SurrealEstate (2021) s02e10 Episode Script

1
- Previously on SurrealEstate.
- Look out!
There's no way this ends with
you staying in this apartment.
This was supposed to be my forever home.
Zooey, this is, ah, Rochelle.
The power it's all back?
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [HIGH-PITCHED TONE]
It was my mom. I touched her hand
and it was like plugging
into a 12-gauge speaker wire.
[HOUSE VOICE] You don't
need them anymore, Susan.
Susan!
Let's storm the castle.
And get our girl back.
Gang's all here!
Your office?
[QUIET SCORE]
[POLICE SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
- Do you want to get that?
- Oh! No, it's okay.
As I was saying, after this time off,
I am just a totally different person.
I'm picking up on that.
I read a little, traveled a little
and just hung out.
Can you picture me just hanging out?
- I'm trying.
- And now I'm back!
Ready to strap right back
into that co-pilot seat
and play that second
fiddle like Jascha Heifetz!
We hired a new agent.
Her name's Lomax and she's excellent.
Can't wait to work with her.
That is, if I'm still welcome.
Susan, you are family.
It's just, this is
really all of a sudden
and I just want to make sure
Excuse me. Can we help you?
- Yeah.
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
I could tell you were getting
to the part where you wipe
Susan's tears off her
shoes with your perfect hair
and I just had a quick question first.
Bitch, what the actual hell?
Where were you when I was getting
squeezed out of your
house like a festering zit
on prom night, huh?
You were in my house?
You just walked in?
No! I jimmied the back
door and then I walked in.
Your house kicked the shit
out of me and then spit me out!
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
It happened. We saw her.
I told you I was traveling.
It must have happened
when I was gone. Weird!
[ZOOEY SIGHS]
- I saw you in the mirror
- [GENTLE SCORE]
and I know you saw me.
Let's figure this out
tomorrow. But I'll be honest:
You got a lot of fences
to mend around here.
[CHUCKLES]
That's what I do.
[OPENING THEME FADES IN]
I'm a people person!
[MAN SCREAMING]
[OPENING THEME FADES OUT]
- I don't believe it.
- It's true!
A linear accelerator capable
of creating electron beams
up to 35 mega-electron volts
that weighs less than 75 kilograms?
It's less than half a meter in diameter!
- Unbelievable.
- Mm.
A doctor can throw it in his back seat,
drive to a rural hospital and deliver
precise radiation treatments.
- Hm.
- [TENDER SCORE]
This stuff is being developed by people
not half as brilliant as you.
But they have support,
they have resources.
Shell, I've been out
of the game too long.
It would take me ages to catch up.
All the more reason to start now.
Mmm
August, you can't be happy
duct taping a VCR to a
a blender so you can
frappé some evil spirit
and calling it science.
Come back to ASDRA, Augie.
Promise me you'll at least consider it?
[ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
[UPBEAT SCORE]
[SHARP GASP]
Lomax, right?
I'm Susan. Ireland.
It's-it-it's nice to meet you.
I saw you the other night.
No one introduced us
which I thought was rude.
I-I suppose you want your office back?
No rush. I won't be around much.
[SCORE FADES OUT]
I have appointments today.
New listings. Prospects. Possibilities.
[ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
A real estate agent who
hangs around the office
has no reason to live.
Darkest motivational poster ever.
- Phil!
- Welcome back.
I am literally dying for
that boundary confirmation
on the Matthews place.
Matthews? Matthews,
it's a That's a normie.
I have a couple things
here that can't wait.
What makes you think I'll wait?
[DARK SCORE]
I'm driving there this
afternoon. You can come along.
No, no, I can't. Felicity
has a doc appointment.
Sounds like a "you" problem.
No, if it was a "me" problem
we'd have something to talk about.
This is a "her" problem
and those aren't negotiable.
Look, I'll do the research tonight
and I can do the site visit later.
Fine.
[FOOTSTEPS RECEDE]
[SCORE FADES OUT]
Hey, Dad.
Sorry I didn't get here sooner.
The, uh
I know they're gonna be
opening any minute, uh
Luke!
I am your father.
- [TENDER SCORE]
- [LAUGHS]
I always wanted to do that.
How are you, Dad?
Still dead. Otherwise I'm good.
I, uh, geez! Let's see.
Uh, when last we left off
I thought I'd found
mom, but really it was
Doesn't matter. It's all in the past.
What matters now is the future.
- I talked to mom.
- I know.
The real one, I
We didn't, like,
run into each other's arms
or anything, but I think
we started towards I don't know.
An understanding?
That's good, Luke.
You needed that.
But, hey, got my fastball back.
We could pick up where
we left off and
Yeah. Things have changed.
You were my unfinished business.
I raised you alone, making
it up as I went along.
And I think I did a fairly good job.
But, I didn't want to leave you behind
with you blaming
yourself for family things
that were not your fault.
Now you need to move on in your life.
And I need to see what's next.
No.
I still need you, Dad.
You know it's not
natural for me to be here.
Take away my rugged good looks,
I'm just like one of
those things you find
in your clients' attic.
Now, you know better than anybody
what I need to do.
Absolutely not.
Luke! The last thing I want
Just a second!
If they could open any
minute.
[SCORE FADES OUT]
[UPBEAT SCORE]
[BEEP]
Megan. Hi!
It's Luke Roman.
Uh, I saw you called.
Try me back. I'll try you back.
We'll try each other back.
[BEEP]
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
- [APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS]
I'm going to the Hennessy closing.
Have fun.
You haven't talked any
more to Susan, have you?
I know. She's been a little
Heinous?
Off.
Zooey, she had a moment
where she wondered
if her life was really going
the way she wanted it to.
It happens to people,
like you and the whole agent thing.
And the law school thing.
Law school takes, like, three years.
And that's if I went full time.
- It's what it takes.
- And what if I hate it?
- Zooey
- It only took me a few weeks
to learn real estate.
And then a few more days
to realize that I would rather
exfoliate with drain cleaner
than do it every day
for the rest of my life.
So, you're just giving up?
Technically, I never started, so
What?
Nothing.
Just play nice with Susan, okay?
Not going to toss her
out the door or anything.
'Cause that would be wrong.
[ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
[TENSE SCORE]
Welcome back.
Augie! Thank you!
I got your, uh, email
regarding the Gunderson homesite.
We don't generally do PKTs on raw land.
Marvin Gunderson is very superstitious.
He wants to make sure the dirt is clean
before he builds. How
'bout Thursday afternoon?
I'm evaluating a new
Lomax listing at three.
Could we make it five?
I don't work past five anymore.
It's part of my new work-life balance.
How 'bout tomorrow?
It's a beautiful place,
up on a cliff, amazing views.
Gives you chills.
Tomorrow it is.
Zooey, I need you to clear my calendar
after five and on weekends.
I'm taking time for us.
Who's us?
Me, myself and I.
Drop that off at the
dry cleaners. No starch.
[SCOFFS]
What?
Oh, I'm just looking around
for who you're talking to
because I know it's not me!
Oh.
You're not an agent.
You're support staff.
If you're not doing my grunt work,
why are you even here? [CHUCKLES]
- [ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
- [SCOFFS]
[HOUSE] I missed you.
I missed you, too.
Don't forget me
just because you're out in the world.
I could never forget you.
There are so many distractions
out in the world, Susan.
Some have to be eliminated.
But they're my friends.
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
Some have to be eliminated.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
- [HOUSE DEVICE CHIMES]
[DOOR LOCK DISENGAGES]
Luke!
Surprise.
I realized I never brought
you a housewarming present.
We'd never blow off a client like that.
Thank you. It's lovely.
[SCORE FADES OUT]
So, this is the place.
What is it? Four bedrooms?
Three and three, but they're huge.
Huh. Thought it was bigger from outside.
Fits me perfectly.
I can see why you never
want to leave the place.
I'd rather die.
[TENSE SCORE]
Well, that was a little
dramatic, wasn't it?
- Hm.
- I just
You know, there's something about home.
Well, thanks so much for stopping by.
Friends?
Always.
[SUSAN; WHISPERED] Help me.
Help me.
Please Luke, help.
I'll be back. Promise.
Hey, we have to do this again sometime.
[SUSAN CHUCKLES]
Hm.
[DRAMATIC SCORE]
Hey, Zooey. Sorry to bother you at home.
We need an all-hands meeting tomorrow.
Everybody but Susan.
Just make sure that everyone is there.
Yes, that means you, also.
[CALL HANGUP CLICK]
[DRAMATIC SCORE FADES OUT]
[TENSE SCORE]
Uh-huh. Yeah, she's asleep.
Finally.
Yes, her poop is perfect.
Like a spicy Dijon mustard.
Anthony, you worry too much. We're fine!
Then check it yourself. Uh-huh.
Wait, what? You're
gonna be late tonight?
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Hang on, someone's at the door.
Let me call you right back.
[SCORE INTENSIFIES]
Boy, do you have the wrong house.
I'm looking for Father
Mr. Orley.
I'm Phil Orley.
What the hell do you
people want from me now?
What the hell, indeed.
[SCORE INTENSIFIES, SUBSIDES]
I'm sorry to bother you at home.
It was the only address I had.
What's this about, Father?
I am actually here as an
unofficial representative
of Bishop Fabrizi in Rome.
You know, you're going
to have to excuse me.
I haven't seen an org chart in a while.
Bishop Fabrizi was a colleague
of your mentor, Father Diaz.
The bishop would like to know
if you have any interest
in continuing his work.
[SNORTS, LAUGHS]
Oh.
Well, is the bishop not
up on current events?
I turned in my surplice and
parking pass several years ago.
The bishop believes that your
outsider status
would actually give you
the spiritual distance
to be a more dispassionate judge
of the phenomena you encounter.
Spiritual distance. That's good.
That's good, I like that.
You know what, Father?
I'm kind of enjoying my
spiritual distance right now
and I think I'm going to maintain that
by staying the hell away.
What I am about to tell you
is confidential.
What is it?
Is Easter cancelled?
Did they find a body?
There are some global patterns
we are seeing that are alarming.
[DARK SCORE]
Incidents of demonic
possession in children.
Young children.
Diaz wrote a book about that.
And you researched it.
You edited it.
And that is why I'm here.
You would have access to
all of the Vatican archives,
including the Apostolic
Archive in Belvedere Court.
Excuse me? Cortile de Belvedere?
I didn't have access to
that when I wore the uniform.
You see the urgency of the matter.
No. Out of the question.
I have a family, I
can't just move to Rome.
Arrangements can always be made.
All I ask is
Consider it.
Call me if you have any questions.
[MENACING SCORE]
[PKE DEVICE CLICKING]
You didn't lie.
This view is magnificent.
Takes your breath away.
The PKE needle hasn't moved.
Your Mr. Gunderson has nothing to fear.
[SCORE SWELLS, SUBSIDES]
[PKE DEVICE CONTINUES CLICKING]
[NERVOUS BREATHING]
[SUSAN MOANS SOFTLY]
[PKE DEVICE BEEPS]
[PKE MONITOR CONTINUES BEEPING]
We're done here, yes?
[CAR RUMBLES QUIETLY]
We have some unfinished business.
We never got around to doing
a thorough analysis of your house.
Oh, there's no need.
I live there now and it's wonderful.
There is what happened to Zooey.
Zooey's a flake.
She's a trespasser and a distraction.
There's something I've never told you;
Never told anyone.
[TENDER SCORE]
It happened your first
week at the agency.
Zooey was working late
and who should stumble off
the elevator but Bob Livingston
your old boss.
He'd been drinking and looking for you,
professing his undying love.
She told Livingston to leave you alone.
She told him you didn't need him,
You just needed a little
more confidence in yourself.
So she confiscated his
keys, validated his parking,
called him a cab and told
him to get the eff out.
I just thought you
should know that Zooey,
this flake, this distraction
it's just possible she
believed in Susan Ireland
more than you did.
[SCORE FADES OUT]
[LOMAX] No, I'm afraid
Miss Amaranth won't budge.
Well, is that very necessary?
[SIGHS GENTLY]
Uh, okay, just Just
be gentle with her, okay?
She's
a nice old lady.
- [SIGHS]
- [CALL HANG UP CLICK]
[GENTLE SCORE]
- Sorry.
- Let's cut to the chase.
Susan definitely isn't Susan.
Then who was that
unpleasant woman who just
- kicked me out of my office?
- It's her dark side.
It's all of Susan's
ambition and confidence
without any of the humanity.
The limited data I have
suggests something
we've never seen before:
A living person possessed
by an inorganic spirit.
Inorganic?
It's not alive. It never was.
That's why it didn't
trip our incursion alarm
as the roadies did.
So
how do we kill it?
Killing it without killing Susan
that's the trick.
Thank goodness we didn't use
our device the other night.
It could have done horrible damage.
- How?
- It was designed to extract
Susan from the house; Not
pull the house from Susan.
Guys
do we even know she's alive?
Phil!
She asked me for help.
It was quiet and weak,
but it was there.
You were right all along.
I'm saving the I told you
so's 'til Susan's back safe
but they are coming.
What about the builder
with the funny name?
Rabbitfoot. Yeah, I actually
just texted you his address.
Look, if this is a possession,
it's kind of my side of the street.
Let me dig in, see if anything clicks.
My friend, Rochelle, has
been working on a technology
that extracts organic
minerals from solid rock.
- May be an application there.
- [SUSAN] For what?
- Susan. Hi.
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
I don't remember getting
a staff meeting request
about tonight.
- Uh, um
- This isn't a staff meeting.
It's just a special
teams get-together on, um
on, um
They're about to evict Elsa Amaranth.
There's gonna be a huge PR fallout
and we were just discussing
how to handle the messaging.
[QUIET, TENSE SCORE]
If it's brand-related,
I have some thoughts.
We can't wait to hear them!
And by "we," I mean Lomax.
Hm.
[SUSPENSEFUL SCORE]
Thomas Rabbitfoot?
That'd be me. And who are you?
I'm here about the house
on Kindenman street.
[SCORE FADES OUT]
Rabbitfoot. It's a interesting name.
Family legend goes
that the clerk at Ellis Island
had so much difficulty
pronouncing my
great-great-grandfather's name
that he went for the
lucky charm in his pocket.
That's terrible.
Ancient Romans considered the
human phallus a lucky charm.
Maybe we got off easy.
Please.
[RABBITFOOT GROANS QUIETLY]
Now, about the house.
What has it done?
Friend of mine bought the house and
[TENSE SCORE] I don't know.
It's sort of taken her over.
You know something?
Her name was Hela
Ensom, a Norwegian woman.
From Telemark, I think.
She worked for an energy company.
She was out on an oil rig six
to nine months of the year.
She came to me. She asked
me to design a house.
Actually, that's not accurate.
She wanted to design a
house and she wanted me
to smile, nod and build it.
And you did.
She was involved in every detail.
Everything had to mean something to her.
It's why people build custom.
It was more than that.
She immersed herself in it.
She said it was her Evig Hus.
Forever house.
So, what happened?
She died.
A big storm hit the oil rig.
She was swept over the side,
along with eight others.
Her body was never found.
And this happened a week
after she moved into the house.
Hela had no relatives, so
the bank basically took it over
and then leased it a bunch
of times, but nobody
would stay in it more than a week or so.
Any idea why?
[LAUGHS]
You're gonna think I'm crazy.
Try me.
The house was mourning her.
Hela had put so much of herself
into that house it was like
it was an extension of her.
Now, people could move in,
but something would go wrong
and they would be out in a day or two.
The house is rejecting
them for not being
Hela Ensom.
So this house, what does it want?
It wants permanence.
It wants somebody to move in and stay.
It wants to be a part
of somebody forever!
[SIGHS]
[CLATTERING]
[SIGHS]
The short answer:
It wants her.
It wants Hela.
Wow.
Hela looked a lot like someone I know.
[ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
- Ready, Freddy?
- Where are we going?
Matthews. Boundary
confirmation, remember?
I'll drive.
- [SCORE FADES OUT]
- [DRAMATIC BOOM]
So, tell me:
What were you all
talking about last night?
You know, like, uh,
like Luke said, the, uh,
the Amaranth case and,
uh, its potential damage.
[DRAMATIC BOOM]
Uh, you know you might want to,
like, slow down just a little
I don't think that's exactly true.
Oh!
What were you really talking about?
- [ENGINE REVVING]
- Uh. Uh, uh. You! You!
Okay? We were-we were
talking about you!
- And?
- And, um
you know, just how we could be
loving and supportive friends
in this-in this difficult time. [BOOM]
Okay, okay! We were talking about how to
get the house out of you or
you out of the house, okay?
There's a really sharp turn up ahead!
- What was your plan?
- Well, it wasn't really a plan!
- [PHIL GRUNTS]
- [TIRES SQUEAL]
Susan! [GRUNTS]
I'm an exorcist! Augie is a scientist!
Luke is a specialist!
Zooey's an anarchist!
One of us has to be
right about something!
- [DRAMATIC SCORE]
- [ENGINE REVVING]
Shit!
[GRUNTS]
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[PHIL PANTING]
What?
[MOUTHING "HELP ME"]
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
- [TIRES SQUEAL]
[ENGINE REVVING]
[GRUNTS]
[SCORE FADES OUT]
Now, just so I understand
you want to offer me
up as a human sacrifice
to a naughty old house?
That's not at all what we just said.
Elsa, you need a forever home
and this house needs someone
that will love it forever.
Feels like there's a
deal to be made here.
I do like the kitchen.
And look at that view.
Three bedrooms, three
baths, tons of space.
Yeah, it'll probably take
an eternity just to clean it!
[LAUGHS]
Let me just show it to you.
Maybe you'll hit it off.
- [CELL PHONE BUZZING]
- Oh! If you'll excuse me.
Mm.
[TENSE SCORE]
- Phil.
- Luke, I'm a dad, okay?
People depend on me! I
can't keep doing this shit!
We need to have a long talk!
What?
[ELEVATOR ARRIVING CHIME]
Oh, Rochelle! He's in his workshop.
Augie?
Ah! You have it?
Downstairs. My people are
moving it into your van.
You want to use this on a person?
Well, yes.
And no.
[SUSAN'S VOICE] Why can't
they just leave us alone?
[SUSAN] They love me.
After all the things
you've done to them,
all the shitty things you've said,
they still love me.
- I love you, Susan.
- It's not the same!
They're not taking you
back. I won't lose you again.
- [CAR DOOR CLOSING IN DISTANCE]
- [HOUSE DEVICE CHIMES]
Just real quick, a few parting thoughts.
Why won't you people leave us alone?
It's only me.
You scared off Phil and August.
You pissed off Zooey.
She's done with you.
Looks like you win.
And, yet, here you are.
When it comes to people I love,
I'm stubborn, loyal and not too bright.
What do you want?
Give me one last chance
to say goodbye to Susan.
The real Susan.
Not the version that's 50% drywall
- and roofing nails.
- No!
I know that she looks like Hela Ensom.
She has her energy, her
spirit but she is not her.
She's not gonna get
swept off an oil rig.
She's a real estate lady
who fell in love with the
wrong house at the wrong time
and I just want to say I'm sorry
and goodbye.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [HOUSE VOICE] Intruder alert.
Back door. [DRAMATIC SCORE]
- Liar.
- Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.
I don't think I like
these new friends of yours.
[ELECTRONICS POWERING DOWN]
[LOW WHOOSH]
What? Uh!
What the ? [GRUNTS]
- Stick around, kid.
- [ZOOEY GRUNTS]
Susan! [GRUNTS]
- [PING]
- [LOW-FREQUENCY RUMBLING]
Luke?
Recede ab nobis, domus!
Recede ab hac femina
[BOOK SLAMS TO FLOOR]
Leges omnes pertinentes
emptionem venditionemque
peculiorum in hoc mundo seculare
[STRAINING] Locatio tua abit!
Locatio tua abit!
[DRAMATIC SCORE]
[CHOKING]
Ah!
[WHOOSH]
Ahhh!
- [BOOM]
- Ah!
Ah! [GRUNTS]
[INSPIRATIONAL SCORE]
- [WHOOSHING]
- [SUSAN GRUNTING]
Augie, it's working!
Come on!
No, no!
[WHOOSHING]
[WARNING ALARM BEEPING]
[AUGUST] Oh, dear.
[ROCHELLE] Augie, run!
[WARNING BEEPS RISING
IN INTENSITY AND TONE]
[WARNING BEEPS STOP]
[FOOTSTEPS SQUELCHING]
I didn't know if you'd come.
Something bad is happening in your name.
I thought you might want to fix it.
Luke Roman!
We have some unfinished business!
[SOARING SCORE]
I've missed you so much.
[CHIMING]
[DRAMATIC WHOOSH]
[TENDER SCORE]
[SUSAN SIGHS]
Hey
[SUSAN SIGHS]
I'm so sorry.
I know.
Thanks for coming back.
[SCORE SWELLS]
I was so worried about you.
So, we probably should
have called first, huh?
[BOTH LAUGHING QUIETLY]
[SCORE FADES OUT]
[SUSAN] Okay, that
wraps up new business.
Just some final housekeeping items.
The Amaranth House,
formerly known as the Ensom House,
closes at the end of the month.
Special shoutout to Lomax and Zooey
for expediting the papers and
getting Elsa's stuff moved in.
They beat the bulldozers by 12 hours.
Not even close enough to be exciting.
[ALL GIGGLING]
You about wrapped up?
I got a couple of things. [TENDER SCORE]
First off, congratulations are in order.
Father Phil has informed
me that he's moving to Rome,
where I assume he will
do as the Romans do.
August will also be
leaving us next month
to rejoin now I can
never remember this
The Advanced Science and
Defense Research Administration
where he will continue
to argue with Rochelle,
only now he will be well paid for it.
[SUSAN LAUGHS]
And Zooey?
Well, Zooey will be starting
law school in the fall,
so we won't see as much of
her as we'd like, either.
Now, as you can imagine,
I have struggled with this.
You are not only my colleagues
you are my friends.
But, after what Susan has been through,
I've come to understand
the danger and futility
of holding onto something too tight.
Even
something you love.
So, just so you know,
wherever you go from here,
there is something about home.
And this is home.
[SNIFFLES]
So stupid.
To avoid ending this
meeting on a bummer note,
I have one last announcement.
[CLICK]
I'm making Susan a full
partner in the agency.
[LAUGHS]
I think you'll all agree
that it's long, long overdue.
Hell, yeah! [LAUGHS]
[PHIL LAUGHS]
- [PHIL] Cheers! Yes!
- [GLASSES CLINKING]
[ZOOEY] Congratulations, partner!
Excuse me! Where are you going?
Yeah. What is it?
I'm good. [LAUGHS]
[CROSSTALK]
It's not really an office.
It's more like a desk
in the middle of a room.
- Partners?
- Partners.
[GLASSES CLINKING]
[LOMAX CLEARS HER THROAT]
So, who do I talk to
about poaching an office?
First thing Monday, gotta
start looking for new staff.
We better get on it because
there are so many listings.
So many spookies.
So little time.
Speaking of time I gotta run.
It's been a day of goodbyes and, uh
I've got one more.
[TENDER SCORE]
You know this, uh,
place kinda grows on you.
I didn't know if you'd
still be, uh around.
I couldn't let those words be our last.
I've been thinking
Thinking is good.
I've been thinking that trying
to hold onto something too tight
is a good way to lose it.
You won't lose me, Luke.
As long as you keep me in here.
You should go.
Find out what's out there.
You know, we've never been a
family of huggers.
So, let's just say
See you around.
Son
you're my way of leaving the world
better than I found it.
I love you, Dad.
[WIND BLOWING]
[SCORE SWELLS]
[SNIFFLES]
[PHONE BUZZING]
[CLICK] Megan! Hi!
It's great to hear your voice.
Oh, you know.
How are you?
[SHOW THEME PLAYS QUIETLY]
Really?
How long were they dead?
Hm.