The Awesomes (2013) s02e10 Episode Script

Previously on The Awesomes He's building a team of villains.
An evil version of the Awesomes.
When we get back, you will die, along with every other living creature on the planet! Where are we? It's a portal! To another world! - Which world? - I don't know! - Mattress World? - Probably not.
- Boy Meets World? - That's not a world! I hope I get to meet Mr.
Feeny.
How do you feel? I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm still evil.
What?! I don't get credit for being honest? I don't know what to tell you.
You just told me you're evil.
I can't win with you.
Enzyme enrichment failed to bond with infected cells due to evil cell replication.
So the evil cells are so strong that they keep growing back? Affirmative.
Well, I've tried everything, but nothing works.
I guess I'll just shoot you into the sun.
- What? - I'm sorry, Dr.
Malocchio.
I know it's not your fault you turned evil.
You're an evil villain, what do you want me to do? - But I hate the sun.
- I have no choice.
- I sunburn easily.
- Wear a hat.
Do you have any sunscreen? Oh, my dermatologist is not going to like this.
Ten, nine The sun is like the worst place for me to go.
- I'm very cold-blooded.
- Funny, I'm very hot-blooded.
Six - Don't supposed you'd be willing - Five to lend me some of your blood before I go? - Yeah, right.
- Two Wait! That's it! I know how I can turn you good again! - How's that? - Blood.
This is a weird day.
This feels awesome This feels awesome Yeah, this feels awesome Now, this feels awesome This feels awesome This feels so awesome Finally, a place I don't have to spend any money on my girlfriend.
Zeeb Zlob.
Zeeb Zlob.
I want Zeeb Zlobs! Wow, this place is crazy.
Wow, this place is crazy.
Hey, that bird sounds like you! Hey, that bird sounds like you! Aw, look at the cute little puppy.
- Frantic, be careful.
- I'm fine.
I am sticky all over.
Reminds me of the time I so don't want to hear the end of that sentence.
Oh, no! Heads up! Hey, Frantic, better cut back on the carbs.
Hey, Frantic, better cut back on the carbs.
I just said that! That bird is hilarious.
Okay, but let's stay focused, we have to find Malocchio Jr.
Fifteen weeblits for a Zeeb Zlob? How far is this thing? You didn't tell us we'd be walking.
I'm not wearing the right shoes for this.
- Try it in heels, sister! - Or feet with opposable thumbs.
At least you have thumbs.
Okay guys, calm down.
It shouldn't be much farther.
But why are we even walking? Couldn't Evil Impresario just conjure something up? Yeah, big man, how about a plane? Or a magic carpet? Or a giant bird.
With boobs.
Oh.
Or maybe just flying boobs.
Or they don't even have to fly.
Just boobs.
Yeah, can you make boobs? I'm not letting you people in one of my conjures! Look at your shoes.
No, no, ma'am.
No alien mud on my conjures.
Will you all just please calm down! We can't be a proper team of bad guys if you keep getting mad all the time! I don't think that tracks.
Now that Spaldetta is having her ladies night, I can finally have some me time.
Malocchio Jr.
must have used our Dimensional Modulator to create a portal.
But why a portal to here? What's so special about this planet? - Oh, look, a cute little - Frantic, don't! - Dad? - It's The Awesomes' space ship.
- The old one.
- I know this bird.
- We lost her in the battle with - The Veggie Master.
The Veggie Master was a black market organic farmer turned eco-terrorist who built a Terraformer to turn entire planets into lush vegetable gardens, destroying all forms of indigenous life in the process.
My father finally stopped Veggie Master here But not before he set his device off one final time.
Mr.
Awesome's super powers allowed him to survive, until we could finally rescue him.
Before they found him, my dad managed to hide the device in an ancient temple, keeping it safe from future criminals.
Until now.
That must be why Malocchio Jr.
is here.
To find the Terraformer and use it on Earth.
There it is.
- It's a temple.
- Do we have to do Jewish stuff? 'Cause I'm totally lost with Jewish stuff.
Ooh, Zeeb Zlobs.
You want to give me your blood? All along I've been trying to figure out a way to purge your system of the cells infected with the evil serum.
But those cells are pretty tough.
They are the cells that give me super powers.
They are, in essence, super cells.
So we'll need some "super duper" cells to take them down.
Which are contained in your blood.
Exactly.
I'm giving you a massive blood transfusion.
- Do I get a cookie? - No, no, no.
That's when you give blood, not when you get blood.
- Hm.
Can I have half of your cookie? - Sure.
And with that, I will be able to do what my father was never able to accomplish.
- Give shorter speeches? - No! Any super villain can rule the Earth, but I will use the device to create an entirely new Earth in my image, where plants and trees and flowers can flourish, and where everyone else is dead.
For years plants have gotten no respect.
We take them for granted, we use them, we literally walk all over them.
And all they want is every once in a while a little "thank you.
" Hey, plant, great job.
We noticed you're working hard, and we appreciate it.
Is this supposed to be a metaphor? Because I failed English.
But now the meek shall inherit the Earth, and who is meeker than a plant? Santa, use your mind control of animals to calm those beasts down.
Now we need to get across.
And since Evil Impresario won't let us step on his conjurings - Hmph! That's right.
- I'm on it.
We need a key.
Actually, we need a lot of keys.
And they need to be turned simultaneously.
Hey, I found another one.
My father must have been leaving these symbols to mark a path.
We just have to follow them.
I think we found our temple.
This must be so hard for you.
I know how close you are with your brother.
It's okay.
I just know that when we find him, I can really talk to him, and I can make him understand that what he's doing is wrong.
Hotwire, he injected evil serum into his veins.
- You can't talk someone down from that.
- You think I don't know - how evil serum works? - No, no.
Of course you do.
You don't know my brother like I do.
Before my dad took the serum, he was good, but he was always a little bit cold, sometimes distant.
And the serum magnified that.
But my brother, it's different.
Giuseppe's never been anything but warm, kind, compassionate.
He may have lost his way, but underneath it all, I just know he could never truly hurt anyone.
The Awesomes are still nowhere to be found.
We have every other hero on the case, but there are just too many aliens, and they're just too powerful for what remains of our superhero force.
If there's anyone out there who can save us, please come forward.
We need a true hero, now more than ever.
We need a true hero to save us all.
If you are out there, you're our only hope.
Ooh.
I should not have eaten that Zeeb Zlob.
Ten tips for dealing with an alien invasion.
Number ten.
Have a freshly dug grave ready, so when they kill you, whatever body parts are left are ready for burial.
Lola, use your powers to make them turn on each other.
_ _ _ _ And now the final test.
A test of intelligence, a mathematical riddle.
If I press the right button, the doors open, and we get the device.
But if I press the wrong one Luckily, as an accountant, I am very qualified to figure out a numerical puzzle.
Mm-hm.
Mm.
That's it.
Okay, maybe not that one.
Uh, let's see.
Let's see There.
Remind me never to have you do my taxes.
Who designed this temple, the kid from Home Alone? Okay, let's see.
I believe it should be this button here.
Yeah, because that's the only one you didn't press yet.
Right.
Now all we have to do is transport the Terraformer back to Earth, and soon the world will be ours.
I love watching weak people move things.
What are you doing here? Well, hello, Awesomes.
Glad you could be here to witness my greatest triumph! You can put your shoes back on now.
Oh, they took their shoes off.
How did we not think of that? You guys cover us while we get the Terraformer! Ow, ow, ow, ow! Ow! - Damn it! - Try tilting it.
No, the other way! Let me out of here, you pig! Come on, tilt it! No, no, no, top side back.
Top No! Hey Oh! To Earth! - Hey, what about us? - Uh, we'll come back for you.
Stop him! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, no, no! I can't be responsible for killing Santa again! It's okay, it's okay.
We're gonna fix you right up.
It's over, Malocchio Jr.
What am I sewed on to? - I'm gonna go with giant slug? - Oh, god.
He's right.
If you surrender now, we'll make sure you get a fair trial.
You idiots.
You left the portal open, which means I don't have to get the Device back to Earth.
I can shoot the Terraforming beam through the portal from right here.
- Wait! - Sister, would you like to do the honors? You don't have to do this, Giuseppe.
This is not who you are.
I know you.
I know that there's still good inside you.
You stupid girl.
What part of "irreversibly evil serum" don't you understand? Powering up.
Terraform begins in two minutes.
Looks like this is the end.
I guess they never found that hero they were looking for.
We're gonna have to repopulate the Earth.
And if we repopulate the Earth with your friends What? The rules are different now.
I'm sorry, Spaldetta, okay? Of course I only have eyes for you.
Spaldetta, don't look at me like that.
I I love you.
There, I said it.
Spaldetta! I will avenge you! Damn it.
Grabbed the wrong costume.
Zeeb Zlob.
Sorry.
Force Field activated.
There's nothing you can do now, Awesomes.
Ninety seconds.
- Hey, Malocchio, nice purse.
- Nice try, Gadget Gal.
My voice is the only thing that can penetrate that force field.
You're not gonna get me to shriek anywhere near it.
- That's it.
- Sixty seconds.
No! Let me go, Jaclyn! This is not a good time! You did this to me, Prock! You turned me into this! Stop.
I just need to push her off and then Ugh.
That's not gonna work.
She broke my arm.
If I'm gonna get up that hill and stop Malocchio Jr.
, I have to talk Jaclyn out of being mad.
But what could I say that I haven't already tried telling her? She won't listen because she still has feelings for me.
Which means, If I can get her to stop having feelings for me, she'll finally be able to think about things rationally.
But how can I get her to lose interest in me? Oh! The Rhode Island story! Start.
This reminds me of this gas station in Rhode Island.
- What? - It's a funny story.
- We were driving down 95 - Ugh.
Thirty seconds till the end of the world, and I have to listen to Prock's Rhode Island story? But the car, it could only use premium gas.
Must attack Prock Ugh.
But so bored rated as 91, which probably would've been okay except Who cares if you're dating someone else? You're the worst.
- Now I just feel bad for Hotwire.
- Ha.
Yeah.
Hey, can you carry me up that hill? - I broke my arm.
- Oh, sure.
I mean, how did I ever look at this and think, "I want that"? You can set me down right over here.
Now I just need Malocchio Jr.
to shriek.
- Fifteen seconds.
- Oh! Stop it right there, Giuseppe Malocchio.
- Excuse me? - I am taking you down.
As Special Prosecutor Jaclyn Stone, I will make sure you go away for the rest of your life.
And while super villains are respected and feared in prison, the inmates are a lot harder on second-rate knockoff children of super villains.
Jaclyn! Three, two, one.
Noooo! Now do Christopher Walken.
Hey, hey, hey.
Shoes off, please.
I don't get it.
If you took the serum, - how were you able to turn good? - I never took the serum.
By the time I got recruited, Malocchio Jr.
had run out.
Then how did you have super-strength and super-speed? I'm a very intense person - when I'm angry.
- That is true.
_ _ Doctor, can you help her? I don't know, um, if I Uh Hm.
Damn it, I just saved the world! - Guys, you came to help me through this.
- Actually we came for Frantic.
Anything happen while we were gone? With great respect and admiration, it is my pleasure to once again award Perfect Man our highest honor, the Superhero Medal of Heroics.
Been awhile since I got one.
Thanks.
And, of course, a presidential pardon of all past crimes.
- Here's the bill for fixing the portal.
- $95,000? You tore the space-time continuum.
That's not cheap.
W-What are you bringing this to me for? They said you were, like, the treasurer.
I'm the Sergeant at Arms.
Remember? - We just had that election.
- Just put it on his card.
At least Madame Hunchback's going back to France, - so I'll save a little money.
- Oh, you didn't hear? She can't go back.
France got destroyed by the aliens.
- Those are my kind of aliens.
- Oh, no.
Are you serious? Can't go back to France 'cause it got destroyed by some aliens, huh? Just my luck.
Every time I want to save some money, nobody gives me the chance.
And that was the scene at the White House, while later today Malocchio Jr.
and his evil team The Pricks were escorted to prison, convicted of a much less publicized plot to destroy the world before they were stopped by Who were they stopped by again? Hold on.
Breaking news! Perfect Man has just won another award! Prock, we've known each other a long time.
And the public might not know it, but you and I both know you deserve this award - as much as I do.
- Well, I think all the Awesomes I'd like to give you one of my trophies.
A 1986 Little League championship, fifth place.
I also won first through fourth.
Well, the important thing is, the world didn't get destroyed.
You were right, Prock.
My brother couldn't be saved.
I thought I knew him, but You do know him, and you're right.
There is still a good person somewhere underneath all that, and someday someone's going to come up with an evil serum antidote, and you'll get your brother back.
It's just a matter of time.
What the hell? Serum purge successful.
Diagnostic confirms serum has been purged.
Welcome back, old friend.
What the hell?! Conversion complete.
You mean his serum got into my blood? - Affirmative.
- Luckily, I have really good will power, so I'm sure I won't turn evil.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure I'm good again.
So can I have that cookie now? How am I supposed to know That you're high If you won't let me touch you? How am I supposed to know That you're high If you won't even dance? How am I supposed to know That you're high If you won't even dance? Yeah, you won't even dance