The Cosby Show s02e10 Episode Script

CLAIR.
I'M ON MY WAY TO THE COMMUNITY CENTER.
OKAY.
SO HAVE A NICE DAY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY? NOTHING.
NOW WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT? REMEMBER WHEN WE CELEBRATED THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY YOU PROPOSED TO ME? YEAH.
THAT WAS A GREAT DINNER AND YOU PAID.
EVER SINCE THEN I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT SWEATER THAT I WORE THE NIGHT YOU PROPOSED.
DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT? THINK I COULD STILL WEAR IT? OH, DEAR, IT'S PROBABLY TOO BIG FOR YOU NOW.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT COLOR THE SWEATER WAS? YEAH, IT WAS UM YEAH, IT, UH IT WAS AWWW.
IT IT IT WAS PURPLE.
A PURPLE SWEATER IT WAS.
WRONG.
IT WAS WHITE.
WHITE.
IT WAS WHITE AND IT HAD LITTLE THINGS ACROSS AND IT WAS REALLY, REALLY CUTE.
IT WAS LOVELY.
REMEMBER WHAT YOU WERE WEARING? YEAH, I HAD THE PURPLE SWEATER.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
I DO REMEMBER.
I HAD A PURPLE SWEATER ON, DEAR.
PURPLE.
YOU WERE NOT WEARING A PURPLE SWEATER.
OKAY, I HAD ON UH YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT WAS, UM UM WHAT WAS IT? IT WAS A GREEN TWEED JACKET.
THERE YOU GO.
GREEN TWEED JACKET.
HOW COME I REMEMBER EVERYTHING AND YOU DON'T? IT ISN'T THAT I I MEAN IT ISN'T I REMEMBER I REMEMBER THE IMPORTANT THINGS.
I DON'T HAVE TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING.
WHAT DID YOU SAY WHEN YOU PROPOSED? SHOOT, YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID.
SAY IT AGAIN.
I SAID "I LOVE YOU.
" AND? "VERY MUCH.
" AND? AND "I HOPE THAT YOU TAKE THIS RING AND BE MINE FOREVER BECAUSE I THINK THAT YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CREATURE THAT EVER WALKED THE FACE OF THIS EARTH.
WRONG.
THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SAID.
WHAT DID YOU SAY? OH! YOU MEAN WHAT DID I SAY.
WHAT DID YOU SAY? CLAIR, NOW DON'T.
I MISUNDERSTOOD.
SEE, THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING.
WHAT DID YOU SAY? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I SAID? OKAY, OKAY.
WHAT I SAID WAS, "I I SAID, "I THINK THAT YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON "ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH.
WOULD YOU TAKE THIS RING" THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID.
HI, DAD.
I'M JUST HAVING A TALK WITH YOUR FATHER.
NO, THIS WOMAN IS TRYING TO STRANGLE ME TO DEATH.
WHAT DID YOU DO? I MADE A MISTAKE AND I PROPOSED TO THIS WOMAN.
DAD, IF YOU EVER MAKE IT OUT CAN I TALK TO YOU BEFORE YOU LEAVE? YES.
OKAY, I'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS.
OKAY.
OWW.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THAT NIGHT.
I'M BURNING THIS SWEATER.
DON'T BURN ANYTHING.
I DON'T HAVE TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING.
I REMEMBER THE IMPORTANT THINGS.
ASK ME ANOTHER QUESTION.
WHAT WAS PLAYING ON THE RADIO WHEN YOU PROPOSED? WHEN I PROPOSED? ON THE CAR RADIO? YES.
RAY CHARLES' "I CAN'T STOP LOVING YOU" SOLD 14 MILLION COPIES.
CLIFF.
NOW DEAL WITH THAT.
HI, DENISE.
HI.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WAITING TO TALK TO DAD.
ABOUT WHAT? JUST THINGS.
WHAT THINGS? THEY'RE PRIVATE.
TELL ME.
NO.
TELL ME.
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
I ALREADY KNOW.
OH, REALLY? WHAT? I'M NOT TELLING.
FACE.
HI.
ARE YOU IN A HURRY? SORT OF.
THEN I'LL WAIT BECAUSE THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
NO, I'VE GOT ANOTHER HALF HOUR.
WHAT IS IT? I'LL WAIT.
YOUR MIND'S ON CLASS AND I NEED YOU HERE.
NO, NO, I'M HERE.
REALLY HERE? LET ME SHOW YOU HOW HERE I AM.
SEE, I'M HERE AND YOU SIT DOWN HERE AND WE'RE ALL HERE.
OKAY.
I HAVE A PROBLEM.
I HAVE A FRIEND AND SHE'S A REALLY GOOD PERSON.
BUT I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER-- YOU KNOW, PHYSICAL.
IS THIS PERSON RELATED TO ME? DAD, IT'S NOT ME.
IT IS A FRIEND.
GO AHEAD.
SHE CAME TO ME BECAUSE YOU'RE A DOCTOR AND SHE WANTS TO SEE YOU.
WHY CAN'T SHE GO SEE HER FAMILY DOCTOR? SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO HIM BECAUSE HE MAY TELL HER PARENTS.
SHE DOESN'T WANT HER PARENTS TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
EXACTLY.
WHICH LEAVES ME THINKING OF A FEW POSSIBILITIES.
I'M AFRAID IF YOU DON'T SEE HER SHE WON'T GO TO ANYBODY.
OKAY.
YOU TELL HER THAT I WILL SEE HER AT 8:00 MONDAY MORNING.
ALL RIGHT? THANK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I'LL GO CALL HER.
WHAT'S HER NAME, DEAR? SHE DOESN'T WANT ME TO TELL YOU.
SO, AT 8:00 IN THE MORNING I'M GOING TO MEET THIS GIRL WITH NO NAME WHO DOESN'T WANT HER PARENTS TO KNOW THAT SHE HAS A PHYSICAL PROBLEM.
RIGHT.
OKAY.
DENISE? YES? SEE YOU 8:00, MONDAY.
DAD, IT IS NOT ME.
JUST CHECKING.
SO, YOU ALL MUST YOU ALL MUST PLEASE DO YOUR EXERCISES.
( GROANS ) NO, COME ON, MODERATELY DO YOUR EXERCISES, PLEASE.
MRS.
GWYNNE.
I HATE THOSE PRENATAL EXERCISES.
YEAH! THEY'RE HARD FOR ME.
YOU SEE, I'M NOT USED TO EXERCISING.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO MAINTAIN MY SHAPE WITHOUT ANY EXERCISE AT ALL.
BOO! BOO! WILL I HAVE TO DO EXERCISE TO REGAIN MY SHAPE AFTER THE BABY? I'M HAPPY TO TELL YOU YOU WILL HAVE TO DO SIX WEEKS OF CALISTHENICS.
MRS.
DUBOIS HOW MANY MONTHS ARE YOU? SIX MONTHS.
I THINK YOU'RE A LITTLE OVERWEIGHT, DEAR.
TWINS.
OHH! OHH! NO, NO.
I HAD TWINS THE LAST TIME.
OH.
OH.
DO YOU THINK I'LL GET BACK INTO SHAPE? IF YOU STAY AWAY FROM YOUR HUSBAND.
THAT CONCLUDES WHATEVER JUST HAPPENED HERE.
I'LL SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK.
THANK YOU ALL.
BYE-BYE.
THANK YOU.
HI.
HI.
CAN I HELP YOU? YOU DON'T KNOW ME BUT I'M A FRIEND OF DENISE'S.
YES, DENISE SAYS YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL.
THAT'S RIGHT.
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD SEE ME TODAY.
ARE YOU PREGNANT? NO.
I'M POSITIVE I'M NOT.
I'LL CALL MY NURSE AND WE CAN RUN SOME TESTS.
I'LL BE ABLE TO TELL YOU WHAT'S HAPPENING EXACTLY.
THANKS.
I'VE BEEN FEELING WORSE LATELY.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SICK? ABOUT FOUR WEEKS.
YOU'VE WAITED FOUR WEEKS AND YOU HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING TO YOUR PARENTS? I CAN'T.
WHY? BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL KNOW I'M NOT WHAT THEY THINK I AM.
YOU DON'T WANT YOUR PARENTS TO KNOW YOU'RE SEXUALLY ACTIVE.
BELIEVE ME, THEY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T KNOW YOUR PARENTS.
ALL I KNOW IS IF ANY OF MY CHILDREN EVER GOT INTO TROUBLE OR HAD A PROBLEM AND THOUGHT THEY COULDN'T COME TO MY WIFE OR ME I WOULD HAVE A FIT.
MAYBE I'LL TELL THEM AFTER I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG.
MAYBE? OKAY, I WILL.
YOU WILL? FINE.
OKAY.
HERE WE GO.
COME ON.
COME ON.
HI, DAD.
WHERE'S EVERYBODY ELSE? RUDY'S AT PETER'S BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS HERE.
YOU GO ROUND THEM UP AND BRING THEM ALL DOWN HERE.
WHO'S IN TROUBLE? NOBODY.
JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU, OKAY? HI, DEAR.
HI.
HOW WAS CLASS? FINE.
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? SURE.
DO YOU THINK OUR CHILDREN TELL US EVERYTHING? WHO'S IN TROUBLE? NOBODY'S IN TROUBLE.
I'VE JUST COME UP FROM THE OFFICE.
A YOUNG GIRL COMES IN SCARED ABOUT WHAT SHE MIGHT HAVE.
ALL SHE HAS IS A MILD BLADDER INFECTION WHICH CAN BE CLEARED UP IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
LOVELY GIRL-- INTELLIGENT, BEAUTIFUL COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF OUR CHILDREN.
WHAT'S THE POINT? THE POINT IS SHE DIDN'T TELL HER PARENTS AND SHE LET IT GO FOUR WEEKS.
WOULD OUR CHILDREN NEVER GET INTO ANY TROUBLE WHATSOEVER OR WOULD OUR CHILDREN GET INTO TROUBLE AND NOT TELL US? I'D SAY A LITTLE OF BOTH BUT I THINK IF OUR KIDS WERE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE THEY WOULD COME TO US.
I TOLD VANESSA TO GET ALL THE CHILDREN DOWNSTAIRS.
WE'RE HAVING A MEETING.
NOW? YES.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
DAD, WHATEVER IT IS, I DIDN'T DO IT.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU DID.
I HAVE A FEW IDEAS ABOUT THE FAMILY VACATION.
IT IS NOT ABOUT THE VACATION.
WHAT'S IT ABOUT? IT'S ABOUT US.
I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT IF YOU EVER HAVE A PROBLEM OR IF YOU EVER GET INTO ANY KIND OF TROUBLE PLEASE FEEL FREE-- NO MATTER HOW BAD YOU THINK IT IS-- TO COME TO YOUR MOTHER OR ME AND WE WILL TRY TO HELP YOU.
OKAY.
OKAY.
NO, NO, NO.
WAIT A MINUTE.
SIT DOWN.
ISN'T THE TALK OVER? NO.
I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD BEGIN A DISCUSSION.
WHAT ARE WE DISCUSSING? WHAT I JUST SAID.
I LIKE WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
YOU SAID IT VERY WELL.
I'M NOT ASKING FOR A CRITIQUE OF WHAT I SAID.
YOUR FATHER WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT WHAT HE SAID.
WE FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.
GUYS, SIT DOWN.
THIS IS SERIOUS.
YOUR FATHER AND I WANT TO KNOW THAT YOU FEEL YOU CAN REALLY COME TO US.
ALL: YEAH.
ABOUT ANYTHING? ALL: YEAH.
OKAY.
LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE, ALL RIGHT?.
LET'S SAY THAT ONE OF YOU BECAME PREGNANT.
DAD! NO, NO.
I'M SERIOUS.
I KNOW IT'S NOT ME.
OKAY, LET'S SAY IT'S YOU.
ME? LET'S SAY THAT YOU ARE PREGNANT.
OKAY? NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? I'D WANT TO FIND OUT WHO DID IT.
OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY.
YOU DIDN'T FIND OUT.
YOU DIDN'T FIND OUT.
NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? CAN YOU HELP ME ON THIS? DON'T LOOK AT ME.
DON'T EVEN THINK OF LOOKING AT ME.
COME ON.
HELP YOUR BROTHER.
I GUESS I'D BE SCARED, WOULDN'T I? DEFINITELY.
VERY DEFINITELY.
IF I WAS SCARED I WOULD PROBABLY GO TO A FRIEND FIRST.
IF YOU BECOME PREGNANT, YOU WOULD GO TO COCKROACH? YOU SAID BE HONEST.
I KNOW I SAID BE HONEST.
I'M JUST AMAZED THAT YOU WOULD GO TO COCKROACH AND NOT COME TO US.
I'D BE AFRAID YOU'D GET MAD.
MAD? I'M NOT GOING TO GET MAD.
HA HA.
OH, COME ON.
I WOULDN'T.
YOU CAN SAY THAT NOW BECAUSE IT HASN'T HAPPENED.
I'M TELLING YOU I WOULDN'T GET MAD.
WHEN I SAY I WOULDN'T GET MAD, I MEAN I WOULDN'T GET MAD.
YOU UNDERSTAND? THERE'S NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT TO US THAN YOUR HEALTH AND WELL-BEING.
YOU SIT OVER THERE AND TELL ME I'LL GET MAD.
IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM WE WANT TO KNOW SO WE CAN HELP YOU.
I KNOW WHEN I'M MAD ABOUT SOMETHING.
OKAY, DAD.
OKAY, WHAT? IN THE FIRST PLACE, LET'S GET THINGS STRAIGHTENED OUT.
DOGS GET MAD.
HUMAN BEINGS GET ANGRY.
IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO GET ANGRY MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE YOU SOME EXAMPLES.
GO AHEAD.
VANESSA COMES TO YOU AND TELLS YOU SHE'S BEEN SECRETLY SEEING A BOY WHO'S SEVENTEEN.
OH! WAY TO GO, VANESSA.
SEVENTEEN?! FIRST OF ALL I THINK THAT I WOULD NOT GET ANGRY BECAUSE SHE CAME TO US.
WE WOULDN'T GET ANGRY, BUT WE WOULD GET SERIOUS.
WE WOULD SIT VANESSA DOWN AND HAVE A LONG TALK.
BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
I'M NOT SEEING ANYBODY SECRETLY.
THERE'S ROBERT, BUT HE'S ONLY TWELVE.
PLEASE USE AN EXAMPLE WITHOUT ME IN IT.
OKAY.
DAD.
SAY I TOOK THE KEYS TO YOUR CAR AND DROVE DOWNTOWN WITH THE GUYS-- YOU KNOW, TO GET SOME BURGERS.
OOH.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU DON'T HAVE A LICENSE.
I KNOW.
BUT WHAT IF I DID IT ANYWAY? AND WHEN I BROUGHT IT BACK IT HAD A DING IN IT.
I THINK THAT THIS IS A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR US TO DISCUSS.
I WOULD FEEL VERY, VERY COMFORTABLE WITH MY SON I'M SERIOUS.
YOU ALL THINK YOU KNOW ME, BUT YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW ME.
I WOULD WORK IT OUT WITH YOU SO THAT WE COULD GET THE CAR FIXED.
RIGHT.
YEAH, RIGHT.
MOM, I GOT ONE FOR YOU.
OKAY.
REMEMBER WHEN I SPENT THE NIGHT AT JEANETTE'S HOUSE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO? YES, I DO.
OKAY, WELL, UM I DIDN'T SPEND THE NIGHT AT JEANETTE'S.
I SPENT IT AT TOMMY WATKINS'.
YOU WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T MR.
AND MRS.
WATKINS CALL US AND TELL US ABOUT IT? THEY WERE GONE.
THEY WERE?! ( NO AUDIO ) YOU SPENT THE NIGHT AT TOMMY WATKINS' HOUSE AND HIS PARENTS WERE WERE NOT THERE? YEAH.
WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
ARE YOU ANGRY? ASK YOUR MOTHER.
MOM, ARE YOU ANGRY? OH, NO, I'M NOT ANGRY.
I'M MAD.
I WAS JUST KIDDING.
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
I MADE IT UP.
I DID.
IT WAS A JOKE.
DENISE, WE'RE GOING TO TALK.
I WAS KIDDING.
I SPENT THE NIGHT AT JEANETTE'S.
YOU CAN CALL HER MOM AND ASK HER.
I THINK WHAT WE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND IS THAT WE'RE GOING TO GET ANGRY BUT WHAT WE'RE HOPING FOR IS THAT YOU ALL WOULD STILL COME TO US IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS AS OPPOSED TO GOING TO OTHER PEOPLE.
WE LOVE YOU AND I DON'T THINK THAT ANYBODY CAN CARE FOR YOU WITH THE LOVE THAT WE HAVE.
NO ONE CARES MORE THAN YOUR MOTHER AND ME.
OKAY? OKAY.
OKAY.
OKAY.
I'M CERTAINLY GLAD WE HAD THIS LITTLE TALK.
ALL: YEAH.
AND NOW I'M GOING UPSTAIRS.
TO CALL JEANETTE'S MOTHER.
I WAS KIDDING.
THEO? YEAH, DAD? LET ME SEE YOU A MINUTE.
YEAH.
WHAT'S UP? UH I WAS REALLY INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT THE CAR.
ABOUT A COUPLE MONTHS AGO I PARKED THE CAR ONE MORNING RIGHT BESIDE THE TREE.
OUTSIDE.
I CAME IN.
AND NEXT DAY I CAME BACK AND I NOTICED THAT THE CAR HAD BEEN MOVED ABOUT FIVE FEET.
I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT UNTIL YOU WERE TELLING THIS LITTLE STORY THAT MUST HAVE BEEN WHEN YOUR CAR WAS BLOCKING MR.
DAVIDSON'S CAR.
MM-HMM.
HE CAME OVER EARLY ONE MORNING AND WANTED THE CAR MOVED.
I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU SO I TOOK THE KEYS UNLOCKED THE DOOR AND PUSHED IT.
YOU DIDN'T DRIVE THE CAR FOR SOME BURGERS WITH THE FELLOWS IN IT? NO, DAD.
I HAVE NEVER DRIVEN YOUR CAR.
OKAY.
THANK YOU.
EXCEPT ONCE.
WHEN WAS THAT? THE NIGHT I DROVE DENISE DOWN TO TOMMY WATKINS' HOUSE.
GOTCHA, DAD.
OH, MOM.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS EVER THIS SMALL.
I REMEMBER THE DAY I PUT THAT ON YOU.
YOU HATED IT.
YOU CRIED AND CHEWED AT THE SLEEVE.
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WEAR IT? IT WAS COLD OUTSIDE AND YOU LOOKED SO ADORABLE IN IT.
HEY.
LOOK, DAD.
CLIFF.
COME ON, CLIFF.
THAT'S SONDRA'S BABY SWEATER.
HER SWEATER.
THANK YOU.
CAN I TAKE THIS BACK TO SCHOOL AND HANG IT ON MY WALL? IF YOU DON'T CHEW ON THE SLEEVES.
I PROMISE.
CLIFF? COME HERE.
OH, NO, NOT ANOTHER QUIZ, DEAR.
PLEASE.
I FOUND SOMETHING AND I WANT TO SEE IF YOU REMEMBER.
GO AHEAD.
JUST START CHOKING ME.
WHAT? I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS.
YOU USED TO WEAR THIS EVERY TIME YOU SANG IN THE CHURCH CHOIR.
CLIFF.
I'LL BET YOU.
IT IS! AND YOU ALSO WORE THIS AT THE CHURCH CHOIR PICNIC-- THE CHURCH CHOIR PICNIC THAT YOU AND I DROVE DOWN TO WHEN WE WERE VERY TEENAGERY AND THE CHURCH PICNIC THAT WE NEVER WENT WENT TO-- THAT WE DROVE RIGHT ON PAST AND WENT TO THE RIVER AND WE HAD A WONDERFUL PICNIC AND WE HUGGED AND NECKED YEAH NEVER DID MAKE IT TO THE CHOIR PICNIC.
THAT'S RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU WERE FRESH.
THAT'S RIGHT.
DID YOU EVER TELL YOUR PARENTS? NO, INDEED.
DID YOU TELL YOURS? OH, NO.
NO NEED TO TELL THEM THAT.
BUT IN LIGHT OF WHAT WE JUST TOLD OUR CHILDREN I THINK THAT WE SHOULD CALL OUR PARENTS AND TELL THEM WHAT WE DID.
I'M NOT TELLING THEM.
THAT WAS LONG AGO.
THAT DOESN'T MATTER.
WE SHOULD CALL AND TELL THEM WHAT WE DID AND I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD GO FIRST.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MADE THIS UP.
YOU CALL YOUR FOLKS.
YOU SHOULD GO FIRST BECAUSE YOU DROVE.
YOU RODE IN THE CAR.
YOU TALKED ME INTO IT.
NO.
CALL YOUR MOTHER AND TELL HER WHAT WE DID.
CALL MY MOTHER? YES.
I DON'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS.
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER AFTERWARDS.
I WILL? HELLO, MOM.
HI.
THIS IS CLIFF.
YEAH, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? LISTEN, MOM, YOU REMEMBER LONG, LONG TIME AGO? YEAH, THE NOW, THINK BACK TO THE CHURCH CHOIR PICNIC.
WELL, I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT CLAIR AND I NEVER WENT TO THAT PICNIC.
WE DROVE ON PAST AND WE PARKED DOWN BY THE RIVER, MOM AND WE LAID OUT SOME FOOD AND THEN WE, UH WE ATE AND THEN WE KISSED AND NECKED.
WAIT A MINUTE, MOM.
THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
HOW CAN YOU GET ANGRY ABOUT THAT? WE GOT MARRIED AND EVERYTHING.
TELL YOU WHAT? JUST A MINUTE.
YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.