a chance that I might I might not be able to perform.
- Because I can't I don't know.
- Oh, Tom, no.
Probably because I haven't done a stadium gig before.
(LAUGHS) Honey, you'll be fine.
- We'll help you.
- (LAUGHS) Or she could not watch.
We could put her in the bathroom and she could look through the keyhole.
Uh Tom, I feel like you're turning our threesome into a twosome.
Huh.
I just I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.
I just don't I've I don't know how I don't feel that naughty tonight.
Uh Okay.
That's fine.
Yeah, I just thought we could - Sorry.
- No.
No, no, no.
- I thought it would be something - No, it's that we could do that would be exciting for us.
- No, it's - That's okay.
Uh It's good, 'cause I have to go and talk to Dad anyway about tomorrow, so (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) (WINDOW BLIND WHIRS) (GROANS LIGHTLY) Hey.
Did she come? Ah.
Ah.
Come with me.
I I just, um It's a big time.
Yeah, no, of course.
Nay, come on.
This This is like objectively a crisis.
I'm sorry.
I am.
(STUTTERS) He loves me.
He He He He does, I think it's just a wrong kind of love expression.
Yeah.
Ken, he loves the broken you.
That's what he loves.
Maybe I'll meet you there.
Maybe.
- (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) - (BOAT ENGINE HUMS) Hi.
- Hi.
- Good morning, sir.
May I offer you something to drink? I will take a full bottle of Burgundy.
- TONY: Certainly.
- Please.
Thank you.
For breakfast, Con? Well, yes, for breakfast.
Why not? LOGAN: All right.
Um Let's have a swim or relax, and then we can chat.
ROMAN: I don't know how relaxing a time I'm personally going to be able to have, but sure.
Well, it's not gonna be you, man, so you can chill.
Yeah, I know, but I don't know what he has in mind.
- GERRI: What do you have in mind? - Enough.
Okay? We stick together.
Most things don't exist.
The Ford Motor Company hardly exists.
It's just a time-saving expression for a collection of financial interests.
But this exists, because - (WHISPERS) "Family".
- LOGAN: it's a family.
We are a family.
So I think I think the obvious choice is me.
So, that's what I'd like to announce.
No.
No, you can't.
Well, you know, I may not be responsible, but the buck has to stop somewhere.
- SHIV: No.
- TOM: No, never.
Never.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) SHIV: Not in the middle of a proxy fight.
KENDALL: I don't think so, Dad.
I don't think so.
No.
I mean, maybe a maybe a timetable, but actually go doesn't work.
When people find Rhea isn't coming in, we need stability.
LOGAN: Yeah, yeah.
You may be right.
I need one meaningful skull to wave.
If the shareholders' meeting were tomorrow, we lose.
I need to persuade a couple of big figures.
So anyone like to say anything? I'll take care of whoever it is.
No one will be forgotten.
Well, I mean, I If we're doing this, I don't want to spread shit around.
We're all loyal servants, but, so, I I only say without malice aforethought, presumably general counsel is center of the web.
Sorry, Gerri.
I like you.
There is no one more loyal than Gerri.
Exactly.
What about Frank? I mean, how come Frank is even here today? - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I could see it.
I'd take it.
- I make sense.
- ROMAN: Right? And after what he did to you, the boardroom coup? - Water under the bridge.
- FRANK: Right.
In which case I guess, in a certain way, my my indiscretion against the family, I would say objectively, makes me less of a compelling sacrifice, is the only thing I would say.
Unlike uh for instance a loyal servant like Karl.
Uh-huh.
Uh I - Thank you, Frank, for that.
- Mm-hm.
Uh Well, my thing, I guess, is that if, uh, Rhea is no more, sadly, uh, we're back to having, uh we're back to Gerri as named successor.
So, that fattens her up for the kill, so to speak.
I guess everyone knew I was always just a name on a piece of paper.
Right? (CHUCKLES) Oh I think you were always more than that.
- GERRI: I think that's exactly - And plus well, hang on.
Plus, you know, the old copy book is a bit blotty.
Expense accounts, daughters first class on the company coin.
- Right, Karl.
- KARL: Y Yeah.
"I just went for the sports massage.
I had no idea it was that sort of establishment".
- KARL: Okay.
- TOM: Karl sounds good.
- ROMAN: Mm-hm.
- Sausage thief.
You know, Gerri is theoretically kind of perfect.
- KARL: Hear, hear.
- ROMAN: Uh No, "theoretically".
No, that's bullshit.
I disagree.
- No.
- LOGAN: Why? Why do I disagree? Because that's my opinion.
Yeah, but your reasoning? Seriously, Gerri? To pay for cruises? We We take out a senior woman? Haven't we, you know, kidding here, killed enough women already? I mean, I think the obvious choice is, and I hate to say it because he's such a swell guy, is (MAKES WHIPPING NOISE) Tom.
- TOM: Excuse me? - Yeah.
Right? I know, but you know, head of cruises.
But I Well - I have been a loyal servant.
- Yeah, but, you know, if (STUTTERS) If this is, uh just laboratory time, human emotions extracted, Tom, I fucking love you, dude, but you shat the bed over Mo Lester.
But I was sent in there as the beating as the fucking beating man.
I took the beating.
KENDALL: You got suckered in by Eavis.
- I answered the questions.
- You don't answer the questions.
You don't answer the questions.
KENDALL: Okay, that's, like, rule one.
I'm I'm not beating up on you here.
I'm just saying, he got a win off you and you're kind of the face of this, and I don't know.
Look, I'm saying this, but I don't believe it.
I'm just I'm saying it, because this is the time we're all saying things.
Yeah, I think, uh, Tom works.
Just kind of a clarity, I think.
- ROMAN: Yeah.
- KARL: You know.
Anyone care to speak to my qualities? - No, Tom looks logical.
- What? - Cruises.
Document destruction.
- TOM: What? I'm not saying that it should be.
I mean, I I'm saying, you're like family, which is good, but also not family, which is kinda good.
Tom, it's the elephant in the room, we can say that.
No, we can't.
There's no need to say the elephant in the room.
There are 15 other elephants in the room.
Tom, the testimony, you - you kind of put a target on yourself.
- TOM: Why shouldn't it be you? - If it should be me, why why shouldn't it be you? - SHIV: I've never even been in I'm not attacking you, I'm defending you.
Well, it doesn't feel like that.
It doesn't feel like that.
Okay.
Fine.
How do I work? I don't know! I don't know.
I'm just I'm not saying you.
I'm just saying.
GERRI: I mean, I guess if we were saying Shiv, we'd highlight witness tampering and, uh, you know, that she was gonna take over, but I don't know, it probably it probably doesn't work.
Uh Yeah.
Too right it doesn't fucking work.
I don't make sense.
I've never been inside.
What about both of them? Shiv and Tom.
Beauty and the beast.
Does Tom work? Honestly, Tom I don't think he's a big enough skull.
No offense.
Then how about Tom with some fucking Greg sprinkles? What? Greg sprinkles? ROMAN: Yeah, just a party pack.
You as a sweetener.
CONNOR: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Yeah.
Elmo and Big Bird, I could start to see that.
And then you throw in, like, a Karl, - or a Frank, or a Ray.
- ROMAN: Okay.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER) - Yeah, yeah.
No, no.
Why not? Oh, these are just examples.
No, of course.
Yeah, no, just go ahead, - worked for you for 23 years.
- What What precisely - are Greg sprinkles? - ROMAN: Greg sprinkles are basically a fantastic garnish to basically anyone seated at this table.
- Okay.
- Like a Tom sundae with a with a little Greg cherry on top.
- (POPS) Perfect.
- GREG: Oh.
No, I object.
I really do.
I I mean - ROMAN: Who cares? - I'm more than a sprinkle.
(CHUCKLES) You know? What about you? - What about Roman? - What about me? Let's hear it.
What's the pitch? You're widely known as a horrible person.
Thanks, toe jam, why don't you It could be Roman.
There's another elephant in the room.
But what about I just throw myself over the side? - Huh? - KARL: Didn't see that coming.
Yeah, in return for a little payout.
I'm cash strapped, so just strap me into that sweet, sweet golden parachute and toss me in the volcano.
Uh I'm sorry.
I just don't I don't see that.
Like, look, okay, you say, you know, eminence grise.
- What? - So, uh, old Richelieu here, uh, skulking around in the background, pulling the strings all these years.
Who knew? The maligned influencer finally rid of.
That's, um, that's kind of you, Con.
Thank you.
And, uh we'll bear it in mind.
Yeah, so I, uh I need to reflect.
I mean, we've, uh half an idea, but, uh Yeah.
Later? What's What? We have half an idea? What's a half an idea? - Ken.
Can I get one word? - Yeah, sure.
("NORTH AMERICAN SCUM" BY LCD SOUNDSYSTEM PLAYS ON HEADPHONES) - (MUSIC ENDS) - (SIGHS) What's up? (PANTS) Are we okay? I told her she was welcome, but, uh - she's on a hair trigger.
- Oh.
Yeah, I don't know.
She, um She just I don't know.
Is Stewy available? Okay, um I think so.
He's on Paxos.
Yeah.
It might be humiliating.
Yeah, sure.
But what I ought to do, I don't wanna do.
TOM: No, not this one.
I don't like it.
SHIV: You don't like it? What's wrong with this one? - TOM: I can see a sea urchin.
- SHIV: Oh, come on! Tom! TOM: Next cove, please, Julius.
There are infinite coves.
Let's find the perfect one.
KENDALL: Thanks for meeting, man.
STEWY HOSSEINI: Please.
Please, please, please, come, come, come, sir.
How are you, sir? Please, take a seat.
You guys need anything? Yeah, don't wait for us or anything.
STEWY: (LAUGHS) I waited, but I was really hungry.
You guys good? You guys need anything? Uh Maybe in a minute.
Well, uh look.
We both know it's a it's a knife's edge.
You may have it.
We may have it.
Our proxy advisors tell us we probably have it.
- Mm-hm.
- And, um Dad? You look a little sweaty, dude.
LOGAN: Okay.
Okay.
So, I've come to make a deal.
This isn't a negotiation.
It's a one-bang, final-deal offer and it's generous.
So don't insult me with a counter.
I say this, we eat some octopi, we shake hands.
Okay? Okay, I love that.
I really do.
Three board seats, including Ken's.
You get a codified say in the appointment of our next CEO.
We remove our poison pill, conduct a strategic review on terms co-set with you, dismiss all our litigation on the proxy battle.
Spin off cruises.
Okay? No, I don't think that works.
- KENDALL: The fuck do you mean? - Bullshit.
Are you fucking stupid? You have to consider that.
You have to ask Sandy.
- That is a good fucking deal.
- It does not work for us, sir.
Dude.
I mean, are are you fucking for real? I mean, you you need to fucking make it work.
Okay? Or I will personally fucking destroy you.
- I will come to you at night - STEWY: Ken, it does not work - for u - with a fucking razor blade and I will cut - your fucking dick off.
- Fucking dick off.
- KENDALL: And I will feed it - And then push it up your cunt until poo poo pops out of my nose hole.
Dude, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't mean anything.
You can threaten to stuff a million severed dicks into my ball bag, but the actual fact is, we're persuading more and more shareholders every day that we offer them just a slightly better chance for them to make a little bit more money on their fucking dollar, and that's all that this is.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) You wanna talk? Why would I wanna talk? Fine.
TOM: You fucking You fucking toasted me, Shiv.
You You fried me.
Tom I have to be an honest broker.
To save you, I can't be seen to be acting in self-interest.
I got shitty advice before the hearing, Shiv.
You know, I don't know about that.
I got hung out to dry.
I love you.
Uh-huh.
Great.
Thanks.
No? I don't know.
I love you.
I love this rock.
Bye, rock.
You're dead.
What does it mean? I won't let anything happen to you.
You told me You told me you wanted an open relationship on our fucking wedding night.
Is Uh Y So, you've been stewing on that? Well, yes.
I have been stewing on that, actually.
I'm not a hippie Shiv.
I don't want to stuff a dildo up my I don't want I don't want to do threesomes.
- Okay.
- On our wedding night? Bang! Shanghaied into a into a open-borders free-fuck trade deal.
It (SCOFFS) - It was just an idea.
- Well that's that's a biggie just to throw in at the altar.
You know? "I do.
I do, but I do maybe also demand to gobble the odd side-dick".
"Gobble the odd side-dick"? I don't think it was cool what you did.
I just I think, you know I think a lot of time, if I think about it, I think a lot of time, I'm really pretty unhappy.
What are you saying? I don't know.
I love you, I do.
I just, uh I wonder if I wonder if the sad I'd be without you would be less than the sad I get from being with you.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) Well, I'm s I'm I'm sorry, Tom.
I'll talk to Logan.
No.
I'll talk to Logan.
It's fine.
I'm fine.
Hey.
You okay, Tom? (INHALES, EXHALES) What the fuck? TOM: Thank you, Logan.
- LOGAN: Tom? - Thank you for the chicken.
What the fuck was that? I I don't know.
I think, uh it's getting to people, Dad.
The tension.
He ate my fucking chicken.
- Mm-hm.
- So, what next? Stick his cock into my potato salad? SHIV: Uh (LOGAN SIGHS) You, uh You wavering? (SIGHS) Documents and cruises.
Mm.
Maybe Tom.
Gerri.
Or Greg instead.
(SIGHS) Okay.
Tom.
I'll take care of him.
Would he flip? Prison time? Uh Why not you know what we discussed? Ken works.
He was across the whole thing.
It hurts.
It plays.
Obviously.
I just think that, uh, Tom doesn't deserve it and, uh, it doesn't work for the rest of the world.
I don't.
So What do you think? Uh It's the sort of tough choice people need to be able to make.
People who would be very senior people.
I can't choose, Dad.
No.
No.
(SIGHS) Just not, um Just not Tom.
Please.
For me.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) (SNIFFS) (INAUDIBLE) (INAUDIBLE) (INAUDIBLE) Hey, Dad.
Hey, son.
I can't do any more of that shit from this morning.
KENDALL: No.
No, sure.
I bet.
(SIGHS) Greg Tom Doesn't work.
Won't add up.
Right.
No, I see that.
And they won't accept me.
KENDALL: Mm-hm I get it.
I do.
LOGAN: You know, uh Marcia and I used to read to each other.
I'd read her history.
You know, Spengler, Gibbon, the big boys.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
LOGAN: The Incas in times of terrible crisis would sacrifice a child to the sun.
I said to her they were a bunch of fucking savages.
- KENDALL: Mm-hm.
- Her thing was what could you possibly kill that you love so much it would make the sun rise again? She said that.
Okay.
(LOGAN SIGHS) I miss her.
It's okay, Dad.
It's okay.
Thank you.
Thank you, son.
(SIGHS) The hearings you did so well.
But now you're the face.
You were across the clean-up.
The optics make sense.
And what's more I trust you.
I trust you in case it turns or - gets nasty.
- Yep.
Yep.
No, I get it.
So, uh we'll set up a press conference.
And, uh you'll admit that you knew everything and that you directed the cover up, and, uh it went no higher.
- Mm-hm.
Okay.
- Okay? (SIGHS) Hey, Dad, I just out of interest, um Did you ever think I could do it? Do what? The top job? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe.
You can say.
I Well, you know, I just You know, you're smart, you're good, but I I just don't know.
What? Come on.
You're not a killer.
You have to be a killer.
But now-a-days maybe you don't.
I don't know.
Okay? - Are we good? You good? - Yeah.
I deserve it.
Maybe I deserve it.
- Oh, no, son.
- Yeah, for everything.
No, no, no.
God, no.
It's good to pay? The boy? Nah Nah, nah, nah, nah.
Not that.
NRPI.
You're the best.
Don't beat yourself up.
No real person involved.
You know, it's it's nothing.
Right.
Shall we? KARL: Gerri, we've been on a million of these things (INDISTINCT CHATTER) GREG: It's a nice color.
Yeah.
I know, it's really I've decided.
Ken? Come on, really? Dad, no.
There's - (KENDALL CLEARS THROAT) - ROMAN: What about the one of the shitfuckers? Hey, it's okay.
Guys, you're off the hook.
You okay? Yeah.
I'm good.
KARL: And is it just I don't want to be rude.
Just him? Uh Yeah, are there any additionals First Second-born son with your responsibilities, it will be a very simple sell.
Roman you're taking over as full chief operating officer.
Oh, yeah? What with fucking Captain Cautious back in the next room? No, no.
Frank's gonna be responsible for the cruises clean up.
You're on your own.
Solo.
Can you handle it? Well, yeah.
Yeah, Dad, that's (UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) really exciting.
KENDALL: No, Rome.
It's great.
Okay, guys, eat up.
This one's on me.
KENDALL: You okay, dude? You know, if you need to use the bathroom you can use the bathroom.
I'm not gonna jump out the window.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, I'll go.
Yeah, I just, uh Just for what it's worth, I'm sorry about this whole I I just think what your dad's doing is - Anyway, I'm sorry.
- Yep.
Thank you.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) KAROLINA NOVOTNEY: Okay.
You okay, Ken? There's water by the side if you need it.
I'm gonna let them hit like three questions and then that's it.
Okay? Your dad just texted.
He's watching.
- (DOOR OPENS) - (REPORTERS CLAMORING) - Hey.
- SHIV: Hey.
You okay? Yeah.
Just, uh just can't eat.
- LOGAN: No.
- (EXHALES) It's okay, Shiv.
It's okay.
It had to be done.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV) Yeah.
Poor bastard.
(CAMERAS CLICKING) Good morning.
Mr.
Roy has a prepared statement he'd like to read.
And then, he'll take a few questions.
Thank you.
Good morning.
I have an announcement to make about wrongdoing at Waystar Royco in advance of the upcoming shareholder meeting.
I have been asked to explain my own role in the managing of illegality at the firm and associated cover ups.
And it has been suggested I would be a suitable figure to absorb the anger and concern.
But the truth is that my father is a malignant presence - (REPORTERS GASP, CLAMOR) - a bully, and a liar and he was fully personally aware of these events for many years and made efforts to hide and cover up.
He had a twisted sense of loyalty to bad actors like Lester McClintock Fuck me.
and a disregard for the safety of migrant workers, non-union and union workers and for vulnerable performers and guests.
My father keeps a watchful eye over every inch of his whole empire, and the notion that he would have allowed millions of dollars in settlements and compensation to be paid without his explicit approval is utterly fanciful.
(REPORTERS CLAMORING) I have with me, today, copies of records that show his personal sign off.
How much those of us who executed his wishes bear responsibility is for another day.
But I think this is the day his reign ends.
(REPORTERS CLAMORING) (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) I'll be providing the documents and can answer any questions you may have in the coming days.
Thank you very much.
REPORTER: Mr.
Roy! Do you have anything to say to the victims of these crimes? Did your father know you were making this statement today? - Mr.
Roy.
- Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! (MUSIC CONTINUES) LOGAN ROY: Just wanted to say there are a lot of whispers going around, but I'm not going to make an announcement tonight.
Tomorrow, we'll figure it out.
So Someone's getting shitcanned.
Let's get the party started.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) In the writer's room, we always called it a balloon debate, which I don't know if you have that phrase in the U.
S.
of like, you're in a hot air balloon and it's sinking, who do you throw out to let everyone else live? There's an element of that in the middle of the episode.
I think the obvious choice is Tom.
KARL MULLER: Tom works.
Anyone care to speak to my qualities? - No.
Tom looks logical.
- What?! If it should be me, why shouldn't it be you? I'm not attacking you, I'm defending you.
Well, it doesn't feel like that, doesn't feel like it.
Tom comes under the spotlight as a really quite a compelling candidate to get the chop.
He feels unsupported by Shiv, which I guess snowballs into him revealing a bunch of other feelings about the relationship.
I'm not a hippie.
I don't want to do threesomes.
If I think about it, I think a lot of the time, I'm really pretty unhappy.
I think the relationship is complex, and they both get different things from each other.
In regard to the elements of the show, it's about that delicate moment of which you say, "That's too much.
I can't do this anymore".
- KENDALL ROY: Hey, Dad.
- LOGAN: Hey, son.
The hearings, you did so well.
And now you're the face.
You're across the cleanup, the optics make sense.
And, what's more, I trust you.
I guess Logan feels that that Kendall's a good candidate.
You know, I think he has a certain amount of residual resentment against him because of what happened in the previous season.
Kendall is somebody he can really trust.
In a situation like that, you need someone who's not gonna flip, or do exactly what Kendall does.
The truth is, that my father is a malignant presence (GASPS, MURMURING) a bully, and a liar, and he was fully personally aware of these events for many years and made efforts to hide and cover up.
We knew pretty early on, the shape of the season for Kendall, from where he begins, which is in this entirely submissive, really beaten dog, who ends up denouncing his father.
It felt like a true shape to us, you know, as long as we could honor all the different stages of that journey.
This is the day his reign ends.
JESSE ARMSTRONG: They're in trouble.
They've got a shareholder meeting in a couple of weeks, which is on a knife edge, and is not going to have been helped by the revelation by Kendall that Logan was completely across all the corporate misdeeds of the company.
The family relationships are gonna be something of a shit show.
So, it's either well-poised or a terrible mess, depending on how you look at it.
(MUSIC CONCLUDES)